October 25, 2022 • 52 mins
A published author has entered the O.R. and it’s our own Tanya Rad! We hear everything about her upcoming book and how a Scrubber helped it all come together.
We HAVE to break down “Midnights” by Taylor Swift, and now that Becca and Tanya have had a few days to digest the lyrics, there are some theories to unpack.
And Becca shares the story of her return to the spot where she and Hayley met for the first time!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I
Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, We are scrubbing in scrub
a dub dub on a Monday with a lot to discuss. Well,
first things first, I'm sitting next to a number one
bestseller and Christian Devotionals on Amazon probably all the other
(00:24):
ones too published author, How does it feel to tell
the world It was such a weird feeling like I
was feeling because it's been such a long time coming
and I've been working on it for so long that
it felt very like like butterflies. Yeah, like nervous, but
(00:44):
like excited, um, like all the things when you release
something on social media these days, like you don't know
what the response is going to be or if you're
if people are even gonna see it because of like
the A I was like, I supposed photos, so who
knows if people are gonna see these? But you look,
I mean, I felt like you got an overwhelming response
(01:05):
to and reco It was so and the messages are like.
The thing is the amazing story behind this book is
that it all stemmed from the Our Highs and Lows
episode we did. I think Our twenty was like the
ending of and we were talking about our highs and
lows of the year, and I was saying how my
(01:25):
low was that I spent all this energy and money
and effort and time into this book proposal that didn't
go anywhere, And this amazing scrub sister reached out and
was just like, I believe in you so much. I
want to connect you. My aunt works for a Christian publishing,
you know I want you to I told her about you,
I want to connect you, and it all it was
(01:46):
like such a god thing because it was like the
uh ghostwriter who was helping me on my first proposal
came back to me and said, I believe in you
so much. I want to do another proposal with you.
Pro Boto. I really believe in in you so like
I was just I was constantly crying because like everything
when it was happening just felt very meant to be.
And um, and then the partnering where Kyle had been
(02:07):
talking about wanting to do something with like more purpose
and and encouraging people and something that people can actually
hold onto, and so it all kind of serendipitously happened
at the same time. And it's been a long time coming. Uh.
We've been working on it for a long time, almost
two years. Almost two years. Yeah, So it feels really
(02:29):
really good to be able to talk about it and
share it and get excited about it. It's actually happening,
and it's something that I'm so proud of because it's
like it's so representative of who I am and what
I stand for, and it just feels really good. Well,
I think I speak for all of us when we
say we're very proud of you and adding that title
(02:52):
to your name, amongst so many other things. And I know,
like the whole scrubbing In community is just like so
excited and read to read the words from both of
you and be encouraged. So I really and the fact
that it's number one Christian devotional on Amazon, I gotta
believe the Scrubbers are a big portion of that for sure,
(03:13):
for sure. And like the messages I was getting yesterday
from the Scrubbers was that of just like, um, you know,
we saw you fail, we saw you fail, but you
didn't give up. This was something that you really wanted
and you kept going and like but I literally like
on and off crying pretty much all day yesterday, and
like Robbie was saying the same thing because he was
there when I got, you know, the called like nobody
wanted my book, and I was just like a mess.
(03:34):
You know, it's like this this rejection in such a
deep way. Um. And he was like you didn't let that,
you know, you didn't give up. You kept going and
like you did it again and like a lot of
people don't do that, and like he was like saying
all these words, and I was just like I I
was just constantly crying yesterday. Well. And I also feel
like if I correct me, if I'm wrong, when you
were getting the calls that were saying like no, it
(03:55):
was because like they wanted it to be something that
you were and you weren't willing to compromise like your
truth and who you are for the guest, which I
think is like a really important lesson for people to remember,
like you don't have to like adjust yourself for anybody
(04:15):
to get the guests, Like it just might be a
different time plan. Yeah, And that's the thing to him, like,
look now that I'm an author, Oh now she's an author. Um,
I could eventually at some point do the dating book
that I never got to do. Do you know what
I mean, Like that could come down the line, but
this definitely feels like meant to be what it was
(04:36):
supposed to be. And um, it's gonna be fun. The
rollout is gonna be fun because there's like some fun
surprises and things. So it's just it's gonna be a
fun end of the year. Are we going on a
Taylor Swift Easter Egg journey? No, not quite Easter Egg.
I'm tired, I know, I mean, I mean, it was
like such a whirlwind of emotions this weekend. Yeah, there
(04:58):
was a lot happening, a lot like we should. So anyways,
I want to, uh, I'm gonna be obviously sharing more
about the book as it gets closer, but um, thank
you guys for all just like the support and love
and words and um pre orders and it's like crazy,
we were number two and fifty or something out of
all the books on Amazon this morning. That is insane
(05:19):
and it's not even out. It's not even out, so
it was really crazy, and so I just want to say,
thank you guys. That's really cool. We're all so proud
of you. They can't wait. Thank to have it in
my hands. Oh yeah, signed copy obviously, yeah. Um so
amongst Tanya officially being in all four, we were blessed.
(05:42):
We were absolutely blessed by the one and only. I
don't think it took me like less than twenty four
hours to figure out the Hi. It's me, I'm an author,
it's I. Did I saw your strumming in so it's funny? Yeah?
(06:02):
Um yeah, I mean where do we begin? Where do
we begin? I wrote, like my top five, and then
like why I love them? I wrote in my notes, Well,
I had the same favorite song, which I was surprised
that because typically I listen for hooks and she listens
for lyrics. And this time, for the first time, we
sink up Duke. Those two collided. That's very interesting. Congrats
(06:26):
you guys. It's very Becca knows wo. Becca has like
a essay on why the songs are her favorite? Wow? Okay, great, Yes,
Jeweled was our favorite. Um, I too love be Jeweled.
It's not my top five. I mean wanting the penthouse
of somebody's heart when you're in the basement in his
(06:47):
life is like the most relatable lyric I have ever
felt to my core, but like in such a poetic way.
No I would ever say that I know, like just
describing that feeling. But she's a poet, I know, and
it's just like, what are you? What are you gonna do?
A diamond pass to shine like we have, We're gonna shine.
So screw you your little basement men keeping us in
the basement. Well, I'm going to start with Labyrinth, which
(07:13):
some people love, and then some people are like, I
don't get the hype. Robbie, Yeah, Robbie does not get Labyrinth.
Um Becca is more of like the whimsical Taylor. Like
Becca really likes the whimsical romantical Taylor. Is what I've gathered.
This was what I wrote about Labyrinth. What's not to Love?
In all caps. It feels like you're ascending into another dimension.
(07:37):
The feelings of heartbreak, wondering if you'll ever get over
that person, that crush that the lyric I'll be getting
over you my whole life, to the feeling of falling
in love again, and the fear and the excitement of
falling fast. You would break your back to make me
break a smile. It gives me feelings of nine that
(07:57):
you're in love. Yeah, which is an one of my favorites.
Interesting romantic, it's so romantic. I like the words, but
again that's a little whimsical for me. Okay, okay, whimsical.
I like a boppy Okay, so you like be Jeweled
because it's saying like hear me, roar, sparkle no matter what.
(08:18):
But you were so into Evermore and folklore, Jerry whimsical.
I know. Interesting, but but my favorites in those, My
favorites in those are the more boppier ones like Willow
and Invisible String. Yeah, but I feel like Labyrinth is
on that same level. Labyrinth, It's just not in my
top Okay, okay, so I'll give it to you, Okay,
(08:39):
thank you so much. Um Midnight Rain, yeah, you guys. So,
just looking at the list of the titles, I chose
that as the one I was going to love the most.
I didn't know what it would sound like or anything,
and it sounded so different than what I expected. It's
one of my favorite songs I think I've ever heard
on first listen because it was so different and I
(09:01):
loved like the random voice coming in at the beginning,
like it starts and you're like, who the heck is that?
What is that? And the pop of it and then um,
I like the relatability to having someone who is perfect,
like has everything that you want and treat you like perfection,
but you're wanting the pain. You're wanting someone that sparks
(09:22):
the challenge and the passion inside you. I can't relate
to that, okay, but I respect it. I respect it.
I like I like the love, you know, like I
like the steady eddies. I don't need the like crazy Carls.
But she's like she's like you were wanting a bride
and I was chasing the fame like I was. I
(09:42):
was doing what I needed to do for myself, which
I don't want to be a settle down. But you
know what, I figured out that this song was about
Taylor Lautner very quickly because I was listening to lyrics
and I was like, who is she dating when she
was like ascending and like going after her fame and
he was like this really sweet guy, nothing was wrong
with him, him like great family. And I was like, oh,
Taylor Launer, this is not confirmed this, but I felt
(10:07):
pretty strong about that theory and the Internet agrees with me. Yeah.
People were trying to say, um, yeah, but I feel
like she was already quite famous. She was no longer
chasing the fame. The fame was chasing her. We were
all chasing her exactly, the fame and us correct. My
next one's anti anti hero. Okay, this wasn't originally my
(10:29):
top five, is what I wrote. This wasn't originally my
top five, but it's grown on me exponentially. I love
the self awareness and the vulnerability to a to a
fun beat, it's confusing for the brain, like you're dancing
and it feels playful, but the lyrics are vulnerable and poetic. Yeah.
I like this one because it's about her, Like it's
self deprecating, which I enjoy, and the the sexy baby
(10:52):
lyric like I it's so random, but like makes sense,
and it's the part I continue. I'm like, find myself
just repeating. That's how I feel about the cat purring
in her lap from Karma, like I keep I can't
get that visual out of my Tanya said she wants
a cat just so she can see what it's like
to cat her in my lap, so that I can
feel this euphoric feeling Taylor speaks of. I think you
(11:14):
have other things, and that's in that song that you
don't have to commit today. I've just never experienced it,
so I feel like it's something that I should pursue. Okay,
my next one is Mastermind. Yeah, like we have none
of the same favorites. So the lyrics in this song
and the meaning and the melody and production, it's Chef's kiss.
(11:36):
This is another journey for the mind. Like you're confusing
and your upbeat dancing, and then you stop and listen
and it's like mind blowing. The part about being a
kid and having to plan out everything to make sure
people like you and their please with you, and that
leading into adulthood and how you like navigate work in relationships.
It's just it's it's Mastermind. Okay, she has no words.
(11:57):
I really that one I don't understand. Maybe I'll give
it a couple of mores. Maroon is just so romantic.
I feel like it's a prelude, prelude to New Year's Day,
like it was the night before New Year's Day. Her
song on that's not my favorite. Yeah, it's interesting, good.
I love the course in the melody of that. I said, stunning.
And then um, my other favorites are Karma, Bejeweled, and Vigilante.
(12:21):
See that's where my list comes in okay, because the
Jeweled is like it's just pique Tanya, like that song
was made for me. Like at that song I could
not get past. I kept listening to it on repeat.
I just love everything about it. Vigilante is just so
different and unique and cool. It gives me like Billie
Eilish vibes, and the lyrics are just so gnarly that
(12:47):
it's like it makes me feel a certain way. Yeah.
Before I like, before I really listened to the lyrics,
I was like, is this hypothetically about Scooter or Kanye?
Like Kanye, I think we're Scooter. I think it is
too because I see her being friends with his ex wife,
and I don't think she's friends with Kim Kardashian. I
would love that if they were, though, Yeah, okay. And
(13:09):
then Karma. I just love Karma Karma. It's just everything
about it is like just pure perfection. And then I
will tell you what a sha Kota is really sliding
in there with a strong it's a really good bridge. Yes,
and the thought of like somebody taking her childhood away
and like she wished she would have never danced with
(13:30):
the devil. I feel like we all have somebody like
and from our past that we would just wish we
never had gone there. They took something from us, you
know what I mean? Like I don't have that, but
I think a lot of people probably do. Yeah, so
that song like that one really gets me. Okay, I
switched that out with Lavender Hayes because that was a
top contender but interesting, number one, number one track, number
one track and number four in my heart. Okay, what
(13:52):
are your what are your runner ups or yours? Like
almost made the top five but didn't. My honorable mentions
were we go Lavender Hayes. I do like vigilant O. No,
I do like um labyrinthe Labyrinth. And there's one other
one out that I'm forgetting stand by Still on the Beach. No.
(14:15):
I really like that one to actually Midnight Rain. Oh yeah,
I mean Midnight Rain is an absolute an anti hero. Okay.
The thing is that nothing the album is in Paris
so good. That's it right there? Eastern. Have you written notes?
(14:38):
You know? I have? I jotted down some stuff. I
love Lavender Hayes. Okay, it's the song that connected the
most of me. I love Snow on the Beach. I know, Uh,
we're really looking forward to some Lana. We love Laana
in this house. Um, I hope to hear more of her,
but it never happened. Um. But those are the two
songs that that I connected with the most. Um, and
(14:58):
I haven't given it as deep a dive. That's fair.
It is funny because I realized, Um, Normally, when I
like experienced Taylor albums, I've usually been like by myself.
This is the first time I've been like with Robbie
the like NonStop when it came out, and he was
such a good sport. He was listening to it on
repeat for a while. But you know me, like I
(15:19):
like to listen to the same song over and over
and over and over and over again. He was like,
can we just like switch it up? Maybe? So I
had to. I didn't give it as deep of a
dive as I would have normally, but I definitely gave
it like a good listens. What's the song you had
to like control yourself the most from just playing it
on full repeat? Mine's Midnight Rain but jeweled. Yeah, like
(15:44):
like with no rules you have just listening on constantly
playing in my head right now as we speak, it
just it gets it. It puts me in a headspace
that it tickles my brain or something. I don't know.
It's so funny too, because I feel like everybody, like
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine
(16:05):
and she was just kind of like complaining. She's like,
what is she going to get, like stop singing about
these relationships she had ten years ago? And I got
so angry because I'm like, these are her truths, and
these are the pillars that have created her life, and like,
these are events that helped shape her become the woman
that she is today, and these are the span of
her life and and you can't rob somebody of those
(16:28):
pivotal moments and memories and like inspiration. I don't think
that person gets songwriting because people will literally like songwriters
will be like, okay, like did you ever have a
situation where like this happening It's like, oh yeah, like
a long time ago, and then they create a whole
narrative just based on this like thought, it's not that
like she's probably not thinking about it that much. Well,
(16:48):
I got on my yeah, I get it. I get defensive, um,
but it is crazy because I feel like I was
just watching all the things like all the theories coming out,
and I don't know, it's just what she's able to
achieve and and the like mystery and the mystique and
the intrigue. I think it's just like so cool. She's
(17:09):
a mastermind, the mastermind. I did see you, remember that time.
I was like, I just feel like sometimes like I
have this thought where I'm like, maybe I want to
have kids so I can show them, Taylor Swift, that's
your thought. And then I'm like around a kid and
like a restaurant, I'm like, Okay, I'm good. No, you
(17:31):
don't want to have kids to show them, Taylor Swift. Yeah,
I don't think I don't need to show them that much.
You know, there will be other kids to show's, nephews, etcetera. Anyways,
she's a genius. I feel honored to live in the lifetime.
Oh you got a PR box or the box? I
got the box? Did you get the sweatsuit? Did you
open it? I got the sweatsuit? Is it not cozy?
(17:51):
I didn't get one. Haley got it. I haven't put
it on yet. It's in my car. Okay, Haley got it.
And it is one of the softest merch piece is
I've ever felt. Of course, she felt very um meant
for me because I've been like, really, just I just work.
I love a sweat st and like I live in
a sweat set. It's just kind of become my norm.
(18:12):
And so when I opened the box and saw that
it was a sweat set, I just felt very much
like seen and heard and appreciate it. Yeah, she was like,
you know who would love this set? Yeah? Yeah, author.
I love that there's something printed on the top of
the hood because as someone that looks down a lot
of people, I like something for me to look at.
(18:35):
If you have the hood up very tall person next
to you, they get a little treat to. Yeah. I
can't wait to wash it. I wanna wash it and
put that bad way right on. You'll be seeing me
in that tomorrow, Well I see you tomorrow or just
the Instagram story just like in general, be popping around
town and that sweatsuit in twenty four hours. Okay, So
we love the album. It's truly close to perfection. I
(19:00):
don't know if there's any anything I'd change. Um. And
then you go to Harry Styles last night for opening night.
How did Robbie handle you being in the same room
with Harry. I know, I know, I made my cab broke.
I did a real about the Harry Show, and I
brought my boyfriend to go watch my boyfriend. And I
(19:21):
can't tell if, like m I can't tell if he
was like annoyed by it or not. I would definitely
be annoyed by that, Hailey said, brought my girlfriend to
see my girlfriend. I'd be like, he plays into the joke,
and I think he thinks it's funny. But then I'm like,
sometimes I'm like, I probably wouldn't appreciate that. He admitted
that that's the only time he's ever felt jealous in
(19:43):
relationship only time. All the people you interview see he
has no jealousy sept For Harry Styles. Yeah, well it
was time. He was like, it's we need to celebrate,
so we are going to go and we are going
to see Harry. At the forum, it was ah star
sighting there was I saw Hillary Duff with her family,
(20:04):
and saw Jessica Alba with her kids. Ellena DeGeneres was there,
Keenan Thompson was there, Olivia Wilde was there. Wow. Yeah,
but you know that's a very random group of sight.
But yes, very random, but equally like shocking, you know,
like my star eyes were like, whoa, Yeah, I love
that you still get star eyes because a lot of
(20:24):
people in your position would be very jaded by what
you do. You and Easton both it's very like, I
love it. It's one of my favorite things that y'all
get so well. The cool thing is about the Harry
Show is he's like in the center and he really
does go around the stage so like and pretty um
uh frequently frequently. Yeah, Like he's not like he hasn't
(20:45):
just played at the front. He plays at the front.
He plays the back. He moves so much and so
you don't have there's not a bad seat in the house.
And so I just really loved it. He helped a
girl um come out during the show. I believe her
name was Serena uh um. But it was really cool.
He like took somebody's boa and he was like, when
I put this boa over my head, like you're going
(21:06):
to be out, and so he was like playing with
the boa and like running around with it and he
just lifted up over his head and everybody started screaming yeah.
And then um, there was another person that I had
a sign that said, um, I'm living my twenties in
my sixties, and I was like, that's so cool. Yeah,
and he was just like, you know, you can leave
(21:27):
your live your twenties whenever, and you know, just about
living your best life whenever, you know, sees the moment
and just felt very like, yeah, I'm an author. What
was your favorite song life? I enjoyed Satellite Live because
he was really like flying around the stage. That's that's
like that song. Hearing that live is only like that's
(21:49):
the main reason I'm like dying to go see it.
The show and then the cinema was really fun. Robbie's
like that's his new favorite song. He's obsessed with it.
So we enjoyed that. And then um, I also loved
Adore You Classic Classic. It just like a vibe you
did a lot. There was a lot happening for you
this week. Lot's to a lot of emotions, a lot
(22:12):
of emotions. Yeah, enjoy thank you so much, You're welcome. Yeah,
it was a lot of emotions. And then there was
like rain this weekend in l A. So nothing makes
me happier than rain. Yeah. So between the Taylor album
and the Harry Show and the book, announcement. I'm on
like adrenaline high as you should be. I'm probably gonna
(22:33):
take a nap later because I was out late for
the Harry Show. But it was worth it because you
know whose house it is. It's Harry's house. Fifteen nights.
It's insane. I don't know how he does it, fifteen nights.
At the Forum, they have a huge sign like they
do like the lights that say you know like and
they do the lights for other artists, but they have
these huge letters that are on top of the Forum
(22:54):
that's a Harry's house. And I've never seen that before.
I'm trying to think because we went just last year
he was on his other tour. Yeah it was. It's
only been in year. The man does not rest. He
doesn't need are He doesn't need rest. That man, I
don't know. He might eventually need some rest, but he is.
He the TikTok videos, Like my algorithm has let me
(23:18):
know that I enjoy watching Harry style videos because I
get a lot of them on my for you page
and I stay, I sit and watch you watch them all.
Yeah it was great, Yeah, it was great. I haven't been,
but it sounds great. I can't wait almost like I'm like,
I need to go back again. I'm know, yeah, because
we didn't stay for the encore because I was trying
to be responsible at it for work. I know, Okay,
(23:41):
we should go and stay for the encore. Yeah. Um,
Haley and I went back to the place that we
met this weekend for the first time since we met
four years ago. I saw you post that, but I
think we should get to that after a break. Why
after we take a break? Why? Okay, fine, okay, we
(24:15):
are back after a very a very long break felt long. Um. So,
Hayley's friend Slash Old Publicists got married and they rented
out No Vacancy, which is like a to get married
no for like an after party, Like they had the wedding,
then they had the reception, and then they had like
an after party where they invited a lot more people.
(24:37):
Got it so smart, so thoughtful. Um, I've never heard
of that. Actually I don't mean either. So they rented
out No Vacancy, which is where Haley had her Expectations
album released party, which is where we met and we
never been back since then, and that's where the after
party wastch. So she was like, you have to like
let's have a moment. So, um, let's have a moment.
(24:59):
We went and we there was like these stairs where
the DJ booth is. That's exactly where we met, like
where she came up and introduced herself. And then there's
like a little room at this fireplace and that's where
we were talking and I was trying to set up
with my sister and we took our first photo together
that already looked like we were a couple. Yeah it did,
and um, it was so cool. It also like blew
my mind that we had never gone back until this point,
(25:21):
but it was really it just was like fun to Yeah.
I always have the feels, Yeah, I always have the
feels when I think about our relationship. In fact, last night,
so April will be five years. That is, it's been
like four and a half years. So last night I
had this thought and I was We're about to go
(25:42):
to sleep, and I was taking Phoebe out and I
had this like weird, like not anxious feeling, but there
was like this feeling that I felt like sad or something.
And I realized it was because we had had like
a fun day like just we were like ran errands
and I was like sad to go to bed, like
I was like sad that like our time was like
ending hanging out. I get that feeling sometimes on Monday morning,
(26:06):
I get like are you crying? Oh? I was like, wow,
I really emotional about it. I get that feeling on
Monday mornings because sometimes like that, I feel like we
have such a good weekend, and I get and I
love waking up to him, do you know what I mean?
Like I love waking up to him and having those
mornings and then Monday when I I leave before he
even opened his eyes, and I get like that emotion
(26:26):
too where I get really sad. I'm like, I'm not
gonna wake up to him this morning. I get really
it's weird, Like what is this feeling? It needs to
exit my body right now. I realized that I feel
it often, like especially on the weekends too, but like
last night, was actually able to put like the reason
to the feeling, like I was able to place it,
and I was like, it's such a cute. I thought,
(26:48):
like that like shocked me that I just had this
revelation now right here, right now, because I thought, hey,
let me tell you, Becca is turning into a Tanya.
I see it happening. I think I'm more I'm way
more um like in touch with my emotions and like,
I don't think it's that I've never felt them, It's
(27:10):
that I'm learning to express them more. So, Like last
night I had that thought and instead of just like
keeping it and be like, oh that's nice, I like
shared it with Haley and she was like that is
so sweet. She was just like also shocked to your
(27:30):
But yeah, So that's why I do. That's why I
leave Robbie little notes. When I leave before he wakes up,
I leave like a note so that since he's not
waking up with me, he can like kind of wake
up with me. Yeah, like he he wakes up with
your words of my words, cetera, as a published authors.
(27:51):
But sometimes I do, like I'll write like a funny poem.
Sometimes it's naughty. Oh yeah, most of the times they're
pretty basic, like what did today say? Today's so he's
been working, like really hard. He worked throughout the whole weekend,
so today's was a little bit more. I can't wait
for this deal to be done. You've been putting so
much work into it. There's anything I can do to help.
You can't wait to kiss you at the end of
(28:12):
the day. It's pretty much it. That's really sweet. Today's
was basic. But when the writ is a naughty little limerick,
I do and I do enjoy those. I'd like to
hear those. Yeah, okay, well I don't have them there.
I leave them and then I don't know what he
does with them. He probably throws them away. Yeah, let's
hear naught an original one, but like, yeah, yeah, so
it would be something like, oh no, why do I
(28:35):
feel stressed regret asking for I'm all in like it
would be something like, um, you know, being away from
you for this many hours feels so wrong. I'll be
daydreaming about your dong or something. I'm literally was like, yeah,
(28:56):
you did not have me in the first s. I
was like, oh, that's pretty for you, honestly. Yeah, yeah,
I know. They're not like dirty, there's like naughty. You
never know with you, that's the one thing you always
keep us. Sometimes I'll draw a sketch of sorts. Yeah, okay,
well we don't need to see that. We'll leave that work.
(29:22):
And as f W, I don't know. I think that
Robbie might be someone who keeps them, so you know,
it's so funny. He keeps a lot of stuff. Like
I saw in the closet the other day, Like I
saw it's a giant pile of just like every card,
every letter, every like there's he keeps a lot of stuff.
(29:42):
But I think the daily notes I don't think he
keeps because most of them are just kind of like
ripped out of a notebook paper. But he keeps pretty
much everything that I've written. You should get like a
little box that he can just like I should get
him a box. Yeah, that's a good idea, Tanya box. Yeah,
that's cute. Yeah, actually will because they're just kind of
thrown in there. And I'm like, oh, you know what
(30:04):
I was thinking about. I was, I walked here today.
It's every like once a month. I'll do like a
walk to Tony's when I'm trying to like get fit,
and Becca is like early, which is never. I'm always.
I'm typically early when I walk. I think, because I
think you a lot for more time. Yes, Oh, so
I was listening to Taylor Slept and I can't remember
(30:25):
which song it was that provoked this thought, but let
me know if you'll resonate with this at all. I
was thinking about how sometimes like I feel like there's
been certain people in my life where like every if
there was like an article about me or anything, like,
they'd send it and be like, oh my gosh, like
I saw you, Like I just saw this article pop up.
(30:47):
That's so cool. And then if it's anything about like
my relationship with Haley, there's like they don't send anything
about it because like they don't agree or whatever. Okay,
So I was thinking about this, how this isn't specific
to like coming out or anything, but in general, we
have people who have these expectations for our lives, right,
(31:10):
and they celebrate it as long as it's going in
a direction that they approve of, and then when they
don't approve of it, they stop celebrating you. Right. So
the truth is they're not rooting for you. They're rooting
for themselves, right, and there are expectations of what they
see for you. That's like crazy, Like that's that's deep
(31:34):
hump because I'm proud of myself, Taylor slips let me there.
But um, I was just thinking about how like sometimes
we work so hard to please other people that we
forget ourselves and we're like, well, they were rooting for us.
But if they were only rooting for you to take
the path that they want to take, the path that
they wanted, or what they expected your life to look like,
(31:55):
or the choices you made, whether it's relationships, work, anything,
they weren't rooting for you. They were rooting for themselves.
I hate that. I hate what you're saying, though. I
hate that there are people out there that are like,
good for her, good for her, Oh she's in love. Yeah,
I don't agree with that. And you know that fifty
(32:17):
years from now, a hundred years from now, nobody's gonna
care about any of that stuff. So just be on
the right side of history and stop caring about that credit,
you know, not even that. It's like even like let's
say you're let's say somebody really wanted you to become
a dentist, and you were like, they had their they
had a long line of dentists in the family, and
then you were like, you know what, I really want
to be a veterinarian. And you don't become the veterinarian
(32:40):
because that your heart desires, because you want to just
make people happy, So you become the dentist and then
you're working every day in a job that your heart
does not belong in for for someone else. And then
you get to sixty an older age, and you look
back and you go, I had one I had one
(33:01):
life to do this, and I did. I did what
someone else wanted. I can't even tell you. I can't
even tell you how much I understand, Like I don't personally.
It's interesting because I've always kind of gone against the
path in terms of like my parents were never really
(33:21):
I mean, it was you know, they're serbian. It's like,
you know, doctor lawyer, that's like the path. I was
never going down that path, and I don't think they
ever expected me to. But there was never that that
when I told them what I wanted to do. There
was never that disappointment in their voices, do you know
what I mean? It was always just like okay, may
may maybe they didn't understand it at the time. There
was never like disappointment, you know what I mean. It
(33:42):
was always just like okay, like that's great, Like how
can I learn more? You know what I mean? Like
I never had that in certain ways. But I see
so many people that have done certain things in their life,
like married a specific person that was like a family friend,
that that was just like the safe choice and ended
up you know, getting divorced later on, or you know,
(34:03):
just like things that they knew in their heart wasn't
for them, but they were just doing what their family
had told them to do. And it really leads to
this life of just um, I don't want to say unfulfilled,
feeling unfulfilled, but there is that sense of just like
what am I doing this for? And like if you
compound that in two decades and decades and decades, you
(34:24):
wake up one day and you're just like, what am
I doing? And I also think that when you're doing
things for other people your whole life, like when that's
just like the structure that you live in, you don't
even you might not even realize that you've just done
it for everybody else until you do something that they're
not proud of or that they're not like, that they
don't agree with. And that's when you really you have
(34:46):
to make that decision like am I doing this for them?
Or am I living life for them or for me?
And yeah, it's pretty I mean I think we see
it all the time with people, whether it's personal or not.
You know. Yeah, so anyways that I had an epiphany.
That epiphany is a strong one that I think I
(35:07):
think a lot of people can really too. We'll leave
you with that for our next break, and we'll come
back with emails. Alright. I hope you had a nice
(35:29):
long break pondering. Our last was some good stuff. BECA,
that was some good stuff right there. Thank you so much.
You can hear twenties in your sixties. I love that.
If Harry Style's concert taught me anything it's that. I
love that live in my twenties and my sixties. You go, girl,
I can't remember if it was a guy or girl.
It is funny though, because I think as we continue
(35:52):
to get older, there's that thought like I used to
see um like older people who were like having fun
and being like what like you're still allowed to like
have fun when you're that age, like you know, and
and when you grow up in a certain culture, it's
like they need to act their age, you know, like
they're too old for that. You're not. You're really not
(36:13):
like we I think as a society put limitations on
things because of age, and we gotta stop doing that.
I'm not here for it. Live your twenties in your
sixties if you want. Actually, chapter in my book about that.
I can't wait to read it about like the people
who um I don't want to say like their claim
(36:34):
to fame, but like they got well known and later
on in life, you know, it's like you don't have everything.
The guy I think of finally made it big on
like Dad to with the Stars. I think he was
in his fifties. Yeah, like far Awang, And there's like
all these different people in their forties fifties. It's like,
you know what, it's okay if you don't do it,
(36:57):
just to say you need to do it by thirty Yeah. Um,
this is going to be a short conversation because I
didn't finish the episode. But Grace's Anatomy this week? Do
we have thoughts? Oh? You see, Tanya? Well, I got through,
like almost to the end, and I was just kind
of like it wasn't as strong as the first two
(37:19):
for sure, but is it still better than what we've
been getting? I was very happy with it. My sister
texts me and goes, why does why do we continue
to have to watch Owen have sex scenes? Although I
will say I thought he looked good this episode. He
got a fresh haircut. He looked like more put together
(37:39):
than he's looked recently, which I appreciated. I need the
interns having more sex. Okay, so the what's his name?
I know him as Harry And if I say Harry
Seaman in Easy Girl, I say Easy Girl. We're still
learning names, but I literally there was a moment before
they had sex where I was like, they're gonna hook up.
It's gonna be like Alex and Izzy. And then Harry
(38:02):
Shum has this aura. He has this aura about him
that's just like SEXU out a sexual aura. Should we
have him on the show. We should try and get
him on the show. We should. It's like you can
cut the tension when he's around with like a knife. Yeah,
(38:26):
all right. I think they're making him out to be
the new Krev. Yes. Dr Kwan, Doctor Daniel Kwan. Yes.
And then we and I did enjoy the conversation between
Meredith and Griffith, whose grandma has Alzheimer's, because I obviously
those parallel lines. And first of all, I will have
(38:48):
to acknowledge that Meredith Gray has had the best hair
since season one, and it just continues to look fantastic. Yeah,
she's looking good. This season, she's looking great. Um, not
that that's what it's about, but she looks right. Yeah.
And then we did get insight into what's the other
interns name that we missed last oh um Ya Yasuda.
(39:10):
She said that she doesn't sleep with men. She's like,
only sleep with women. So that was some personal information
that we hadn't heard before. And wait, I literally can
I just tell you that I actually wanted to watch
Gray's Anatomy on Thursday night when it was live on television,
which I have wanted to do in a very long time. Unfortunately,
(39:32):
I did not watch it because of Taylor. Here's what
I know. I'm always surprised when it's already over. I'm like, well,
that was it that flew by? That's saying a lot,
because I think that says a lot because in the
past it's been a bit of a slog some weech
with it, and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's over already,
can you believe it? And then the Zola being a
genius of it all, that's interesting and that's going to
be an interesting plot line to follow. Well, at first,
(39:54):
I was just like rolling my eyes because I'm like,
of course like her parents or geniuses. But now I
forgot about the panic attack and how the two could
like coincide and it's something deeper than that and like
actually very interesting um to learn about. So Dr marshan
(40:14):
Zolo's interactions I like it. Yeah, alright, great, we're still
on the up and up on UM. Shall we get
into emails? Yeah, there's your front door bell and that's
probably a delivery kind of thank you. I just started listening. Well, welcome.
That is great. You know, we've so many scrubbers have
(40:35):
been here for years, and we're always happy to add
to the to the group. I love some advice from
the cast. When I first started dating my fiance, I
told them I'd been in multiple relationships. I told them
this because they told me they had been in numerous
relationships as well. We were long difftance and they were
meeting my family for the first time. I'm nervous that
my family members will say something like, ah, it's sure
(40:57):
great to meet her first boyfriend. For example, I haven't
told him that I really haven't been with a lot
of a lot of relationships. I asked my therapist for advice.
She told me not to tell them and smile if
anyone says anything, what do you think? Can we get
a summary? So she told her current partner that she's
been with a lot of people, had a lot of relationships,
(41:18):
a lot of relationships, which is not true. And now
this partner, who I believe she refers, who has her
boyfriend because me and the family for the first time,
and she's worried some of the family is going to
mention him being the first boyfriend and that's going to
be a problem. So how does she handle this? Does
she warned her family not to say anything? Does she
tell the boyfriend Okay, look, I've been in a lot
(41:38):
of relationships. What does she do? See? I read this.
This is so fascinating. I read this differently as and
she only told her boyfriend that this is her first,
that this isn't her first relationship, but her family doesn't
know she's been in multiple relationships. No, I think Mark
has it right, because that's I read it. Do you
(42:01):
get what I'm saying? Mark? Yeah? I think, yes, I
see what you're saying, and so I'm reading it over again. No,
I think she I think she lied to her partner fiance.
I think she lied her fiance and said I've been
in many relationships just like you, and that isn't true,
and now she feels guilty about it and isn't sure
(42:23):
what to do. I'm going to give some advice that
you might not want to hear. The truth will set
thy free. I agree, it's not a big deal. I mean,
the fact that he's your fiance and you've kept the
sharade up for this long is a little bit sketch.
But I just think it's it's not that big of
(42:45):
a deal that you haven't had a lot of serious relationships,
Like it's to me, that's not a big deal at all.
So I feel like you should just come clean and
just say I was feeling insecure at the beginning of
our relationship and that's why I said it. I'm really
sorry are line is not great, But I just think,
don't put your family, don't make your family lie like
(43:06):
don't just like, don't add to it, you know what
I mean, because eventually it is going to come out
and he's just gonna be like, why have you been
lying this whole time? When I start compounding it's not great.
I just like, part of me is like y'all or fiancee.
So this feels very This to me feels very insignificant
because it's like, Hey, when we first started dating, I
(43:28):
got so nervous because you had been in multiple relationships.
And I said the same, But that's not true, Like
I'm really excited for my family to meet you and
and just keep it casual. I mean, I don't think
it's that. But he loves you like he loves to you,
doesn't matter. In fact, he might be like, that's great,
I'm glad you haven't been in multiple relationships. Yeah. Look,
(43:52):
you said them a lot, and then you said boyfriends.
I'm a little confused on the gender here, but assuming
it is a boyfriend, he's gonna be thrilled, because the
opposite would not be thrilled if you told him you
were he was your first, and then I like, by
the way I was with twenty other guys, he's not
gonna be happy about that, But this way, I had
a ton of extu relationships. Sure. Actually, no, you're the
only one. He's gonna be thrilled about that. And it's sweet.
(44:14):
You were you were weren't sure, you were nervous, you
didn't know what to say. It's sweet. He'll love it.
I think I think you were good here. I think
you're good to tell him the same. Although I don't
know why the therapist is telling you not to know.
I wonder, I wonder if we haven't, if she the therapist,
is information we don't have, maybe very possible since we
(44:34):
have right. All right, Well, this one's anonymous, she says,
I'll try to keep this short. How would you both
feel if one of you were invited to the other
surprise engagement and you find out later they didn't show
up because they went to a casual dinner instead of
My childhood best friend got engaged the day before me. Crazy.
(44:55):
I know both her and her new fiance were invited
to my engagement by my fiance a couple of weeks prior,
surprised everyone's here. Well, my friend told my fiance she
would try to make it, but ultimately didn't show up
because of a casual dinner. She texted me asking about
the details of my engagement, but I didn't even get
a phone call. I know it sounds silly, but I
was thrilled when she got engaged. But I was thrilled
(45:20):
when she got engaged, even though her now fiance put
her through hell at one point. I needed every detail
because I knew she was happy. I feel like that
is how any best friend would feel and act. Also,
I found out she got engaged hours after it happened
on Instagram. It was just one of those moments of
me feeling that I may consider her my best friend,
but does she not consider me? Hers? Am I crazy
(45:41):
for having these feelings and being hurt by this? I
let it go, but I do think about it still,
and I'm just more careful now. But who I choose
to spend my time with and who I consider her
best friend? Listen, I don't I identify as Rebecca. I
mean I identify as a Becca I and I would
be devastated by this because finding out something this significant
(46:08):
on Instagram is like I feel like those are the
last people to know, right, Yeah, Like if Tanya didn't
at least have me in her like top five people
that she faced time with the ring like in like
this Taylor ly top five Taylor Lyric top five, Yeah,
I'd be like I would be thinking about not like,
(46:31):
oh where does our relationship stand? But just like huh,
I totally have that wrong. The whole time friendship, I
get engaged, I post pictures of that night. Don't tell
you like that just is not even a thing the
way I would have to just grip my teeth and
be like so happy. She must have been so overwhelmed
that she forgot. I'd be so pissed. Yes, And I
(46:56):
think that obviously there's some things that like we prioritize,
like some things that might mean more to one person
than the other person. But I think an engagement is
like pretty cool, like people realize the significance of it.
So like even when I first kissed Hayley, like I
(47:17):
think Tanya was like definitely one of the first two
people I called, if not the first and told her.
So I think it's just like I think your feelings
being hurt is so valid. And I don't know if
you have a conversation or just kind of maybe accept
like yeah, maybe you put more value and effort into
the friendship or you can just yeah, like I would
(47:39):
say say that you you can express your feelings. My
feelings were hurt. I thought we were better friends than that,
and just like kind of leave it and just take
that as take this as an example of kind of
where your friendship stands, you know what I mean, maybe
you don't put as much effort in. Yeah, I think,
like I also agree, expressing your feelings not just like
burying them in and being like, Okay, I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna like be a burden by expressing my feelings.
(48:01):
It's her time. But I think being able to say, like, hey,
it really hurt my feelings that you weren't a part
of this day, and and and for like a casual dinner.
You know, I think that's fair, and then she can
however she reacts as we'll be telling. I would just
add that she answered her own question here in her
(48:22):
last line when she said, I'm just being more careful
to I spend my time with and who I consider
her best friend. Yeah, that's our advice. Do that, be
more careful and and you're not her best friend, and
that sucks, but it's good that you know, and you
can move on and get a better one. I also
think sometimes like the childhood best friend thing is hard
because like from a child to adult, you change so much,
(48:42):
who you are, your interests, what you make, seasons of
life too. You know, it's interesting because like when I
was in college, I had like my best group of
girlfriends and then right after graduated they all got married
and had babies, and I was just in such a
different life stage and season and so it's like, excuse me,
there is something to that where like life stages further through,
(49:09):
further from other people, but like it can still all
be good. It doesn't have to be bad, like does
not have to be bad blood or you know what
I mean, any sort of negativity. It's just like, is
what it is. And I think it's like, we're okay,
where am I putting my effort into with this friendship still?
So I'm sorry that sucks, But congratulations on your engagement. Congratulations.
(49:30):
We're very happy, so happy for you. All Right, that'll
wrap her up with the bow. Time wraps her up.
She still got to shine, Isn't it crazy? In a
few months, I'm gonna be holding a book that you wrote,
like a hardcover book with the front yes wild oh
(49:52):
tany you mentioned you mentioned what you learned writing this
book and how much respect you have for actual novelists. No.
I thought that was interesting. I have so much respect
for people that write like chapter books, you know what
I mean, Like a chapter book that has a beginning, middle, end,
and the chapters all come together to create some cohesive story.
Because a devotional is very bite size, you know, it's
(50:14):
a hundred days. Every day is a different scripture, a
different interpretation, a different story. It's very bite sized, digestible.
And also you know, it was it was just so interesting,
Like I was like, this is so wild. I have
so much respect. If anybody that I ever admire or
respect in this industry writes a book, I'm going to
(50:36):
read it because I know how much effort it took,
you know what I mean, how much effort in time.
And so now I'm going to be like that girl.
I'm going to be like book girl, kind of book
send it to Tanya. But I do think there's like
I know what you're saying, but to give you credit,
(50:57):
like coming up like interpreting a small passage and making
a whole book of those types of things is also
a lot of like mental work. And because we didn't
want everything, we didn't want um to be super redundant.
You know, we got to a point where we were like,
we're kind of saying the same thing and we didn't
want it to be that. So we really had to
kind of like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. And then
(51:17):
like a novelist, you can kind of take the story
wherever you wanted to, Like, any idea is not too
crazy because you're writing a book, you know, so everything.
Everyone has their gifts and talents and their lanes, and
right now yours is this one. Might be might be
a fiction novelist one day too. We don't know. Hey, Hi,
(51:39):
I'm the author. It's me me, Hi, I'm the author.
You should do by, because now we're saying for the author. Yeah,
we're ending the podcast by. Wait, how's it go again? By?
It's me, I'm the author. It's me. Bye. We love you,
(52:02):
I love you. Bye m
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I
Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, We are scrubbing in scrub
a dub dub on a Monday with a lot to discuss. Well,
first things first, I'm sitting next to a number one
bestseller and Christian Devotionals on Amazon probably all the other
(00:24):
ones too published author, How does it feel to tell
the world It was such a weird feeling like I
was feeling because it's been such a long time coming
and I've been working on it for so long that
it felt very like like butterflies. Yeah, like nervous, but
(00:44):
like excited, um, like all the things when you release
something on social media these days, like you don't know
what the response is going to be or if you're
if people are even gonna see it because of like
the A I was like, I supposed photos, so who
knows if people are gonna see these? But you look,
I mean, I felt like you got an overwhelming response
(01:05):
to and reco It was so and the messages are like.
The thing is the amazing story behind this book is
that it all stemmed from the Our Highs and Lows
episode we did. I think Our twenty was like the
ending of and we were talking about our highs and
lows of the year, and I was saying how my
(01:25):
low was that I spent all this energy and money
and effort and time into this book proposal that didn't
go anywhere, And this amazing scrub sister reached out and
was just like, I believe in you so much. I
want to connect you. My aunt works for a Christian publishing,
you know I want you to I told her about you,
I want to connect you, and it all it was
(01:46):
like such a god thing because it was like the
uh ghostwriter who was helping me on my first proposal
came back to me and said, I believe in you
so much. I want to do another proposal with you.
Pro Boto. I really believe in in you so like
I was just I was constantly crying because like everything
when it was happening just felt very meant to be.
And um, and then the partnering where Kyle had been
(02:07):
talking about wanting to do something with like more purpose
and and encouraging people and something that people can actually
hold onto, and so it all kind of serendipitously happened
at the same time. And it's been a long time coming. Uh.
We've been working on it for a long time, almost
two years. Almost two years. Yeah, So it feels really
(02:29):
really good to be able to talk about it and
share it and get excited about it. It's actually happening,
and it's something that I'm so proud of because it's
like it's so representative of who I am and what
I stand for, and it just feels really good. Well,
I think I speak for all of us when we
say we're very proud of you and adding that title
(02:52):
to your name, amongst so many other things. And I know,
like the whole scrubbing In community is just like so
excited and read to read the words from both of
you and be encouraged. So I really and the fact
that it's number one Christian devotional on Amazon, I gotta
believe the Scrubbers are a big portion of that for sure,
(03:13):
for sure. And like the messages I was getting yesterday
from the Scrubbers was that of just like, um, you know,
we saw you fail, we saw you fail, but you
didn't give up. This was something that you really wanted
and you kept going and like but I literally like
on and off crying pretty much all day yesterday, and
like Robbie was saying the same thing because he was
there when I got, you know, the called like nobody
wanted my book, and I was just like a mess.
(03:34):
You know, it's like this this rejection in such a
deep way. Um. And he was like you didn't let that,
you know, you didn't give up. You kept going and
like you did it again and like a lot of
people don't do that, and like he was like saying
all these words, and I was just like I I
was just constantly crying yesterday. Well. And I also feel
like if I correct me, if I'm wrong, when you
were getting the calls that were saying like no, it
(03:55):
was because like they wanted it to be something that
you were and you weren't willing to compromise like your
truth and who you are for the guest, which I
think is like a really important lesson for people to remember,
like you don't have to like adjust yourself for anybody
(04:15):
to get the guests, Like it just might be a
different time plan. Yeah, And that's the thing to him, like,
look now that I'm an author, Oh now she's an author. Um,
I could eventually at some point do the dating book
that I never got to do. Do you know what
I mean, Like that could come down the line, but
this definitely feels like meant to be what it was
(04:36):
supposed to be. And um, it's gonna be fun. The
rollout is gonna be fun because there's like some fun
surprises and things. So it's just it's gonna be a
fun end of the year. Are we going on a
Taylor Swift Easter Egg journey? No, not quite Easter Egg.
I'm tired, I know, I mean, I mean, it was
like such a whirlwind of emotions this weekend. Yeah, there
(04:58):
was a lot happening, a lot like we should. So anyways,
I want to, uh, I'm gonna be obviously sharing more
about the book as it gets closer, but um, thank
you guys for all just like the support and love
and words and um pre orders and it's like crazy,
we were number two and fifty or something out of
all the books on Amazon this morning. That is insane
(05:19):
and it's not even out. It's not even out, so
it was really crazy, and so I just want to say,
thank you guys. That's really cool. We're all so proud
of you. They can't wait. Thank to have it in
my hands. Oh yeah, signed copy obviously, yeah. Um so
amongst Tanya officially being in all four, we were blessed.
(05:42):
We were absolutely blessed by the one and only. I
don't think it took me like less than twenty four
hours to figure out the Hi. It's me, I'm an author,
it's I. Did I saw your strumming in so it's funny? Yeah?
(06:02):
Um yeah, I mean where do we begin? Where do
we begin? I wrote, like my top five, and then
like why I love them? I wrote in my notes, Well,
I had the same favorite song, which I was surprised
that because typically I listen for hooks and she listens
for lyrics. And this time, for the first time, we
sink up Duke. Those two collided. That's very interesting. Congrats
(06:26):
you guys. It's very Becca knows wo. Becca has like
a essay on why the songs are her favorite? Wow? Okay, great, Yes,
Jeweled was our favorite. Um, I too love be Jeweled.
It's not my top five. I mean wanting the penthouse
of somebody's heart when you're in the basement in his
(06:47):
life is like the most relatable lyric I have ever
felt to my core, but like in such a poetic way.
No I would ever say that I know, like just
describing that feeling. But she's a poet, I know, and
it's just like, what are you? What are you gonna do?
A diamond pass to shine like we have, We're gonna shine.
So screw you your little basement men keeping us in
the basement. Well, I'm going to start with Labyrinth, which
(07:13):
some people love, and then some people are like, I
don't get the hype. Robbie, Yeah, Robbie does not get Labyrinth.
Um Becca is more of like the whimsical Taylor. Like
Becca really likes the whimsical romantical Taylor. Is what I've gathered.
This was what I wrote about Labyrinth. What's not to Love?
In all caps. It feels like you're ascending into another dimension.
(07:37):
The feelings of heartbreak, wondering if you'll ever get over
that person, that crush that the lyric I'll be getting
over you my whole life, to the feeling of falling
in love again, and the fear and the excitement of
falling fast. You would break your back to make me
break a smile. It gives me feelings of nine that
(07:57):
you're in love. Yeah, which is an one of my favorites.
Interesting romantic, it's so romantic. I like the words, but
again that's a little whimsical for me. Okay, okay, whimsical.
I like a boppy Okay, so you like be Jeweled
because it's saying like hear me, roar, sparkle no matter what.
(08:18):
But you were so into Evermore and folklore, Jerry whimsical.
I know. Interesting, but but my favorites in those, My
favorites in those are the more boppier ones like Willow
and Invisible String. Yeah, but I feel like Labyrinth is
on that same level. Labyrinth, It's just not in my
top Okay, okay, so I'll give it to you, Okay,
(08:39):
thank you so much. Um Midnight Rain, yeah, you guys. So,
just looking at the list of the titles, I chose
that as the one I was going to love the most.
I didn't know what it would sound like or anything,
and it sounded so different than what I expected. It's
one of my favorite songs I think I've ever heard
on first listen because it was so different and I
(09:01):
loved like the random voice coming in at the beginning,
like it starts and you're like, who the heck is that?
What is that? And the pop of it and then um,
I like the relatability to having someone who is perfect,
like has everything that you want and treat you like perfection,
but you're wanting the pain. You're wanting someone that sparks
(09:22):
the challenge and the passion inside you. I can't relate
to that, okay, but I respect it. I respect it.
I like I like the love, you know, like I
like the steady eddies. I don't need the like crazy Carls.
But she's like she's like you were wanting a bride
and I was chasing the fame like I was. I
(09:42):
was doing what I needed to do for myself, which
I don't want to be a settle down. But you
know what, I figured out that this song was about
Taylor Lautner very quickly because I was listening to lyrics
and I was like, who is she dating when she
was like ascending and like going after her fame and
he was like this really sweet guy, nothing was wrong
with him, him like great family. And I was like, oh,
Taylor Launer, this is not confirmed this, but I felt
(10:07):
pretty strong about that theory and the Internet agrees with me. Yeah.
People were trying to say, um, yeah, but I feel
like she was already quite famous. She was no longer
chasing the fame. The fame was chasing her. We were
all chasing her exactly, the fame and us correct. My
next one's anti anti hero. Okay, this wasn't originally my
(10:29):
top five, is what I wrote. This wasn't originally my
top five, but it's grown on me exponentially. I love
the self awareness and the vulnerability to a to a
fun beat, it's confusing for the brain, like you're dancing
and it feels playful, but the lyrics are vulnerable and poetic. Yeah.
I like this one because it's about her, Like it's
self deprecating, which I enjoy, and the the sexy baby
(10:52):
lyric like I it's so random, but like makes sense,
and it's the part I continue. I'm like, find myself
just repeating. That's how I feel about the cat purring
in her lap from Karma, like I keep I can't
get that visual out of my Tanya said she wants
a cat just so she can see what it's like
to cat her in my lap, so that I can
feel this euphoric feeling Taylor speaks of. I think you
(11:14):
have other things, and that's in that song that you
don't have to commit today. I've just never experienced it,
so I feel like it's something that I should pursue. Okay,
my next one is Mastermind. Yeah, like we have none
of the same favorites. So the lyrics in this song
and the meaning and the melody and production, it's Chef's kiss.
(11:36):
This is another journey for the mind. Like you're confusing
and your upbeat dancing, and then you stop and listen
and it's like mind blowing. The part about being a
kid and having to plan out everything to make sure
people like you and their please with you, and that
leading into adulthood and how you like navigate work in relationships.
It's just it's it's Mastermind. Okay, she has no words.
(11:57):
I really that one I don't understand. Maybe I'll give
it a couple of mores. Maroon is just so romantic.
I feel like it's a prelude, prelude to New Year's Day,
like it was the night before New Year's Day. Her
song on that's not my favorite. Yeah, it's interesting, good.
I love the course in the melody of that. I said, stunning.
And then um, my other favorites are Karma, Bejeweled, and Vigilante.
(12:21):
See that's where my list comes in okay, because the
Jeweled is like it's just pique Tanya, like that song
was made for me. Like at that song I could
not get past. I kept listening to it on repeat.
I just love everything about it. Vigilante is just so
different and unique and cool. It gives me like Billie
Eilish vibes, and the lyrics are just so gnarly that
(12:47):
it's like it makes me feel a certain way. Yeah.
Before I like, before I really listened to the lyrics,
I was like, is this hypothetically about Scooter or Kanye?
Like Kanye, I think we're Scooter. I think it is
too because I see her being friends with his ex wife,
and I don't think she's friends with Kim Kardashian. I
would love that if they were, though, Yeah, okay. And
(13:09):
then Karma. I just love Karma Karma. It's just everything
about it is like just pure perfection. And then I
will tell you what a sha Kota is really sliding
in there with a strong it's a really good bridge. Yes,
and the thought of like somebody taking her childhood away
and like she wished she would have never danced with
(13:30):
the devil. I feel like we all have somebody like
and from our past that we would just wish we
never had gone there. They took something from us, you
know what I mean? Like I don't have that, but
I think a lot of people probably do. Yeah, so
that song like that one really gets me. Okay, I
switched that out with Lavender Hayes because that was a
top contender but interesting, number one, number one track, number
one track and number four in my heart. Okay, what
(13:52):
are your what are your runner ups or yours? Like
almost made the top five but didn't. My honorable mentions
were we go Lavender Hayes. I do like vigilant O. No,
I do like um labyrinthe Labyrinth. And there's one other
one out that I'm forgetting stand by Still on the Beach. No.
(14:15):
I really like that one to actually Midnight Rain. Oh yeah,
I mean Midnight Rain is an absolute an anti hero. Okay.
The thing is that nothing the album is in Paris
so good. That's it right there? Eastern. Have you written notes?
(14:38):
You know? I have? I jotted down some stuff. I
love Lavender Hayes. Okay, it's the song that connected the
most of me. I love Snow on the Beach. I know, Uh,
we're really looking forward to some Lana. We love Laana
in this house. Um, I hope to hear more of her,
but it never happened. Um. But those are the two
songs that that I connected with the most. Um, and
(14:58):
I haven't given it as deep a dive. That's fair.
It is funny because I realized, Um, Normally, when I
like experienced Taylor albums, I've usually been like by myself.
This is the first time I've been like with Robbie
the like NonStop when it came out, and he was
such a good sport. He was listening to it on
repeat for a while. But you know me, like I
(15:19):
like to listen to the same song over and over
and over and over and over again. He was like,
can we just like switch it up? Maybe? So I
had to. I didn't give it as deep of a
dive as I would have normally, but I definitely gave
it like a good listens. What's the song you had
to like control yourself the most from just playing it
on full repeat? Mine's Midnight Rain but jeweled. Yeah, like
(15:44):
like with no rules you have just listening on constantly
playing in my head right now as we speak, it
just it gets it. It puts me in a headspace
that it tickles my brain or something. I don't know.
It's so funny too, because I feel like everybody, like
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine
(16:05):
and she was just kind of like complaining. She's like,
what is she going to get, like stop singing about
these relationships she had ten years ago? And I got
so angry because I'm like, these are her truths, and
these are the pillars that have created her life, and like,
these are events that helped shape her become the woman
that she is today, and these are the span of
her life and and you can't rob somebody of those
(16:28):
pivotal moments and memories and like inspiration. I don't think
that person gets songwriting because people will literally like songwriters
will be like, okay, like did you ever have a
situation where like this happening It's like, oh yeah, like
a long time ago, and then they create a whole
narrative just based on this like thought, it's not that
like she's probably not thinking about it that much. Well,
(16:48):
I got on my yeah, I get it. I get defensive, um,
but it is crazy because I feel like I was
just watching all the things like all the theories coming out,
and I don't know, it's just what she's able to
achieve and and the like mystery and the mystique and
the intrigue. I think it's just like so cool. She's
(17:09):
a mastermind, the mastermind. I did see you, remember that time.
I was like, I just feel like sometimes like I
have this thought where I'm like, maybe I want to
have kids so I can show them, Taylor Swift, that's
your thought. And then I'm like around a kid and
like a restaurant, I'm like, Okay, I'm good. No, you
(17:31):
don't want to have kids to show them, Taylor Swift. Yeah,
I don't think I don't need to show them that much.
You know, there will be other kids to show's, nephews, etcetera. Anyways,
she's a genius. I feel honored to live in the lifetime.
Oh you got a PR box or the box? I
got the box? Did you get the sweatsuit? Did you
open it? I got the sweatsuit? Is it not cozy?
(17:51):
I didn't get one. Haley got it. I haven't put
it on yet. It's in my car. Okay, Haley got it.
And it is one of the softest merch piece is
I've ever felt. Of course, she felt very um meant
for me because I've been like, really, just I just work.
I love a sweat st and like I live in
a sweat set. It's just kind of become my norm.
(18:12):
And so when I opened the box and saw that
it was a sweat set, I just felt very much
like seen and heard and appreciate it. Yeah, she was like,
you know who would love this set? Yeah? Yeah, author.
I love that there's something printed on the top of
the hood because as someone that looks down a lot
of people, I like something for me to look at.
(18:35):
If you have the hood up very tall person next
to you, they get a little treat to. Yeah. I
can't wait to wash it. I wanna wash it and
put that bad way right on. You'll be seeing me
in that tomorrow, Well I see you tomorrow or just
the Instagram story just like in general, be popping around
town and that sweatsuit in twenty four hours. Okay, So
we love the album. It's truly close to perfection. I
(19:00):
don't know if there's any anything I'd change. Um. And
then you go to Harry Styles last night for opening night.
How did Robbie handle you being in the same room
with Harry. I know, I know, I made my cab broke.
I did a real about the Harry Show, and I
brought my boyfriend to go watch my boyfriend. And I
(19:21):
can't tell if, like m I can't tell if he
was like annoyed by it or not. I would definitely
be annoyed by that, Hailey said, brought my girlfriend to
see my girlfriend. I'd be like, he plays into the joke,
and I think he thinks it's funny. But then I'm like,
sometimes I'm like, I probably wouldn't appreciate that. He admitted
that that's the only time he's ever felt jealous in
(19:43):
relationship only time. All the people you interview see he
has no jealousy sept For Harry Styles. Yeah, well it
was time. He was like, it's we need to celebrate,
so we are going to go and we are going
to see Harry. At the forum, it was ah star
sighting there was I saw Hillary Duff with her family,
(20:04):
and saw Jessica Alba with her kids. Ellena DeGeneres was there,
Keenan Thompson was there, Olivia Wilde was there. Wow. Yeah,
but you know that's a very random group of sight.
But yes, very random, but equally like shocking, you know,
like my star eyes were like, whoa, Yeah, I love
that you still get star eyes because a lot of
(20:24):
people in your position would be very jaded by what
you do. You and Easton both it's very like, I
love it. It's one of my favorite things that y'all
get so well. The cool thing is about the Harry
Show is he's like in the center and he really
does go around the stage so like and pretty um
uh frequently frequently. Yeah, Like he's not like he hasn't
(20:45):
just played at the front. He plays at the front.
He plays the back. He moves so much and so
you don't have there's not a bad seat in the house.
And so I just really loved it. He helped a
girl um come out during the show. I believe her
name was Serena uh um. But it was really cool.
He like took somebody's boa and he was like, when
I put this boa over my head, like you're going
(21:06):
to be out, and so he was like playing with
the boa and like running around with it and he
just lifted up over his head and everybody started screaming yeah.
And then um, there was another person that I had
a sign that said, um, I'm living my twenties in
my sixties, and I was like, that's so cool. Yeah,
and he was just like, you know, you can leave
(21:27):
your live your twenties whenever, and you know, just about
living your best life whenever, you know, sees the moment
and just felt very like, yeah, I'm an author. What
was your favorite song life? I enjoyed Satellite Live because
he was really like flying around the stage. That's that's
like that song. Hearing that live is only like that's
(21:49):
the main reason I'm like dying to go see it.
The show and then the cinema was really fun. Robbie's
like that's his new favorite song. He's obsessed with it.
So we enjoyed that. And then um, I also loved
Adore You Classic Classic. It just like a vibe you
did a lot. There was a lot happening for you
this week. Lot's to a lot of emotions, a lot
(22:12):
of emotions. Yeah, enjoy thank you so much, You're welcome. Yeah,
it was a lot of emotions. And then there was
like rain this weekend in l A. So nothing makes
me happier than rain. Yeah. So between the Taylor album
and the Harry Show and the book, announcement. I'm on
like adrenaline high as you should be. I'm probably gonna
(22:33):
take a nap later because I was out late for
the Harry Show. But it was worth it because you
know whose house it is. It's Harry's house. Fifteen nights.
It's insane. I don't know how he does it, fifteen nights.
At the Forum, they have a huge sign like they
do like the lights that say you know like and
they do the lights for other artists, but they have
these huge letters that are on top of the Forum
(22:54):
that's a Harry's house. And I've never seen that before.
I'm trying to think because we went just last year
he was on his other tour. Yeah it was. It's
only been in year. The man does not rest. He
doesn't need are He doesn't need rest. That man, I
don't know. He might eventually need some rest, but he is.
He the TikTok videos, Like my algorithm has let me
(23:18):
know that I enjoy watching Harry style videos because I
get a lot of them on my for you page
and I stay, I sit and watch you watch them all.
Yeah it was great, Yeah, it was great. I haven't been,
but it sounds great. I can't wait almost like I'm like,
I need to go back again. I'm know, yeah, because
we didn't stay for the encore because I was trying
to be responsible at it for work. I know, Okay,
(23:41):
we should go and stay for the encore. Yeah. Um,
Haley and I went back to the place that we
met this weekend for the first time since we met
four years ago. I saw you post that, but I
think we should get to that after a break. Why
after we take a break? Why? Okay, fine, okay, we
(24:15):
are back after a very a very long break felt long. Um. So,
Hayley's friend Slash Old Publicists got married and they rented
out No Vacancy, which is like a to get married
no for like an after party, Like they had the wedding,
then they had the reception, and then they had like
an after party where they invited a lot more people.
(24:37):
Got it so smart, so thoughtful. Um, I've never heard
of that. Actually I don't mean either. So they rented
out No Vacancy, which is where Haley had her Expectations
album released party, which is where we met and we
never been back since then, and that's where the after
party wastch. So she was like, you have to like
let's have a moment. So, um, let's have a moment.
(24:59):
We went and we there was like these stairs where
the DJ booth is. That's exactly where we met, like
where she came up and introduced herself. And then there's
like a little room at this fireplace and that's where
we were talking and I was trying to set up
with my sister and we took our first photo together
that already looked like we were a couple. Yeah it did,
and um, it was so cool. It also like blew
my mind that we had never gone back until this point,
(25:21):
but it was really it just was like fun to Yeah.
I always have the feels, Yeah, I always have the
feels when I think about our relationship. In fact, last night,
so April will be five years. That is, it's been
like four and a half years. So last night I
had this thought and I was We're about to go
(25:42):
to sleep, and I was taking Phoebe out and I
had this like weird, like not anxious feeling, but there
was like this feeling that I felt like sad or something.
And I realized it was because we had had like
a fun day like just we were like ran errands
and I was like sad to go to bed, like
I was like sad that like our time was like
ending hanging out. I get that feeling sometimes on Monday morning,
(26:06):
I get like are you crying? Oh? I was like, wow,
I really emotional about it. I get that feeling on
Monday mornings because sometimes like that, I feel like we
have such a good weekend, and I get and I
love waking up to him, do you know what I mean?
Like I love waking up to him and having those
mornings and then Monday when I I leave before he
even opened his eyes, and I get like that emotion
(26:26):
too where I get really sad. I'm like, I'm not
gonna wake up to him this morning. I get really
it's weird, Like what is this feeling? It needs to
exit my body right now. I realized that I feel
it often, like especially on the weekends too, but like
last night, was actually able to put like the reason
to the feeling, like I was able to place it,
and I was like, it's such a cute. I thought,
(26:48):
like that like shocked me that I just had this
revelation now right here, right now, because I thought, hey,
let me tell you, Becca is turning into a Tanya.
I see it happening. I think I'm more I'm way
more um like in touch with my emotions and like,
I don't think it's that I've never felt them, It's
(27:10):
that I'm learning to express them more. So, Like last
night I had that thought and instead of just like
keeping it and be like, oh that's nice, I like
shared it with Haley and she was like that is
so sweet. She was just like also shocked to your
(27:30):
But yeah, So that's why I do. That's why I
leave Robbie little notes. When I leave before he wakes up,
I leave like a note so that since he's not
waking up with me, he can like kind of wake
up with me. Yeah, like he he wakes up with
your words of my words, cetera, as a published authors.
(27:51):
But sometimes I do, like I'll write like a funny poem.
Sometimes it's naughty. Oh yeah, most of the times they're
pretty basic, like what did today say? Today's so he's
been working, like really hard. He worked throughout the whole weekend,
so today's was a little bit more. I can't wait
for this deal to be done. You've been putting so
much work into it. There's anything I can do to help.
You can't wait to kiss you at the end of
(28:12):
the day. It's pretty much it. That's really sweet. Today's
was basic. But when the writ is a naughty little limerick,
I do and I do enjoy those. I'd like to
hear those. Yeah, okay, well I don't have them there.
I leave them and then I don't know what he
does with them. He probably throws them away. Yeah, let's
hear naught an original one, but like, yeah, yeah, so
it would be something like, oh no, why do I
(28:35):
feel stressed regret asking for I'm all in like it
would be something like, um, you know, being away from
you for this many hours feels so wrong. I'll be
daydreaming about your dong or something. I'm literally was like, yeah,
(28:56):
you did not have me in the first s. I
was like, oh, that's pretty for you, honestly. Yeah, yeah,
I know. They're not like dirty, there's like naughty. You
never know with you, that's the one thing you always
keep us. Sometimes I'll draw a sketch of sorts. Yeah, okay,
well we don't need to see that. We'll leave that work.
(29:22):
And as f W, I don't know. I think that
Robbie might be someone who keeps them, so you know,
it's so funny. He keeps a lot of stuff. Like
I saw in the closet the other day, Like I
saw it's a giant pile of just like every card,
every letter, every like there's he keeps a lot of stuff.
(29:42):
But I think the daily notes I don't think he
keeps because most of them are just kind of like
ripped out of a notebook paper. But he keeps pretty
much everything that I've written. You should get like a
little box that he can just like I should get
him a box. Yeah, that's a good idea, Tanya box. Yeah,
that's cute. Yeah, actually will because they're just kind of
thrown in there. And I'm like, oh, you know what
(30:04):
I was thinking about. I was, I walked here today.
It's every like once a month. I'll do like a
walk to Tony's when I'm trying to like get fit,
and Becca is like early, which is never. I'm always.
I'm typically early when I walk. I think, because I
think you a lot for more time. Yes, Oh, so
I was listening to Taylor Slept and I can't remember
(30:25):
which song it was that provoked this thought, but let
me know if you'll resonate with this at all. I
was thinking about how sometimes like I feel like there's
been certain people in my life where like every if
there was like an article about me or anything, like,
they'd send it and be like, oh my gosh, like
I saw you, Like I just saw this article pop up.
(30:47):
That's so cool. And then if it's anything about like
my relationship with Haley, there's like they don't send anything
about it because like they don't agree or whatever. Okay,
So I was thinking about this, how this isn't specific
to like coming out or anything, but in general, we
have people who have these expectations for our lives, right,
(31:10):
and they celebrate it as long as it's going in
a direction that they approve of, and then when they
don't approve of it, they stop celebrating you. Right. So
the truth is they're not rooting for you. They're rooting
for themselves, right, and there are expectations of what they
see for you. That's like crazy, Like that's that's deep
(31:34):
hump because I'm proud of myself, Taylor slips let me there.
But um, I was just thinking about how like sometimes
we work so hard to please other people that we
forget ourselves and we're like, well, they were rooting for us.
But if they were only rooting for you to take
the path that they want to take, the path that
they wanted, or what they expected your life to look like,
(31:55):
or the choices you made, whether it's relationships, work, anything,
they weren't rooting for you. They were rooting for themselves.
I hate that. I hate what you're saying, though. I
hate that there are people out there that are like,
good for her, good for her, Oh she's in love. Yeah,
I don't agree with that. And you know that fifty
(32:17):
years from now, a hundred years from now, nobody's gonna
care about any of that stuff. So just be on
the right side of history and stop caring about that credit,
you know, not even that. It's like even like let's
say you're let's say somebody really wanted you to become
a dentist, and you were like, they had their they
had a long line of dentists in the family, and
then you were like, you know what, I really want
to be a veterinarian. And you don't become the veterinarian
(32:40):
because that your heart desires, because you want to just
make people happy, So you become the dentist and then
you're working every day in a job that your heart
does not belong in for for someone else. And then
you get to sixty an older age, and you look
back and you go, I had one I had one
(33:01):
life to do this, and I did. I did what
someone else wanted. I can't even tell you. I can't
even tell you how much I understand, Like I don't personally.
It's interesting because I've always kind of gone against the
path in terms of like my parents were never really
(33:21):
I mean, it was you know, they're serbian. It's like,
you know, doctor lawyer, that's like the path. I was
never going down that path, and I don't think they
ever expected me to. But there was never that that
when I told them what I wanted to do. There
was never that disappointment in their voices, do you know
what I mean? It was always just like okay, may
may maybe they didn't understand it at the time. There
was never like disappointment, you know what I mean. It
(33:42):
was always just like okay, like that's great, Like how
can I learn more? You know what I mean? Like
I never had that in certain ways. But I see
so many people that have done certain things in their life,
like married a specific person that was like a family friend,
that that was just like the safe choice and ended
up you know, getting divorced later on, or you know,
(34:03):
just like things that they knew in their heart wasn't
for them, but they were just doing what their family
had told them to do. And it really leads to
this life of just um, I don't want to say unfulfilled,
feeling unfulfilled, but there is that sense of just like
what am I doing this for? And like if you
compound that in two decades and decades and decades, you
(34:24):
wake up one day and you're just like, what am
I doing? And I also think that when you're doing
things for other people your whole life, like when that's
just like the structure that you live in, you don't
even you might not even realize that you've just done
it for everybody else until you do something that they're
not proud of or that they're not like, that they
don't agree with. And that's when you really you have
(34:46):
to make that decision like am I doing this for them?
Or am I living life for them or for me?
And yeah, it's pretty I mean I think we see
it all the time with people, whether it's personal or not.
You know. Yeah, so anyways that I had an epiphany.
That epiphany is a strong one that I think I
(35:07):
think a lot of people can really too. We'll leave
you with that for our next break, and we'll come
back with emails. Alright. I hope you had a nice
(35:29):
long break pondering. Our last was some good stuff. BECA,
that was some good stuff right there. Thank you so much.
You can hear twenties in your sixties. I love that.
If Harry Style's concert taught me anything it's that. I
love that live in my twenties and my sixties. You go, girl,
I can't remember if it was a guy or girl.
It is funny though, because I think as we continue
(35:52):
to get older, there's that thought like I used to
see um like older people who were like having fun
and being like what like you're still allowed to like
have fun when you're that age, like you know, and
and when you grow up in a certain culture, it's
like they need to act their age, you know, like
they're too old for that. You're not. You're really not
(36:13):
like we I think as a society put limitations on
things because of age, and we gotta stop doing that.
I'm not here for it. Live your twenties in your
sixties if you want. Actually, chapter in my book about that.
I can't wait to read it about like the people
who um I don't want to say like their claim
(36:34):
to fame, but like they got well known and later
on in life, you know, it's like you don't have everything.
The guy I think of finally made it big on
like Dad to with the Stars. I think he was
in his fifties. Yeah, like far Awang, And there's like
all these different people in their forties fifties. It's like,
you know what, it's okay if you don't do it,
(36:57):
just to say you need to do it by thirty Yeah. Um,
this is going to be a short conversation because I
didn't finish the episode. But Grace's Anatomy this week? Do
we have thoughts? Oh? You see, Tanya? Well, I got through,
like almost to the end, and I was just kind
of like it wasn't as strong as the first two
(37:19):
for sure, but is it still better than what we've
been getting? I was very happy with it. My sister
texts me and goes, why does why do we continue
to have to watch Owen have sex scenes? Although I
will say I thought he looked good this episode. He
got a fresh haircut. He looked like more put together
(37:39):
than he's looked recently, which I appreciated. I need the
interns having more sex. Okay, so the what's his name?
I know him as Harry And if I say Harry
Seaman in Easy Girl, I say Easy Girl. We're still
learning names, but I literally there was a moment before
they had sex where I was like, they're gonna hook up.
It's gonna be like Alex and Izzy. And then Harry
(38:02):
Shum has this aura. He has this aura about him
that's just like SEXU out a sexual aura. Should we
have him on the show. We should try and get
him on the show. We should. It's like you can
cut the tension when he's around with like a knife. Yeah,
(38:26):
all right. I think they're making him out to be
the new Krev. Yes. Dr Kwan, Doctor Daniel Kwan. Yes.
And then we and I did enjoy the conversation between
Meredith and Griffith, whose grandma has Alzheimer's, because I obviously
those parallel lines. And first of all, I will have
(38:48):
to acknowledge that Meredith Gray has had the best hair
since season one, and it just continues to look fantastic. Yeah,
she's looking good. This season, she's looking great. Um, not
that that's what it's about, but she looks right. Yeah.
And then we did get insight into what's the other
interns name that we missed last oh um Ya Yasuda.
(39:10):
She said that she doesn't sleep with men. She's like,
only sleep with women. So that was some personal information
that we hadn't heard before. And wait, I literally can
I just tell you that I actually wanted to watch
Gray's Anatomy on Thursday night when it was live on television,
which I have wanted to do in a very long time. Unfortunately,
(39:32):
I did not watch it because of Taylor. Here's what
I know. I'm always surprised when it's already over. I'm like, well,
that was it that flew by? That's saying a lot,
because I think that says a lot because in the
past it's been a bit of a slog some weech
with it, and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's over already,
can you believe it? And then the Zola being a
genius of it all, that's interesting and that's going to
be an interesting plot line to follow. Well, at first,
(39:54):
I was just like rolling my eyes because I'm like,
of course like her parents or geniuses. But now I
forgot about the panic attack and how the two could
like coincide and it's something deeper than that and like
actually very interesting um to learn about. So Dr marshan
(40:14):
Zolo's interactions I like it. Yeah, alright, great, we're still
on the up and up on UM. Shall we get
into emails? Yeah, there's your front door bell and that's
probably a delivery kind of thank you. I just started listening. Well, welcome.
That is great. You know, we've so many scrubbers have
(40:35):
been here for years, and we're always happy to add
to the to the group. I love some advice from
the cast. When I first started dating my fiance, I
told them I'd been in multiple relationships. I told them
this because they told me they had been in numerous
relationships as well. We were long difftance and they were
meeting my family for the first time. I'm nervous that
my family members will say something like, ah, it's sure
(40:57):
great to meet her first boyfriend. For example, I haven't
told him that I really haven't been with a lot
of a lot of relationships. I asked my therapist for advice.
She told me not to tell them and smile if
anyone says anything, what do you think? Can we get
a summary? So she told her current partner that she's
been with a lot of people, had a lot of relationships,
(41:18):
a lot of relationships, which is not true. And now
this partner, who I believe she refers, who has her
boyfriend because me and the family for the first time,
and she's worried some of the family is going to
mention him being the first boyfriend and that's going to
be a problem. So how does she handle this? Does
she warned her family not to say anything? Does she
tell the boyfriend Okay, look, I've been in a lot
(41:38):
of relationships. What does she do? See? I read this.
This is so fascinating. I read this differently as and
she only told her boyfriend that this is her first,
that this isn't her first relationship, but her family doesn't
know she's been in multiple relationships. No, I think Mark
has it right, because that's I read it. Do you
(42:01):
get what I'm saying? Mark? Yeah? I think, yes, I
see what you're saying, and so I'm reading it over again. No,
I think she I think she lied to her partner fiance.
I think she lied her fiance and said I've been
in many relationships just like you, and that isn't true,
and now she feels guilty about it and isn't sure
(42:23):
what to do. I'm going to give some advice that
you might not want to hear. The truth will set
thy free. I agree, it's not a big deal. I mean,
the fact that he's your fiance and you've kept the
sharade up for this long is a little bit sketch.
But I just think it's it's not that big of
(42:45):
a deal that you haven't had a lot of serious relationships,
Like it's to me, that's not a big deal at all.
So I feel like you should just come clean and
just say I was feeling insecure at the beginning of
our relationship and that's why I said it. I'm really
sorry are line is not great, But I just think,
don't put your family, don't make your family lie like
(43:06):
don't just like, don't add to it, you know what
I mean, because eventually it is going to come out
and he's just gonna be like, why have you been
lying this whole time? When I start compounding it's not great.
I just like, part of me is like y'all or fiancee.
So this feels very This to me feels very insignificant
because it's like, Hey, when we first started dating, I
(43:28):
got so nervous because you had been in multiple relationships.
And I said the same, But that's not true, Like
I'm really excited for my family to meet you and
and just keep it casual. I mean, I don't think
it's that. But he loves you like he loves to you,
doesn't matter. In fact, he might be like, that's great,
I'm glad you haven't been in multiple relationships. Yeah. Look,
(43:52):
you said them a lot, and then you said boyfriends.
I'm a little confused on the gender here, but assuming
it is a boyfriend, he's gonna be thrilled, because the
opposite would not be thrilled if you told him you
were he was your first, and then I like, by
the way I was with twenty other guys, he's not
gonna be happy about that, But this way, I had
a ton of extu relationships. Sure. Actually, no, you're the
only one. He's gonna be thrilled about that. And it's sweet.
(44:14):
You were you were weren't sure, you were nervous, you
didn't know what to say. It's sweet. He'll love it.
I think I think you were good here. I think
you're good to tell him the same. Although I don't
know why the therapist is telling you not to know.
I wonder, I wonder if we haven't, if she the therapist,
is information we don't have, maybe very possible since we
(44:34):
have right. All right, Well, this one's anonymous, she says,
I'll try to keep this short. How would you both
feel if one of you were invited to the other
surprise engagement and you find out later they didn't show
up because they went to a casual dinner instead of
My childhood best friend got engaged the day before me. Crazy.
(44:55):
I know both her and her new fiance were invited
to my engagement by my fiance a couple of weeks prior,
surprised everyone's here. Well, my friend told my fiance she
would try to make it, but ultimately didn't show up
because of a casual dinner. She texted me asking about
the details of my engagement, but I didn't even get
a phone call. I know it sounds silly, but I
was thrilled when she got engaged. But I was thrilled
(45:20):
when she got engaged, even though her now fiance put
her through hell at one point. I needed every detail
because I knew she was happy. I feel like that
is how any best friend would feel and act. Also,
I found out she got engaged hours after it happened
on Instagram. It was just one of those moments of
me feeling that I may consider her my best friend,
but does she not consider me? Hers? Am I crazy
(45:41):
for having these feelings and being hurt by this? I
let it go, but I do think about it still,
and I'm just more careful now. But who I choose
to spend my time with and who I consider her
best friend? Listen, I don't I identify as Rebecca. I
mean I identify as a Becca I and I would
be devastated by this because finding out something this significant
(46:08):
on Instagram is like I feel like those are the
last people to know, right, Yeah, Like if Tanya didn't
at least have me in her like top five people
that she faced time with the ring like in like
this Taylor ly top five Taylor Lyric top five, Yeah,
I'd be like I would be thinking about not like,
(46:31):
oh where does our relationship stand? But just like huh,
I totally have that wrong. The whole time friendship, I
get engaged, I post pictures of that night. Don't tell
you like that just is not even a thing the
way I would have to just grip my teeth and
be like so happy. She must have been so overwhelmed
that she forgot. I'd be so pissed. Yes, And I
(46:56):
think that obviously there's some things that like we prioritize,
like some things that might mean more to one person
than the other person. But I think an engagement is
like pretty cool, like people realize the significance of it.
So like even when I first kissed Hayley, like I
(47:17):
think Tanya was like definitely one of the first two
people I called, if not the first and told her.
So I think it's just like I think your feelings
being hurt is so valid. And I don't know if
you have a conversation or just kind of maybe accept
like yeah, maybe you put more value and effort into
the friendship or you can just yeah, like I would
(47:39):
say say that you you can express your feelings. My
feelings were hurt. I thought we were better friends than that,
and just like kind of leave it and just take
that as take this as an example of kind of
where your friendship stands, you know what I mean, maybe
you don't put as much effort in. Yeah, I think,
like I also agree, expressing your feelings not just like
burying them in and being like, Okay, I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna like be a burden by expressing my feelings.
(48:01):
It's her time. But I think being able to say, like, hey,
it really hurt my feelings that you weren't a part
of this day, and and and for like a casual dinner.
You know, I think that's fair, and then she can
however she reacts as we'll be telling. I would just
add that she answered her own question here in her
(48:22):
last line when she said, I'm just being more careful
to I spend my time with and who I consider
her best friend. Yeah, that's our advice. Do that, be
more careful and and you're not her best friend, and
that sucks, but it's good that you know, and you
can move on and get a better one. I also
think sometimes like the childhood best friend thing is hard
because like from a child to adult, you change so much,
(48:42):
who you are, your interests, what you make, seasons of
life too. You know, it's interesting because like when I
was in college, I had like my best group of
girlfriends and then right after graduated they all got married
and had babies, and I was just in such a
different life stage and season and so it's like, excuse me,
there is something to that where like life stages further through,
(49:09):
further from other people, but like it can still all
be good. It doesn't have to be bad, like does
not have to be bad blood or you know what
I mean, any sort of negativity. It's just like, is
what it is. And I think it's like, we're okay,
where am I putting my effort into with this friendship still?
So I'm sorry that sucks, But congratulations on your engagement. Congratulations.
(49:30):
We're very happy, so happy for you. All Right, that'll
wrap her up with the bow. Time wraps her up.
She still got to shine, Isn't it crazy? In a
few months, I'm gonna be holding a book that you wrote,
like a hardcover book with the front yes wild oh
(49:52):
tany you mentioned you mentioned what you learned writing this
book and how much respect you have for actual novelists. No.
I thought that was interesting. I have so much respect
for people that write like chapter books, you know what
I mean, Like a chapter book that has a beginning, middle, end,
and the chapters all come together to create some cohesive story.
Because a devotional is very bite size, you know, it's
(50:14):
a hundred days. Every day is a different scripture, a
different interpretation, a different story. It's very bite sized, digestible.
And also you know, it was it was just so interesting,
Like I was like, this is so wild. I have
so much respect. If anybody that I ever admire or
respect in this industry writes a book, I'm going to
(50:36):
read it because I know how much effort it took,
you know what I mean, how much effort in time.
And so now I'm going to be like that girl.
I'm going to be like book girl, kind of book
send it to Tanya. But I do think there's like
I know what you're saying, but to give you credit,
(50:57):
like coming up like interpreting a small passage and making
a whole book of those types of things is also
a lot of like mental work. And because we didn't
want everything, we didn't want um to be super redundant.
You know, we got to a point where we were like,
we're kind of saying the same thing and we didn't
want it to be that. So we really had to
kind of like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. And then
(51:17):
like a novelist, you can kind of take the story
wherever you wanted to, Like, any idea is not too
crazy because you're writing a book, you know, so everything.
Everyone has their gifts and talents and their lanes, and
right now yours is this one. Might be might be
a fiction novelist one day too. We don't know. Hey, Hi,
(51:39):
I'm the author. It's me me, Hi, I'm the author.
You should do by, because now we're saying for the author. Yeah,
we're ending the podcast by. Wait, how's it go again? By?
It's me, I'm the author. It's me. Bye. We love you,
(52:02):
I love you. Bye m
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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