Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
The large Nerdrun Colletor podcast is a production of I
Heart Radio, Hey Everybody podcast podcast that's all about the
kiki things happening in the world around us and how
super excited we are about them. I'm a real casting
and with me as always is the crazy awesome Jonathan
(00:30):
Strickland Areal, I got a question for you. Oh dear God,
all right, here is your scenario, as the quister would say,
you are in an escape room and you have a
fictional character on your team. Who do you think would
(00:53):
be best to have on your team without them having
to cheat to get out so they're playing by the rules. Well,
that takes out Indiana Jones and mcgiver. Um, I am
going to say, catwoman interesting a batman villain. What is
(01:20):
your reasoning because she's very perceptive and um, I don't
know that you like you've really throw you with this.
They can't cheat. I'm like, she can get out of anything,
so even following the rules, I am sure she could
get out of this room. I have to admit, Ariel,
you have surprised me. I thought for sure you were
going to go Sherlock Holmes or something like that, someone
(01:42):
that would have been so good, except that I think
Sherlock Holmes would go down a lot of like red herrings,
like he would. He would just because everything is set
up to make it seem like it's a clue in
an escape room, and a lot of them aren't clues, right, Yeah,
so he could very quickly start going down wrong pathways.
But it's interesting you chose a well batman villain slash
(02:04):
anti hero slash hero depending upon the the what time
in your in her timeline you're in because I chose
a batman villain too. I chose the Riddler, ah, and
he is my favorite of all that man villains. And
and it's because he wouldn't have to cheat. The Riddler
thinks in terms of setting up riddles and puzzles, so
(02:27):
he would reverse engineer. He would think, how do the
people who set up this escape room think? And then
reverse engineer and solve the escape room without having to
say like, oh, you just break the lock and you
get out right, or or it's not actually locked. They
say it's locked. They obviously can't legally lock you in
there kind of thing. So that's that was my pick.
It was just it surprised me because I thought, for sure,
(02:49):
you're gonna go like someone from the Scooby Gang or
Shery like Holmes or something like that. So you really
surprised me with Catwoman. I was I was pleased to
hear it. Well, I was Indiana Jones. He breaks the rules,
Um mcgiver, he kind of breaks the rules. The Supernatural
Crew they kind of break the rules. So yeah, I
can't cat Riddler would have been a better option. I
(03:11):
think you chose like, even though there's not like a
right answer, I think you got the right answer to
be fair, though I also come up with the questions
I'm at a an incredible advantage in this case. That's true. Well,
it's also interesting that we both picked Batman villains because
our very first news story is about some DC villains. Yeah,
(03:32):
I promise. I didn't even think that while we were
having that discussion, and then I just looked at what
our number one story was and went, huh, that that's
just that's just kiss me. Yeah. We're going to talk
a little bit about the trailer for the new Suicide
Squad film because I think we both have different opinions
about it. So Ariel, what was your reaction to the
(03:52):
James Gun version of suicide squad. So I will start
off by saying I really encho way to David dust
Malchian made me laugh so hard when one of the
characters said I think we're going to die and he goes,
I hope. So yeah, the Polka Dot Man. Yeah, the
Polka Dot Man so funny. It's so amazingly funny. This
(04:13):
entire cast is amazingly funny. There was more and less
blue humor and gore than I expected, so the blue
humor they had was clever to me. The characters all
seemed not where i'd predictably expect them to go as
far as their conversations and motivations and things like that,
(04:36):
although there was a little bit more gore than I
was maybe expecting in the trailer with some King Shark moments.
So overall, I really enjoyed it, and I'm looking forward
to this raunchier version of Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah see,
I actually really enjoyed it too. I also felt that
it was extremely Guardians esque, right, it's it's you can
(05:01):
easily see the parallels with the whole These are anti
hero type characters Guardians obviously, they're a little closer to
the hero side but you know, you've got characters like
Rocket who have let's say, very flexible morals, and everyone
on the suicide Squad essentially has Rockets ethic ethical philosophy.
(05:24):
Um I thought that, didn't you have like a little
bit of a reservation about Shark. I think it's it's
going to be very gory and very bloody and very
graphic and and I don't know, there's one scene where
he's You're looking at me like I'm not thinking of
the right thing, Jonathan. Oh, I just thought that you
(05:44):
had thought the King Shark was coming across as even
a little too dense. Maybe, um I it was funny,
but I will admit I like the Harley Quinn version
of King Shark best, where he's just really cuddly and friendly.
(06:06):
So I like a King Shark that is not just
even though sharks are pretty smart, I think I have heard,
um I don't know any personally, you know this slightly
more amiable shark, but he he definitely is a shark still. Yeah,
there's no doubt about that. As he starts to munch
on various extras. Yeah, I'm very curious about it. This
(06:30):
one definitely has been more interested than the original Suicide Squad,
which I still have not been able to watch all
the way through. I've tried twice and gave up both times.
So this one I think I can probably stick with.
I liked the bits that they had with Harley, with
you know, her realizing that they were there to rescue her,
(06:52):
and she's she's concerned that she's upset them by having
rescued herself, so she's offering to put herself back in
jeopardy so that they can continue. It's cute, like cute stuff.
I also liked her interrogation of the thinker. That was fun,
so I look forward to it. Um. I'm optimistic about
this one, not even cautiously optimistic. However, it does reinforce
(07:16):
the feeling that pretty much every movie and the d
C EU is kind of compartmentalized off from every other
movie in the d C EU. I think that's their
goal for the indefinite future. Yeah, I don't mind that.
I just mind the fact that there's very little consistency
(07:37):
with characters that way too write like characters, the same
character can come across very differently from one incarnation to
the next, and yet be played by the same actor
and and reptile brain. Jonathan finds this scary and confusing.
It's it's just a multiverse. Just think of it as
a multiverse. That's what I keep telling myself, going from
(08:00):
the multiverse to the wide universe. We apparently are going
to be getting a ThunderCats movie. Yeah, tell us more
about this, because you brought this to my attention. Yeah. So,
Adam Wingard, who has done such movies as Blair Witch
and Death Note and god Zilla Versus Kong, has signed
(08:21):
on to rewrite a ThunderCats movie, which he first wrote
in high school. Well, he wrote a version in hyper version. Yeah.
Another screenplay was written for this film, and he's doing
a rewrite on it as well as directing it. And
from what I understand, he's like a mega super uber
duber ThunderCats fan. I mean he must have been if
he was working on his own version of a screenplay
(08:45):
back in high school. And in high school his screenplay
was two hundred and seventy two pages long. For those
of you who aren't in the know, Typically the rule
of thumb is that it's a minute of screen time
for every page in a screenplay, so two pages would
be two two minutes, so at that point, you're talking
(09:05):
like a four hour plus movie, which you know not
unheard of right now. But yeah, I will say I
haven't seen God sla Versus Calling yet obviously, but um
Blair Witch got good reviews, as did I believe death Notes,
so I trust him being passionate about the content that
(09:27):
he will hopefully be able to edit himself down to
something reasonable. Um. He says he doesn't want them to
be hyper realistic looking ThunderCats. He doesn't want them to
look like the cats out of the Cats movie, and
that is probably the best news that I can hear
about it. So I'm looking forward to it very much.
I'm curious because it is supposed to have like an
(09:48):
aesthetic that's similar to the eighties cartoon, so that I'm
really wondering how they're going to do this. This is
going to be like this like c g I animation
type hybrid thing, and it's hard for me to visualize.
I am. I'm very curious about it. I'm not the
biggest ThunderCats fan, Like I watched that cartoon when I
(10:08):
was a kid, but I wasn't like a hardcore thunder Cat.
I was more of a he man. Masters of the
universe junkie. So I wasn't really as big into ThunderCats,
but I did watch the show, and you know, it
would be great to have an entertaining film that really
took those characters and did something fun with them. It
says that the general plot is that there fleeing their
(10:33):
dying planet of thund Thundra or Thundara, can't remember what
the name of them, Yeah, Thundera, Okay, something like that.
I again, I haven't watched that since I was a kid,
but my fears that means they're going to end up
in modern day Earth, like that's where it's gonna go,
and it's just gonna be like a cat out of
water scenario. No. Well, I'm just gonna move from that.
(11:00):
Two other bad news, which is that we have learned
that Stars has canceled the Neal gaming series American Gods.
There's actually a really good article on The Mary Sue
about this that goes into detail about the various setbacks
that series had and when it was first coming out.
I mean, this look like a true prestige fantasy series.
(11:24):
You had incredible actors, a very diverse cast. You know,
Neil Gaiman was involved in it and American Gods is
a pretty dense but incredible work of fiction. So that
first season had a lot of people excited about it.
But then there were lots of problems behind the scenes.
(11:44):
The show runners got removed by the studio for going
over budget, and which meant that actors left who were
loyal to those showrunners, right, and then you had a
new showrunner and things didn't go so well, so you
had more actors leave. You had some actors leaving under
circumstances that were at best questionable, meaning that there were
some calls that were made that it seemed like they
(12:06):
were doing dirty to the actors. Um. Yeah, and now
Stars is no longer going to have this continue, and
they haven't concluded the story. Well, they're talking about maybe
doing a little mini series or movie to wrap everything up,
kind of like Far Escape Dead when it got canceled
out of the blue, But that's not definite. Um. I mean, honestly,
(12:30):
the first season was really good. It was really dark,
so definitely not for everybody. But I really enjoyed the
first season and then I stopped the second season halfway through.
It wasn't that it was horrible, it just wasn't grabbing me,
So this is not this is not surprising to me. Uh.
Something that is surprising to me is that Comic Con
might have a live event over Thanksgiving weekend this year.
(12:51):
That's an interesting choice. Yeah, so Comic Con is going
to have their virtual event over the summer, but they
are tentatively planning a Thanksgiving weekend event in San Diego.
The reason for the Thanksgiving holiday is for a couple
of different things. One is that that was a holiday
(13:13):
where they were able to get hold of the convention
center in San Diego. I mean, these these buildings, I mean,
when it's not a pandemic, they book up years in advance,
so it can be really tricky to find a weekend
where there's availability. Thanksgiving weekend, Hey, who would have thunk it?
Big conferences don't typically happen that weekend. Um. And so
(13:34):
they're they're getting a lot of flak from fans, uh
and and the press about this particular decision. They you know,
they're they're calling it tentatives. So we'll see. I mean,
they're already thinking that people who can't travel to San
Diego easily won't go. They still want to keep it safish,
so I guess we'll see. However, Pax East has canceled
(13:57):
their live event UM, which is supposed to happen I
think in July. Yeah, yeah, that one, that one happened.
It was supposed to happen into June. You're right, you're right, Yeah,
that was supposed to happen. It's been canceled. They will
have a virtual event instead, which is great, and they
are also tentatively or at least hoping that they can
(14:18):
hold the other packs events in person later in the year.
Those will happen around like September UM, so the hope
is that by then there will have there will be
some kind of new normal and herd immunity situation with
vaccines being rolled out and such. That's still a to
be determined kind of thing. I think that they're, uh,
(14:41):
you know, they're just kind of gauging stuff as it
goes along, because we learned all in twenty that you
can't just say, oh, in six months, this will be fine. Yeah,
they're hoping to have Packs East, but uh, you know,
didn't sell any tickets or any vendor space, just to
be cautious, and that was good of them. So body
who was not so cautious was a young twenty year
(15:06):
old young uh Tokyo resident who stole a bunch of
Pokemon cards in a very like mission impossible sort of
a way. Yeah, he broke into a store that that
sold Pokemon and Yugio cards. Uh And this was a
store that was located at the top of a six
(15:28):
story building. He apparently got on top of the building somehow.
I don't know how he got on top of the building.
Perhaps there was another building nearby that he went up
and then got on top of their. He anchored a
rope to the top of the building, threw it over
the side, climbed down the building so that he could
(15:48):
break through the window of the shop, and then he
stole around almost ten thousand dollars worth of Pokemon and
Yugio cards, plus another couple of grand and hash. But however,
in the process he was caught on camera and then
he was caught for real zes um, and he confessed
and said that he did it because he he owes
(16:10):
the money. They're gonna take my thumbs. He didn't say
they were going to take his song. Maybe the pinkies
he was going to pay off his debt. I think
it's interesting because he didn't really have a safety wire.
Uh and and he said, yeah, I did rock climbing
in high school, so I wasn't afraid of heights. I'm like, yeah,
I mean, that's the only only reason I go out
to the gym is that I'm constantly thinking I'm going
(16:32):
to use this newfound strength and flexibility in heists. It
just sounds like a cartoon or a fantasy story, but nope,
it's real life. It sounds like a Kevin Smith movie.
It does it does, or just some really elaborate prank.
And speaking of pranks, since it is April Fool's Day today,
(16:53):
we are going to talk a little bit about our
opinions on pranks and prank shows and things like that.
But first we're going to take a quick break, all right, Dariel,
(17:18):
before we talk about prank shows and our own ranks. Um,
have you ever pulled an able pools on anyone that
was of, you know, an elaborate nature? No? No, I
am really bad at branks. My husband is freaking phenomenal
(17:39):
at pranks. To the point like where and this, I
don't think the fools. This was just vidictive. Somebody went
on vacation at his office and he dry walled up
their cubicle with permission from his CEO while they were away,
because he was left doing some like very late night
early morning deploys for them to cover for them. So
(17:59):
he is phenomenal. I am horrible at it. Like the
best I can do is maybe look behind you out
of a window and get you to look. I'm not
I'm not good at franks, What about you. I've done
a few little pranks. They're usually incredibly silly things where
I make a claim that's just not not true. But
I tend to make claims that I think as i'm
(18:20):
making them. This is obviously a joke, this is obviously
not real. The problem is I underestimate how other people
view the information I share. So, for example, I live
across the street from a site that is frequently used
(18:41):
during filming, Like there are a lot of different projects
that filmed their Baby Driver filmed their Falcon, and the
Winter Soldier filmed there. According to The Falcon and the
Winter Soldier, I live across the street from Munich anyway, Yeah,
it's nice a short trip to go internationally. Yeah, I
just gonna bring my passport whenever I walk my dog.
But that that leads me to the April Fool's joke.
(19:04):
I claimed on Facebook that while walking my dog Tibolt,
who is by every measure adorable, that he was spotted
by like a scouting agent essentially, who was looking for
credits to put into a Captain America movie. This was
(19:24):
several years ago, and that I posted that timbole its
going to be in the next Captain America movie because
this talent agent had seen me walk the dog. Like
the talent agent was not at all interested in me,
but only interested in my dog. And I made up
some goofy like facts and stuff or whatever or details
(19:44):
about the story. But it was pretty tongue in cheek,
and I think I even posted something like and to
think it happened today, of all days, because it was
April one, Thus like the the definite indicator that this
is in fact not true. But a lot of people
started saying, look, that's amazing, that's fantastic. So I've done
(20:06):
things like that a couple of times. I stopped doing
it because I just reached the conclusion that I'm not
if I if I go so far that it's patently
obvious that it's false, then there's no real fun in it,
but if everyone buys into it, I feel badly for
telling them, Oh, that's not actually true. I made it up,
(20:27):
and I feel like I'm just lying. So now I
don't do it anymore. I haven't done it for like
three or four years. Yeah, I kind of agree, unless
the April Fools is like a happy surprise, like you're
you're fooling him at level A of good, but then
level level B happens like oh, I'm taking her out
for dinner, but you just want a million dollars to
(20:48):
med McMahon, which isn't really a prank. That's just a
happy surprise. I pulled a great prank on my wife.
I surprised her with a brand new car, and it's
really hers got you. But yeah, but you know, I'm
very torn over April Fools because sometimes I love it,
(21:09):
Like back when think Geek was a website, I loved
going on every year and seeing the crazy ideas for
merchandise that they came up with, uh, and then trying
to figure out which ones would become actual products later.
I have a feeling that that was them testing those
out occasionally, like in some cases it was like, this
is just silly we're just going to put it up.
And in other cases they got enough of a reaction
(21:31):
to say, like, well this should actually be a thing,
like the Tonton sleeping Bag. Yeah, I I agree, although
some of the things definitely are not in today's day
and age super achievable. Um. I also like when video
games will put out special mods for for April Fools Day.
I know, like Legal Legends had one where everybody moved
(21:53):
super slow one year or something like that that was
pretty hilarious. I like it when video because a lot
of video games will build in things where whatever the
internal clock is of the device they're running on, when
it reaches certain dates, then you get those kind of
special events in games. I love those. I think that
those are a lot of fun, whether it's April Fools
(22:15):
or something else. I liked some websites like Google would
typically have three or four things every year that were,
you know, not they were just ridiculous. They were absolutely
ludicrous ideas, and sometimes they would play with like Google Maps,
Like there was one year where they turned Google Maps
into an interactive game of pac Man, so whenever you
(22:35):
looked at a map, it became a pac Man maze. Yeah,
like things like that. I really like. I like that creativity.
I know there are people I cover tech. I know
there are a lot of people who cover tech who
are absolutely fed up with April Fools, and they have
been for the better part of a decade. And their
justification is that a lot of companies take it as
(22:58):
an opportunity to essentially just tell unfunny jokes or to
you know, present a big lie as if that's a joke. Uh,
And I get it. Like it's kind of like comedians.
If you go and see an open mic night, you're
gonna see some people who definitely do not belong on
stage and should not ever try this, And you have
(23:19):
other people who are doing really well. They might be
trying really hard, maybe they haven't quite found their voice yet,
but there there's something genuine there. And I feel like
the same thing is true with a lot of stuff
you see in April Fools, where some jokes are genuinely
pretty amusing and then some just fall flat. And I
(23:39):
feel like the tech journalists are so exasperated with the
ones that don't land that they've just written off all
of them. And to me, they come across like a
bunch of stick in the MUDs. You know, I can
totally see that the other side of pranks is now
I'm hoping that prank tech pranks are at least in
(24:04):
a pleasant, positive nature and not horribly malicious, because you know,
I've seen friends who, as soon as you you put
your pranks out there on social media or the news
or whatever, feel the the pressure to escalate to a
point where I think the pranks are no longer fun
and just horrible and vindictive and mean. I guess that's
(24:25):
why we have like the show Pardon for My Language,
jackass and such that I absolutely don't appreciate. So I
can I can understand if those if those pranks are
not good spirited, how they could be fair. Yeah, I
get that too. Most of the time, I don't even
think it's every now and then you get a company
that just as a terrible stupid mistake of a joke,
(24:46):
like they like joke in air quotes, where you know,
whatever the the quote unquote joke is really just comes
across as crass or insensitive, or insulting or a offensive.
There are those those cases, but most of the time
it's just jokes that just aren't like someone just has
(25:07):
to say they're just not very funny, right, Like, it's
not that it's offensive, it's just it just doesn't land.
But there are other ones that I think, do I
get it that it can be exasperating because everyone's doing it,
and especially if you report on tech News April Bools,
gets to be a bit of a headache because you're
constantly trying to suss out what's the real story versus
(25:29):
what's a pr stunt or fake story, and that can
get exhausting. So I do understand it from that perspective.
As for a mean spirited like when you brought up Jackass,
I never was a fan of the show, not to
not to speak ill of anyone who is a fan
of the show, but in that case, I think of
it almost like it's always sunny in Philadelphia and that
(25:50):
it's a group of people who are all doing terrible things,
but they're doing them to each other primarily, and they're
all kind of terrible, so it's almost okay. Um. But
there are other shows where it's most of the pranks,
like most of the pranks on Jackass are directed within
the group of Jackass, but pranks on some of the
(26:11):
other shows are directed outward towards people who are not
involved in that show Punked as an example, right, So Punked,
I mean it's all celebrities who are getting it mostly,
but they aren't celebrities who are on the show, so
they are are the unsuspecting victims of those pranks. Depending
on the nature of the prank, I can find it funny,
(26:32):
but often I just find it really mean spirited. Um.
I kind of felt that way even back in the
old days of light candid camera. Yeah, no, I feel
the same. Like it's it's hard to find like because
because the law of the humor of pranks tends to
be like finding that crazy reaction from someone, and obviously
(26:52):
getting a crazy reaction with something that is outrageous is
way easier. Right. However, that being said, the kind of
you probably wouldn't call them pranks, but it's arguably based
on the same kind of premise. It's just a different focus.
I like things like, um, the various YouTubers and streamers
(27:13):
who end up giving away money to people who have
like streams or channels that have very few viewers as
a way of just surprising them, or the folks who
give really big tips to really hard working wait staff
and restaurants and that kind of thing. But I don't
like about those shows though, because that frequently the hosts
(27:35):
come across as being a little um smug about about
their role in doing this. Uh, that's not so much
fun because it then the focus ends up being Hey,
let's look at me, and how good am I for
giving away this money? That shouldn't be the focus of
the show. I think the focus of the show should
be the benefit of helping out someone who, uh who
(27:58):
wasn't expecting it. Yeah, And I mean I kind of
think that that's that's a good line to to put
for any sort of prank. Is how are you improving
the prank ease life by doing this? Because and it
makes it hard because you don't always you might think
that something is a fun prank, and somebody else won't
(28:19):
take it that way, so you just you gotta be cautious. Um.
But yeah, if you're if you're generally trying to leave
the person better than they started off, as that's a
good prank. Yeah. I mean, like there are times where,
depending on your relationship with the person, something a little
more prank ish, like a little more impatient mischievous, can
(28:39):
be perfectly fine. There have been times where people have
pulled little pranks on me that I found genuinely hilarious.
One example is that on my birthday one year, many
many years ago, UM, a friend of mine gave me
a scratch off lottery ticket, and so I scratched it off,
and according to the lottery ticket, I had one ten dollars.
(29:00):
It was really exciting. I was like, oh my gosh,
ten thousand dollars. That's amazing. You know, it's not like
ten dollars is a lot of money, but it's not
a life changing enormous amount of money, right. It's like, Wow,
I can do a lot of cool things with this
ten grand, but you're not. You're not. Your life hasn't changed.
And then he finally broke it to me, So turn
the ticket over. And I turned it over and reading
(29:21):
the back of the ticket, it's clear that it was
a prank. It was a joke, it wasn't a real
scratch off lottery ticket. My wife was so angry. It
was her friend that because I met him through her,
she was so angry about this. I thought it was hilarious,
and she said, why aren't you angry? She was angry
at me. For not being angry, And I said, because
(29:41):
what he gave me was the gift of feeling like
I had one. But even though I didn't win, it's
not like I lost anything. I didn't lose ten thousand dollars.
I just got the feeling that I had one ten
thousand dollars and it was a great feeling. And it's
okay that I don't have it. I'm no worse off
now than I was before the prank happened. That's um,
(30:05):
that's a really great attitude, you know. I do think
that that's situational though, because like when I was you know,
I'm doing pretty well right now, but when I was
very very poor and splitting a pack of ramen between
two meals you like one, I would have been really
skeptical if a friend had given me a winning lotto
to get with ten thousand dollars, and I would have
(30:25):
like triple check to make sure it was accurate. But
then if I had found out no, I wouldn't have
lost anything exception of that hope of maybe like stepping,
like paying off a few credit cards and and having
a good steak dinner. So but but I really like
your attitude on that that's that's a really great one
to have that I hadn't thought of. Am I have
I lost anything because this isn't true? Yeah? I like that. Yeah,
(30:50):
I mean like I didn't. I didn't walk out any
poorer than I walked in. And I was I was
at a stage of my life for Tin Grand would
have come in really handy. But it was not. Um, Yeah,
it wasn't. It wasn't mean spirited. Well maybe it was
on his behalf, but I didn't interpret it that way.
To me. It was just kind of like, oh, that
was a fun feeling. I wish it were real, but
(31:10):
it's not a big deal that it's not so. But um,
speaking of things that we wish were real but aren't,
are going We're going to go into our mash up
as soon as we come back from this break to
talk about something that we wish was real but as
far as we know, isn't so. One bit of news
(31:40):
that we did not cover in our news segment, we
decided to move to this and make it the focus
of our mash up, and that is we now know
the release date of one movie and possibly a second movie,
although that second movie is more questionable. Ariel, which two
movies am I talking about. Well, one is Black Adam, which, uh,
(32:02):
if you haven't heard, is a DC superhero film starring
Dwayne Johnson. He's actually, I think most commonly a Shazam villainy,
but he's getting his own story and at least for
this first movie, is not supposed to be in it.
And then the other one in theory is Indiana Jones five.
So Warner Brothers in and Disney going head to head there. Yeah,
(32:26):
the article that we cite and you'll find in our
show notes over at large nerdron Collider dot com talks
about the suspicion that Disney will push that date, maybe
because they don't want to go up against Black Adam,
but also, I would argue because they are rapidly running
out of time to make the next Indiana Jones movie,
which as far as we know hasn't even been written yet,
(32:48):
whereas Black Adam hasn't. You know, it's got a long
way to go to. Superhero movies take a long time
to make, but that one at least has a shot
at making its twenty twenty two date. We decided that
since these two films at least right now are scheduled
to go head to head we would find out what
what would happen if instead of fighting, they made sweet
(33:11):
sweet love to one another and gave birth to some
sort of mash up. Yes, so do you want to
go first? Or shall I go first? Uh? If you
want me to go first, I will, but I'm giving
you the option. That means ears is really really good
and I don't think mine. Let me put it this way,
I'm proud of mine. That doesn't mean it's good. Listen,
(33:32):
I am always proud of mine, but I also am
proud of some pretty dorky stuff. So I'll go first.
This is Indiana Jones and the Lost Chronicles of the
Mysterious Child. So you all probably know Indiana Jones's story,
Well maybe not everybody my best friend and just watched
(33:53):
them for the first time the other day. But assuming
that you have heard his stories and watched his movies,
you probably probably didn't know that they didn't all happen
quite the way they were actually told. So Uh, the
year is n in Indiana Jones has just successfully nabbed
the remains of an emperor in Shanghai and has headed
(34:14):
home along with a nightclub singer named Willie who has
a crush on him, and a fourteen year old orphan
kid named Billy who he picked up along the way.
When Indie's playing crash lands in India, they all very
narrowly escaped the crash and head to a nearby village.
When Indie and the crew meet the local people in
that village, they are prized of a gang of ne'er
(34:35):
do wells who have stolen all of the kids in
the area to help them find some stones with some
odd markings on them that will lead them to a
state sacred throne room that is supposed to house some
rock of eternity thing. The locals explain it convinced stow
the powers of the gods upon its finder, and they
beg Indie to help stop the ne'er do wells and
returned the children and save the stone and Indie, ever,
(34:59):
the reluctant Euro agrees for himself and his crew. He
doesn't really ask them, but he agrees anyhow. That night,
Indian his crew get attacked by assassins, and in the
process of defending themselves, they find a series of tunnels
that leads to what one can only assume is the
ancient Throne Room. Sadly, the No Good Gang has also
found the Throne Room, having acquired all of the sacred stones,
(35:19):
and they capture Indiana Jones, Willie and Billy and tie
him up. Indiana says, don't worry, kids, I've got this
and begins to shimmy out of his bindings, just as
a leader of the gang lights a nearby torch to
search the Throne Room for the Stone of Eternity. All
of a sudden, Billy is encased by lightning and he
shouts Shazam. Against his control, he bulks up into a
massive hunk of a man, defeating all of the gang.
(35:42):
As Billy ties up the gang and frees the kids
and his friends, the Stone of Eternity falls on the
gang members, dispatching them, and a wizard appears to explain
Billy's powers to him. Willie, no longer interested in Indiana
Jones and kind of disturbed by her odd attraction to Shazam,
leaves to talk to a shrink, and Indie, a little
dejected at not being the hero, heads home to forget
(36:04):
about having been saved by a kid, leaving Shazam to
return the children to the village. One year later, India's
traveling along with his old crush Maryan Ravenwood, trying to
find the Ark of the Covenant before some Nazis do.
After some perilous encounters in Germany, they find themselves in Egypt,
where a friend tells them that the Nazis are looking
in the wrong place for the Ark, and he gives
(36:26):
them a guide, a kid named Freddy, to help them
navigate to the correct location without tipping off the locals. Indian,
Marian and Freddie go to retrieve the Ark, which happens
to be at the bottom of a snake infested well,
but just as Indian Marian and Freddie uncovered the Ark,
the Nazis captured them and the captain of the Nazis
ties them up, crippling the boy in the process. The
Nazis bring the three to the place where they intend
(36:47):
to open the arc, but when they do, lightning bolts
strike out of the Ark onto Freddie. Freddie cries out,
I wish Shazam, we're here. He grows superpowers and defeats
the Nazis. Shazam shows up, being called by this immense
our surge, and explains to Freddie that he is now
Shazam Jr. Used to be Captain Marvel Junior with the
Chien into Shazam, and while Shazam Junior still looks like
(37:09):
a kid, Shazam Senior is still a big hulk of
a superman. So Marian, no longer interested in Indian, leaves
and India, a little dejected at not being the hero,
heads home to forget about having been saved by a kid.
Two years later, India is at it again, this time
looking for the Holy Grail. Through his adventure, Indie saves
his father and his father's young research assistant Mary, who
(37:30):
looks oddly like that kid Billy from a few years
back from Nazis, only to be betrayed by his traveling
companions Savannah and Beautia, who are Nazis themselves. Savannah and
Beautia beat Indie and the crew to the Grill and
meet with an old wizard who explains the whole Grail
thing to them about like dreaming the right cup immortality.
(37:50):
Blah blah blah, can't leave blah. Beautia and Savannah tried
to take the Grail as soon as they see Indie,
Henry and Mary arrive in the temple, but it causes
a tem pull to start to collapse. A giant boulder
releases from the ceiling, and as they start to run away,
Mary runs through the wizard apparition and gets electrified, shouting,
I wish Susanne were here. She turns into Mary Marvel
nabs Henry and Indie from being crushed by the boulder
(38:12):
and escapes the temple. On the outside, Indie thinks to himself,
finally it's my turn. But Mary, who in this story
is legal, kisses Henry and they fly off together, abandoning
Indy to his rage and embarrassment. Indie vows revenge and
after years of research, begins searching for the fabled Black
Adam to help him defeat the Shazam Marvel family. And
I'm pretty sure this is what the next movie is
(38:33):
going to be. So let me get this straight. Your
Indiana Jones Black Adam Mashup is a prequel to the
Indiana Jones Black Adam Mashup. Yes, you've got a problem
with that. I was impressed that you you worked in
new origins for the entire Marvel family. Um, alright, Hey, hey,
(38:58):
Freddie was left for dead by Captain Nazi in the books.
In his original yeah, he wasn't zapped by the Heart
of the Covenant. But okay, okay, I'm gonna hey, it's fine.
It's a mashup. It's a fine. I'm gonna give you
my mashup. Mineus Indiana Jones and the Ancient Egyptian. Here
we go. Indiana Jones has a problem. He's seventy eight
(39:22):
years old. It's nine. He's in line at Grammin's Chinese
Theater in Los Angeles to see this brand new movie
called Star Wars, and he really needs to use the bathroom.
He tries to just focus on something else, but there's
a guy hosing down the sidewalk across the street. A
kid in front of him is sipping a soft drink
(39:43):
from a big cup and a straw, and a dog
just a little up the way is lifting his leg
and looking Indie right in the eye. As he does so,
Indiana grumbles under his breath and peels out of the
line in search of a restroom. Next to the theater
is an impromptu museum exhibit buil Ding promising examples of
ancient Greek artifacts. More importantly, the exhibit has a restroom.
(40:06):
Indiana rushes in after paying an entrance fee. As he
runs by the displays, he gives him a casual glance,
and we hear him say fake, fake, fake, Wait, what's this?
Jones is stopped and he stares at a piece of
pottery upon which are odd letters. This isn't fake, but
it's not Greek, says Jones to no one in particular.
(40:28):
He puts on his spectacles and takes a closer look,
his mouth moving as his eyes look at these odd letters,
and he utters only one word, Shazam bam. Lightning strikes
and Jones sees he is no longer in the museum exhibit.
He's also no longer a very very old dude. He
is a big, hunky guy in a king. He stands
(40:48):
before a mystical figure who introduces himself as the wizard Shazam,
and that the name itself stands for the power of
the gods Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles and Mercury. And
that now Indiana Jones must take up the mantle, as
the world has need of a hero to protect him.
Can I take a leak? First, says Indy. We cut
(41:08):
away to a totally different time in place where in
ancient Egypt, and we see a wizard the same as
the one from the previous scene in fact, bestow powers
on a man named teth Adam. The man looks a
lot like Dwayne the Rock Johnson. In this case the gods,
the Wizard Shazam calls for our shoo her chef aman
(41:28):
Zuti on Pooh and Mentu also spelling Shazam. I guess
the Wizard has a type. Anyway. Teth Adam gets the
same powers as Shazam or Captain Marvel if you prefer,
but the DC version of Captain Marvel, not the Marvel
version of Captain You get the idea. Soon, this hero
turns villain usurping the Egyptian throne to rule instead. That
(41:52):
prompts the Wizard to banish teth Adam, now known as
Black Adam to a distant star. Whereas Black Adam and
at Lea begins his very long journey back home, which
will take him five thousand years plus thirty more because
he stopped for burgers or something. Anyway, we see this
in a quick flashback sequence that leads up back to
(42:13):
present day of present day being seven remember for this movie,
and Black Adam returns to Earth. There he decides he
will take over the planet, but not if Shazam Jones
can do anything about it. The very very very old,
and I have to stress this, the very old. Indiana
(42:34):
Jones says Shazam to turn into a hero and uses
his newfound superpowers to battle it out with Black Adam,
and they start to have a big old punch fest.
What the heck, let's even get Zack Snyder to direct
this part. He loves these So Shazam's Jones and Black
Adams are are equally strong, they're equally resilient, They're equal
in every way really, and so while it's a real
slobber knocker, not much is actually getting done here. Shazam
(42:59):
Jones decides to lead Black Adam away from Los Angeles,
desperately trying to think of a way to defeat him.
He knows that his own power comes from the word Shazam,
so out of desperation, he attempts to get Black Adam
to say that word. Hey, what's your beef? Says Indiana, which, Hey,
Black Adam has a bit of a trouble understanding, because
the last time he was on Earth, he was speaking
an ancient form of Egyptian. So Black Adam says, an
(43:22):
ancient Egyptian, I don't even know who you are man. Indiana,
hearing the words, realizes what they are. And even though
no one has heard ancient Egyptian in thousands of years,
and there is no way to really know what it
sounds like, despite what Stargate would have us believe, Indiana
(43:42):
Shazam Jones manages to say, you mean knock knock, but
why who? Old man with fuzz face. Black Adam, genuinely confused,
looks off to the side for a moment, then back
at Jones and says, you mean Shazam Bam lightning flash.
Black Adam transforms back into teth Adam. But while Black
Adam had those godlike powers and was thus immortal, teth
(44:05):
Adam did not, and so in an instant, Black Adam
ages five thousand years seen this before, says Shazam Jones.
He flies back to Los Angeles. I guess I'll see
the movie tomorrow, you know, if it's still playing Star Wars.
Then he says Shazanne, transforms back into normal Indiana. Jones
(44:26):
grabs his walker because he is so old, and he
slowly makes his way down the sidewalk as the Indiana
Jones theme plays. The end. Okay, I I did like it,
but two things. One slobber knocker, Yeah, that's a that's
a good old w WF term from JR. Gotcha, gotcha?
(44:50):
And two is not that old Jonathan. Did you see
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He looked old in that
and that was done a decade ago. Yeah, but then
I saw The Force Awakens and he didn't look super old. Also,
he would say, it's not the years, it's the mileage. Fair.
(45:14):
But yeah, you might say I'm a little skeptical about
the next Indiana Jones movie. Listen, I i am too,
but I'm I'm gonna see it, and I'm gonna hope
for that. I mean, if they if they actually do
said it in the time period that would be roughly
(45:36):
equivalent to Harrison Ford's age. We are talking late seventies,
that would be awesome and I I would watch your
movie definitely. Well, Hollywood as always give us a call
if you're interested, and you all should reach out to
us if you're interested in sharing your versions of this
(45:58):
mashup or topics you want us to talk about, or
thoughts on April Fool's Day, or any other geeky topic.
We love chatting with you, Jonathan, how can they do that? Well,
one way you can do that is sending us an email.
The email address for our show is l n C
at i heart media dot com. Or you can drop
us a line on Twitter where we are Ellen c
Underscore Podcast, or even easier, you can let us know
(46:21):
on Instagram or Facebook where we're Large nor John Collider. Yes,
and if you like the show, make sure to subscribe.
Tell your friends. You know, the more people that we
have listened, the better geet conversations we have. We really
look forward to it. It's certainly writing up party review
us on all the podcatching services, but only if you
(46:42):
have nice things to say, because I'm a delicate flower.
That's true. Until next time. He is Jonathan Strickler and
she is aerial delicate flower casting mm hmmm mmm, m
(47:10):
m h. The Large Nur Drunk Collider is a production
of I Heart Radio and was created by Ariel cast In.
Jonathan Strickland is the executive producer. This show is produced,
edited and published by Tory Harrison. For more podcasts on
my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
(47:31):
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.