Almost Famous In Depth: Amanda Stanton

Ben and Ashley sit down with Amanda Stanton for an IN DEPTH honest conversation about her life. 

She tells us never before heard details about her break up with Bobby Jacobs and she shares a terrifying story when her pictures were hacked.

And, what her life was like before going on Ben's season and what she has in the works for the future. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:45):
almost famous in depth. It's a rainy day. We're up
in Napa Valley. Ashley and I are together having a
glass of wine. This is my first glass of wine
in a week. Really, you know why I want to diet.
I know I am too, so I've been trying to
be better. But like I've gone three days without it.
So I'm drinking a Glasswe We'll see what this takes me.

(01:06):
This could get weird for me today. Um, but we're
here with one of our favorite people, Amanda stanton Amanda
stanton Um was on Ben Higgins's season of The Bachelor. Um.
She's also appeared on Paradise. I had a couple of
relationships that we'll talk about during the podcast, a lot

(01:28):
of lessons, learned a lot of um amazing accomplishments along
the way. But I want to set the mood right now.
We're having a glass of wine. We're sitting across from
each other at a beautiful table and a beautiful resort
with a fire going, and it's raining outside. So if
I start snoring because I'm pretty relaxed, I feel like
Ben's doing a fireside chat right now. It's kind of

(01:50):
a fireside chat. Amanda, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for
having me. Can I ask her a little like warm
up question? Since we are in Napa, I mean ard
drinking wine? What is your wine of choice? So right
now we're drinking Chardonnay. So I'm a big white wine person.
You are, yeah, but I've been really into like the
sauvignon blanc lately. Isn't that white? It's white? Yeah? Yeah,

(02:13):
But I used to be like strictly chardonnay. Yeah, okay, yes,
you're like you're like a housewife of Orange County basically basically, yeah,
I'm on my way there. Okay, that could really be
your next show. I'm sure you can find your way
on there. I want to start this whole thing. Okay,
let's say talking about Let's let's backtrack. Let's start in

(02:33):
the middle, little backtrack after that. Okay, I met you
obviously during The Bachelor. Um, I remember you from night
one because you have this like and I think Ashley
will completely agree with me. You have this beauty about
you that that radiates and stands out. And I remember
one night one going that girl is gorgeous and she
doesn't talk, Yes, doesn't talk, didn't say a word, like

(02:57):
we sat down. When I think of Amanda, I think
of her being a talker. Actually she's just quiet, but
I think her voice is awesome. I do know. I
always thought that you had a bad crap. You really
were that shy at night one. Yeah. So I think
a lot of people don't realize is like when I
went on the show, I was a single mom. I like,

(03:21):
I hadn't even got my nails done in two years.
It was with my kids all the time because my
family lived across the country. They lived in well not
across but in St. Louis, so I was like far
away from them, and I had my kids full time
at the time, so like I just hadn't been social
in a really long time. And then I was kind
of being like thrown into that. So my mom is
actually the one that nominated me for the show. And

(03:41):
I remember when the car was coming to pick me
up to take me there, I was like, I don't
think I can do it, Like I don't want to go.
My mom was like, you better get in the car, Amanda,
and so I went. But I was just like a
deer in headlights, Like I was so nervous, just because
like I had never been away from my kids, I've
never been social. I hadn't gone on the dating forever.
So it was just like a lot for me. Was
best super overwhelm. Was been your first date since your
husband husband? Yeah, it was. It was like my my

(04:04):
first date was like our Mexico date on the Hot
air balloon. This is my first date and like a
very long time to do so it was fun. Yeah, yeah,
it was great, but it was just different for me.
Because like you know, most of the girls that were
going on the show had been like single for a
while or they were young, and just my life was
just very different before then, so I was nervous. You know.

(04:27):
One of the things that stand out to me about
the season the Bachelor is the only time I ever
got really mad at the show. They made me tuck
Amanda's kids in the bed, and I went to her hometown,
and I was excited about meeting her family, and I
remember sitting a ground I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
tuck her kids in the bed, and I knew that
was something that everybody wanted, wanted to have happened, and

(04:48):
I felt like at the time it was I remember
this scenari we were sitting in the living when somebody
comes in and they go, Okay, it's time for bed, Ben,
howboult you go tuck the kids in? And I felt
like I was put on the spot in that moment.
And it was the only time I punched the window
in the van on the way home because I was
so angry because I felt like I was going to
destroy those kids. And also Amanda, you know, was sitting

(05:09):
there and I knew that they had to have a
big impact because I was that first day. I was
those kids first interaction with another man that had been
around their mom. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I think the
thing is, I mean that day specifically, there were so
many other people around, and it was just a crazy
day for them too. I hadn't seen them in like
six weeks. It was the longest I've ever been away
from them. And then we went to the beach, but

(05:30):
it was like you were there, but there was also
producers and tons of other people around. So I don't
think it they really like understood the situation, if that
makes sense. They're a little older now, so now they
get it. Like if I would bring a guy around,
they'd be like, who is this? This is your boyfriend?
But I mean, Charlie, it's so funny when I like
watched that whole episode back. She was literally a baby.

(05:52):
She was so small so she like she couldn't even talk,
so she didn't know but I couldn't talk yet. I mean, yeah,
she was a baby. Yeah. Um, Ben, did you know
going into Top four that you thought that it would
probably be the week that Amanda was gonna go home?
Or were you really just did not know? Where you

(06:13):
stood with her Kayla at the time, between the two
of them, Quite honestly, I knew that that was the
moment still that that Lauren and Joejo were standing out,
and which is why I singled out Kayla, Yeah, and
and a man and Kaylor And I think if I
remember my thought process, which it was with Becca as well, right,

(06:34):
I thought Becca was incredible Tilly and still his day,
I think I love Becca Um. But it was almost
like in my mind at the time, it was how
long do you want to keep somebody around when you
know at the end it's going to be somebody else?
And after meeting Amanda's kids, I was like, how much
do you want to keep a mom away from kids? Like?
How long can you continue to do that knowing that

(06:55):
you know at the end of this it's going to
be one of two other people and probably the one person.
But even then, you know, I know, it gets weird.
And I I think I feel for any bachelor down
in that final four bachelorrette because you do care about
them all, because you've met their families at this point
and we had a great, great hometown Um I got

(07:15):
to meet the whole family, the sister Um and like
you said, there are two kids, and they were they
were babies at the time, but Kins he still had
I remember you told me on the show like Kins
had this personality that was like radiant. And you're like
you remember this. We're driving the car in Malibu and
you said, uh no, there's Orange County and you said,
Kinds is really my best friend. I was like, that's funny,
that's a really cute mom thing to say. And then

(07:37):
I met her. Actually, yeah, tell a little bit, like
who is Like we see it on Instagram? They have
these massive personalities. Yeah, but why does she stand out
like that? Like why is she your best friend? Your daughter?
Intimidates me to be honest. No, yeah, she's she's like
she's something else. Um. So when she was born, it

(07:57):
was funny because like as soon as we took our
home from the hospital, like she already had a personality.
It was the funniest thing. But she's always just been
like super funny and she's just kids. Um. But shortly
after so a lot of people don't know this, but
when she was about ten months old, I actually split

(08:18):
from her dad and I moved out and we moved.
This is before my parents moved to St. Louis. We
moved back into my parents house, so like we just
kind of been through a lot and it was just
us too, and so we just kind of had this bond,
like it was just like me and her, you know,
And so we had that for a while and then
I ended up getting back together with her dad. But
then we had Charlie and she was kind of the

(08:40):
baby and kids was always like my helper. She was
my little sidekick. Like she's always looked out for me
all the time. And I think a lot of people
don't understand that relation kind of relationship, but like she's
like very protective over me. She's really mature for her age.
I don't know. I just have a very different relationship
with kids and I do with Charlie. Charlie's like my baby.
I'm like obsessed with her. I still baby talker, but
me and kids are just like best friends. She's like

(09:01):
my little sidekick. We've been through a lot together. So yeah,
I'm just intrigue because like for all the moms out
there listening, yeah, like they get this. I don't. Like
I said it last week. I'm always learning something new
about Last week I learned about brawl size. But can
you explain a little bit like how you believe that works,

(09:21):
Like why is it that kids has looked at you
as a friend and like looked like tried to protect
you and had a maturity level level that's far beyond
her age. Yeah, she's six or seven. She just turned seven.
I mean, I think part of it just like that's
who she is as a person. But then I think
part of it also, like I said, it's because we
went through a lot together, like when she was younger
and then she was kind of my helper always with Charlie,

(09:43):
And I don't know, I think it's a lot of things,
but I also just think it's just kind of her personality.
She's just like an old soul and like a kid's body.
So does she grill guys that you bring home? Yeah,
So it's funny because she's very protective in me and
she's I know a lot of people think that they've
met all these guys and it's very far from the truth. Yeah. Yeah,

(10:05):
so I'll explain that. But um, with my last relationship,
she was so weird about it. She wouldn't even like
throughout her entire relationship, she wouldn't let us, like sit
next together on the couch, Like if she was around,
she'd have to be in the middle. Like she's very protective,
she wants me alter herself all the time. But I
don't know. I think it also just depends on the person,
because when I was with Josh after the show, she

(10:26):
wasn't like that. So I think it's just kind of
I don't know, it just depends. Interesting, So the public
Bachelor Nation does in this perception that you've brought four
guys home, specifically the ones that have been public relationships, Ben, Josh, Robbie,
and then Bobby. But the girls have met all of them, right,

(10:50):
I know that they never got close to Robbie. Yeah,
so so they met Ben, but it was just that
one day while we're filming. UM. And then obviously they
were close to Josh because you moved in with us
for a while. But you know, at that time, like
I actually thought like, oh, this is the person I'm
gonna be with, Like this is the person I'm going
to marry. So you know, that didn't work out. Things
that don't always go as planned. Um. But then Robbie,

(11:11):
Robbie never met the kids, he was never around them,
never came to our house when they were there. The
only time he ever even saw them was like briefly
in the car when they were strapped in the back
of their car seats for like two seconds. But he
he's never ever met them, so I always thought it
was weird. I think he's mentioned it a few times.
I was like, you never met my kids, so we
could we can Robbie Tangent, but I don't think that

(11:32):
would be helpful for yeah, yeah, yeah, but anyways, I
get a little defensive there, um, but yeah, no, he didn't.
And then obviously Bobby met them, but I waited a
while to introduce Bobby to them too. So and he
didn't live with us. Yeah, he didn't live with them
until like the last month of your relationship, the last
two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we didn't live together.

(11:53):
Would there be sleepovers with them with them around? Not
really because they go to their dad's house. So I
was always pretty good about like, well, only like you
can only stape over when the kids are with their dad.
So yeah, not really. But before we dive in, because
I do want to make sure that on this because
the relationships that have been on the show are public

(12:13):
and I think there's been so much left to the imagination.
It really, you know, the questions of how many how
many times, who have these guys met the kids, and
how much time it's been around him, and like this
stuff doesn't get seen, and I want to dive into that.
But before I do that, I really want to focus
because you launched off on The Bachelor and you were
this quiet figure who kind of went through this whole

(12:35):
process and it wasn't for a long time until I
found out that even had kids. Is there anything else
during this time on the show that you wish you
would have told me or that was kind of left
to the imagination, or there's anything you would have done differently? Um?
And and not to like win my heart over right,
Like that's not the that shouldn't be the ultimate goal,
but like just to better express who you are. Yeah,

(12:58):
um no, Actually, I think Guy even said this on
the show, was like, I'm like super happy on my
own And I think the biggest misconception about me is
I think people think that I'm like constantly searching for
like a guy or like a dad for my kids
or something, and it's so far from the truth. I
actually enjoy being single. Um, I love just doing my
own thing with my girls. And I think I kind

(13:20):
of even said that on your season. I think I
said something like, if I meet someone who makes my
life better than that's great. But I'm not like desperately
looking for somebody. And I think that's like the one
thing that just like shocks me. People are always like,
oh my god, you're so focused on like finding a guy,
And I think obviously because I was on a show
where it's kind of what you're doing, people assume that
that's all I care about. But I think that's probably

(13:42):
the biggest misconception about me, just because actually really like
being single. And are you enjoying right now being single? Yeah,
I'm like loving it right now. So I think a
lot of people were like concerned about at the end
because people were like, oh my gosh, she's been so
public with Bobby and you even made did you make
a comment about how like you saw him being the

(14:03):
person you were going to marry before the breakup? Gosh.
So this was like probably two weeks or a week
and a half before he broke up with me. We
did an interview with US Weekly because my clothing line
was about to launch and so we did this whole
interview where they came to a house and they asked questions,
and I remember they asked me that question, and like
you know, sometimes when you're doing an interview, they'll ask
you a question that you're not fully comfortable answering, but

(14:23):
you answered anyways. And I didn't even think they would
use it because they asked so many and then they
ended up running. It was me being like, I can't
see him as like my future husband. But it wasn't
like I said that about Chris Souls. Guys. It was
more like, yeah, like I was put on the spot
and I was asked so like you know, when the
article looks like I was just like talking about him,
saying like, oh, I want to marry him, but really
I was like being asked that, and I was like

(14:44):
a little uncomfortable. But I mean, obviously when we moved
in together, I kind of told him like, this is
a big deal for me because I have kids and
I never wanted to move someone in with the kids
if I didn't see that lasting. So I mean I did,
but I don't know. I just I handled this break
up a lot differently than I have in the past,
so to give a little bit of perspective. Let's can

(15:06):
we I want to do this in a timeline, right,
so let's start with the Bachelor, and let's move through
these relationships. And because I think what we're gonna find
and knowing you a little bit that I do this
timeline is going to make more sense to the listener
at the end that you're going to continue have grown.
I believe you know the famous quote is that we're
products of our mistakes or failers, but we don't have
to be prisoners of it. And I think that's exactly

(15:29):
true for you, right, You've continued to even know, in
the public's eyes, we've seen a couple of relationships a
breakup and then you know, we're like, oh no, it's
happened again. And then then we maybe see the next relationship,
because that's what you're gonna promote, but we don't see
the in between and the lessons learned and and the
things that you've built upon them. So, you know, the

(15:51):
Bachelor left and as we just said, like what would
you have taken away? What did you learn from that?
And and you just mentioned you know, it built the
strength and like your character, and you start to speak
out about your family and you got maybe a little
more confidence, and then you went to Paradise and and
Ashley is obviously I always love to hear Actuley's perspective
on Paradise because she's been there and she found her

(16:12):
love there and Ben hasn't experienced it. Yeah, and so
it's it's fascinating. It's fascinating to me because I haven't
been there, and I don't know what that looks like.
But you met Josh, yes, and that was I think
I was with Lauren at the time. I was still
with Lauren when you met Josh. And remember the phone
call that she got from you saying, Hey, I'm with

(16:33):
somebody And we said who when you said Josh, and
I said, oh, but outside of the public, what drew
you to him? I mean, okay, he has some good quality. Also,
he is, like I wanted to let Manda say this,
but like from a girl's perspective when you first get

(16:54):
to know Josh, like in your first encounters, he's extremely
charming and he's like a magnet. Yes, he's a magnet
for a woman. Yeah, he's a gaston as I always
call him. So he's he's very charming. Um, he's like
he just like you said, Like when I came off
of The Bachelor, I was like finally being able to
put myself out there more. I was like becoming a

(17:15):
little more confident. And I still hadn't had a relationship
in a long time because you know, I guess you know,
Ben doesn't really count. Um. So I think it was
also like you said, he's just so charming. Um. But
also just he was like so into me from like
day one, and I think that just felt so good
to have somebody just be like so infatuated with me.

(17:37):
And he was cute, he told me all the right things. Um,
he really, I mean he has a lot of good qualities,
you know. So there were things that attract me to him.
And I'm gonna grill a little bit and you pull back.
You feel like, okay, this is was there enough for you?
Why say yes to a proposal? I mean, looking back now,

(18:00):
I think it's ridiculous in general to get engaged after
three weeks of knowing somebody. Um. And I think in
the beginning of a relationship, everyone's nice and especially and
we're in a we're in an environment where it's not
really real life. We're not working. There's really no stress.
We're just sitting on a beach all day. I didn't
meet his friends, I didn't meet his family. Um, but
I just think, you know, it was like that infatuation.

(18:21):
I think that was the reason why I was like, Yes,
Like everything that he was saying, I was like, oh, well,
that's exactly what I want. Like he wanted kids, he
loved kids. You couldn't wait to meet my kids. Like
everything that he said was just so exactly what I
was looking for. That I was like, oh my god,
this is perfect in paradise. You can talk like that too,
and you never show how you actually are. So what

(18:42):
was she I don't don't understand. Um, Like you can
just like talk about what you like and how you
deal with regular life and your morals and your values,
but you're not You're not actually like in like an
environment in which like they shine or are exposed. Yes, yeah, exactly,
So I don't know. I mean you can you can

(19:02):
attest to it, like he kind of like he could
be cool. Oh yeah, I was. I'm gonna be I
was totally pro the two of them. I like the
way they were together. They were like so in love
and infatuated and like the lust was heavy and I
couldn't even there was not announce of me that really
wanted to be like Amanda, you shouldn't umandation. There's a
reason that they never showed me talking to you, um

(19:26):
about my worries about him or and I t m
is worried about you with him because I just thought
I liked you guys together a lot, and he had
only shown me kindness. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, yeah,
and I haven't been there. It makes sense when you
watch Paradise. It's worked for a few but yeah, you're
showing your best side, so every once in a while

(19:46):
getting really lucky and you're actually I think when somebody
is generally authentic from the beginning and you assume that
about the person, then it could work afterwards. But when
that changes, things go bad. It It's interesting though, because
now you're really close with Andy Dorfman. Is that have
you bonded over Josh or is that? Is that odd? Okay?

(20:10):
So it's funny because the first time we hung out
was it was a while ago out in New York,
probably like almost two years ago, and the first time
we hung out we talked about him a little bit.
But it's funny because now we hang out and everybody
will like, we posted a photo together at stage coach
and people will be like, oh my god, I bet you,
like they talk about Josh and we actually don't anymore.
It's like maybe the first time that we hung out,

(20:31):
we did, but now like we we don't talk about
him at all anymore. Yeah, exactly, so like we don't
really talk about him at all, but yeah, at first
we did, you know. I want to I want to
pause here for a second because I don't want this
to feel like we're going to continue to pull back
your pass through the whole podcast. I don't want us
to be a bachelor. This isn't what the in depth is.

(20:52):
It's not pulling back bachelor stories for the whole thing.
But we need to get through this to get to
the end, which is where we're going to talk about
you and where you're at today and the lesson has learned.
But I think these stories will will help our listeners
understand you more and so they're listening. Um, Amanda is
a lot more than this, and we have a lot
to talk about at the end when it comes to

(21:12):
some of the cool stuff that she's doing. Um. But
for now, let's let's continue to dive into the let's
in paradise. Um. So, so your relationship with Josh ended.
Is there anything else that you feel like hasn't been
communicated when your relationship with Josh that you want the
public to know now? Um, I mean, that was the

(21:35):
hardest breakup I've ever been through, like even to this day,
because like I mean, I think you guys probably get
it to like you've had that one relationship where like
you were like so in love and like that spark
was there, and I feel like that's the hardest thing
to get over sometimes because I really thought for a
while that like, oh my god, like this is too
good to be true, like he's perfect. Um. And So

(21:56):
it was really hard for me because just as we
as he of Din and just you know, as time
went on, I could just tell that things weren't going
to end up working. But it was still really hard
for me to break up with him because I cared
about him. Um. So, after we broke up, we actually
went back and forth for a little while, like we're
still talking, and I mean things never really changed. I

(22:17):
feel like it just got kind of got worse. After
that because it was like a gray area. UM. But yeah,
it's still to this day, like the hardest breakup I've
ever gone through. So going off off that, UM, I
think that when it comes to breakups, when there is
like that initial like crazy feeling, the frenzy, I think
it's usually the daydreams dying, the daydreams that you had

(22:39):
about your life with that person dying, that is the
hardest thing to move on from. And then them it's
like the daydreams that you had about your future. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
like all the plans that you had. And and it's
funny too, like I think I I recently was broken
up with, but in the past, I've always been the

(22:59):
one to break up with somebody else. And I just
think it's so much harder because I started doubting myself, like, well,
should I have tried harder? Did I really need to
do that? Um? And I think that was kind of
the hardest part, was just like wondering if I made
the right decision or not. Um. But yeah, I know
I've been talking a lot about Jared and my upcoming wedding,

(23:20):
But the thing that you may not know that is
my ultimate way of relaxing. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with
work and wedding planning, which is basically a second job,
I take a long, hot bath or shower, and then
when I get out, I put my feet on the
coziest bath mat ever that I got from our Crate
and Barrel Registry, and I wrapped myself in a Turkish robe.

(23:45):
They are the fluffiest thing. And then I plopped on
the couch, and I've got my lotions that I got
from Crate and Barrel in all these nice little containers.
It makes it look like a little bed and breakfast
in our place. And you probably wouldn't even think to
go to Crate and Barrel for candles and lotions and

(24:05):
all that, but they have all your bathroom needs. They
basically can turn your everyday bathroom into just the cutest
little luxurious spot in your home. We signed up for
a bunch of these bathroom supplies through our Crate and
Barrel Registry. They're timeless pieces. They're well made. You're never

(24:27):
gonna like look at them in a couple of years
and be like, oh, you know what, that's out of style,
or that doesn't look so good anymore. It's always gonna
look crisp, clean and high quality. So if you're engaged
out there are looking to start a registry, I highly
suggest going and starting one with Crate and Barrel. Just
go to Crate and Barrel dot com slash Wedding Dash registry. Again,

(24:50):
you're engaged out there, be like Jared and me and
sign up for a Crate and Barrel registry. It's got
everything you're gonna need for your home together as a couple.
You're adult home, your own little paradise. Um, it's Crate
and Barrel dot com slash Wedding Dash Registry. You're you

(25:12):
poured yourself into this relation, Josh, and there was a
lot of um I think write ups on just what
happened at the end and the kind of the ugliness
of it, and we don't dig into that as much
of how did you know and how did you communicate?
It was over? I think we've gotten a lot of
emails in the past about breakups and about that back
and forth. Can be friends with xs and how does

(25:35):
that operate? But with Josh, it did linger and you've
been open up to share that. How did you know
when it was done? Um? So, to be completely honest,
So we broke up back in I can't remember when
it was, and we were just going back and forth
just but it was like private, and I think like
we didn't weren't very public about it. I think we

(25:56):
got caught one time like out at dinner or something,
but like I hadn't even told my family that I
was hanging out him. Um. But I think it just
wasn't going anywhere, like after months and months, and we
were like we were fighting more when we were trying
to work on things then we were when we were together,
just because it was in that like gray area where
there's like you don't really know the boundaries, um. And
I just think it got to a point where we

(26:16):
were both just kind of like exhausted. So, yeah, did
your break up with Josh spur on the idea of
writing a book? Is Josh like the main reason that
you wrote this book? And is he the result of
now to Bachelorrette books? I was I was telling my
mom actually was talking about it was like he's like
the reverse Taylor Swift books about him because it was

(26:41):
not fun, not because it was whimsical. Um yeah, but honestly,
like I had always wanted to write a book and
a lot of the reason I wanted to write a
book was more about like being a single mom and
all that kind of stuff, But he definitely that relationship
motivated me a little bit more. And what's the called.
It's called now Accepting Roses and it cost September. Yeah,

(27:04):
so it's weird because I've been writing it for so long,
like it was a really long process. But I'm really
excited for it to come out, and I was able
to be a part of the process and later on
I can't I can't wait to talk to you about it,
um and read it. You know you've obviously I think
you're writing a book. Makes sense because then following Josh,

(27:24):
you started dating Robbie Hayes dating dating. Yeah. When you
say kind of, what do you mean by kind of?
I mean, Okay, anyone who watched Bachelor in Paradise could
tell that I wasn't like that into Josh status. Yeah,
and I think he just became my friend throughout it,
like everybody was coupled up, everyone had their people, and

(27:44):
like he was like my person, Like he was the
person I hung out with the most. And it wasn't
really that I really liked him. It was more just
like he was my friend, Like he was my best
friend there. So after I broke up with them on
the show, when I got home, like he was the
one that I wanted to call and talk to you
about every thing, and he hated me. So I was like, well,
it's me definitely's hang out And we ended up hanging
out a few times after the show. Hated you, he

(28:06):
did hated me, no, no, after after I broke up
with him on the show, And then I felt terrible
because I was like, you broke up with him on
the show, but you still intended to hang out when
you got back to l A. You just couldn't like
continue the show as like a committed couple. Yeah, but
I think he was under the impression we were going
to leave the show together as a couple. So I
think he was kind of surprised, and he hated me
after after that for like for like a couple of days,

(28:27):
not like a long period of time. You know, he
was just like upset. So there's this phenomenon with Bachelor
in Paradise where it is strongly encouraged for you to
get engaged or you know, leave alone, because this show
is about the show. The Bachelor of the Bachelorette, and
Paradise is more about finding like lifelong relationships, not just
somebody that you're going to like date for a while

(28:49):
and like maybe you'll see for a couple of months
or you're going to continue to like test out the waters.
So that's what you had with Robbie. It's what I
had once. And I think it's kind of confusing to
the audience because they're like, oh, why are they still talking.
It's like, well, because we probably figured that we weren't
going to get married, but we still wanted to see
each other a little bit. Yeah, just to bring up

(29:11):
a couple that makes like there's breakups last year on
the show that then they do they become friends and
they get back together, which happened to you and Robbie, Right, Yeah,
I mean you guys continue to talk. Where did like
where did that lead? Like walk us through how how
that relationship ended up moving forward and where did it?

(29:32):
Where did that end? So, I mean before before I
was going on Paradise, I already had this like idea
of Robbie where I was just never thought in a
million years that I would ever go for him. But
then throughout the show. I mean, he was really sweet
to me on the show, and like I said, we
became friends, like he was my best friend while filming
that season. Um, but I just knew it wasn't going

(29:54):
anywhere like I you saw me in Paradise season one,
Like it just wasn't it wasn't the same. I just
didn't really have like strong feelings for him. So that's
why we ended it. But then when we got home,
it was like I still wanted to talk, I still
wanted to hang out, and so we did a little bit. Um.
But after that, it was kind of like a different Robbie,
Like the Robbie that I heard about, or the Robbie
that I like, I thought that I would never go for.

(30:15):
It is kind of who he was when we got home. Um,
And it just it was like, you know, like I said,
I was the one that was saying like a you
could tell if you watch this story. I wasn't really
that into him. But at the end of the day,
it was kind of like a respect thing, like we
don't have to date, but like at least be respectful. Um.
And I'm sure you guys know about everything that happened
after that, the whole concert that you memories back to me.

(30:40):
I can't remember specifically the concert concert yeah, yeah, so
it was just like a respect thing, you know. Yeah,
and so then like those things came out and also emails. Yeah,
I mean he just really yeah. Um, I don't know
why he was so angry at me. Um, but yeah,

(31:03):
I was actually not going to bring up the whole
concert thing at the what show is it After Paradise
or some kind of talk show like that, and the
Twins brought it up, which I mean, I think it
was fine. Um, but I know he was really upset
about that being brought up. But I don't know. I
always say, like, I feel like this happened not just
in my situation, but other situations where something gets brought
up on the show and guys get so upset, but

(31:25):
they're the ones that did it, you know what I mean.
So it's like, I'm sorry that it got brought up.
Do you feel like Robbie had stronger feelings for you
than you had for him, or do you think this
was all a response for maybe not ending up a
bachelor couple. I think I think he definitely. I mean,
this is my this is just how I feel. I

(31:45):
don't know how he felt, but I think he probably
had ulterior motives. I think he cared about being a
bachelor couple. I think he really wanted that. I think
he really cared about like the Instagram, fame and all
that kind of stuff. So how quickly it's fleeting. Yes,
when his last thing you heard about him, Um, I
don't know what he's doing. But you're right. I mean

(32:08):
but and I mean that, But I also want to
say that it's a good point for anybody out there,
is like, fame is fleeting. It is not something worthy
to chase after. Relevancy is not a pursuit worth having.
And so as a result, like if your pursuit is that,
you're going to spend years of your life chasing emptiness,
and where do you have the turn? You narrowly missed

(32:31):
him this year of state coach. I heard that. So yeah,
I mean, I don't hate like now I could care less,
you know what I mean. Like, that's surprising to me.
He said some really mean things publicly. I know, I
think I'm just too forgiving of a person just in general,
or are Yeah, I know what, I'm traid of conflict.
You just want to avoid conflict. I think I just

(32:52):
want to. I think it's a mix above. I like,
you know, they say like forgive but don't forget. I
feel like I forgive and forget too much. But yeah,
I mean no, I mean I would never be friends
with Robbie again, but I don't hate him. Like, if
I saw him, I would say hi. I wouldn't try
to linger around by any means, but you would say hi.
I would probably say, hey, how was it to see

(33:13):
him walk on the Paradise sand a year later? At
the end, I didn't even know that he went on.
That's how much I don't keep track he went on.
You would know did he go on? Oh I remember? Now?
Okay myself he did? Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, I

(33:35):
did not face me, so I don't totally forgot he
even did that. That's right, that's surprising. Um, we're getting close.
We have one more to talk about, right, Um, Let's
pause for a second to fill up our glasses of
wine and we'll get back in a second. Alright, we
filled up with wine glasses. I'm gonna start the second

(33:57):
part of the podcast with the store about me because
I like stories about me, but it also has to
do with Amanda So, Amanda, I have a story that
I think you'll be really surprised about. And it's one
that if I would have told you two years ago,
I wouldn't have been able to do it. Maybe a
year and a half a guy, I still would have
been able to do it. Today I can. So, you know,

(34:19):
Lauren and I broke up? Did you know that I
didn't know? Okay, well wait, now let's come up. Okay,
you tell a story, then I'll ask the question. So, um,
we broke up and I was in Chicago at the time.
With the breakup, I was on the road, and no
matter what, things weren't good. But I was on the
road working. We weren't like split and she called and

(34:41):
things happened, and so I went from Chicago to New
York City and I flew to New York City for
another business trip. So this was on a I went
to Hyra on Monday, New York on a Wednesday. I
was there Wednesday through Friday, and I landed with my boss,
who is one of my best friends, and he at
the time. I just when I land I told him, hey,
Lauren and I have split. And I was a mess.

(35:03):
I was, and and understandably so I think, like I
was just a mess, and he's like, all right, well
this is we're gonna do. We're gonna go do our
meeting and then I'm gonna take you out to the
best dinner. This is the story. No, I'm gonna take
you out to the best dinner and then um, we're
just gonna drink a bottle of wine and we're gonna

(35:24):
talk and you can do whatever you want. It was
like perfect, sounds great. He's like, but I we'annna do that.
We go to get close. It's like, let's go to
Zara and Laura and I just did an event in
Zara not long before that, and this is that. This
is God's on the street what happened. And he's like,
let's go to Zarah because it's on fifth FIfF or whatever,
and we're right here and our hotel was right there,

(35:44):
and so we did. And I walked in and I
don't know if you guys ever feel this way, or
anybody out there ever feels this way, but I started
to get sweaty and like anxious, and I started to
feel like and and the last thing you want to
do after a breakup is cr X. Right like at
the last thing you want to do. And I was like,
I feel like Laurence here and he's like, well, maybe
because you just did an event here and he knew that,

(36:06):
and I was like, yeah, it's probably it, but like
I have memories with her, like recently right here, like
I feel like she's here. And he's like, this is
this is weird. You're being crazy, like you really are
messed up, Like you gotta get calmed down. So I
was like, you're right. We bought our clothes and I'll
try to tell the story, so I don't want to
undervalue this story. It's a weird story. So we bought

(36:28):
the clothes that we wanted for the night. I went
back to the hotel, showered up, changed, and my buddies
that live in New York, my college roommates, called, They're like, hey,
what are you up to? And I told him we're
going to dinner with my buddy, but I have an
hour and a half. Um, I mean, jet a bar
and let's have some drinks. And I asked in fighted
my buddy with me, and they were at a bar

(36:48):
just like six fts over, and so we walked and
I started feeling that way again and I was like, man,
I'm jacked up, like I can't do this, Like I'm
more messed up than I even thought it was. I'm
like feeling that WARN's watching me, like I'm feeling that
she's close. I'm sweating like he he literally looked at
me like you're going crazy, like you're having panic attacks,
and like there's no good reason why. And I was like,
I know. And so we get to the street corner

(37:11):
where the bar is and we see the sign. I remember,
he and I both looked up and we saw the sign,
and he goes stop. We looked down, and you and
Lauren are standing on the street corner across from us
in New York City, not more than ten ft from us,
and I ran. I remember this story once he started
telling in what I ran, and I ran, I ran.

(37:34):
We didn't see you, obviously, I don't think you did.
I want to ask you if you did. I was
literally I was literally from you, like ten ft away
from you, guys, standing there looking at you and I'm
not kidding you. After on three different occasions that in
those hours, feeling like I and it could still be
just weird because of the fact that like it was
fresh and it was new and I just didn't The

(37:55):
last thing I want to do is run into her,
you know. But literally that came true, and you guys
are standing across the street from us. I don't know
if you remember that trips it had to be. It
was the week we broke up. Yeah, yeah, I remember. Yeah. Wait,
so yeah, we definitely didn't see it was a second
night or during the day. It was during the day.
Oh my god, so crazy. You met up with me

(38:16):
and Jared afterwards? Yeah, yeah, did you know we were
in New York? Had no clue. Oh my gosh. I
thought I thought she was in Denver because when she called,
she was in Denver at the house and she was
going to start packing up her stuff. And then later
that day she was in New York. And then no,
two days later she was in New York because I

(38:36):
was in Chicago and I flew to New York and
she she was there. And so I literally saw you
too standing across the street, which was my worst nightmare
and still to this day, well still to this day,
it shocks me. And it's just a weird thing to
think about. That's crazy. Yeah, Okay, Well that leads into
this question. So you guys are like super cool and
like he always talks you up on the podcast. He's

(38:57):
always like a man of really cool chick, really cool chick.
Right you are his ex is best friend from the show.
Ye you know, we all have our real life best friends,
but you guys are the closest from the show. So, like,
was there ever like some weird hurl where you guys
were like, Okay, well, because this weird community we live in,
we're going to have to be cordial and cool or
what you just you you were never affected like by

(39:18):
the he said she said thing? Wait with with Ben? Okay,
I get it. I get what you're saying. Um No,
I mean like I've always thought been was like the
sweetest guy. Like I literally tell everybody that whenever people
will always ask me, like it's been really as nice
as see us on the show. I'm like, now, you
guys like he really is the nicest guy. Um And,
I mean I think even Laura knew, like Ben is

(39:39):
such a nice guy. Like just because it didn't work
out between him doesn't mean that he's not a good person.
Um So I think I mean, I honestly, I feel
like it was a pretty cordial break up. I mean,
I'm sure it sucks for both of you, but it
never really put me in a spot where he had
to like hate Ben or chose sides like it was pretty.
It was a pretty like mature break up, right for

(40:00):
the most part. I think so, Yeah, I mean I think, yeah,
I think it's mature as you can make it. Right. Yeah,
I mean, it always sucks, it's always hard, But I
would say, and I think we've I don't know if
we've ever talked about on the podcast or not. And
if so, everybody out there listening, I apologize, you're gonna
hear it again. Um. There is an element, and I
don't know if it exists in the Bachelor world because
there hasn't been a lot of breakups outside of like

(40:23):
Caitlin and Sean um with couples that have made it
from the show. I did feel not from you, from others,
isolated and like like the army was out against me,
and I couldn't understand why. Right. I remember when she
started dating Devon and there was comments that were like,
I've never seen you happier. I am so excited for you.

(40:47):
This heart makes my heart happy, which are nice comments
taken at a surface level, but I remember them and
I I this was the hardest part for me about
the breakup, because the breakup definitely should have happened, but
it was I felt like, all of a sudden, people
that I thought were friends of mine as well, I
knew they weren't. They weren't. I knew they weren't as
close to me as they were with Lauren. I felt

(41:08):
like I was an outsider. Yeah, and that really sucked. Yeah,
that's hard. Do you do you Let's let's try to
break that down though. Do you know why? Like why
does that have to happen in relationships in general? We
just talked about it with you and I. We've also
talked about it before some of your breakups, Like why
does that a byproduct? I think I think like whenever

(41:31):
someone or whenever anyone goes through a breakup, I think
people feel like it has to be like somebody's fault
or like this person was in the wrong, where like
sometimes like nobody's in the wrong, Like it just is
what it is. But I just think that everybody, whether
it's just people on Instagram or friends of the person
that you're with, like people always just think they have
to blame somebody um or like someone has to be

(41:53):
the bad guy, and I think that's kind of where
it comes from. And I also think breakups are hard
and whether or not some moves on faster than the
other person. I mean, I'm sure it was hard for
both of you, um, but yeah, I don't. I never
left a mean comment today today think I think people
from the show definitely did know that. And it does
it confuses you because you're or what your my assumption

(42:18):
goes to. And I think it caused a lot of resentment.
And I think this is a good lesson to Lauren
for anybody out there. What it did was it made
my mind go to, Lauren is talking negative about me,
or there is some like something uncommunicated that's been harboring
in her heart that she's angry at and she's telling
her friends, which is a result her friends are standing
up for her and with her. And I was going

(42:40):
my question was what did I do wrong? Where do
we miss the mark? And what am I missing? Because
you don't have answers right, I'm not going to call
Lauren six months later when she has a boyfriend and
go wait, ye, why why are your friends saying you're
so happy now that you're not going to get those answers.
But it's how I feel like it's not just an

(43:01):
isolated case, right, that's not unfamiliar to people out there.
They've gone through breakups and social media comes out against them.
But why you have insight now on the both sides.
You know that happened, you know those feelings were felt
by me, and then say multip people outside of that,
they have gone through breakups. Why is that the byproduct?
Why why are friends standing up saying I'm so happy
for you. They know that hurts that other person and

(43:23):
they know the X is going to see it. Yeah,
I mean I feel like there's I mean, like you said,
I just really think there's there's not really an explanation
for or a reason for it. I think it's kind
of just like almost it's sad to say that there
shouldn't be resentment there, especially if there was really no
reason why you guys broke up. No one did anything wrong.
But I just think naturally we just resort to like

(43:44):
feeling bitter in some kind of way about something because
nothing's ever going to go fully your way in a breakup,
Like the other person can be like super respectful to you,
but you're just not going to agree with like every
single thing that that person is doing. And I just
feel like it's really easy to get better about things,
if that makes sense. Yeah, that's a good point. We
resort to like bitterness and yeah, and we lose like

(44:07):
rationale sometimes and logic. Breakups are really hard. They're so hard.
And that leads us into this last one for you,
um with Bobby. Yeah, it's it's the one. I mean,
Ashley and I are both like we were shocked. I actually,
you know how I found out about this At Indiana University.

(44:27):
I was doing a thing for a guy that you
used in a restaurant in my hometown that I really
liked to open up on the Blue me Town. I
was down there visiting it for dinner. Somebody came up
and goes, how sad are you about Amanda and Bobby.
I was like, I don't know about it because I
think it cut us all off guard. Yeah, I mean
I was pretty caught off guard, to be honest. How
is Bobby take how do you take being sort of

(44:51):
an Instagram celebrity without ever having kind of like a voice,
Because like all of us referred to like oh, Manda
and Bobby Bobby, But like I've never met Bobby, and
I just had like an image of what Bobby must
be like. Did he like that attention? Yeah, I think
he did. He did, and I think, I mean, I'll

(45:11):
go I'll start from the beginning with that is just
like Okay, So when I met Bobby, we we just
met online. We started talking. We were talking for a
few months before we ever met in person. Um. And
in the past, I've always dated guys, not always, but
since since my divorce, I've dated guys that were in
the spotlight from the show, like guys that loved attention. Um.

(45:33):
I mean Josh was like very outgoing, friendly, center of
attention kind of guy, like lots of energy um Kins
and Charles Dad's like that also, like very energetic, outgoing.
You always said that they were simpler. Yeah, Like I've
always dated guys that love being the center of attention,
and I've always kind of been like the one that
wasn't quite as much like the quieter one. And when

(45:53):
I met Bobby, he was super quiet, he shy. Um.
He was just so different, Like he doesn't drink, he
doesn't go out, like he's just very different than any
other guy I dated. And I think at the time,
I thought like, oh, this is good for me, Like
this is what I need. I need someone that's like
more mellow and as a homebody and you know, is

(46:13):
quiet and all that. So I think I thought it
was really good for me and something that I needed,
like as a mom um. So that's kind of like
what attracted me to him in the first place. But
our relationship wasn't as easy in the beginning as some
of other relationships that I've had, Like you saw like
the spark I had with Josh, Like it wasn't really
like that with Bobby. It was more like, to be honest,

(46:35):
it was almost more like a friendship throughout our relationship.
And I think I was cool with that sometimes because
I felt like we're best friends, like we stay home
all the time with the kids, like it's great. But
I do feel like I wasn't fully being myself throughout
our entire relationship, Like I feel like I wasn't allowed
to really be myself. And I don't think I realized

(46:57):
that our entire relationship until after we broke up. You
know how that happen. And sometimes you kind of have
your blinders on and I told you, guys, with Josh
or in the past, when I've broken up with people,
I always thought like, did I try hard enough? So
I really tried this time, and I think I was
forcing it too much because I think in the past
I felt like I didn't try hard enough, and this
time I think I tried too hard to where like

(47:19):
I just think we weren't right for each other because
you felt like it was the right thing. You were
trying hard because the image of him being clean cut
and tall, dark and handsome and then not a drinker
and loving the kids was like what in your mind
it was ideal got on paper, And I think I
was forcing it. But like I said, I don't really

(47:40):
think our entire relationship. I was like fully myself, like
even my sister said, and this, this is not a
job at him in any way. I mean, it's a
job at me. Like my sister said, she's After we
broke up with my sister and I went to New
York this weekend. It was gonna sound so mean, but
I swear it's not meant to be mean. But I
was with my sister. We're in New York, and we
were like having so much fun. We went to dinner,
we went to catch like, we were drinking. We're just

(48:01):
having a fun Girl's Nate. And my sister was like,
I'm not trying to be mean, but she's like, you're
just so much more fun than when you're with Bobby.
And I was like, really, She's like, no offense, but
like I would have rather hung out with like a rock.
When you're with Bobby, you were so boring. So she
told me, yeah, and that's not anything on him, it's
just on me, Like, I just don't think I was myself. Okay. Yeah,
I want to get back to Bobby. Okay, but I

(48:22):
want to stop here, okay, because I think this is
our first pivot point in your story. Yeah, I'm going
to say something that you're probably gonna not love, okay,
and you're going to have to respond. Alright, Fine, I'm
used to that. I think you've consistently adapted to who
the man is in your life to make it work. Yeah,
it's true, and you've done it now in the public

(48:43):
a couple of times, and with Bobby than once. What
have you learned from that? If anything? And you don't
have to have learned anything, but if your sister is
willing to tell you, Amanda, you were boring and now
you're not. Yeah, I think it's pretty clear what she's saying. Uh, um, okay,
So I mean in the past, Yeah, I mean I

(49:04):
think I've I've tried really hard to make relationships work,
but I don't actually feel like I've ever really changed
who I was. I think it was just more like,
like I told you guys, I thought that this was
good for me, like this is what I need. So
I think it was more like in my head, it
wasn't really that I changed, like as a person or
I didn't change my beliefs in my opinions or how

(49:26):
I feel about things. And Bobby and I, yeah, like
Bobby and I had very different beliefs on like a
lot of things. It was more just like, yeah, like
a lifestyle change, like I was just boring. But that's suppressing,
like your personality something that, yeah, that should be shining.
You have a great you are, You're you know, let's

(49:49):
let's love on Amanda for a second. Terrific mom, bubbly, uh,
super personal and kind, very easy to talk, easy to
talk to you. I think when you take those things away,
you become a shell of yourself, which ultimately becomes you
probably a less likable or at least a less authentic
version of yourself, which is unfair to any relationship. And
if that's who you've been, how do we stop that? Exactly?

(50:12):
I mean? And that's my thing now, Like you know,
you learned something from every relationship that you're in, and
this time around, I think it just kind of taught me.
Like I might have thought something was good for me.
I thought I needed something that maybe I didn't, but
like I never really I think I just need someone
obviously like anyone does that you can fully be yourself
around and it just likes you for you and doesn't

(50:34):
judge you if you are different than them in certain ways. Um,
And yeah, I mean I do think in my last
relationship I definitely conformed. But it was also one of
those things like I really cared about him and like
he was just different and I it wasn't in a
in any way that was like harmful or like toxic.
It was just like he was just different than me
and probably different than the person that I'm going to

(50:56):
end up with, you know what I mean. So yeah,
So with the Josh, you went back and forth a
little bit where you're like, are broken up and went
broken up with Bobby? Was it just a clean break?
Pretty much left, He took all of his stuff and
after a few days of um not talking, I was like,
either you need to break up with me or you
need to come back right now. But I'm done having

(51:17):
this period of like us not talking. I don't even
know what you're doing. He wouldn't even answer my phone calls.
It was like strictly like a couple of text messages
here and there. And so he was like, fine, I
want to break up. So I was like, okay, but
I'm just letting you know if we break up, I'm
not breaking up any back together because I feel like
in the past that's what's made my break up so
much harder. It's like continuing in that gray area, like
I just don't do well with that um And so

(51:40):
he's like, okay, I want to break up. Well, then
a couple of days later I was like, well, you
kind of gave me an ultimatum. I didn't really want
to break up, but I also don't want to jump
back into it. So I think we should like take
things slow and start dating, like you know, you can't
backtrack exactly. And I was like, we just moved into

(52:01):
this house together. And he I lived an Irvine before,
and I actually really liked it. Like he's he plays
beach volleyball, so he's like I have to be by
the beach. Like he had like two cities you wanted
to live in. It was either like Newport or Laguna.
Like he was, you know, like a little picky when
it came to like the house hunting process. So it's
like I got this house. I wouldn't have moved into
that house if it weren't for him. Yeah, So it

(52:23):
was kind of frustrating. But I was like, I just
got this house literally like for us, like kind of
for you. So how am I supposed to backtrack and
be like okay, like let's go from taking this huge
step in our relationship to like just dating again. I
was like, no, so yeah, that's it. I don't think

(52:45):
you can can't. Yeah, I was like, that doesn't even
make sense, Like, and I also, I don't. I don't
do breaks in relationships. I don't know. I mean, I
think some people could probably do it in a healthy way,
but I don't know. I just don't, Like I said,
I don't do well with that, like gray area. It's
either like I don't know. I've heard of this method

(53:07):
multiple times now and it is so wacky to me.
It's like, now you can't say I love you be
dating seriously to like, and we just took a huge step.
So I'm like, how do we and why do I
just keep this house for me? You're not going to
live here, You're going to get your own apartment, Like
it was just odd. I was like, no, I guess
it matters what your definition of dating though is, because
I do think there's something sweet and I'm just like

(53:30):
processing this as you say this in my head about
a couple that a couple of gets a divorce, they split,
and they go, we want to start dating again? Different
I think like dating again, And so my mind is like,
you just have to get that restart to say we
need to intentionally start dating again, like having fun again,
enjoying it to regain like a spark or something. But

(53:52):
you can't. You can't be in a dating relationship break
up and now say yeah, but like, let's just pull back, right,
Let's not look for exclusiveivity. Let's pull back of our
emotions and feelings and let's just like start hanging out exactly.
And I think it makes sense because he's we're just
like very different, like you know, we have like we're
just very different people. So I think that's something that

(54:13):
he would be able to do. Tell us more. You
the public, I mean, it's not naive and you've read
it like she's had all these field relationships. This is
how we know Amanda, this is who she is. Of
course this is going to happen. Is stuff that you
have to hear of all the time. What is your
response then, I mean, I think over the past four years,

(54:36):
I think with being on the show and just having
this last relationship, being a mom, having some of the
opportunities that I've had, I think I've grown a lot
and I think I've I really like believe in myself
and who I am, and I know myself pretty well now,
so it doesn't really bother me. But I think there's
just times where it's like I know how hard I

(54:57):
tried in a relationship, or how good I was or
all the m you know, things that I did to
make a relationship work, and other people didn't see that.
So I think sometimes that's frustrating. But I think That's
something that you just have to deal with when you
know you're in the position that we're in where people
are never going to know every detail and people are
going to judge you, and you kind of just have
to accept it for what it is and talk. You
can't sit there and defend and say every detail of

(55:20):
your life and you know it's not worth it. I
talked about that with Caitlin. We were talking about how
when you break up with somebody in the public eye,
or even even not break up, just like little actions
that you make, and you kind of part of you
wants to go and tell the entire story to everyone,

(55:41):
and then the other part of you know, is like
how petty that would look and how you want to
be above it, and you're like, where do I find
this fine line of getting my story out there and
its entirety but also not looking like this person that
is just so obsessed with appearances and what other people
think of it. It's that that's where it's like, it's
just not worth it, you know. At the Caitlin and Ica,

(56:01):
at the end of the day, is it's not worth
It isn't worth it. So that's why we choose not
to and to continue to have that lingering frustration inside frustrating.
There is a really good time to share that, and
that's on the in depth almost Famous Podactyl. Because you're
not you did you did not ask we asked you
to do this. Yeah, and it gives you, hopefully time
to talk it out. I mean, like like therapy, it's

(56:23):
really nice than you. We just want to get to
know you because your story ultimately really matters to the
people listening, and it really matters to us because I
think what actually and I have seen is that this
world gets confusing, it gets hard in situations like this exists,
and it looks ugly and it may look like a
soap proper as times, but ultimately we all need a

(56:47):
place to be us and we need a place to
share our stories because stories do matter. And so like
we said at the beginning, once you get to know
somebody more, it's hard to hate them. Yeah. But yeah,
like I was saying, how like I said, I was
super blind taded at the time, and he broke up
with me. But then afterwards I kind of, you know,
realized that there were things like leading up to that,
and then I think also like someone's in your relationship,

(57:09):
you have your blinders on, and after you start seeing things.
And there was like a couple of things that happened
during our breakup and like how it was handled that
I think made me realize a lot of things. Like, um,
one of those things was like, obviously I said he
broke up with me, and I was already going through
a lot at the time, which I'm sure we're talking
about leader, but like I had the whole like hacker

(57:30):
situation at my doctor's office, and I was just going
through a lot, and instead of asking me how I
want to handle it or letting me confirmed to everybody
that we broke up, he just kind of went ahead
and handled it himself. And then also like set his
Instagram to private when people were speculating to gain more followers,
because I guess I don't understand. Yeah, it's uh, yeah,

(57:51):
how do you gain more followers? But in private? Because
if you're public, people can like lurk on your page
and they can go speculate and not follow you. But
if you go private, then they have to actually follow you.
So it's like a tactic. And I don't know, I
guess it just bothered me, Like you're using our breakup
as a tactic to like gain followers. I don't know,
it just kind of like just kind of rub me
the wrong way, and it was just something I was like, yeah, yeah,

(58:13):
And I was just like it just kind of not
like made me insecure in any way. But I was like,
I guess that's something you need to look out for.
Is like like he's never had a serious girlfriend before. Yeah,
Like he's never like you know, had a very serious,
committed relationship. And I always kind of wondered, like, well,
like why with me? Like of course, like there's the option,
like you just really love me, but like how at

(58:33):
that age, like do not have you not had like
other serious relationships? And I think just like moving forward,
you just have to be kind of careful, like oh,
with someone's intentions, like do they want Instagram fame or
like we said with Robbie, like do you just want
to be a bachelor couple? Like there's always ulterior motives
of people sometimes And I'm not saying that that's that's
what Bobby had, Like I don't know that, but it's

(58:55):
just like that made me feel that way a little bit.
You know. I was thinking about this and it's an
interesting I think correlation. I was trying to figure out
how to date in the real world. Everybody was always asked,
are you I was nervous about what people's intentions are
is what I always got, right, and I was I
was like, I don't think so, because I think you

(59:16):
could read through them. And then I was I say
about this a couple of months ago. You know, I'm
the only bachelor as long as I remember, that's dating
somebody outside the franchise. What about Nick? I mean, he's
not dating anybody. So he's not in a committed relationship
with anybody. Yea, yeah, And so it is a kind

(59:38):
of a new frontier, right, I mean every other bachelor
has somebody within the franchise or is not dating at all.
And so Amanda, I get what you're saying, and like,
it is a frontier that we don't know how to
navigate now. I you know, I'm with Jessica, and I
know her intentions are very pure, and it was very
clear from the beginning what her intention works. I worked,
I reached out to her, yeah, and she had no

(01:00:01):
you know, no idea that was coming. But it is interesting,
how do you think you do handle filtering through people's intentions.
I mean, I just think that you just you can.
I feel like most people have like a gut feeling,
and you can kind of tell, like you said, like
you can tell if someone really likes you for you,
if they have ulterior motives with everything. But I think

(01:00:23):
sometimes it's hard to tell. I think sometimes it can
be a mix of both. You know, I think sometimes
somebody can like you for you but also be a
little intrigued by whatever else it is. Um But yeah,
it's hard because some people are really good at hiding things.
So a lot of Bacheldoornation who's like really invested in
relationships after the show will say that they see a

(01:00:46):
lot of Robbie and Bobby. How do you think about that?
I mean, I actually hated that when we were dating.
I don't know, I didn't like that, but I guess
I see what they're saying and so a certain way,
like they do have like a similar look, although like
I don't think they look too similar, but I see
they have like the same kind of coloring and eyes,

(01:01:08):
and I can see why people think that. Very different
people though, So how do you explain to your daughters
when you're going through a breakup, whether it be with
Bobby or Josh. Yeah. Um, so it was a lot
different when I broke up with Josh than this time
around when I broke with Bobby, because it was it

(01:01:28):
was like about two and a half years difference. But
I feel like that makes a pretty big difference when
that understand. Yeah, so like now they understand, and I
don't know, I have a pretty good and honest relationship
with them, and I don't really have a problem kind
of telling him how it is. And they knew Bobby
was my boyfriend just moved in together, and I kind
of just told them like, oh, well, like me and

(01:01:50):
Bobby broke up, and it was just pretty honest with
them about it because I don't know, I don't I know,
there's like a lot of people out there that think that,
and a lot of times it's the people that don't
kids that feel this way. But they're like they just
think that you need to raise your kids to just
think everything's like happy all the time and put on
this front to your kids like this world is like perfect,

(01:02:10):
and I don't know, I just don't really agree with that.
I'm pretty honest with them, like they know when I'm
going through something like life has its ups and downs.
Like people are together, they can break up. Like obviously
there are things that I don't show them, and there's
things that I'm super adamant about, like I'll never argue
with somebody in front of them, you know, stuff like that.
But for the most part, I can be pretty honest

(01:02:31):
about what's going on with them. I think that's kind
of how you handle it. I feel like that it's
the I'm not a parent, so I feel even yeah,
I have I feel weird even yeah, saying it has
to be because you don't get a naive or uh
an abstract view of life where it's everything is perfect
and it's false because then once you get into the

(01:02:52):
real world and you go to college or whatever, everything
like people start you've experienced heartbreak for the first time,
or people start arguing in front of you for the
first time, or and then all of a sudden, there's
I think, I forget what the realization is. But there's
a moment in every person's life where you realize your
your parents aren't perfect. Yeah, and it's like it's one
of those like major life changing moments. If that could

(01:03:13):
happen at an early age, I would imagine that it's
a healthier foundation to build upon. I don't know, or
like I think if you, you know, raise your kids
thinking like everything is perfect all the time, and then
they grow up to start having their own problems and
they're like, wait, like this isn't normal, This isn't supposed
to be this way. Things are supposed to be perfect,
And I think it's just like and I always am
like like, so for this breakup, for example, they don't

(01:03:35):
see me like broken or like not being motivated, like
I'm still feel exactly like I'm fine. So I think
it's good for them to see that, like, hey, like
this didn't work out, like we're two different people, but
like I'm still okay and I'm still happy and like
life goes on and I don't know, I don't that's
just personally how I choose to handle situations. But when

(01:03:58):
you talk about parenting in general, I feel like it's
so tricky because everybody parents in a different way, and
everybody has such different beliefs, and if people don't agree
with the way you parents, they'll like shame you or
say that your kids are going to be messed up
someday because of how you're raising them. It's just like
such a crazy thing. So that's why I don't really
talk too much about how I handle situations with my
kids or talk about it, because that's what I believe in.

(01:04:20):
But not everybody believes in handling things that way, and
a lot of judgment comes from that sometimes. So are
the girls sad after these breakups? Are they like? Are
we ever going to see them again? I think you
made a comment on Instagram that, like the girls, we're
going to see Bobby? But like does that change with time? No? No,
So I I just think it's better. I mean, I
was dating him for a year. He didn't even meet

(01:04:41):
the kids for a few months into our relationship, so
I just didn't see the need for him to still
be coming around. I felt like that would just confuse
them even more. Um So, I just didn't think it
was necessary. But um so, Charlie, Charlie was pretty close
with him. She's like younger, she really gets along with everyone.
She really dim But Kinsley, like I said, she was

(01:05:03):
different with Bobby than she was with Josh. Like with Josh,
she was like like I loved him, was fine, Like
I could like kiss Josh in front of her. She
didn't care with Bobby. She was very like I couldn't
even hold his hand, like, she was very clean. I
don't know. She was very different this relationship, and I
don't know whether it's the guy's vibe. Yeah, I have
no idea, and so, I mean every kid's different, every

(01:05:25):
relationships different, But I don't know. Kinds was kind of
just like okay, like that's fine. Like they've asked about
him a couple of times, mostly when there's bugs in
the house, because they're like, who's going to kill this bug? Yeah,
not not me, I mean Charlie usually kills him. No, yea,
all right. My last question about your girls in relationships
is you you get so much flak and it drives

(01:05:50):
me bananas when you're away on a trip, because people
are like, who's taking care of your kids? Like do
you ever spend time with your kids? Or even every
time you go to Paradise or do the Bachelor, it's
like three weeks, three four weeks people, you know, right,
and yes that it's a very long amount of time.
But the girls are always with a family member, be
their dad or their grandma. Yes, okay, so I don't

(01:06:12):
have a nanny. I actually don't even have a babysitter
at all, like a consistent babysitter. No, not even a
once in a while babysitter. I literally do not have
one at all. So the only people that watch my
kids are either me, their dad, or my mom. And
my parents just moved back. My parents were living in St.
Louis for a while, so I didn't have them back then,

(01:06:33):
so it's kind of a newer thing for me, and
it's nice to have their help. So every Tuesday and
my mom will pick the girls up from school and
take them to dance, and then I'll pick them up
later from dance. So it gives me Tuesday to get
work done and stuff like that. Um. But besides that,
I mean kids goes to school. I drive him to school,
pick them up every day. Um. If I go on
a trip, it's usually during their dad's weekend. Actually of

(01:06:54):
the time it's during their dad's weekend. Um, because I
don't know, it's kind of a lot for my parents
to watch both kids, especially overnight, so it's not something
that I do often. UM. So anytime, like when I
was at Stagecoach there with their dad that weekend, um,
I was just in New York with my sister. It
was their dad's weekend. So people will judge me for it,

(01:07:14):
but I'm like, whether I was home or whether I'm
in New York with my sister, I'm not going to
be with my kids either way. So it is what
it is. And it's not like, obviously I wish I
could be with my kids all the time, but it's
just it's our life and that's just always how it's been.
Ever since the girls were born, I've split custody with
their dad. So it's just how how it is. How

(01:07:38):
how's your relationship with their dad. It's had its ups
and downs, like throughout the years. So when we first
split up, obviously it was not very good and um,
but like over the years, we've had our ups and downs,
but it's good right now. It's good. It's been good
for a while. I feel like we are also very
different people, I think, so I never post anything about

(01:08:00):
their dad, But the other day I've been getting a
lot of crap lately because they've been traveling and people
are like, we're you're your kids, and like you guys,
they have a dad. It's funny. Someone actually commented there,
like the dad passed away. I'm like, no, he's I'm like,
I'm like, he's very much alive. He's here. Um, So
I posted something the other day of like me dropping
Charlie off at his house, and all these people were like, oh,
like that's their dad, blah bla, because they've I don't

(01:08:22):
think I've ever posted anything of him. But um, we
would never get back together or anything like that. But
we have a fine relationship. We're not close, but we're
like said breakups aren't easy. It's cordial. Yeah, No, we're cordial.
I mean we we even like talk sometimes about like
random things that he can tell me about a girl
he's dating or I can tell him about. It's it's
not weird. We don't get there's not that like ex

(01:08:45):
like jealousy thing between. It's like the only time wherever
on bad terms is like sometimes things will come up
with the kids, but I feel like that happens even
when you're married, Like you have arguments over like the kids,
you know. So it's nothing. We have a we have
a pretty good relationship. How old were you when you
got married? It was twenty one two. I was twenty

(01:09:07):
one when I got pregnant, but I just turned twenty
two when I had her, so it was really young. Yeah.
And my last question is you mentioned earlier that when
before char came along that it was just you and kids,
and you were like and you kind of had her
full time? Then did you did you have her full time?
It was so it was once Charlie was born that
it was what custody. Yeah, so I had them full

(01:09:29):
time until Charlie was like six months old. Yeah, and
then we started putting it up. Yeah, you know, it's
it is interesting, and I think again it's nice to
be able to talk about it because the public does
watch your social media and they say you're gone all
the time, and where are the kids, And it's nice
to be able to say, I hope, like, well there,

(01:09:52):
no matter what, I'm not going to be with them.
Like if I'm back in, I'm gonna you're gonna sit
alone at home where I'm gonna to go go out
and live a life and do my thing. And I
had joy traveling. I enjoy doing things, so it's like
it's nice for me to have that time that like
I'm not going to have with them anyways, you know
what I mean. Who takes care of them primarily when
you are doing paradise, is it a split between your

(01:10:12):
mom and dad? So when I was in Paradise, my
mom watched him fully and let me unless it was
like next time to have him, then he would take him.
But it was like the same schedule that we have
when I'm home, but my mom was taking care of him. Yeah. UM, Amanda,
we have a little bit more to talk about, UM,
A lot less to talk about with your relationships. UM,

(01:10:33):
but you have one more relationships. Yeah, but we do
want to want to close this session out, UM with
the cheers to you. Thanks, cheers, Amanda, thanks for coming in. UM.
We have two more seconds left. We're going to dive
into who Amanda is, who is she becoming, and what
has she learned. But first we had to fill up
our wine glasses, so we're gonna take a break again.

(01:10:57):
So let's get serious for a minute. Okay, UM, I
know that you have zero desired to name names and
it's not important here, but you have mentioned publicly that
you've been in abusive relationships. UM. Anytime we talked about
these topics on the podcast, we have a lot of listeners, UM,
predominantly female listeners. U. I said female once in the

(01:11:18):
podcast I got, I didn't realize females no longer a
word to use. It's it's the women I got. I
don't know women. It has to be women now, which
is great. I'll say women. I'm getting better at it.
I'm working on it. Uh. We have a lot of
women listeners, and um, they always respond in a very
vulnerable way when stuff like this has talked about. Since

(01:11:38):
you have publicly started stated this before, I want to
ask you a few questions following this. One is why
do you think you're attracted to those types of guys?
I think, to be honest, I think I hate to
say it like this, I do think like it's just
kind of my personality. I also think those kind of
guys are attracted to me, and I think it's because
I'm very nice and very forgiving. Um, I kind of

(01:12:01):
see the good in people. So I kind of think
I'm an easy, easier target for somebody like that like
to be manipulated by. But the crazy thing is about
like when you're with someone that you would consider abusive,
as a lot of times they don't think they're abusive,
and so I think that's the hard part is it
makes you feel like, well, was it really in an
abusive relationship? Or am I just being dramatic by saying

(01:12:23):
that because I think they don't believe that they're being abusive,
And I think there's so many different forms of emotional
physical abuse that like, if you feel like you're in
an abusive relationship, you probably are. You don't really need
you know, proof for that. So yeah, I want to know.

(01:12:44):
I want to understand a little bit here when we oftentimes,
as we said on multiple occasions, we see the negative
and relationships when it's over and you look back on it,
Is that the same thing when it comes to abusive
relationships or as somebody that is the victim, are you
knowing at the time and it's just hard to get
out or are you looking back and saying I was

(01:13:06):
a victim of abuse? I think you can see it
when you're in it, like you know, but then I
think that, I mean, it's different for everybody, but I
think when you're in an abusive relationship and you see
those things when you're in it, a lot of times
they have a way of making you feel like you're
crazy or that it's you, or that it's not that way,
or you're being dramatic. So I feel like you do

(01:13:26):
see those things, but it really takes until after to
look back and be like and really see things more clearly.
That makes sense. What are some of the lessons than
for anybody out there? Because I'm telling you a man,
it we get some emails that are hurt. I feel
like it's so common, like whether it's why why is
it so common? Because I just like I said before,
I think there's really no way to define an abusive relationship.

(01:13:48):
Like there's so many different ways that a relationship can
be abusive, like especially emotionally, um, if somebody is like
manipulative or controlling, or there's just so many different ways
that it can really affect somebody's mental health and that's
considered abusive. But like I said before, I think a
lot of people that are abusive don't actually think that
they are even though they are. So I think that's

(01:14:10):
why there's so many people that are in relationships like that. Um.
But what the question was, how do you like What
would be my advice to somebody? UM, I would just say,
like trust your gut and don't doubt yourself, Like if
you feel like that's the case too, trust yourself and
just get out of it. Um. So I think that's

(01:14:30):
the hardest part about getting out of a relationship like
that is a lot of times you're being manipulated and
you start doubting yourself or you think you're the crazy one,
or you're the problem. And that's why you stay in
it longer than you should, because you start to believe
that you're the problem. So I think you just got
to trust your gut. It's it's I mean, I always
found it. I was shocked, and you know, I've heard

(01:14:51):
your stories and I've seen your relationships, and I've been
a fan of you, and I've dated you and got
to know you a little bit. And then the headlines
came out in Vegas and all of these things started
swirling around and it and it felt like in my
eyes at least as somebody that probably knows you, and
I feel like I'm a little bit taint because I
know you a little bit more than maybe the public.
I felt like a paradigm shift where you now became

(01:15:15):
the person that people are like, WHOA, She's claimed this,
but now it's switched. Two questions are because I want
you just kind of the freedom to explain it. I
don't want to. One is how did you handle that?
How did that make you feel? And what what did
what do you do? Now? Yeah, so obviously that whole

(01:15:36):
situation was like just a complete nightmare. Um. There, you know,
there's like a truth to the situation that I can't
really explain or I can't really talk about. Um. But
for the most part, I mean, I think anyone that
knows me knows that that is not who I am.

(01:15:57):
That's not also the kind of really and the Bobby
and I had, I mean we broke up now and
our relationship wasn't perfect, but that was never something that
was an issue. Um. And yeah, I mean everybody was
just like everyone that knows me was like, that doesn't
really make any sense, and even you know, it didn't.
And I think it's easy to look at a situation

(01:16:18):
like that and see it in the media and assume
things or jump to conclusions or think. I think a
big thing is people see somebody or think they know
someone and they see something like that and they're like, oh,
this is who you really are, and that's not the case.
And I think everyone that knows me knows that that's
not the case at all. Um, I really have nothing
to hide. I've always been pretty open and honest with
everything going on with me. Um, So I guess it

(01:16:41):
was just frustrating having a situation like that that was
very misconstrued, be so public and then having people like
jump to these conclusions about me that weren't necessarily true.
So we were talking about how there are certain stories
out there that the full story isn't out there, and
you need to choose between whether or not you want

(01:17:01):
to reveal it or just let it go wet, and
it was It's so hard because I had moments where
I'm like, should I just put it out there? But
you there's just times where you can't win because either
you can put your story out there and people are
going to be like you're making an excuse or you're lying,
or I I think something else really happened, or you're

(01:17:25):
like throwing somebody else under the bus, and it just
wasn't worth it. So my approach to it was just
to kind of like let it be and move on
from it. And it was really hard. That was probably
the hardest thing not to talk about, just because it
was like affecting my life so much. Um. But yeah,
it's exactly one of those situations like when you break
up with someone, you're like, I want everyone to know
the truth. It was like the same thing. I'm like,

(01:17:46):
I wish everyone could just know. But there's just certain
things and I think I'm pretty open and honest about
a lot of things with like my followers, Like I said,
I have nothing to hide, But that was just one
of those things where I just kind of had to
like do what was best, and I think, you know,
what was best was just kind of leaving it. I don't.

(01:18:06):
I don't know how to communicate this really well, so
just deal with me, and if you don't get it,
we'll just ask me a couple of questions. But it
feels like in life, you can do a lot of
really great things and we're all going to make a
lot of really bad mistakes. That's just life. We're gonna
fail and we're gonna succeed, and we're gonna fail and

(01:18:28):
we're gonna succeed. We're gonna keep failing and hopefully we
succeed or do things good more than we do bad.
But it feels like I don't I mean, I didn't
live two years ago, so I can't compare. But it
feels like right now, people are waiting to jump in
celebration on people who fail or fall, and I think

(01:18:50):
that's a dangerous perspective for one reason. And then I
have a question that follows us up and this is
my my point, Because we're all going to fail and
we're all going to fall, and if that is just life,
then how often are we going to be celebrating other
people's dark times, the times that they're in the valley

(01:19:10):
and instead and you know, as as a believer and
in Jesus, you know, and instead of lifting people up
when they're down and meeting people when they're where they're at,
it feels like we're trying to push everybody to a
balanced level, which is ultimately where we're at our weakest.
I want to know then, for you, if that's what

(01:19:32):
it felt like, how do you handle being in that
season of life where it feels like the masses are
jumping on top of you and celebration or just support
of something that's hard? Yeah, I mean, I think this
just it's one of those situations that I think when

(01:19:55):
you follow someone on social media, you watch them on
reality TV, you're just seeing a certain part of their life.
For I mean, everybody's life on Instagram looks perfect, and
I think that's why people are so quick to jump
on somebody when they fail, because it's like, oh, like
I caught them at a moment where like it wasn't
perfect or I think that's kind of what it's like.
You know, everyone's life looks amazing on Instagram. Everyone's showing

(01:20:17):
their highlight reel, and so I think that's why people
are just so quick to, like you said, celebrate when
somebody is down. Um. And that's definitely what it felt like.
And it was frustrating, it was hard. It was honestly
probably one of the hardest things that I've dealt with ever. Um.
But like I said, I mean, I like, I know
who I am. Everyone close to me knows who I am. UM,

(01:20:38):
And I got through it and I learned a lot
from that whole experience. Um. But I think learning how
to handle that situation was like one of the hardest
things that I've ever dealt with because you just can't win,
you know, and you at the end of the day,
you have to just worry about yourself and take care
of yourself. And we all care what other people think,
you know, we try not to but we do, especially

(01:21:00):
when you're being attacked and on social media and news
articles or whatever it is. Um. But I think I
really just tried to focus on myself and you know
how I was feeling and the people close to me
were feeling. So it was also hard for my family, UM,
and I tried not to focus on everyone else so much,
and I think that really helped. How long did it

(01:21:20):
take you to feel like life was normal again? And
how much stronger do you think you are for going
through that media appearance crisis? Yeah. I mean, like I said,
there's a lot of things that I can't say, but
it's not like that's a kind of a situation that
I'll ever go through again. Like it was one time thing.
It was crazy, Um, I would say life was very

(01:21:43):
different for seen in September. I would say probably till
like around the New year. I mean, things were pretty
different for like a few months. It was hard, um,
But after that, yeah, Like, I mean, I think it
definitely made me stronger. It made me kind of like
I don't know, it's so weird, but every time I
go through something hard, it just like makes you in

(01:22:03):
a way more confident because you've realized, like oh, I
can get through this, like their situations where you think
would like crush you and you're like, oh, I'm still fine.
So it kind of gave me like this confidence and
I learned a lot about myself and um, yeah, I
mean I feel I feel good about it now. But
obviously it was not an ideal situation. So yeah, you've

(01:22:24):
had Speaking of ideal situations, you've had a couple of
things come up. Um, and one is this the hacker
situation that you've made very public and um, for those
who have no clue what this is, can you take
a second before we ask a follow up questions on it?
What exactly is going on here? So back last yeah,
this the like the last year. Someone actually told me.

(01:22:47):
I never believed in like mercury is in retrograde until
this past year. I was like, wow, this is a
real thing. Um. So I was pretty open about it.
But I got like a breast augmentation back in February
and I went in from my surgery all of that.
It's been a while since then, and randomly one night

(01:23:09):
it was beginning or middle of March, I think, and
I was sleeping and I don't know why, it was
like you're weird feeling in New York, Like, I just
had this feeling of anxiety, Like woke up in the
middle of the night and I was like sweating, and
I was like, I just had anxiety for some reason.
So I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just grabbed
my phone. I opened up my email, and I have
emails from this person and the name was the name

(01:23:29):
of my doctor, but it wasn't his email address, and
it was basically an email saying that this guy had
hacked into my doctor's database. He stole these photos of me,
and he was trying to get money. He's like, if
I don't get this money, I'm going to send it,
and then I send your photos, and he attached all
the photos to the email of me from the doctor's office. Yeah,
because I know that there's like a scam going right

(01:23:50):
now where people will say, oh, I have these photos,
but they don't actually have them, so and I thought
at first, I was like, this is a scamp, but
then he actually had all the photos attached down there,
and so I thought it was like just like a
bad dream or like a nightmare. And um the next
day ended up calling my doctor. All these people they
had a bunch of people, the police, FBI where they're

(01:24:14):
So I guess he hacked into my doctor's database. So
we got photos of a lot of his patients. But
I think he just saw me on his website and
saw that I had somewhat of a following, so he
decided to target me because I thought it would be
more effective doctors. UM. So yeah, Basically he was like,
you have three days to either like get me the
money or I'm going to start sending your photos out.

(01:24:37):
So and then there was also no proof like say
we give this guy the money, Like, how do we
know he's even going to delete the photos. We'll probably
just keep asking for more. So it was just pointless.
And started setting the photos to everybody that I followed.
UM sent him to people that I have worked with,
sent him to like my friend's boyfriends. He was sending
oh yeah, yeah, he sent him out to like a

(01:24:57):
ton of people. So at first he's like, I'm going
to start the or stay by sending him to five people.
Then the next day, IM gonna sent him to ten.
Next I'm gonna sent him to twenties. So after two weeks,
all these people started getting it, and the more people
he was sending him to, the more people I had
texting me every day like hey I just got this
weird message from someone. I just want to let you know,
or people were calling me. So eventually it just got

(01:25:17):
so exhausting telling the story that I was like, I'm
just going to address it publicly. That way, this guy
hopefully sees that like he doesn't have this power over
me and stops and actually kind of actually worked. So job. Yeah,
I was glad I addressed it, but it was hard,
and the pictures haven't ever leaked, no, because luckily everyone
that he sent them to are people that I follow,
and I mean everyone's been respect called out. The bully.

(01:25:43):
He didn't make his move. He never like posted them online.
I don't even know like where he would post them,
you know what I mean. They're medical photos, Like it
wasn't like, yeah, they're not trust me, They're very far
from sexy. I'm like, this isn't It's not like I
did anything wrong. So that's why I was over all
the threats every single day because I was like, I
can't come out, like what's the like if it's embarrassing

(01:26:05):
for me or it sucks or it's violating, but it
was like, I didn't do anything wrong. So yeah, you
got some flack for doing that. Inst the story in
which you revealed the hacker with the dog filter on, Yeah,
why do you think much? I was like shocked. I
was like you, guys, honestly, I was crying. I was
not expecting to cry that much. And it's funny because

(01:26:26):
I actually started filming it without it, but I I
wasn't cover my face right now because I want to know.
I'm saying something very excited made me feel, made me
feel better, and yeah, I just think it made me
look cuter when I was ugly crying. So that's when
I went with the job filter. For you've been through this,
and man, this is a scary situation, and I hope

(01:26:50):
I mean really scary. But for anybody that happens to
go through this, what would be your advice? What have
you learned on the right steps to take if somebody
were to do this to somebody listening? Um, I mean
I was so stressed for like a solid month over it,
and I think the one thing that I learned from
it is you can't stress every single day and have

(01:27:12):
anxiety about stuff that you can't control and unfortunately there
are bad people out there, and UM, it's not an
ideal situation, but I just think you need to not
let somebody ever have that power over you. I think
being blackmailed every single day was the hard part. So
I'm really glad that I did what I did and
I kind of took the power over it saying like

(01:27:33):
this is what's going on. Um, I think that really helped.
So I guess that would be my advice is just
not to let someone have that power over you, no
matter what the situation is. Never let someone hold something
over your head because that's stressful and it's out of
your control. So I think that really helped. So the
whole like month that I was dealing with the hacker situation,

(01:27:54):
I was really just freaked out because I had like
the FBI at my house, the police, like I lived
with the kids. I didn't know what other information this
person had. The he had my address, my phone number,
you know, he had your address like that, and it
was it was before we moved, so I was like,
I don't think he has my new one. But it's
still just freaked me out because I don't know, Like
I'm like, did this person hack into my phone, like
can you read my text? Like I didn't know what

(01:28:15):
this person could do, you know. Um, So I was
just really paranoid. And one night, my sister was sleeping
over and she was using my cellphone charger and I
was sleeping upstairs and my phone was dying, and I
because of the situation going on with all the hacker
and everything, I was like, I don't really want to
sleep with my phone dead in case of an emergency,
so like, I'm just going to run down to my

(01:28:35):
car really quick and charge my phone. So I go
down to my car and it wouldn't charge my phone.
Let's turn my car on. So I opened my garage
and I had this guy that was like sitting in
a prius outside my house, and I don't know why.
It freaked me out. I'm like, why is this guy?
He was literally parked in my driveway, so I'm like,
why is this person parked in my driveway? So I'm
like staring at him. I turned my car on and
he's just like staring at me. It was super ready

(01:28:57):
just parked there. So then I pretended like I was
going to back out the guy out of his car,
So I'm like just being I was just super paranoid.
It just is kind of funny. So this guy gets
out of his car. He goes to grab something from
the trunk, and like, oh my god, is this guy
grabbing like a gun? Like what's happening is he's going
to break in her house. He grabs a banana out
of his trunk and he starts eating a banana in
his front seat. So I'm like, why is this guy

(01:29:19):
eating a banana in front of my garage? So then
he starts to pull away, and so I don't know
what was wrong with me. I was just going through
a lot guys. I decided to I decided to like
chase this guy around my neighborhood at night, and so
I was following him because he was like, just parked
in front of my house. He wouldn't leave. Long story short,

(01:29:41):
I was freaked out. He pulls back in front of
my house again because I did a circle, he didn't
see me. So I was following him. He's back in
front of my house. So I parked the car, run inside.
I go, wake up Bobby. I'm like, there is somebody
stalking our house. As I'm telling him, someone knocks on
our door. Our front door, and I was so freaked out.
I called nine one one and the police came and

(01:30:03):
everything and anyways, nothing happened. I feel really bad. I
didn't know my neighbors, like down the street we're having
a party. And he was like, I'm pretty sure that
was just like a lift driver who was like waiting
for someone, like he got hungry and like at a
banana but like it's so embarrassing. But I was just
like so freaked out. Okay, I was like Bobby was

(01:30:24):
scared too. It wasn't just me, like it sounds like
a crazy person, but everybody someone knocked on our door,
and then when we went down there, there was nobody there.
How did Bobby deal with the whole hacker situation? Like
emotionally with you? Emotionally honestly not very supportive. And I
think that was really hard for me too, because I
was really he he was just very black and white

(01:30:44):
about it, like he was like, you need to follow
a lawsuit against your doctor, and I get it, but
also like it I don't need the money that by
my doctor is so sweet, And he was really stressed
about the situation too, like he felt terrible. Um, we
just had different views about it, and at the end
of the day, like I didn't care about a lawsuit,
Like I just wanted like a little sympathy, I guess,

(01:31:05):
and like emotional support, and um, it just wasn't really there.
So yeah, I'm glad the situation seems to have subsided.
We're gonna take a break here and when we come back,
I'm gonna have my favorite time of the In Depth
Podcast with Amanda, where Amanda and I sit down and

(01:31:26):
talk about the cool things she's doing, what's coming up
in her life. And then Ashley is going to have
her favorite time on the In Depth Podcast with Amanda,
and she's gonna rapid fire some questions and we're gonna,
you know, Amanda before we head out of here in
a really fun way. So stay tuned, listen up. We'll
be back in just a second. So, Amanda, you've we've

(01:31:48):
now walked through your timeline over the last a few years. Um,
and it's a it's a lot has happened in the
last few years. It's right now. Recently, you're launching a
few products and jacks that I think you're super excited about.
And we were missed without allowing you the space and
the time and work site about him to share. Let's

(01:32:09):
start with the book tell us a little bit more.
We've mentioned it earlier in the podcast. I contributed to
it and actually did as well, Wow, look at us
represent um yeah, tell tell whatever you want our listeners
to know about your book. Just shut out there. So

(01:32:29):
it's like a little all over the place. They have
a lot of people ask me what it's about, and
it's kind of an autobiography. It's a little bit about me.
It's also just kind of like a self help book
of like all the things that I've learned from certain experiences.
It's kind of cute, like in every chapter there's like
the roses and the thorn, so like the pros and
the cons of like each situation and um yes, um

(01:32:50):
so I think I think people will really enjoy it.
It's kind of like a fun read. There's like everyone
keeps asking me like, oh, is it juicy? Is their tea?
And I'm like, there is, But that's kind of wasn't
the purpose of it? And I probably should say that
there is. I feel like people will be more to
read it, but and there is, for sure, But I
just think I anything that I said, it was like
only if it was useful, Like, oh I learned from this,

(01:33:11):
Like there's really not anything in there that's just like
irrelevant just to like bash upbody. Yeah, so but I
mean it is, it's good. It's it was fun to write,
and I've been writing it for like the last two
and a half years and it's finally coming out. What
was that? What ages of people would benefit? Gosh, I
think anyone from like high school too, you know, any

(01:33:35):
age I guess, um, it's like pretty universal. At first,
I was like, you know, I really want to write
something for single moms, but it's definitely not just for moms.
It's for anyone. So yeah, it's really good. I'm excited
for you. It comes out September beginning of September, and
it's a it's called now Exhibiting Roses, and it's really cute.

(01:33:57):
There's like a little chapter so been An actually keep
saying that they're in it, and there's like a little
chapter that I had stories like funny for State, stories
from other people that were on the on the show,
and it's pretty funny chapter. So that's why I like it.
I think it's like a really easy read, like you
can hang out at the beach and read it like
it's fun. Um. So yeah, I think people really like it.
So it's not just a tell all but you have
like cute two stories and yes, it's like fun. Yeah,

(01:34:20):
don't make you laugh. Are you doing a whole book tour? Yeah,
a few places, not like a full one, but going
to a few places to look for Amanda Stanton author
Amanda Stanton showing up in your local neighborhood signing books,
talking life and talking to roses and thorns on top
of the book and talk on top of being a mom.
You've started a new clothing line. Yeah, I'm fairly unfamiliar

(01:34:43):
with this. I don't shop there. I'm pretty familiar because
everything is so cute. You truly designed pieces that you
wear from like Revolve and stuff, but you made them
your own and they're they're so signature to you and
I love them and they're so cute and you're doing
so well with them, Like every piece soil sells out

(01:35:04):
right away. Yeah. So it's actually my favorite project that
I've ever worked on before. It's like something I've always
wanted to do. So it's been really fun um and
I love the kids are like a huge part of it,
which is so nice because they're super picky with their clothes.
So every time we're like designing a new collection, they'll
help me and they'll tell me what they like, what
colors they like. Kids is my little fit model, she's

(01:35:25):
my model on my website. Um So they kind of
feel like it's their thing too. So it's been really
fun and we love like dressing up and fashion, and
it's been my favorite project so far. So what's the
motivation behind it? Why? So, like, ever since the girls
were little, I just love dressing them up, and obviously
I love dressing myself up. Um So it just kind

(01:35:46):
of came from that, Like I just wanted to design
a line of things that like I loved and that
made me feel confident and wanted other people to get
to wear them. It's also pretty affordable, I think, compared
to like a lot of other brands, So I wanted
to kind of create something that was cute and made
people feel good and was also affordable, especially for like
the mommy and Me stuffs, and made some stuff in
kids sizes too. So yeah, yeah, I like the way

(01:36:09):
that you guys can be matchy. Yeah, because I feel
like sometimes like matchy clothes with your kids, like the
kids versions cute, but like the mom versions like kind
of dorky. So I just wanted to make something that
was like cute and matchy and I like that. How
did you come up with the name of the label? Uh,
there's really like no reason behind it. It's Hawaiian. It's
Lonnie the label, so it's Hawaian l A and I

(01:36:32):
the label. So it's Hawaiian for heaven. Hawai is your
favorite place. But there's really no meaning, like super meaningful
girls first. Yeah, and I just thought it flowed nicely.
So label, Yeah, Lonnie the label check it out? Where
can they? Where can all the listeners find it? Um,
so you can find it on just Lonnie the Label

(01:36:53):
dot com and then our Instagram is Lonnie the Label, Amanda,
This is my time with you, Okay, this is where
we get to dig in for a little bit. Um.
Ashley pretty much she chimes in every once in a while,
but she pretty much takes a back seat. This is
definitely his cup of tea and the next thing is
definitely mine. Um, we've learned a lot about you. I

(01:37:14):
know you're tired our listeners. I'm assuming you have listened
to this for last four days straight. Um, at this point,
they've been they've been listening in the car driving to work, pausing,
getting in car from work, starting again, so excited to
listen to what it is. No, we're so pumped. And
this is how these have been and this is why
we love these. I mean, honestly, I mean, I don't

(01:37:34):
know what you think of these in depths, but you know,
our almost famous podcast has done really well over the
last two years and it continues to grow, and it's
it's it's an awesome we love it. It's a breakdown
of the podcast. It's super light. It adds no stress
to our lives. But again, as we mentioned, like these
in depths really allow us to get into our friends better,
the other contestants better. Allows us to sit down and
just hang out and talk uh in a way that's

(01:37:56):
not threatening or we're not trying to get anything out
of anybody. Uh and our listen. I mean, these these
podcasts are beginning a ton of lestens because I think
it's enjoyable. So you're talking a lot. I think it's
fun for everybody, and we appreciate it. Um, this woman
asking you to talk a Ton though, so Amana, we've
we've got to hear your whole story, and we started
this podcast off. I mean, if you think about that,

(01:38:17):
when we just started talking in a couple of hours ago,
we were talking about these random relationships and the breakups
and in our time together on the show. But there
wasn't Amanda way before this show, um that existed that
had been through heartbreak and obviously came on the show
and in a place of pain for a second. I
just want to now kind of sum this all up,

(01:38:38):
like who were you coming into the show. I mean,
I think I'm still the same person as it was
back then. I think back then, I just, um, I
was young. I think I kind of like had this
idea of like what my life should be or what
I should be doing. And I think I've kind of
learned to balance everything and focus a little more on myself.

(01:39:00):
And I think I've had a lot of experiences over
the last couple of years that have really helped me
find myself. So I think now I'm just a little
more confident and um just kind of have a better
idea of how to balance everything. You mentioned a couple
of times that you're a kind person, you're super forgiving,
But what is it about you that you're scared of?

(01:39:23):
Like where your weaknesses lie? And where were these things
coming into the show? And then also now that sit
there that that you're fearful of, because I think it's people.
One of the things we can all relate on is
we have failures and we have fears and and even
if you are a super kind person, there's something in
there that still exists. So like, what are my weaknesses? Um, gosh,

(01:39:47):
I mean I have a few. Um, I mean this
sounds like super cliche, but I do think I like
tend to see the good in people instead of the bad.
And I kind of think that's where my relationships have
gone wrong. Is the focus too much on the good
until it's over and then I kind of take my
blinders off. But I think just in general, like I'm

(01:40:07):
a perfectionist, so I think I'm too hard on myself
a lot of the time. Um yeah, yeah, that ISID
a good enough in isaid a good answer? It's good
enough if you think it's good enough. I don't know.
I mean I have I have quite a few more,
but I think that's good. The The thing of this,
this whole process is life is is this whole thing

(01:40:31):
has helped us become something. And I think I want
to ask you, is who are you becoming? Like who
is Amanda Stanton? And who are you becoming in the future?
And now what are your dreams for yourself? Um? I
think I just kind of I'm just me, and I
think I've learned to kind of accept me. I mean,

(01:40:53):
I just have learned to kind of do what makes
me happy and do life the way that I want
to do it and of stopped thinking I need to
be doing things a certain way or be listening to
other people or what they think. I think I've kind
of learned to just kind of do my own thing
and be confident in that. And so if anything, that's
kind of what I hope to inspire other people to do,

(01:41:14):
especially like when their moms. I think there's so many
stereotypes and things that people think that you need to
be doing, and I just think that everyone should just
really do what makes them happy because life short and
I think it's important to be happy and just believe
in yourself and know that you're a good person and
not really care what everyone else thinks. And I think
one thing that I've learned throughout all of this is like,

(01:41:36):
of course everybody knows they get a lot of haters
and judgment, but I never really change what I'm doing.
It kind of continue to do the same thing. Um.
So yeah, I think I just I'm just happy and
I want everyone to be happy. Has there been a
moment in this whole thing that I mean and it
feels weird? I don't want to say this whole thing
because it feels weird to sum up the last six

(01:41:56):
years as your life and you've had a life way before.
Is there been a moment in life where you felt
like you're getting off that track of that whatever you
wanted to become and however you were becoming that it
felt like you've derailed and there's no place to turn.
I don't really think I've ever felt like there's no
place to turn, but I've definitely had ups and downs.
I mean we just talked about one, like the whole

(01:42:17):
Vega situation was like a huge thing for me. Um,
obviously when I've gone through breakups, that was a big
thing for me. Just things like life doesn't always go
as planned or how you expect it. And I think
there's been multiple times throughout the past five years where
I've totally thought my life was going in one direction
and then it doesn't. Um. But I've never really felt
like super unmotivated, like oh, like life's over. But there's

(01:42:40):
definitely been times where I've had to like change things
around a little. So what is that motivation that? I mean,
how do you continue to move forward? Um? I mean
I obviously, like sounds cliche, but I have my kids,
so I always have to like be happy and be
the best version of myself for them. But I think also, um,

(01:43:01):
I've just kind of learned to be a little bit
more adaptable. Like I'm happy if I find somebody and
I get married in two years and have another baby.
And I'm also fine if I'm single for the rest
of my life. Like at the end of the day,
like i think, I'm just good no matter what. And
I've just kind of accepted that. So let's just close
here with a couple. I want to have a couple

(01:43:21):
of questions about your kids. Who are who are they becoming?
Like what are your dreams for them? Um? So I
mean I'm biased. I just think they're like the best, cutest,
smartest little humans in the entire world. Um, And I
tell them all the time, like, you guys can do
whatever you want. Um, you guys can be anything that
you want to be. Kids is like such an entertainer.

(01:43:42):
I can see her doing something like in the entertainment industry.
But at the end of the day, I mean, she
can do whatever she wants. Um. And Charlie is just
so sweet. I mean, both of them are so different,
but they both are just so special in their own ways. UM.
So I'm really proud of them. Charlie starting kindergarten this year.
So it's I always say the best part about being
a mom's like seeing your kids grow up to be

(01:44:02):
like their own people and kind of develop their own
personalities and interests and all of that stuff. So, um, yeah,
they're really Cute's awesome. Yeah, Amanda, great job. Thank you
for coming on the podcast today. I'm gonna pass this
over to Ashtuff close out uh in a really fun no. Um, Amanda,

(01:44:23):
you uh you definitely. We we love to sum up
these podcasts, uh with those questions and a little bit
of notes. But you really are becoming, uh somebody that
I think is confident. We see that and also from
from our perspective and we get to see a little
bit more than most is you are a great mom.
And uh, there's some things in life that I would

(01:44:45):
say that we need to listen to the people that
are critiquing us, but those are typically the people that
are in the arena with us or our family members
and friends. People from now soide don't know. But you
as a mom is something that I think not only
adorable because I think your friendship with them is incredib
will have a good friendship with my parents, but just
the way that you your parents as well. So um, yeah,

(01:45:06):
thanks for being with us today, Ashley. Take it away,
all right, So here's your speed round. We'll try to
keep it as like you know, as phrases, got it.
But the first one I have is in a phrase,
how frustrating is it when people say you don't have
a job or go get a job? Yeah, it's really frustrating.
I mean, it can't get more annoying, right, yeah, because

(01:45:28):
you can't explain it every single time. You can't explain
what you do, probably because there's just like a whole
bunch of different things and they would never understand how
time consuming it is. It's frustrating, it's annoying. It's just
really a sound. It's like, actually, that feels like more
of like a personal question to Amanda for yourself, because
I though I absolutely know that you can relate. I

(01:45:50):
can feel the anger building up on this side of
the table. But do you not feel the same? Yeah?
But do you even do do it? Like you don't
have a job. Even I'll hear people that even know
us and they'll be like, well, you know, they don't
have a job, you know, referring to one of our
friends in the circle, and it's like, uh no you do. Okay,

(01:46:15):
moving on? What's your Starbucks order? Okay, so a song?
I get a cold found cappuccino with almond milk, one
pump of vanilla in an added chat of espresso, A
complicated one. Yeah, and like that person I know favorite musician? Ah,
oh my gosh, I don't have one. Come on, who
do you listen to the most? Like? Who do you

(01:46:36):
go to most? On your iPod? iPod iPhone? I've been
very into Celindon lately. Fantastic answer, timeless, classic, Um, what
would be your last meal? A big bull of pasta? Okay, Scaretty,
like describe it to me, just like a big bull

(01:46:59):
of baghetti. No, I mean like what kind of noodle
and what sauce? Spaghetti, red sauce, Maybe a pizza too?
Can I can? I have multiple things in the mail,
so okay, okay. In food I asked this question, I
chose salad. Remember that Colton also chose salad when I
asked him this question, Like pizza, pasta, sushi, Chick fil a? Okay,

(01:47:20):
sounds great? Okay. Who's your celebrity crush? Um? I feel
you have them. I feel like I've heard you Bradley
Cooper good one? Yeah, Bradley Cooper clean? Or are we
talking like you know stars Warren Bradley Jackson Me, yeah,
it's the best time. He's so hot. Who's the Bachelor
Nation crush that you have that you never dated? Ah?

(01:47:45):
I can't say, come on, just who's hot? Okay? I
think next? Really cute? Okay? Yeah? Great, well you kind
of almost you went on a date? Yeah? Something that
you can watch over and over again. Well, there's a
TV show or movie? Friends? Okay, how often do you
have a beauty related appointment? You and I are the
same here, and this is why I can ask you

(01:48:06):
like every other day between nails, brows, hair, yeah, like
laser hair, moable lashes, facials, botox, like probably twice a week, Okay,
twice a week. I'd say that I'd be like, at
the minimum once a week, and I like to fill
them all within a week that I have nothing to do.

(01:48:27):
Get a facial, get my lashes done, get my nails done,
all in one day, just like a whole day of
like beauty appointments. You can get like laser like before
the weekend so that you know people don't see you
all poppy. YEA best vacation you've ever been on? My
favorite place is why? I kind of all the places
you've been to, ye, best gift you've ever received? Um,

(01:48:50):
things that can chart makes me at school? Is there
one picture that you're definitely just going to say for
a lifetime. Yeah, So Charlie made me like a little
Christmas one and it has your picture on it and
like her smile is the cutest thing here. So that's
probably my favorite. My mom still has that Christmas ornament
that we made with my face in the middle, the
outside the snowflake. It's still on the tree years later.
She just looked so proud in it favorite Bachelor moment

(01:49:13):
that didn't make air um or b I p oh
in Bachelor in Paradises. I mean it's not a favorite moment,
but it was like kind of a funny one. I
got attacked by mosquitoes. I don't know if you remember that.
My arm like that, My god, nobody's ever seen an
arm like Amanda's arm. Yeah. I was so glad they
didn't hear it. But yeah. Oh and I also got

(01:49:33):
seasick on Josh and I's first date. Okay, yeah, so
there was like lots of moments because neither of those
your favorite moments, but like I'm memorable, memorable. Were also
concerned about your arm? It, guys, it was blown off.
It was as if she was allergic to I was allergic. Yeah,
I was not. Okay. The first thing you would save

(01:49:54):
in your house if it was on fire, my kids. Okay,
find possession a material object my designer handbags and choose.
Perfect lead into what's your favorite thing in your closet?
My designer handbags and choose. My last question is would
you ever be bachelorette? Um? I mean I have no

(01:50:16):
desire to know, but if they came to you with
a contract. It would be hard to say no, yeah,
but I don't really want to yeah. And does that
conclude our mini series of a podcast with Amanda stands
amazing eight episodes, Amanda follow our lead here. Thank you
again everybody out there listening. Make sure you tune in

(01:50:37):
next week for another episode of Almost Famous. I've Been Been,
I've been Ashley. I'm Amanda, I've been I've been Amanda.
I don't know why we started this, but we've done
it for two years later. Guys By