Defying Gravity with Jenna Johnson Chmerkovskiy

Dancing with the Stars pro Jenna Johnson Chermkovskiy waltzes into the O.R. for a no limits hang with Becca and Tanya!

Find out Jenna’s reaction to all the rumors you might have heard about her husband Val and his dance partner. 

And Jenna shares a few easy tricks she taught JoJo Siwa to build strength and confidence in her body. You can do these at home!

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya Read and iHeartRadio
and two time People's Choice Award winning podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing it. Tanya. Yeah, so last
week we were talking on the podcast, was like, hey,
like what happened last week? And you were like, no, nothing,
like we talked about nonsense, and you forgot to mention
that you fully interviewed Chris Martin.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
I know, and I would like to apologize because that
was pre taped, and so I'm supposed to keep my
mouth shut until it airs, and so I sometimes forget
when I'm allowed to speak. That sounds bad, but you know,
I don't talk about it. Yeah, so let me tell you.
Making Chris Martin giggle is something like that. It's almost

(00:57):
like an angel came and blessed my life in that moment,
Like I didn't even see straight.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
He giggled like I actually made him laugh.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Did you feel like you were high on life?

Speaker 4 (01:07):
I will never have to do drugs. I was happy
to call that for that moment.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, you say that made him giggle? Uh?

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Oh, well, I pronounced one of the songs correctly, Coloratura.
It's the last one, and I was saying how I
love how long the song is because it's a really
good makeout song, because that's when I'm you know, I
love the like, yeah, a good makeout playlist is like clutch,
and so I say something to that effect, and they all,
actually all the members of cold Play had a nice

(01:36):
giggle wow, and it just really brought me to a
euphoric place. And Chris Martin actually, honestly, I want to
say every single one of them, they are so humble,
so nice. After the interview was done, he was like,
is rad really your last name? And I said, oh,
it's you know, ready Savia Beach. And he was like
asking me stuff about me, and I'm like, you're Chris Martin.

(01:59):
You can walk off and be done with me, you know,
like you don't need to entertain me.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
Or act like you care. But he, like, I think
he genuinely cares and is curious.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
And he wants to be nice to people, and he's
so humble, and I'm just like, there's nothing I could
say that would encapsulate how I feel about that band.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I mean that is I can't even process like that
one and Harry's styles, Like I can't even process what
it would feel like to have a like conversation outside
of a public interview, but like a one on one
conversation where they're just being a genuinely nice human being. Oh,
Chris Martin, like he wrote the soundtrack to like when

(02:45):
I'm driving in the car a loon and I want
to feel something, I put on cold Play.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
Oh my, I know. The song's just like Oh, he
just knows.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
They know how to get you, they know how to
like go into your intestine and like ruffle things up.
And I just love I just love them. And honestly,
I've had such great interactions with Chris Martin in the past.
He's come on the Morning show, he's come in studio before,
and I've said things about like those love pins, about
how I try to get one at one of his.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
Concerts, and he literally took it off his.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Jacket, his own personal jacket, and gave it to me.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
I'm nothing, I'm a little peon. Like I'm nothing. Chris
Martin does not need to be nice to me, and
he's just always.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Been so nice. So I'm just I'm a forever fan.
I really enjoyed that experience. And if you are a
cold Play fan and a Chris Martin fan keep at
it because they deserve everything good that comes their way.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
I love that. I mean you think that it's you
mean nothing, but like, we're all just human beings and
they have created such an amazing art for us, but
also they're still human. I love that he treats people
as if he hasn't like captured the world with his music,
you know what I'm saying. But like, isn't that sad

(04:01):
that the expectation is like, he doesn't even have to
treat me like a human being. He should just be
done after the interview. It's like, no, like it shouldn't
be that way. But it is so cool when someone
at that.

Speaker 4 (04:11):
Level, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Why except for Jenniferson, Jenniferson unapproachable.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Wait, there is this there is this concert that Chris Martin.
I can't remember where it was, but he basically said
something he was going to play my Universe and he
pointed up to like and he was like, in my
universe is here. It was Dakota Johnson and I played
My Universe the song the Coldplay song on my weekend show,
The Vibe, and I dedicated it to Red Star.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
And I was like oh, and he does like, oh.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Do you feel like Dakota Johnson and I dedicated this song.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
He's like, huh yeah, it's like who yeah, what I
love that about Red Star.

Speaker 4 (04:53):
I know me too, bless up.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Like I feel like there's been times where we're just
Tanya and I are having a full conversation about something
culture and Reds are just like looking back and forth,
like just watching us has no idea what we're talking about.
You know.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
It's crazy though. He's on Twitter all the time, like
Twitter is his.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Choice of news news.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yeah, he loves Twitter.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
And we were talking the other day about the Cravis.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
I was like, you know, courting crashing, Travis got engage.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was like, this is so great for Halloween cost
and don't you think and he was like, they did.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Inst you on Instagram.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
I was like it was everything that I saw on
Instagram every It was all over all, the everything for
two days. And I told him I think on Tuesday.
It happened on a Sunday. He's like, I didn't see anything,
So he like googles it, right, he searches it on
Twitter and beef sees and now the next day he
goes my entire feed is Cravis News, and I was like, oh,
maybe yeah, maybe the algorithm feeds me this stuff because

(05:45):
I like.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
Populish yoursel I know, like what's his feed? Like football
and stuff?

Speaker 5 (05:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Just sports?

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Sports. Yeah, I mean that's pretty epic. Congrats. I don't
know who you can. I guess to sit down with
Taylor Swift would be next. Was that like, at what
point do you feel like you've maxed out?

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Just that cold play? What I feel good? Strong about that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (06:13):
I don't know how to trance, you know, go into
the next topic. I have nothing to add to that
that's even comparable. I did watch Grays last night.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
I did too.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
What do you think? Okay, wait, before we started, way,
are you talking about this week's episode? You know, we
didn't discuss last week's episode Amelia with the new doctor
over that zoom call that there was like clearly some tension.

Speaker 5 (06:41):
There is something there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, and I think she's coming on because I saw
on Twitter it said like welcome new doc or something
to Grace. I mean, they're totally setting this up for
Amelia to be by or you know, have some sort
of relationship with her.

Speaker 4 (06:55):
Because I agree, you don't think some.

Speaker 5 (06:57):
Mark no, I'm saying, is that bye? Is it straight?
I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
I don't know, but well, because she's been up until
this point, Oh, I don't know if she's ever talked
about her sexuality, but having a relationship with a woman,
I guess I shouldn't assume, ye, but it totally feels
like it's setting up for that because she seems very
much past Link after last night's episode. Yeah, this week's episode.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Yeah, there's two scenes from this week's episode that really
struck me, And the first one was to sit down
between Amelia and Addison and basically how they talked about
what the pandemic, how the pandemic affected each one of them,
and Amelia was basically saying how when she like she crumbled,
she crumbled under it. She didn't like not being able

(07:44):
to leave the house and taking care of the kids
in the domestic life where Link was thriving and wanted
more kids and like loving it, and so she basically
that was kind of like when she realized a marriage
between them wasn't gonna work. And how Addison said she
drank so much red wine during the pandemic that she
thought she was gonna have to check herself in somewhere,
and it just it's interesting to me to see how

(08:05):
the pandemic and the quarantine affected people in such different ways,
you know what I mean, Like people, some people had
really dark moments, some people had moments of clarity, you know,
ups and downs, highs and lows, and so it's kind
of for me it was cool to see the difference
that they had in their time.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
I just Addison being back made me feel like the
whole quality of the show was elevated again.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
I agree. I just love she's like the duchess.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
I yeah, I don't know. There was just something in
her having that relationship with Amelia from Private Practice and
then seeing it again on Gray's and I don't know,
there was just something about it that made me feel
very cozy, like I was home and I found myself
totally smiling at the TV watching Meredith and Scott Speedman

(08:59):
and they just talking like nothing even happened.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
It was a very short exchange a last scene.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Grinning and I'm like, oh, I haven't done that since Darren.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
He touched her hand, did you see that? He was like.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
At the end, yeah, at the.

Speaker 6 (09:13):
Very end, Oh I see, Oh yeah, And I think
it's just because she seems really smittened, Like she doesn't
even say a lot around him, like she almost seems
kind of like shy or something.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
That last scene of the show, I get emotional like
thinking about it. What scene the very last scene with them, Yeah,
because Meredith goes into this monologue and it's all about
how like she's done so much alone, Like she has
done surgeries alone, She's accomplished this alone, She's done all
these things, and.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
I like it, like really.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Resonated with me because I feel like I pride myself
in being, you know, like an independent modern woman, and
I can I'm so surprised at myself at what I've
been able to accomplish on my own, and how strong
I am and all these things.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
And so I'm like really resonating with every isn't it
She's saying?

Speaker 3 (10:00):
And then the last line or whatever when they like
when it's her and Scott Speedman, but she says, there's
there's nothing like feeling like somebody has your back, and
that's where it ends. And I literally like lost it
while I was watching it because it was like I
almost had this like Eureka moment, you know.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
I've expected twist and emotional. No, but I that's so injured.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Yeah, because I was like, it's so weird because I
do still feel like I obviously like I'm independent and
I can do things on my own, and I still
feel that way. But there's something about like knowing that
Red Star has my back, you know what I mean,
Like he has my best interest on her. He's like
working on something for me right now, and like the
trust I have in him to just like I don't know,

(10:47):
it's very like I can't even explain it, like it's
something that I've always wanted and I don't know, Like
I really resonated with Meredith's monologue.

Speaker 4 (10:54):
It was so weird.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Well, it's so true. I mean, I feel like you're
so right what you pride yourself on. I think even
with Red Star is being independent and doing things on
your own and handling things. But I think having someone
even take out of him even help being able to
help you with something for work, but just being there,
like having that safe space and like that person to

(11:18):
go home to or to to comfort you when you
had a bad day fighting all this alone, you know,
I think it really is. It's so valuable and it's
so simple, But it really is such a beautiful thing
to even if it's a friend or someone, just having
someone that has your back that makes you feel like
you're not doing everything alone.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Yeah, struck me beautiful. I really like, I loved it.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
I was like, whoa, And that's what I love about grades,
like when I can actually like, you know, I.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Love when I feel watching Grayce.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yeah, yeah, I felt.

Speaker 5 (11:55):
That's funny how little it takes to get everybody back again.
You bring back an og character and properly cast Meredith's
love interest and we're all in. Yeah. If I can
clarify what I said earlier about Kai and Amelia, what
I mean is I think Kai is a non binary character.
That's the impression I get, And so that's why I
was saying, I'm not sure if that's gay straight by

(12:16):
I'm not sure what that is, and maybe that's time
for us to move past such labels as a society. Yeah,
but I don't think that's just going to be a
gay relationship. I think it'll be more nuanced than that.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah, I didn't want to. I'm sorry I even assumed
what it meant either way, because I said immediately said bye.
But you're right I think it's I just think it's
leading in a direction where there's going to be a relationship,
because even in that call, I felt like this chemistry
there that I feel like Amelia is moving on from Link.
That's the impression I get. Yeah, so I see a

(12:47):
new relationship forming, and I'm excited if it's with the
new doctor, whatever the context is.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
Yes, agreed, Yeah, she's definitely over link. That is yea
that ship has set.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
That the character is a non binary character.

Speaker 5 (13:04):
No, they haven't. I just feel like that's the direction
they're going in.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Okay, well, I'm excited either way. So there is this
BuzzFeed list and it says markament have you read them?
But it says nineteen things every Gray's Anatomy fan is
totally guilty of. And I want to see how many
Tanya and I?

Speaker 5 (13:21):
Okay, great, and.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Then wait and then we have a really exciting guest.
I'm so excited to talk to you because we're getting
to chat with Jenna Johnson Markowsky from Dancing with the Stars,
who is dancing with Jojo see whall this season. So
I'm really excited about it.

Speaker 5 (13:36):
All Right, So this is both of you. How many
which ones you each do.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Of these nineteen Yeah, like, let's count, let's tally all right.

Speaker 5 (13:45):
I got it, tally ready to go all right? Number one,
Forcing your family and friends to watch the show so
you could live vicariously through them.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
Yes, yes, both, yakay.

Speaker 5 (13:54):
Number two. Believing you're basically qualified to give medical advice.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah obviously.

Speaker 5 (13:58):
Yeah. Yeah, after and after many hours of watching grades,
convincing yourself that you could actually do surgery.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
I think I could do a minor Yeah, yeah, I'm not.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
I'm not that delusional. Someone, go ahead and.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
Now, sure, quoting the show on a daily basis.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yes, I don't be on a daily basis, Yeah you do, No,
I don't.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
It's a great day to be alive.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Don't say that every day you don't get on. It's
a great day to save live. So you're not saying
you're right either.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
One three apiece Number five, ripping your face mask off
like the surgeons after an unsuccessful surgery.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Sure, when I leave a store or something.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
At number six, genuinely mourning the character's death, so that's
for sure. Yeah, Number seven, and being equally heartbroken when
a character is written out of the show.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yes, it depends on who, though well, yeah, but still.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
Number eight. You're watching old episodes two of those Number nine.
Overlooking the unrealistic storylines for sure.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Oh yeah, yeah, I overlooked like making it they like feel,
don't feel over Yeah right.

Speaker 5 (15:15):
Falling in love with someone new every.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Season, Yeah, I think Grace does a great job at
bringing someone in and making love them.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
I'm gonna say no for.

Speaker 5 (15:23):
Me, all right.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (15:28):
Taking online quizzes to find out which dream boat you'd
end up with.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
I have done that.

Speaker 4 (15:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (15:34):
Wanting to move to Seattle.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Definitely have gone there, but not recently.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
No, I don't think I ever wanted to move there.
It feels gray, too gray for me.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
Nice pun. Bawling your eyes out after certain scenes.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
Yes, I'm crying just talking about it.

Speaker 5 (15:51):
That's true. Having a international fear of weddings after all
the drama, I.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Got to talk to my therapist. I wonder if this
is where.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
Your fear of marya y interesting.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
They all fail.

Speaker 4 (16:03):
I'm gonna say no for me because no.

Speaker 5 (16:07):
Warming to the idea of hooking up with a colleague.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
I did have a moment where I was like, how
cool would it be to have like an on call
room experience?

Speaker 4 (16:16):
But you're not a doctor.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
But in another life, if I had been a doctor,
that would have been cool. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Yeah, I don't know if the show did that for me,
but I always had I had that itch for a while.

Speaker 5 (16:29):
Yeah. Now you speaking of backstorage room, back in the
cornerback there a kiss?

Speaker 4 (16:34):
Oh right, right right right, right right.

Speaker 5 (16:36):
Right like yeah, reading spoilers on the newest season.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I used to seek out spoilers for Grace. I don't
do it anymore, but I used to be obsessed with it.

Speaker 4 (16:45):
Yeah, I'm not a big spoiler girl.

Speaker 5 (16:47):
Okay. Having a love hate relationship with Shonda Rhyme ye,
taking a while to warm up to new characters, definitely, Yeah,
and finally wanting to find your.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Person obviously, Yeah for sure.

Speaker 5 (17:05):
Well Becca wins. Becca is eighteen of nineteen and Tanya
is only thirteen of nineteen.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Loser, so I don't know, maybe I'm the loser. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
Watch you're pointing that finger, missy.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was exciting. And you know what's funny is like
trying to make someone watch Grays. That's like not into Grays.
Is the real really disappointing situation normally for me because
I feel like they're just like, what is going on?
This is crazy, and I'm like, they have a pole
stuck between them and.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
No, I'm like a sicko that makes people watch it,
and then I'll follow up with them like where are you,
What season are you at? What episode are you at?
Oh my god, Yeah, that's so good. Just wait, Like
I'm that girl.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
I do, Like I do have friends and family who
have been like I'm watching Grace for the first time.
I'm on the blah blah blah episode and I'm like,
oh my gosh. But it's different when you make someone
sit down and watch and they have no context of
any of the characters, and there's like this is madness.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
No.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
I made Red Star's cousins watch it from the beginning,
from this first season, and she's like really, now, she's
really into it.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
She's liking it.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
And so but I had to like stop myself because
I would randomly like text her in the middle of
day and she has like a normal human job where
she has to like, you know, not text all right, yeah,
And she was like I had to stop because I
would just keep asking our questions like, oh my god,
have you seen this yet?

Speaker 4 (18:24):
Da, how do you feel? Do you like him? Oh
my god, you weren't upset by that death, Denny.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
What, Yeah, no one, Yeah, this is upset about that
as you. Okay, we're gonna take a break, and then
we have Jenna in the waiting room and we're gonna
bring her right in. All right, you guys, I am

(18:56):
so excited about our guest today because she is making
history on Dancing with the Stars. We have Jenna Johnson
scrubbing in today in the o R. We're so excited
to have you. Thanks for thanks for taking time. I
know you're so busy right now.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Absolutely of the podcast, so very excited to be here.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
Wait.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
Is it Jenna Johnson or Jenna Johnson Schmikovsky.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Well, it is officially Jenna Johnson Schmerkovsky. And you know what,
that is probably one of the best times I've ever
heard somebody say it on the first try.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Great.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
I'm Serbian, so I really feel like, you know, it's
just in my off the tongue la name beach.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah it makes sense.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
Name.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
I was just like, listen, I'm gonna I'll let Tanya
handle that, or I'll let Jenna happen. I'm from Louisiana.
This is not gonna go overwhelmed.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Well, it's it's funny, you know. I went from a
Johnson my whole life twitch Markowsky and it's just even
my family has a hard time saying my new last name.
So it's hysterical.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah, Johnson is like so easy.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Very typical, very easy.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
You never have that as a kid where they like
looked at your name and they were like, oh.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Never, No, they never struggled with that.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, now I have to like spell it a billion
times for people.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
So I don't even know where to begin with I
So I'm so curious. You're dancing with Jojo Seawhile it's
the first female dancers dancing together, at least in the US.
I don't know if they've done it anywhere else. I mean,
I know in general dancing they do it, but for
like a competition, definitely in America. It's the first time

(20:47):
it's happened. What's the process, Like, did they come to
you and say, like, are you comfortable? Like, what was
the process of you being paired with Jojo?

Speaker 1 (20:59):
So they actually did before the season was happening. They
called me. The executives called me and they were like,
we need to have a zoom with you. And I
was like, oh gosh, I'm getting fired. I didn't know
it was happening. Like a zoom call is never good,
and so I was like, sure, I'll jump on. So
I jumped on and they essentially were like, you know,

(21:21):
we have some really exciting news and we just want
to ask you a question. And I was like, what
you're like, For the first time ever, we're going to
be having a same sex pairing. And for some reason,
my initial thought was, Oh, it's going to be two guys.
So I just thought maybe they're going to ask me
my opinion on like choreography or just what I thought
about it, and I was like, that is amazing. And

(21:44):
then they were like, it's going to be two females
and I was like, oh, I see how this is
going down. And so they just asked me straight up,
you know, like would you be willing to dance with
a girl this season? And immediately I answered yes, And
then I started thinking like, oh my goodness, what did
I just kind of sign myself up for Because I

(22:07):
haven't ever been in this position before. It's never been
done in America, like you said Meacka, but it has
been done in the UK. So I did some research.
I kind of looked up how it went for them,
But honestly, I just I think why I said, yes,
I've done I think this is my eleventh or my

(22:28):
twelfth season on the show, and I've had some amazing
partners just all sorts of a variety, and this is
the first time I felt like I was really going
to be challenged, and so I just I was like,
I love a challenge. I'm super competitive, so I kind
of wanted to prove to myself too that I could
do it. And it has seriously exceeded all of my expectations.

(22:53):
I was really worried about people's reactions, what just what
the overall feeling was gonna be, you know, because it
is something super new and something super scary I think
for a lot of people. But as soon as I
met Jojo, we just like had this natural just friendship
and connection and we both felt so comfortable doing it

(23:15):
that I think it's kind of translated throughout our dances
and has just felt natural for everybody else watching us.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I mean, yeah, it's watching y'all dance is. And maybe
I have tailored my social media and my algorithm to
where I don't get any I don't see as much
ignorance maybe to her, but I all I see is support.
All I see is like this is amazing, Like y'all
crush it, like I haven't seen, you know, Because when

(23:43):
I first.

Speaker 4 (23:43):
Heard about it, I was like, here come the hater.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah. I kind of like rolled my eyes like oh no,
but like I thought it was amazing. I just was
already like anticipating what I was going to see under
the you know, comments and stuff, which is how my
brain works. But it's been so pleasant to see such
a at least from what I'm seeing, a pun a
reaction from people.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, and I told my husband, my husband the night
before the premiere, I was like, you know, I'm I'm
so excited. But because we hadn't announced who the pairings
were yet, they didn't announce them until the first show.
So I told my husband the night before. I was
just like, you know, I'm so excited for this, but
I am really nervous about the backlash and just how
to handle it because the season is already stressful enough.

(24:25):
But you know, it's inevitable you're gonna get haters, You're
gonna get just like toxic people trying to bring you
down when you're doing something great always, and I was
shocked that it was full of love and support. You know,
you get a few of those, just like bad apples,
But like you said, I was blown away at just

(24:46):
how accepting everyone was was of the situation. Who is
it's been really awesome?

Speaker 3 (24:51):
Do you fixate on the bad apples though? Like when
you see the negative ones? Do you just or are
you able to kind of like brush it to the
side and move forward, or does it like get to you?

Speaker 1 (25:03):
You know, I think I've just dealt with haters my
whole life, and this isn't the first time, it's not
the last time. Obviously, I take my work very seriously,
and so when people are commenting about my work, it
affects me because I'm a perfectionist and I always want
to put my best foot forward. I think after meeting
Jojo and just working with her and kind of hearing

(25:27):
some stories that she've had to dealt with, I just
don't even care anymore. They don't even phase me. Just
it's not worth it. It's not worth your energy. You know,
you know what you're putting out and what you're putting
into your project, and so why dwell on the negatives.
If anything, I just want to keep like pushing and
keep proving people wrong. So you know, obviously we're human.

(25:50):
I'm a female as well, Like people are just rude.
But I just think I've been so inspired and so
focused on my work this season that it hasn't really
phased me.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
Yeah, stronger woman than I.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Same I do you know watching the show, you watch
all of you who are the professional dancers, and your job,
like what you do every season is you have this
incredible chemistry and connection with your partner, and it's kind
of like, I guess not acting but maybe a little

(26:23):
not acting, but you're performing, you're putting on a show,
you're dancing together. All this time together, you get to
know each other. And of course every single person is
like anytime you have a partner, whether it's male or female,
they're like they feel like there's this intimate, like this
romantic connection every time because it's kind of what you see,
It's what you see on the Dance War. It's like
kind of when you watch people dance together, you kind

(26:45):
of are creating this like romance in your head. And
I wonder like being in this profession and having your
husband be someone who is also a professional dancer. Do
you even go there or is it kind of like
this is our job. We both do it every season
and we're not not even in our head about it.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
It's funny because you know, there was this whole blow
up on this TikTok just this past week recently about
this similar situation. Because I have amazing chemistry with my
partner and he has amazing chemistry with his partner, and
going into each season, you hope that you're gonna have
amazing chemistry with your partner because honestly, those are the

(27:25):
people that do the best. You want to have a
great energy about you where people watch you and you're like,
why is that magic? Yeah, And you can really tell
the difference between people that get along and people that don't.
And so also, dance is very intimate. It's physical. You're
touching somebody, you know, you're in each other's personal space.

(27:47):
And so I think for the outside eye and for
people that aren't dancers or aren't actors, you know, like
what about actors that have to do makeout scenes? It's
somebody else, you know. And so I think that Valani
to understand our work. And we're so comfortable with it.
I mean, he's seeing me dance with many men many
and I have to you know, like even my partner

(28:09):
last season with me, we just had such a great
bond and such great energy and chemistry together performing. People
were drawn in by our performances, you know, So it's
inevitable for people to like paint narratives. But it's just funny,
I think, you know, And it's not the first time
we've dealt with this. It's not going to be the

(28:30):
last time, and I hope not because that means that
we're doing our job really really well. But you know,
again dealing with haters again. People love to create toxic
narratives and the Ella and I were even talking about
this this week, like we're then really doing our job well,
so sorry, but you know, obviously it's hard, like you

(28:53):
never want your marriage or relationship to be talked about
in that way, really narratives, I mean, but that's the
workplace that we chose, and we know what we signed
up for. So again, it's it's difficult in the moment,
but I guess because we've just had to deal with

(29:13):
this so many times before, and I've watched them also
dance with females my whole life as well. Like I'm
just used to it. So if people are bugged by it,
like that's on them.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
If you were to describe, like just to lay it
all out there when you were if you were to
describe your friendship relationship with Jojo, like what's the dynamic
or is it like big sister? How would you describe it?
Because people see these TikTok montages of just like these
dance moments to a slow song, and they're like, oh
my gosh. But in reality, y'all are just like probably

(29:47):
I don't know if you yell at each other, but
like get to get you know, trying to practice a
dance and learn a dance. It's like, it's.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Really funny because I'm like, did people forget that I'm married?

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, and I'm also straight, you know, like so many
funny things, but it's yeah, it's and obviously she has
like a huge following and big on TikTok, so we've
been giggling about it. But and I'm like a thousand
years older than her. I feel, you know, it's hysterical,

(30:18):
but I do feel she's eighteen and I see just
so much potential in her. I see an eighteen year
old Jenna in her. She reminds me a lot of
myself when I was just tapping into my star. And
there are so many directions that she could go, and

(30:42):
I just want to be the best mentor best partner,
best big sister for her, and I do feel like
we have this amazing like big sister little sister relationship.
She definitely keeps me young and like, oh my gosh,
She'll say some of these things and I'm like, is
this like a trend right now? So I feel really

(31:04):
old when I'm next to her, But I'm so grateful
for this partnership. It's I think it's something that I
really needed. I tend to do very safe things because
I never want to make anybody else feel uncomfortable, you know.
I just I like to like be a safe position always.

(31:25):
And this season has really challenged me to do something
scary and courageous. And I think that she's been somebody
that I can look up to because she was willing
to like put her whole name on the line and
be this face the first time ever, and she just
like wasn't scared, didn't hesitate one time about it. So

(31:47):
I've learned a lot from her. But yeah, I think
she'll be my little sister for life for sure.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Okay, I need to know if you have driven in
the car with her face plastered all around it, because
let me tell you, I don't even know if she
still has that car.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
She still has it, she has it. Have you ridden
in it?

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (32:09):
I have.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
It's pretty insane. I wish you could see the inside
of it. Every seat is a different color, the whole
dashboard is Ryan Stone. It's like beyond. But you're not
even ready. You're not even ready. She has another car
that was wrapped in something else. She called me this
morning and she has had it fully wrapped and I'm

(32:32):
not even going to tell you because I'm sure she's
just going to post about it, but she has had
it custom wrapped. And like Dancing with the Stars situation,
you're ready.

Speaker 5 (32:42):
With the voting it.

Speaker 4 (32:45):
No, I'm sure your face on it.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Both of us. Our team name Mirror Balls Stars Like it's.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
I'm telling you that car makes such a statement.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
So I was I don't know where we were coming
out of, but we were out of ballet and I
was with my boyfriend at the time, and he just
like pop culture. He doesn't know much about anything, so
he didn't really know. I was like, oh my gosh,
that's Jojo Seawaw's car. And he was like, is that
is that the person whose face is.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
On the car? And I was like yeah, and we
got her.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yeah, Like that's that's her that's getting in the car,
Like that's her face.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
On the car.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
And I was just totally you see in the flesh
was truly I felt blessed seeing it.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
So here's the ironic thing, and it's funny how the
universe works. But my husband and I recently just moved, well,
I guess about a year ago, we moved into our
first home, and you know, we were new into the neighborhood,
so we would drive around, but to get to our house,
we would pass this house every single day. And it's
a gorgeous house, had like all these cars in the

(33:47):
front yard in the front like gate area. And one
day we drove past it and I was like, I
think that Jojo Seawaw's car. And then every day we
passed it and I'm like, oh my gosh, our neighbor
is Jojo Seewak. No, so we knew that she was
our neighbor. For like a straight year and then like
a year later, I'm her partner. I'm like in her car.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Now, Like I'm telling you, that's not coincidence. That is
like that is the manifesting thing.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And like she didn't know
we were neighbors. But like I literally I have to
drive next to her house to get to our house
every single day. What are the odds?

Speaker 2 (34:26):
That is why pretty crazy? It was in the stars,
It was in the Stars, the Dancing Stars, Dancing Stars.

(34:49):
I have a question about your marriage because I always
wonder if I were in your position personally. This is
my probably trauma or something things I'm working on in
therapy and I had I don't know that I could
either have a partner who did what you did if
I wasn't doing it as well or flipped like that,

(35:11):
Like do you think you could be with someone who
didn't understand what your job looks like? Because I don't
think people, I mean a lot of it.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
Yeah, so challenging, no chance.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yeah, I think it does make it a lot easier
that we are in the same workspace and we understand
what goes into the show and just what goes into dancing.
I commend my friends who don't have husbands that are
on the show or understand what they're doing, because it
is a lot. You're spending a ton of time together

(35:45):
with somebody, a stranger, you know, Like we said earlier,
you're in an intimate space with somebody you're touching all day.
You're creating this this undeniable friendship that nobody else is
going to understand or get, you know. And so it
is nice that he understands what I have to do

(36:07):
to be successful on the show and in my workplace,
and that I understand as well. And again I'm not
always I'm not saying that it's always easy. I've also
had to work on it and we've built a lot
of trust because of it. Even in general, just working
together with your spouse is a lot, you know, because

(36:27):
you do want that separation as well, like I want
to come home and be able to tell you about
my day or to not talk about work at all.
But we're constantly like just in the same space. So
it is a balance and we've had to figure it
out throughout the years. But again, I think because we

(36:48):
have been on the show together for so long and
we do understand like what it takes to be successful
on the show. So yeah, just having that understand But yet,
and again, I guess I've had some good examples because
there aren't a lot of people in our same position.
But my brother in law and my sister in law

(37:08):
also had to do this together and figure it out,
and so I think they were a great kind of
just role model for us. But yeah, everybody has their
own individual things, and so it's just really being open, honest,
having that very direct communication. I think that leads you

(37:28):
to success in your marriage, but also in your workplace.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
Do you like marriage work?

Speaker 1 (37:39):
I love marriage. I grew up always knowing that I
wanted to get married and be in a happy marriage,
and Val has created my fairy tale. Marriage is hard.
It's not always easy, that's for sure, But you know that,

(37:59):
I'm so glad that we dated for so long before
getting married because we went through all of those ups
and downs. There were no surprises once we got married,
you know. And I feel like if we hadn't gone
through that nitty gritty and spent time exploring each other,
living together, we wouldn't have been ready for marriage. And

(38:21):
so I marriage is everything and more than I expected. Again,
it's a constant work in progress. But I love being
somebody's wifey, Like I have so much pride wearing my engagement.
I'd be like, oh, what was that?

Speaker 4 (38:39):
Yeah, can you say that again.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
I love being like that's my husband, that's my hobby.
So like, there's just like so many things that I
love about it.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
I was talking to my girlfriend the other night or
the other night. She's married, and we were just talking
about the concept of marriage, and she's like, honestly, it's
so weird to think about, Like I sleep in the
same bed as a person for the rest of my life.

Speaker 4 (39:01):
And it's like, when you put it like that, it's
so weird.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Yeah, And it's funny because because of the show and
COVID and everything, there's actually three married couples on Dancing
with the Stars right now, and because of COVID, we
had to do this last season as well. So annoying.
But we all have to live separately for the duration
of the season because we can't get each other sick.
We have to be in our pods. You know. It's psychotic.

(39:28):
And I hated it last season obviously because I had
just gone from like quarantine COVID spending every breathing second
with my husband and I being like, oh, you have
to like live separately for work, and I was like,
what does this mean? But and then we have to
do it this season again. But it's you know, it's
been really nice to miss him, and because I do

(39:52):
have the luxury of sleeping next to my my person
every night, it's been a nice remind and you take
that for granted, you know, and forget what it's like
to sleep alone, and it sucks. So it's been nice
in a very twisted, disturbing way, like I love missing

(40:12):
him and I love missing sleeping next to him, and yeah,
it's it's wild.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
You know what they say, Absence does make the heart
grow fonder.

Speaker 4 (40:24):
And if it doesn't, you should be probably yonder.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
How long did y'all date before you got married?

Speaker 5 (40:34):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Man, we were on and off for a while. And again,
you know relation, I'm sure you know, relationships in the
public are just like everybody wants a peace, everybody wants
to stay in the matter. So we were discreet and
quiet about it. We were like on and off, but
I would say officially we were. We dated for about

(40:56):
five and a half years. And then we got engaged,
like in our in four years and sedating.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
So yeah, on and off countse girl, yeah all together,
Oh for sure, Oh for sure.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Well, I was gonna say because you always hear people
say marriage is hard, you know, like that's kind of
the thing, like it's great, but it's hard. And I
always wonder, like, what's the what's the difference in the
challenge like marriage being hard versus a long term relationship
being hard? Because if you're kind of if you're living
together and spending that much time together not married, what

(41:34):
is what changes in marriage that or is it the
same challenges that make just a relationship hard?

Speaker 1 (41:42):
You know? I guess they are very similar for me.
The difference is and how I've always looked at marriage
is like when you make that commitment to somebody that
is solid and you are working to solidify it, to
cherish it, to help it grow. And again, I feel
like you should have that same intention with relationships, but

(42:03):
I feel like just marriage is very solidifying of that,
and I feel but I don't know. I guess that
Valen I always had that same energy in while dating
and in marriage. But yeah, it takes work, but like
so does everything, you know, Like I always think, if
I'm going to put in the effort, I want to

(42:24):
my body to be in shape that I want to
or to be healthy. Like you have to have that
same sort of mindset going into your relationships. It can't
just be just mediocre or just like lazy about it.
So I don't know, but it's a balance, honestly. Because
also what valin I have had to find out is

(42:45):
we love me time and our personal personal moments whatever
that is. And again, because we do work together, it's
important for us to find those moments of alone and
things that may just us happy.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
So yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
I'm not, but I'm like no expert, well none of us,
nobody is.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
To learn and and yeah I had.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
To work on Yeah. I I also am curious dancing
with a female and she like picks you up and
lifts you. And I mean, y'all are doing everything.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
Rebecca Tilly, all the wires, I just silt.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Yeah you can't water Celsius.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
Oh no, it's fine.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
This is this is. I get lectured on this all
the time.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
No more anything for you ever ever, ever.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
Like my mom, the amount of wires that are plugged
in to this desk, it's like literally, I would be
I'm in I would be embarrassed to show you because
it's like they're not even like done like a pretty way,
you know how, like you like band them up and
put them up, just like they're just all over the place.
And there's like probably like fifty machines on here, and

(44:15):
the Celsias.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
Just dropped.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
It like sprinkled on wires. I am curious, with all
the lifting and flipping and doing all the things that
you normally do with men, do you have the same
trust in Jojo that you do when you dance with
male partners.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
It's funny because when we first met, she had never
really worked out before, she didn't have much muscle. So
starting from day one, and I guess we're about now
eight weeks and two from when we started rehearsing to
the live competition weeks. We started doing push ups and
planks every day. When I met Jojo, she couldn't do
one push up. We are now at thirty five solid, consistent,

(45:04):
strong pushups, and we hold a three minute plank every day.
We don't start our rehearsal until we do. My girl
has lost I'm I'm gonna let her tell the world
how much she's lost and wait, and how much muscle
she has gained. It's insane. She looks so amazing and
she's just you can see she's gotten so confident in

(45:25):
her body, and she really does. She's gotten so much stronger.
And so I do now have more confidence going into
some of these lists, because let's be honest, like, if
we want to compete with the other couples, she's got
to be able to lift me. You know, we've got
to do that. And so I do have way more
trust than I did week one, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
So I need I might need you to train men.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
She keeps laughing, and she keeps saying boot Camp by Jenna,
and I'm like, yeah, let's get it.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
But no, seriously, that was it just push ups and planks?
Is that what y'all focus on?

Speaker 1 (46:00):
That's all we've been doing, I mean, other than like dancing.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Yeah, that book.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Yeah, we were really committed and serious. We don't miss
a day push ups planks and it's insane kind of
how it's transformed your body.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Should we start doing Dennis Vokam?

Speaker 3 (46:16):
Yeah, push ups a day and a three minute plank.
I can't do thirty five probably get it close.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Well, we we started at ten and then we'd work
our way up in like fives or twos, so you know,
just start where you can. But the plank, I'll tell
you what a good way to get through the plank
is play Wicked, Play define gravity. It will take your
mind off of everything.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
Fine, exactly exactly.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
That's what that's what we do. And it just kind
of takes your mind off of everything and you get
through it and then boom, you do a three minute plank.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
Three.

Speaker 3 (46:47):
I mean, we're going to do this together and we're
going to ta Yeah, Yeah, we're gonna do Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
For sure, we'll do progress updates.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Thank you so much for scrubbing in and hey hang
out and answering all of mostly my questions. I was like,
I have so many questions ask I just think it's
amazing and I love that y'all are getting so much
love and support and I mean, absolutely crushing it. And
everyone vote for Jenna and Jojo.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Vote also Jenna's clothing collection at Joe and Jacks dot com.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
Do you want to tell us a little bit about
your clothing line.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yes, I started my first ever dancewear collection. I really
wanted to be. I really wanted people to have access
to hot fears ballroom skirts, but also be able to
provide at leisure for women and kids. So it's both
for kids and for adults. But there's cute French skirts,

(47:44):
there's bros, there's leggings, the whole vibe. So go check
it out at Joe and Jax dot com.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, I'm on the website right now.

Speaker 4 (47:51):
It's so cute, super cute, so cute, and do.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Some shopping and some pushups today. Yeah, kind of point.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Thank you so much for taking the time. We really
really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Thank you, guys.

Speaker 4 (48:03):
Bye bye.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
Okay, first of all, I'm sorry I talked so much
about I just I feel like what they're doing is
so amazing, and I just had so many questions about No,
you know, it's okay.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
You know, sometimes we have guests that we're very excited about.
Sometimes I'll take the lead. Sometimes you take the lead.
And that is what true partnership is. That's what's great
about true partnership.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
You know.

Speaker 4 (48:40):
Yeah, sometimes you're the lead. I'm the caboose. Sometimes I'm
the lead. You're the caboose.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
And I'm sorry for spilling to Celsius.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
So Becca has officially lost her liquid privileges in the studio.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Y'all don't understand how hard I fight to have these
privileges and then I just ruined it for myself.

Speaker 4 (48:57):
So I'm not even only have water. You just better
drink up before we do the podcast.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
I know, my my, my liquids are on the floor
now away for me to or I can't even like
actually reach them, so there's no point. Might as well
as not.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
Yeah, so drink up, buttercup before you come in here.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
It's like it's like your mom who won't let you
eat in the car. You know, That's what it's like.

Speaker 5 (49:22):
It is. But there's a reason that mom's like that,
because we have a new throw rug in our living
room because of a chocolate milk incident last weekend. So
you know, these things need to be regulated sometimes.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
Yes, rules have purpose, and the purpose of the rules
is to keep things orderly. And if now we're not
going to have another disruption in our interviews like we
did with Jenna Johnson Schmerkovski with your Celsius spilling like
an ocean flow over the wires.

Speaker 5 (49:46):
Here is so proud of her pronunciation.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
Anywhere you can.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Yeah, So we're sorry Jenna Johnson Schmierkowski for the interruption
in your interview and for wasting your time.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
We did it. Oh you mean because of the spill bill, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
That was a good two minutes of her time wasted.

Speaker 5 (50:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:04):
Well, we love you, Jenna Johnson. We do love you.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
And to be honest, like, it was a pretty dramatic
reaction from Tanya because it landed on the floor, it
sprinkled on some of the wires, but like, by no
means was it covering the wires.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
So that everybody knows. I can't physically see the wires.
I can just see her drink spill over there, and
it's very adjacent to all like my entire chord with Like,
I'm gonna post a picture that on the Facebook group
just so people are aware.

Speaker 4 (50:32):
I'm not being dramatic.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
It's a lot of wires anyways. So that was a
really fun interview and I like her, like I got
to see us being friends. Should we go over to
maybe hers in JoJo's house and rage in the Jojo?

Speaker 5 (50:50):
No?

Speaker 4 (50:50):
I think first step, So here's how social cues work.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
No, tell me, okay tell me.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Yeah, So first what we have to do is we
have to do her challenge. We'll tag her. We'll do
like the Jenna Johnson Schmerkowski challenge and we'll do push
ups and a plank and we'll tag her and we'll
create some sort of repertoire repertoire between.

Speaker 4 (51:13):
Us and her. Then then we go in.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
For the for the kill, which is and invite ourselves over. Yeah,
we go from tagging to inviting ourselves over for sure. Okay,
that's Tanya tread lightly. Okay, So I do know we
have an email to read and give some advice on.

Speaker 5 (51:37):
So Mark, Oh, thank you so much. Becca. I'd be
happy to chime in with an email from Ashley. I
believe this was the one that didn't get chosen last
week did the Rock Paper. So it's so fun memories,
what a classic moment, all right. I recently just turned
twenty six and my husband will turn twenty nine soon.
We'll be married for six years. We've had nothing but
fun being married, and the conversation of having kids has

(51:59):
come up. We are equally unsure if we want kids.
It's very appealing to both of us to travel, move
to different places and spend our lives together having fun.
But I'm afraid I'll feel a void in my life
if we don't have kids. Help What should we do
to be sure one way or the other and be
confident in our decision. This is tough, just because I
know of people who are sure they don't and are

(52:20):
sure they do. It's tough when you're kind of on
the fence.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Actually, I have some thoughts on this, but actually, Easton,
I feel like you should weigh in because I kind
of feel like we've had this conversation about you and
Alison and where you'll stand on having kids.

Speaker 7 (52:33):
Yeah, you know, I'm trying to think of how to
help Ashley because like we're pretty Allison and I are,
like i'd say eighty percent don't want kids, but there
is there's you know, I think it's impossible to be
one hundred percent sure one way or another. Something we

(52:54):
talk about a lot is Before I say this, I
want to say parents are beautiful and incredible and we
are so grateful for parents.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
I have parents.

Speaker 7 (53:06):
I know we all have parents. They're great, and being
parents to a young child is a trial that I
am not strong enough to do, and I have nothing
but respect for it. But Allison and I will go
out in public and we'll see like struggling with a
young child, and our first reaction is like, oh, good God,
we do not want to be involved in that whatsoever.
So something we talk about a lot is maybe adopting

(53:30):
a child. We talk about that pretty frequently because I
do think it would be enriching to be parents, but
also I don't know. I just don't think. I don't
think it's for us. And I think the way you
figure that out is, I mean, you just imagine the

(53:53):
situation and your first reaction, Like because she says like,
I'll be missing out on something if we if we
don't have kids, I don't feel that way. I truly
don't feel that if we don't have kids will be
missing out on anything. And Alison doesn't either. So what
my advice is to Ashley, I think you just take
a few years and go do those things you want

(54:13):
to do without children, you know, go travel, you know,
move somewhere, do something disruptive to your life, and then
have kids. Because it does sound like she wants them.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
Right and she's twenty six, it's like she could have
another she'd have a baby like fifteen years from now.

Speaker 7 (54:28):
Yeah, I mean yeah, like I'm almost thirty four. I mean,
my life is over, you know, like it's it's done
for real, you know you're done. Yeah, but actually has
some time left on the clock.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Yeah, right, Your spurmes can last till you're like seventy
or something.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
I promise you. If anyone's do research on.

Speaker 4 (54:43):
This, Yeah, it's this girl over yere.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Well, I was gonna say I really relate to this
because actually ninety five PM, I feel very similarly to Ashley,
where it's like that feeling of is that what we want?
And talk about kids. I mean we've been there for
almost four years, like we talk about like but Easton,
I do the same thing when I see like and

(55:08):
I know it's different when it's your child and you
have a different level of patience. But when I see
like a bad kid or like just to struggle, I'm like, God,
I'm glad that's not me. But you know, I'm still
I think in a selfish space in my life where
I want to do what I want to do. I
don't want to have to worry about the responsibility. Like
even sometimes having Phoebe feels like, you know, it's like

(55:29):
I have to find someone to keep her some refertigo
when I travel, and it's like it is a big
responsibility that I don't take lightly. So I totally get
the struggle of wondering will I feel like I missed
out eventually if I don't have kids. So astulely I
relate to you. I don't know that I have any help,
but I think Easton's advice if you can, I mean,
you're twenty six, so I would say, travel, see the world,

(55:51):
do everything you want to do, and revisit this in
a few years and see if you still feel the
same way.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Yeah, my knee jerk reaction was to freeze your embryo
because you're married.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
So twenty six. I think she's like, she has a
few years before she needs this insurance policy.

Speaker 5 (56:07):
Freezing embryo's costs like fifty grand, doesn't it.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
You know, it's actually I don't know how much it costs,
but somebody recently told me. They were like, you should
freeze your eggs, and I was like, I don't want to.
I just don't want to, and she goes, it's insurance policy,
and I was like, well, when you put it.

Speaker 5 (56:24):
That way, I think it's very expensive. And I also
think the the you know, keeping them in storage monthly
is very vis Well, yeah, so I'm not so that's realistic.
I do want to say though, as the parent of
the quartet here, I feel like the most challenging we
were talking to Jenna about wedding, sorry, marriage and relationships being.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Jenna Johnson Schmarkowsky, that's the one.

Speaker 5 (56:48):
I've never found marriage and relationship to be challenging, but
I do find parenting to be challenging, and I find
that parenting makes your relationship challenging. I feel like that's
the hardest part, is the relationship within parenthood. But also
I've also found that those two three year old moments
where they're having temper tantrum in public, those were nothing.

(57:10):
I feel like the real challenging years are kind of
in between. Like my kids are twelve and fifteen th
so we're kind of in a good place now, and
I feel like we're in a good place then. It's
kind of in between. It's when you get into technology
and you get into social dynamics. They're friends and not
bullying in the traditional sense. It's stuff like these two
girls are hanging out without me and posting on the

(57:32):
group chat about it, And now I feel like they're
excluding me, and why are they talking about me? And
those people are laughing at me, And that's that's the
really challenging stuff of being a parent. That's the real
problem area is right in between there. So anyway, I
don't don't let those little kid tantrums deter you from
being a parent. There's plenty of things that can Those
little kid tandems are nothing. Those are over in a

(57:53):
few minutes of no big deal.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Well. Also a team raising a teenager in these times
feels very stressful too. So that's what I'm saying. If
I'm overwhelmed seeing a tantrum from a little three year old,
then what am I gonna do when it's a sixteen
year old screaming their head off at me, right, like.

Speaker 4 (58:11):
Being mean to you?

Speaker 2 (58:11):
Yeah, like what if I get child?

Speaker 5 (58:14):
Yeah, that's you got to really put your ego aside
when you're a parent. And I've not done a great
job of that as a parent, but you need to.
That's the best advice for parents is, uh, remove your
ego from the equation as much as you can.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
Yeah, that's what my therapist told me about because you know,
Red Star has kids, and she was like, you just
have to completely take yourself out of it, because kids
just in general, they're they're gonna go up, they're gonna
go down, They're gonna go up, they're gonna go down.
And that's how their relationship is with their with your parents,
you know, like when you're a kid. I remember when
I was a teenager that have moments where you love
your parents.

Speaker 4 (58:48):
Then there's moments where you hate your parents.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
You know, like everybody has that, but when it's not
your own kid, you get your super sensitive to all
that stuff, you know, because you take everything personal.

Speaker 4 (58:56):
And then I was like, you know what, I'm just
not gonna take anything personal.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
It's hard to do and you.

Speaker 5 (59:01):
Will mess them up, and you will. You have to
realize that going in because we are all messed up
by our parents, as great as they may have been,
and mine were great, but I've got issues from them,
and I'm given issues to my kids, not even.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
Like your parents, Like we all get messed up. Even
like I've discovered through therapy, there was like this one
incident in fifth grade just with my friends at school
that like traumatized me. Like it's still a part of
a lot of like triggers in my life. Now, and
I'm like that one event in fifth grade at school,
you know, had nothing to do with my family, nothing
to do my parents. It was these mean girls at

(59:35):
school and so.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
The apple throwers.

Speaker 4 (59:37):
No, that was high school.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
I was like, so like had such a hard shell
by sophomore in high school, Like they could have thrown
apple and it could have knocked me unconscious and I
would have been fine. I was strong, but fifth grade
I was not the Tanya I was then. So yeah,
I think everything's going to mess them up.

Speaker 4 (59:55):
So yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
My therapist actually said that the other day where she
was like, no matter how amazing your parents are, how
great of the job they did, there's still things that
they did that affect you now, like no matter what.
And I was like, that actually gave me a lot
of comfort and peace, because yeah, it's that pressure of

(01:00:18):
like if you have kids, are they gonna end up
having therapy talking about you? Most likely? Probably so dark
but actually just when I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:00:29):
Real dark, But I think it's very true.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
No, I think it's I've actually found it like relieving
to know that just we're all humans and we're so
complicated and different things affect it, Like what if you
were raised to be so emotionally like your parents were
so emotionally available and sensitive to your feelings, and then
you felt smothered. It's like you can never know, you.

Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Can never do it right.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
Yeah, but like, as a parent, you spend so much
of your time and so much energy parenting these kids
and like like you're charge of their survival for like
a good chunk, you know, until they're capable of doing
stuff on their own, you know, and then all of
a sudden they're adults and they like resent you for things.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
It's like, oh, sounds I like what Mark said, though.
I think that's great advice as a parent to put
your ego aside, because you can do everything right by
what you think is right, and it might not be
right for your kids.

Speaker 5 (01:01:23):
I have many regrets that I'll always have as to
how I've reacted to certain parenting challenges over the years,
and I can trace every one of them just back
to ego. So I wish I'd had that lesson earlier.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Wow, ego is such a hard thing to put to
the side, Like it's so crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
It's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Well, to wrap the email up, Ashley, I say, what
we were about to go on a that could have
been a whole nother app We might need to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Have a whole act putting your ego aside, because that's
something that I'm trying to work on right now too
through therapy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:58):
And it's hard. Yeah, I mean not ego and feelings.
Being a person is hard. Being a person's hard.

Speaker 7 (01:02:06):
The title that episode will be called Lego my ego.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
I'm yeah, I was thinking I go to easton same page. Actually,
I say, you're so fortunate that you're twenty six. You
have time to do everything that you want to do
without the pressure and timing of having a child. And
I think you do all the things you want to do,
live your life, and there might come a time where

(01:02:29):
you feel more certainty either way, and until then, do
your thing enjoying.

Speaker 5 (01:02:36):
Right, Maybe this is stupid. Get a dog, yeah, seriously, honestly, Yeah,
see how that feels. Because that's a real commitment and
a responsibility, and it limits your social life and limits
your traveling. It becomes much more expensive. Like give it
a shot. Yeah, see how that feels.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
It's true.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
And if that seems overwhelming, yeah, try a bunny. No
that's easy, anybody, Well, no, that's not true.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
Hamster plants are very also very hard to keep. The
last yeah, well, in that note, I love when I
say on that. No, no, it has nothing to do
with the note that I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Going to get speak speaking of plants, speaking of how
my plants end up when I try to take care
of him.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
The podcast is over done, dead over.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
We'll continue this conversation next week because I would like
to explore the idea of putting ego and feelings aside
as somebody.

Speaker 4 (01:03:39):
Who has.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
Ego but also very strong feelings.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Yes, yes she does. Okay, sheall didn't know. Tanya feels
a lot, a lot all right, Well, until next time,
we love you, Love you by