October 25, 2022 • 51 mins
A published author has entered the O.R. and it’s our own Tanya Rad! We hear everything about her upcoming book and how a Scrubber helped it all come together.
We HAVE to break down “Midnights” by Taylor Swift, and now that Becca and Tanya have had a few days to digest the lyrics, there are some theories to unpack.
And Becca shares the story of her return to the spot where she and Hayley met for the first time!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya ret An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everybody, We are scrubbing in scrub.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
A dub dub on a Monday with a lot to discuss.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Well, first things first, I'm sitting next to a number
one bestseller in Christian devotionals on Amazon probably all the
other ones too, Tanya run published author.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yeah, how does it feel to tell the world It
was such a weird feeling like I was feeling because
it's been such a long time coming and I've been
working on it for so long that it felt very
like like butterflies.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like nervous, but like excited, like.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
All the things when you release something on social media
these days, like you don't know what the response is
going to be or if you're if people are even
going to see it.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Because of like the hour, like I was supposted photos,
so who knows if people are going to see.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
But it looked I mean, I felt like you got
an overwhelming response to you and raquel Esa.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
It was so and the messages are like. The thing
is the amazing story behind this book is that it
all stemmed from the our Highs and Lows episode we
did I think our twenty it was like the ending
of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Oh yeah, And.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
We were talking about our highs and lows of the year,
and I was saying how my low was that I
spent all this energy and money and effort and time
into this book proposal that didn't go anywhere. And this
amazing scrub sister reached out and was just like, I
believe in you so much.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I want to connect you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
My aunt works for Christian Publishing, you know I want
you to I told her about you, I want to
connect you, and it all it was like such a
god thing because it was like the ghostwriter who was
helping me on my first proposal came back to me
and said, I believe in you so much. I want
to do another proposal with you, pro boto. I really
believe in you so like I was just I was
(02:00):
constantly crying because, like everything when it was happening just
felt very meant to be. And then the partnering where
Kyle had been talking to me about wanting to do
something with like more purpose and encouraging people and something
that people can actually hold on to, and so it
all kind of serendipitously happened at the same time, and
it's been a long time coming. We've been working on
(02:23):
it for a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, almost two years, almost two years.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, So it feels really really good to be able
to talk about it and share it and get excited
about it.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, like it's actually happening.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
It's actually happening, and it's something that I'm so proud
of because it's like it's so representative of who I
am and what I stand for, and it just feels
really good.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Well, I think I speak for all of us when
we say we're very proud of you and adding that
title to your name, amongst so many other things. And
I know, like the whole scrubbing In community is just
like so excited and read to read the words from
both of you and be encouraged. So I'm really you.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And the fact that it's number one Christian devotional on Amazon,
I got to believe the Scrubbers are a big portion
of that for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
For sure. And like the messages I was gett yesterday
from the Scrubbers was.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That of just like you know, we saw you fail,
we saw you fail, but you didn't give up.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
This was something that you really wanted and you kept
going and like it.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I literally was like on and off crying pretty much
all day yesterday. And like Robbie was saying the same thing,
because he was there when I got, you know, the
call like nobody wanted my book, and I was just
like a mess. You know, it's like this this rejection
in such a deep way. And he was like you
didn't let that, you know, you didn't give up. You
kept going, and like you did it again, and like
a lot of people don't do that, and like he
(03:45):
was like saying all these words, and I was just like,
I mean, I was just constantly crying yesterday.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well. And I also feel like if correct me, if
I'm wrong, when you were getting the calls that were
saying like no, it was because like they wanted it
to be something that you were and you weren't willing
to compromise like your truth and who you are for
the guest, you know, which I think is like a
really important lesson for people to remember, like you don't
(04:12):
have to like adjust yourself for anybody to get the guests,
Like it just might be a different time plan.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, And that's the thing to him, Like, look now
that I'm an author, wor not.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Oh god, now that she's an author, I could eventually
at some point do the dating book that I never
got to do, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Like that could come down the line.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
But this definitely feels like meant to be what it
was supposed to be, and it's gonna be fun. The
rollout is going to be fun because there's like some
fun surprises and things. So it's just it's going to
be a fun end of the year.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Oh we're going on a Taylor Swift to Easter Egg journey.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
No, not quite. I'm tired, I know.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I mean, I mean, it was.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Like such a whirlwind of emotions this weekend. Yeah, there
was a lot happen, like we should. So anyways, I
want to uh, I'm going to be obviously sharing more
about the book as it like gets closer, But thank
you guys for all just like the support and love
and words and pre orders and it's like crazy, we
were number two hundred and fifty or something out of
(05:16):
all the books on Amazon this morning.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That is insane. Yeah, and it's not even out.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
It's not even out, so it was really crazy, and
so I just want to say thank you guys.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
That's really cool. We're all so proud of you. Thank
you can't wait. Thank to have it in my hands.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Oh yeah, sign copy obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So, amongst Tanya officially being an author, we were blessed.
We were absolutely blessed by the one and only.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
And don't think it took me like less than twenty
four hours to figure out the the Hi, it's me,
I'm an author.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It's oh I did I saw your scrubbing in boss.
It's funny. Yeah yeah, I mean where do we begin?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Where do we begin?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I wrote, like my top five, and then like why
I love them?
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I wrote in my notes, Well, I had the same
favorite song, which I was surprised at because typically I
listened for hooks and she listens for lyrics. And this time,
for the first time, we sink.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeap dude, those two collided.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's very interesting. Congrats you guys.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
It's very guess Becca knows doos Oh wow, Becca has
like a essay on why the songs are her favorite?
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Okay, great, Yes, Bejeweled was our favorite.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I too love Bejeweled. It's not my top five.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I mean wanting the penthouse of somebody's heart when you're
in the basement in his life is like the most
relatable lyric I have ever felt to my core, but.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Like in such a poetic way. No I would ever
say that, I know, like just describing that feeling.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
But she's a poet, I know, And it's just like,
what are you gonna do? A diamond has to shine,
like we we're gonna shine. So screw you, you little
basement men keeping us in the basement.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Well, I'm gonna start with Labyrinth, which okay, some people
love and then some people are like, I don't get
the hype.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm Robbie Becky. Yeah, Robbie does not get Labyrinth.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Becca's more of like the whimsical tailor, Like Becca really
likes the whimsical romantical tailor, is what I've gathered.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
This was what I wrote about Labyrinth, What's not to Love?
In all caps. It feels like you're ascending into another dimension.
The feelings of heartbreak, wondering if you'll ever get over
that person, that crush that the lyric I'll be getting
over you my whole life, to the feeling of falling
in love again and the fear and the excitement of
(07:50):
falling fast. You would break your back to make me
break a smile. It gives me feelings of nineteen eighty
nine that you're in love.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, which is an one of my favorites.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Interesting. I know, it's so romantic.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's so romantic.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I like the words, but again that's a little whimsical
for me.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Okay, Okay. Whimsicle, Yeah, I like a boppy Okay. So
you like be Jeweled because it's saying.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like hear me roar I of sparkle no matter what.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, but you were in folklore with Jerry Whimsical.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I know.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Interesting, But my favorites in those. My favorites in those
are the more boppier ones like Willow and Invisible String.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah, but I feel like Labyrinth is on that same level.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah. I like Labyrinth, It's just not in my.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Top Okay, okay, so I'll give it to you, Okay,
thank you so much. Midnight Rain, Yeah, you guys, So,
just looking at the list of the titles, I chose
that as the one I was gonna love the most.
I didn't know what it would sound like or anything,
and it sounded so different than what I expected. It's
one of my favorite songs I think I've ever heard
(08:58):
on first listen because it was so different, and I
loved like the random voice coming in at the beginning,
like it starts and you're like, who the heck is that?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
What is that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
And the bop of it, and then I like the
relatability to having someone who is perfect, like has everything
that you want and treat you like perfection, but you're
wanting the pain. You're wanting someone that sparks the challenge
and the passion inside you.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I can't relate to that, okay, but I respect it.
I respect it. I like I like the love, you know,
like I like the steady eddies. I don't need the
like crazy carls.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
But she's like she's like you were wanting a bride
and I was chasing the fame like I was. I
was doing what I needed to do for myself, which
I don't want to be a settle down.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
But you know what, I figured out that this song
was about Taylor Lautner very quickly because I was listening
to the lyrics and I was like, who is she
dating when she was like ascending and like going after
her fame and he was like this really sweet guy
and nothing was wrong with him, like great family, And
I was like, oh, Taylor Lawner.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
This is not confirmed.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
This is agedly, but I felt pretty strong about that theory.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
The internet agrees with me.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, people were trying to say yeah, but I feel
like she was already quite famous. She was no longer
chasing the fame.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
The fame was chasing her.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
We were all chasing her exactly, the fame and us correct.
My next one's anti anti heroo. Okay, this wasn't originally
in my top five. This is what I wrote. This
wasn't originally in my top five, but it's grown on
me exponentially. I love the self awareness and the vulnerability
to a fun beat. It's confusing for the brain, like
you're dancing and it feels playful, but the lyrics are
(10:43):
vulnerable and poetic. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I like this one because it's about her, you know
what I mean. It's self depreciating, which I enjoy.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And the sexy baby lyric Like I it's so random,
but like makes sense, and it's the part I continue.
I'm like, find myself.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Just that's how I feel about the cat purring in
her lap from Karma, Like I keep.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I can't get that visual out of.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Mindse Tania said she wants a cat, just so she
can see what it's like to.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
A cat to her in my lap, so that I
can feel this euphoric feeling Taylor speaks of.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think you have other things in that in that
song that you don't have to commit to the having it.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I've just never experienced it, so I feel like it's
something that I should pursue.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Twenty three.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Okay, my next one's mastermind.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, like we have none of the same favorites.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
So the lyrics in this song and the meaning and
the melody and production, it's chef's kiss. This is another
journey for the mind. Like you're confusing and your upbeat
dancing and then you stop and listen and it's like
mind blowing. The part about being a kid and having
to plan out everything to make sure people like you
and they're pleased with you, and that leading into adulthood
and how you like navigate work and relationships is just
(11:52):
it's it's mastermind. Okay, Okay, she has no no word.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I really that one. I don't understand. Maybe i' give
it a couple more.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Okay. Maroon is just so romantic. I feel like it's
a pre prelude to New Year's Day. Like it was
the night before New Year's Day. Her song on which.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Is another one that's not my favorite. Yeah, it's interestingly good.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I love the course in the melody of that, I said, stunning.
And then my other favorites are Karma, Bejeweled, and Vigilante.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
See that's where my list comes in.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Okay, because Jeweled is like it's just peaued Tanya, like
that song was made for me. Like at that song
I could not get past. I kept listening to it
on repeat. I just love everything about it. Vigilante is
just so different.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
And unique and cool.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
It gives me like Billie Eilish vibes, and the lyrics
are just so gnarly that it like.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It makes me feel a certain way.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yeah. Before I like, before I really listened to the lyrics,
I was like, is this hypothetically about Scooter or Kanye?
Like Kanye, I think more Scooter. I think it is.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Because I see her being friends with his ex wife,
and I don't think she's friends with Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I would love that if they were, though, Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And then Karma. I just love Karma. It's just everything
about it is like pure perfection.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
And then I will tell you what I Shouldakuda is
really sliding in there with a strong it's really good bridge. Yes,
and the thought of like somebody taking her childhood away
and like she wished she would have never danced with
the Devil. I feel like we all have somebody like
from our past that we would just wish we never
had gone there. They like took something from us, you
know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I don't have that, but I think a lot of
people probably do.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, so that song, like, ooh, that one really gets me. Okay,
I switched that out with Lavender Hayes because that was
a top contender.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
But interesting, number one, number one.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Track, number one track, and number four in my heart.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Okay, what are your what are your runner ups? Or
you're just like almost made the top five but didn't it.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
My honorable mentions were, I guess go Lavender Hayes. I
do like Vigilant, No, I do like Labyrinth, Labyrinth. And
there's one other one that I'm forgetting stand by Snow.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
On the Beach.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I really like that one too. Actually Midnight Rain, Oh yeah,
I mean Midnight Rain is an.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Absolutely an anti heroo.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Okay. The thing is that nothing the album is in Paris.
So good.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's it right thereon.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Have you written notes? You know?
Speaker 6 (14:39):
I have. I jotted down some stuff. I love Lavender Hayes, Okay,
it's the song that connected the most of me. I
love Snow on the Beach. I know, Uh, we're really
looking forward to some Lana. We love Lana in this house.
I hope to hear more of her, but it never happened.
But those are the two songs that that I connected
with the most, and I haven't given it as deep
(15:00):
a dive as everybody else has.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
That's fair.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
It is funny because I realized normally, when I like
experienced Taylor albums, I've usually been like by myself. This
is the first time I've been like with Robbie the
like NonStop when it came out, and he was such
a good sport. He was listening to it on repeat
for a while. But you know me, like I like
to listen to the same song over and over and
over and over and over again. He was like, can
we just like switch it up?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
So I had to.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I didn't give it as deep of a dive as
I would have normally, but I definitely gave it like
a good twenty thirty listens.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
What's the song you had to like control yourself the
most from just playing it on full repeat?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Mine's Midnight Rain but jeweled.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Yeah, like with no rules. You have just listened that
on constantly for like twenty.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Fours, just like it's playing in my head right now
as we speak.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It just it it puts me in a headspace that
it tickles my brain or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
It's so funny too, because I feel like everybody, Like
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine
and she was just kind of like complaining.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
She's like what is she gonna get over?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Like stop singing about these relationships she had ten years ago.
And I got so angry because I'm like, these are
her truths, and these are the pillars that have created
her life, and like, these are events that helped shape
her become the woman that she is today, and these
are the span of her life and you can't rob
somebody of those pivotal.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Moments and memories and like inspiration.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I don't think that person gets songwriting because people will
literally like songwriters will be like, okay, like did you
ever have a situation where like this happened, and it's like,
oh yeah, like a long time ago, and then they
like create a whole narrative just based on this like thought.
It's not that like, yeah, she's probably not thinking about
it that much.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Well, I got on my Yeah, I Taylor.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I get it. I get defensive.
Speaker 7 (16:53):
Yeah, but it is crazy because I feel like I
was just watching all the things, like all the theories
coming out, and I don't know, it's just what she's
able to achieve and the like mystery and the mystique
and the intrigue.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I think is just like so cool.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
She's a mastermind. He's like, she is the mastermind. I
did see you remember that time. I was like I
just feel like sometimes like I have a salt where
I'm like, maybe I want to have kids so I
can show them, Taylor.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Swift, that's your thought.
Speaker 6 (17:25):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
And then I'm like around a kid and like a restaurant,
I'm like, okay, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
No, you don't want to have kids to show them,
Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, I don't think I don't need to show them
that much. Yeah, you know there will be other kids
to show niece's nephews, et cetera. Yeah, anyways, she's a genius.
I feel honored to live in the lifetime. Oh you
got a PR box or the box?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I got the box?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Did you get the sweatsuit? Did you open it?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I got the sweatsuit?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Is it not cozy? I haven't I didn't get one.
Haley got it.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
I haven't put it on yet. It's in my car.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Okay, Hailey got it. And it is one of the
softest merch pieces I've ever felt. Of course, she.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Felt very meant for me because I've been like, really.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Just I just wear you love a sweat I love a.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Sweat set, like I live in a sweat set. It's
just kind of become my norm. And so when I
opened the box and saw that it was a sweat set,
I just felt very much like seen and heard yeah
and appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, She's like, you know who would love this set around?
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, yeah, author, author, published author.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
I love it. There's something printed on the top of
the hood because as someone that looks down at a
lot of people, I like something for me to look at.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
So like if you have the hood up very tall
person next to you, they get a little treat too.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah. I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I'm going to wash it up. I'm going to wash
it and put that bad boy right on. You'll be
seeing me in that tomorrow, Well.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I see you tomorrow or just the Instagram story.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Just like in general, popping around town in that sweatsuit
in twenty four hours.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Okay, So we love the album. It's truly close to perfection.
I don't know if there's any anything I'd change. And
then you go to Harry Styles last night for Oh
my God Opening Night. How did Robbie handle you being
in the same room with Harry.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I know, I know, I made my cat brot.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I did a reel about the Harry Show, and I
brought my boyfriend to go watch my boyfriend. And I
can't tell if like, I can't tell if you was
like annoyed by it or not.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I would definitely be annoyed by that. If Haley said
brought my girlfriend to see my girlfriend, I'd be like.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
He plays into the joke, and I think he thinks
it's funny. But then I'm like, sometimes I'm like, I
probably wouldn't appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
He admitted that that's the only time he's ever felt
jealous in y'all's relationship. Only time all the people you
interview see he has no jealousy except for Harry Styles. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Well it was time.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
He was like, it's we need to celebrate, so we
are going to go and we are going to see.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Harry at the Forum.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It was a star sighting there was I saw Hillary
Duff with her family. I saw Jessica Alba with her kids.
Ellen DeGeneres was there, Keenan Thompson was there, Olivia Wilde
was there.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Wow. Yeah, but you know that's a very random group
of sightings.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
But yes, very random, but equally like shocking. Yeah yeah, yeah,
you know, like my star eyes were like, whoa.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, I love that you still get star eyes because
a lot of people in your position would be very
jaded by what you do. You and Easton both it's
very like, I love it. It's one of my favorite things
that y'all get so well.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
The cool thing is about the Harry Show is he's
like in the center and he really does go around
the stage so like and pretty uhu frequently. Yeah, Like
he's not like he hasn't just played at the front.
He plays at the front, he plays the back, he
was side. He moves so much and so you don't
have there's not a bad seat in the house, and
(20:54):
so I just really loved that he helped a girl come
out during the show. I believe her name was Serena,
but it was really cool. He like took somebody's boa
and he was like, when I put this boa over
my head, like you're gonna be out, and so he
was like playing with the boa and like running around
with it, and then he just like lifted up over
his head and everybody started.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Screaming, Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
And then there was another person that I had a
sign that said I'm living my twenties in my sixties,
and I was like, that's so cool. Yeah, and he
was just like, you know, you can live your live
your twenties whenever, you know, just about living your best
life whenever you know, sees the moment and just felt
very like, yeah, I'm an author.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
What was your favorite song? Life?
Speaker 8 (21:39):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I enjoyed Satellite Live because he was really like flying
around the stage.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
That's this, that's like that song. Hearing that live is
only like that's the main reason I'm like dying to
go see it.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah, show, yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And then Cinema was really fun. Robbie's like that's his
new favorite song. He's obsessed with it. So we enjoyed that.
And then I also love to adore you. Yeah, classic, classic,
just like a vibe.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You did a lot. There was a lot happening for
you this week. Let's to a lot of emotions, a
lot of emotions.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yeah, enjoy, thank you so much, You're so welcome. Yeah,
it was a lot of emotions. And then there was
like rain this weekend in La.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
So nothing makes me happier than rain.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
So between the Taylor album and the Harry Show and
the book announcement, I'm on like adrenaline high as you
should be. I'm probably gonna take a nap later because
i was out late for the Harry Show. But it
was worth it because you know whose house it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Is, Harry's.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It's Harry's house. Yeah, fifteen nights.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
It's insane. I don't know how he does it.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Fifteen nights at the Forum.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
They have a huge.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Sign like they do like the lights that say you
know like and they did the lights for other artists,
but they have these huge letters that are on top
of the Forum that say Harry's house.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
And I've never seen that before.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I'm trying to think because we went just last year
he was on his other tour. Yeah it was, It's
only been a year. The man does not rest.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
No, he doesn't need Are you kidding? He doesn't need rest.
That man, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
He might eventually need some rest, but he is good.
He is he the TikTok videos, Like my algorithm has
let me know that I enjoy watching Harry style videos
because I get a lot of them on my for
you page and I stay, I sit and watch and
watch them all.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah it was great.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, it was great. I haven't been, but it sounds great.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I can't wait to almost like, I'm like, I need
to go back again. I'm known, Yeah, let's go. Because
we didn't stay for the encore because I was trying
to be responsible at all for work.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh I know, Okay, we should go and stay for
the encore. Yeah, Haley and I went back to the
place that we met this weekend for the first time
since we met four years ago. I saw you post that,
but I think we should get to that after a break.
Why after we take a break?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Why?
Speaker 8 (23:56):
Okay, fine, okay, we are back after a very a
(24:17):
very long break felt long.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
So Hailey's friend slash old publicist got married and they
rented out No Vacancy, which is like a to get
married no for like an after party. Like they had
the wedding, then they had the reception, and then they
had like an after party where they invited a lot
more people. Got it so smart, so thoughtful.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yeah, I've never heard of that.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Actually I know me neither. So they rented out No Vacancy,
which is where Haley had her Expectations album release party,
which is where we met and we've never been back
since then, and that's where the after party was. So
she was like, you have to, like, let's have a moment.
So let's have a moment. We went and we there
was like these stairs where the DJ booth is. That's
(25:02):
exactly where we met, like where she came up and
introduced herself, and then there was like a little room
with this fireplace and that's where we were talking and
I was trying to set up with my sister, and
we took our first photo together that already looked like
we were a couple. Yeah, it did, and it was
so cool. It also like blew my mind that we
had never gone back until this point. But it was
really it just was like fun to give it feels. Yeah,
(25:25):
I always have the feels like anything better. Yeah, I
always have the feels when I like think about our
relationship and BacT. Last night, so April will be five years.
M hm that is it's been like four and a
half years. So last night I had this thought and
I was we were about to go to sleep, and
I was taking Phoebe out and I had this like weird,
like not anxious feeling, but there was like this feeling
(25:48):
that I felt like sad or something. And I realized
it was because we had had like a fun day
like just we were and like ran errands, and I
was like sad to go to bed, Like I was
like sad that like our time was like ending hanging out.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
I get that feeling sometimes on Monday mornings. Yeah, I
get like are you crying?
Speaker 8 (26:07):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Oh, I was like, wow, I'm really emotional about it.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I get that feeling on Monday mornings because sometimes like
I feel like we have such a good weekend and
I get and I love waking up to him, do
you know what I mean? Like I love waking up
to him and having those mornings and then Monday when
I I leave before he even opens his eyes, and
I get like that emotion too, where I get really sad.
I'm like, oh, I'm not going to wake up to
him this morning. I get really it's weird, Like what
(26:32):
is this feeling? It needs to exit my body right now.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I realize that I feel it often, like especially on
the weekends too, but like last night, was actually able
to put like the reason to the feeling, Like I
was able to like place it, and I was like,
it's such a cute thought like that. It like kind
of shocked me that I felt.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I just had this revelation now right here, right now,
because I thought, he let me tell you, Beca is
turning into Tanya.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
See, I think I'm more I'm way more like in
touch with my emotions, and like I don't think it's
that I've never felt them, It's that I'm learning to
express them more. So, like last night, I had that
thought and instead of just like keeping it and being like,
oh that's nice, I like shared it with Haley and
she was like that is so sweet. She was just
(27:24):
like also shocked to her back. But yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
That's why I do.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
That's why I leave Robbie little notes when I leave
before he wakes up. I leave like a note so
that since he's not waking up with me, he can
like kind of wake up with me.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, like he he wakes up with your words.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Of my wordst. Cetera, et c.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Published as a published author, he gets the words. But
sometimes I do, like I'll write like a funny poem.
Sometimes it's naughty.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Most of the times they're pretty basic.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Like what did today say? Today's was so.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
He's been working, like really hard, he worked throughout the
whole weekend. So today's was a little just more. I
can't wait for this.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Deal to be done.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
You've been putting so much work into it. There's anything
I can do to help you can't wait to kiss
you at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
It's pretty much it.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
That's really sweet.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Today's is basic. But when there is a naughty little limerick,
I do and I do enjoy those.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Well, we'd like to hear those, those would be nice
to him.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yeah, okay, well I don't have them there. I leave
them and then I don't know what he does with them.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
He probably throws them away.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, let's hear a naughty limerick, an original one, but like, yeah, yeah,
so it would be something like, oh no, why do
I feel stressed?
Speaker 6 (28:36):
I regret asking for this.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I'm all like it would be something like, you know,
being away from you for this many hours feels so wrong.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
I'll be daydreaming about your dong or something.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I literally was like, yeah, you did not be in
the first seven. I was like, oh, it's pretty.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
They're not like dirty, they're just like naughty.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You never know. With you, that's the one thing you
always keep us.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Sometimes I'll draw a sketch of sorts.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah, okay, well we don't need to see that.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
We'll leave that before work and s f W.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I don't know. I think that Robbie might be someone
who keeps them, so, you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
He keeps a lot of stuff, Like I saw in
the closet the other day, Like I saw it's a
giant pile of just like.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Every card, every letter, every like there's he keeps a
lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
But I think the daily notes I don't think he
keeps because most of them are just kind of like
ripped out of a notebook paper. But he keeps pretty
much everything that I've written.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
You should get like a little box that he can
just like.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Put I should get him a box. Yeah, that's a
good idea. Tonya box, Tanya box. Yeah, yeah, that's cute. Yeah,
I actually will because they're just kind of thrown in
there and I'm.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Like, oh, you know what I was thinking about today?
I was, I walked here today. It's every like once
a month I'll do like a walk to Tanya's when
I'm trying to like get fit.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And Becca's like early, which is never I'm always.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I'm typically early when I walk. I think because I think.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
You a lot for more time.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yes, yeah, Oh so I was listening to Taylor Swift
and I can't remember which song it was that provoked
this thought, but let me know if y'all resonate with
this at all. I was thinking about how sometimes like
I feel like there's been certain people in my life
where like every if there was like an article about
(30:42):
me or anything, like, they'd send it and be like,
oh my gosh, like I saw you, Like I just
saw this article pop up. That's so cool. And then
if it's anything about like my relationship with Haley, there's
like they don't send anything about it because like they
don't agree or whatever, Okay, okay. So I was thinking
about this, how this isn't specific to like coming out
(31:04):
or anything, but in general, we have people who have
these like expectations for our lives, right, and they celebrate
it as long as it's going in a direction that
they approve of, and then when they don't approve of it,
they stop celebrating you. Right. So the truth is they're
not rooting for you. They're rooting for themselves, right, and
(31:27):
they're expectations of what they see for you. M that's
like crazy, Like that's crazy. I think that's deep.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Hunh beactcause I'm proud of myself.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
No Taylor slips, let me there. But I was just
thinking about how like sometimes we work so hard to
please other people that we forget ourselves and we're like, well,
they were rooting for us, But if they were only
rooting for you.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
To take the path that they want you to.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Take, the path that they wanted, or what they expected
your life to look like, or the choices you made,
whether it's relationships, work anything, they weren't rooting for you.
They were rooting for themselves.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah, so it's a very I hate that.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
I hate what you're saying, though, I hate that there
are people out there that are like, good for her,
good for.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
Her, Oh she's in love. Yeah, I don't agree with that.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I know I hate hate it too.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
And you know that fifty years from now, one hundred
years from now, nobody's gonna care about any of that stuff.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
So just be on the right side of history and
stop caring about that.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Correct, But you know, not even that. It's like even like,
let's say you're you're Let's say somebody really wanted you
to become a dentist, and you were like, they had
their they had a long line of dentists in the family.
And then you were like, you know what, I really
want to be a veterinarian. And you don't become the
veterinarian because that your heart desires, because you want to
(32:42):
just make people happy, that you become the dentist. And
then you're working every day in a job that your
heart does not belong in.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
For someone else, for who. And then you get to
sixty an older age, and you look back and you go,
I had one I had one life to do this,
and I did. I did what someone else wanted.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Becca. I can't even tell you.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
I can't even tell you how much I unders like
I don't personally. It's interesting because I've always kind of
gone against the path in terms of like my parents
were never really I mean, it was you know, they're serbian.
It's like, you know, doctor lawyer, that's like the path.
I was never going down that path, and I don't
think they ever expected me to. But there was never
(33:33):
that that when I told them what I wanted to do.
There was never that disappointment in their voices, do you
know what I mean? It was always just like okay,
maybe they didn't understand it at the time. There was
never like disappointment, you know what I mean. It was
always just like okay, like that's great, Like how can
I learn more?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Like I never had that in certain ways. But I
see so many people that have done certain things in
their life, like married a specific person that was like
a family friend that that was just like the safe
choice and ended up you know, getting divorced later on,
or you know, just like things that they knew in
their heart wasn't for them, but they were just doing
(34:08):
what their family had told.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Them to do.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
And it really leads to this life of just I
don't want to say, feeling unfulfilled.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
But there is that sense of just like what am
I doing this for? Mm hm?
Speaker 3 (34:21):
And like if you compound that into decades and decades
and decades, you wake up one day and you're just like,
what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
And I also think that when you're doing things for
other people your whole life, like when that's just like
the structure that you live in, you don't even you
might not even realize that you've just done it for
everybody else until you do something that they're not proud
of or that they're not like, that they don't agree with. Yeah,
and that's when you really you have to make that
decision like am I doing this for them? Or am
(34:50):
I living life for them or for me? And yeah,
it's pretty I mean, I think we see it all
the time with people, whether it's personal or not.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, So anyways, I had an epiphany.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
That epiphany is a strong one that I think I
think a lot of people can relate to.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
We'll leave you with that for our next break and
we'll come back with emails. All right, I hope you
had a nice long break pondering. Our last was some good.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Stuff, Becca, That was some good stuff right there.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
You can lave your twenties in your sixties.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
If Harry Styles Concert taught me anything, it's that. I
love that live in my twenties and my sixties.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
You go, girl. I can't remember if it was a
guy or girl.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
It is funny though, because I think as we continue
to get older, there's that thought like I used to
see like older people who were like having fun and
being like what, like you're still lowed to like have
fun when you're that age, like you know, and and
when you grow up in a certain culture, it's like
they need to act their age, you know, like they're
(36:09):
too old for that. You're not. You're really not like we,
I think as a society put limitations on things because
of age, and we got to stop doing that.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I'm not here for it.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Live your twenties and your sixties if you want.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
There's actually chapter of my book about that.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
I can't wait to read it.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
About like the people who.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
I don't want to say like they're claim to fame,
but like they got well known and later on in life,
you know, it's like you don't have to do everything
by twenty Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
I love Tom Bergeron's the guy I think of Tom
Bergeron finally made it big on like Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
I think he was in his fifties.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Yeah, like Bara Wang, and there's like all these different
people in their forties fifties.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Yeah, it's like, you know what, it's okay if you
don't do it by twenty five. Yeah, just to say
you need to do by thirty.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah. This is gonna be a short conversation because I
didn't finish the episode. But Gray's anatomy this week? Do
we have thought? Oh? Yes, oh you see Tanya. Well,
I got through, like almost to the end, and I
was just kind of like.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
It wasn't as strong as the first two for sure, Yeah,
but it is still better than what we've been getting.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
I was very happy with it.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
My sister texts me and goes, why does why do
we continue to have to watch Owen have sex scenes?
Speaker 5 (37:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Although I will say I thought he looked good this episode.
He got a fresh haircut, He looked like more put
together than he's looked recently, which I appreciated.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I need the interns having more sex.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Okay, So the what's his name? I know him as Harry.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Show I know, I say Harry Seman and easy girl,
I say eazy girl.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
We're still learning names, but I literally there was a
moment before they had sex where I was like, they're
gonna hook up. It's gonna be like Alex.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
And then Harry Shum has this aura. He has this
aura about him that's just like.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Sexual, a sexual aura. Yeah, so we have him on
the show. We should try and get him on the show.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
We should.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Okay, it's like you can cut the tension when he's
around with like a knife.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I think they're making him out to be the new Korev.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yes, doctor Kwan, doctor Daniel Kwan.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
And then we and I did enjoy the conversation between
Meredith and Griffith, whose grandma has Alzheimer's, because I obviously
those parallel lines. And first of all, I will have
to acknowledge that Meredith Gray has had the best hair
since season one and it just continues to look fantastic.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Yeah, she's looking good this season.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
She's looking great. Not that that's what it's about, but
she looks great.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
And then we did get insight into what's the other
interns name that we missed lost?
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Right, oh oh oh oh, Yesuda ya Suda.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
She said that she doesn't sleep with men. She's like,
I only sleep with women. So that was some personal
information that we hadn't heard before.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Anything else.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Wait, I literally can I just tell you that I
actually wanted to watch Gray's Anatomy on Thursday night when
it was live on television, which I have wanted to
do in a very long time. Unfortunately, I did not
watch it because of Taylor.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Here's what I know. I'm always surprised when it's already over.
I'm like, well, that was it that flew by.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
That's saying a lot, because.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I think that says a lot because in the past
it's been a bit of a sloge with it.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
Now I'm like, oh my gosh, it's over already. Can
you believe it?
Speaker 1 (39:46):
And then the Zola being a genius of it all.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
That's interesting and that's going to be an interesting plotline
to follow.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Well, at first I was just like rolling my eyes
because I'm like, of course, like her parents are geniuses.
But now I forgot about the panic attack and how
the two could like coincide, and it's something deeper than that,
and like, actually very interesting to learn about. So I'm
enjoying that.
Speaker 5 (40:13):
Doctor Marsha's all those interactions. I like it.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Yeah, all right, great, we're still in the up and
up on. Shall we get into emails?
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, your front doorbell and.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
That's probably a delivery kind of thank you.
Speaker 5 (40:30):
I just started listening. Well, welcome. That is great.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
You know, we've so many scrubbers have been here for years,
and we're always happy to add to the to the group.
I'd love some advice from the cast. When I first
started dating my fiance, I told them I'd been in
multiple relationships. I told them this because they told me
they had been in numerous relationships as well. We were
long distance, and they're meeting my family for the first time.
(40:53):
I'm nervous that my family members will say something like, ah,
it's sure great to meet her first boyfriend, for example,
I haven't told him that I really haven't been with
a lot in a lot of relationships. I asked my
therapist for advice. She told me not to tell them
and smile if anyone says anything, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Can we get a summary? So she told her current
partner that she's been with a lot of people, had
a lot of relationships, A lot of relationships.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Yes she has, which is not true. Oh and now
this partner, who I believe she were first, who has
her boyfriend? Yeah, I was meeting the family for the
first time, and she's worried some of the family's going
to mention him being the first boyfriend and that's going
to be a problem. So how does she handle this?
Does she warn her family not to say anything? Does
she tell the boyfriend? Okay, look, I haven't been in
a lot of relationships?
Speaker 5 (41:39):
What does she do?
Speaker 1 (41:41):
See I read this. This is so fascinating. I read
this differently, as in, she only told her boyfriend that
this is her first, that this isn't her first relationship,
but her family doesn't know she's been in multiple relationships.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
No, I think Mark has it right, because that's how
I read it.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Do you get what I'm saying, Mark?
Speaker 5 (42:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (42:04):
I think, Yes, I see what you're saying, and so
I'm reading it over again. No, I think she I
think she lied to her partner fiance. I think she
lied to her fiance and said I've been in many
relationships just like you, and that isn't true, and now
she feels guilty about it and isn't sure what to do.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I'm going to give some advice that you might not
want to hear.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Uh Oh, the truth will set thy free.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
I agree, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
I mean, the fact that he's your fiance and you've
kept the shared up for this long is a little
bit sketch.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
But I just think it's it's not that big of.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
A deal that you haven't had a lot of serious relationships.
Like it's to me, that's not a big deal at all.
So I feel like you should just come clean and
just say I was feeling insecure at the beginning of
our relationship, and that's why I said it. I'm really sorry.
Lying's not great, But I just think, don't put your family,
don't make your family lie, like, don't just like, don't
(43:07):
add to it, you know what I mean, Because eventually
it is going to come out and he's just gonna
be like, why have you been lying this whole time?
Speaker 2 (43:15):
When my start compounding it's not great.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
I just like, part of me is like, y'all are fiance,
So this feels very This to me feels very insignificant
because it's like, hey, when we first started dating, I
got so nervous because you had been in multi relationships
and I said the same. But that's not true. Like
I'm really excited for my family to meet you and
(43:38):
and just keep it casual. I mean, I don't think
it's up, but he loves you like he.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Although I don't know why the therapist is telling you
not to tell questionable question. I wonder, I wonder if
we have if she the therapist is information we don't have.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Maybe very possible since we have one paragraph to base all.
Speaker 8 (43:58):
This off of.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Right, All right, well, this one's anonymous, she says, I'll
try to keep this short. How would you both feel
if one of you were invited to the other surprise
engagement and you found out later they didn't show up
because they went to a casual dinner instead.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
He pissed.
Speaker 4 (44:13):
My childhood best friend got engaged the day before me.
Speaker 5 (44:17):
Crazy.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
I know both her and her new fiance were invited
to my engagement by my fiance a couple of weeks prior. Surprise,
everyone's here. Well, my friend told my fiance she would
try to make it, but ultimately didn't show up because
of a casual dinner. She texted me, asking you about the
details of my engagement but I didn't even get a
phone call. I know it sounds silly, but I was
(44:37):
thrilled when she got engaged, even though her now fiance
put her through hell at one point. I needed every
detail because I knew she was happy. I feel like
that is how any best friend would feel and act. Also,
I found out she got engaged hours after it happened
on Instagram. It was just one of those moments of
me feeling that I may consider her my best friend,
but does she not consider me?
Speaker 5 (44:58):
Hers?
Speaker 4 (44:58):
Am I crazy for having the feelings and being hurt
by this? I let it go, but I do think
about it still, and I'm just more careful now about
who I choose to spend my time with and who
I consider a best friend.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Listen, I don't I identify as a BECA. I mean
I identify as a BECA and I would be devastated
by this because finding out something this significant on Instagram
is like, I feel like those are the last people
to know, right, Yeah, Like if Tanya didn't at least
(45:34):
have me in her like top five people that she
facetimed with the Ring like in like this, right, I really.
Speaker 5 (45:40):
Lyric Taylor Lyric Top five Taylor Lyric Top five.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Yeah, I'd be like I would be thinking about not
like oh, where does our relationship stand? But just like, huh,
I I totally have that wrong the whole time, whole friendship.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
I get engaged, I post pictures and I don't tell
you like that just is not even a thing.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
The way I would have to just grip my teeth
and be like, M so happy for you. She must
have been so overwhelmed that she forgot.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I'd be so pissed.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yes, And I think that obviously there's some things that
like we prioritize, like some things that might mean more
to one person than the other person. But I think
an engagement is like pretty equal, like people realize the
significance of it. So like even when I first kissed Hailey,
(46:35):
like I think Tanya was like definitely one of the
first two people I called, yeah, if not the first
and told her So I think it's just like I
think your feelings being hurt is so valid. And I
don't know if you have a conversation or just kind
of maybe accept like yeah, maybe you put more value
and effort into the friendship.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Or you can just yeah, like I would say say
that you're you can express your feelings, my feelings or hurt.
I thought we were better friends than that, and just
like kind of leave it and just take that as
take this as an example of kind of where your
friendship stands, you know what I mean, Maybe you don't
put that as much effort in.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Yeah, I think, like I also agree expressing your feelings
not just like bearing them in and being like, Okay,
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna like be a burden
by expressing my feelings. It's her time. But I think
being able to say, like, hey, it really hurt my
feelings that you weren't a part of this day and
and for like a casual dinner, you know, I think
that's fair, and then she can however she reacts, is
(47:34):
we'll be telling.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
I would just add that she answered her own question
here in her last line when she said, I'm just
being more careful too, I spend my time with and
who I can hit her best friend. Yeah, that's our advice.
Do that, be more careful. And you're not her best
friend and that sucks, but yeah, it's good that you know,
and you can move on and get a better one.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I also think sometimes like the childhood best friend thing
is hard because like from a child to adult, you
change so much, who you are, your interests, what.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
You make, seasons of life too.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
You know. It's interesting because like when I was in college,
I had like my best group of girlfriends, and then
when after graduated, they all got married and had babies,
and I was just in such a different life stage
and season and so it's like, excuse me, there is
something to that where like life stages, yeah, making people
(48:26):
further through further from other people, but like it can
still all be good. It doesn't have to be bad,
Like there's not to be bad blood or you know
what I mean, any sort of negativity. It's just like,
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
And I think it's like where, okay, where am I
putting my effort into with this friendship still? So I'm
sorry that sucks. My congratulations on your engagement.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Congratulations, We're very happy for so happy for you.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
All Right, that'll wrap her up with the bow tie.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Wraps her up. She still gotta shine, Isn't it crazy?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
In a few months, I'm going to be holding a
book that you wrote, like a hardcover book with your
name on the front.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yes, it's so wild.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Oh, Tanya, I mentioned you mentioned what you learned writing
this book and how much respect you have for actual novelists.
Speaker 5 (49:15):
Now I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
I have so much respect for people that write like
chapter books, you know what I mean, Like a chapter
book that has a beginning, middle, end, and the chapters
all come together to create some cohesive story. Because a
devotional is very bite sized, you know, it's one hundred days.
Every day is a different scripture, a different interpretation, a
different story. It's very bite sized, digestible. And also you know.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
It was it was just so interesting, Like I was like,
this is so wild. I have so much respect.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
If anybody that I ever admire or respect in this
industry writes a book, I'm going to read it because
I know how much effort it took, you know what
I mean, how much effort. And so now I'm going
to be like that girl. I'm going to be like
book girl. I've got a book, I kind of book.
Send it to Tanya.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
But I do think there's like I know what you're saying,
but to give you credit like coming up like interpreting
a small passage and making a whole book of those
types of things is also a lot of like mental
work and.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Time because we didn't want everything. We didn't want to
be super redundant.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
You know.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
We got to a point where we were like.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
We're kind of saying the same thing, and we didn't
want it to be that, so we really had to
kind of like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
That's what I'm saying, and then like a novelist, so
you can kind of take the story wherever you want
it to, Like, any idea is not too crazy because
you're writing a book, you know, so everything. Everyone has
their gifts and talents and their lanes, and right now
yours is this one. Might be might be a fiction
novelist one day too. We don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
Hey, hi, I'm the author.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
It's me.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
Oh yeah, me, Hi, I'm the author.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
You should do bye, because now we're saying for the all, yeah,
we're ending the podcast. Bye.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
Wait, how's it go again?
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Bye? Bye? It's me.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
It's me. I'm the author.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
It's me.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
We love you, I love you.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Bye.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya ret An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everybody, We are scrubbing in scrub.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
A dub dub on a Monday with a lot to discuss.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Well, first things first, I'm sitting next to a number
one bestseller in Christian devotionals on Amazon probably all the
other ones too, Tanya run published author.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yeah, how does it feel to tell the world It
was such a weird feeling like I was feeling because
it's been such a long time coming and I've been
working on it for so long that it felt very
like like butterflies.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like nervous, but like excited, like.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
All the things when you release something on social media
these days, like you don't know what the response is
going to be or if you're if people are even
going to see it.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Because of like the hour, like I was supposted photos,
so who knows if people are going to see.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
But it looked I mean, I felt like you got
an overwhelming response to you and raquel Esa.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
It was so and the messages are like. The thing
is the amazing story behind this book is that it
all stemmed from the our Highs and Lows episode we
did I think our twenty it was like the ending
of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Oh yeah, And.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
We were talking about our highs and lows of the year,
and I was saying how my low was that I
spent all this energy and money and effort and time
into this book proposal that didn't go anywhere. And this
amazing scrub sister reached out and was just like, I
believe in you so much.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I want to connect you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
My aunt works for Christian Publishing, you know I want
you to I told her about you, I want to
connect you, and it all it was like such a
god thing because it was like the ghostwriter who was
helping me on my first proposal came back to me
and said, I believe in you so much. I want
to do another proposal with you, pro boto. I really
believe in you so like I was just I was
(02:00):
constantly crying because, like everything when it was happening just
felt very meant to be. And then the partnering where
Kyle had been talking to me about wanting to do
something with like more purpose and encouraging people and something
that people can actually hold on to, and so it
all kind of serendipitously happened at the same time, and
it's been a long time coming. We've been working on
(02:23):
it for a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, almost two years, almost two years.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, So it feels really really good to be able
to talk about it and share it and get excited
about it.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, like it's actually happening.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
It's actually happening, and it's something that I'm so proud
of because it's like it's so representative of who I
am and what I stand for, and it just feels
really good.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Well, I think I speak for all of us when
we say we're very proud of you and adding that
title to your name, amongst so many other things. And
I know, like the whole scrubbing In community is just
like so excited and read to read the words from
both of you and be encouraged. So I'm really you.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And the fact that it's number one Christian devotional on Amazon,
I got to believe the Scrubbers are a big portion
of that for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
For sure. And like the messages I was gett yesterday
from the Scrubbers was.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That of just like you know, we saw you fail,
we saw you fail, but you didn't give up.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
This was something that you really wanted and you kept
going and like it.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I literally was like on and off crying pretty much
all day yesterday. And like Robbie was saying the same thing,
because he was there when I got, you know, the
call like nobody wanted my book, and I was just
like a mess. You know, it's like this this rejection
in such a deep way. And he was like you
didn't let that, you know, you didn't give up. You
kept going, and like you did it again, and like
a lot of people don't do that, and like he
(03:45):
was like saying all these words, and I was just like,
I mean, I was just constantly crying yesterday.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well. And I also feel like if correct me, if
I'm wrong, when you were getting the calls that were
saying like no, it was because like they wanted it
to be something that you were and you weren't willing
to compromise like your truth and who you are for
the guest, you know, which I think is like a
really important lesson for people to remember, like you don't
(04:12):
have to like adjust yourself for anybody to get the guests,
Like it just might be a different time plan.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, And that's the thing to him, Like, look now
that I'm an author, wor not.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Oh god, now that she's an author, I could eventually
at some point do the dating book that I never
got to do, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Like that could come down the line.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
But this definitely feels like meant to be what it
was supposed to be, and it's gonna be fun. The
rollout is going to be fun because there's like some
fun surprises and things. So it's just it's going to
be a fun end of the year.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Oh we're going on a Taylor Swift to Easter Egg journey.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
No, not quite. I'm tired, I know.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I mean, I mean, it was.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Like such a whirlwind of emotions this weekend. Yeah, there
was a lot happen, like we should. So anyways, I
want to uh, I'm going to be obviously sharing more
about the book as it like gets closer, But thank
you guys for all just like the support and love
and words and pre orders and it's like crazy, we
were number two hundred and fifty or something out of
(05:16):
all the books on Amazon this morning.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That is insane. Yeah, and it's not even out.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
It's not even out, so it was really crazy, and
so I just want to say thank you guys.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
That's really cool. We're all so proud of you. Thank
you can't wait. Thank to have it in my hands.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Oh yeah, sign copy obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So, amongst Tanya officially being an author, we were blessed.
We were absolutely blessed by the one and only.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
And don't think it took me like less than twenty
four hours to figure out the the Hi, it's me,
I'm an author.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It's oh I did I saw your scrubbing in boss.
It's funny. Yeah yeah, I mean where do we begin?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Where do we begin?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I wrote, like my top five, and then like why
I love them?
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I wrote in my notes, Well, I had the same
favorite song, which I was surprised at because typically I
listened for hooks and she listens for lyrics. And this time,
for the first time, we sink.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeap dude, those two collided.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's very interesting. Congrats you guys.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
It's very guess Becca knows doos Oh wow, Becca has
like a essay on why the songs are her favorite?
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Okay, great, Yes, Bejeweled was our favorite.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I too love Bejeweled. It's not my top five.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I mean wanting the penthouse of somebody's heart when you're
in the basement in his life is like the most
relatable lyric I have ever felt to my core, but.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Like in such a poetic way. No I would ever
say that, I know, like just describing that feeling.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
But she's a poet, I know, And it's just like,
what are you gonna do? A diamond has to shine,
like we we're gonna shine. So screw you, you little
basement men keeping us in the basement.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Well, I'm gonna start with Labyrinth, which okay, some people
love and then some people are like, I don't get
the hype.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm Robbie Becky. Yeah, Robbie does not get Labyrinth.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Becca's more of like the whimsical tailor, Like Becca really
likes the whimsical romantical tailor, is what I've gathered.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
This was what I wrote about Labyrinth, What's not to Love?
In all caps. It feels like you're ascending into another dimension.
The feelings of heartbreak, wondering if you'll ever get over
that person, that crush that the lyric I'll be getting
over you my whole life, to the feeling of falling
in love again and the fear and the excitement of
(07:50):
falling fast. You would break your back to make me
break a smile. It gives me feelings of nineteen eighty
nine that you're in love.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, which is an one of my favorites.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Interesting. I know, it's so romantic.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's so romantic.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I like the words, but again that's a little whimsical
for me.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Okay, Okay. Whimsicle, Yeah, I like a boppy Okay. So
you like be Jeweled because it's saying.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like hear me roar I of sparkle no matter what.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, but you were in folklore with Jerry Whimsical.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I know.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Interesting, But my favorites in those. My favorites in those
are the more boppier ones like Willow and Invisible String.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah, but I feel like Labyrinth is on that same level.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah. I like Labyrinth, It's just not in my.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Top Okay, okay, so I'll give it to you, Okay,
thank you so much. Midnight Rain, Yeah, you guys, So,
just looking at the list of the titles, I chose
that as the one I was gonna love the most.
I didn't know what it would sound like or anything,
and it sounded so different than what I expected. It's
one of my favorite songs I think I've ever heard
(08:58):
on first listen because it was so different, and I
loved like the random voice coming in at the beginning,
like it starts and you're like, who the heck is that?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
What is that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
And the bop of it, and then I like the
relatability to having someone who is perfect, like has everything
that you want and treat you like perfection, but you're
wanting the pain. You're wanting someone that sparks the challenge
and the passion inside you.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I can't relate to that, okay, but I respect it.
I respect it. I like I like the love, you know,
like I like the steady eddies. I don't need the
like crazy carls.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
But she's like she's like you were wanting a bride
and I was chasing the fame like I was. I
was doing what I needed to do for myself, which
I don't want to be a settle down.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
But you know what, I figured out that this song
was about Taylor Lautner very quickly because I was listening
to the lyrics and I was like, who is she
dating when she was like ascending and like going after
her fame and he was like this really sweet guy
and nothing was wrong with him, like great family, And
I was like, oh, Taylor Lawner.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
This is not confirmed.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
This is agedly, but I felt pretty strong about that theory.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
The internet agrees with me.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, people were trying to say yeah, but I feel
like she was already quite famous. She was no longer
chasing the fame.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
The fame was chasing her.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
We were all chasing her exactly, the fame and us correct.
My next one's anti anti heroo. Okay, this wasn't originally
in my top five. This is what I wrote. This
wasn't originally in my top five, but it's grown on
me exponentially. I love the self awareness and the vulnerability
to a fun beat. It's confusing for the brain, like
you're dancing and it feels playful, but the lyrics are
(10:43):
vulnerable and poetic. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I like this one because it's about her, you know
what I mean. It's self depreciating, which I enjoy.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And the sexy baby lyric Like I it's so random,
but like makes sense, and it's the part I continue.
I'm like, find myself.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Just that's how I feel about the cat purring in
her lap from Karma, Like I keep.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I can't get that visual out of.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Mindse Tania said she wants a cat, just so she
can see what it's like to.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
A cat to her in my lap, so that I
can feel this euphoric feeling Taylor speaks of.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I think you have other things in that in that
song that you don't have to commit to the having it.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I've just never experienced it, so I feel like it's
something that I should pursue.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Twenty three.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Okay, my next one's mastermind.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, like we have none of the same favorites.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
So the lyrics in this song and the meaning and
the melody and production, it's chef's kiss. This is another
journey for the mind. Like you're confusing and your upbeat
dancing and then you stop and listen and it's like
mind blowing. The part about being a kid and having
to plan out everything to make sure people like you
and they're pleased with you, and that leading into adulthood
and how you like navigate work and relationships is just
(11:52):
it's it's mastermind. Okay, Okay, she has no no word.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I really that one. I don't understand. Maybe i' give
it a couple more.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Okay. Maroon is just so romantic. I feel like it's
a pre prelude to New Year's Day. Like it was
the night before New Year's Day. Her song on which.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Is another one that's not my favorite. Yeah, it's interestingly good.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I love the course in the melody of that, I said, stunning.
And then my other favorites are Karma, Bejeweled, and Vigilante.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
See that's where my list comes in.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Okay, because Jeweled is like it's just peaued Tanya, like
that song was made for me. Like at that song
I could not get past. I kept listening to it
on repeat. I just love everything about it. Vigilante is
just so different.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
And unique and cool.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
It gives me like Billie Eilish vibes, and the lyrics
are just so gnarly that it like.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It makes me feel a certain way.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yeah. Before I like, before I really listened to the lyrics,
I was like, is this hypothetically about Scooter or Kanye?
Like Kanye, I think more Scooter. I think it is.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Because I see her being friends with his ex wife,
and I don't think she's friends with Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I would love that if they were, though, Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And then Karma. I just love Karma. It's just everything
about it is like pure perfection.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
And then I will tell you what I Shouldakuda is
really sliding in there with a strong it's really good bridge. Yes,
and the thought of like somebody taking her childhood away
and like she wished she would have never danced with
the Devil. I feel like we all have somebody like
from our past that we would just wish we never
had gone there. They like took something from us, you
know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I don't have that, but I think a lot of
people probably do.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah, so that song, like, ooh, that one really gets me. Okay,
I switched that out with Lavender Hayes because that was
a top contender.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
But interesting, number one, number one.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Track, number one track, and number four in my heart.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Okay, what are your what are your runner ups? Or
you're just like almost made the top five but didn't it.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
My honorable mentions were, I guess go Lavender Hayes. I
do like Vigilant, No, I do like Labyrinth, Labyrinth. And
there's one other one that I'm forgetting stand by Snow.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
On the Beach.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I really like that one too. Actually Midnight Rain, Oh yeah,
I mean Midnight Rain is an.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Absolutely an anti heroo.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Okay. The thing is that nothing the album is in Paris.
So good.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's it right thereon.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Have you written notes? You know?
Speaker 6 (14:39):
I have. I jotted down some stuff. I love Lavender Hayes, Okay,
it's the song that connected the most of me. I
love Snow on the Beach. I know, Uh, we're really
looking forward to some Lana. We love Lana in this house.
I hope to hear more of her, but it never happened.
But those are the two songs that that I connected
with the most, and I haven't given it as deep
(15:00):
a dive as everybody else has.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
That's fair.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
It is funny because I realized normally, when I like
experienced Taylor albums, I've usually been like by myself. This
is the first time I've been like with Robbie the
like NonStop when it came out, and he was such
a good sport. He was listening to it on repeat
for a while. But you know me, like I like
to listen to the same song over and over and
over and over and over again. He was like, can
we just like switch it up?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
So I had to.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I didn't give it as deep of a dive as
I would have normally, but I definitely gave it like
a good twenty thirty listens.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
What's the song you had to like control yourself the
most from just playing it on full repeat?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Mine's Midnight Rain but jeweled.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Yeah, like with no rules. You have just listened that
on constantly for like twenty.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Fours, just like it's playing in my head right now
as we speak.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It just it it puts me in a headspace that
it tickles my brain or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
It's so funny too, because I feel like everybody, Like
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine
and she was just kind of like complaining.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
She's like what is she gonna get over?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Like stop singing about these relationships she had ten years ago.
And I got so angry because I'm like, these are
her truths, and these are the pillars that have created
her life, and like, these are events that helped shape
her become the woman that she is today, and these
are the span of her life and you can't rob
somebody of those pivotal.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Moments and memories and like inspiration.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I don't think that person gets songwriting because people will
literally like songwriters will be like, okay, like did you
ever have a situation where like this happened, and it's like,
oh yeah, like a long time ago, and then they
like create a whole narrative just based on this like thought.
It's not that like, yeah, she's probably not thinking about
it that much.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Well, I got on my Yeah, I Taylor.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I get it. I get defensive.
Speaker 7 (16:53):
Yeah, but it is crazy because I feel like I
was just watching all the things, like all the theories
coming out, and I don't know, it's just what she's
able to achieve and the like mystery and the mystique
and the intrigue.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I think is just like so cool.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
She's a mastermind. He's like, she is the mastermind. I
did see you remember that time. I was like I
just feel like sometimes like I have a salt where
I'm like, maybe I want to have kids so I
can show them, Taylor.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Swift, that's your thought.
Speaker 6 (17:25):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
And then I'm like around a kid and like a restaurant,
I'm like, okay, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
No, you don't want to have kids to show them,
Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, I don't think I don't need to show them
that much. Yeah, you know there will be other kids
to show niece's nephews, et cetera. Yeah, anyways, she's a genius.
I feel honored to live in the lifetime. Oh you
got a PR box or the box?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I got the box?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Did you get the sweatsuit? Did you open it?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I got the sweatsuit?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Is it not cozy? I haven't I didn't get one.
Haley got it.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
I haven't put it on yet. It's in my car.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Okay, Hailey got it. And it is one of the
softest merch pieces I've ever felt. Of course, she.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Felt very meant for me because I've been like, really.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Just I just wear you love a sweat I love a.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Sweat set, like I live in a sweat set. It's
just kind of become my norm. And so when I
opened the box and saw that it was a sweat set,
I just felt very much like seen and heard yeah
and appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, She's like, you know who would love this set around?
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, yeah, author, author, published author.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
I love it. There's something printed on the top of
the hood because as someone that looks down at a
lot of people, I like something for me to look at.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
So like if you have the hood up very tall
person next to you, they get a little treat too.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah. I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I'm going to wash it up. I'm going to wash
it and put that bad boy right on. You'll be
seeing me in that tomorrow, Well.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I see you tomorrow or just the Instagram story.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Just like in general, popping around town in that sweatsuit
in twenty four hours.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Okay, So we love the album. It's truly close to perfection.
I don't know if there's any anything I'd change. And
then you go to Harry Styles last night for Oh
my God Opening Night. How did Robbie handle you being
in the same room with Harry.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I know, I know, I made my cat brot.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I did a reel about the Harry Show, and I
brought my boyfriend to go watch my boyfriend. And I
can't tell if like, I can't tell if you was
like annoyed by it or not.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I would definitely be annoyed by that. If Haley said
brought my girlfriend to see my girlfriend, I'd be like.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
He plays into the joke, and I think he thinks
it's funny. But then I'm like, sometimes I'm like, I
probably wouldn't appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
He admitted that that's the only time he's ever felt
jealous in y'all's relationship. Only time all the people you
interview see he has no jealousy except for Harry Styles. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Well it was time.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
He was like, it's we need to celebrate, so we
are going to go and we are going to see.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Harry at the Forum.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It was a star sighting there was I saw Hillary
Duff with her family. I saw Jessica Alba with her kids.
Ellen DeGeneres was there, Keenan Thompson was there, Olivia Wilde
was there.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Wow. Yeah, but you know that's a very random group
of sightings.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
But yes, very random, but equally like shocking. Yeah yeah, yeah,
you know, like my star eyes were like, whoa.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, I love that you still get star eyes because
a lot of people in your position would be very
jaded by what you do. You and Easton both it's
very like, I love it. It's one of my favorite things
that y'all get so well.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
The cool thing is about the Harry Show is he's
like in the center and he really does go around
the stage so like and pretty uhu frequently. Yeah, Like
he's not like he hasn't just played at the front.
He plays at the front, he plays the back, he
was side. He moves so much and so you don't
have there's not a bad seat in the house, and
(20:54):
so I just really loved that he helped a girl come
out during the show. I believe her name was Serena,
but it was really cool. He like took somebody's boa
and he was like, when I put this boa over
my head, like you're gonna be out, and so he
was like playing with the boa and like running around
with it, and then he just like lifted up over
his head and everybody started.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Screaming, Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
And then there was another person that I had a
sign that said I'm living my twenties in my sixties,
and I was like, that's so cool. Yeah, and he
was just like, you know, you can live your live
your twenties whenever, you know, just about living your best
life whenever you know, sees the moment and just felt
very like, yeah, I'm an author.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
What was your favorite song? Life?
Speaker 8 (21:39):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I enjoyed Satellite Live because he was really like flying
around the stage.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
That's this, that's like that song. Hearing that live is
only like that's the main reason I'm like dying to
go see it.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah, show, yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And then Cinema was really fun. Robbie's like that's his
new favorite song. He's obsessed with it. So we enjoyed that.
And then I also love to adore you. Yeah, classic, classic,
just like a vibe.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You did a lot. There was a lot happening for
you this week. Let's to a lot of emotions, a
lot of emotions.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yeah, enjoy, thank you so much, You're so welcome. Yeah,
it was a lot of emotions. And then there was
like rain this weekend in La.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
So nothing makes me happier than rain.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
So between the Taylor album and the Harry Show and
the book announcement, I'm on like adrenaline high as you
should be. I'm probably gonna take a nap later because
i was out late for the Harry Show. But it
was worth it because you know whose house it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Is, Harry's.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It's Harry's house. Yeah, fifteen nights.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
It's insane. I don't know how he does it.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Fifteen nights at the Forum.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
They have a huge.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Sign like they do like the lights that say you
know like and they did the lights for other artists,
but they have these huge letters that are on top
of the Forum that say Harry's house.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
And I've never seen that before.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I'm trying to think because we went just last year
he was on his other tour. Yeah it was, It's
only been a year. The man does not rest.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
No, he doesn't need Are you kidding? He doesn't need rest.
That man, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
He might eventually need some rest, but he is good.
He is he the TikTok videos, Like my algorithm has
let me know that I enjoy watching Harry style videos
because I get a lot of them on my for
you page and I stay, I sit and watch and
watch them all.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah it was great.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, it was great. I haven't been, but it sounds great.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I can't wait to almost like, I'm like, I need
to go back again. I'm known, Yeah, let's go. Because
we didn't stay for the encore because I was trying
to be responsible at all for work.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh I know, Okay, we should go and stay for
the encore. Yeah, Haley and I went back to the
place that we met this weekend for the first time
since we met four years ago. I saw you post that,
but I think we should get to that after a break.
Why after we take a break?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Why?
Speaker 8 (23:56):
Okay, fine, okay, we are back after a very a
(24:17):
very long break felt long.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
So Hailey's friend slash old publicist got married and they
rented out No Vacancy, which is like a to get
married no for like an after party. Like they had
the wedding, then they had the reception, and then they
had like an after party where they invited a lot
more people. Got it so smart, so thoughtful.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yeah, I've never heard of that.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Actually I know me neither. So they rented out No Vacancy,
which is where Haley had her Expectations album release party,
which is where we met and we've never been back
since then, and that's where the after party was. So
she was like, you have to, like, let's have a moment.
So let's have a moment. We went and we there
was like these stairs where the DJ booth is. That's
(25:02):
exactly where we met, like where she came up and
introduced herself, and then there was like a little room
with this fireplace and that's where we were talking and
I was trying to set up with my sister, and
we took our first photo together that already looked like
we were a couple. Yeah, it did, and it was
so cool. It also like blew my mind that we
had never gone back until this point. But it was
really it just was like fun to give it feels. Yeah,
(25:25):
I always have the feels like anything better. Yeah, I
always have the feels when I like think about our
relationship and BacT. Last night, so April will be five years.
M hm that is it's been like four and a
half years. So last night I had this thought and
I was we were about to go to sleep, and
I was taking Phoebe out and I had this like weird,
like not anxious feeling, but there was like this feeling
(25:48):
that I felt like sad or something. And I realized
it was because we had had like a fun day
like just we were and like ran errands, and I
was like sad to go to bed, Like I was
like sad that like our time was like ending hanging out.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
I get that feeling sometimes on Monday mornings. Yeah, I
get like are you crying?
Speaker 8 (26:07):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Oh, I was like, wow, I'm really emotional about it.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I get that feeling on Monday mornings because sometimes like
I feel like we have such a good weekend and
I get and I love waking up to him, do
you know what I mean? Like I love waking up
to him and having those mornings and then Monday when
I I leave before he even opens his eyes, and
I get like that emotion too, where I get really sad.
I'm like, oh, I'm not going to wake up to
him this morning. I get really it's weird, Like what
(26:32):
is this feeling? It needs to exit my body right now.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I realize that I feel it often, like especially on
the weekends too, but like last night, was actually able
to put like the reason to the feeling, Like I
was able to like place it, and I was like,
it's such a cute thought like that. It like kind
of shocked me that I felt.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I just had this revelation now right here, right now,
because I thought, he let me tell you, Beca is
turning into Tanya.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
See, I think I'm more I'm way more like in
touch with my emotions, and like I don't think it's
that I've never felt them, It's that I'm learning to
express them more. So, like last night, I had that
thought and instead of just like keeping it and being like,
oh that's nice, I like shared it with Haley and
she was like that is so sweet. She was just
(27:24):
like also shocked to her back. But yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
That's why I do.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
That's why I leave Robbie little notes when I leave
before he wakes up. I leave like a note so
that since he's not waking up with me, he can
like kind of wake up with me.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, like he he wakes up with your words.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Of my wordst. Cetera, et c.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Published as a published author, he gets the words. But
sometimes I do, like I'll write like a funny poem.
Sometimes it's naughty.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Most of the times they're pretty basic.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Like what did today say? Today's was so.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
He's been working, like really hard, he worked throughout the
whole weekend. So today's was a little just more. I
can't wait for this.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Deal to be done.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
You've been putting so much work into it. There's anything
I can do to help you can't wait to kiss
you at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
It's pretty much it.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
That's really sweet.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Today's is basic. But when there is a naughty little limerick,
I do and I do enjoy those.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Well, we'd like to hear those, those would be nice
to him.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yeah, okay, well I don't have them there. I leave
them and then I don't know what he does with them.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
He probably throws them away.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, let's hear a naughty limerick, an original one, but like, yeah, yeah,
so it would be something like, oh no, why do
I feel stressed?
Speaker 6 (28:36):
I regret asking for this.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I'm all like it would be something like, you know,
being away from you for this many hours feels so wrong.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
I'll be daydreaming about your dong or something.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I literally was like, yeah, you did not be in
the first seven. I was like, oh, it's pretty.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
They're not like dirty, they're just like naughty.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You never know. With you, that's the one thing you
always keep us.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Sometimes I'll draw a sketch of sorts.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah, okay, well we don't need to see that.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
We'll leave that before work and s f W.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I don't know. I think that Robbie might be someone
who keeps them, so, you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
He keeps a lot of stuff, Like I saw in
the closet the other day, Like I saw it's a
giant pile of just like.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Every card, every letter, every like there's he keeps a
lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
But I think the daily notes I don't think he
keeps because most of them are just kind of like
ripped out of a notebook paper. But he keeps pretty
much everything that I've written.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
You should get like a little box that he can
just like.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Put I should get him a box. Yeah, that's a
good idea. Tonya box, Tanya box. Yeah, yeah, that's cute. Yeah,
I actually will because they're just kind of thrown in
there and I'm.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Like, oh, you know what I was thinking about today?
I was, I walked here today. It's every like once
a month I'll do like a walk to Tanya's when
I'm trying to like get fit.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And Becca's like early, which is never I'm always.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I'm typically early when I walk. I think because I think.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
You a lot for more time.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yes, yeah, Oh so I was listening to Taylor Swift
and I can't remember which song it was that provoked
this thought, but let me know if y'all resonate with
this at all. I was thinking about how sometimes like
I feel like there's been certain people in my life
where like every if there was like an article about
(30:42):
me or anything, like, they'd send it and be like,
oh my gosh, like I saw you, Like I just
saw this article pop up. That's so cool. And then
if it's anything about like my relationship with Haley, there's
like they don't send anything about it because like they
don't agree or whatever, Okay, okay. So I was thinking
about this, how this isn't specific to like coming out
(31:04):
or anything, but in general, we have people who have
these like expectations for our lives, right, and they celebrate
it as long as it's going in a direction that
they approve of, and then when they don't approve of it,
they stop celebrating you. Right. So the truth is they're
not rooting for you. They're rooting for themselves, right, and
(31:27):
they're expectations of what they see for you. M that's
like crazy, Like that's crazy. I think that's deep.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Hunh beactcause I'm proud of myself.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
No Taylor slips, let me there. But I was just
thinking about how like sometimes we work so hard to
please other people that we forget ourselves and we're like, well,
they were rooting for us, But if they were only
rooting for you.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
To take the path that they want you to.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Take, the path that they wanted, or what they expected
your life to look like, or the choices you made,
whether it's relationships, work anything, they weren't rooting for you.
They were rooting for themselves.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah, so it's a very I hate that.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
I hate what you're saying, though, I hate that there
are people out there that are like, good for her,
good for.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
Her, Oh she's in love. Yeah, I don't agree with that.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I know I hate hate it too.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
And you know that fifty years from now, one hundred
years from now, nobody's gonna care about any of that stuff.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
So just be on the right side of history and
stop caring about that.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Correct, But you know, not even that. It's like even like,
let's say you're you're Let's say somebody really wanted you
to become a dentist, and you were like, they had
their they had a long line of dentists in the family.
And then you were like, you know what, I really
want to be a veterinarian. And you don't become the
veterinarian because that your heart desires, because you want to
(32:42):
just make people happy, that you become the dentist. And
then you're working every day in a job that your
heart does not belong in.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
For someone else, for who. And then you get to
sixty an older age, and you look back and you go,
I had one I had one life to do this,
and I did. I did what someone else wanted.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Becca. I can't even tell you.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
I can't even tell you how much I unders like
I don't personally. It's interesting because I've always kind of
gone against the path in terms of like my parents
were never really I mean, it was you know, they're serbian.
It's like, you know, doctor lawyer, that's like the path.
I was never going down that path, and I don't
think they ever expected me to. But there was never
(33:33):
that that when I told them what I wanted to do.
There was never that disappointment in their voices, do you
know what I mean? It was always just like okay,
maybe they didn't understand it at the time. There was
never like disappointment, you know what I mean. It was
always just like okay, like that's great, Like how can
I learn more?
Speaker 2 (33:46):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Like I never had that in certain ways. But I
see so many people that have done certain things in
their life, like married a specific person that was like
a family friend that that was just like the safe
choice and ended up you know, getting divorced later on,
or you know, just like things that they knew in
their heart wasn't for them, but they were just doing
(34:08):
what their family had told.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Them to do.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
And it really leads to this life of just I
don't want to say, feeling unfulfilled.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
But there is that sense of just like what am
I doing this for? Mm hm?
Speaker 3 (34:21):
And like if you compound that into decades and decades
and decades, you wake up one day and you're just like,
what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
And I also think that when you're doing things for
other people your whole life, like when that's just like
the structure that you live in, you don't even you
might not even realize that you've just done it for
everybody else until you do something that they're not proud
of or that they're not like, that they don't agree with. Yeah,
and that's when you really you have to make that
decision like am I doing this for them? Or am
(34:50):
I living life for them or for me? And yeah,
it's pretty I mean, I think we see it all
the time with people, whether it's personal or not.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, So anyways, I had an epiphany.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
That epiphany is a strong one that I think I
think a lot of people can relate to.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
We'll leave you with that for our next break and
we'll come back with emails. All right, I hope you
had a nice long break pondering. Our last was some good.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Stuff, Becca, That was some good stuff right there.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
You can lave your twenties in your sixties.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
If Harry Styles Concert taught me anything, it's that. I
love that live in my twenties and my sixties.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
You go, girl. I can't remember if it was a
guy or girl.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
It is funny though, because I think as we continue
to get older, there's that thought like I used to
see like older people who were like having fun and
being like what, like you're still lowed to like have
fun when you're that age, like you know, and and
when you grow up in a certain culture, it's like
they need to act their age, you know, like they're
(36:09):
too old for that. You're not. You're really not like we,
I think as a society put limitations on things because
of age, and we got to stop doing that.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I'm not here for it.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Live your twenties and your sixties if you want.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
There's actually chapter of my book about that.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
I can't wait to read it.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
About like the people who.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
I don't want to say like they're claim to fame,
but like they got well known and later on in life,
you know, it's like you don't have to do everything
by twenty Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
I love Tom Bergeron's the guy I think of Tom
Bergeron finally made it big on like Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
I think he was in his fifties.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
Yeah, like Bara Wang, and there's like all these different
people in their forties fifties.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Yeah, it's like, you know what, it's okay if you
don't do it by twenty five. Yeah, just to say
you need to do by thirty.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah. This is gonna be a short conversation because I
didn't finish the episode. But Gray's anatomy this week? Do
we have thought? Oh? Yes, oh you see Tanya. Well,
I got through, like almost to the end, and I
was just kind of like.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
It wasn't as strong as the first two for sure, Yeah,
but it is still better than what we've been getting.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
I was very happy with it.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
My sister texts me and goes, why does why do
we continue to have to watch Owen have sex scenes?
Speaker 5 (37:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Although I will say I thought he looked good this episode.
He got a fresh haircut, He looked like more put
together than he's looked recently, which I appreciated.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I need the interns having more sex.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Okay, So the what's his name? I know him as Harry.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Show I know, I say Harry Seman and easy girl,
I say eazy girl.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
We're still learning names, but I literally there was a
moment before they had sex where I was like, they're
gonna hook up. It's gonna be like Alex.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
And then Harry Shum has this aura. He has this
aura about him that's just like.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Sexual, a sexual aura. Yeah, so we have him on
the show. We should try and get him on the show.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
We should.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Okay, it's like you can cut the tension when he's
around with like a knife.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I think they're making him out to be the new Korev.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yes, doctor Kwan, doctor Daniel Kwan.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
And then we and I did enjoy the conversation between
Meredith and Griffith, whose grandma has Alzheimer's, because I obviously
those parallel lines. And first of all, I will have
to acknowledge that Meredith Gray has had the best hair
since season one and it just continues to look fantastic.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Yeah, she's looking good this season.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
She's looking great. Not that that's what it's about, but
she looks great.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
And then we did get insight into what's the other
interns name that we missed lost?
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Right, oh oh oh oh, Yesuda ya Suda.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
She said that she doesn't sleep with men. She's like,
I only sleep with women. So that was some personal
information that we hadn't heard before.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Anything else.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Wait, I literally can I just tell you that I
actually wanted to watch Gray's Anatomy on Thursday night when
it was live on television, which I have wanted to
do in a very long time. Unfortunately, I did not
watch it because of Taylor.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Here's what I know. I'm always surprised when it's already over.
I'm like, well, that was it that flew by.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
That's saying a lot, because.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I think that says a lot because in the past
it's been a bit of a sloge with it.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
Now I'm like, oh my gosh, it's over already. Can
you believe it?
Speaker 1 (39:46):
And then the Zola being a genius of it all.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
That's interesting and that's going to be an interesting plotline
to follow.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Well, at first I was just like rolling my eyes
because I'm like, of course, like her parents are geniuses.
But now I forgot about the panic attack and how
the two could like coincide, and it's something deeper than that,
and like, actually very interesting to learn about. So I'm
enjoying that.
Speaker 5 (40:13):
Doctor Marsha's all those interactions. I like it.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
Yeah, all right, great, we're still in the up and
up on. Shall we get into emails?
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, your front doorbell and.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
That's probably a delivery kind of thank you.
Speaker 5 (40:30):
I just started listening. Well, welcome. That is great.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
You know, we've so many scrubbers have been here for years,
and we're always happy to add to the to the group.
I'd love some advice from the cast. When I first
started dating my fiance, I told them I'd been in
multiple relationships. I told them this because they told me
they had been in numerous relationships as well. We were
long distance, and they're meeting my family for the first time.
(40:53):
I'm nervous that my family members will say something like, ah,
it's sure great to meet her first boyfriend, for example,
I haven't told him that I really haven't been with
a lot in a lot of relationships. I asked my
therapist for advice. She told me not to tell them
and smile if anyone says anything, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Can we get a summary? So she told her current
partner that she's been with a lot of people, had
a lot of relationships, A lot of relationships.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Yes she has, which is not true. Oh and now
this partner, who I believe she were first, who has
her boyfriend? Yeah, I was meeting the family for the
first time, and she's worried some of the family's going
to mention him being the first boyfriend and that's going
to be a problem. So how does she handle this?
Does she warn her family not to say anything? Does
she tell the boyfriend? Okay, look, I haven't been in
a lot of relationships?
Speaker 5 (41:39):
What does she do?
Speaker 1 (41:41):
See I read this. This is so fascinating. I read
this differently, as in, she only told her boyfriend that
this is her first, that this isn't her first relationship,
but her family doesn't know she's been in multiple relationships.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
No, I think Mark has it right, because that's how
I read it.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Do you get what I'm saying, Mark?
Speaker 5 (42:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (42:04):
I think, Yes, I see what you're saying, and so
I'm reading it over again. No, I think she I
think she lied to her partner fiance. I think she
lied to her fiance and said I've been in many
relationships just like you, and that isn't true, and now
she feels guilty about it and isn't sure what to do.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I'm going to give some advice that you might not
want to hear.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Uh Oh, the truth will set thy free.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
I agree, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
I mean, the fact that he's your fiance and you've
kept the shared up for this long is a little
bit sketch.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
But I just think it's it's not that big of.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
A deal that you haven't had a lot of serious relationships.
Like it's to me, that's not a big deal at all.
So I feel like you should just come clean and
just say I was feeling insecure at the beginning of
our relationship, and that's why I said it. I'm really sorry.
Lying's not great, But I just think, don't put your family,
don't make your family lie, like, don't just like, don't
(43:07):
add to it, you know what I mean, Because eventually
it is going to come out and he's just gonna
be like, why have you been lying this whole time?
Speaker 2 (43:15):
When my start compounding it's not great.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
I just like, part of me is like, y'all are fiance,
So this feels very This to me feels very insignificant
because it's like, hey, when we first started dating, I
got so nervous because you had been in multi relationships
and I said the same. But that's not true. Like
I'm really excited for my family to meet you and
(43:38):
and just keep it casual. I mean, I don't think
it's up, but he loves you like he.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Although I don't know why the therapist is telling you
not to tell questionable question. I wonder, I wonder if
we have if she the therapist is information we don't have.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Maybe very possible since we have one paragraph to base all.
Speaker 8 (43:58):
This off of.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Right, All right, well, this one's anonymous, she says, I'll
try to keep this short. How would you both feel
if one of you were invited to the other surprise
engagement and you found out later they didn't show up
because they went to a casual dinner instead.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
He pissed.
Speaker 4 (44:13):
My childhood best friend got engaged the day before me.
Speaker 5 (44:17):
Crazy.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
I know both her and her new fiance were invited
to my engagement by my fiance a couple of weeks prior. Surprise,
everyone's here. Well, my friend told my fiance she would
try to make it, but ultimately didn't show up because
of a casual dinner. She texted me, asking you about the
details of my engagement but I didn't even get a
phone call. I know it sounds silly, but I was
(44:37):
thrilled when she got engaged, even though her now fiance
put her through hell at one point. I needed every
detail because I knew she was happy. I feel like
that is how any best friend would feel and act. Also,
I found out she got engaged hours after it happened
on Instagram. It was just one of those moments of
me feeling that I may consider her my best friend,
but does she not consider me?
Speaker 5 (44:58):
Hers?
Speaker 4 (44:58):
Am I crazy for having the feelings and being hurt
by this? I let it go, but I do think
about it still, and I'm just more careful now about
who I choose to spend my time with and who
I consider a best friend.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Listen, I don't I identify as a BECA. I mean
I identify as a BECA and I would be devastated
by this because finding out something this significant on Instagram
is like, I feel like those are the last people
to know, right, Yeah, Like if Tanya didn't at least
(45:34):
have me in her like top five people that she
facetimed with the Ring like in like this, right, I really.
Speaker 5 (45:40):
Lyric Taylor Lyric Top five Taylor Lyric Top five.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Yeah, I'd be like I would be thinking about not
like oh, where does our relationship stand? But just like, huh,
I I totally have that wrong the whole time, whole friendship.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
I get engaged, I post pictures and I don't tell
you like that just is not even a thing.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
The way I would have to just grip my teeth
and be like, M so happy for you. She must
have been so overwhelmed that she forgot.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I'd be so pissed.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yes, And I think that obviously there's some things that
like we prioritize, like some things that might mean more
to one person than the other person. But I think
an engagement is like pretty equal, like people realize the
significance of it. So like even when I first kissed Hailey,
(46:35):
like I think Tanya was like definitely one of the
first two people I called, yeah, if not the first
and told her So I think it's just like I
think your feelings being hurt is so valid. And I
don't know if you have a conversation or just kind
of maybe accept like yeah, maybe you put more value
and effort into the friendship.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Or you can just yeah, like I would say say
that you're you can express your feelings, my feelings or hurt.
I thought we were better friends than that, and just
like kind of leave it and just take that as
take this as an example of kind of where your
friendship stands, you know what I mean, Maybe you don't
put that as much effort in.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Yeah, I think, like I also agree expressing your feelings
not just like bearing them in and being like, Okay,
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna like be a burden
by expressing my feelings. It's her time. But I think
being able to say, like, hey, it really hurt my
feelings that you weren't a part of this day and
and for like a casual dinner, you know, I think
that's fair, and then she can however she reacts, is
(47:34):
we'll be telling.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
I would just add that she answered her own question
here in her last line when she said, I'm just
being more careful too, I spend my time with and
who I can hit her best friend. Yeah, that's our advice.
Do that, be more careful. And you're not her best
friend and that sucks, but yeah, it's good that you know,
and you can move on and get a better one.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I also think sometimes like the childhood best friend thing
is hard because like from a child to adult, you
change so much, who you are, your interests, what.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
You make, seasons of life too.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
You know. It's interesting because like when I was in college,
I had like my best group of girlfriends, and then
when after graduated, they all got married and had babies,
and I was just in such a different life stage
and season and so it's like, excuse me, there is
something to that where like life stages, yeah, making people
(48:26):
further through further from other people, but like it can
still all be good. It doesn't have to be bad,
Like there's not to be bad blood or you know
what I mean, any sort of negativity. It's just like,
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
And I think it's like where, okay, where am I
putting my effort into with this friendship still? So I'm
sorry that sucks. My congratulations on your engagement.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Congratulations, We're very happy for so happy for you.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
All Right, that'll wrap her up with the bow tie.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Wraps her up. She still gotta shine, Isn't it crazy?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
In a few months, I'm going to be holding a
book that you wrote, like a hardcover book with your
name on the front.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yes, it's so wild.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Oh, Tanya, I mentioned you mentioned what you learned writing
this book and how much respect you have for actual novelists.
Speaker 5 (49:15):
Now I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
I have so much respect for people that write like
chapter books, you know what I mean, Like a chapter
book that has a beginning, middle, end, and the chapters
all come together to create some cohesive story. Because a
devotional is very bite sized, you know, it's one hundred days.
Every day is a different scripture, a different interpretation, a
different story. It's very bite sized, digestible. And also you know.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
It was it was just so interesting, Like I was like,
this is so wild. I have so much respect.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
If anybody that I ever admire or respect in this
industry writes a book, I'm going to read it because
I know how much effort it took, you know what
I mean, how much effort. And so now I'm going
to be like that girl. I'm going to be like
book girl. I've got a book, I kind of book.
Send it to Tanya.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
But I do think there's like I know what you're saying,
but to give you credit like coming up like interpreting
a small passage and making a whole book of those
types of things is also a lot of like mental
work and.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Time because we didn't want everything. We didn't want to
be super redundant.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
You know.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
We got to a point where we were like.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
We're kind of saying the same thing, and we didn't
want it to be that, so we really had to
kind of like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
That's what I'm saying, and then like a novelist, so
you can kind of take the story wherever you want
it to, Like, any idea is not too crazy because
you're writing a book, you know, so everything. Everyone has
their gifts and talents and their lanes, and right now
yours is this one. Might be might be a fiction
novelist one day too. We don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
Hey, hi, I'm the author.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
It's me.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
Oh yeah, me, Hi, I'm the author.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
You should do bye, because now we're saying for the all, yeah,
we're ending the podcast. Bye.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
Wait, how's it go again?
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Bye? Bye? It's me.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
It's me. I'm the author.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
It's me.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
We love you, I love you.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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