January 26, 2023 • 53 mins
We are BLOOMING with excitement to welcome Candice King into the O.R.! You may not know this… but Candice had a CRUCIAL impact on Tanya’s relationship with Roby!
Candice helps Becca and Tanya understand the phenomenon of a “superbloom” and how it can help when life has you feeling in the dirt.
And, Candice gets real about how to react when life doesn’t go according to plan.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I
Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrub
a dub dub Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. Who's getting CHRONK tonight?
Not you, Nada? Are you? Are you on the no
(00:22):
alcohol train yet or is it still the casine? I'm
not sober curious, but I am sober this week because
I'm gearing up for like book launch week, and I
feel as though next week is going to be very
intense in terms of schedule for me. So I'm trying
to eat super clean, drink super clean, your best, feel
my best. Yeah, I feel my strongest, because that's important.
(00:45):
It is important. Book launch is happening. Yeah, we're like
T minus whatever days. I just can't even believe it's here.
Oh my gosh, I know this. Here's flying by. It's
I'm so happy you said that. Because it's Valentine's Day
very soon, then in St Patrick's Day. Then we're basically
(01:07):
into summer. After summer, we have the iHeart Rating Music
Festival in September, and then it's basically Halloween, your birthday,
and Thanksgiving and we're done. I'm so stressed. I hate
that I hate that mentality. There's so much time in
between these things. Not big job. I'm just saying St.
Patrick's not because it's like March and then summer's June, March, April,
(01:28):
made Junie. You went from St. Patrick's Day to iHeart
Festival in September. There was a large of summer in there.
Summer that's July August. That's a lot of time six months.
I'm just saying, if you're trying to plan big things,
it's time to get on that. Also, do you go
really hard for St. Patty's there? That's not true. I
(01:51):
always Celbady to get some cute little sunglasses and like
go to some sort of pub, not a pub, but
I do and vibe. Yeah, I think you liked the
idea of like participating, but it's not like you're like
out like in the streets, like on a parade or something.
I haven't gotten a parade. And I'm just saying, like
the way you included St. Patty's Day like it was Christmas, Yeah,
(02:13):
basically Christmas. Because you know who's on the show today,
Candice came. I know so Candice and I actually well
we met. They were on our podcast a while though,
her and Kayla and then Beck and I read an
event like a an industry event and yeah, that's right, industry,
(02:33):
and Candice was there and I remember, Um, I was
telling her how I just started dating somebody. This was
right when robbing I started dating. Oh my gosh. Yeah,
and that's when she was just so kind and so
warm and gave me her phone number because I was like,
I've never dated a divorced dad before, and so she
got my number and has just been such a beautiful
(02:54):
friend to me throughout this entire process because I feel
like she'd been there and stuff. So um, I just
we just created like a really nice bond. And she's
also a fellow podcaster, and she launched a new podcast,
a super Blum podcast. So we're going to have her
on as our guest and scrubbing In right now. So
right now we're going to back. We'll be right back
(03:14):
with Candice. Al Right, we are back, and we we can't.
(03:34):
I don't even remember the year it was when you
were on Scrubbing In It. It would have been like
five years ago. Maybe. Yeah, that is the voice of
Candice King, who Yeah, let's get a warrant here, Thank you,
thank you. Thank you. We were trying to think of
when that was, and I was like, that was either
two or two thousand nineteen. Yeah, I was around that.
(03:56):
It was like five years ago. It was it was before,
which it's like a whole basically we were all much
younger and freer and less concerned then, you know, Yeah,
and a lot has happened since then, I think for
all of us, which is great. You know, we've all
been through different things and growth, and you know, we're
really excited to have you back. I know you've really
(04:18):
been a special person for Tanya the last few years,
navigating her relationships. So I feel like it's been a
long time since you've been on the podcast, but I
feel like you have been a very prominent person in
my life. And Um, the thing that I think is
so special about you is because I was saying earlier
before you came on, we were at some industry event.
I don't remember what it was, but it was a
(04:39):
BFF thing. It was like for yeah, yeah and Taylor.
Uh it was loft loft loft, Okay, So we were
all um there and you guys had just come on
the podcast, and I remember talking to you and I
was explaining how I was newly dating this guy. We
now Robbie, UM, but the time, I was like newly
(05:00):
dating this guy and he was a divorced dad, and
I remember you were so sweet. You literally gave me
your phone number right there and there on the spot,
and you were like, call me if you have any questions,
text me if you need anything. And it was that
gesture like people don't do that in l A just
in general. And I feel like it was just really
really special and you it wasn't just like a like
(05:22):
an arbitrary invite, like you really followed through. You were
always there for me, You answered all my questions. I
felt like we became like instant best friends and it
was just so nice. And I feel like it was
I don't know, like I just look at you as
like this little guardian angel that was sent to me.
I well, that's everything you just said is so kind,
first of all, and I'm so glad that we met
(05:44):
that day, and and I get it. I mean, I've
had UM. I feel like I've been lucky enough to
have other people do that for me, and in a
whole bunch of different ways in life, whether it's you know,
navigating career relationships, French anything. I think. Um, you know,
there's a whole bunch of different kinds of friends you
can have. Um, A lot of my super close friends
(06:05):
I've known for a long time know this about me
that I'm the worst text message person ever, Like I think,
I just I have like seven hundred unread text messages.
I'm one of those people. Um, Like the phone scares me.
But I'm also a writer or die. Like if someone
says nine one one, I need you right now, I'll
be like plain booked, I'm there. What can I do?
I'm great at Like, hey, I have the super vulnerable
(06:27):
question about like how to navigate this situation? Love that
if it's like how are you, I'm like, that is
my nightmare. So I have loved that we've been able
to reach out to each other over these last couple
of years and hang out in Nashville and stay in
touch and it's and it's so fun and and truly
you guys, I mean, Becca, you were the first person
(06:48):
to be on directionally challenged podcasts that I co hosted
with Kayla for many years who Kayla is still hosting
now And you don't realize when you're starting something new,
how you just need someone else to just show up
for you and be like, hey, I'm here, no questions asked,
Like no one's trying to get anything from this except
I'm just here to support you while you try this
(07:08):
new venture. And so truly both of you do that
for so many people in your life. So I'm just
grateful to know you each in those separate ways. I mean,
I what you and Caleb both were so kind to
me when I think my It was my first thing
that I did post Bachelor, I did a photo show
me your Candice and Caleb were also modeling that day,
(07:33):
and they were just so kind to me. And my
sister was like a massive Vampire's diary fan and vampire
vampire diary, like something came out wrong. Um, And Candice
made a video for her, and I made a video
for you my stepdaughters, Yeah, because we wrote we'd all
(07:55):
watched your season and like I was a superman. Um. Yes,
it was like this perfect moment of like, like you know,
super fandom. Um. But I feel like the word model
is a stretch for me that day, so basically it's
show me your MoU is a fantastic clothing line. If
anyone needs like wonderful clothes, go check it out. Um
(08:16):
it's Cammy a Bear. I've known since Cammy Miller now,
but I've known her since we were like sixteen years old,
so I remember when when her and Clone started that line.
So it's just been that that's always just fun. I
feel like I just get to be along for the
riot on that. But that was a very fun day.
I just I you were the first um like celebrity
(08:37):
at your status. I mean you are a celebrity, like
let's just acknowledge the facts, but you were the first
you ever you were. You were the first person I
met at that level, and I remember thinking like almost
like it almost ruined everyone else for me because after that,
I felt like everyone's so nice in this industry. Really
(09:00):
learned that that is not the case. Yeah, yeah, you
know it's yeah. I'll just keep my mouth shut on
that one, but thank you. I'll take the compliment and
keep my mouth shut. But it is true, like you
really are this little like angel that for all looks
around the city and it's responding to text, not responding
to but she did respond, so like Candice was really
(09:23):
helping me out, Like kind of you I feel like
you were like a big sister kind of guiding me
in this new relationship that I was in. And it
was really fun because when we went out to Nashville
to Ben and Jessic's wedding, um I set up like
a like a coffee date breakfast with Candice and so
she was finally able to meet Robbie and it was
kind of like this full circle moment that just was
really special well of mine. I loved that that coffee
(09:44):
shop two is the best. Tanya loved it too. There
was like a cute note thing outside where people left
like encouraging notes. Yeah, it wasn't like circle. There was
a little thing where you like drop a note, take
a note, And I was like, this is the most
Tanya Box I've ever seen in my life. Well, I
wanted to talk about your new podcast because you have
gone through a lot of change since we last talked
to you, and you launched this podcast and it's kind
(10:06):
of people navigating their own journeys of grief and loss
and challenges in their life, and I wanted you to
kind of expound on like what expand on what what
it's been like and if it's been like a healing
process for you starting this podcast. Yeah. I mean what's
interesting is I didn't even first one. I knew I
wanted to start a new podcast, and I didn't really
(10:28):
know which way it was, like what I wanted to
really focus in on. I had a few ideas, and
part of that is also coming up with a name,
and it's really hard to come up with the name
because a lot of them are taken and uh, and
so super Bloom struck me. There's a band called Mr.
Wives and they have a song called super Bloom that
is really really good if you need something to pump
(10:48):
you up. Um. And it really struck me that I
actually was able to go and see the California super
bloom which occurred in the last one was in and
it was all the California poppy and it was just
such a big time. And then even just researching what
a super bloom is, it's I just fell in love
with the with just the science of it and what
(11:11):
a super bloom is is it is actually a botanical
phenomenon and it doesn't happen every year, and in order
for it's it's this whole giant super bloom of wild
flowers and an order for the super bloom to happen,
it only happens in desert landscapes where it's traditionally obviously drier.
But for the super bloom to happen, you have to
have it a very wet, rainy season, like it has
(11:33):
to just rain and just have the heaviest, never ending
rain downpour, and that because of the heavy, heavy rain,
the water is able to nurture the seeds underneath the ground.
And because of that rain, the seeds become stronger and
are nurtured and are ready to end. They're actually able
to grow and burst from the ground and create this
(11:54):
beautiful super bloom. So I think that we can all
say we've been changed, since there is no one I
know who hasn't had to have difficult conversations with family,
who hasn't had to have difficult conversations with themselves, who
hasn't experienced loss or grief um in any form, And
(12:15):
so I really kind of I was inspired by the
concept of sitting down with people to kind of reflect
on periods of time where even though it seemed like
that was nothing could get better and it was the
worst experience of their life, that's actually the time where
they were being nurtured and becoming the best, most strong
version of themselves to really come out the other side
and bloom. So that's kind of the heart and the
(12:38):
concept of um of what this new podcast is and
in the root of the conversations that I'm having. And
you know, it's been, it's been. I was able to
talk to Tanya last week, she's on the podcast um
Um I was. It was so fun um and and
(12:58):
like one of the conversations I was really moved by.
I spoke with Amanda Knox a few months ago, and
you know, I remember following her case and she's our
age and so it's really and she's a mother now
and so to reflect on what she's been through, and
so you know, there's various um it's very like the
conversations are broad as far as who I'm speaking with
(13:18):
and what we're necessarily speaking about, but the theme of
just rebirth and growth is throughout. For sure. Has it
made you feel um like comfortable and safe opening up
about what you've been through? Like have you have like
hearing other people's experiences and struggles. Has it made you
feel like, Okay, there's a there's that feeling of hope
(13:41):
and greener pastures in the future for me, the super
bloom Like have you felt that? I, well, so I have.
With the introductory episode to the podcast is actually just
me on the mic. It's not an interview at all.
And I appropriately named the episode in the Dirt, and
so you can take that for what you will. And
(14:04):
I'm just simply admitting that I am in the dirt,
you know. And and so that's where I'm at right now,
and that's totally okay. And um, so I've I've always
had a hard time, I think, really opening up. I mean,
put me at a dinner party and I'm just an
open book. But especially on social media, I feel very
awkward in front of the camera. I always do get
(14:26):
nervous about speaking on a microphone. Um, and I've always
been that way. Yeah, yeah, I can. I can be
someone who obsesses for a while, wondering if I if
something came out the wrong way or so. Yeah, it's
that type a perfectionist and so interesting. I would not
guess that about you, uh huh huh. Yeah, I know.
I've done a lot of therapy. Is awesome. It really
(14:47):
helps helped me a lot over the years, not just
obsess about like one thing that came out wrong at
a dinner party or like an event or anything. UM.
But yeah, I've I've found it cathartic in my own way.
I think for anyone that listens. I start each episode
off with, UM, essentially a personal essay that I write.
(15:08):
I was gonna ask you if you write that and
then you read it right, okay, because I was like,
this is way too poised and thoughtful. Like I was like,
when we're doing the podcast, we do not sound like that.
I was listening to and I was like, she's glad
this is something she wrote down and she's reading and
it has to be yes, yes, it makes me feel better. Actually,
(15:31):
I think even if we wrote him down, we I
don't know that. I don't know how you know, it's
very your podcast is very thoughtful. Like it's a story
that she's like, she's obviously so she's written it and
she reads it, but it ties into the guests in
a certain way. That's very It's like a short, little
anecdotal story and it's like very thought out. And I
was like, wow, how do you what's the process of
doing that? I love that? Thanks. I funny enough. I've
(15:55):
always like writing classes have always been like my little
secret hobby. UM. I've always found myself in like a
course or a weekend intensive or even there's a great
improv studio in l A that instead of taking improv classes,
I found myself taking the like essay writing classes. UM.
So it's been like my version of kind of like
(16:15):
journaling or when I get overwhelmed. Um. But like, for instance,
I was reminded a friend of mine text me and
was like this this I loved this essay part. And
I didn't even remember when I said, but I interviewed, um.
I interviewed a woman who has a great uh stand
up routine and a lot of people know where as
Lady a d h D. And so she was diagnosed
(16:36):
with a d h D in her forties. She's also
started a career as a stand up comedian later in life.
And it's like her story is wonderful and amazing and
inspiring and and but she also, um, it feels like
she's always like the loudest one in the room. So
I started the episode off talking about an experience I had,
you know, a couple of months ago, where I felt
(16:57):
like the loudest person in the room and it had
to do with me, like crying in a restaurant and
feeling just overwhelmed and feeling like I'm too much and
all because of the way someone described into growny and
I was moved to tears and and just so obviously
this is why I write them down because I can't
speak about it as eloquently as I do when I
actually type it all out. Um. But I try to
(17:21):
take things from my own life that um and share
stories and moments that I have found as a little
like I don't know if you want to call them
like winks from the universe or those moments where you go,
this feels significant for some reason. And so I have
a dear family friend who who she calls them God winks,
(17:42):
and I really love that. And I'm not necessaryly, it's
just something that I really like that. So whether you
call them little universe winks or godwins or we love
godwinks over here on this show, yeah, so um So
those are the moments I try to tie into each
episode because I feel like they're worth sharing. I like
the term in the dirt because I do feel like
(18:04):
you go through those moments and you go, like I
saw this video the other day, and it was saying,
how you know, like when it's really hot outside, like
in the summer, and you're like, I don't I don't
know if i'll ever feel comfortably cool again, Like I
can't even imagine that I'll ever like I can't imagine
feeling cold because I'm so miserably hot right now, right
and then the winter and the fall comes and you
(18:24):
feel cold again, and then it's so cold that you're like,
I just want to feel warm. I don't know if
I'll ever get warm again because I'm so cold, and
then sure enough the summer comes, and it was saying,
how like that's how sometimes it is with like the
happy moments and the sad moments in life, Like when
you're when you're happy, you're like, I can't imagine ever
being sad, like I'm everything's going right for me, I'm
(18:44):
so happy. And then sure enough something happens because that's life,
and you feel sadness and you feel down, and then
the like best reminder is that sometimes when you're going
through the sad parts, when you're in the dirt and
you're in the growth process where you're like, I don't
know if I can ever if i'll ever feel joy
or happiness or see like the light it comes again,
(19:05):
you know. And it was like such a reminder. I
like that term in the dirt because every beautiful flower,
every beautiful thing that we see, starts in the dirt
where you don't see the growth of it, like the
roots and where it's happening. And I think that's a
beautiful like analogy for what it looks like to be
a human. I want to ask you more about being
(19:25):
in the dirt, but we're gonna take a quick break,
(19:45):
take it away, telling you thank you so much. You know,
I'm just making sure that it's a well oiled machine
over here when we need to. Yeah, you keep us oiled, responsible,
Susan over here responsible, I'm sure Rebecca responsible over here.
Thank you so much. But we're talking about being in
the dirt, and I feel like, do you want to
(20:08):
share or like, do you really feel like do you
still feel like you're in the dirt? I feel like
you are the podcast in the when the new year started? Right, Yeah,
but that's you know, I did um. But I also
feel like, yeah, I'm absolutely still in the dirt. I'll
just say that, and not in a bad way. I mean,
what I think is been really interesting is also realizing
(20:32):
that I'm someone who likes to just make everything better.
I want to fix it. Give me a problem, I'll
come up with ten solutions. I I like and I
like a schedule. I like a plan. I don't like
when there's no plan. Um, I'm with you, with you.
But that's where I think this time in my life
right now, I'm I have some you know, personal, very
(20:54):
big changes going on in my life, you know my
and so I'll just say that just to keep it
very simple. Um, that involves just a lot of grief,
and it's in big changes can have all the feelings,
and I think, um, it's easy to distract yourself when
you're going through a big change in life. And so
(21:15):
this process of making this podcast and kind of looking
at those little moments of life and actually noticing them
has also really taught me how important it is to
just make friends with the grief a little bit, not
sit in it, not just wallow in it, but sit
next to it and hold its hand and say, I
see you, and I need to understand you too, because
I am going to be on the other side of this.
(21:37):
But but I have to also honor that it's okay
to have all of these feelings. And it's important to
honor those feelings because that also means that you know
you feel that way because you cared to begin with.
So I feel like there's it doesn't mean that it's
necessarily a bad thing, and I've actually seen um the
positive of It's funny. I actually was on a walk
(21:58):
this morning with a girlfriend and and we were just
talking about similar feelings of you know, overall theme of
being in the dirt I'll just say, And and we
started talking about like future selves because you know, when
you know you're going to get through the other side
of it, you know you will eventually, and that future
person and is always just like so happy. They're like, man,
I would look how great I handled that. Like they're
(22:19):
just they're just delated. They feel stronger, they feel better,
and it's like the present person is always like, yeah,
you're welcome, You're welcome. This is for you. You're welcome
for doing the hard part for you. Yeah. Yeah, I
will say though, I feel like, you know, the thing
that I think is so beautiful about talking about these
(22:40):
things is like a lot of people have gone through
what you're going through. Do you know what I mean?
And have come out on getting a divorce. I think
that's the word that it still feels weird to say,
but yes, that's what I'm going through. And like it's
this word that I feel like has this like certain connotation,
but it is. I don't I mean not to make
it light, but it is very common and people are
(23:01):
do get on the other side, and like really beautiful
things can happen post rainstorm, and I just feel like,
you know, I want to, Um, I want to help
you and like be that light for you like you
were for me, you know, two or three years ago
and I was kind of going through a little bit
of a storm, and so like I just want I
just want you to know that you always have me
(23:23):
to kind of you. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.
It is really beautiful I feel I don't know, have
you guys felt the shift, you know in this kind
of post world where I feel like either people are
still just as distanced or all of a sudden people
are so heart open and willing like to lead with
their vulnerability in a new way. Um. I've definitely felt that.
(23:46):
And what I will say is, yeah, you're completely right,
the divorce is very common. It is not this like
thing that no one has ever done before. But what
I have found interesting is like anything else, like in
until you've been through the process of you know, losing
a loved one, Like I don't know what it's like
(24:06):
to lose a loved one, but anyone who has been
through that experience before, they have an understanding with each other.
And I don't know what it's like to you know,
or even having a baby, Like when you when you
see someone else who's been in that like first six
weeks of having a baby, you just know what they're
going through on some cellular level. So it has been
(24:26):
really beautiful to just see um, so many people even
just like strangers at airports, you know, if you you
find yourself like just airport bars have just been so
funny when you start talking to people, and people are
just so willing to share these days, and so I
have been so encouraged by this kind of like shift
and willingness to be vulnerable, um, especially when it's come
(24:49):
to the topic of like separation and divorce. It's people
have been very willing to share their stories and and
I've been really moved by it. So I try to
do my small apart, but also with keeping healthy boundaries
because you're in it, you're in it. Yeah. Yeah, I
felt like that a lot when I before Haley and
I went public with our relationship, and like the coming
(25:11):
out process was very interesting because my friends who weren't
going through that or had never been through that, We're
just like, but you're going to get so much support,
Like you're gonna be so loved, you know, like think
about all the positives. But when you're in it, and
it's like you're going through that, you're like, but what
if they don't, you know, like you're thinking of all
the things of like what could go wrong, the fear
(25:32):
you're not thinking. And it was like at that point,
it was like so many people have done it before me,
so many people have been through the process of coming
out and sharing their love, and I felt so scared
because it felt so personal and heavy to me. Even
though so many other people have done it, It's like
such a unique experience when it's your own, you know, like,
regardless of how common it's, it's still heavy and it's
(25:56):
still your own. Like going through it feels very personal.
Did you have people you were able did you find
anyone who you were able to connect with who did
understand on some sort of you know, equal level, because
you also, you know, are not just coming out to friends, family,
but like to the world in a very public way. Well,
I think because all my friends and family and like
(26:18):
people close to me knew about it. It was like
when we did go public last year, there was this
sense of like safety, knowing that we had that support,
which was the people that matter so much to us.
So it almost felt like I I felt ready because
I knew that I had the support that I needed
regardless of what people responded or how they reacted. Um,
(26:41):
but yeah, I mean I think you know, everyone you
talked to who has gone through the process of either
coming out or recognizing that um they're queer or whatever
it is, they kind of have a similar experience of
like navigating it so that you can relate to people,
even though if it's very different because everyone's situation is different,
You find people and you connect to things like, oh yeah,
(27:03):
I like felt that exact same thing, which is really
important to like be able to share that and open
it up because most of my friend group they're all straight,
you know, like most of my friends are true, I
didn't have that, you know. It was luckily I have
two younger sisters that are both um gay, and they
they were very close to me at the time and
(27:24):
living with me, so I had them actually for a
lot of support. Even though they're my younger sisters. It
was really important to me. So I think it's just
very important to find your people and to find a
place that's safe while you're going through something like that. Yeah,
and take your time, yeah, yeah, and take your time.
And I like that you said sitting with the grief
because I think so often it's so easy to distract
(27:45):
from what's going on and look outside. Yes, it is
so easy, so so easy. Yes, what's your I really
resonate it when you said someone texting you about something
specific or like I really need help or advice going
(28:06):
through this. But then if someone says something vague, I
do the same thing, like my brain shuts off. I'm
like I can't respond to that. No, I know. It
makes me think back to like being in school and
when you're passing notes, you know what I mean, Like
pass a note that's like like do you like so
and so circule yes or no, Like that's like big
(28:27):
important information, you know, like don't be like what's up? Yeah?
Like what what do you? Like? How are you? How
am I? I don't know? Like I'm on my third coffee,
like I'm trying to get gas, I can't put my
keys and now used to sit down for five minutes
and put out a text message about how I'm doing.
(28:47):
Right now, I'm barely alive. That's how I'm doing. I'm
not going to write that. I'm like, that's a phone
call conversation, but there's a good chance I won't answer
the phone, So I don't know what to tell Like,
that's definitely a phone call, but I don't know when
I'll be ready to enter the phone. So yeah, you
(29:08):
give me a nine one one. I love a nine
one one. Do you feel like you've met because you
moved to Nashville kind of? Was it during the pandemic?
It's right, well, I mean we're all at this what's like,
what is what isn't the pandemic at this point? Um,
it's I moved last August. You feel like you have
like a like a like a home base there? Do
(29:29):
you feel at home? There no chance I ever moved
back to l A. I don't think so, unless like
I actually got a job that made me be there.
But I really love it here. I mean I spent
almost a decade in Atlanta, so I was used to
that speed. Um, I've always loved Nashville. I mean I
drive to my my drive my kids to school, and
(29:51):
we passed by horses and turkeys. I mean even on
our walk around the lake today, like my girlfriend and
I saw like deer and wild turkeys and little car
knolls and turtles, you know, And it's just like that's
our runyan, you know what. And it's beautiful and seasonal
and I can breathe. And I want l A to
be a city that works for me so much, and
(30:11):
it just didn't. I found myself to be there and
kind of um going backwards in a way of waiting
by the phone or comparing myself to a lot of people,
and and the city just felt so big and it
didn't bring out like the best of me as a
as a mother, I felt overwhelmed and trying to kind
of go and do a bunch of things and activities
(30:31):
with the kids. And here I feel like we can
just do so many fun things in a day. I
also I am not scared of moving. I moved a
lot when I was a kid. I travel alone, Like
I I'm fine making new friends. Like that's never anything
that's been really scary. It doesn't mean it's not scary
in the moment. And weird to try to like make
(30:52):
a new friend in your thirties. I want to go
get coffee or like a glass of wine to a
and um, you know, like what movies do you like?
Did you hear you on like bumble dff way? I know? Um,
I got really like I didn't do things I so
I before moving here, I actually did a Christmas movie
(31:14):
where I got to play Reba McIntire's daughter. And one
of the producers of it was Melissa Joan Hart and
she lives here and so she um, so I got
her number from her mom. I creeped in, was like, hey,
paula kind of your daughter's number because I need friends.
And so she invited me out to like this mom
(31:35):
group and they are the most and like write or
die women ever like that. I mean, I remember we
all there on this text chain, which you know if
you I'm not a big texture, but they text all
day all that there's like thirty messages, but I love
reading it like it's my version of like it's like
dumois and then that text change. I'm set um, but
(31:59):
there are me saying and so we do like movie
nights and dinner nights. I'm also the co leader of
my daughter's girl Scout troop that we are also a
very biggest thieves group of women and so fun, very fun.
It's very very fun. Yes, if you guys need cookies,
I can hook you up. Let me know. Yeah, I do.
Are you like true Beverly Hills? Like? Is that you
(32:21):
just like we are the opposite. We're pretty chill, were
like the very chill like for all the type a
stuff that I do. This is where we're pretty um,
We're pretty relaxed. Yeah, I keep forgetting. I want to
set you up on a friend date with Meredith Seacrest
because she lives in Nashville and she's so cute. Yeah,
I gotta, I gotta fire up the text chain because
she's so like you guys are one and the same,
(32:43):
like little angels from Heaven, little Nashville angels. When you
do you know you're in anigram type? Do you know that?
Have you ever done that? Wait? Why why? Because everyone
I have been asked is almost every week for the
last like three months to decide we operate. And the
(33:07):
this was my last like girls like night. We went
and had Margarita's and and that's all like my two
girlfriends that were like all about the instagrams going deep.
So finally on the way home, I took the test
like in my uber and I was like, guys, after
a few Margharita's, I'm a six. And my friend was like, no,
you're not, You're a ten. And what's the six? What's
the six? I don't know, but she thought I was
(33:29):
like downgrading myself. She's like, no, you're a ten of
a woman, she was. I was like, what do you do?
I thought there were only nine intagrams. She's like, why
are you selling yourself short? I was like, I'm talking
about the instagram. She's like, oh, I thought you were
feeling bad about yourself. I was like, no, how did
we get here when you just said ten? I was
like I don't know how to tell her there are
(33:50):
not ten aim So I'm not as familiar with that
Asbecca is, because well I'm not super familiar. I was
just thinking about a lot of the things that you said,
and I relate to a lot of them, But then
like the planning type a thing is more Tania, but
I don't I was curious if you New Year's but
you're six apparently a six after few margharitas, so I
(34:11):
don't know if that changes. I'm i'd probably be different
after a few margarita. We should all have an indiogram
sober and indiogram after a few margharitas and see if
they line up. Um. But I was also I just
I feel I really connect to the part of overthinking conversations,
(34:31):
Like when I go to social events, I leave and
I'm like, did I why did I share what I
shared with that stranger that I just met, Like, honestly,
I like overshare so much out of I don't know, nervousness,
social anxiety, whatever it is. And then I leave and
I'm like anxious about that. And same thing on the podcast,
where like, I mean, we've been doing this for a
(34:52):
long time, but I still have times where I'm like,
did I Misspeah? You're fine, so I you know that
why I asked. I don't know if it has anything
to do with your indiogram. It could I don't know,
but I'm like, it's a word that I've never ever
heard before. And in the last couple of months, it's
like every single week I'm like, what, what godwink is
(35:14):
this to say? Maybe there's something there. I don't know
what it would be. I don't either. It's got something
to do with six I don't know. I know you
do a lot of therapy, but are you lik into
self help books? No? I try like it's interesting. I
don't know. No, I'm not. I'm just not. Yeah, I'm
(35:36):
not like, no, I want to be. I I also like,
I used to be a very like voracious reader and
then all of a sudden when I had babies and
it was really hard, Like my brain just doesn't stick
to the page very well. Um, I can do it
when I'm like cramming for a podcast episode. I tried
to read the book or most of the book, um,
(35:59):
But other than that, it's it's tough for me to
really get through it because I feel like you're somebody
that's very like self aware. Yes, I believe that I am.
I think that there's but I mean that could be
a whole other podcast episode. Probably I'd have to check
with my therapist on that one. Um, but it is
I do. Look, I love therapy. I've I've been in
(36:22):
therapy since I was eighteen, UM with various therapists through
the years, and what I've found is, um, I like
going in with like one thing I'm trying to really
navigate and seeing if that person is able to kind
of walk me through that kind of chapter, that path. Um.
But I love it. I I encourage anyone to give
it a go. If you're too scared, just go for it.
(36:44):
And also, if you go to therapy and you don't
like the therapist the first time, it's fine. It's like dating,
Like just because you go and have a drink doesn't
mean you're married to them. And sometimes they make it
weird when you try to break up with them. Like
I tried a therapist here and she was like, give
me one more chance, and I was like no, And
then I was like, wow, this is a breakthrough for me,
this is like healthy boundaries. No, she was like giving
(37:06):
you a chance to like work on what y'all talk
about testing me, testing me like a pass. I graduated
from your therapy going to college. Now I want to
talk about what you see if you want to talk
(37:27):
about it. I want to talk about what you see
moving forward career wise personally. But first we're gonna take
a break. Okay, we are back. I scrapped the name earlier,
(37:55):
but as I said in the beginning, you were all
night little show called the Vampire Diaries. What did I
say earlier, Vampire's Diary, Vampire Diary, the Vampire's Diaryire is
this diary? Um? Do you ever see a reunion type
show happening? It's so funny. I got asked this question
(38:17):
recently and a questions. I mean, but I with the
show just technically ended last year because we had the
original spinoff and then we had Legacies, um, which just
finished in the spring of one, so I think it'd
be too soon. You know it it is. I still
(38:39):
pinched myself. I can't believe that I was a part
of something that just especially now with streaming, people continue
to watch things all the time, and it's you know,
it's like you get older, but then the people watching
it get younger, and then that feels really interesting. Um.
Today at the coffee shop, at these really sweet girls
in college come up and they were your voice sounds
(39:01):
so different, and I was like, well, I've aged thirteen years.
That's a funny comment to make. That is such a
funny comment to make. But I do like that. I
do like the idea behind this, Like where do you
see yourself? Because you are such a planner, Where do
you see yourself because you just launch this new podcast,
Like do you see this going a certain direction? Like
(39:22):
where do you see yourself going career wise personally in
the next five years? Or do you have dreams? Well,
I think that's no dreams. Nope, I've decided to not
dream anymore. Part of those, I have some vision board goals,
but I did have for many years at when I
(39:42):
left the Vampire Diaries, Um, I did have an idea
of what I thought my life was supposed to look like.
And I was like, okay, so here I am. Now
I'm entering my thirties. I'm going to do this, I'm
gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, and then and
then I'm gonna take a break in them and do this,
and then there's the rest of my life. And when
life changes and you realize that you can't really plan
(40:05):
everything and it doesn't matter how many times you write
it down on the calendar, like life has its own
plans sometimes, and um, I just really had to rethink
about why I felt it's so necessary to have an
idea of what it was supposed to look like. And
I had these blinders on and I didn't have that
(40:25):
when I was younger. I I looking back, I didn't.
I had like general goals that I was always was
working towards something. But I was still listening for those
little opportunities and knew that sometimes you know, it's like
instead of going through the front door, sometimes you go
through the side door, or you go through the window.
And I just had not been really doing that for
a period of time. I was just so focused on
(40:46):
it had to be a certain way of the trajectory
of my career. Um. And so now I'm much more
open to see, you know, what else is out there.
And I really I don't know. I love being on
a set. I love working in television. Television is my
like happy place. I feel very confused on a movie.
(41:07):
I've not done very many of them, but I'm just like,
why are we only here for like a couple of
weeks or a couple of months. This doesn't make sense.
We're all supposed to know each other for years. Um,
and I I got so spoiled on the Vampire Diaries.
You don't usually get a run like that, so um,
I really don't know. Um. I also for a while.
(41:27):
I mean, you guys will appreciate this because I was
just was like Ellen Pompeio, she's got the dream, and
then that's what I'm gonna do, replicate her career. I'm
gonna turn thirty three years old and I'm going to
be on a show and I'm gonna be there for
like eighteen years and then that's it. And then I'm
just gonna be happy and making money and like, I
got my babies and I can just take them to school,
go work, and then that's the life. Um. And then
(41:49):
when I hit thirty three thirty four and that didn't happen,
I was like, well, I guess it's over. I have
failed and I will never ever achieve Ellen Pompeio's dream,
which had become my. And it is so silly to
put a time stamp on what happens in life, and
especially I think for anyone that was watching Award shows lately,
it's so fun to see all of these artists and
(42:10):
performers who are up there winning awards, going angle. This
is hilarious. I thought my career was over thirty years ago,
and so there is no one way that it's supposed
to look um right now. I'm just very I'm kind
of I'm here. I'm showing up and interested to see
like what windows and indoors and and you know a
little pockets are open um to kind of that. That's
(42:34):
as that's as good as I have planned right now,
which is for me actually a really positive thing. Yeah,
it's interesting that you say that, because I feel like
I've been some of that vision boards. I do it
every single year, and I used to I was always
attached to the outcome. It was always I was attached
to every single outcome, and when those things didn't happen
when I thought they were supposed to happen, it was
just like heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak. And so what
(42:54):
I realized, it's like it's having vision and having passion.
Having purpose is one thing, but like attaching it to
a specific time online is where things get. You know,
you're attaching an outcome that you don't know when that's
going to happen. So it's like I've had to learn
this like fine balance of having these goals and having
vision and passion and purpose and drive, but also letting
(43:14):
life just kind of unfold in its own timing, which
is very difficult for me, but you know, working through it,
and it's so much more fun when that happens. But
I'm the same way like I. But it when when
when when all of a sudden you go, wow, I
can't believe this is how it came together, but it did,
and it actually feels fantastic, and I didn't like it
(43:37):
when it does reveal itself. I mean even just Oprey
Plaza hosting SML ending it with like dreams come true.
You know, it's like it's beautiful and you never know
how it's going to happen. Um. And and also sometimes
dreams change and it's okay too. I Mean, I grew
up wanting to be a pop star and that is
so far from what I ever want to do at
(44:00):
this point, So I you know, dreams change and evolve
as well, and there's room for that. Um. What about
writing that seems to be like a passion? Is that
something you'd ever wanted to be a career? Is that
one of those things that you hold is like a
hobby and something that's an escape. It's it's funny. I
(44:21):
I love writers like I love them like I just
think that they're so cool, like instead of I would
rather be at a table full of writers and screenwriters
than at a table full of actors like that would
it's just more I don't know, I really like listening
to those conversations. And I'm not to like sound small
or anything. I just, Um, I have a lot of
(44:42):
friends who are writers, and I'm just in awe of them.
So it's really been hard for me to ever consider
myself any sort of or to be a writer. But
I I don't know that that I would absolutely be
open to maybe one day. Well, you're good at it.
As a listener of the Super of a Super Blue podcast,
you are good at it. So if you could just
even like compile all those things that you really like
(45:04):
the audio, you could do like, um, what are those
call maps? Like the call map where you like read?
Like reading? I used the sleep the Sleep stories. I mean,
it doesn't always work, but I've tried. I know it
works like half of the time. You're like when I
(45:24):
take a melatonin and other things, it works great. I know,
it's funny. There's I've been I've been like, I've been trouble.
I've had trouble sleeping, and so I've been binge watching
shows and so I rebene watched Ship's Creek and then
I've been been watching Outlander because I never watched it.
But I went to Scotland last fall by myself for
like a solo woman like I did like a solo
(45:46):
trip and road trip through Scotland to go fly fishing
and golfing as one lady does. And so I was
driving and all the places I ended up like all
my guides and everyone was like, so you're here because
of Outlander and I was like, nope, don't know. I
don't know. No, I'm not. But you're a woman and
you're in Scotland alone, so obviously you love Outlander. And
(46:07):
I had no idea. But so I started watching that
um at night like when I'm kind of falling to sleep,
and one of the people from the show just did
asleep story, like it helps me fall asleep, funny Scottish,
like the Scottish like accent right now is helping me. Like,
so maybe you can try that. Highly recommend just maybe
put on like a Scottish audio book. Oay, something about
(46:30):
the cadence in which like the Scottish accent is spoken.
It's just very relaxing. I'll try that. We watched it.
We watch Friends at night, Haley like normally I fall asleep,
but Hailey watches like we It's always on when she
was ready to go to sleep. Maybe if I had
like a calm with like Jennifer Aniston, I fall asleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(46:56):
I don't know if Monica would relax me, but or
Ross about I would love a ross one. Well I am.
I just like want everything that you want for yourself,
for you, because I really think that you're such an
(47:16):
incredible person and I want you to once you're super
bloom happens, I want it to be everything that you
hope for and dream for. So me too, I can't
wait to see your super blooming. Oh yeah, how can
(47:39):
you wait to see it? And asking my intagram can
wait to see the scientific phenomenon that only happens after
a lot of rain is pounding on the soil and
then something that happens and then something beautiful comes out
of it. Yes, we're ready to see that you guys
(48:00):
are both pervs. Herberts. I wasn't going there until she
went there, and then I've been watching too much Outlander.
That's what happens show. It's not it's a very historical show.
It's a lot of history that I wasn't aware of
mixed in with PERV seeing super bloom of people. Do
(48:22):
I need to watch that show? It's very good and
it's very good, like not a relaxing show though, Like,
isn't it kind of intense? Yeah, so that's interesting that
you're but that's where I'm operating. That's how I relaxed.
I need to see other people living in chaos to relax. Yes,
(48:44):
that there might be something there to that. Yeah, it's
like Housewives and Outlander kills me out house stressed. I
feel like last night Potomac watching I was like, yes,
they're also upset and stress out. I feel so much
better now. Oh that's so interesting because I watched that
show when I get major anxiety, like, I can't watch it.
(49:08):
Maybe your life's too calm right now, so you're not
relaxed by other people. It's not very calm. I wouldn't
describe it as calm, and the slightest, but OK, well,
it was so wonderful seeing you and talking with you
and having you back on scrubbing in. We love you
(49:28):
and are fans of you. Fans for everybody to check
out your podcast, a super bloom podcast. Everybody goes show
cand to some love, tell her your scrubber sender all
the the scrubber love and encouragement vibes. For sure, You'll
always provide um. Where can people follow you and know
about you and watch it? Do you have TikTok? I do?
(49:51):
I need to get back on it. I like was
like coming in strong for a minute because apparently my
voice went like viral for some like not my voice,
well my voice technically, but Caroline, remember the burn it?
The can' like, um burn it? Burn it? Did? I
say stand there and looks stupid? So I said burn it. Wait,
(50:12):
let's do that again. Maybe our podcast can go viral.
We need it here here first re viral moment it
goes I don't know, god, burn it? Did I say
stand there and looks stupid? No, I said burn it
something like that. But I had someone helping me with
TikTok because I had to literally hire someone because I
(50:35):
didn't understand the app because I'm don't. My brain doesn't
work like that, and and she was like, you have
to do it, and I was like, this is so funny.
It's from the show. I think was it Catherine who
did it? She's like, no, it's your voice. I'm like, oh,
yeah it was. And then I was in New York
and I'd like the a very like youth people like
you're just young people being like you're you're the girl
(50:57):
from TikTok. And I was just like, yeah, kids, I'm
here and you're like all that hard work to be
a girlfriend TikTok. That is so funny. I will say,
you know, Haley had an episode. I don't she had
an episode on Van Pard. She died quickly, but she
(51:18):
always said you were so kind to her. She was awesome.
I definitely remember, Yeah, she was awesome with the angel vibes.
That's just you know, how to fly. Just wow, that
was exciting hearing you do that on here. Honestly, and
like on it it is funny. TikTok is funny in
the sense that it'll pick the most random thing that
(51:41):
has no like significance to it. I was going to
totally miss that trend that makes sense to me, or
I too am not so good on the TikTok, but
I'm trying well. I'm gonna be working with the team
again in a few weeks, so then the TikTok's will
be rolling again. If I don't know how to point
(52:02):
at the words and make them disappear, so one day
I'll figure that out. Oh yeah, yeah, I can. Any
TikTok that like is any sort of has any type
of element outside of a video. Becca has to do
it for me. Yeah, I'm decent um, But where can
people follow you on the TikTok sorry TikTok? I think
(52:24):
on it's Candice King on TikTok Um we will and
then on Instagram I'm at Candice King and I also
have at a super Bloom pod and a super Boom
A Super Bloom podcast comes out every Thursday, and I've
also just started a second um episode each week that's
(52:44):
coming out on Monday's and it's called like cold Brew
Caffeinated Conversations. I'm still coming up with the name. I'm
just very I'm answering questions and talking about pop culture
stuff while drinking an obscene amount of cold brew, which
is how I usually super my day. Love that we
love it to to podcasts a week situation. We love
(53:04):
you so much, We love you so much for having me. Yeah,
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I
Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrub
a dub dub Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. Who's getting CHRONK tonight?
Not you, Nada? Are you? Are you on the no
(00:22):
alcohol train yet or is it still the casine? I'm
not sober curious, but I am sober this week because
I'm gearing up for like book launch week, and I
feel as though next week is going to be very
intense in terms of schedule for me. So I'm trying
to eat super clean, drink super clean, your best, feel
my best. Yeah, I feel my strongest, because that's important.
(00:45):
It is important. Book launch is happening. Yeah, we're like
T minus whatever days. I just can't even believe it's here.
Oh my gosh, I know this. Here's flying by. It's
I'm so happy you said that. Because it's Valentine's Day
very soon, then in St Patrick's Day. Then we're basically
(01:07):
into summer. After summer, we have the iHeart Rating Music
Festival in September, and then it's basically Halloween, your birthday,
and Thanksgiving and we're done. I'm so stressed. I hate
that I hate that mentality. There's so much time in
between these things. Not big job. I'm just saying St.
Patrick's not because it's like March and then summer's June, March, April,
(01:28):
made Junie. You went from St. Patrick's Day to iHeart
Festival in September. There was a large of summer in there.
Summer that's July August. That's a lot of time six months.
I'm just saying, if you're trying to plan big things,
it's time to get on that. Also, do you go
really hard for St. Patty's there? That's not true. I
(01:51):
always Celbady to get some cute little sunglasses and like
go to some sort of pub, not a pub, but
I do and vibe. Yeah, I think you liked the
idea of like participating, but it's not like you're like
out like in the streets, like on a parade or something.
I haven't gotten a parade. And I'm just saying, like
the way you included St. Patty's Day like it was Christmas, Yeah,
(02:13):
basically Christmas. Because you know who's on the show today,
Candice came. I know so Candice and I actually well
we met. They were on our podcast a while though,
her and Kayla and then Beck and I read an
event like a an industry event and yeah, that's right, industry,
(02:33):
and Candice was there and I remember, Um, I was
telling her how I just started dating somebody. This was
right when robbing I started dating. Oh my gosh. Yeah,
and that's when she was just so kind and so
warm and gave me her phone number because I was like,
I've never dated a divorced dad before, and so she
got my number and has just been such a beautiful
(02:54):
friend to me throughout this entire process because I feel
like she'd been there and stuff. So um, I just
we just created like a really nice bond. And she's
also a fellow podcaster, and she launched a new podcast,
a super Blum podcast. So we're going to have her
on as our guest and scrubbing In right now. So
right now we're going to back. We'll be right back
(03:14):
with Candice. Al Right, we are back, and we we can't.
(03:34):
I don't even remember the year it was when you
were on Scrubbing In It. It would have been like
five years ago. Maybe. Yeah, that is the voice of
Candice King, who Yeah, let's get a warrant here, Thank you,
thank you. Thank you. We were trying to think of
when that was, and I was like, that was either
two or two thousand nineteen. Yeah, I was around that.
(03:56):
It was like five years ago. It was it was before,
which it's like a whole basically we were all much
younger and freer and less concerned then, you know, Yeah,
and a lot has happened since then, I think for
all of us, which is great. You know, we've all
been through different things and growth, and you know, we're
really excited to have you back. I know you've really
(04:18):
been a special person for Tanya the last few years,
navigating her relationships. So I feel like it's been a
long time since you've been on the podcast, but I
feel like you have been a very prominent person in
my life. And Um, the thing that I think is
so special about you is because I was saying earlier
before you came on, we were at some industry event.
I don't remember what it was, but it was a
(04:39):
BFF thing. It was like for yeah, yeah and Taylor.
Uh it was loft loft loft, Okay, So we were
all um there and you guys had just come on
the podcast, and I remember talking to you and I
was explaining how I was newly dating this guy. We
now Robbie, UM, but the time, I was like newly
(05:00):
dating this guy and he was a divorced dad, and
I remember you were so sweet. You literally gave me
your phone number right there and there on the spot,
and you were like, call me if you have any questions,
text me if you need anything. And it was that
gesture like people don't do that in l A just
in general. And I feel like it was just really
really special and you it wasn't just like a like
(05:22):
an arbitrary invite, like you really followed through. You were
always there for me, You answered all my questions. I
felt like we became like instant best friends and it
was just so nice. And I feel like it was
I don't know, like I just look at you as
like this little guardian angel that was sent to me.
I well, that's everything you just said is so kind,
first of all, and I'm so glad that we met
(05:44):
that day, and and I get it. I mean, I've
had UM. I feel like I've been lucky enough to
have other people do that for me, and in a
whole bunch of different ways in life, whether it's you know,
navigating career relationships, French anything. I think. Um, you know,
there's a whole bunch of different kinds of friends you
can have. Um, A lot of my super close friends
(06:05):
I've known for a long time know this about me
that I'm the worst text message person ever, Like I think,
I just I have like seven hundred unread text messages.
I'm one of those people. Um, Like the phone scares me.
But I'm also a writer or die. Like if someone
says nine one one, I need you right now, I'll
be like plain booked, I'm there. What can I do?
I'm great at Like, hey, I have the super vulnerable
(06:27):
question about like how to navigate this situation? Love that
if it's like how are you, I'm like, that is
my nightmare. So I have loved that we've been able
to reach out to each other over these last couple
of years and hang out in Nashville and stay in
touch and it's and it's so fun and and truly
you guys, I mean, Becca, you were the first person
(06:48):
to be on directionally challenged podcasts that I co hosted
with Kayla for many years who Kayla is still hosting
now And you don't realize when you're starting something new,
how you just need someone else to just show up
for you and be like, hey, I'm here, no questions asked,
Like no one's trying to get anything from this except
I'm just here to support you while you try this
(07:08):
new venture. And so truly both of you do that
for so many people in your life. So I'm just
grateful to know you each in those separate ways. I mean,
I what you and Caleb both were so kind to
me when I think my It was my first thing
that I did post Bachelor, I did a photo show
me your Candice and Caleb were also modeling that day,
(07:33):
and they were just so kind to me. And my
sister was like a massive Vampire's diary fan and vampire
vampire diary, like something came out wrong. Um, And Candice
made a video for her, and I made a video
for you my stepdaughters, Yeah, because we wrote we'd all
(07:55):
watched your season and like I was a superman. Um. Yes,
it was like this perfect moment of like, like you know,
super fandom. Um. But I feel like the word model
is a stretch for me that day, so basically it's
show me your MoU is a fantastic clothing line. If
anyone needs like wonderful clothes, go check it out. Um
(08:16):
it's Cammy a Bear. I've known since Cammy Miller now,
but I've known her since we were like sixteen years old,
so I remember when when her and Clone started that line.
So it's just been that that's always just fun. I
feel like I just get to be along for the
riot on that. But that was a very fun day.
I just I you were the first um like celebrity
(08:37):
at your status. I mean you are a celebrity, like
let's just acknowledge the facts, but you were the first
you ever you were. You were the first person I
met at that level, and I remember thinking like almost
like it almost ruined everyone else for me because after that,
I felt like everyone's so nice in this industry. Really
(09:00):
learned that that is not the case. Yeah, yeah, you
know it's yeah. I'll just keep my mouth shut on
that one, but thank you. I'll take the compliment and
keep my mouth shut. But it is true, like you
really are this little like angel that for all looks
around the city and it's responding to text, not responding
to but she did respond, so like Candice was really
(09:23):
helping me out, Like kind of you I feel like
you were like a big sister kind of guiding me
in this new relationship that I was in. And it
was really fun because when we went out to Nashville
to Ben and Jessic's wedding, um I set up like
a like a coffee date breakfast with Candice and so
she was finally able to meet Robbie and it was
kind of like this full circle moment that just was
really special well of mine. I loved that that coffee
(09:44):
shop two is the best. Tanya loved it too. There
was like a cute note thing outside where people left
like encouraging notes. Yeah, it wasn't like circle. There was
a little thing where you like drop a note, take
a note, And I was like, this is the most
Tanya Box I've ever seen in my life. Well, I
wanted to talk about your new podcast because you have
gone through a lot of change since we last talked
to you, and you launched this podcast and it's kind
(10:06):
of people navigating their own journeys of grief and loss
and challenges in their life, and I wanted you to
kind of expound on like what expand on what what
it's been like and if it's been like a healing
process for you starting this podcast. Yeah. I mean what's
interesting is I didn't even first one. I knew I
wanted to start a new podcast, and I didn't really
(10:28):
know which way it was, like what I wanted to
really focus in on. I had a few ideas, and
part of that is also coming up with a name,
and it's really hard to come up with the name
because a lot of them are taken and uh, and
so super Bloom struck me. There's a band called Mr.
Wives and they have a song called super Bloom that
is really really good if you need something to pump
(10:48):
you up. Um. And it really struck me that I
actually was able to go and see the California super
bloom which occurred in the last one was in and
it was all the California poppy and it was just
such a big time. And then even just researching what
a super bloom is, it's I just fell in love
with the with just the science of it and what
(11:11):
a super bloom is is it is actually a botanical
phenomenon and it doesn't happen every year, and in order
for it's it's this whole giant super bloom of wild
flowers and an order for the super bloom to happen,
it only happens in desert landscapes where it's traditionally obviously drier.
But for the super bloom to happen, you have to
have it a very wet, rainy season, like it has
(11:33):
to just rain and just have the heaviest, never ending
rain downpour, and that because of the heavy, heavy rain,
the water is able to nurture the seeds underneath the ground.
And because of that rain, the seeds become stronger and
are nurtured and are ready to end. They're actually able
to grow and burst from the ground and create this
(11:54):
beautiful super bloom. So I think that we can all
say we've been changed, since there is no one I
know who hasn't had to have difficult conversations with family,
who hasn't had to have difficult conversations with themselves, who
hasn't experienced loss or grief um in any form, And
(12:15):
so I really kind of I was inspired by the
concept of sitting down with people to kind of reflect
on periods of time where even though it seemed like
that was nothing could get better and it was the
worst experience of their life, that's actually the time where
they were being nurtured and becoming the best, most strong
version of themselves to really come out the other side
and bloom. So that's kind of the heart and the
(12:38):
concept of um of what this new podcast is and
in the root of the conversations that I'm having. And
you know, it's been, it's been. I was able to
talk to Tanya last week, she's on the podcast um
Um I was. It was so fun um and and
(12:58):
like one of the conversations I was really moved by.
I spoke with Amanda Knox a few months ago, and
you know, I remember following her case and she's our
age and so it's really and she's a mother now
and so to reflect on what she's been through, and
so you know, there's various um it's very like the
conversations are broad as far as who I'm speaking with
(13:18):
and what we're necessarily speaking about, but the theme of
just rebirth and growth is throughout. For sure. Has it
made you feel um like comfortable and safe opening up
about what you've been through? Like have you have like
hearing other people's experiences and struggles. Has it made you
feel like, Okay, there's a there's that feeling of hope
(13:41):
and greener pastures in the future for me, the super
bloom Like have you felt that? I, well, so I have.
With the introductory episode to the podcast is actually just
me on the mic. It's not an interview at all.
And I appropriately named the episode in the Dirt, and
so you can take that for what you will. And
(14:04):
I'm just simply admitting that I am in the dirt,
you know. And and so that's where I'm at right now,
and that's totally okay. And um, so I've I've always
had a hard time, I think, really opening up. I mean,
put me at a dinner party and I'm just an
open book. But especially on social media, I feel very
awkward in front of the camera. I always do get
(14:26):
nervous about speaking on a microphone. Um, and I've always
been that way. Yeah, yeah, I can. I can be
someone who obsesses for a while, wondering if I if
something came out the wrong way or so. Yeah, it's
that type a perfectionist and so interesting. I would not
guess that about you, uh huh huh. Yeah, I know.
I've done a lot of therapy. Is awesome. It really
(14:47):
helps helped me a lot over the years, not just
obsess about like one thing that came out wrong at
a dinner party or like an event or anything. UM.
But yeah, I've I've found it cathartic in my own way.
I think for anyone that listens. I start each episode
off with, UM, essentially a personal essay that I write.
(15:08):
I was gonna ask you if you write that and
then you read it right, okay, because I was like,
this is way too poised and thoughtful. Like I was like,
when we're doing the podcast, we do not sound like that.
I was listening to and I was like, she's glad
this is something she wrote down and she's reading and
it has to be yes, yes, it makes me feel better. Actually,
(15:31):
I think even if we wrote him down, we I
don't know that. I don't know how you know, it's
very your podcast is very thoughtful. Like it's a story
that she's like, she's obviously so she's written it and
she reads it, but it ties into the guests in
a certain way. That's very It's like a short, little
anecdotal story and it's like very thought out. And I
was like, wow, how do you what's the process of
doing that? I love that? Thanks. I funny enough. I've
(15:55):
always like writing classes have always been like my little
secret hobby. UM. I've always found myself in like a
course or a weekend intensive or even there's a great
improv studio in l A that instead of taking improv classes,
I found myself taking the like essay writing classes. UM.
So it's been like my version of kind of like
(16:15):
journaling or when I get overwhelmed. Um. But like, for instance,
I was reminded a friend of mine text me and
was like this this I loved this essay part. And
I didn't even remember when I said, but I interviewed, um.
I interviewed a woman who has a great uh stand
up routine and a lot of people know where as
Lady a d h D. And so she was diagnosed
(16:36):
with a d h D in her forties. She's also
started a career as a stand up comedian later in life.
And it's like her story is wonderful and amazing and
inspiring and and but she also, um, it feels like
she's always like the loudest one in the room. So
I started the episode off talking about an experience I had,
you know, a couple of months ago, where I felt
(16:57):
like the loudest person in the room and it had
to do with me, like crying in a restaurant and
feeling just overwhelmed and feeling like I'm too much and
all because of the way someone described into growny and
I was moved to tears and and just so obviously
this is why I write them down because I can't
speak about it as eloquently as I do when I
actually type it all out. Um. But I try to
(17:21):
take things from my own life that um and share
stories and moments that I have found as a little
like I don't know if you want to call them
like winks from the universe or those moments where you go,
this feels significant for some reason. And so I have
a dear family friend who who she calls them God winks,
(17:42):
and I really love that. And I'm not necessaryly, it's
just something that I really like that. So whether you
call them little universe winks or godwins or we love
godwinks over here on this show, yeah, so um So
those are the moments I try to tie into each
episode because I feel like they're worth sharing. I like
the term in the dirt because I do feel like
(18:04):
you go through those moments and you go, like I
saw this video the other day, and it was saying,
how you know, like when it's really hot outside, like
in the summer, and you're like, I don't I don't
know if i'll ever feel comfortably cool again, Like I
can't even imagine that I'll ever like I can't imagine
feeling cold because I'm so miserably hot right now, right
and then the winter and the fall comes and you
(18:24):
feel cold again, and then it's so cold that you're like,
I just want to feel warm. I don't know if
I'll ever get warm again because I'm so cold, and
then sure enough the summer comes, and it was saying,
how like that's how sometimes it is with like the
happy moments and the sad moments in life, Like when
you're when you're happy, you're like, I can't imagine ever
being sad, like I'm everything's going right for me, I'm
(18:44):
so happy. And then sure enough something happens because that's life,
and you feel sadness and you feel down, and then
the like best reminder is that sometimes when you're going
through the sad parts, when you're in the dirt and
you're in the growth process where you're like, I don't
know if I can ever if i'll ever feel joy
or happiness or see like the light it comes again,
(19:05):
you know. And it was like such a reminder. I
like that term in the dirt because every beautiful flower,
every beautiful thing that we see, starts in the dirt
where you don't see the growth of it, like the
roots and where it's happening. And I think that's a
beautiful like analogy for what it looks like to be
a human. I want to ask you more about being
(19:25):
in the dirt, but we're gonna take a quick break,
(19:45):
take it away, telling you thank you so much. You know,
I'm just making sure that it's a well oiled machine
over here when we need to. Yeah, you keep us oiled, responsible,
Susan over here responsible, I'm sure Rebecca responsible over here.
Thank you so much. But we're talking about being in
the dirt, and I feel like, do you want to
(20:08):
share or like, do you really feel like do you
still feel like you're in the dirt? I feel like
you are the podcast in the when the new year started? Right, Yeah,
but that's you know, I did um. But I also
feel like, yeah, I'm absolutely still in the dirt. I'll
just say that, and not in a bad way. I mean,
what I think is been really interesting is also realizing
(20:32):
that I'm someone who likes to just make everything better.
I want to fix it. Give me a problem, I'll
come up with ten solutions. I I like and I
like a schedule. I like a plan. I don't like
when there's no plan. Um, I'm with you, with you.
But that's where I think this time in my life
right now, I'm I have some you know, personal, very
(20:54):
big changes going on in my life, you know my
and so I'll just say that just to keep it
very simple. Um, that involves just a lot of grief,
and it's in big changes can have all the feelings,
and I think, um, it's easy to distract yourself when
you're going through a big change in life. And so
(21:15):
this process of making this podcast and kind of looking
at those little moments of life and actually noticing them
has also really taught me how important it is to
just make friends with the grief a little bit, not
sit in it, not just wallow in it, but sit
next to it and hold its hand and say, I
see you, and I need to understand you too, because
I am going to be on the other side of this.
(21:37):
But but I have to also honor that it's okay
to have all of these feelings. And it's important to
honor those feelings because that also means that you know
you feel that way because you cared to begin with.
So I feel like there's it doesn't mean that it's
necessarily a bad thing, and I've actually seen um the
positive of It's funny. I actually was on a walk
(21:58):
this morning with a girlfriend and and we were just
talking about similar feelings of you know, overall theme of
being in the dirt I'll just say, And and we
started talking about like future selves because you know, when
you know you're going to get through the other side
of it, you know you will eventually, and that future
person and is always just like so happy. They're like, man,
I would look how great I handled that. Like they're
(22:19):
just they're just delated. They feel stronger, they feel better,
and it's like the present person is always like, yeah,
you're welcome, You're welcome. This is for you. You're welcome
for doing the hard part for you. Yeah. Yeah, I
will say though, I feel like, you know, the thing
that I think is so beautiful about talking about these
(22:40):
things is like a lot of people have gone through
what you're going through. Do you know what I mean?
And have come out on getting a divorce. I think
that's the word that it still feels weird to say,
but yes, that's what I'm going through. And like it's
this word that I feel like has this like certain connotation,
but it is. I don't I mean not to make
it light, but it is very common and people are
(23:01):
do get on the other side, and like really beautiful
things can happen post rainstorm, and I just feel like,
you know, I want to, Um, I want to help
you and like be that light for you like you
were for me, you know, two or three years ago
and I was kind of going through a little bit
of a storm, and so like I just want I
just want you to know that you always have me
(23:23):
to kind of you. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.
It is really beautiful I feel I don't know, have
you guys felt the shift, you know in this kind
of post world where I feel like either people are
still just as distanced or all of a sudden people
are so heart open and willing like to lead with
their vulnerability in a new way. Um. I've definitely felt that.
(23:46):
And what I will say is, yeah, you're completely right,
the divorce is very common. It is not this like
thing that no one has ever done before. But what
I have found interesting is like anything else, like in
until you've been through the process of you know, losing
a loved one, Like I don't know what it's like
(24:06):
to lose a loved one, but anyone who has been
through that experience before, they have an understanding with each other.
And I don't know what it's like to you know,
or even having a baby, Like when you when you
see someone else who's been in that like first six
weeks of having a baby, you just know what they're
going through on some cellular level. So it has been
(24:26):
really beautiful to just see um, so many people even
just like strangers at airports, you know, if you you
find yourself like just airport bars have just been so
funny when you start talking to people, and people are
just so willing to share these days, and so I
have been so encouraged by this kind of like shift
and willingness to be vulnerable, um, especially when it's come
(24:49):
to the topic of like separation and divorce. It's people
have been very willing to share their stories and and
I've been really moved by it. So I try to
do my small apart, but also with keeping healthy boundaries
because you're in it, you're in it. Yeah. Yeah, I
felt like that a lot when I before Haley and
I went public with our relationship, and like the coming
(25:11):
out process was very interesting because my friends who weren't
going through that or had never been through that, We're
just like, but you're going to get so much support,
Like you're gonna be so loved, you know, like think
about all the positives. But when you're in it, and
it's like you're going through that, you're like, but what
if they don't, you know, like you're thinking of all
the things of like what could go wrong, the fear
(25:32):
you're not thinking. And it was like at that point,
it was like so many people have done it before me,
so many people have been through the process of coming
out and sharing their love, and I felt so scared
because it felt so personal and heavy to me. Even
though so many other people have done it, It's like
such a unique experience when it's your own, you know, like,
regardless of how common it's, it's still heavy and it's
(25:56):
still your own. Like going through it feels very personal.
Did you have people you were able did you find
anyone who you were able to connect with who did
understand on some sort of you know, equal level, because
you also, you know, are not just coming out to friends, family,
but like to the world in a very public way. Well,
I think because all my friends and family and like
(26:18):
people close to me knew about it. It was like
when we did go public last year, there was this
sense of like safety, knowing that we had that support,
which was the people that matter so much to us.
So it almost felt like I I felt ready because
I knew that I had the support that I needed
regardless of what people responded or how they reacted. Um,
(26:41):
but yeah, I mean I think you know, everyone you
talked to who has gone through the process of either
coming out or recognizing that um they're queer or whatever
it is, they kind of have a similar experience of
like navigating it so that you can relate to people,
even though if it's very different because everyone's situation is different,
You find people and you connect to things like, oh yeah,
(27:03):
I like felt that exact same thing, which is really
important to like be able to share that and open
it up because most of my friend group they're all straight,
you know, like most of my friends are true, I
didn't have that, you know. It was luckily I have
two younger sisters that are both um gay, and they
they were very close to me at the time and
(27:24):
living with me, so I had them actually for a
lot of support. Even though they're my younger sisters. It
was really important to me. So I think it's just
very important to find your people and to find a
place that's safe while you're going through something like that. Yeah,
and take your time, yeah, yeah, and take your time.
And I like that you said sitting with the grief
because I think so often it's so easy to distract
(27:45):
from what's going on and look outside. Yes, it is
so easy, so so easy. Yes, what's your I really
resonate it when you said someone texting you about something
specific or like I really need help or advice going
(28:06):
through this. But then if someone says something vague, I
do the same thing, like my brain shuts off. I'm
like I can't respond to that. No, I know. It
makes me think back to like being in school and
when you're passing notes, you know what I mean, Like
pass a note that's like like do you like so
and so circule yes or no, Like that's like big
(28:27):
important information, you know, like don't be like what's up? Yeah?
Like what what do you? Like? How are you? How
am I? I don't know? Like I'm on my third coffee,
like I'm trying to get gas, I can't put my
keys and now used to sit down for five minutes
and put out a text message about how I'm doing.
(28:47):
Right now, I'm barely alive. That's how I'm doing. I'm
not going to write that. I'm like, that's a phone
call conversation, but there's a good chance I won't answer
the phone, So I don't know what to tell Like,
that's definitely a phone call, but I don't know when
I'll be ready to enter the phone. So yeah, you
(29:08):
give me a nine one one. I love a nine
one one. Do you feel like you've met because you
moved to Nashville kind of? Was it during the pandemic?
It's right, well, I mean we're all at this what's like,
what is what isn't the pandemic at this point? Um,
it's I moved last August. You feel like you have
like a like a like a home base there? Do
(29:29):
you feel at home? There no chance I ever moved
back to l A. I don't think so, unless like
I actually got a job that made me be there.
But I really love it here. I mean I spent
almost a decade in Atlanta, so I was used to
that speed. Um, I've always loved Nashville. I mean I
drive to my my drive my kids to school, and
(29:51):
we passed by horses and turkeys. I mean even on
our walk around the lake today, like my girlfriend and
I saw like deer and wild turkeys and little car
knolls and turtles, you know, And it's just like that's
our runyan, you know what. And it's beautiful and seasonal
and I can breathe. And I want l A to
be a city that works for me so much, and
(30:11):
it just didn't. I found myself to be there and
kind of um going backwards in a way of waiting
by the phone or comparing myself to a lot of people,
and and the city just felt so big and it
didn't bring out like the best of me as a
as a mother, I felt overwhelmed and trying to kind
of go and do a bunch of things and activities
(30:31):
with the kids. And here I feel like we can
just do so many fun things in a day. I
also I am not scared of moving. I moved a
lot when I was a kid. I travel alone, Like
I I'm fine making new friends. Like that's never anything
that's been really scary. It doesn't mean it's not scary
in the moment. And weird to try to like make
(30:52):
a new friend in your thirties. I want to go
get coffee or like a glass of wine to a
and um, you know, like what movies do you like?
Did you hear you on like bumble dff way? I know? Um,
I got really like I didn't do things I so
I before moving here, I actually did a Christmas movie
(31:14):
where I got to play Reba McIntire's daughter. And one
of the producers of it was Melissa Joan Hart and
she lives here and so she um, so I got
her number from her mom. I creeped in, was like, hey,
paula kind of your daughter's number because I need friends.
And so she invited me out to like this mom
(31:35):
group and they are the most and like write or
die women ever like that. I mean, I remember we
all there on this text chain, which you know if
you I'm not a big texture, but they text all
day all that there's like thirty messages, but I love
reading it like it's my version of like it's like
dumois and then that text change. I'm set um, but
(31:59):
there are me saying and so we do like movie
nights and dinner nights. I'm also the co leader of
my daughter's girl Scout troop that we are also a
very biggest thieves group of women and so fun, very fun.
It's very very fun. Yes, if you guys need cookies,
I can hook you up. Let me know. Yeah, I do.
Are you like true Beverly Hills? Like? Is that you
(32:21):
just like we are the opposite. We're pretty chill, were
like the very chill like for all the type a
stuff that I do. This is where we're pretty um,
We're pretty relaxed. Yeah, I keep forgetting. I want to
set you up on a friend date with Meredith Seacrest
because she lives in Nashville and she's so cute. Yeah,
I gotta, I gotta fire up the text chain because
she's so like you guys are one and the same,
(32:43):
like little angels from Heaven, little Nashville angels. When you
do you know you're in anigram type? Do you know that?
Have you ever done that? Wait? Why why? Because everyone
I have been asked is almost every week for the
last like three months to decide we operate. And the
(33:07):
this was my last like girls like night. We went
and had Margarita's and and that's all like my two
girlfriends that were like all about the instagrams going deep.
So finally on the way home, I took the test
like in my uber and I was like, guys, after
a few Margharita's, I'm a six. And my friend was like, no,
you're not, You're a ten. And what's the six? What's
the six? I don't know, but she thought I was
(33:29):
like downgrading myself. She's like, no, you're a ten of
a woman, she was. I was like, what do you do?
I thought there were only nine intagrams. She's like, why
are you selling yourself short? I was like, I'm talking
about the instagram. She's like, oh, I thought you were
feeling bad about yourself. I was like, no, how did
we get here when you just said ten? I was
like I don't know how to tell her there are
(33:50):
not ten aim So I'm not as familiar with that
Asbecca is, because well I'm not super familiar. I was
just thinking about a lot of the things that you said,
and I relate to a lot of them, But then
like the planning type a thing is more Tania, but
I don't I was curious if you New Year's but
you're six apparently a six after few margharitas, so I
(34:11):
don't know if that changes. I'm i'd probably be different
after a few margarita. We should all have an indiogram
sober and indiogram after a few margharitas and see if
they line up. Um. But I was also I just
I feel I really connect to the part of overthinking conversations,
(34:31):
Like when I go to social events, I leave and
I'm like, did I why did I share what I
shared with that stranger that I just met, Like, honestly,
I like overshare so much out of I don't know, nervousness,
social anxiety, whatever it is. And then I leave and
I'm like anxious about that. And same thing on the podcast,
where like, I mean, we've been doing this for a
(34:52):
long time, but I still have times where I'm like,
did I Misspeah? You're fine, so I you know that
why I asked. I don't know if it has anything
to do with your indiogram. It could I don't know,
but I'm like, it's a word that I've never ever
heard before. And in the last couple of months, it's
like every single week I'm like, what, what godwink is
(35:14):
this to say? Maybe there's something there. I don't know
what it would be. I don't either. It's got something
to do with six I don't know. I know you
do a lot of therapy, but are you lik into
self help books? No? I try like it's interesting. I
don't know. No, I'm not. I'm just not. Yeah, I'm
(35:36):
not like, no, I want to be. I I also like,
I used to be a very like voracious reader and
then all of a sudden when I had babies and
it was really hard, Like my brain just doesn't stick
to the page very well. Um, I can do it
when I'm like cramming for a podcast episode. I tried
to read the book or most of the book, um,
(35:59):
But other than that, it's it's tough for me to
really get through it because I feel like you're somebody
that's very like self aware. Yes, I believe that I am.
I think that there's but I mean that could be
a whole other podcast episode. Probably I'd have to check
with my therapist on that one. Um, but it is
I do. Look, I love therapy. I've I've been in
(36:22):
therapy since I was eighteen, UM with various therapists through
the years, and what I've found is, um, I like
going in with like one thing I'm trying to really
navigate and seeing if that person is able to kind
of walk me through that kind of chapter, that path. Um.
But I love it. I I encourage anyone to give
it a go. If you're too scared, just go for it.
(36:44):
And also, if you go to therapy and you don't
like the therapist the first time, it's fine. It's like dating,
Like just because you go and have a drink doesn't
mean you're married to them. And sometimes they make it
weird when you try to break up with them. Like
I tried a therapist here and she was like, give
me one more chance, and I was like no, And
then I was like, wow, this is a breakthrough for me,
this is like healthy boundaries. No, she was like giving
(37:06):
you a chance to like work on what y'all talk
about testing me, testing me like a pass. I graduated
from your therapy going to college. Now I want to
talk about what you see if you want to talk
(37:27):
about it. I want to talk about what you see
moving forward career wise personally. But first we're gonna take
a break. Okay, we are back. I scrapped the name earlier,
(37:55):
but as I said in the beginning, you were all
night little show called the Vampire Diaries. What did I
say earlier, Vampire's Diary, Vampire Diary, the Vampire's Diaryire is
this diary? Um? Do you ever see a reunion type
show happening? It's so funny. I got asked this question
(38:17):
recently and a questions. I mean, but I with the
show just technically ended last year because we had the
original spinoff and then we had Legacies, um, which just
finished in the spring of one, so I think it'd
be too soon. You know it it is. I still
(38:39):
pinched myself. I can't believe that I was a part
of something that just especially now with streaming, people continue
to watch things all the time, and it's you know,
it's like you get older, but then the people watching
it get younger, and then that feels really interesting. Um.
Today at the coffee shop, at these really sweet girls
in college come up and they were your voice sounds
(39:01):
so different, and I was like, well, I've aged thirteen years.
That's a funny comment to make. That is such a
funny comment to make. But I do like that. I
do like the idea behind this, Like where do you
see yourself? Because you are such a planner, Where do
you see yourself because you just launch this new podcast,
Like do you see this going a certain direction? Like
(39:22):
where do you see yourself going career wise personally in
the next five years? Or do you have dreams? Well,
I think that's no dreams. Nope, I've decided to not
dream anymore. Part of those, I have some vision board goals,
but I did have for many years at when I
(39:42):
left the Vampire Diaries, Um, I did have an idea
of what I thought my life was supposed to look like.
And I was like, okay, so here I am. Now
I'm entering my thirties. I'm going to do this, I'm
gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, and then and
then I'm gonna take a break in them and do this,
and then there's the rest of my life. And when
life changes and you realize that you can't really plan
(40:05):
everything and it doesn't matter how many times you write
it down on the calendar, like life has its own
plans sometimes, and um, I just really had to rethink
about why I felt it's so necessary to have an
idea of what it was supposed to look like. And
I had these blinders on and I didn't have that
(40:25):
when I was younger. I I looking back, I didn't.
I had like general goals that I was always was
working towards something. But I was still listening for those
little opportunities and knew that sometimes you know, it's like
instead of going through the front door, sometimes you go
through the side door, or you go through the window.
And I just had not been really doing that for
a period of time. I was just so focused on
(40:46):
it had to be a certain way of the trajectory
of my career. Um. And so now I'm much more
open to see, you know, what else is out there.
And I really I don't know. I love being on
a set. I love working in television. Television is my
like happy place. I feel very confused on a movie.
(41:07):
I've not done very many of them, but I'm just like,
why are we only here for like a couple of
weeks or a couple of months. This doesn't make sense.
We're all supposed to know each other for years. Um,
and I I got so spoiled on the Vampire Diaries.
You don't usually get a run like that, so um,
I really don't know. Um. I also for a while.
(41:27):
I mean, you guys will appreciate this because I was
just was like Ellen Pompeio, she's got the dream, and
then that's what I'm gonna do, replicate her career. I'm
gonna turn thirty three years old and I'm going to
be on a show and I'm gonna be there for
like eighteen years and then that's it. And then I'm
just gonna be happy and making money and like, I
got my babies and I can just take them to school,
go work, and then that's the life. Um. And then
(41:49):
when I hit thirty three thirty four and that didn't happen,
I was like, well, I guess it's over. I have
failed and I will never ever achieve Ellen Pompeio's dream,
which had become my. And it is so silly to
put a time stamp on what happens in life, and
especially I think for anyone that was watching Award shows lately,
it's so fun to see all of these artists and
(42:10):
performers who are up there winning awards, going angle. This
is hilarious. I thought my career was over thirty years ago,
and so there is no one way that it's supposed
to look um right now. I'm just very I'm kind
of I'm here. I'm showing up and interested to see
like what windows and indoors and and you know a
little pockets are open um to kind of that. That's
(42:34):
as that's as good as I have planned right now,
which is for me actually a really positive thing. Yeah,
it's interesting that you say that, because I feel like
I've been some of that vision boards. I do it
every single year, and I used to I was always
attached to the outcome. It was always I was attached
to every single outcome, and when those things didn't happen
when I thought they were supposed to happen, it was
just like heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak. And so what
(42:54):
I realized, it's like it's having vision and having passion.
Having purpose is one thing, but like attaching it to
a specific time online is where things get. You know,
you're attaching an outcome that you don't know when that's
going to happen. So it's like I've had to learn
this like fine balance of having these goals and having
vision and passion and purpose and drive, but also letting
(43:14):
life just kind of unfold in its own timing, which
is very difficult for me, but you know, working through it,
and it's so much more fun when that happens. But
I'm the same way like I. But it when when
when when all of a sudden you go, wow, I
can't believe this is how it came together, but it did,
and it actually feels fantastic, and I didn't like it
(43:37):
when it does reveal itself. I mean even just Oprey
Plaza hosting SML ending it with like dreams come true.
You know, it's like it's beautiful and you never know
how it's going to happen. Um. And and also sometimes
dreams change and it's okay too. I Mean, I grew
up wanting to be a pop star and that is
so far from what I ever want to do at
(44:00):
this point, So I you know, dreams change and evolve
as well, and there's room for that. Um. What about
writing that seems to be like a passion? Is that
something you'd ever wanted to be a career? Is that
one of those things that you hold is like a
hobby and something that's an escape. It's it's funny. I
(44:21):
I love writers like I love them like I just
think that they're so cool, like instead of I would
rather be at a table full of writers and screenwriters
than at a table full of actors like that would
it's just more I don't know, I really like listening
to those conversations. And I'm not to like sound small
or anything. I just, Um, I have a lot of
(44:42):
friends who are writers, and I'm just in awe of them.
So it's really been hard for me to ever consider
myself any sort of or to be a writer. But
I I don't know that that I would absolutely be
open to maybe one day. Well, you're good at it.
As a listener of the Super of a Super Blue podcast,
you are good at it. So if you could just
even like compile all those things that you really like
(45:04):
the audio, you could do like, um, what are those
call maps? Like the call map where you like read?
Like reading? I used the sleep the Sleep stories. I mean,
it doesn't always work, but I've tried. I know it
works like half of the time. You're like when I
(45:24):
take a melatonin and other things, it works great. I know,
it's funny. There's I've been I've been like, I've been trouble.
I've had trouble sleeping, and so I've been binge watching
shows and so I rebene watched Ship's Creek and then
I've been been watching Outlander because I never watched it.
But I went to Scotland last fall by myself for
like a solo woman like I did like a solo
(45:46):
trip and road trip through Scotland to go fly fishing
and golfing as one lady does. And so I was
driving and all the places I ended up like all
my guides and everyone was like, so you're here because
of Outlander and I was like, nope, don't know. I
don't know. No, I'm not. But you're a woman and
you're in Scotland alone, so obviously you love Outlander. And
(46:07):
I had no idea. But so I started watching that
um at night like when I'm kind of falling to sleep,
and one of the people from the show just did
asleep story, like it helps me fall asleep, funny Scottish,
like the Scottish like accent right now is helping me. Like,
so maybe you can try that. Highly recommend just maybe
put on like a Scottish audio book. Oay, something about
(46:30):
the cadence in which like the Scottish accent is spoken.
It's just very relaxing. I'll try that. We watched it.
We watch Friends at night, Haley like normally I fall asleep,
but Hailey watches like we It's always on when she
was ready to go to sleep. Maybe if I had
like a calm with like Jennifer Aniston, I fall asleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(46:56):
I don't know if Monica would relax me, but or
Ross about I would love a ross one. Well I am.
I just like want everything that you want for yourself,
for you, because I really think that you're such an
(47:16):
incredible person and I want you to once you're super
bloom happens, I want it to be everything that you
hope for and dream for. So me too, I can't
wait to see your super blooming. Oh yeah, how can
(47:39):
you wait to see it? And asking my intagram can
wait to see the scientific phenomenon that only happens after
a lot of rain is pounding on the soil and
then something that happens and then something beautiful comes out
of it. Yes, we're ready to see that you guys
(48:00):
are both pervs. Herberts. I wasn't going there until she
went there, and then I've been watching too much Outlander.
That's what happens show. It's not it's a very historical show.
It's a lot of history that I wasn't aware of
mixed in with PERV seeing super bloom of people. Do
(48:22):
I need to watch that show? It's very good and
it's very good, like not a relaxing show though, Like,
isn't it kind of intense? Yeah, so that's interesting that
you're but that's where I'm operating. That's how I relaxed.
I need to see other people living in chaos to relax. Yes,
(48:44):
that there might be something there to that. Yeah, it's
like Housewives and Outlander kills me out house stressed. I
feel like last night Potomac watching I was like, yes,
they're also upset and stress out. I feel so much
better now. Oh that's so interesting because I watched that
show when I get major anxiety, like, I can't watch it.
(49:08):
Maybe your life's too calm right now, so you're not
relaxed by other people. It's not very calm. I wouldn't
describe it as calm, and the slightest, but OK, well,
it was so wonderful seeing you and talking with you
and having you back on scrubbing in. We love you
(49:28):
and are fans of you. Fans for everybody to check
out your podcast, a super bloom podcast. Everybody goes show
cand to some love, tell her your scrubber sender all
the the scrubber love and encouragement vibes. For sure, You'll
always provide um. Where can people follow you and know
about you and watch it? Do you have TikTok? I do?
(49:51):
I need to get back on it. I like was
like coming in strong for a minute because apparently my
voice went like viral for some like not my voice,
well my voice technically, but Caroline, remember the burn it?
The can' like, um burn it? Burn it? Did? I
say stand there and looks stupid? So I said burn it. Wait,
(50:12):
let's do that again. Maybe our podcast can go viral.
We need it here here first re viral moment it
goes I don't know, god, burn it? Did I say
stand there and looks stupid? No, I said burn it
something like that. But I had someone helping me with
TikTok because I had to literally hire someone because I
(50:35):
didn't understand the app because I'm don't. My brain doesn't
work like that, and and she was like, you have
to do it, and I was like, this is so funny.
It's from the show. I think was it Catherine who
did it? She's like, no, it's your voice. I'm like, oh,
yeah it was. And then I was in New York
and I'd like the a very like youth people like
you're just young people being like you're you're the girl
(50:57):
from TikTok. And I was just like, yeah, kids, I'm
here and you're like all that hard work to be
a girlfriend TikTok. That is so funny. I will say,
you know, Haley had an episode. I don't she had
an episode on Van Pard. She died quickly, but she
(51:18):
always said you were so kind to her. She was awesome.
I definitely remember, Yeah, she was awesome with the angel vibes.
That's just you know, how to fly. Just wow, that
was exciting hearing you do that on here. Honestly, and
like on it it is funny. TikTok is funny in
the sense that it'll pick the most random thing that
(51:41):
has no like significance to it. I was going to
totally miss that trend that makes sense to me, or
I too am not so good on the TikTok, but
I'm trying well. I'm gonna be working with the team
again in a few weeks, so then the TikTok's will
be rolling again. If I don't know how to point
(52:02):
at the words and make them disappear, so one day
I'll figure that out. Oh yeah, yeah, I can. Any
TikTok that like is any sort of has any type
of element outside of a video. Becca has to do
it for me. Yeah, I'm decent um, But where can
people follow you on the TikTok sorry TikTok? I think
(52:24):
on it's Candice King on TikTok Um we will and
then on Instagram I'm at Candice King and I also
have at a super Bloom pod and a super Boom
A Super Bloom podcast comes out every Thursday, and I've
also just started a second um episode each week that's
(52:44):
coming out on Monday's and it's called like cold Brew
Caffeinated Conversations. I'm still coming up with the name. I'm
just very I'm answering questions and talking about pop culture
stuff while drinking an obscene amount of cold brew, which
is how I usually super my day. Love that we
love it to to podcasts a week situation. We love
(53:04):
you so much, We love you so much for having me. Yeah,
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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