August 5, 2021 • 29 mins
Ashley sits down for an In Depth conversation with Tayshia Adams as we prepare for Katie's finale!
You’ll learn everything about what makes Tayshia tick as she reveals secrets no one has ever heard before.
Hear the latest on her relationship with Zac and find out if she thinks they can go the distance!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This has been and Ashley I almost Famous in Depth.
Hello everyone, we are joined today by very special guests.
One of my very favorite people in Bachelor Nation, Tasia Adams,
is here for a special Many in Depth podcast. Welcome Tasia. Hi,
how are you. I'm I'm okay. You know, I'm getting through.
(00:26):
I was able. I was able to start these magic
nausea pills this week, which is helping me. Um, okay, yeah,
so we're getting through. But you are seriously like you've
been I don't even know, like how busy you have
been since you you ended up getting engaged to Zach,
(00:46):
which I mind boggle that it's been a year, well
it's been in years since I met him, and then
when your engagement is next month, Yes, it's still like,
that's crazy, guys. I have so many it's like weird.
Jared and I did nothing when we were down there
in Palm Springs except sitting in our hotel room for
(01:07):
five days. But I have really fond memories of just
sitting in the hotel room and like, I don't know,
it's really whimsical. The Taylor Swift Um, oh my god,
folklore just come out so like folklore is like the
soundtrack to that time for me anyway, So let's talk
about you and Zach. How often are you able to
(01:28):
see each other because you go back and forth. You
still buy coastal by definition? By definition? Yes, um, so
you know it's actually it's been a whirlwind, um, just
because I did move to New York on Christmas. It
was Christmas Day, um, yeah, and it was magical. However,
(01:51):
it was still COVID times, so it was not really
the New York that it is now. Um. But then
I left to go film Katie Season and that um
took some time away as well. But since I got
back to Katie Season, I was actually in New York
for a solid two months. I didn't even want to
go home to Orange County, so I could really give
it a shot, and I just fell in love with
the city. Zack and I had a chance to actually
(02:14):
date and um just create so many new memories and
I feel like our relationship really started then, to be
honest with you, um, because it was at that point
that we were able to go out and I don't know,
just go out in the middle of the night and
go walk the park and just like do weird things
that like we have been dying to do. So we
do see each other. He was just here UM with
(02:36):
me on my travel adventures if you want to, I
don't know, UM, but we see each other often. Do
you feel like the missing is that the distance makes
the heart grow fonder or are you like no, I'm
like pretty ready to just live like normally with him
on a day to day basis. You know what, Um,
(02:57):
distance does make the heart grow fonder. But I'm like
good with it for like two three weeks and then
I'm like, Okay, I'm like ready to bounce. Um. But
the good thing is because I don't really see this
being like I've been traveling quite a bit this year.
I don't really see this being my life, you know,
every year for the rest of my life. I think
(03:17):
that this is just kind of like what's going to
happen right now until I kind of set some boundaries
and my foundation and what I want to do, and
hopefully I can just live in New York full time.
That's the plan. Nice. Yeah, So we like to, like
with the In Depth podcast, go really deep back like
to your childhood and talk about how like that kind
(03:37):
of started shaping you. So you have a sister and
a brother, am I missing one? Yes, two brothers and sister.
Two brothers, one sister. And your parents are still together.
They've been married for how long, like thirty two, thirty
three years something like that, So even together since high school.
Oh that's so cute. So describe like what you're childhood
(04:00):
was like in Orange County, um, and how your parents
kind of served as relationship role models for you if
they did. Yeah, so life in Orange County. Um, well,
my parents were both very young. Um, obviously they had me.
My dad was nineteen, my mom was one. So are
(04:22):
you the oldest? Yeah, okay, yeah, So I will say
that my upbringing was very different than my siblings. Um.
My parents and I were and are very close, and
I think that, you know, it kind of came with
its disadvantages having my parents be so young at times,
just because um they were growing up to and um
(04:45):
my dad was very strict, um, and I couldn't really
do too many things. I feel like I was always grounded,
and I feel like, um, I don't know, just them
working as many jobs they did, um to try to
provide like the life that I had, you know, being
in private school, it costs a lot and so I
(05:07):
remember my dad when I was growing up, like I
was working like two three jobs at a time. Um yeah,
and so um with that with more and more siblings,
Like I just remember like watching my siblings growing up
and and um really just being like the caretaker of them,
especially during the summer. And um, life was different. Life
(05:31):
was really different. I will tell you my dad and
my mom were way different parents to my little sister
than they were to me. Like I was always the
one getting in trouble and um, having to do all
the chores around my house, Like my sister could do
whatever the heck she wanted to do. I was like,
this is not fair. Um, but I think it shaved
me to be the woman that I am today and
like be very independent but also a go getter. And um,
(05:56):
I don't know if your dad was strict, Like how
was your high school life? How is dating in high school?
Did you get any of that? No? I didn't, day
I think my my first okay, so my first kiss
was my senior of high school. That makes me feel
better because mine was my freshman year of college. Okay. Yeah,
so and that was so weird in itself, like I
(06:19):
instigated it. I don't think anybody knows this story. But
it was, um like a Sadie Hawkins dance, and but
I didn't even get to go to the dance. I
actually saw my friends after the fact. So I never
went to any high school dances, but are way more
dangerious the actual dance. Yeah. So I was supposed to
(06:44):
be going to my girlfriend's house whatever, which I was,
and then they all kind of came to my girlfriend's
house and that's when I kind of like I got
to hang out with people, but I did I talked
to guys. No, I didn't. I was so shy. I
went in all girls high school too, so that doesn't
really help. But um, yeah, I was kind of, I
don't know, just kind of an introvert and kind of shy.
(07:07):
So then you met your first husband when you were
in college, right, correct, So yeah, sophomore year of college.
Um again, I went to a small private school and um,
I don't know, I didn't really date anybody until him.
I think he's the first person that I kind of
(07:28):
like created a relationship with. I didn't introduce him to
my parents until six months after dating him, and even then,
when I introduced him to my dad and my dad
didn't even look him in the face. He just kind
of shook his hand and walked away. And it was rough.
It was very wrong. Um. But luckily, you know, my
parents obviously had a warm up to him. And yeah,
(07:50):
it just kind of that lasted for a long time.
How long were you guys together, Um, six and a
half years total? Wow? So do I remember this correctly?
That you stayed a virgin until you were married? Yeah,
you are right, You are correct. And what made you
make that decision? Um? Probably my dad instilling the fear
(08:18):
of God and to me, you know what I mean again,
he was so strict that you should have really loved
and appreciated that, you would think so. But you know,
also I grew up, um, you know, in a religious household,
and since kindergarten I've gone to private school. So I
(08:41):
think that that was always kind of like taught to us.
You know, sex is saved for marriage, and it's always
been in the back of my mind, But it was
more so for me getting into college. I think I
was maybe I was scared. Yeah, same here, Yeah, I
was definitely. It was like it was part like, oh,
I want to save this for myself and I'm a
little scared. Yeah, yeah, and you and you want to
(09:05):
always hold like that value for yourself, and like I
feel like it was this weird feeling of like once
you gave that away, like you would kind of feel
like I don't know, Um, I get it like cherished
or valuable, you know what I mean. And I think
that that's what kind of like what private school kind
of does and what ye did your did your husband
(09:31):
was he cool with that? Like how was that wait
for him? Um? Yes? And no, I think yes, he
accepted me for who I was when I obviously he
first met me, and that was a value that I
held very dear to my heart and I think he
loved me for that. Um. But I think it definitely
was a challenge, um quite a bit, you know, in
(09:54):
that relationship especially, but it made it kind of easier
just because we were long distance two for three years,
so in a way, um, holding back was was okay.
(10:17):
So let's fast forward a little bit too, you know,
you meeting Zach and it kind of comes full circle
when you say young love is so much different than
adult love because at the altar, you know, on The Bachelor,
you say like this is like truly the first time
I've really ever loved loved a person like this? Yeah,
can you can you make can you make a distinction
(10:37):
between can you describe young love versus the adult love feeling? Yeah?
I think it's funny like when you're when you have
your first boyfriend, you're like, oh, I'm gonna marry him,
like he's he's like everything. Like you kind of grow
with that relationship, but also you become that relationship when
(10:58):
it's when you're so young, you know what I mean,
Like you grow together. You your identity is not you've
been single for thirty years. You know what you want.
Your career is this way, this, that, and that person
is coming in to compliment you. Um. It's kind of
more like you go together like as a tree and
you create your own branches. I think when you're young. Um,
(11:21):
And I think that that's kind of like what I
was starting to suffer from was that in my past
relationship was that that relationship was me, And even when
I got a divorce, I didn't know what the heck
I wanted anymore. I didn't even know who the heck
I was. I didn't have anything to my own name,
and so that really scared me and so when I
did find Zach, it was really important to me, and
(11:41):
that's why I told him since night wan like, I
want a partnership. I want to build an empire. I
want to be able to do my thing and you
do yours and we kind of come together and lift
each other up. Um. And it wasn't until then that
I found someone that also had the ambition to, you know,
create a life for himself, but wanted someone to compliment it.
(12:02):
And so when I said that, it was like this
love of um, really accepting a person for who they
are and whatever they have going you have to kind
of like, okay, I'm okay with that, not trying to
conform and trying to change them, um, and with him
(12:28):
like I was. Actually, it's so weird because I don't
think people understand like how you can fall into love
with someone so quickly and as hard as you do.
But I was very scared to lose it, you know,
I was. I was like obsessed with watching you guys
fall in love, So I mean I felt it all
through the screen. You guys. On the first night you met,
(12:52):
you made a wish into the wishing well and you
just put coins back into it. A year later. Um,
but you said that you were going to tell each
other one day what you wished for initially? Is that correct? Yes? Okay,
so did you tell each other on the year anniversary.
We actually talked about it, um, kind of when we
(13:15):
came back together after me filming Katie's season, Like we
kind of I think after that it was kind of
like we needed, um, we need to remember why we
were with each other. And I think that that's that's
absolutely normal, and I think that that's it's hard to
beat a new relationship and then kind of go away
for a couple of weeks, you know, I mean, um,
(13:38):
And this is me being real and honest. I don't
even think, you know, people don't need to know our story,
but like, I think it's people need to know that
even though when two people are like heavily in love,
you still go through things like okay, we need to
remember where we came from. Um, But we kind of
reminisced and figured out why we gotten this in the
(14:01):
first place. And I think that we kind of shared
our story then with each other. And it's very cute
because essentially I'm not going to say it because I
think we kind of want to hold out on it.
They were very similar that, yeah, it was. It was
really it's ironic, like meant to be, you know, that's
so cute. I also just like this is so random.
(14:25):
I have a question that is associated with it. Really,
but like I loved his family on on his on
the show. There was just so much warmth from them,
like it was it was a hometown that like, it's
just so memorable because of the people on it. And
I feel like you said that that was kind of
when you fell in love with him, right, That's when
you knew it was him. Was when you met the family. Yeah,
(14:49):
I mean there were so many like reasons why that night,
but it's just he was so excited to entr reduced
me to his family, and I was so freaking nervous,
and he's just like, they're gonna love you. It's gonna
be fine, and um, he just started crying like once
(15:10):
he saw his family, just because I think that in
that moment, they both he knew that they knew that
he was really happy because he came in like smiling,
and I guess like that wasn't something he was doing
very often before he had met me. So they had
kept saying like something's different, and um, I think that's
(15:30):
when he knew, like, okay, yeah, like this is a
good relationship for me. But also I do remember Zach
saying because he was gonna go talk to his mom
I think or his dad, I don't remember who, and
then I was going to talk to the other parent
and then he just like yelled right before he went
out the door, like you can tell her and ask
her anything. She knows everything, like nothing's off limits. And
(15:54):
so with that, I just was like that was so
reassuring to me, Like he the person that he's telling
me he is, and like I can actually pick his
parents brain and like they shouldn't be hesitant to tell
me anything. You know. That's great. That is such a
good sign. And you guys, you actually said that night
(16:15):
one you like didn't have this love at first sight feeling.
Did you have a front runner on night one or
a couple that you like weren't that? Yeah, that wasn't
sack that you feel okay with like revealing I feel like,
oh my god, I feel like okay. So Jared and
I were the first group date, so you went out
(16:37):
with Brendan and then we were like the second date
that you had and the producers told us like mentioned
so and so, and I think it was Ben and
it may have been Zack. I think there were two
like one syllable names, but yeah, to describe like who
was who we were thinking of after night one? Yeah, yeah,
(16:58):
there were there were a couple of them. Um. I
think obviously, like first impression wise, I gave my rose
to Spencer and I think that's just because like he
reminded me and probably if someone I dated in the
past and like I got that, you have to remember,
like I didn't get the whole limo things with everybody
I walked into a room, and so he was the
first person that actually came out of limo for me.
(17:19):
And that's kind of when I was like, and I
think maybe it was like the realization like oh my god,
him the bachelor atte but also he was like very attractive,
So that was someone I was like at first, I
caught my eye more of a Cinderella moment, like kind
of like you more so imagined your night one exactly
and um, but yeah, you are right. Um, Ben was
(17:41):
someone that kind of stuck out to me night one
very easily. I don't know, Yeah, what it was, but
he was definitely someone I was attracted to. Um, let's
see who else was there, And I think Brendan was
also someone that he was my first one on one,
So obviously he was someone that like I was talking
(18:01):
to and I felt like there was a lot of
similarity in chemistry there. So that's why he got my
first one on one. But I do remember talking to
Zach obviously and having that wish with him. It was
very special and it was different than what a lot
of the guys because not really anybody had any like
(18:23):
kind of gimmicks at night, and so it was just
a quick, little simple thing that kind of just like
made it fun. Yeah. Alright, so let's go from your
experience as a bachelorette to you going from that to
(18:46):
six months later guiding somebody else's journey through it. How
did you feel? How how was that being a mentor
and especially so soon after you went through it, Um,
and you're gonna you're doing it again? Like and what? Yeah, Okay,
Well let's catcher that first and then I have a
follow up. Okay. Um, First of all, it was an
(19:09):
amazing phone call. Again, first I was like, you're sure
you're calling me right, Like I don't. I was really confused.
That's like when they called you when you're there, like yeah,
Claire's leaving and you're like, uh what you know, Like
I really need to stop answering you guys phone calls.
Like it's been it's like a running joke now that
I really need to stop answering their phone calls. Um,
(19:30):
because my life changes drastically after I get them. But um,
I just have to say, like I was so excited
to be there for Katie because I remember just like
the feelings that I had was like I just want
to talk to some like a girlfriend and as much
as you have that with like your producers and like,
because they are kind of like my family at this point.
It's it's so different talking to like a girlfriend so
(19:54):
freely and being like, oh my god, like I was
such a good kisser. But like also I hated the
way like pants fit and you know what I mean.
Like it's just like how girls talk a certain amount
of trust to like I think a moment where I
thought it was very important or like comforting that it
was you guys there and not you're a standard host
(20:14):
or a producer. Was this past Monday's episode when Caitlin
came and knocked on the door to talk about Greg's departure,
and you just felt more like security there. You're like,
you're not going to use my conversation right now to
be part of the show. Like I really think that
you care about me. Yeah, It's just there's there are
(20:37):
times where we're like, okay, screw the camera's like, tell
me how you are feeling right now. And I think
just with that, you're like, Okay, I am a real person.
They are real people. I really am trying. You know.
It just makes the the show of it all become
like more of a reality, you know, and takes away
(20:57):
what you think you have to be like. And I think, um,
Katy really needed that, and I think that all bachelors
really need that. It's it's such a weird situation, you
know what I mean, just because you always have people
looking at you, You're watching, You're having people watch you
make out, fall in love and and cry and go
through all of these waves of emotions to the point
(21:19):
where you almost kind of feel like you're kind of
going crazy, you know, like in the morning you're extremely happy,
and then at night you're going through a breakup and
you're extremely depressed, and it's just kind of like you
get up on your horse and you do it the
next day. For me, I'm not gonna lie it because
it was so close to like my season. I feel
like I kind of was in my fields a lot
(21:40):
of the journey. Like I would even text back and
be like like, I'm thinking of us through this thing,
Like I'm thinking how you kind of stressed out, like
going on a date, or like how I was feeling.
And it was tough for me. I was crying a lot. Interesting,
but yeah, it brings back even when you're on set,
doesn't matter whether like you're even relating to the storyline
(22:03):
going on, just like being around that energy and those
same people, it brings back a whole bunch of nostalgia. Yeah,
it's it was difficult to get through, but I think that, Um,
I just knew that I would have wished I had
the same mentors. So I was just trying to be
there as much as I can, you know, for her, um,
(22:24):
and I think it's an amazing thing to have for
the Bachelor. How would it have been if Caitlyn wasn't
there with you? Um? You know, it's It's so funny
because I feel like our experiences were Caitlyn and I
experiences were so different but also so similar. Like she
(22:45):
started with another girl as well in her season. Um, yeah,
I came out, Yeah, and I, you know, Claire is
there before me, and then I kind of walked into something. Um,
Caitlin and I, you know, I had kind of like
a rough batchel with our our first Bachelor's if you will,
(23:06):
and like, I don't know, we just like really relate.
And so even her and I were able to talk
about our experiences and try to figure out how we
can help you know, the bachelorrette. Um, I don't know,
if I could, I don't know. Give, I don't know.
I think we both compliment each other very well. She
went through a really emotional time on it, right because
(23:26):
she was reminiscing a lot about her passes. Yeah, and again,
I don't think people understand that, yes, we are creating
a show, but it's very much so our life, Like
our our feelings aren't fake, Like there's no way they
can be. Like you're still living through it, You're still
(23:49):
you know, intimately involved with these human beings like you
obviously are giving a part of yourself like, so it's
very real and it's um, it's difficult. We only have
a few more minutes, but I got to talk about
the ending of this episode this week with Greg leaving, UM,
we had a psychoy. We had a psychiatrist on the
podcast talking about what she thinks happened, and actually she
(24:13):
she emailed us today a very long explanation that she
had after watching it thoroughly through, which was different than
my initial impression, which was that it was I thought
he was gaslighting her, like crazy, what was your impression?
I mean, it's tough. I think that Greg was just
(24:33):
really hurt. I thought that he wasn't validated in some
of the ways that he was treating her, obviously, but
I think he like genuinely really loved her and he
just wanted that validation. You are way more right, according
to our psychiatrist than I was. She said that a
lot of it has to do with the trauma that
(24:54):
he's gone through with his dad, and he kind of
had a moment of regression to just not being able
to be loved back the way that he expected to
be loved back. So I'll get We'll get into this
again on like our regular podcast on Monday. But I
just wanted to get your perspective on that, and then like,
(25:15):
what the heck is going to happen with Monday's episode?
Like my feel like you know, like you know, and
I am sitting here with my best guess being that
she either goes after Greg tries to make that work,
or just says like I'm truly leaving, like I'm actually
going to book my ticket home because I don't feel
(25:38):
like I can say yes to either two of two
of the moths that are left. Let's just say. I mean,
as we've seen already, Katie is a very strong individual
and she knows what she wants and once she makes
up her mind, um like, she doesn't vulture on that.
(26:01):
So you're seeing her really at her her lowest. Um. Honestly,
the next episode, I die, I can't handle it. I
watched it back and I was like, you're breaking getting me,
Like I still can't believe it. Twist and did you
know everything that went down or were there things that
(26:22):
went down that you didn't even know? No, and no,
like I actually wasn't. I don't even I don't think
I was on property when this um when Caitlin was
with her um this past episode. So when I got
on and I like heard what happened, I was like,
I'm sorry why, Like it took me a little bit
(26:44):
to actually figure out what was going on. And this girl,
she's a strong one, but I'm telling you her her
strength as a very much. So that was a fantastic
tea Asia. So now that you're you're on your are
you on set of Michelle's season? Now? I don't know
(27:06):
if I can say that, but technically I can, so yeah. So, um,
as far as what you learn from hosting mentoring Katie's season,
what are you going to do differently? Anything you'll you'll
apply in a different way, I think, you know. I
think it's so funny. Caitlin and I were talking about this,
like we were giving an advice to Michelle, and I'm like,
(27:27):
I feel like I've already said this, Like I feel
like I'm just repeating myself. But the thing is, we
are and we aren't. We all feel the same things
like going through this experience, um, which is why like
we're able to relate, you know what I mean? But
everybody is very different. I think Michelle is a very
different woman than Katie is, and so honestly, the twist
(27:51):
and turns that are gonna happen here are gonna be
very different from Katie, and so we just kind of
go at the flow. I don't know how it's going
to be different, but I'm telling you right now, it's already.
And oh my gosh. So Tasha Adams, everyone, you're fantastic.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your
exhausting days and all the interviews you have to do
to be with us. You are the greatest. Thank you.
(28:15):
I'm so happy to see you, and honestly, like I
said before, I'm so freaking excited for you. Thank hell. Wait,
one of our favorite memories from the day that we
announced was you and Caitlin calling us and you being
so emotional. That was just the sweetest thing. Like seriously,
I had that screenshot a picture of you guys, and
(28:37):
it's the cutest thing. It makes me like very grateful
again for all the experiences and the people that we've
met through this process. We're all going through it in
a different way, but like it's we we have like this,
we have this bond, so it's exciting. But yeah, glad
we were able to do this. I appreciate you. Appreciate you.
Bye j Bye Fall The Benn and Ashley I Almost
(29:01):
Famous podcasts on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you
listen to podcasts.
This has been and Ashley I almost Famous in Depth.
Hello everyone, we are joined today by very special guests.
One of my very favorite people in Bachelor Nation, Tasia Adams,
is here for a special Many in Depth podcast. Welcome Tasia. Hi,
how are you. I'm I'm okay. You know, I'm getting through.
(00:26):
I was able. I was able to start these magic
nausea pills this week, which is helping me. Um, okay, yeah,
so we're getting through. But you are seriously like you've
been I don't even know, like how busy you have
been since you you ended up getting engaged to Zach,
(00:46):
which I mind boggle that it's been a year, well
it's been in years since I met him, and then
when your engagement is next month, Yes, it's still like,
that's crazy, guys. I have so many it's like weird.
Jared and I did nothing when we were down there
in Palm Springs except sitting in our hotel room for
(01:07):
five days. But I have really fond memories of just
sitting in the hotel room and like, I don't know,
it's really whimsical. The Taylor Swift Um, oh my god,
folklore just come out so like folklore is like the
soundtrack to that time for me anyway, So let's talk
about you and Zach. How often are you able to
(01:28):
see each other because you go back and forth. You
still buy coastal by definition? By definition? Yes, um, so
you know it's actually it's been a whirlwind, um, just
because I did move to New York on Christmas. It
was Christmas Day, um, yeah, and it was magical. However,
(01:51):
it was still COVID times, so it was not really
the New York that it is now. Um. But then
I left to go film Katie Season and that um
took some time away as well. But since I got
back to Katie Season, I was actually in New York
for a solid two months. I didn't even want to
go home to Orange County, so I could really give
it a shot, and I just fell in love with
the city. Zack and I had a chance to actually
(02:14):
date and um just create so many new memories and
I feel like our relationship really started then, to be
honest with you, um, because it was at that point
that we were able to go out and I don't know,
just go out in the middle of the night and
go walk the park and just like do weird things
that like we have been dying to do. So we
do see each other. He was just here UM with
(02:36):
me on my travel adventures if you want to, I
don't know, UM, but we see each other often. Do
you feel like the missing is that the distance makes
the heart grow fonder or are you like no, I'm
like pretty ready to just live like normally with him
on a day to day basis. You know what, Um,
(02:57):
distance does make the heart grow fonder. But I'm like
good with it for like two three weeks and then
I'm like, Okay, I'm like ready to bounce. Um. But
the good thing is because I don't really see this
being like I've been traveling quite a bit this year.
I don't really see this being my life, you know,
every year for the rest of my life. I think
(03:17):
that this is just kind of like what's going to
happen right now until I kind of set some boundaries
and my foundation and what I want to do, and
hopefully I can just live in New York full time.
That's the plan. Nice. Yeah, So we like to, like
with the In Depth podcast, go really deep back like
to your childhood and talk about how like that kind
(03:37):
of started shaping you. So you have a sister and
a brother, am I missing one? Yes, two brothers and sister.
Two brothers, one sister. And your parents are still together.
They've been married for how long, like thirty two, thirty
three years something like that, So even together since high school.
Oh that's so cute. So describe like what you're childhood
(04:00):
was like in Orange County, um, and how your parents
kind of served as relationship role models for you if
they did. Yeah, so life in Orange County. Um, well,
my parents were both very young. Um, obviously they had me.
My dad was nineteen, my mom was one. So are
(04:22):
you the oldest? Yeah, okay, yeah, So I will say
that my upbringing was very different than my siblings. Um.
My parents and I were and are very close, and
I think that, you know, it kind of came with
its disadvantages having my parents be so young at times,
just because um they were growing up to and um
(04:45):
my dad was very strict, um, and I couldn't really
do too many things. I feel like I was always grounded,
and I feel like, um, I don't know, just them
working as many jobs they did, um to try to
provide like the life that I had, you know, being
in private school, it costs a lot and so I
(05:07):
remember my dad when I was growing up, like I
was working like two three jobs at a time. Um yeah,
and so um with that with more and more siblings,
Like I just remember like watching my siblings growing up
and and um really just being like the caretaker of them,
especially during the summer. And um, life was different. Life
(05:31):
was really different. I will tell you my dad and
my mom were way different parents to my little sister
than they were to me. Like I was always the
one getting in trouble and um, having to do all
the chores around my house, Like my sister could do
whatever the heck she wanted to do. I was like,
this is not fair. Um, but I think it shaved
me to be the woman that I am today and
like be very independent but also a go getter. And um,
(05:56):
I don't know if your dad was strict, Like how
was your high school life? How is dating in high school?
Did you get any of that? No? I didn't, day
I think my my first okay, so my first kiss
was my senior of high school. That makes me feel
better because mine was my freshman year of college. Okay. Yeah,
so and that was so weird in itself, like I
(06:19):
instigated it. I don't think anybody knows this story. But
it was, um like a Sadie Hawkins dance, and but
I didn't even get to go to the dance. I
actually saw my friends after the fact. So I never
went to any high school dances, but are way more
dangerious the actual dance. Yeah. So I was supposed to
(06:44):
be going to my girlfriend's house whatever, which I was,
and then they all kind of came to my girlfriend's
house and that's when I kind of like I got
to hang out with people, but I did I talked
to guys. No, I didn't. I was so shy. I
went in all girls high school too, so that doesn't
really help. But um, yeah, I was kind of, I
don't know, just kind of an introvert and kind of shy.
(07:07):
So then you met your first husband when you were
in college, right, correct, So yeah, sophomore year of college.
Um again, I went to a small private school and um,
I don't know, I didn't really date anybody until him.
I think he's the first person that I kind of
(07:28):
like created a relationship with. I didn't introduce him to
my parents until six months after dating him, and even then,
when I introduced him to my dad and my dad
didn't even look him in the face. He just kind
of shook his hand and walked away. And it was rough.
It was very wrong. Um. But luckily, you know, my
parents obviously had a warm up to him. And yeah,
(07:50):
it just kind of that lasted for a long time.
How long were you guys together, Um, six and a
half years total? Wow? So do I remember this correctly?
That you stayed a virgin until you were married? Yeah,
you are right, You are correct. And what made you
make that decision? Um? Probably my dad instilling the fear
(08:18):
of God and to me, you know what I mean again,
he was so strict that you should have really loved
and appreciated that, you would think so. But you know,
also I grew up, um, you know, in a religious household,
and since kindergarten I've gone to private school. So I
(08:41):
think that that was always kind of like taught to us.
You know, sex is saved for marriage, and it's always
been in the back of my mind, But it was
more so for me getting into college. I think I
was maybe I was scared. Yeah, same here, Yeah, I
was definitely. It was like it was part like, oh,
I want to save this for myself and I'm a
little scared. Yeah, yeah, and you and you want to
(09:05):
always hold like that value for yourself, and like I
feel like it was this weird feeling of like once
you gave that away, like you would kind of feel
like I don't know, Um, I get it like cherished
or valuable, you know what I mean. And I think
that that's what kind of like what private school kind
of does and what ye did your did your husband
(09:31):
was he cool with that? Like how was that wait
for him? Um? Yes? And no, I think yes, he
accepted me for who I was when I obviously he
first met me, and that was a value that I
held very dear to my heart and I think he
loved me for that. Um. But I think it definitely
was a challenge, um quite a bit, you know, in
(09:54):
that relationship especially, but it made it kind of easier
just because we were long distance two for three years,
so in a way, um, holding back was was okay.
(10:17):
So let's fast forward a little bit too, you know,
you meeting Zach and it kind of comes full circle
when you say young love is so much different than
adult love because at the altar, you know, on The Bachelor,
you say like this is like truly the first time
I've really ever loved loved a person like this? Yeah,
can you can you make can you make a distinction
(10:37):
between can you describe young love versus the adult love feeling? Yeah?
I think it's funny like when you're when you have
your first boyfriend, you're like, oh, I'm gonna marry him,
like he's he's like everything. Like you kind of grow
with that relationship, but also you become that relationship when
(10:58):
it's when you're so young, you know what I mean,
Like you grow together. You your identity is not you've
been single for thirty years. You know what you want.
Your career is this way, this, that, and that person
is coming in to compliment you. Um. It's kind of
more like you go together like as a tree and
you create your own branches. I think when you're young. Um,
(11:21):
And I think that that's kind of like what I
was starting to suffer from was that in my past
relationship was that that relationship was me, And even when
I got a divorce, I didn't know what the heck
I wanted anymore. I didn't even know who the heck
I was. I didn't have anything to my own name,
and so that really scared me and so when I
did find Zach, it was really important to me, and
(11:41):
that's why I told him since night wan like, I
want a partnership. I want to build an empire. I
want to be able to do my thing and you
do yours and we kind of come together and lift
each other up. Um. And it wasn't until then that
I found someone that also had the ambition to, you know,
create a life for himself, but wanted someone to compliment it.
(12:02):
And so when I said that, it was like this
love of um, really accepting a person for who they
are and whatever they have going you have to kind
of like, okay, I'm okay with that, not trying to
conform and trying to change them, um, and with him
(12:28):
like I was. Actually, it's so weird because I don't
think people understand like how you can fall into love
with someone so quickly and as hard as you do.
But I was very scared to lose it, you know,
I was. I was like obsessed with watching you guys
fall in love, So I mean I felt it all
through the screen. You guys. On the first night you met,
(12:52):
you made a wish into the wishing well and you
just put coins back into it. A year later. Um,
but you said that you were going to tell each
other one day what you wished for initially? Is that correct? Yes? Okay,
so did you tell each other on the year anniversary.
We actually talked about it, um, kind of when we
(13:15):
came back together after me filming Katie's season, Like we
kind of I think after that it was kind of
like we needed, um, we need to remember why we
were with each other. And I think that that's that's
absolutely normal, and I think that that's it's hard to
beat a new relationship and then kind of go away
for a couple of weeks, you know, I mean, um,
(13:38):
And this is me being real and honest. I don't
even think, you know, people don't need to know our story,
but like, I think it's people need to know that
even though when two people are like heavily in love,
you still go through things like okay, we need to
remember where we came from. Um, But we kind of
reminisced and figured out why we gotten this in the
(14:01):
first place. And I think that we kind of shared
our story then with each other. And it's very cute
because essentially I'm not going to say it because I
think we kind of want to hold out on it.
They were very similar that, yeah, it was. It was
really it's ironic, like meant to be, you know, that's
so cute. I also just like this is so random.
(14:25):
I have a question that is associated with it. Really,
but like I loved his family on on his on
the show. There was just so much warmth from them,
like it was it was a hometown that like, it's
just so memorable because of the people on it. And
I feel like you said that that was kind of
when you fell in love with him, right, That's when
you knew it was him. Was when you met the family. Yeah,
(14:49):
I mean there were so many like reasons why that night,
but it's just he was so excited to entr reduced
me to his family, and I was so freaking nervous,
and he's just like, they're gonna love you. It's gonna
be fine, and um, he just started crying like once
(15:10):
he saw his family, just because I think that in
that moment, they both he knew that they knew that
he was really happy because he came in like smiling,
and I guess like that wasn't something he was doing
very often before he had met me. So they had
kept saying like something's different, and um, I think that's
(15:30):
when he knew, like, okay, yeah, like this is a
good relationship for me. But also I do remember Zach
saying because he was gonna go talk to his mom
I think or his dad, I don't remember who, and
then I was going to talk to the other parent
and then he just like yelled right before he went
out the door, like you can tell her and ask
her anything. She knows everything, like nothing's off limits. And
(15:54):
so with that, I just was like that was so
reassuring to me, Like he the person that he's telling
me he is, and like I can actually pick his
parents brain and like they shouldn't be hesitant to tell
me anything. You know. That's great. That is such a
good sign. And you guys, you actually said that night
(16:15):
one you like didn't have this love at first sight feeling.
Did you have a front runner on night one or
a couple that you like weren't that? Yeah, that wasn't
sack that you feel okay with like revealing I feel like,
oh my god, I feel like okay. So Jared and
I were the first group date, so you went out
(16:37):
with Brendan and then we were like the second date
that you had and the producers told us like mentioned
so and so, and I think it was Ben and
it may have been Zack. I think there were two
like one syllable names, but yeah, to describe like who
was who we were thinking of after night one? Yeah, yeah,
(16:58):
there were there were a couple of them. Um. I
think obviously, like first impression wise, I gave my rose
to Spencer and I think that's just because like he
reminded me and probably if someone I dated in the
past and like I got that, you have to remember,
like I didn't get the whole limo things with everybody
I walked into a room, and so he was the
first person that actually came out of limo for me.
(17:19):
And that's kind of when I was like, and I
think maybe it was like the realization like oh my god,
him the bachelor atte but also he was like very attractive,
So that was someone I was like at first, I
caught my eye more of a Cinderella moment, like kind
of like you more so imagined your night one exactly
and um, but yeah, you are right. Um, Ben was
(17:41):
someone that kind of stuck out to me night one
very easily. I don't know, Yeah, what it was, but
he was definitely someone I was attracted to. Um, let's
see who else was there, And I think Brendan was
also someone that he was my first one on one,
So obviously he was someone that like I was talking
(18:01):
to and I felt like there was a lot of
similarity in chemistry there. So that's why he got my
first one on one. But I do remember talking to
Zach obviously and having that wish with him. It was
very special and it was different than what a lot
of the guys because not really anybody had any like
(18:23):
kind of gimmicks at night, and so it was just
a quick, little simple thing that kind of just like
made it fun. Yeah. Alright, so let's go from your
experience as a bachelorette to you going from that to
(18:46):
six months later guiding somebody else's journey through it. How
did you feel? How how was that being a mentor
and especially so soon after you went through it, Um,
and you're gonna you're doing it again? Like and what? Yeah, Okay,
Well let's catcher that first and then I have a
follow up. Okay. Um, First of all, it was an
(19:09):
amazing phone call. Again, first I was like, you're sure
you're calling me right, Like I don't. I was really confused.
That's like when they called you when you're there, like yeah,
Claire's leaving and you're like, uh what you know, Like
I really need to stop answering you guys phone calls.
Like it's been it's like a running joke now that
I really need to stop answering their phone calls. Um,
(19:30):
because my life changes drastically after I get them. But um,
I just have to say, like I was so excited
to be there for Katie because I remember just like
the feelings that I had was like I just want
to talk to some like a girlfriend and as much
as you have that with like your producers and like,
because they are kind of like my family at this point.
It's it's so different talking to like a girlfriend so
(19:54):
freely and being like, oh my god, like I was
such a good kisser. But like also I hated the
way like pants fit and you know what I mean.
Like it's just like how girls talk a certain amount
of trust to like I think a moment where I
thought it was very important or like comforting that it
was you guys there and not you're a standard host
(20:14):
or a producer. Was this past Monday's episode when Caitlin
came and knocked on the door to talk about Greg's departure,
and you just felt more like security there. You're like,
you're not going to use my conversation right now to
be part of the show. Like I really think that
you care about me. Yeah, It's just there's there are
(20:37):
times where we're like, okay, screw the camera's like, tell
me how you are feeling right now. And I think
just with that, you're like, Okay, I am a real person.
They are real people. I really am trying. You know.
It just makes the the show of it all become
like more of a reality, you know, and takes away
(20:57):
what you think you have to be like. And I think, um,
Katy really needed that, and I think that all bachelors
really need that. It's it's such a weird situation, you
know what I mean, just because you always have people
looking at you, You're watching, You're having people watch you
make out, fall in love and and cry and go
through all of these waves of emotions to the point
(21:19):
where you almost kind of feel like you're kind of
going crazy, you know, like in the morning you're extremely happy,
and then at night you're going through a breakup and
you're extremely depressed, and it's just kind of like you
get up on your horse and you do it the
next day. For me, I'm not gonna lie it because
it was so close to like my season. I feel
like I kind of was in my fields a lot
(21:40):
of the journey. Like I would even text back and
be like like, I'm thinking of us through this thing,
Like I'm thinking how you kind of stressed out, like
going on a date, or like how I was feeling.
And it was tough for me. I was crying a lot. Interesting,
but yeah, it brings back even when you're on set,
doesn't matter whether like you're even relating to the storyline
(22:03):
going on, just like being around that energy and those
same people, it brings back a whole bunch of nostalgia. Yeah,
it's it was difficult to get through, but I think that, Um,
I just knew that I would have wished I had
the same mentors. So I was just trying to be
there as much as I can, you know, for her, um,
(22:24):
and I think it's an amazing thing to have for
the Bachelor. How would it have been if Caitlyn wasn't
there with you? Um? You know, it's It's so funny
because I feel like our experiences were Caitlyn and I
experiences were so different but also so similar. Like she
(22:45):
started with another girl as well in her season. Um, yeah,
I came out, Yeah, and I, you know, Claire is
there before me, and then I kind of walked into something. Um,
Caitlin and I, you know, I had kind of like
a rough batchel with our our first Bachelor's if you will,
(23:06):
and like, I don't know, we just like really relate.
And so even her and I were able to talk
about our experiences and try to figure out how we
can help you know, the bachelorrette. Um, I don't know,
if I could, I don't know. Give, I don't know.
I think we both compliment each other very well. She
went through a really emotional time on it, right because
(23:26):
she was reminiscing a lot about her passes. Yeah, and again,
I don't think people understand that, yes, we are creating
a show, but it's very much so our life, Like
our our feelings aren't fake, Like there's no way they
can be. Like you're still living through it, You're still
(23:49):
you know, intimately involved with these human beings like you
obviously are giving a part of yourself like, so it's
very real and it's um, it's difficult. We only have
a few more minutes, but I got to talk about
the ending of this episode this week with Greg leaving, UM,
we had a psychoy. We had a psychiatrist on the
podcast talking about what she thinks happened, and actually she
(24:13):
she emailed us today a very long explanation that she
had after watching it thoroughly through, which was different than
my initial impression, which was that it was I thought
he was gaslighting her, like crazy, what was your impression?
I mean, it's tough. I think that Greg was just
(24:33):
really hurt. I thought that he wasn't validated in some
of the ways that he was treating her, obviously, but
I think he like genuinely really loved her and he
just wanted that validation. You are way more right, according
to our psychiatrist than I was. She said that a
lot of it has to do with the trauma that
(24:54):
he's gone through with his dad, and he kind of
had a moment of regression to just not being able
to be loved back the way that he expected to
be loved back. So I'll get We'll get into this
again on like our regular podcast on Monday. But I
just wanted to get your perspective on that, and then like,
(25:15):
what the heck is going to happen with Monday's episode?
Like my feel like you know, like you know, and
I am sitting here with my best guess being that
she either goes after Greg tries to make that work,
or just says like I'm truly leaving, like I'm actually
going to book my ticket home because I don't feel
(25:38):
like I can say yes to either two of two
of the moths that are left. Let's just say. I mean,
as we've seen already, Katie is a very strong individual
and she knows what she wants and once she makes
up her mind, um like, she doesn't vulture on that.
(26:01):
So you're seeing her really at her her lowest. Um. Honestly,
the next episode, I die, I can't handle it. I
watched it back and I was like, you're breaking getting me,
Like I still can't believe it. Twist and did you
know everything that went down or were there things that
(26:22):
went down that you didn't even know? No, and no,
like I actually wasn't. I don't even I don't think
I was on property when this um when Caitlin was
with her um this past episode. So when I got
on and I like heard what happened, I was like,
I'm sorry why, Like it took me a little bit
(26:44):
to actually figure out what was going on. And this girl,
she's a strong one, but I'm telling you her her
strength as a very much. So that was a fantastic
tea Asia. So now that you're you're on your are
you on set of Michelle's season? Now? I don't know
(27:06):
if I can say that, but technically I can, so yeah. So, um,
as far as what you learn from hosting mentoring Katie's season,
what are you going to do differently? Anything you'll you'll
apply in a different way, I think, you know. I
think it's so funny. Caitlin and I were talking about this,
like we were giving an advice to Michelle, and I'm like,
(27:27):
I feel like I've already said this, Like I feel
like I'm just repeating myself. But the thing is, we
are and we aren't. We all feel the same things
like going through this experience, um, which is why like
we're able to relate, you know what I mean? But
everybody is very different. I think Michelle is a very
different woman than Katie is, and so honestly, the twist
(27:51):
and turns that are gonna happen here are gonna be
very different from Katie, and so we just kind of
go at the flow. I don't know how it's going
to be different, but I'm telling you right now, it's already.
And oh my gosh. So Tasha Adams, everyone, you're fantastic.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your
exhausting days and all the interviews you have to do
to be with us. You are the greatest. Thank you.
(28:15):
I'm so happy to see you, and honestly, like I
said before, I'm so freaking excited for you. Thank hell. Wait,
one of our favorite memories from the day that we
announced was you and Caitlin calling us and you being
so emotional. That was just the sweetest thing. Like seriously,
I had that screenshot a picture of you guys, and
(28:37):
it's the cutest thing. It makes me like very grateful
again for all the experiences and the people that we've
met through this process. We're all going through it in
a different way, but like it's we we have like this,
we have this bond, so it's exciting. But yeah, glad
we were able to do this. I appreciate you. Appreciate you.
Bye j Bye Fall The Benn and Ashley I Almost
(29:01):
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