Bachelors on a Train

 Live from the Napa Valley Wine Train with a ton of friends from Bachelor Nation!

 Blake Hortsmann opens up about his feelings towards Hannah G and we finally get an answer on if he’s going to Paradise. Derek Peth tells us about his date with Stephanie Pratt from The Hills. We find out why Venmo John was the most dated person on Paradise. Vanessa Grimaldi uses bathroom habits as an indicator of relationship health.  Wells Adams reveals if he will be back as the bartender in Mexico this year!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast
with i R Radio. Hey guys, what's up. It is
Ashley I referring to myself as Ashley I, which some
people find really funny. Another thing that I find really
funny is talking to myself, So that is something I'm
not trying to do right now. Ben is not here,

(00:22):
but we are doing a special podcast from the Napa
Valley Wine Train, which is a pretty cool rain train
up here in Napa Valley. If you've never been to Napa,
which I hadn't until today, this is a really cool
way to get to know the area. It's like three
separate um cars, and there's like a dining car, there's

(00:43):
like a nice little like fancy, more relaxed car, and
then there's an outdoor car. And of course you get wine,
a lot of wine along the way, and you get
to look out on the beautiful vineyards. And it's definitely
something I'd highly recommend if you are going to go
visit Napa Sometimes. So while I am sitting here in
this makeshift studio that we have a you know, put together,

(01:06):
I have some friends from the Bachelor who are in
another car getting a little drunk. So I'm hoping that
there are some lucy goosey guests of mine today. We're
gonna start with Blake, the only guy that I don't
have questions for written out. But Blake's very easy because
I know what you guys want to hear from Blake about.
You want to hear about his rumored relationship with Christina

(01:31):
Shulman as of I feel like the fall, and you
also want to talk about how he feels about Hannah
g because he has been shipped with Hannah Ge like
none other, like I have never watched the show and
seeing two people that have possibly never met before but

(01:52):
have been shipped as hard as they are for this
upcoming season of Paradise. Maybe we'll get a hard answer
if he's going to Paradise, because it's the worst secret
in Bachelor Nation. So everybody, let's welcome Blake. Yeah, hello,
all right, Blake? What do you have there? What's in
your cup? I'd like to know what people are eating
at us in the cup. I don't know what the

(02:14):
stip is, like racota cheese in there. I don't know
the Italian way of saying ricotta is Rocota's okay? All right? Well? Great, um,
let's start out with some fun questions before I get
to all the shipping that you've had to deal with
over the past couple of months. How has the Bachelor

(02:35):
at changed your dating life? Like, I don't want you
to be like, oh my god, it's like I've gotten
I've gotten so many more d M and I've gotten
some like dirty picks. No, I want to know, like
how many girls you kissed this year? It's going for it.
I'm not going to answer that. No. Well, I mean,
would you even know how you kept it tally? No?

(02:56):
I kept it tally of kisses my whole life. Remember this?
Did you remember? Yes? I remember this. Yes, it's a
full circle moment we're having right now because you know,
since we last asked you that question, or I talked
about my list, that was in September, and you know
that was when he really started to experience life dating

(03:17):
after the Bachelor, which so I'm wondering how many kisses
you wrapped wrapped up? No, I mean, listen, dating now
is it's hard. It's hard. I mean it's easy because
you know, obviously there's a lot more opportunities and as
you could say, but also it's it's hard. Like, I
remember I took a girl on a date one time,
um and people were taking pictures of me from across

(03:40):
the bar, you know, on a date with this girl.
And she was like, does this happen like all the time?
And I was like, yeah, you know, like this is
something that you'd have to get used to, you know,
if if this was to happen. And then I remember
I asked her. I was like, did you tell your
friends that you were going on a date with me?
She's like I didn't. And I was like why and
she's like, I didn't. I felt like they judged me.
If you're going on a date with Blake from the

(04:00):
batch heads the cool thing, but that's the thing. She
didn't want it, so she said it because she didn't
want people to be like, all, the only reason you're
going with him is because he's Blake from the bat Serette.
So it just changed everything. Like she's like, like, normally
would you tell your friends that you're going to date
with somebody? And she's like, yeah, normally I would. She's like,
I didn't even know I was doing something different, but
it does. It changes everything. Chan it was actually an

(04:22):
old friend. It was an old friend from before the show. Yeah, no,
I don't get how did it happen? How did you
reconnect with an old friend? How did we reconnect? Actually,
I think it was just one of those We ran
in each other and I had always kind of had
a little crush on her, and so we went out.
That's cute, but the crush no longer exists. Didn't know,
I didn't really pan out, Like I like the way

(04:42):
that when Ben's not here, I will go full on
fan girl interview and I think it's fun every now
and then. Tell us something about you, Blake that is
off the norm of what we saw as your character
on the show. Like I don't want to say what
would be what would surprise people, but what my narrative
of the show, Like what because you were like kind

(05:04):
of this boy scout, But I don't really think of
you after like getting to know you a few in
a few different scenarios, like I think of you as
a boy scout anymore. No, that's that's actually exactly so,
And that's there's a lot of pressure coming off the
batcherette when you're casted or not cast But like your
narrative on the show is a boy scout, you know,
because it's hard because you feel like sometimes people look
at you and like expects you to be something that

(05:25):
you're not or better than who you are. And I mean,
I have my flaws and everything, you know, So yeah,
I definitely am not I'm not a boy scout um,
and I guess I mean I am sensitive like I
I do. I think I am. But I got that
narrative of I didn't seem like I was very seemed
like I was always in my head in the show, which,
don't get me wrong, it was really hard, hyper anxious,
I know, which is insane, which is insane. I kind

(05:47):
of want one of that. I eat while podcast and
thank you, I know, which is insane because if you
ask everybody that knows me, they're like, I'm very, very
laid back. But don't get me wrong, everybody reacts differently
in that vironment. So I get that I was don't
get me wrong, I was in my head, but I
wasn't not an anxious person, which is kind of funny.
Have you ever do usually respond to like a crumbling

(06:11):
relationship the way you did in the show, or did
you feel like you were even more out of control? Well,
but that's the problem at the time my larratio wasn't
crumbling with Mecca. So that's the issue is that is
that it wasn't crumbling at any point. Never did it crumble,
So at the end when it did happen, it was
hard because I didn't see it coming really, you know.

(06:33):
So that's made everything more difficult that it wasn't crumbling
at any point in your life. How many serious relationships
have you had? I would say two, okay, right after
college series two years, lived together everything, and then right before,
not right before the show about it, eight months, nine
months before the show, I thought I had found the
one that I was yeah, yeah, yeah. So those were

(06:55):
the two where I was like, this could be it.
This is a kind of thing. Okay, all right, Well
do you see your next serious relationship being with Hannah Gy?
You should just do? You know, you don't even need Ben.
I feel like you're asking way harder questions that I'm
I think I do ask harder questions with Ben here
because he like, he likes to be so nice and

(07:15):
I'm just gonna ask a politician. But that's why he's
good at this too. That's why he's good at this too. Yeah, um,
good question. No, I mean, no, listen, I am very
I'm going in open minded to Paradise. Uh and I'm excited,
I think so, I'll be honest, who's being a politician now? Touche?
When they first cast. When I saw the cast of

(07:36):
Colton season, I was like, oh my god, they're all
very young. Yeah, oh my god, they're stunning. Yeah. But
but I'm looking for, you know, a wife and so
you know, a serious relationship, and so when I saw
their ages and everything, I was kind of like, oh boy,
like I'm not even gonna go Paradise. But then once
I got to know them on the show, I was like,
you know what, I think there's a I'm not even
going to go to Paradise. Coming off the show, I

(08:00):
remember because that my mom was like, are you gonna
do Paradise? Was like, hell, no, no way I'm doing.
I think everybody has assumed that you're going to do
in Paradise since Colton was announced. Well, I mean, I
can't confirm it tonight. If I'm gonna do Paradise to night,
you can't. I wanted to get a confirmation today. No don't.
I haven't. No, like there's nothing, I haven't even had
any conversations. That's what's funny. Yeah, that's the best part

(08:22):
is like people like, yeah, people are like, oh, he's confirmed.
I'm like, I haven't even had conversations. You mean you
haven't had conversation. I haven't. I haven't had conversations about
being on the base. All right, Does that make you worried?
I don't know. I don't know if that's a good
sign or a bead side. I don't know. Um, I
remember being worried for Bachelor in Paradise season three when
they were like reaching out to Carly and Dared and
then they didn't reached out to me. I know that

(08:45):
they've reached out to multiple people, but yeah, I haven't
really had any kind of conversations. I don't know if
they're waiting to see who's going. I don't know. Maybe
you're just such a shoe in that they're not even
thinking that they have to call you. I feel like
that's messed up, okay, but we have acknowledged respect. That's
the girls from this season are so pretty. They are
they are Paradise is going to be ye, which girl

(09:08):
were you like? Whoa? Oh you mean like they're like
cast photo type thing. What do you mean like I mean,
I want to know who the first time you saw
the cast pictures, and then who you were like, holy
damn when she stepped by the limo. Oh oh my gosh.

(09:29):
Actually I hate your question. I can eat while you think.
God you're right is a very studdying cats. But I
will be honest. Hannah GE's cast shoto. I remember being like, whoa,
the girl's gorgeous. I remember, I remember that moment. I
was like, holy cow, that chicks gorgeous. Um, there's a
lot of Kaylin. Remember her cast photo. I was like,

(09:51):
oh wow, um, but there's a lot. So that's the
thing too, because sometimes the cast photo will three off
our photos in general, and you seem in person, well yeah,
look at Jed from Hannis. These pictures were of These
were horrible pictures. You know, we went through, we went
through every guy and we gave a sentence on what
we hear that it was really fun. And then I

(10:13):
was like Jed not cute Jett and real I didn't
see him in real life, but Jett and the paparazzi
potures with like some mad swag. They did not There's
no justice for those guys. Those pictures were awful. So
I'm waiting to see until I see them in person,
and I think it will change. Um, but if I

(10:33):
go to Paradise, if I just said to go to
Paradise unexcited. So you think Hannah Gi is really hot,
but you're open minded. I am going in very open
minded into Paradise. So you said earlier, the shipping that's happened,
I feel it's insane. Remember you saying when we were
in Connecticut it was insane, Like every fourth person was
liked Henery. Well, people are assuming that you guys are

(10:54):
already talking can be super honest, Like have you exchanged
a few little dms just about Like, Hey, isn't it
funny that people are shipping us so hard? Not d
M s. No, but I have met her for like
a good ten fifteen minutes. Yeah, isn't she super impressive?
Like not only is she just beautiful, but she also
has such an amazing personality. She's so refreshing to be around. No,

(11:17):
I was surprised. I was saying that I was surprised
to and I don't want to say that she didn't
come across ground on the show. She was getting it
out of the show. She wasn't on the show. I
have a theory that blowing. I have a theory that
they like edit her out of the show because then
people would have thought that Colton was wacky. I mean,
not that Cassie don't seemed great, but like it was
like Hannah Geees not only setting but like wants to

(11:38):
be with you and is so smart and and you know,
got this great personality. And but I also feel really
bad for her because she just got out, you know
how it is on the show, Like you get out
of the show and you're she was in a quote
unquote relationship with Colton that she had a fake and
then suddenly it's like, I know that's how bastination is.
But then suddenly she's like shipped back in another relationship.

(11:58):
So I feel bad for her. Let the girl live
live a little bit. So you did hang out, let
me play, okay, So you got her number that is
not okay? Um, and then there's somebody else who you
had sort of like a fling with. And I'm not
just saying this because like I know, but because like

(12:19):
pretty much everybody, yeah, you and Christina Shulman, like how
the flirtation, I'd say, was there a relationship. You want
to clarify things that happened with Christina Shelman now before
you see her in Paradise, And oh yeah, I definitely
think she's gonna be there. No, I mean we've talked
about this quite a few times. She talks about it
like we were hanging out. It was a very weird

(12:42):
point in my life, right, I'd like, just come off
the show, and I didn't realize, you know, how demanding
this is coming off the show, and how crazy the
schedule is and everything. And she's great. Um, you know,
we had we had, we had some good times, but
I just felt like at that time and just in general,
I don't know, if you don't necessarily it would have worked.
And so we decided to and it was very it

(13:04):
was mutual, and it was like, we don't not like
each other, we don't hate each other, there's no bad
blood there. It was just kind of right now, this
timing and everything, it's just it's not right. So I
feel like sometimes that that happens, and I mean sometimes
I think that shared and I then it started happened there,
but we all know that that was meant to be
in the end. In this you make it seem like

(13:25):
it's not meant to be in the end, But when
we went into Paradise, I feel like emotions can be
heightened and even though you're like, oh it didn't work
out or like that was mutual, you get into Paradise
and then you're like, we're supposed if I love and
I love you, you you know environment Yeah, it's crazy. So,
like I wonder if there will be some drama there
if she does do it, and if you do do it,
I may maybe I don't. I mean, who knows. The

(13:47):
producers are magicians, so maybe make some drama out of that.
I don't know, but I don't foresee it. Like I don't.
I'm not scared, Like if she walks down the stairs
and be like happy to see, like, I'm not going
to be like, oh my god, shoot, you know she's here. No,
it'll be like that all. I'll be happy to see
her and everything. Um, there's no like I said, question
for you though, So I've been asking this, right, Yeah,
So what do you think is not like I said,
I honestly had no conversations yet, what do you think

(14:09):
it is better to be the original cast on Paradise
would be the first one down the stairs with a
date card. So I was in both situations for you. Yeah,
I was well the second girl in of the second bunch, yeah,
the first bunch of girls that were in the original cast.
And then I was also in the original cast. And
it is way better to be in the original that's

(14:30):
what everybody says. Okay, oh yeah, because I think some
people can really come in and like mess things up
if but I don't think that's in your Actually, there
might be like a lot of girls waiting for you,
so it may be great. If you're like the first
guy down there outside of the original cast, you probably
go in like day two. Yeah, it wouldn't be exactly two,

(14:53):
But everybody everybody's been saying original cast is a way
to go, like yes, because that you never want to
walk in and then see person that you planned on
going on a date with already pretty committed. That would
be hard. I like those little cream puff things, So yeah, okay,
get me another one of those and eastern leave that in.

(15:15):
All right, My one last discussion with you has to go.
It goes back to Christina. So there's this was it
from an email actually from Jordan's and she said there
was talk of Dean and Christina possibly being back on Paradise.
I could be wrong, but wasn't Blake and Christina somewhat
of an item coming off back of season? Hypothetically speaking,

(15:35):
Let's say Blake and Hannah g have been in communication
and then Christina shows up and this is not my
own words, this is Jordan's words, shows up with all
of her cleanness. I can see drama happening right now. Thoughts.
First of all, Christine is not clean. I'm gonna put
that out there. I know it's not your words, but
I know that ships. That's like they're I don't want

(15:56):
your reputation, But it doesn't like like I said, I
don't wouldn't be scared that she walked down and like
I would not be like, oh my god. You know,
if I'm in the relationship with anybody at that point,
or you don't have a connection with somebody, I don't
think she'd walk down and be like, oh no, she's
about starting to blow everything up. Like I wouldn't. Exactly,
you told me you wouldn't bring it up. They wouldn't

(16:16):
be like that. It wouldn't. I'm not. I wouldn't be
scared if she walked down the well just in defense
of Christina. Cleanness is really just you really like somebody,
you want to be with them. Yeah, especially on the show,
like they only show if you're really into somebody. They're
only going to show the part where you seeing cleaning
and then they're gonna put the music. But do don't
do do? Do? Don't do? Do? Do? Do? You talk
from experience? I think I know? Well, thank you, like

(16:37):
you're always a fantastic guest, is so fun appreciated? Will
you will? Will? Can you help me in welcoming our
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(16:59):
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(17:45):
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(18:52):
third love dot com slash famous for fifteen percent off today. Alright, Hi, Derek,
how are you Ashley good? How are you? I'm great today?
How how has life been since you have been like
a little bit taking a little time off from the
public eye. I feel like you've been kind of quiet

(19:12):
over the past year. Yeah, you know, so, I mean
like I had, I do have my um normal job,
normal job exactly? How is that being a Bachelor contestant
with a nice normal job. So I was never looking
to to be on the show. Like I don't know
if I've ever heard my background behind all of this before,
but but my little sister like put my information in

(19:35):
and when they called me for the show, it's like
at work, and I thought I thought it was a
print call. It was. It was like this really pubblic
girl with this l a act. She was like, Hi,
this is Kelly from the Bachelor. Are you still single.
I was just like, uh, who is this awesome? So
I actually made her email me. I hung up there,

(19:55):
like it's like a telemarker. It's like when they called
me and they're like, actually I used this excuse on
the phone sular day and I couldn't believe it came
out of my mouth. I go, I'm sorry, Ashley, can't
come to the phone right now? Can I take a message?
You know? I used to answer the phone and be
like Derek's assistant, just a mess with people, and and
every once in a while with like telemarketers too. Yeah. Yeah,

(20:17):
so so I mean I think like I've always kind
of tried to seek um, like slipping away a little bit.
But you know it's so so I like that. I like,
I like um, I like doing a ninety five job. Honestly,
that's like, that's that's me. Yeah, I just it's just me. Yeah.
But you know, sometimes you need to excite, you know,
add a little excitement to your life. So you decide

(20:39):
to go on a date with Stephanie Pratt, who is
from The Hills um and the reboot of the Hills,
which airs in June. It seems like, wells, you're I
feel like it was your best he's your best friend
from the Bachelor franchise. He really is. Yeah, I mean
he's he will be in my wedding some day. And
he says that about me too, like where we are
real life, very great friends. Okay, that's nice. So he

(21:00):
set you up because he has a news but I know,
see that's like the kind of thing that have beends here.
He's like, now, let's take a moment to relish and
what a what a wonderful blessing this friend of this
and let's talk about the date you do a really
good ben. Thank you, thank you. I've done this enough

(21:22):
with them to know exactly what he would say in
the situation. Okay, So I think that Wells probably hooked
you up because he does the Pratt Cast with Stephanie Pratt.
Yeah exactly. And and were they looking for some fodder
to talk about on the show. I mean he didn't
really tell me much. He just, um, he just texted
me one day and I was like, hey, like, I

(21:43):
have I have an idea you should like you should
call me later. And then we called him on the
phone and he was like, listen, we want to do
this like fun thing with you where I think he
wanted to call me so he could convince me this
was not done over text. There are some things where
you like text your friend and be like, hey, when
do you have time to talk? Yeah, exactly and uh

(22:05):
and and he was he like he like walked all
around it. And finally I was like, well, it's just like,
what's what's going on? And um he was like, you know,
I just started to do this new podcast, and UM,
I think this girl would be like a really fun
date for you to go on, and also we can
hang out in that way. She's really pretty. She's super
fun too, actually, and she is very pretty. Yes, of course,

(22:25):
so you're actually on board the Napa Valley wine train
right now, and this is kind of your second date
or so wells like, so say your second date was
definitely because she's here as well. And I've been observing
you guys, it seems like you're having a pretty good time. Yeah.
I think she's like she has a super good sense
of humor. Um. One of the things that I was

(22:47):
like really unexpected they came like really unexpected from her,
was she like she really bust balls and I like that,
but like, actually it's it's hard for me to find
girls who appreciate that back, and that's like part of
my sense of humor and just like who I am.
And she really liked that she was. She kept telling
me how funny I was, and I was like, oh
my god, this is the greatest thing. Like nobody ever

(23:09):
tells me that I'm No girls ever tell me that
I'm funny. Then then this is promising. Okay, so let's
just pretend like this goes somewhere very well. May then
you could have Spencer Pratt as a brother and Mom,
how would you feel about that? And did you used
to watch The Hills? Like do you don't even know

(23:29):
who Spencer Pratt is? So I really don't. Um, I
didn't watch the Hills. I did watch the Gunda Beach.
But then, like I think I was in college and
it just like they didn't have MTV on our schools
network or whatever. I went to school in Iowa. Okay, Okay,
my reason. So that was what my life would be

(23:51):
like with Chris Souls exactly. MTV list him last week
for the first Yeah, it was he so sweet, He's
very sweet. Does he seems like he's doing well? I
think he's Okay, we all care about it. I know
he's you know, he's got a lot going on, but
but like I think he's doing he's doing all right.
He's he was fun and happy, so okay, well that's

(24:12):
good anyway. Um, yeah, Like I don't know much about
Spencer Bad. I know he's got an interesting rap. I
know he's a really funny guy though too. So I
mean honestly, I like don't really usually hold any um
grudges again people before I meet him, and even if
like I've had beef with people, I like, I'm I
don't know, I think again, it comes from my Iowa background,

(24:34):
like a similar to Ben Indiana. US midwesterners were just
like we seek the best in everybody. So we just
we just try to find ways to laugh and connect
with people. Um, so I'm sure it would be fine,
but maybe not. I'm you know, I live in New York. Now. Yeah,
I was gonna say, I was like, so you went
from are you went from Iowa to New York? How
has been the naturansition? Transition? Surprisingly easy? Are you in Manhattan?

(24:57):
Are you in a borough? I was? I was living
in Connecticut. I actually moved to Chelsea next week right
in the mix of everything. Oh, I'm like, I'm like,
that's that's the best. That's my favorite place of New York.
I'm like, I know people try to be cool and
they're like, oh, the Lower East Village or you know,
trade Becca or Brooklyn, and I'm like, I just like
some Broadway and some reliable food. Yeah, I love Like

(25:22):
you ever watch How I Met Your Mother and they
make up like a Burrow that's Taoist, Like they just
make up this nickname and it stands for downwind from
the sewage treatment. But I don't know that that's how Like,
that's how they make up neighborhoods in New York. They
can try to make them sound cool so that they
can just like you know, bring bring people in. Um,

(25:43):
well you did Paradise Ones. It worked for you in
a way that I mean, you got life experience, you met,
You've got a fiance from it. Yeah. Um, like I wouldn't.
I would never change anything that happened throughout that whole experience,
you know, like in the moment, that's absolutely how I felt,
and that's the decisions I made. Um, the producers did

(26:07):
call me last week. I knew what you're leading into.
I think I'm not going to do it again. I'm sure. Yeah,
you like you're really sure. I am really sure. Okay, alright,
I like my nine five too much. And with that,
actually's like, okay, next guest, No, no, no, I'm going
to ask you one little fun question because I don't
want to ask who you would I want to see

(26:29):
in Paradise since you're not going there, But I'm going
to try to predict which girl you sort of had
a crush on. I'm watching this, I'm interested actually, Okay,
So I'm going to ask you one simple question and
then the duct from there. Who is your celebrity crush? Oh?
This is interesting, it's changed recently, gal Gado. Okay, that's
a great crush to have. And I would say you

(26:52):
would have been most into, not one that I would actually,
not the one that I've normally thought, but absolutely she's like,
she seems like an incredible person. Who were you thinking of? Um? So,
I like I do my like show, and I've talked

(27:16):
about DEMI seems very like. I like somebody who's really spunky,
like I talked about that earlier, right, so somebody who
can give it back that's really important. And she definitely
gives it back. Yeah, exactly, and her and then for
some reason at lease, yeah totally was. I think she's
just like gorgeous and seems like a great person. Yeah,

(27:37):
it's too bad we didn't get to see more of her,
but obviously I couldn't go from Galcado to no, you know,
they're not related. But I tried my very best. You know,
I think I think I think Ta was like a
great guest too, because that's probably you know in that
yeah classy, well put together that but a but also

(27:58):
like tough, right, yes, like a wonder woman, not a pushover.
Yeah yeah, perfect, she could beat some aliens up, I think. Yeah. Alright,
so you and Taylor broke up about a year ago. Now,
it's been a little bit less than a years abound
about ten months. Everybody always says the nice thing in
their pr release says that we're going to remain friends

(28:21):
and you know, root for each other. Sure, we might
root for each other, but is it Are we really interactive?
Are you guys at all in touch? No, we're not, um,
you know, the like, I've never really spoken much on
what happened there. I know she has like a lot,
but the truth is like I don't feel the need
to go into a lot of the personal details. Um,

(28:43):
but I will say, you know, it was it was
warranted that we really haven't talked much since then. Yeah,
Like it's very healthy that we don't speak often. Um.
And I know there's like a lot of questions that
go around that, and we could talk for probably two hours.
We could probably do an in depth especially since she
has her own podcast. She probably does her own in

(29:04):
depth exactly week exactly. And sometimes I feel like that
could be frustrating to the other person who doesn't necessarily
have a podcast or platform. Well, I mean you do,
you do have past, like you don't talk about but
we don't talk about personal issues psychological style, yeah exactly. Um,
it was frustrating like to hear all that actually, Um.

(29:25):
You know, like there was a number of calls that
had with people to like suss through that, and and
you know they all ended up at the point like listen,
it's up to you say what you want. Um, Like
I don't think that's you to to to go out
and and and like try to start a you know,
public battle over this or and and that was that

(29:45):
was the right answer, you know, the truth was I
was like, you know what, that's right, that's not me.
I'm not the person that needs to either like win
this or tell my side of anything, because because you
know what, like I'm moving past this, I don't need
to I don't need to like sit in it and
stay there. So that's why I never really like made
any comments or or anything, um about what happened in
the end. You know it Like again, it was it was.

(30:07):
It was a break for the right reasons, um. And
the fact that we don't stay in contact today is
like really healthy. It's a positive. That's good. That's good. Well,
I'm glad that you guys figured it out the way
that you know it was best for you, and I
think we both have different opinions on that. Yeah, she
like totally wanted to stay in touch, and that I was,
you know, not that didn't they didn't make sense for

(30:28):
the way our relationship ended, but you were to be
that way. You're definitely upset about your relationship ending to
some degree because you did go to therapy for it,
and we're in group therapy for a few months before
a couple of therapy I shouldn't say group yet, couple
of therapy. So tell me about the perks of couples
therapy and then why you want to go seek it

(30:49):
after Like what was like the real reason that you
felt like you needed to work out with a professional
and not necessarily a friend. Um. I think the couple's
therapy like the very important thing you get there is um,
somebody who's like an outside of server who gets a
key in on the most important thing that the other
person said, because like we get heated in conversation when

(31:10):
you're in a relationship, you know, and and like it's
easy to get lost in in like thinking about your
own thoughts and not like maybe what the other person
said that was really like meaningful to them, right, And
I think it's really good for like the great part
about group there or a couple of therapy, sorry, is
that there's there was there who's like, did you hear
this specific thing that they said? I think that seems
important to them and there's like a validation there that happens.

(31:33):
It's really powerful, and I like, I suggest anybody who
is like trying to make something work that they seek
that out. UM. And then you know, personal therapy is UM.
I think it's something that almost any everybody should be
doing anyway, and then right we all like where people,
we all have we all have issues. And I think

(31:53):
for me it was just like a really good way
for me to um here like like these are people
who have spent year studying why we think the way
we do, you know, and then they're like there's all
these little again. It's like it's like separation from the
things that anger us or like make us really emotional
and and into like but does this really matter or

(32:14):
like what is the important part of it? So I
think it helped me really like define a clear next
step and and why like things happen the way they did,
as well as like being happy and positive from from
the ending of that. You talked to us Weekly about
it a couple of months ago, And what I do
love in that article is that you mentioned that you
didn't want to just commiserate with friends and like just

(32:34):
feel sappy and just talk about what you were so
sad about. You wanted to like kind of use it
as a way to move on. Yeah, I feel like friends,
Like a lot of times I love all my friends,
but they tend to just like say the same thing
that you're that you're thinking or or just just be like, yeah,
that she's horrible, you know what I mean, But that's
not like really what you need to keep moving forward.

(32:56):
So that's a great it's a great solution to that problem.
I think more people should go to therapy have to
break up. It would probably be very helpful and cut
the recovery time in half, I would hope. And and like,
you know, don't backslide and text that X wa what
do you mean to go backslide and text about text
that X? I mean, don't text the X. No, no, no,

(33:16):
that just puts you back again. All Right, Well, Derek,
thank you so much. Thanks actually for having me and
um stupid. We won't see you in Paradise, but thanks
for being so honest about it. Yeah, and you'll be
a liar if we see you there. I've been known
to lie like white lies in the past, So all right,
so I won't keep you to here work, all right, bye, Derek,

(33:37):
Thank you so much. So you guys, we have memo
John here, which oddly we went through an entire Paradise
season in which you were like the main man, the
main man be both sought after dated man and paradise
and we still didn't have you on, which is crazy.

(33:59):
So well, I'm said, they almost miss podcast. Thank you
for having me. I have a good amount of questions
for you right now. You have a girlfriend. Sorry to
all you girls out there that we're looking to date
Vemo John, Yes, tell us about how you met her? Yes,
So Brittany is amazing. She we met actually several years

(34:21):
ago through work, and we didn't really get a chance
to hang out much or get to know each other
too much until I would honestly say, like around bachelorette time,
and we were good friends. We started becoming good friends
around that time because she was like, hey, I'm a
big fan of the show and I'd love to see

(34:42):
you get on because we were starting to become friends.
She helped me get on. Then she uh also enjoyed
getting to like just be part of that experience and
see a friend go on the show. Then I went
on Paradise, and I think we continued hanging out as
friends and then realized that we were more than friends,

(35:03):
and so that happened towards like later after the show ended,
and we started dating after that. Crazy you think that
she developed a crush on you through seeing how sought
after you were on Paradise. He was like, wait a second,
this guy's my friend and every other girl wants him,
and I just realized I want him to I don't

(35:26):
know if any part of the show influenced how she
felt about me, because we knew each other before the
show ever happened, so she got to see me before
the show, and I like to think that she already
thought I was kind of an awesome person before the show,
So hopefully the show didn't have any sort of impact
on her. If it did, I'm hoping that it was

(35:48):
also just a positive impact. Um. But we're we're in
a good place now and I'm really happy about that.
So you were the guy that every girl asked out
last year? Quickly, what why do you think that was?
I came in with a completely open mind, and I
put myself out there to go meet everybody, so you

(36:11):
could talk to any of the women out there, and
I was like, Hey, I'm John, Let's go chat for
half an hour an hour on the beach and let's
just hang out and if there's some kind of connection
or vibe there, let's just keep hanging out. And I
didn't really try to let my nerves kick in or
let myself talk myself out of hanging out with anybody.

(36:33):
And I really just wanted to see what could happen,
and so I didn't have expectations and that was the
best part of it. I know that we don't really
know Hannah's cast of guys yet, but is there a
guy from the franchise that you can foresee being you
this coming Paradise season? You know, to be honest, I
didn't watch any of the opening guys from Hannah season,

(36:55):
so I don't know. You were like such a good
friend last season. I feel like all the girls kind
of wanted to date you because they all just liked
being around you, and I felt like you were just
like Mr. What was Sandra Bullock? And mh you're Miss Congeniality.
You're Mr. Congeniality. So who do you keep in touch

(37:18):
with the most? Yeah, I definitely so. Blake was not
somebody that I came on Paradise on my season, but
I've definitely kept in touch with Blake a lot. Another
friend of mine was Garrett, and I kept in touch
quite a bit with Clay and Chris. So um. A

(37:39):
lot of folks I've met through the show are not
people that I would have met otherwise. Like I'm kind
of in my tech bubble in SF, and I have
retained my job both before and after, and these are
people that I wouldn't traditionally meet otherwise, and I've what's
one of the things I've been most grateful about is
it's like introduced me to people that I wouldn't normally

(38:01):
hang out with otherwise, and I think that's been pretty awesome.
I one person I really liked who I felt like
influenced me a lot on Paradise was Kevin and he
was like almost a good mentor for me and just
like help me think about things or talk about things
differently from a perspective that I hadn't seen before. And

(38:23):
it's something that I appreciated because I felt like he
was kind of like a brother to me on the show.
That's nice. Um, what about let's go visit let's go
revisit the Clay thing for a second. Not only were
you friends with Clay on your season The Bachelorette, but
you were also friends with Angela definitely in Paradise, and
it seems like they have broken up. We don't have

(38:45):
any confirmation of this, but do you know from your
own personal sources. I Uh, your sources are as good
as mine, and I haven't heard anything. So uh, you
know you haven't heard anything. MoMA. How in touch with
you are? Are you with Clay? My My goal is
to be on both of their sides as their friends,

(39:06):
and I want the best for them. I know that
they weren't co located in the same location, so any
sort of long distance relationship can be really hard. Was
he still trying to get into the NFL? Is he's
still working at that? I know Clay works out quite
a bit and he is an incredibly athletic guy. So
I see him at the gym like at least twice
a day every day. And my last question for you

(39:28):
is you have this nickname Venmo John because you were
one of the first people who worked at Venmo. You
did coding for them. I was an engineer there. Yeah, okay,
So what did you do before you went on the show?
And what do you do now? So? I was an
engineer at Venmo for about five years UM and then
in a small startup and started by the founder of

(39:50):
venmouled Finn, and a few weeks ago I started a
new job at a Sanna and it's work management software.
So still within the tech realm in Silicon Valley, and
it's a really good group of folks. So I'm still
very much in the tech scene. I'm an engineer and

(40:12):
engineering manager there. So um, I've still very much kept
my roots in what I enjoy and find passion in,
which is in engineering. Awesome, all right, well, thank you
for joining us for the first time, Venmo John, And
I'm sorry for calling you Venmo John, because I know
that you don't really like that. Dude. I don't know
where it came from that I don't like it because
I have I'm in different like about the name. If

(40:33):
I heard earlier somebody said like, sorry, I know you
don't like that. It's been calling poor Venmo John Venmo
John like for two days now. And then somebody I said, oh,
can you wait here for Derek and Venmo John? And
she does I need to Venmo? Who was? I just
think it's funny because I don't work at Venmo anymore.
And it's well, you know what, You've been giving them

(40:55):
a ton of publicity. They've gotten gotten a lot of
free publicity. They put me in ads in the New
York City subways though, So I thought that was awesome.
That was so cool that people would text me out
of the blue that I haven't seen from a long
time and they're like, hey, I saw you in you know,
the J Street chain station. I'm like, WHOA, I didn't
even know I was there. Yeah. A lot of you

(41:15):
know moms out there who are like, what are what's venmo? Well,
you taught them what veno was and you probably changed
their life when it comes to going out to eat
with their friends. Keep using it. Send your college kids money,
all right, thank you, Josh. Okay, Now we are joined.
Is this like one of those roulette versions of the
podcast that we do sometimes, especially around finale season. We're

(41:38):
doing it today on the NAPA Valley Wine Train. Our
next guest is Vanessa, and Vanessa usually been on this
podcast once. I think I replaced you when you were
on Winner Games. Yeah, so I never did it, Oh
well I did. I think once I came in for
like five minutes to talk. I remember what I came
in to talk about with you and Ben you called

(42:00):
me in, but I never was face to face with
you doing the podcast. It feels different, all right. So
you are the host You're one third of the host
for Help I Suck a Dating, which is funny because
it's a panel of you, Jared and Dean and uh,
two of you are in relationships and now one just
sucks at dating. It's so funny. So Diana was the

(42:21):
one that started the podcast, and then Jared came on,
and then I came on, and we were all basically
single when we first started, and then Jared got well,
you guys got engaged, and now I'm in a committed relationship.
It's fairly it's still fairly new. It's still like a
couple of months, but I feel really good about this relationship.
I don't want to jinx it. Okay. So I know

(42:42):
a lot of the things that are talked about in
your podcast because sometimes Jarard will bring the topics home
and be like, what do you think about this? Because
you guys often don't agree, and that's a good thing
for the podcast. One of the things I could not
believe was that you like your boyfriend to keep the
bathroom door open. Yes, And I was just like, before
coming on, I was like, guys, I didn't take my

(43:04):
I know he said that, and I was like, I
appreciate that. Because like I had to go to the
room for a similar reason. But um, I'm pretty open
with Jared about like the potty stuff now. I mean,
when you live in an apartment together, it's kind of
hard to hide it. Yeah, I mean you try to
be as discreet as as possible for me at least,

(43:25):
but like it's nothing I feel they need to like
turn on the shower in order to go anymore. Like now,
that's what I used to do. Yeah, especially when we
when we were first together, before we started living together,
I would all I would never go, never go potty
with him there, unless I was taking a shower and
doing it at the same time, so you would hold

(43:45):
it in. I don't know that I really have to
have the Yeah, I guess so, well, look, I guess
so I'm my my boyfriend is he's like a little
weirded out by the fact that because I've been in
relationships where you would oh yeah, I'm like, I don't care,

(44:06):
se I don't like that at all. Like I'm okay
with being open about like this is what I have
to go do, but I can't imagine doing it with
somebody else in the room, like not even my sister,
Like I've mastered it. There's so many tricks to it,
so I can face time someone and I'm like going
to the bathroom, but like it's like I'm I know
it's about to drop, but I just put myself on mute. Okay,

(44:28):
But but why why do you want your boyfriend to
keep the door open when he's going Because I get
for like, in an intense conversation, he's like, I gotta
go to the bathroom, Like we'll just leave the door
open and we'll talk. Stop. How many intense conversations you have?
So many were still getting to get exits himself to
go potty, and then you are so fresh in a relationship,
and yet you tell him to not keeping that's the same.

(44:51):
I'm like if if he can't handle that, then like
I'm the type of person like I've been in relationships
and you've seen like my relationships fail like publicly or whatever,
and I'm someone that needs to know the person fully
and not like if I'm meeting you, I don't want
you to tell me something about yourself in six months
from now. Like whatever you think you're gonna tell me

(45:12):
in six months, just tell it to me now. And
I find that so attractive and like when someone is
so authentically themselves, whether that's like something that they've done
in the past that they're really ashamed of, and if
they're honest about it and they own it, I'm like,
that's so hot. So like the same thing with like
the bathroom like whatever, like everyone goes no shame, like
God forbid, knock on wood. I get sick one day

(45:32):
and you know, well, Jared's seen me throw up before,
like he's seen vomit come out of my mouth twice.
It's not that's when vomit comes out of well yeah,
I know, but like he he hasn't just heard me
in the bathroom, like he's like the waterfall. I just
I don't think we're ever going to see eye to
eye on this. I'm never going to be comfortable with
my significant I want, you know, I don't want anybody

(45:54):
got to go I know, the door. I don't like
the thought of anyone going around me. No, I don't
have my girlfriends like my sister. If I walking on
the bathroom, walk into the bathroom with her going, I'll
be like, no, I know it's coming out of your room. No, No,
I don't like I don't know well, I think I am.
I'm different, though a lot of people are like that's

(46:16):
just disgusting, especially as a girl like differ. It's I
guess like people find it weird, but I'm also someone
like I don't know. Like if I'm showering and I'm
like I want my boyfriend to be in the room
with me, he'll like lie down and like we'll have
like a conversation as I'm showering and he's in the
bathroom like just hanging out with me. What's so funny
is that you keep talking about this need to talk,

(46:37):
like even it into the bathroom and you're like, I
I'm lonely, like I need you to come in while
I'm either going to the bathroom we're taking a shower.
Attachment style is like what is it? There's like four
different attachment styles and when one is an anxious attachment style?
Have you ever done that? Yes, I think there's an anchor.
I think I'm a little bit of an Yeah, I'm

(46:58):
an anxious. You're preoccupied, anxious, preoccupied, dismissive, slash avoided or
fearful and avoidance. Yeah. So you can do a test
to see what kind of attachment style you are, and
I don't know, okay, but you have. You seem to
me like an introvert extrovert, where like you can have
very extroverted moments, but you actually need your alone time

(47:22):
to get compressed. But it seems like you and your
relationships are in constant chat mode. We are. It's so
I remember um the first time we so he slid
into my d M s and that's how we started talking.
So he messaged me on Instagram. We started chatting, and
from that day on, we've literally every like, if we're

(47:44):
not together, we're texting each other. If we're not together,
we're FaceTime. There's something that that's constantly we need to
be updating each other. It's also the beginning of a relationship.
It's so fresh, it's so fun, Like you constantly want
to be next to each other, and you have so
much to share and so much to get to know
about each other. So yeah, I want to be pooping
with him with the door open because I'm like, I
have more to tell you, there's more to get to know.

(48:04):
Oh my gosh. Okay, now this is a topic. I
do need to hear your point of view about audience,
so email your thoughts to Ben and Ashley at I
heart media dot com. I need to see how many
of you are No one isn't agree with me. Okay,
well we'll see, we'll see, we'll see, Vanessa, I actually
want to do a pole like count to them and

(48:28):
if you haven't, just try it and then then let
me know. Never like, I just love the fact that
I was able to go upstairs to the room of
myself and Jared is down here, like it's just nice. Um, yeah,
we have it. That's that's like a say, you know,
what I really find to be the best solution is
really just the match. Really the match eliminates the smell

(48:49):
better than anything else. Well, it's also like the courtesy
flush just like that helps them. Yeah. Both okay, moving on,
but also not completely so. On the podcast, you guys
talk about all this relationship stuff all the time. What
is something that you, as a girl feel like guys
don't get a girl girls like you're just never going

(49:10):
to see eye to eye on I think, And it's
so interesting. I was dating this one guy and we
were having this discussion and he's like, you know, girls
just constantly think of the relationship like you guys are
walking down the street and you were thinking what my
man is up to? Like what is my guy up to?
Or you're like brushing your teeth and you're thinking about
calling your guy. Guys are walking down the street thinking
like I wonder if the Patriots played today, Like they're

(49:30):
not constantly thinking of the relationship. Um. And I think
that's one thing women and men will never really see
eye to eye. And I think that's why, Like, you know,
I'm an overthinker and I'm someone that needs to be
with someone who wants to talk things through because I'm
constantly in my head thinking like trying to connect connect
the dots and trying to you know, I want to

(49:53):
be ahead of the game. Um. But sometimes I get
so into my head. I create scenarios in my head.
I'm like, damn it, I'm and crazy, and so I
like to be able to talk about those kinds of things. No,
I totally get it. You're right. Whenever Jared's quiet and
seems like he he's in a mood, I'm like, what
I do? What I do? Tell me what I did?
And He's like, no, seriously, I'm just contemplating something that
I don't like about myself. You know. Well, that's usually

(50:16):
when Jared gets down, it's usually doesn't have to do
it with about me. It usually has to do with
like one of his own insecurities. But I find you guys.
Are you guys like balance each other off so nicely? Yes?
We do. We are the perfect compliments and opposites at
the same time. It's really good. Um. My last question
for you is, well, where do you see this relationship

(50:37):
going with your boyfriend and would you ever do the
Bachelor process again? If this would you? Well, no, I
couldn't do it for a fifth time. Okay, I only
did it once, but I did end up engaged, and
I it was a little traumatizing for me because I

(50:57):
wanted to be engaged and I want to make sure
that that relationship was going to turn into marriage, you know,
like you have that scenario in your head. And I'm like, okay,
Like now, I'm I'm I accepted the fact that that
wasn't my happily ever after. Um I don't I always
say never say never because I never thought I would
ever ever beyond the Bachelor and I'm happy that I

(51:19):
did it. Um, But I feel really secure in the
relationship I am in now. Um. So I feel I
feel really good about it, So that's a non but
you also seem like super cognitive about it, Like you
seem very mentally in control about it, Like you're not
like super giddy. You know, I'm in therapy, Like, yeah,

(51:42):
so therapy definitely helps. Um um, and I've I've done
a lot of as much as trauma, as much as
The Bachelor was really traumatizing, it was helpful in the
sense that, you know, like when you're in a relationship
in the real world, you call your friend and you
call your mom, you want to get advice from like
certain people to see what the best advices and what
the next step is in your relationship. When you're on

(52:04):
the Bachelor, you're only relying on yourself. I know. That's
the biggest difference. Yeah, and it it felt so good
to just rely on what my intuition was telling me.
So I did a lot of self reflection and um.
As like I said, as as traumatizing as it was,
it just like it really helped me grow. It's so
crazy because you actually go from like not being able
to send a text without your sister approval, right, do

(52:27):
I put a dodge? I put an next commation point
do I put an emoji like to doing everything by
yourself and then not even having texting as a crutch. Yeah,
all right, well, Vanessa, thank you so much for joining us,
and you guys make sure to listen to her podcast
with Dean and Jared help I suck at dating? Also
here on my heart. Okay, hey guys, we have our

(52:55):
our last guest of our marathon. Um roulette. I'm the
last one, last of five. Yeah. Well we had to,
you know, finish out strong because we know that you
and I do this podcast very well together. You're a
very good co host. I'm okay cool. Why because I'm
the last one, You're the caboose and Beyonce's boote. Yeah.

(53:20):
Do you wanna do you want to start out with
light topics or dark? Not dark? Deep? Let's start light.
Let me sober up whilst we do this. All right,
this the journalists in US can go read this email
in which I've been really messing up on grammar lately.
Is this from Catherine? Do you want me to read it? Yeah? Okay?

(53:41):
Top one Catherine ash Irish Ristwatch, Irish rist Watch, Irish
Rush How now brown coup Ashley repeated repeatedly uses the
word casted, as in, when you got casted on the show?

(54:04):
Do we have like a is there a guitar player? Back?
The past tense is cast. The past tense of cast
is cast. She is repeatedly using a word that doesn't exist.
That's not even a question, this is just talking. But

(54:24):
did you know this? Ashley repeatedly uses the worst cast
when you were casting the show, not casting the show? Okay, okay,
I see what you're saying. I do. I say cast
it like to cast? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
Um is casted like um a fishing pole? Is that casted?
I don't even know you cast a fishing pole? You

(54:46):
cast a fishing pole? You're casting? Yeah? I don't even know.
I looked it up and it said cast. It is
not also did in the American Dictionary. Catherine relax, It's okay,
Ben says. Ben gets grammar stuff sometime too, because he
always still says Ashley and eyes instead of Ashley and

(55:06):
my Do you want me to do a cat No? Okay,
I want I'm sorry. I ruined that. No, no, no,
that was that was good. Um, So, Pachelor in Paradise,
are you going to come back as the bartender, What
do you want me to say here? Well, I want
you to just know. I want you to say what
you actually know. I would say, who knows what's going

(55:30):
to happen? So it's really not in stone yet. Do
you want me to be honest about it? You know
as well as I do that contracts coming in front
of your face about seventh seventeen hours before you fly
out there? Ye? Absolutely okay, So if you if you
film in June, contracts haven't gotten in front of me

(55:54):
at all? Right, I will say this, Um, I would
love to go back. I think it's a really fun
show to do. My ego got beaten down a little
bit last season because I wasn't on it a lot,
which is totally understandable because there was a lot going on.
It was a really heavy, good season. Um, So that

(56:17):
hurt a little bit, being like I did a lot
of work and like nothing was there. But I would
love to go back. It's so much fun to see
that all that stuff, Like you've been there, You've been
there a couple of times as if. I like, it's
so fun to witness all of it. Um, it's really
nice to meet everybody. But who knows what's gonna happen?
How would you feel about going back to a paradise

(56:38):
that wasn't a Lan's That's a really that's a really
good question. I feel like a lot of people probably
don't understand, but I think a lot of fans, like
if they're hardcore fans, they are interested because I think
Alan is kind of like the behind the scenes face
of it, and it was his concept. Really, So here's
the thing that like a lot of people don't understand.

(56:59):
But Alan is in executive producer of The Bachelor. He
was executive producer of The Batchlery. He's no longer with
the franchise, but he was my producer and he was
your producer as well, which is interesting because you and
I were on the show together and romantically involved. Um A.
Lawn is probably the smartest guy I've ever met. He's

(57:21):
probably also the funniest guy I've ever met. Also the
person that knows people in their minds, possibly better than
they know their own minds. He's just really good at
reading people and and figuring out how to talk to them.
He's a really good psychiatrist. Like if you've ever watched

(57:42):
The Bachelor, of the bachelorette. When someone's driving away and
they're crying, there's a really good chance a lawn was
the guy that was talking to them at that moment,
And if they don't seem too affected, it probably wasn't. Yeah, yeah,
if they don't like me. When I was driving a
way in mind, I wasn't crying. That's mean. I never

(58:04):
cried in the show, which is so funny because I
cry all the time. But then after after I was
done doing what I did, along got in the car
and then we talked and I cried. I was like, dude, dude,
take the tape out, let's just talk real for a while.
And I cried. Um. This is the last thing I'll
say about the show that Paradise is supposed to be
a comedy, and that's what's great about that show. I

(58:26):
would say that the thing that I that annoys me
the most about The Bats of the Bat Threat is
it takes itself way too seriously, much more seriously than
it probably should be taken. Because at the end of
the day, life is funny, but it's a very serious show.
Paradise opens up with guess what, this is silly, and
just so you know, it here's a guy that's getting

(58:49):
destroyed by a wave or something. You know, like, so
you know, off the off the that it's silly, but
then amazing, wonderful, beautiful things happened, and that's how life works.
That's how I feel like, that's how a law is.
And the fact that he's not going to be involved
makes me worried about that show. And that's not to

(59:10):
say that the show will not continue to be funny
and amazing and people won't fall in love. But let's
be real, dude, that dude that was his baby, and
that show is great because that man is great. That's
my thought on that, and I'm not going to elaborate
because that was perfect. Okay. Cool. You set your friend

(59:31):
Derek up with your co host Stephanie Pratt, and it's
really awkward to talk in front there right there. But
now that you're in a serious relationship, you've been miss
therea for about a year and a half, now do
you feel like it's just so much fun to set
your friends up because you just don't have to set
yourself up Because I feel like I'm always trying to
find people from my friends now it's a it's so

(59:53):
much pressure right. I actually hate this idea of setting
your friends up with people because it can only mean
that someone's gonna either it's great and they get married
and have children. That very rarely happens. A lot of
times it doesn't work out, and then you're the problem
because you're the one who created that. You were the

(01:00:14):
catalyst for the problem. Um, Stephanie. Stephanie is a beautiful, wonderful,
smart woman. Um, the problem is that she has been
in relationships with people who are for lack of a
better term, pieces of they don't have any money, they're
mooching offer and we can all kind of we can't all,

(01:00:36):
but like we can relate to that. So I was like,
who are my friends who have like got it together?
Derek is one is a great looking guy, he's smart. Um,
he's been in the public eye, so like this is
something that would like freak him out, which is that's
the thing that people don't ever bring into the realm

(01:00:58):
of possibilities of Like this is too much. I can't
handle hanging out with someone who is always being asked
for pictures and taking to them that this is the
thing that people don't understand. And then also Derek uh
it's like finance guy in New York, Like he doesn't
he's not worried about like money and all that kind
of stuff, So he's not concerned with like mooching off

(01:01:21):
of her and like surfing every day in Malibu. You know.
So when the thought of who should she date for this,
Derek came to mind, just because Derek is the antie
of every dude she's ever dated, and that was the thought,
how do you think it's going? I know, the first
date went really well, even though we had a precarious situation.

(01:01:44):
Can you explain this because I just realized I forgot
to ask Derek about this um tardiness that happened. So like, okay,
well set up the two of them and then their
first day. So it's interesting because Stephanie showed up an
hour and a halfway explain why I want to get

(01:02:05):
really close to the microphones. So everyone, here's what I
have to say. So, um, so, Darren lives in New York,
steph lives in Los Angeles. Right, we fly Derek out
for this, so right off the bat kind of an issue.
There were some logistics just getting his ass out here

(01:02:25):
comes out here because he loves his nine to five.
As we just learned, he loves it right, doesn't want
to stray. He wants we set up like a breakfast date.
I think was originally we set up a breakfast and
then step was like, I'm flying in from Hawaii. We
gotta push it back a little bit. So when it

(01:02:45):
was a brunch, she's also really nothing romantic about our
breakfast date unless you brown brown out the night beforehand,
then it's a super totally agree. So she was like, hey,
let's let's kick it to a brunch date, which we're like, okay,
totally fine. So we send Derek to the brunch date.

(01:03:08):
Of course, myself and Amy are on a text change
with Derek. Derek's like, god, here, I don't know where
she is going to order a mimosa or something. People
might be confused right now, you guys set this up
and like flew him out because it was kind of
an experiment for the podcast. Yeah, because she she's had

(01:03:29):
problems dating and I was the prad cast. Yeah, yeah,
thank you for plugging my podcast. And when does it
usually air? Every every Monday? Every Monday? You're just you're
just here with almost famous in the Monday Group. Yeah, mondays,
So he's like texting us to be like, hey, this
guy here waiting for We're like, great, she'll be there's

(01:03:52):
no joke. An hour goes by, and so then I'm
terrified because my good friend who's flying out from New
York to go in the state that with a woman
he's never met, hasn't showed up. So Sarah and I,
my girlfriend and I are walking around a uh farmers market,
and I'm like, Sarah, I don't know, she hasn't heart up,

(01:04:13):
and she's like what, no way. He flew from New York.
So it's like a thing now. So we're like, oh
my god. So I'm texting Amy, I'm texting Derek being like,
don't worry, it's gonna be fine. She's just a little late.
So then we get a text message from Steph that says,
oh my god, it's twelve forty four. No, oh my god,
it says it's twelve forty four on my phone. What

(01:04:34):
time is it? And then Amy ripped immediately responds with
it's twelve forty four. You're already late to this. Yeah,
she was, what are you talking about? So what happened
was this is what she says, you should probably bring
her on to talk about it. But apparently in Hawaii

(01:04:56):
there is no time change in terms of UH daily savings.
But apparently Steph doesn't look at her phone because it
happens naturally. This is a week after time change. This
is this is ended that morning. No, thank you. Clarify
she did land that morning, but the time had changed

(01:05:17):
a week trying to make it a better story. No, continue,
she had landed that morning and was going home and
then to the date, but the time had changed a
week earlier. I like telling it. Stephanie's down there, but
let's just tell it without her. They can listen to
the prat cast. If they should just be Mike, they
should be mic job right now on their second day,

(01:05:38):
which is happening to the other by the way, they're
sitting next to each other, super kid, and I keep
looking under the table to see if they're holding hands.
There's been some touching, yeah, but tune into the prat
cast for more on that. So anyways, she shows up
like an hour and a half late. By this time,
Derek's wasted because he's been sitting around. He's been texting
me being like what do I do? And I'm like
I just ordinary drank, dude, I don't know how to

(01:05:58):
tell you. And there was a time, there was a
there was a serious moment in time where we were
both like, dude, five minutes and then go don't worry
about it, like we feel bad. And then she showed
up and then they had the most amazing time ever.
So much show that we had to like make a
whole another show, the sidebar test between Wells and me

(01:06:20):
for like the shocked face emoji just constantly like she's
so late, shocked face head exploding. Um, they're having a
blast and making out shocked face head exploding. They made out.
So it was on Patty's Day, so she was wearing
green lipstick. Then there's pictures, there's receipts of him just
having so much green all over his face. It was

(01:06:42):
amazing St. Patrick's Day, first date. I no wonder why
it was drunk. Okay, we have to move on to
they start and Derek and Steff. They're cute though, they
are very cute. Um, so if you wanted to not
just set up your friends, but set up some Bachelor contestants,
we have an email from Sarah about Bachelor in Paradise
pairings she says, I want some of the good and

(01:07:02):
maybe slightly forgotten favorites to make a comeback on Bachelor
in Paradise. Let's talk Hayley, Ferguson and Wills. Or let's
bring back Mark hill Martin. Maybe he will be the
key to Tastia's heart. Or what about Brian Osborne who
stole the heart of Sole my heart Andy season. I'm
not familiar with him at all. Do you have any

(01:07:24):
memory familiar? Yeah? Yeah, I hung out with him maybe twice.
Very nice guy the first two I like, I love
going deep into the history for Paradise and bringing back oldies,
but goodies. They keep it really fresh and current. But
I'm like, go back, bring back some some yester years.
Who's somebody that hasn't found someone? I feel like when

(01:07:45):
I go back to all the memorable girls in recent
like past six years Bachelor history, almost all the girls
are taken. Now. My thing is there are people who
go on the show and are not really emotionally available.
I think that's what I loved about you is because
you were very honest about like wanting to find somebody.

(01:08:08):
I think that's very rare, and that's what's silly about
that show is because everyone's suppostion supposed to be very
emotionally available. Like what if Vienna showed up, Well, I
would be fantastic. I used to stick up for Danielle,
my friend. Yeah, Danielle definitely. She just wants to Danielle. Yeah,
she just wants to get merried and and and she's

(01:08:31):
so smart and beautiful and like has her own career
aside from like Instagram all that kind of stuff. That's one.
Those are the types of people that like letters all
the time about Roberto. Yeah, Roberto would be good too,
but this is a little bit before well Roberto, and
he was a charmer and very local, but like, but like,

(01:08:53):
is he like a guy that's willing to go back
on the show six or seven thirty four? I heard
rumors he was, but then I asked him to come
on this podcast and he respectfully told me no, he's
got a girlfriend. Remember, I think he has a girlfriend.

(01:09:14):
I don't want to say how I know that, but
I have it on pretty good intel. I think he
has a girlfriend. How old do you think he's too
old to go on The Bachelor? Amy says forty nine.
I think you're going to start feeling left out at
around thirty seven. This is the terrible thing to say,
but it's the absolute truth and whatever. You guys can

(01:09:35):
drag me for it. But for women, probably thirty two
and exactly and probably for guys forty forty got a
four year old man? Have you ever seen the show? Well?
Nick was thirties six when he was the Bachelor, so
he was getting close. And guess what would you be

(01:09:58):
your friends with Nick? I'm just an I love him.
Would you be completely shocked if Nick was on Paradise?
Want him to be he? Would you just leaning all
the way? Would you be this is my question to
you on your show? Would you be shocked if Nick
shows up in Paradise? If he walks down those steps
at thirty I don't even know thirty he's gonna be third?

(01:10:18):
Is he gonna be thirty nine? What about Timber? Would
you be shocked if he did it? Um? Maybe this season? Yeah,
but not next? Okay, so that's even worse. Amanda Stanton
showing up she's on I'm all know, but she's been
on twice, but I'm all for it. I've been on
three times and I would be down. So in Bachelor News,

(01:10:40):
it seems as if Amanda and her boyfriend Bobby of
a year had broken up. But I just read something
that they were so good about a house. I read
an e News article on Wednesday or something that they
seems to have fallen apart because he actually acknowledged it.
I read quotes that he gave or respond on Instagram

(01:11:01):
that he'll always be there for the girls, and I
was like, well, that seems like it's true. What about
Nick and DEMI? I think it could be for real.
It's a thing ash on him a little bit. Show
definitely has a crush on him. But would Nick go
for a DEMI? Would Nick date another girl from the franchise?

(01:11:24):
That's a good question. I think he wouldn't have like
two years ago, and I think he may now. I
think that Nick's just looking for someone to challenge him,
and I think that that's someone that will challenge him,
and the thought of doing that show again with a

(01:11:44):
finish line and knowing that that's something that could be
a possibility will entice him a little bit. I haven't
talked to him about this at all, but it's just
tice him to have a finish line because he actually
does want something serious yeah, and being like I'll go
I'll go to Paradise. DEMI someone I mento, she's into me?
What if Ben ben Planic remember that guy? See I

(01:12:07):
thank you? Actually, I'd love to go deep. Let's let's
get a couple of these in there, being here in
Napa Valley. You know, we could have texted Ben Planic
Mary Mary with a lot of kids. What is Jesse
Palmer's story? Jesse Palmer is doing well for himself. He's
got like no, he's got a couple of shows out there,

(01:12:29):
then a lot of models probably all right. My last
question for Wells is going to come from a game
that we played in the car on the way here.
So we were like playing popcorn questions or whatever, and
we were like all asking each other about relationships, whether
it was like for single people or for like the
Bury Together couples. And you're in a Berry Together couple.
So you asked me and Jared he said, what are like,

(01:12:53):
what are basically something that you guys probably will never
see eyed eye on? Or like what do you think
your biggest issue is or what's your greatest annoyance? That
was what I asked. Was then we made it a
little bit deeper because little annoyances like clearing your throat
is not a big deal. Which is a funny answer though,
So you can choose. You can choose your question. But

(01:13:14):
when in your relationship with Sarah, which you know, I
understand if you want to keep it more private, But
what's your biggest annoyance or what is something that you
guys will never you just agree to disagree on. There's
a good question. And what would she say about you? Two?
We got into a big fight. It wasn't a big fight,
but we got into a fight about whether or not

(01:13:37):
you burn more calories doing cardio in comparison to weightlifting.
And I was like, you burned him so much more
calories doing cardio and she was like, well, and then
we started looking it up and when you start going
into the internet, there are things going both ways. What
I loved about the argument that we have, uh there

(01:13:59):
was no right or wrong answer. And we both yelled
at each other. It was so stupid and so much
it was laughing yelling at it actually got like he
did well. I just wasn't gonna like pull back from
like of course cardio burns more, cardio burns more like
fast in the moment, but it doesn't like throughout the day.

(01:14:22):
I think that's exactly what she said, This is so funny,
this is amazing about this, and I was like, no,
that's stupid. And then we looked it up and she
was right, like, you guys are right, but I also
I was right. There there's no right answer to like
it was so silly that she walked out of the
room because I was being me, which is very like
I'm right when i'm think i'm right, I'm then so

(01:14:46):
she walked away, and then when she came back in, um,
I was like on my phone, and I think she
thought I was like scrolling through Instagram and I was
like scrolling through articles about this exact thing, and I
was like, okay, so and I saw I don't know
this is what this part of the podcast is about,
but I think this is what's important. Was that I

(01:15:09):
realized that I wasn't right, but I wasn't wrong, but
I knew that what I had done was not the
greatest thing in the world. So I was like, so,
I've been reading about this, and I think you're probably right.
I think I'm a little bit right too, but I
think that you're right. I think that no one's right,
and and then so she started laughing and being like,

(01:15:30):
you're still doing this. I thought you were just extroly interesting.
I was like no, no, no no, no no. I was
like trying to I was trying to make myself right.
But then I realized in my research that I was
not right. And I think it's a good thing to
have an open mind about being a dip. I think
it's important to remember that we're all dip and I

(01:15:52):
was wrong, even though I don't know what I was wrong,
but I wasn't right. I wasn't right in the middle. Yeah,
And those are the arguments that like they really get
to because you just kind of can't drop it. You
just can't drop it because like if both of you
a personal right. One time I had nas. We were
ordering Joe's pizza and it was we were like, is

(01:16:15):
this the Joe's pizza from New York? And I was like, there's,
you know, the Joe's pizza, the one like on Sex
in the City and that like everybody talks about. So
there's no way that this is the Joe's pizza. No way,
And she was like it is. They came to l
A and they put one here. I'm like, you're wrong,
and then she actually ended up calling the Joe's Pizza

(01:16:35):
and they go, we used to be owned by that
company that the original guy that he was, like the
guy that started this one was not Joe, but like
Joe's like cousin or something that stole the recipe and
started it. Here he goes, so technically we have like
the same recipe, but we're not Joe, Like, okay, well

(01:16:56):
we are exactly both half right. Do you know what's
funny about both the stories? They're both the dumbest stories,
like they're not real arguments. But I think it's I
think it's fun um. I think it's it's a really
hard thing to do. Like I'm not doing relationship stuff,
but I think it's a really hard thing to do
when you realize that, like it's still so dumb what

(01:17:18):
you're doing, and you just like let it go. Because
after Sarah and I was like a stupid thing about
Carter Sarah and my whatever thanks mom where Ben goes
wrong every week? I said what I said, and then
she laughed about it, and then we had like a

(01:17:38):
really like sweet moment of I think when she realized that,
like I conceded and I was being stupid. That was
like a wonderful moment, and I think there was like
the moment everyone's looking for. You know, those are the
bonding moments you break and then you heal even better
together exactly. Yeah, And if you guys do want to
listen to Jared and I talk over our relationship issues,

(01:17:59):
you can listen to the wine Down podcast because I'm
plugging every I heard podcast today. So it's the wind
Down Podcast with Janet Kramer and her husband Mike. And
this is the conclusion of the Almost Famous podcast. I'd
like to say thank you to Third Love. Go to
third love dot com slash famous now to find your
perfect fitting bra and you'll get off your first purchase.

(01:18:21):
Thank you wells. Thank you to my guests Vanessa and
Derek and Venmo, John otherwise known as just John, and
who else, Julian and Blake jesus Um and then also
huge thanks to Napa Valley Wine Train. Definitely a very

(01:18:42):
cool experience, especially if you've never been to the Napa
area before. And thank you to the River Terrace in
for providing us somewhere to stay tonight. Alright, guys, thank
you so much. For joining us. I've been Ashley and
the job you note to do. I also think like
the think Chris Harrison and Ben Higgins and Chris Sults

(01:19:02):
and who else can we think right now? Follow the
Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart
Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts