Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Noble Blood, a production of iHeartRadio and Grimm
and Mild from Aaron Mankie. Listener discretion advised. Imagine an
ancient battlefield littered with the carnage of the aftermath of
a great battle. One side has emerged as victorious, and
now the slow, arduous task of inventoring the corpses has begun.
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Time for the victors to take stock of what has
been lost and what has been gained. But there's something
unusual in this scene. A woman walking among the bodies.
Judging by the way the survivors defer to her, it's
pretty obvious that she's their ruler, a warrior queen. In
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her hand, she clutches a bag, a simple wine skin
made of leathered animal hide. At first glance, you might
think she's brought libations to toast her army's victory, but
you would be very wrong. In the bag is a
severed head, and it's not the head of some random soldier.
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This head belonged to her sworn enemy, who also happened
to be the most powerful man in that part of
the world. That head which once devised brilliant strategies and
conquered dynasties was now reduced to sloshing around in a
bag filled with the blood of his fellow fallen soldiers.
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If you are a little tired of before he cheats
as a female rage anthem, I will direct you toward
another innovator in the field of revenge. This is the
story of Tamyris, the warrior queen who brought down an
empire builder, who avenged her son's death, and who made
sure her enemy got exactly what she promised. It's also
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one of history's most spectacular examples of messing with the
wrong woman. I'm Danish Schwartz, and this is noble blood.
The majority of what we know about Tomyris comes from
the writings of Herodotus, the Greek historian and geographer writing
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in fifth century b c. Herodotus is known as the
father of history for an approach that combined rigorous documentation
with cultural context and human observation. One important thing to
note is that in terms of sources, Herodotus isn't exactly
pure reviewed. We're dealing with bias and also the possibility
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of outright fabrication, given that we don't know where he
got his information, and as with many ancient stories, this
one would not pass the Bechdel test, but it's still
a hell of a ride. Little is known about Tamyris's husband,
only he was king of the Masengati, a nomadic warrior
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tribe who lived for centuries around the steps of Central Asia.
The Masengati rode horses and worshiped the sun, and they
were notable for their progressive views on women. It makes
sense that when Tamyris's husband died, she would take over
the throne and rule the confederation in his place. In
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their world, a warrior queen was just as good as
a warrior king. But to outside forces, that progress looked
a lot like opportunity. Cyrus the Second of Persia, or
Cyrus the Great, as he's generally known, was an immensely
powerful force in the region and the architect of what
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would become the Persian Empire. He was a clever military
strategist who won many challenging campaigns, and a voracious conqueror.
Expansion at all costs was his primary objective. We can
also probably imagine that he was a man who didn't
like being told no. After all, he overthrew his own
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grandfather to claim his throne. When Cyrus set his sights
on the Masengetti, he saw opportunity. The tribe lived on
the other side of the Eraxis River, and conquering their
territory would set up the Persian Empire for even more expansion.
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The barbarian horsepeople with a female leader seemed like an
easy target. Considering the campaigns he'd won in the past,
Cyrus had no reason to doubt his success would only continue.
He hadn't anticipated that the widowed warrior queen would turn
out to be the most formidable opponent he had ever faced,
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the opponent who would lead to his ultimate death. But
as I said to Cyrus, this whole thing seemed like
a lay. Besides, he was single, Tomyris was single. They
would get married, and Cyrus would get control of the Masingetti.
It's an easy, non hostile takeover. But Tomiris saw through
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his plan and turned down his offer of marriage. And
that's when things really started to head south. If you
think men today don't like being rejected, imagine how well
it went over with someone who collected empires like Pokemon cards.
Cyrus would later be praised for a ruling style that
actually employed a fair amount of autonomy among his subjects,
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but when it came to Tomyris, he wouldn't take no
foreign answer. If he couldn't conquer the Masengetti by marriage
the easy way, he would have to do it the
old fashioned way. Sources differ on whether or not Cyrus
actually declared war on the Massingetti, but whether or not
he made it official. When his army began building a
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bridge that would carry his men across the Araxis into
Massngati territory, there was no question of his intentions. Tomyris
sent word to him advising him to call off his attack,
basically employing the you do you and I'll do me approach.
But of course Cyrus was not content to let her
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be the one that got away. Instead, he decided to
enter the territory and enter what we might call today
the f around and find out stage. After dismissing Tomyris's warning,
Cyrus went to the root of many modern day toxic
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men who blame not getting what they want on women
quote not liking nice guys. Although a brief note, Cyrus
was never a nice guy. But if Tomyris wouldn't give
him her kingdom as a wedding gift, he would just
have to take it. By force. Cyrus was advised by
others not to cross the Araxis and put his arm
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me in foreign territory. Instead, he was counseled to let
the Messengetti come to him, giving him the home advantage.
That was sound reasoning, but he quickly discarded it. At
the time. Cyrus's most trusted advice came from an unusual source, Criesus,
the former king of Lydia of richer than Creesus fame.
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Cresus actually became Cyrus's subject after the Persians conquered Lydia
several years earlier. Despite defeating Creesus in battle, Cyrus leaned
on him for advice and appreciated the man's aggressively old
school stance on things like women in power. He wasn't
a fan. Crisus urged Cyrus to bring the fight to
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to Myrius. Whether he was still stinging from the rejection
of his marriage proposal or just itching for a good fight.
Cyrus took Criesus's advice and decided to attack the Mesengeti
on their own turf. Cyrus invaded, but after crossing the river,
they were quickly defeated by Tomyris's army. The Persian army retreated,
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and Creesus helped Cyrus formulate a new plan, one that
wouldn't rely on physical domination at all. Like other local
tribes at the time, the Mesengeti were milk drinkers. Their
intoxicants of choice were cannabis and fermented mare's milk. They
had no experience with and therefore no tolerance for wine.
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That inspired a diabolically clever maneuver that would be the
beginning of the end for Cyrus. According to Herodotus's account,
Cyrus had a large banquet set up under Persian tents.
It was a sumptuous feast with plenty of strong wine.
Then Cyrus and his men withdrew, leaving the banquet intact,
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with theation that surely the Persian army had quickly retreated
and left all of their goodies behind. With that the
trap was set, The Masengeti army, led by Tomyris's son,
came upon the tents and discovered what appeared to be
an abandoned feast. Naturally, the warriors dug in and helped
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themselves to everything they found. The wine flowed freely, and
the warriors soon discovered that they had no tolerance for
this stuff. The entire contingent quickly fell into a drunken stupor.
Little did they know that they had walked right into
Cyrus's trap. As soon as the Masengeti were incapacitated, the
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Persian army descended. The previously fearsome warriors became sitting ducks,
and they were quickly slaughtered by the invading army. It
was a brilliant plan that exploited the differences in their
cultures and allowed for an easy victory for Cyrus. Tomyris's
son was taken alive, but he wouldn't remain that way
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for long. Once the young prince was able to sober
up and realize what had happened to his fellow soldiers,
the magnitude of the situation was clear. As it set
in that he had led his men directly to their
own slaughter, the shame became unbearable. Unable to picture a
world where he could go back and face his mother,
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he took his own life. Other sources have Cyrus killing
Tomyris's son himself, but anyway you look at it, the
blame for the young man's death rested squarely on Cyrus. Naturally,
when Tomyris found out what happened, her rage was all consuming.
She sent Cyrus a barn burner of a message that
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was the tonal opposite of her polite first morning. This
one was glutton for blood. Your weapon was red wine,
which you Persians drinks until you are so crazy that
shameful words float on the liquor's fumes. This was the
poison you used to destroy my army and my son.
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Leave my land now, or I swear by the sun,
I will give you more blood than you can drink.
Of course, Cyrus did not retreat, and the warrior queen
made good on her threat. What followed was an epically
destructive fight between the Persians and the Masengeti, so brutal
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that it was described by Herodotus as the fiercest battle
among barbarians in the ancient world. Fighting began at long
range with bows and arrows. Then things got up close
and personal with spear and dagger work that put on
vivid display the full force of the Masengeti fighting prowess.
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The Masengeti didn't just defeat Cyrus's forces, they destroyed them.
When the battle and end, and did Cyrus the Great
himself lay dead on the battlefield, but Tomyrius wasn't finished.
The warrior queen had one final move to make, and
this one was grotesquely literal. She searched among the fallen
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Persian soldiers until she found Cyrus's corpse. She ordered his
head to be chopped off. Then she dropped Cyrus's head
into a wine skin full of blood that had been
collected from his men. As she did this, she cried,
drink your fill of blood. Was dunking the dead king's
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head in his own soldier's blood overkill? Some might say, yes,
but the wrath of a grieving mother is not a
thing to underestimate. Cyrus the Great, who had built an
empire through conquest and clever strategy, met his end at
the hands of a woman he had underestimated. Tomyris proved
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that to defying her warnings carried severe consequences, and that
men didn't have a monopoly on rage. I think we
can all agree that, in modern terms, carrying your enemy's
decapitated head around in a wine bag full of his
own soldier's blood is about as f around and find
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out as you can get. Little is known about Tomyris's
life following her victory over Cyrus, but her actions in
that battle were enough to gain her a good amount
of notoriety. Throughout the centuries, Tomyris became part of a
popular artistic theme of celebrating powerful female figures who triumphed
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over men. Women like Tomyris, or like Judith over Holophernes.
Tomiris was especially popular during the Renaissance, when European artists
and writers couldn't get enough of her story. They were,
of course, especially fond of depicting the final gruesome moment
with Cyrus's head and the blood filled wine skin. One
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particularly notable work was a fresco by the Renaissance painter
Andrea del Castagno, which was discovered in Florence in eighteen
forty seven. Among the nine larger than life figures portrayed,
Tomyris stands proudly alongside literary giants like Dante and Petrart.
The partially worn inscription beneath her feet celebrated two of
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her key achievements, avenging her son and deliberating her people.
We can assume that showboding with her enemy's decapitated head
was a third unspoken highlight. But Tomyris was not just
a Renaissance fascination. Ancient writers couldn't get enough of her
story either. She represented something unique, a woman who defeated
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the most powerful man of her time in battle. She
was both a grieving mother seeking vengeance and a fierce
warrior queen protecting her people. That duality made for an
iconic figure whose legacy would stand the test of time. Today,
Tamyris lives on across Central Asia. She's claimed as a
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national heroine by multiple countries, including Azerbaijan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and
regions of Western Turkey. In those areas, the name Tomyris
remained popular among young girls, a badass namesake and testament
to her influence. Kazakhstan even issued coins bearing her image,
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cementing her place in modern cultural memory. As with many
ancient historical figures, separating fact from legend in Tamyris's story
can be challenging, but perhaps the exact details matter less
in this case than what her story represents. She was
a powerful woman who refused to be conquered either by
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marriage or by force, who protected her people's sovereignty at
all costs, and who proved that when push comes to shove,
women can act just as unhinged and violent as men can.
That's the legend of Tomyris. But keep listening after a
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brief sponsor break, to hear a little bit about how
a new discovery shed light on her story. In twenty ten,
an archaeological discovery in northern Kazakhstan sparked new interest in
Tomyris's story. Researchers uncovered what they called the Golden Warrior Tomb,
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dating back to somewhere between the seventh and fourth centuries BC.
The burial site was a treasure trove containing a body
adorned in gold and surrounded by more than one hundred
precious objects, including one ornate tiger griffin figure, bronze arrowheads,
and decorated sword belts. Initially, experts identified the skeleton as
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belonging to a middle aged man, but subsequent analysis has
left the question of gender open. Some have speculated that
this could be the tomb of Tomyris herself, although that
remains purely conjecture. What's particularly interesting is that this discovery
isn't isolated. A similar Saca grave found in twenty thirteen
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contained the remains of a tall woman wearing a golden
pointed hat and elaborate jewelry, proving that powerful women were
indeed honored with magnificent burials in this region and era.
Whether or not one of those tombs belonged to Tomyris,
it's undeniable that the power of her story lives on.
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The warrior Queen of the Masngeti exists in a space
between history and legend, fact and interpretation. But what remains
across centuries and culture is how irresistible that story is.
What's not to love about a story of resistance, revenge, and,
let's face it, the ultimate accessory. Here's a free idea
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for any fashion designers out there. A Tomiras handbag head
not included. Noble Blood is a production of iHeartRadio and
Grim and Mild from Aaron Manky. Noble Blood is hosted
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by me Dana Schwartz, with additional writing and research by
Hannah Johnston, Hannahswick, Courtney Sender, Amy Hit and Julia Melaney.
The show is edited and produced by Jesse Funk, with
supervising producer rima il Kaali and executive producers Aaron Mankey,
Trevor Young, and Matt Frederick. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
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visit the iHeartRadio, app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.