All Episodes

April 23, 2024 109 mins
Bert Kreischer, Redneck News, New Headlines & More! 
Mark as Played

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
See this is a dune to thegraphic nature of this program. Listener discretion,
is it lies the Woody Show.This is the Woody Show. Insensitivity

Training class is now in session.By good morning everybody. Yeah, today's

Tuesday. It is April the twentythird, twenty twenty four. Hello,
welcome, it is the Woody Show. Mordy. That's right, what Greg
Gorey, Good morning, Good morningwood there's a menace Morning Woody. There's
a sea bass. Sammy's here.We got Bort Caroline. There's Morgan,
our associate producer, our video producer. It's Vaughn Easier. Phones are open

for you eight seven seven forty fourWoody, or you can hit us up
with the text over to two tonine eight seven, The Shirtless One,
the Machine Noise. Comedian Bert Kreischeris on the show this so we'll talk
to Birdie Boy. Always good tohave Bert in. Definitely, although,
man, he's looking better than usthese days, that's for sure. For
a guy does as much partying anddrinking and everything else as he does,

it's called a balance. He's he'sdoing something right. Also, a brand
new Redneck News. We'll have someof the trending news headlines. Rave has
got Nerd Now before the hour isup, the list of the world of
nerds. Also the birthdays and thePorner Birthday. Also on the way.
Let's see a couple of fun facts. We'll start here. Back in twenty
thirteen, thirty seven percent of drinkssold at Starbucks were cold. Okay,

Today that's seventy five percent. Ialways get a cold yeah, really,
yeah, I do prefer cold overthat hot. So yeah, thirty seven
percent of drinks sold at Starbucks backin twenty thirteen or cold Now it's seventy
five percent. That is so muchso that I'm not surprised at all.
I traded in my curic to givea new one that does cold. Oh

really, wow, I didn't evenknow they made those. Yeah, it
does hot and cold. It's coolWalmart exclusive only sixty five bucks. Uh.
Did you know that thirty four percentof people say giving one word text
responses is rude. I don't disagree, I disagree one word. I mean
like okay. If it warrants aone word response, what's cool? I
think other than okayd other than okay. Any one word response can be seen

as rude if it's an answer tomy question or just an acknowledgement that you
got the message that Yeah, okay, how about also throw in word word
word yeah, word alright, word, yeah, I get back from you
or sea bass a lot of times. Yee ye yee, yeah, that's
our word. Yee. But ifsomebody texted that, hey, you want
to have lunch today and you writeback, sure exclamation point, Yeah,

that's fine. Fine, yep.We were talking about this recently, but
only thirty percent of us do notseparate the whites and colors while doing laundry.
I don't, I do, Idon't I do. I don't have
some reason. I don't really havewhites. Yeah, I just don't have
really any anything that would matter.I don't have a lot of whites.
It's just socks and stuff like that. Even my socks are gray. Yeah,

yeah, black or gray. Dueto our body style, white is
not very flat on many white things. Yeah, first day typically happens more
on Wednesdays than any other day ofthe week. Did you know that,
No, I would never think thatWednesdays. Well, you don't waste your
weekend on somebody. Yeah. Iguess it's also like a thing where you

know, it's not like an openended evening. You know where you have
work or whatever. The next dayWednesdays you can put an end to it.
Sixteen percent of people menace now claimthat they've seen an alien sixteen wow,
sixteen percent. As much as Ilove all the alien stuff, I
have not seen an alien or aUFO. You would like to. I

would love to. Parents spend anywherebetween ten and forty hours a week driving
kids around to it from school.Really, yeah, it's about right.
It seems about right, ten toforty Ye, where are they commuting to
school? Well, that's not justschool, like all their activities right time
to like, you know, myson's got hockey that starts at five,

which means that she's going to leavearound four thirty to get him there by
five. It goes for an hour, hour and a half and then he
get away from the you know,get off the ice, get changed,
getting the car, get back home. You're spending a ton of time,
right and then in between there,maybe she's going to pick it up my
daughter from her activity, bringing herback to the ice rink, to make

a pick up my son, justto bring him back home. It's so
much driving around. Wow. Onaverage, people have one hundred and fifty
TV channels at home, but theyonly ever watch fifteen of them on average,
Fifteen out of thee hundred watch five. I was gonna say, if
it's even that before I cut thecord three maybe. Yeah. The nice
people over at uber you might haveseen something about this. They've released their

annual list of the most common thingsthat you all have up behind in ubers
over the past year. Overall,the most forgetful people are in Los Angeles.
Atlanta is second on the list,followed by Dallas, Phoenix, and
Austin. So the biggest cities andthe things most commonly that are showing up
in the lost and found clothing makessense. Luggage, How do you forget

your luggage? I'll just get outof the car and forget to go to
the trunk. Headphones, which I'massuming you're also like, you know,
AirPods, wallets, jewelry, phones, cameras, tablets, books, laptops,
and vapes. Oh okay, asfar as the strangest things that people
forgot to grab on their way out, Uh, they found two containers with

spiders in them. Greg No,there was a tray of meat pie left
behind. Someone paniced because they leftbehind a leaf that's very much needed,
then why didn't you take it?A ceramic cat, a candle that says

see you in court? Okay,weird, kind of funny. A live
pet turtle also found a burrito steamer, some Benny Benny Hannah, garlic butter,
a fart sensor, a fake butt, and a paternity test. Oh
wow, so a fake butt,a fake butt. I forgot my fake

button the ober. Has anybody evergotten anything back that they have forgotten?
I have? I've where'd you forget? I forgot a laptop at t s
A before we because you know,he had a separate it from your bag
before I got like pre tree andstuff like that. And luckily one of

my friends lived in that city,so he went and picked it up for
me. But I think, soyou really left it. I really left
the airport and I left it leftit. Yeah wow yeah, But I'm
like a an uber or. Ijust figured those things are gone. I
don't know. Luckily, I've neverforgot anything. I got like one of
those old timey flip phones when welived in Chicago. I left it in

a cab and I called a cabcompany and the cabby brought it back.
Oh really, yeah, it's nice. Yeah, we left a It was
an old it was an old iPad. It was like on its last legs
to begin with, so I didn'treally care. But the kids would use
it to play like stupid games onthe plane, and they left it on
the plane on a plane, andthat thing no chance, like we called

just and like I said, itdidn't really matter. It was already kind
of old, and yeah, halfwaydidn't work as it was. Oh,
dude, when you're I remember now, when your son was really young and
he was in the legos, Ibought him some legos. Yeah, and
I left him on the plane.Oh no, they're like regular bags,
right, No, sucks. Anotherfun fact here after books, jumper cables

are the second most borrowed item inAmerica. Weird. I don't even have
any. No, I don't haveany. I do, but they're at
home. Like, what good isthat? I have an electric car?
You can do that. Yeah,And a new pole found that americans number
one biggest fear is world war,followed by having to declare bankruptcy. That's
scary. Yeah, that's awful.Yeah, I'm constantly afraid of war and

natural disasters. That's true. Yeah, what'd you say? Your latest one
was? My latest one is thecomment that's going to be flying by Earth
and it is April, oh thirteenth. Yeh. When you were talking about
that, there were a number ofpeople that followed up and said that they
changed it right, Yeah, likethe new the new calculations be Yeah,

yeah, it's gonna be not gonnabe as close as they nowhere. No,
we're close and don't worry. Yeah, so you're good menace, Yeah,
take me for play. Sure,Yeah, that's we had a ton
of so many texts about it lookingback up, but we had a ton
of text saying that they knew whatyou were talking about. But NASA has
since come out and said this isno longer going to be a concern.
They want you to think that.Oh yeah, it affects them too.

Yeah, Arch everybody is there therocket to get out of here? You
one panic much like the AI creatorseight seven seven be a problem eight seven
seven forty four. What if youwant to give us a call and us
up with that text over to twotwo nine eight seven. We got some
more Tuesday morning. What the showcoming up for you next? Hang on
the show. We'll be hey,it's menace. Check out the Lazy Dog

Restaurants made to order lunch specials threedollars off road trip balls and other delicious
meals starting at only eight dollars andseventy five cents, available every day until
four pm. Order for pickup ordelivery, free delivery on orders over twenty
five dollars. Lazy Dog Restaurants Stop. This is like a boom and we

are into another new hour insensitivity,trading, free, politically correct world.
We are the Woody Show, WoodyRavy, Greg Gory. We got menace.
What's up? Sea Bass is here? We got Sammy phones are open
at eighty seven seven forty four Wooding. You can hit us up of the
text over to two to nine eightseven. I did not skip over you,

and I was saving you for lastbecause I want to do the right
thing and I want to do abig, big brand. Yeah. Geleman,
he is the man who has lookedlike half the man he used to
be. Huh with all this weightloss? Where'd it go? He is
the shirtless wonder, He is themachine. He is Bert christ shirt Bert.
It's here. He looks great.Yeah, I made it a phenomenal.

I feel great. You know,well you know me, and you
struggle with weight loss back and forth. I remember when you lost all the
weight, and it's just it's funwhen you see someone here remember that.
I remember it, but but itinspires you. And I saw Dave Matthews
on stage and he looked great,and I thought, I want to be
like, I want to feel Idon't want to look like I'm dying on
stage. Yeah, And I wasa period. I looked like I was

why you ask reddit he watched Tomdo it? Tom SIGERA, yeah,
but he did it on his epic. Now I did it. No,
I'm kidding, uh yeah. Andthen you know, I was partying with
I was partying with Chappelle one nightand he was like, you look great,
and he's like, don't stop.And I went for real because every
comic was like, dude, youlose weight, You're not gonna be funny

anymore. It's the dumbest thing I'veever heard of my entire life. Spells
like, I don't know who saysthat. Don't listen to him. I
guess like the fat physical stunt fallingdown kind of stuff. I don't fall
down, by the way. Here'sthe things like Chris Farley. Would he
been as funny? Yeah, Iwould. Well, Le's how about this,
Wouldn't you love to still have him? Yes, that's all. That's
all it is at the end ofthe day, wouldn't love to still have
him? You know it's like people, you know, I'm saying his style

of humor was playing a lot offat guy to Terry. Yeah, they
would have just three hundred pounds.Yea, he was. He was pretty
big towards the end. And youknow, it's like also lifestyle, it
represents it in your body and hewas part of his hardest like that last
s and Elie did. He wasreally he was. So have you messed
with a Zempic or gov are ofthose? No? I haven't. I

would, I would if I neededit. I'm doing the WOV thing.
I just not, you know,and I'm not eating crazy. I just
kind of feel like maybe it's justnot like I want to see like these
people who like they go, no, I'm too skinny now yeah yeah,
yeah, Like I like I wantto know what that is without really trying,
like I am cheating by taking thea goovie. I know that it's
not cheating, not cheating. That'slike thing, I'm cheating because I'm taking

a blood pressure medicine. No,I'm just trying to live. I had
a doctor tell me one time,I'm not going to try to change you.
It was Rogan's doctor. He's like, I'm not going to try to
change you. What I'm gonna dois'm gonna do your bood work and I'm
gonna make sure I can optimize youfor the life you live. Yeah,
I went. I love that.Yeah, I did that work. That's
how I'm here. Did you dothe whole thing where? Because, uh,

you know who Tony Horton is thebig face a Peaty X guy.
Oh yeah, I was thinking TimHorton Donuts, the coffee and donut gun.
Tony Horton. Yeah, he inventedPatty X. He's the big trainer
guy. Yeah all right, Well, so like he is on my phone
constantly now, and I should putyou in touch with them. I think

you'd love him. Was he theponytail guy? No, you're thinking the
guy that was the gizelle. Yeah, that was the gazelle guy. Yeah.
I love by the way, Ilove all those male body influencers.
Tony Martin's like sixty five years old, and he's the most ripped person I
think I've ever seen life. He'srelaneless. I'm also in testok strone.

Yeah, oh yeah, how doesthat work? I love it. I
love shooting gear shoot in my assthree times a week and I feel it.
I feel it rushed in my body. The first time I ever took
it, I was with you.Really I started. I started it.
I came in into radio with you. Yeah, I was humming, and
I was like, I was like, I really feel this stuff. Wow,

weird. My wife's on it too. I'm not allowed to tell anyone
that she's on it too. Andit turned her into a nice So she's
on testosterone's she rubs it behind herlegs, behind her knees. Is it
making her like clatorus bigger or anythinglike that? Isn't that what people take
like if they're trying to like,are of the transition thing? Like,
well, no, no, Icouldn't forget like four so a hormone.

No, remember who was that restof China was on a ton of those
steroids and she had she had aclatorus that looked like a small penis.
I think steroids and hormones are different. Hormones are is. I think it's
just I don't know what it is, but I'm taking I don't know if
it's a that's good. But it'sjust testosterone. But I'm injecting it.
I don't know what it is.But it's not like full gear like Windstrawl
and Decca. No, he's juston the berry bonds. Yeah, I'm

on the very clear. I'm somuch stronger than i've ever been field great,
I feel amazing. So what doyou like? What's your weight right
now? What are you down to? I'm thirty? How's that? Wow?
It feels insane, like like Ican tie my shoes. Yeah,
like I never could tie a shoe. You don't have to do the old
shirt stretching things. I still dothe shirts you do, of course,
because you're buying shirts are not Yeah, they're not big enough. What are

you ordering? Large is now?No, just excels, but double xcels.
Double excels were painful. When youput on a double xcel, it
doesn't look like you just fit inthat shirt. They're like, oh,
that's a double xcel. I cantell by the collar. The everything's looser.
You look like, oh, someonejust got out of bed. Did
you make a vest with all theweight that you lost? Spartan Race.

I said I was gonna run theSpartan Race. I couldn't do it.
I think I was working or something. But they I said, I'll run
the Spartan race with my old weight. So they made a forty five pound
weight in a backpack. Send itto Wow. I put it off aware
you're like, never mind. Itried to do a burbie and it was
insane. I was like, wait, I walked around, like the first
thing that started happening was my feetstarted hurting wow feet, And I was

like, oh my gosh, thisis all of that immediately. But yeah,
everything's better, Like my legs areso ripped. I usually get compliments
on like my cats. I gotreally good caves. That's pretty much all
I got. But like, it'sbecause I'm hauling my fat ass around all
the time. You got superior diamondcutters back there, right, because every
day is leg day around. Iwas doing a I was doing a voiceover

with Daniel Tosh once. I can'tremember I remember the guy's name. I'm
not gonna say mean, but theguy that was doing it was skinny.
He had beautiful calves and I andwe were in the booth together and I
kept going, your calves are gorgeous, and he goes, thank you,
thank you, and I was like, no, like that's insane. How
are you not an athlete? AndI'm watching Tosh in the booth crying,
laughing. I go, no,like his God, Daniel, I've seen

it. And Daniel, the thingis, he used to be four hundred
and sixty pounds and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's
all skinny now, yice, Well, I think he gave the way back,
you know, our struggle. Yeah, it's and I can I tell
my wife just tell me when I'mstarting to gain it back. Tell me
when I'm starting to get it back. So I know I'm gonna I'm keto
right now. But I've been cheatingthis week. That's the beginning. It's

because you get a little I know, right, Well, that's the thing.
That's the beginning, dude. Yeah, it starts with alcohol, because
then alcohol is like are you stillyou're still drinking though I just launched a
vodka right about that, I mean, yeah, I quit drinking to lunch
a vodka. Well, Bert Kreischeris here the Machine. You can find
them on all social media platforms atBert Kreischer, also on his website where
you can buy the you know,tickets for all these different shows. The

Tops Off World tour continues. We'regonna talk to Bert a little bit more
about that after the break, becausethat's kind of coming to an end here,
and then you're gonna be taking sometime off nine months. I kind
of wonder what you're gonna do withyourself, but we'll get into that next.
It is the Woodie show More ShowShow Next. Bert Kreischer is here.
Of course, the Netflix is aJoe Comedy Festival. It's gonna be
the Forum on Saturday the eleventh,and we have tickets for that. That's

all this week, I mean,across all the different shows here in all
ninety eighty seven. But man,we just gave away a bunch the other
day, and then we got somemore today. Of course, because Bert's
here, we're getting away tickets toyour own show while you're here. So
and also we have the tickets forTom Segura that's going to be at the
Forum May ninth. We got SethRogan, Kevin Hard, Bill Burr so

many great comics are be part ofthe Netflix is a Joke comedy special or
comedy festival. There we go andthen of course Birt's gonna shooting his Where
you shooting the Netflix special? I'mshooting at the Mahaffe in Tampa on Tampa.
Tell you what can I tell youwhat's great about Netflix's the Joke Festival.
People sleep because we live here.We sleep on what great talent we
get. This is a time toshow how much great talent lives in the

city, drives in the city,and really come out and celebrate La Celebrate
La souther Celebrate Southern California. Seeas many shows as possible. There are
so many the best comics in theworld are coming here. Everyone's bragging about
their damn city. Austin's amazing,La created it, La created Comedy.
Come out, support all the showsat the Store, at the laugh Factory,

at the knitting all the best placesgo see and I'll be there May
eleventh. Yeah, this is oneof those things that we joke about all
the time, Like every city saysthey're a great food citty, right,
and now they all are, andnow we really are. We are the
best food city in the world.You can show me. You know what
they call Korean barbecue in Austin Chinesefood. Yeah, we have Korean barbecue.

You can go in there and getsmoke in elation, get an indoor
venue's speaking English. They use scissorsto cut the meat you need to.
Yeah, that's so good. Okay, Yeah, because you're on you're on
the road a ton. I mean, so, like, what are some
of the other things that you missabout Southern California when you're not here?
Mexicans? Okay, well, youknow I had the most beautiful moment.

What in what way? You can'tjust say Mexicans? And so there's a
way that a Mexican dude. Ialways say, dukes is not the wind.
But celebrate you. It's really itreally is. It's I don't know
if it's a cultural thing, butyou don't. It doesn't happen. Big
white guys in Iowa, they recognizeyou. They're sweaty. Oh, come
here, you gotta get a pictureof me. Come here, take your

shirt off, dude. I broughtmy daughters to opening day Dodgers Stadium.
And my daughter does not live andshe goes to Colla somewhere else, and
my daughter said to me, Iforgot how cool la Is? I said,
what do you mean? She goesdown. I haven't really been around
Mexicans that much, and this islike, I feel like I'm home.
I thought that was so cool fora little white girl to come home to
a Dodger's and be and see allthese big Mexican guys in the jerseys having

cold beers, the micheladas. She'slike, I'm home. And as soon
as she said that, this dudejust comes up, DAPs me up,
and he's like dog down. Itjust hugs me, and you're like,
yeah, that's like our fiesta,manu. We have. We have the
best culture in the city. It'sso broad and then and you forget that.
You don't get that everywhere. Youdon't get it in Ohio. You
just don't. You know, here, California sucks for flavored tobacco products are

products, They're homeless, huge trafficis not the best road ranges kind of
out of control. Some parts ofthe city. You don't want to drive
in. Cost of living socks andliving sock. We're all, we're all,
we're all broken. Technically. Listen, there's always a woman hotter than
your wife. Walking down the street. But you don't find that in Iowa.

You don't buy that you have thedime out here. You're like,
honey, you need to work.Burt Kreischer is here. It's the Woody
Show. A walk back. BertKreischer is here, Yes, the machine.
So I've been torn all over theplace. You got you got the
top Soft World tour, which Isee. I don't know how you're doing

the schedule, man, because you'reconstantly on the move. It's NonStop.
Yeah. I tried to get aholdof them when you were doing the Zen
thing. Yeah. I reached outto Burt. I was like, dude,
because you can't get flavored zin's,I'll bring them back. I know
you can't. I get the goodones in Nashville. Well we did the
Zen thing because I've been listening toUh two Bears One Cave your podcast with
Tom Segura, and you guys talkabout zen's all the time, and then

you also talk about like Lucy andthen like some European and stuff them and
you talk about how it makes youfeel. I'm like, how could this
There's no way, there's no waythat this medicine tried it. But it
was just like the plain ones.I'm on Classic right now. Yeah.
I tried. It's almost like Godtaps you on the shoulder and goes,

I'll take it from here. BecauseI had the the worst experience. I
started with the six milligram. Okay, don't you gotta smoke Heroin first,
no one shoots it up their firsttime, and then a lizard goes,
you gotta do upper decker. I'mlike, oh my gosh, upper decker.
That's like when Greek chicks go,you can just we can. We

can't have regular sex, but youknow what we can do to say a
virgin. So then like two minutes, I felt like kind of like the
feeling I have when I smoke Indica, right, and then I just instantly
and you talk about this too,I like, I feel like I want
to crab my pants. I startedsweating like crazy, and I want to
simulant. It's a stimulat he wasshape your heart. You think faster,

you think cleaner, you think clearer. It's great. It's a great thing
in the morning with a coffee.You have a little morning gratitude. Oh
it's the best I have two inright now. Oh, it helps me
think faster. Yeah. See,my body is made up of about fifty
percent nicotine, and I could barelyhandle it. Put a three in,
right, I could barely three becausehe has a three upper decker. Nope,

no, Greg, just try athree banger three, just the three
and let it, let it,let it. See if you don't need
to spit with these, right,no, swallow it. See that's the
that's the benefit. You don't haveto spit or yeah, already eat so
burd Chreischer between the tops off Worldtoward of course, the Netflix is a
joke comedy festival. I can bedoing a show at the Key of Form

in Inglewood on Saturday, May theeleventh. And then let's talk about the
new vodka. So it's it's calledPorosos and you guys are teamed up on
this, you and Tom. Somebodycame to you and said, what a
brilliant idea. Though you gotta figurethat guy got it, like whoever that
was from whatever it was, BurtDepartment, whatever partner that we Burt,

Yeah it was Burt. I haveliquor companies coming to me a lot.
Yeah, obviously, that's what I'msaying. And at one point it got
pretty real. I and I feltdirty, not including Tom. So I
know that if Tom, I'm reallysensitive and if Tom has started a liquor
without bringing me in, it wouldhurt my feeling. Okay, So I
reached out to him. Tom's lotsmarter than I am, and he was
like, why would we just whitelabel it? Why wouldn't we start our
own. See, I've gotten toa place where no one says no to

my ideas, which is really,oh great I'm doing. I have a
five K, A eleventh, yeah, may fifth, like every idea I
have. I have a top softworld tour, I have my tour,
I've got a movie, I've gotlike everything, so like, and Tom's
like, let's do it. Ifwe're gonna do it right, we're gonna
invest our own money, we'll starta company. Well, and it was
took eighteen months to come up withthis vodka. But that's all Tom's thumb

print is. We will do itfrom the ground up. We will find
the right distiller, We'll find theright blend. I love that. Yeah,
And so we did it. Wedesigned the bottle, we designed the
cap, we designed everything, thecolor, everything about it. And then
I was really aggressive with the tasteof it. Listen, you ever meet
a guy who like really loves hiswife, Yes, and you're like and
you're like, well, what's upwith that? He's the guy who's got

the iar my wife and always andpeople will talk about hot hicks. He's
like, nothing like my wife.Huh. Yeah, they're like, what
is wrong. That's how I feelabout my vodka. Yeah, it's so
good. It's all I drink.It's all I drink. My recovery is
through the roof. I'm not drinkinga ton of it, but I will
take like I have two drinks atthe end of the night, hit a
vape pen, and my recoveries throughthe roof. Heart rates in the sixties,

sleeping, I have a great sleepscore, really clean. It's it's
we've got a proprietary distillership. Wehave the rights of it for six years.
We teamed up with this great company, Drip. They launched mister Beast
bars. Oh nice. Yeah,so they know what they're doing with like
launching brands, and so they wentto them. We brought in a bunch,
started with whiskey. Tom and Iwere like, everyone's got whiskey.

Whiskey is a hard sell in myopinion, so I already know the whiskey's
I love. It's like selling acar, like I know what I want
to buy, Like you're gonna tellme what to buy gin. I'm like,
who drinks gin? But Willow?Yeah, you know what? Am
I playing the back nine time?Tom's Like Gin would be so cool.
I think tequila's littered, everyone's gota yeah, But vodka's just like undiscovered

territory where I feel like, ifyou do it right, you can really
hit it out of the park.And I love I love vodka. I've
been drinking vodka mostly for weight lossfor the past ten years, and so
and I would say I put Tito'son the map. I mean I talked
about Tito's everywhere. And so Iwant a vodka. I don't want a
vodka that grabs your shirt and pullsyou over to tell your story. I

want a vodka that whispers and herlips gently touch your ear and you go,
whoa something, Yeah, And that'smy vodka. Nice it gently lips
caress It's so good. Okay,Now, just so you know, that
microphone that you're using right now istypically the one that menace uses. I
don't know if I put my mouththat close. Luckily, my lips are

distilled by my vodka. Yeah,can you not drink any other Like what's
the deal? Like you can't drinkany other stuff because you have your own
vodka. I probably I will haveI have jack, not vodka. But
like if you like, you wanttequila, like, are you gonna have
a tequila? If I have atequila, I'll probably print drink the rocks
tequila. I like tereremana. Ido enjoy it. I don't drink a

lot of tequila because I need tocut it with lime, and lime gives
me acid reflux. When I geton a plane. It's the same drink
every time, double jack on therocks, lots of rocks. Every time.
I have two of those. ThenI go to I p A's.
It's a sneaky way to get ahand because they're you know, they're they're
clocking you. Ye. So itwas a young girl going, you're drinking
like my dad and I didn't likemy dad means for the bears in Spanish
p O r O s O sis how it's spelled. And like your

your goal is what have a nationwideby this time next year? Billionaire yeah,
I want to get out of thisvodka as soon as possible and just
drink it. Well, Bert Kreischeris here, and so he's always got
like this weird. What I tellyou recently on a text message is like,
oh, you're like, dude,I went and watch the eclipse of
Dave Chappelle yesterday. Yeah, yourlife is so crazy, just unpredictable,

like awesome. It's just like it'srandom and fun all the time. First
of all, I love life,so like that's the big thing. Is
I do love life? Yeah,I get out of bed and I like
living life and feel very lucky tobe here. So like, if cool
stuff shows up, I'm in it. Like I'm in it. I want
to be there. I have fomotoo, But yeah, I like to
live life, so I like todo cool stuff. So when we talk

about taking nine months off, Igo, so what do I do?
Do? I like sail to Hawaii? What's the fun thing to do?
Because I don't want to just sitin my or You're going to frat parties?
Now heard about that, but yeah, dude, the recap of that
was crazy. It was so wild. Where at University of Tennessee, we're
just walking around and this kid goes, yo, we got a frat party

tonight. I was like, really, it's like you should show up and
I was like, yeah, maybemaybe we'll get back to the green room.
Gets on the show. I sayto the group, se we roll
through and sife sounds is like,we'll do a lap. So we show
up to a frat party and it'slike five hundred kids. They've got a
legit DJ, and they're like,will you get on stage? I was
like, buddy, are you readingmy mind? Yeah, don't ask me

to take my shirt off, it'salready coming off. And we I don't
use this word often, but turnedup. We had the wildest These kids
were losing their minds. And thenof course on stage, I get into
the pit, we start dancing.It's the greatest time. We spent one
hour there, got wasted. Mytour bus pulls up to a frat party

and I'm like, oh, nowthe place is like I was trembling on
that tour bus. I stole thosechildren's youth. It was like taking said
fed off the energy. Yeah,dude, they don't think about life the
way we do. Like I wakeup, I think about death. I
think about how short life is Isay my gratitudes, I work out.

These kids don't realize death is real. Yeah, they are hitting vape pets.
You shouldn't be doing that. Imean it was wild. It was
wild. Then you see like thesethere's like, you know, I'm fifty
one, I'm also a dad,so like I gave a couple very inspirational
speeches. Yeah. Yeah, theones we edited out is when I turned

into dad Moe because these young girlsare now are like doing I love you,
I love taking shirt off, dumbdance with me, and I'm like
no, and the next start onwith listen, call your parents tomorrow morning.
Tell me you love them. Nopills, no power, no pills,
no power. I'm like, Ilove you, guys. I'm just
talking to my daughter Georgia. Yeah, hoping she's in the audience somewhere.

Wake up early to your homework andjoin the outdoors, go have a picnic.
Well. Bert Kreischer is here atBerg Kreischer and all the social media
platforms, Bert Birdbert dot Com.More with Bert. Next time on the
White Show. We'll be here foranother twenty minutes. We'll be right back.
Nobody Show. All right, welcomeback, everybody. Yeah, Bert
Kreischer, the machine is here.As we've been talking about. He's very

busy. He's got a lot ofdifferent things going on. One of those
things. First thing Bird said tome when I walked Intodo, He goes,
dude, you doing the five kYeah, you know, we got
Jelly roll doing it. Yeah,Jelly rolls down seventy five pounds. He
looks amazing. Yeah. Now,and Billan's doing it. Shane Gillis's is
doing it, Mark Norman, Louisc k is a soft positive Stobby's doing

it. We got everyone coming out. How come it's always easier when you're
famous to lose weight? Yeah,money, yeah, money, money,
Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's alsothere's like more because like you don't necessarily
have any more time. No,no, another people do get a personal
trainer. I can get a personaltrainer, get one, I know,
but I get it. I don'tthink it'll work. We actually have to
do it. That's what I'm saying. Like I always joked about like that

bit about like you know, havesomebody walk around. We got to be
so rich to have somebody walk aroundslap the food out of your hand.
That's what I need. I needsomething like that, buddy. There are
two things. My wife won't tellme how much it costs, my therapist
and my trainer. She goes,you don't have to know the price point
on that. Just know that they'regoing to be there once a week for
the therapist. And then every daymy trainer shows up at my house at
seven am and we work out.And I don't want to. I don't

never want to. How slicky wantto? That's the thing I was like,
where does he get this this motivation? It's a punitive I wake up
matt at myself that I partied thenight before, and I go, come
on, you want it. Youwanted to get after it last night.
Then we get to the gym thismorning. I did not want to work
out. I got on the treadmill, I ran a five k very slow,
and but I did it. Idid it. But show me a

fitness influencer as a job, Yeah, all these fitnesses. No, no,
no, show me someone that wakesup and has to pack their own
lunch. That's why I love dudeslike cam Haignes because he works forty fifty
hours a week and also runs halfa marathon every single day. Well,
so the the the two Bears fiveK that's coming up on the seven that

was a pipe dream. That's Tuesday, May seventh, nine am there at
the Rose Bowl. There's also gonnabe post race food, drinks, partying,
entertainment, be a big party.We're gonna have Jelly Roller Hutter.
If you don't think I'm gonna makehim come up and sing his hit,
I'm trying to get Teddy Swims outthere. I'm getting everyone out there.
We've got I mean, I don'twant to tell you all the people committed

because some of them are really famous, but they are some of the best
musicians in the world. And wewill have a big party. We'll have
all the greatest comics all messing aroundon stage. It's gonna be an event.
It will be a real big event. My favorite thing about running these
races is the post party, notthe race. The post party. Your
endorphins are kicked in. You're inthe sunshine, You've earned that cold vodka,

and I am telling you whatever whoever'sgot shows that night, they're gonna
suck. Well, just go tothe number two Bears five so the number
five K dot com So two Bearsfive k dot com from don't have time
to train and by the way,and by the way, Shane Gillis and
Tim Dillon are doing it. Soif you want to slow walk with them,

okay, there's gonna be an Iwill be running, but I'm gonna
run enjoy it. I'm not gonnaI was gonna try to run for time,
but I want to run and enjoyit and hang with the fans,
hang with other comics. I wantlaugh the hardest I ever laughed. You
know. I was running a halfmarathon with Jim Florentine and we were talking
about concussions, and he said,have you ever had a concussion? And
I said I had one. Ihad one so bad I had the priests

had to check my testicles every thirtyminutes. I was being serious. And
he stopped running and he started laughingand I said what and he goes,
buddy, I think you were molestic. I said what, They don't need
to check your test I never thoughtthis through and he's like, for concussion,
that's like the last I thought thatwas a good question protocol and he
was like, no. We laughedso hard doing this twelve K and I

go, oh my god, Iguess I was Holy cat got buy a
lot of priests. That's hilarious.Yeah, we laughed so hard. Then
Jim Florentine left the half marathon,went into a Hilton, had breakfast,
took a dump, and then crossedthe thing and finished in the top five
for his age group. Oh wow, he didn't run the whole thing.
He cheated. Oh my god,him a walk the back work christ or

the machine here. So okay,I gotta get to this right away because
I keep forgetting asking. So Ithink a lot about like my future when
I'm done doing this, and Ithink, man, what the hell am
I gonna do? Like, youknow, what is that something I would
truly enjoy? Or am I justgonna work till I die just because I

got nothing else to do? Nowwhen you're gonna take all this time?
But here's a guy, and I'mjust saying for you, guys. You
know, we all know Burt andyou watch him on social me watch you.
You're everywhere constantly and now you're planningto take nine months to do.
What What are you gonna do?I don't know. I think live.
I want to live like other peopledo. I want to live so so
much of my life. I hopethis isn't too deep dive. So much

of my life is performative, meaningmeaning, I got you, I got
the polar plunge this morning. Firstthing I do is I pull out my
phone to record it, and thenI go hold Am I getting in the
polar plunge for them or for me? So much of my life is performative
that I think I get lost inthe idea of I saw you sitting on
your Instagram the other day. You'relike, you have this nice it's like
a Saturday or whatever it is.You're on the back porch with your wife's

out there, you got the poolin the background, and like there's other
people there to have a conversation with, but like you're having a conversation with
your fans. Yeah, you knowthat makes sense. Like every time you
are doing anything, you feel theneed to share it. Yeah. And
I think in that nine months,I'd like to see if I could get
back to some more intrinsic value oflike am I doing this for me?
Or am I doing it for views? And if you take nine months off

you have nothing to promote. Yeah, I have so many things to promote
right now that I feel like I'mlost in promotion where I'm like the vodka,
the five K, the summer tour, the new special, the show
at the Forum. I have somuch stuff to to promote. Then I
do get lost in this like whoam I? What am I doing?
Like I'd love to just sit down. I get really depressed when I stop

working. I get really depressed.So that's what I would worry about,
because I feel like just thinking aboutit sometimes puts me in that funk.
Dude, you know, just eventhinking about it. This is why like
you and I think are are similarin a lot of it. Very different
in other wise, but like verysimilar in this kind of way where we
can mind f ourselves very very quickly. Oh especially on Instagram, because you
start seeing people doing big things,you forget that you've done big things.

I guess I guess my point withyou is, like I think, because
I would be the same, Ithink it would need a plan, like
Okay, this is I'm gonna dostuff just for me and I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna even bring my phonein that particular. Okay, you're gonna
go somewhere, You're gonna do something. You could tell people about it later.
But you're not even gonna bring yourphone. It would be cool to
have something done where I could goon any radio show and they had not
seen it, heard it, orlived it with me. Yeah, you

know, like that would be yeah, Like even when you hang out with
Chappelle's like, no phones. Youdon't have phones out right? And I
said to him. He asked me, He's like, did you have a
good time today? And I said, the only way I can quantify it
to you, Dave. And youwon't understand this is I thought about pulling
my phone out fifteen times. That'swhen I know I'm having a good time.
Is I go, oh my god, I'm here with a lib quality

and we're talking about poetry and setup of words and why he likes to
s and I'm like, all thesemoments I think to pull my phone out.
I would love to get away fromthat for a period of time and
get grounded, tab bit grounded.And so we'll see. But once again,
I'm gonna say, Towaii, whywould I not bring a film I
known about that. Birt wants tosail from l A to Hawaii eighteen days.

It takes eighteen days and you wantto talk about being small. Yeah,
that sounds big. Yeah, startwith the Bahamas, Like you couldn't
do that on your own. No, I'd have to. Well I've already
I've already that's such a phony.I've already reached out to like all these
top sailors and then be fun togo. Yeah, it would be terrifying.

No way, what if there's astorm. There will be, and
then what do you do when there'sa storm? I think, I mean
a top notch sailor, guy,handle that crap. Here. You're in
your room down below, making surewe're gonna run out of vodka. But
when you at the post, likelike Lieutenant Dan, you were getting deep.

Just a moment ago, I wasthinking, I'm like, that's why
I think you and what he shoulddo ayahuasca together. No, I can't
do it. I can't you talkexactly what it is? No one does
technically. Where's it coming from?Anywhere is goodwa? Where? I don't
know what it is? Where doesit come from? Roots and stuff?

Roots? And you gotta have ashaman, and any dudeho is a shaman
because I went to college, solike every every shaman, I'm like,
Okay, right, what does yourdad say about you being a shaman?
Tom did it? Maybe I don'tknow if he's told this or not,
but Tom did it, like afour seasons oh wow, private he did

a private ayauasca ceremony. The bestpart of this story. I don't know
if Tom's told you or not.I'm sorry Tom, but he does it.
He gets done and the guys areyou good? And Tom's like I'm
pretty good? And he's like okay. So Tom's like, I'm gonna go
out back. I'm gonna have acigarette and and maybe have a drink and
you know, assess my day.You said were you're still tripping? And
he goes, either I was soberand wolves were chasing me or there are

wolves where I was. But yeah, he had like I've heard people Paul
did it and he had a crazyexperience. People that do it. Here's
the thing that people that do itaren't like drug users. Usually they're like
people that are looking for something Idon't know if I'm looking for. They've
exhausted everything else. Nothing else doesit for him anymore. We still does

that for me. I got highin my backyard the other day and I
was like, it was very high, and I was like, hey,
these trees are mine, so weirdthought yeah, and they weren't planted with
meal, like no one thought it'sgonna love this in eighty years. But

now they're mine and they're not minefor ever. Someone else is going to
have these trees, and I hopethey remember me. I went out and
hugged every tree and thank you forbeing there. Yeah, wow, that's
hot for you. A couple morerandom questions. Is it true that you
believe Amelia air Hart is overrated?Yes? This also believes Stevie Wonder is

not blind? Okay, have alot of Yeah. Yeah, because you
stick your hand out to him,he catches it every time. So,
uh like, what about Amelia airHeart is overrated? She crashed? Yeah?
But then also you were shouting outthere was another woman. Yeah,
another woman flew from UK to Australia. How's there pie? She's dead.
She's crashed too, Yeah, theyall crashed. Spoiler alert something about a

woman in the air right Raby.Oh yeah, I'm feeling it. And
uh, you said you got abunch of other opinions. Oh I have,
I have millions of crazy he wildOkay, Like I'm all about inclusion.
Okay, if you're gonna have amovie about a trans woman, hire
a trans woman to play that transwoman. I agree. If by the
way, I get really into theweeds on this, I don't like.

I don't like when they hire blackdudes with British accents to play black American
dudes. I don't like that.Wrong, Martin Luther King, I don't
want to Daniel, I don't likethat. I don't like it. There's
a lot of black guys that cantalk. Like Okay, if you're going
to make a movie about a racehero and his wife, you better make
her as ugly as she was inreal life. She looked like a foot.

She was so unattractive. And yetthey bring in Sophia Vegara. Who
do they bring in? Who's cheatingon Penelope Cruise the whole movie. I'm
like, why would he cheat?Go back to Penelope Cruise. The other
girl looked like a seven for real? Yeah, for real? His mittress
looks like a seven. And you, Penelope Cruise, running your business,
loving you try and understand why youlost your son and how you dealt with

it. I'm here for you.And then you see a picture and you're
like, oh, I know Icheated. Yeah, she looks like Joe
Peshy like that. Yeah, andJude and his mistress is smoking. On
the real life, he banged tenson the ray. Yeah, on the
Ray. And you can expect outof a man who made that beautiful car.
Yeah, he makes that beautiful carand his daity. But then you
meet his wife, You're like,oh, he wanted beauty in his life.

He was married to this this monYeah. But yeah, and then
you see all the chicks he banged. You know, he banged all his
race car driver's girlfriends too. Yeah, he was a gangster. Yeah.
No, dude. Always great tosee you. I love you, guys.
Bert Kreischer, everybody on social mediaat Bert Kreischer I'll spell it k

R E I s c h eR. Also Bert bert bert dot com
for tickets to I mean, he'sgot the summer tour Tops Off World Tour.
Netflix is a joke comedy special.There's the vodka Porosos, which you
can go. I'm sure do youhave the information on the website? Like,
where can you get it? Ihave no idea, you have no

idea. We woul deal with TotalWine later. On today in all the
Austin, all the Texas. It'swide in Texas. Yeah, it'll be
five to seven pm total wine todayin Austin. If you if you're listening
on one on one X go seethe guys over there. And then the
Netflix Special with Netflix Netflix Special,I shoot July sixth, seventh and eighth.
Okay, Uh. And then andthen in two Bears, five K

two Bears five K is May fifth, I got the forum May eleventh,
June twelfth to June thirtieth, wehave the fully loaded festival to me in
seventeen comics, traveling five tour buses, hitting all outdoor venues, a couple
indoor venues. It's just a party. It's just an absolute party. And
then uh, and then I'll takea break and I'll be calling you guys
every day going yeah, hey,guys. When I come in studio,

you'd be like, what do youhave to promote? I do nothing.
Come on, you know, bythe way, I've told you a million
times, you don't have to haveanything to promote. I would love to
just come and hang. You werewelcome to come and hang anytime. I
would love that love. I lovehanging with you. Guys. Yeah,
me and you connect. We understandeach other, yes, and like in
like a way that only certain dudesget each other. Ye, it's why

you and Tommy would get along.You know. We should do U at
some point during your break either youcan come over my place, I'll come
over your place whatever, and thenuh, we'll drink and we'll just chat
gossip. Yeah, just general likebecause dude gossip. Yeah, yeah,
there's nothing you know the best likea dude date. Can I tell you
I had the best gossip in theworld, Well, the best gossip in

the world, oddly enough, isRogan. He's the funnest gossip with Yeah,
he is the best. He isthe best. He would never say
that he's not. He would,But Joe's such a fun and if you
get Joe and Tim Dillon together,Tim Dillon is my favorite gossip in the
world. He is so fun.He is so fun because he's so he's
like, I don't mean this bad, but like cruel in the funniest way.

Like Tim really is a throwback tothese guys that don't exist anymore.
Yeah, just old school smartest crapknows everything. Yeah, he's the smartest
guy in real estate in comedy andpodcasting. But man, the best that
is you get done to the podcastwith him. You walk into his car
and he opens the door and hegoes you got a second and shuts his
door and you're like, ah,all right, Bert Kreischer, everybody,

we got some more Woodes show comeingup for your next hang on. It's
fun to do that Woody showing.And we're into another new hour insensitivity training
for a politically correct world on thisTuesday morning. It is April the twenty
third, twenty twenty four. Thanksagain to the machine, Bert Chreischer.

If you missed our conversation with Bert, you can find the full conversation there
on the full show podcast once it'sposted after the show today the Woodies Show
there the Woodieshow dot Com. Allright, this hour, we got a
new redneck news and there's a lotin the news itself to get caught up
on. So Alec Baldwin, hehad a run in with this woman who

was pressuring him on camera to sayfree Palestine, oh wow, which Alec
didn't want to even get involved inright a little bit, you know,
other problems. She kept pressuring him, pressuring him, until finally he Alec
Baldwin don her and he smacked thephone right out of her hand. Wow.
Yeah, here's the here's the clipof that. Ali. Can you

please say free Palstine one time?Free Palistine, Alec, just one time
and I'll leave you alone. I'llleave you alone. I swear, just
saferee Palistine one time, one time? Why did you kill that lady?
You kill that lady and got nojail time, no jail time. Sounds
a CARDI B. Doesn't that?What he does caught us ounds a CARDI

B? One time? Why didyou kill that lady? You kill that
lady and got no jail time,no jail time, Alec, you put
it innocent people in jail, Alix, goold Win one time, Alex,
you know you's a criminal. Comeon, Alex, just say three Palace
that one time? And then theregoes surprise it took that long? Now,

well he's trying. He's like,I took angry management classes. Count
to ten, all right, now, count to twenty count two thirty,
just kept going, kept going.So this woman, she's got a podcast
called Crackhead Barney and Friends where shegoes out in a diaper with tape over
her cans white makeup smeared all overher face and she talks to people.

Oh my god, that thirsty.Was she dressed that way talking to him?
I didn't see what she was wearing. I'm looking at the video right
now, I can't see. Yeah, why didn't he just walk away?
Well, I mean, he wasin a place and he sounds like trying
to They were trying to get herto leave. He's trying not to Alec
Baldwin on her. Finally it gotto be too much. Finally got to

be too much, and that wasthe end of that. I hate to
defend him because he's such a douche, but oh man, I can't really
blame him, you know. FourWooding text us over to two two nine
eighty seven. If the most MatthewDon't ever day, it is keeping score
in a game of darts. RednickNews and today's redneck News is from Mount

Morris, Michigan, where a grandmotherwas arrested after she allegedly helped beat up
another student at her granddaughter's elementary school, Right elementary School. According to the
police, the grandmother was dropped offwith the granddaughter at McGonagall Elementary School and
they were there for all things abehavioral meeting, Oh, no kidding,

okay. So as they walked intothe school, Grandma spotted this other girl
who the granddaughter was having trouble with, so she and the granddaughter followed her
into the bathroom with throwing down Grandma. Grandma held the girl down while the
granddaughter punched her and beat her up. So the copture called Grandma arrested,
hauled off to the county jail.I'm not sure what happened to the granddaughter,

but I'm assuming that she's been suspendedor expelled. Yeah, I would
assume, so, I hope.So the school only commented saying that no
other children in the school were involvedor harmed during this incident and that the
safety and security of their students istheir top most concern. Blah blah blah
blah blah blah. So that's enraging, Yeah, horendous, grandma. So

they show up for a behavioral meeting, yeah, and then take this girl
into the bathroom, Grandma holds herdown. Yeah, Grandma's probably forty five
true. That's from Mount Morris,Michigan. Grandma helping to beat up another
kid at her granddaughter's elementary school.And that is today's read Nick, Yeah,

picturing not a forty year old.Yeah right, either way, a
twenty eight year old. Ye getit either way, great grandma, all
right, more when he shows down? Hang on? You know the Woody
Show if you go out in thehall and test fire and there's no smell

and then you come in here anyou far the Woody Show. Well,
do you guys remember Express that stortthe mall? Yes? Absolutely, yep.
Well, they have filed for Chaptereleven bankruptcy. They've been struggling for
a while and, according to thearticle, have had quote continued missteps over

its merchandise mix that failed to getshoppers excited. Yeah, he was just
overpriced to to start their planning toclose one hundred locations. But they're going
to continue to operate while undergoing seriousrestructures. It's mostly gonna end up being
just online stuff, yeah, becauseit's yeah, no more fashion. You
know, the cheaper stuff is justsuper popular. There was not really paying

a lot of money on clothes thesedays. Yeah, they're one of those
places that always have sales, soI think nobody really shops there when they're
not having a sale, and sothey're not getting full price really for much,
but they're always having sales. Justsay it's a sale. Yeah,
yeah, that's a lot better.Yeah, this shirt used to be thirty
Now, Like I said, you'renot going to pay that much for the
clothes from Express, even the fullprice, You're not going to pay that.

No, you're going to like Zaraand stuff like that. Let's see
what else is going on here?Oh, food news? Oh yeah,
what do you show? Food news? Nice? Do we need the official
sounder? Yeah? I do,probably food News Food News. All right,
So Taco Bell, you guys hadan announcement, not Joe Fries are
coming back? Come on nice?Really? Wow? Every four weeks they

haven't announced. I announced that theyLike they had that Taco Bell Live event
and they announced like forty five newitems, right, okay, announcement Taco
fries. I will say that Idried their canteena chicken. Yeah I heard
them advertising that now fire Yeah,I thought it was really good. Well,

Nacho fries are coming back nationwide beginningon Thursday. This is the eleventh
time they've been added back to themenu, but this time they partnered up
with this hot sauce company and they'rerolling out Secret ard Vark Nacho fries,
Secret Ardvart. That's the company,secret so crispy fries seasoned with Mexican spices,

top a slow roasted chicken, Athree cheese blend, reduced fat,
sour cream, nacho cheese sauce andsome pico is different, but it's a
secret nice Yeah, Secret Ardvarks asopposed to public Ardvark. Well, that's
the hot sauce Secret Mark. Yeah. Okay, I thought it was like
off menu and you just no,no, no, that's the name either

way, Nido right, Oh,this isn't really news. It's just since
we're talking about cheese food, there'sa social media trend where people are washing
their shredded cheese before they use itbecause of the dusty stuff that's on the
package. Shredded cheesewdery. It's ayeah, it's an it's an anti caking

agent, and so it keeps theshreds from sticking and you know, lumping
together. Now you're not going todrop dead from the stuff. Different companies
use different things, like Craft isjust using corn starch, Tillamook uses potato
starch. That hasn't stopped people fromdumping their grated cheese into a colander,
rinsing it with water, and thendrying it on a paper towel. Completely

ridiculous, completely unnecessary, because youcan just buy a block of cheese and
a brick of jeddar yourself. Whyare you going through all this? Well,
that's what Food Network will tell you. Don't buy the shreds because of
why not because of that specifically,but that they're just they don't have the

flavor the like a yeah, becausea lot of processing to keep it,
you know, longevity takes some ofthe flavor away. So if you want
really good cheese flavor, you haveto grade it yourself. I've never had
a problem of cheese flavor from yeaheither. I mean think about it,
like I think it's like I thinkif you did like a compare and contrast,

you would definitely notice the difference.Like people who are audio files,
they can really pick up like,you know, the most subtle instruments in
a recording of music or whatever.People who you know, do a lot
of video stuff, they can reallyI mean, the human eye can only
see so many pixels. They canonly see up too. I forget what
it is, but like there's allthis eight K stuff, and you're never
gonna really truly see anything that's eightk that you're gonna go, oh,

that's eight k, right, youknow, you can only see so much.
The average person like it felt like, you know, okay, so
the you know, Jamie Oliver,the naked chef, I'm sure maybe he
can detect a difference between the cheese. But I'm saying I bet we all
could if if you had it infront of you, actually graded from a
block and a bag. I don'tdisagree with that. Yeah, you different,

right, but these people are washingit off to get the the corn
star. You're going that far bythe block, so again greater, you
dump it into colander, you rintit with the water, you dried it
on the paper towel right now,So that's all messy. But also they
say you got it measured out first, because you shouldn't, you know,

put any kind of the cleaned cheeseback in the fridge, because even if
it's dried, it can develop moldfaster because you washed off the So morons
just get a block of cheese andjust shred it. Rate it up.
Our friend Randy was over at myhouse this recently and he made Callas with
the egg and cut up hot dogsand cheese. It was so good.

And what do you mean you puteggs in it? Put eggs, eggs
scrambled. It's a breakfast case.Yeah, instead of sausage, hot dogs,
Yeah, delish, Yeah, amazing. I mean it was two in
the morning, but oh well thenit's really good at in the morning.

That was yeah, best case ideaof life. That's good stuff. Man
ruled lead with that. Tom Brady'sgonna get roasted on Netflix. I saw
that it's being called the greatest roastof all time. Tom Brady's gonna be
hosted by Kevin Hart, produced byJeff Ross, who's the roast master.

I love those roasts. It's gonnabe Netflix's first ever live roast. It's
happening on Sunday, May fifth,eight pm Eastern. And I got a
who freaking care story here about KimKardashian, who's lost over one hundred thousand
followers on social media ever since TaylorSwift's disc track called Thank You Amy dropped.
Oh my god, oh lord,no, so now she's down to

what two hundred and fifty million atall? That's I mean, every time
you post, you lose followers.That's just how it is. Every time
you post, would like if youhave that many followers, you have that
many followers. Yeah, and Iknow she was posting at the same time
that that weekend. So why Idon't understand to explain that because people are
reminded that they follow you. Idon't want too Okay, I'm telling you,

it's just a coincidence. If that, if it was like, if
that was really affecting it, shewould way more followers than a hundred.
Yeah, that's a drop in thebucket. Yeah, that's not that.
A Florida couple they're facing criminal charges. They reported they tried cashing in a
fraudulent one ticket. So what theydid is they ripped up two different scratch

off tickets and they made a newone by taping the pieces from both of
them together. Now, yeah,a little work. So I read that,
I go, what made you thinkthat this was even gonna work?
But they had a whole story behindthis, because they brought it to the
lottery officials, and their explanation wasthat it got damaged. They say that
it fell out of their car duringa rainstorm and that she had tried to

scratch it before it was dry,and so that's why it started falling apart,
and that's why she taped it soit wouldn't get more ruined than it
already was. Yeah, nice try. They didn't buy it at all.
I believe they told the couple ofquote, you got to do a lot
better than this. So they werecharged of looking at a maximum sentences according
the FLOORIA law for this crime,maximum sentence of forty years in prison.

Oh my god. Wow, moneywon't be a problem because, like you
know, your house and and yourfood or I'll take you care. Yeah,
that'll be free for you. Ihave another million dollar story from the
eighties that I just learned about.Was I'm surprised that I didn't know this
story before. But the Oakland A'sthey were going through their accounting and they
noticed that they had an extra milliondollars that they weren't supposed to have.

Yeah, and they went through everythingand they realized that it was supposed to
go to the player, Ricky Henderson. So Ricky Henderson apparently got this check
and it was his first million dollarchecks. So what he did was he
framed it and never catched it.WHOA, are you serious? Yeah,
So they had to call him andsay, hey, Ricky, did you
cash it? Can you please cashit? Did you lose that check?

Where he's like, oh no,it's framed on my oh my god,
and they're like, yeah, youyou need to cash that will give you
like a copy of it. Ohmy god, so excited to give my
first But I just kept it likewhat are you excited about, Like if
you're not using the money or you'renot taking the money. Yeah. The
video I saw is him being interviewedabout it. Yeah, that's so far.

I was just like really excited aboutit. Yeah, so excited.
Greg. Imagine that, like it'sso rich. You get a million dollar
check and you're like, no,man, I'm gonna frame it, and
you lost money because you paid toframe it. Yeah yeah. And then
he goes, yeah, and Ididn't make any interest off it, So
yeah, I did lose. Itwasn't a thing involving the A's yesterday,

did you see it as Yankees?And so Aaron Boone he's the manager of
the Yankees, and he was angryat the first batter like got like a
called strike three, saying like heswung like he tried to pull the bat
back and so he had some wordswith the empire, and the empire said,
well, if you say anything tome again, you're out. This

was the first batter. So thesecond batter comes up, a guy who's
in the first row yells all kindsof crap to the umpire and the umpire
turns around and throws Aaron Boone up, and it's he was saying nothing,
yeah, but it was a guybehind him, Yeah, was shouting at

the umpire, and the umpire turnsaround rose the Yankees manager out of the
game, and he said nothing.I didn't say it, like it's clearly
decision was final. Decision was final. The umpire has doubled down on it,
saying he didn't hear the fan sayingit was coming from somewhere on the

Yankees bench's video saying it. Butthe umpires like, and because a Boone
is in charge of the Yankees bench, that's why I tossed him. Okay,
well, he's not in charge thefans. The funniest thing ever,
you gotta look it up, becausethis guy just screaming at the up and
he turns around. He throws theYankees manager out of the game. With

batter number two. Well, thatguy's got the coolest story ever. Yeah
I got thrown out. Yeah he'sthe fan. You got the you had
a great story. That's true,so funny. Alright, more what he
shows next? Hang on what exactly? What is this? What do you
show you? Everybody have a goodhearth day? So good, burned a

big pile of tires trying to getrid of nine Did you plant a tree?
I did not plan. It's justanother Monday for me. I saw
this. I saw this, postthis. This radio guy posted this.
He says, who doesn't care aboutthe Earth? There was an open letter
to It was the open letter tolike the millennials, the gen Zers people

basically say that like boomers and genX people don't care about the Earth.
What we had, like through middleschool, we had raised money to buy
trees for the Amazon where also,so check it out. I thought I
thought it was good. Here's theopen letter. Dear kiddos, Today's Earth
Day. And I read an articlethat implied the gen X and Boomers don't

care about the world they leave behindfor their kids and grandkids. And I
call bs. The reasons that mostboomers and Gen X don't worry about climate
change is that unlike the younger generations, we lived through the end of the
world quite a few times. WhenI was a kid, we had a
lady at our church who would turnher car off and she would coast her
car to stop lights to save gasbecause the world was running out, so

we were told. Scientists told usstupid general public people that there was a
limited supply of oil and that wewere running out fast. This was in
the seventies and eighties. We alsosurvived the hole in the ozone layer that
was going to kill us all becauseof big haired blondes and their hair spray
Aquinet. Fortunately they had a moreexpensive hair spray and that crisis was averted.

Nuclear war is going to be theend of the world, for sure,
but that was okay because we knewhow to duck under our desks at
school and we were prepared for anything. Also, back then, an ice
age was coming. Oh right,Let's not forget the book The Population Bomb
by Paul Erlik, who still atenured professor, in which scientists assured us
that there was no way that wecould feed the world once it passed a

five billion mark quote. I haveyet to meet anyone familiar with the situation
who thinks that India will be selfsufficient in food by nineteen seventy one.
In the book's nineteen seventy one edition, the prediction was removed as the food
situation Indie he is suddenly improved.In nineteen ninety, we were told that
by the year two thousand that entirenations will be wiped off the face of

the earth by global warming and climatechange. Quote a senior UN environmental official
says, entire nations will be wipedoff the base of the earth by rising
sea levels if global warming and thetrend isn't reversed by the year two thousand.
So isn't that we don't care aboutthe world we are leaving to our
kids. It's just that we've seenthis movie before. Interesting, good points,

very good points. Yeah. Youcan do whatever you want. You
can agree, you can disagree with. I'm just sharing that because I was
like, huh, interesting, wellwell said, I think boomers seem to
care more than most my parents.God, they're the greenest people I've ever
met. You know, that's ahenomenallyyeah yeah question, Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah, interesting. All right,older people they don't care. I

do see old people using like insteadof using a broom. They'll just get
the hose and hose off their driveway. It's called the broom, right,
it's pretty easy. Oh, it'sa water rake by the way, Greg.
Oh, yes, I thing Ikeep wanting for the driveway. Yeah,
you hook it up to your pressurewasher. It's a it's a water

broom, water rake. I've seenthat listen. Is a couple of different
things. And then they have theyhave the one that video I sent you
recently where it spins circle. Yeah, I saw that one too, and
yeah, definitely want that for thepressure washer. That's what I think about.
That's the drink. And then Iwent to the bathroom and I came
back and the planet totally changed,totally different experience. Oh no, no,

we wing Woody show right now.We're having some computer issue Network show
and we're into about the new hourinsensitivity trending for a politically correct world.

It's Tuesday morning. It's April thetwenty third, twenty twenty four, Woodie
Ravy. Yeah, great menace.There's sea bass right there. Yeah,
Sammy's here. Good morning. Phones. They're open at eight seven seven forty
four, Woody. That's eight sevenseven forty four. Woody. He also
hit some of the text over totwo two nine eight seven couple to Free

this hour. Bort's annoying coworker report. We gave much like we gave Greg
an outlet. Yep, you know, with his random thoughts, things that
he wasn't buying, and we're talkingabout that. This is this is really
good. So Bort doesn't burn theplace down, That's true. He always
says. If we ever hear ababy Metal playing from the studio, get

out. He often talks about gasolineand lighters. He does take the stairs,
he does, so Bort will bein with his annoying coworker report.
Speaking of one of the people thatannoy bought the most, Sea Bass,
I had something for you. Ohplease. I don't think you're getting your
cyber truck man anytime soon. Ithink they recall all of them. They
recall. Yeah, so they said, this recall applies to most all there's

they said four thousand cyber trucks areout there. Yeah, that's total.
But somebody broke the one of thepedals. Yeah, and so they just
want to something. Yeah, sothey want to Yeah, so what happens
The accelerator pedal can stick in placewhen it's pressed down. The safety regulator
said that workers assembling the trucks atthe Tesla factory near Austin improperly used soap

to aid in the assembly of thepad onto the accelerator pedal. And so
this applies to almost all the cybertrucks, and there's only I'm surprised there's
only four thousand so far. I'veseen several. I've seen it a lot.
Also, Tesla knocked two thousand dollarsoff the prices of three of their
five models. So you're still lookingat about forty three thousand for a Model

Y, seventy three thousand for aModel S, and seventy eight thousand for
a Model X. That's the theSEV one where the doors opened like the
like the Dolorean. But check thisone out. This guy, he took
his super sweet new cyber truck tothe beach. After he got it home,
he washed it, you know,to get the sand off and out
of the cyber truck, and that'swhen the screen went black. Wouldn't respond

at all, even after doing thefactory the factory procedure of rebooting nothing.
Tesla confirmed that the truck had neededa complete reboot, which took over five
hours of sitting to complete. Teslawasn't able to offer any insight as to
why the truck decided to stop working. They're not sure if it was caused

by the car wash or something else. But they did point out, and
this is the whole reason I'm bringingthis up, they did point out that
the Cyber Trucks Owner's manual does cautionagainst ever washing the truck in direct sunlight.
Thank you. What he's supposed totick, I don't know, guys,

but it's very clearly stated in theowner's manue supposed to not supposed to
wash your cyber truck and direct sunlight? You guys, how is this considered
a luxury car? That's the wholereason. Now here's the thing this is.
I love these headlines because and thatquote right there, because it is
so misleading. All of the allowner's manual say don't do do not wash

your car in direct sunlight because soapand water will evaporate too quickly, leading
leaving a film. What the owner'smanual didn't say is if you wash your
car in direct sunlight, it willshut down the headlines and the giggling Dufa
says, like, what a youare there? Love quoting these things,
spreading this information because it's got aflashy name, Tesla cyber truck. Okay,

without referencing the fact that every owner'smanual says the exact same. Okay,
does me any car manufacturer that doesn'thave a recall thank you? Does?
Does every car have to you putin car wash mode before you can
wash it? The Newes do?That's it recalls car wash mode, recall
drunk. Did you put it incar wash for Bronco sport fire risk?

Of course, ye, roll awayrisk, I've heard. But to use
your own point, this is alwaysthis is these are all supposed to be
superior. You're always talking about it'sthe superior, the absolute most perfect thing.
Ever, It's far from it.But that's the point. Is that
the name and the headline and theclick baitingess the menace always talks about it
sucks in dopes and losers like oneacross this room from me, and they

laugh and laugh and exactly like Joeto their Elon hate when he's out here
making the world better. Hey,you I like Elon. I just think
he makes a terrible car. That'sall other stuff. It's fair and look,
I can speak because I bought one, I had one. I'm speaking
from firsthand experience. VW calls twohundred and sixty thousand Eagles fuel tank.

You're right about that, You're absolutelyright about that. All cyber trucks I
saw that headline numerous Every cyber truckrecall. Every one of these other cars
are recalled too. When you getit. When you get it, just
keep your foot off the accelerator.Also, won't have to don't forget to
put it in car wash mode.If that brand is bad, this brand
can be bad too, right,That's kind of But what I'm saying is
they they they lead with these headlines. I guess the only thing happening he's

talking about grabby headline exactly. Specificoutlets are so desperate to have anybody like
go to their website or read theirsocial media, and then we constantly fall
for all this crap without even likereading into it. Reaching But the car
did have to be rebooted for fivehours after car to go somewhere. They

can't. They paid a ton ofmoney for this car. It sound like
this perfect thing, and it's notlike the other one. Did I lead.
First off, I didn't leave thissegment with anything, but I did.
I lead with I'm getting my cybertruck and it's the most perfect thing.
Never know, I'm saying it's cool, and I you're completely it's implied,
completely strong, just trying to saveyou from making a really terrible purchase.
That's all. Well, we shallsee. I've never seen one in

real life. You're like all thetime. One I see them. You
can't your little your little suburban bubblesand they'll get a real half five bro.
Yeah, that's it. Anyway,Seedbath says that people are just too
nice. Yes, unfortunately I haveto add another, Oh, nobody too
kind. Remember we had the issuewith the front desk lady. And by
the way, I love it becauseshe she was holding doors open too aggressively

for my taste. Oh god,but she is great because every day I
walked by, she's like detailing theglass out there because she has nothing else
to do. And I applaud herfor that. Be least she's she could
easily just sit there and do nothing. We've had those guys, Yeah,
yeah, we have. Well,Okay, so I went out of Greg.
I know you're gonna not like thepremise here, all right, But
I pooped at work, right,but I went out of the way not

to do it where I'm near anyco worker. I went, we need
downstairs in the lobby, out ofthe way toward the gym. Considered,
it's it's an out of aware rightexactly. You should should be private,
private, and almost always is.That's why I went down there. So
I get in there, about halfwaythrough my session, I hear the door
crack open. So what do Ialways do in public bathroom? Say?

Is I flush immediately so that theyknow if somebody somebody's in there, it
gives them a chance to turn aroundand leave, which is what I do
if I hear or notice anybody inthere dousing. And what I want to
do is so I don't want tosit two feet away from somebody. Have
you ever gone ins and bros andadjacent saws? I'm thinking, like,
what do you do exactly? SoI hit the flush and then the door
closes. I'm like, okay,boom, system worked absolutely great. Three

four minutes later, I'm all done, cleaned up, walk out, and
you know who's still standing there isthe lady who does uh? You know
I wasn't gonna use your name,Ray? Why not use the other ro
I did not know he didn't bitchthe lady who does all the cleaning in
the morning, she's there and I'mlike, in the bathroom right at that
door, the door, gotcha?Why are you waiting? You know what

I'm doing? Why do you wantto? And I appreciate that you're in
there to clean things, but whyare you wanting to go into that fresh
Hell? Yeah, she's a professional. Well, I don't bother she's a
pro. I mean she's just waitingto collect garbage whatever she's doing, garbage
mopping, wiping down the sink,whatever. Why are you doing that,

like to take a lap? There'sa fifteen other battles in this building.
I'm saving she was done, Idoubt it, to save me the embarrassment
of looking at you because you justknow what I did. That's greg to
your point. But do you care? Of all people? Do you really
care? I'm not going to,like, you know, cry about it,
but I think it's awkward exactly intoyou peed into a cooler in the
studio right in front of us.How is that? How does that make

her too nice? Because she's Ithink she's like she's too like willing and
ready to get to her jobs opposedto like too hard working. Maybe too
nice isn't the right word. Itmight be just too zealous, too over
zealous, maybe to two on it, too on it, Yeah, too

attentive. Yeah, it's like Idon't need you, and I know she's
not doing it for me specifically,but aren't you aren't you know? Don't
you feel awkward like I do?And I want to want to be in
that situation? Yeah, a fecalcloud. Right, there's always a thousand
things you can You can do anythingin this building. By the way,
the bathroom appears that you go towhat the private Ryan Seacrest bathroom is,
there's always hair on the floor.I think I don't think they know what

it is due because the yeah,they're they're constantly like doing their hair and
stuff in there, like the samehair for six days in a row.
So don't think they that's one ofthe bathrooms that leads to all the sewage
issues. Yeah, that's building.There always vacuum the moss bathroom, regardless
up on that show, that isalways to send in a snake. It

falls up the whole. But Tanyarat. I heard she takes big dumps,
That's what I heard. Yeah,yeahs sick ones. Yet in there,
I've run into her many times inthe bitch taking the point, there's
a thousand of the things in thisbuilding she could do. Why do you
want to sit there and just again, why do you want to sit there
in the whole way outside of abath and wait for three minutes wait for
somebody to finish and then to goright into the freshness. Maybe she's really

into it. You don't know peoplehere all the time, the fetish.
Yeah, I don't think that's her. I don't think that's her thing.
But I'm finding out there's a possibility. Maybe she's like like when what he
he just gets focused on whatever's next, the task. I'm just I'm focused
on this. This is my job. This is what I'm focused on.
I'll wait till his dude's done,take care of this onto the next thing.

I say, be more flexible.You'll benefit, It'll be in your
best benefit. You'll have to smellme. Speaking of smell, text here
says see Bass's bald spot must smelllike Elon's taint because this is his nose
is so far up Elon's. Butthat's a good one. That's a good
one. I'm putting out the obviousinconsistence. And by the way, Menace
is fully on board with me andthis one I am. But he's not
getting the taint smell hilarious, hilarityalways on top, and you're trying to

do things people are gonna exact dowhatever is Look, the jealous Menace once
invited to every party. That's hisbig gloves to be invited. Yeah,
that's what I mean. He wantsinvited to all wants to be invited.
So he's not gonna say that.That's the narrative, right, You're the
one I was saying all the time, like there's a reason we never get
invited the stuff. Yeah, whichis not important to me because you guys

make these car washer the sunshine jokes. I'm not understanding anything about what you're
saying. Now, Menace can't getinto the Tesla park. Oh yeah,
hello, welcome to another edition ofthe Menace Cooking Corner. Yes check now.
Today I'm going to give you areally quick recipe on how to be
a hit at any party. Ohyes, ship check out my hip.
Oh yeah, yes, you gotsome menace world famous wieners right there.

Thank you. Yeah, I likea wood shoe. All right, welcome
back everybody. We have bort here. Hey, everybody, it's up bort
Hey going just in general, howthings going before we get into your uh
into your update here. Ah,that's going. Yeah, it's going.
It's one of those weeks where youjust can't claw out of it. You

know, you're trying to get thatpit. It's just I'm trying. I
saw a cute little jack rabbit runacross the courtyard this morning. Got helped
a little bit. There's so manyrabbits. What I've been saying, we
should want to bring it to thestudio. Yeah, I like it.
So there's that. But you know, as we all do and everybody at
around the world, we all haveannoying super coworkers we deal with on the
daily. Yeah, so it's timefor boards. Every once in a while

we bring them in for the annoyingco worker report, because man, we
are surrounded by people who just dothe dumbest stuff. True, yeah,
but we just have the outlet tobe able to out them and bitch about
it a little bit. It actuallymakes bards fe a little bit better.
It's good for his mental health,which is good for all of us because,
like Greg was matching, he doesmention gasoline and lighter lighters and how's
going to burn the building out alot. I do have the lighters now,

but I'm still waiting for that gasolinerequisition to come through. I don't
know why it hasn't yet a littleboard. Who's first on your list?
Well, you know what, It'sfunny because this is a special Woody Show
centric annoying coworker report and to startoff, you know, thank you guys
for let me do this, getthings off my chest. I did find
out that I was doing the segmentvia Vaughn this week, of all people.

For some reason, nobody else wantedto tell me I was doing the
segment show the communications things incorrect.By the way, Born is on every
email that goes out for what we'redoing on the show the next week,
and I'm looking at it right now. You're on the list, So maybe
redream. You know, I wouldappreciate if somebody came and told me,

you know, it'll be nice.Like there's a couple producers on the show,
no offense, same Morgan. Nobodyread the email I'm just saying,
come on, all right, anyway, all right, all right, here
we go. First, one up, A coworker kindly decided to offer to
make breakfast for the rest of theteam by bringing in home appliances to cook
their food. Did they a setup in the kitchen down the hall to

prepare the food, be set upin the studio away from all the new
equipment, or see, do theone thing I told them not to do
and plug all the appliances in underthe board and possibly short on our backup
supply and fry it out a coupleof the outlets on the six strip way.
He's talking about me. I didn'twant to plug it in there.

I will say, bored. Christdidn't want men had an assist from what
he on this one. I mentionedeven, hey, guys, we had
some wall outlets over there. Yeah, and it was like outlets down here.
Well, because when we moved intothis new studio, the engineers were
first to point out to me thatwe have all this room down here.
Now we have more power strips rightunder the board for our convenient But I
kept on trying to plug it intothe wall, and you're like, no,

I trigued to keep it out ofthe way again. But if somebody
watched so many home shows, youwould know not to overloadlad doesn't. No
matter how many power strips, thereare still different breakers for different things.
Okay, and you should know that. And nobody there. They're pretty much
unused down there because there are twonew power strips for the purpose of plugging
and you're like a laptop if youwant to or something else. Hey,

by the way, nobody told meabout that. Hey, Bory, what
happened when he pluged those things in? Well that was fun trying to set
up the cameras one day. I'mhere one night trying to plug in all
the cameras. Why are the camerasnot connecting? And then try to set
up like power supplies for you guyslaptops, like why are these not working
now? And it's gone. Yeah, Well so there's that. We all
live and learn, right, ithappened. I learned before, but I

thought we were okay, All right, here's your next Woody show situation.
We receive emails on the weekly fromour company trying to test us. Yes,
this was an email from a managerrequesting to share some personal financial information
with us. Yeah, an exceptfile cloud service. Yeah, this turned
out to be a massive company phishingemail looked like this. It looks very

legitimate obviously, thank you, Butboy, we get emails from our manager
all the time trying to to sharepersonal information rights document. Yeah, so
who want the Woody Show fell forthis beautiful email? Was it a no
one b Greg Gory or see Gregoryand Sammy? Greg did? I did?

Dare you? It was both thewomen on my annoying coworker report it's
bored. I was. I wasinformed it was you somebody else just because
people assume it's me. It wasRay. Yeah. Greg couldn't eve figure
how to open the email. Hetried, tried and tried. It worked

for me. Yeah, pylon.You know what, Greg, I apologize
Ravy. You are now taking Gregspot as the technologically person on the show.
So many corporate people fell for itthat we had to do like this
whole twenty five minute training. You'rethe reason we had to do that trading
Yeah, not just me a lot? Well yeah it was only me and

Ravy. Was that the entire companyhas in this room? I mean that's
why I believe you guys, Andthen pushed it over the edge. This
is a Bort's annoying coworker report.Okay, this one is near and dear
special to my heart. This weeka woody show City recently had us off

the air for about eleven minutes.You can tell how much I love talking
about this one. Oh yeah.When asked if there was an issue,
we were told there was no problem. But you know what, in this
day and times, everything is recorded. I don't know why people try to
get away with stealing things in theoffice. Try not to come into work.
There's cameras, there's key cards,it's recording devices. Yeh, no,

I was there at whatever time.Where are you. Let's check the
key, let's check that, let'strack you. In this case, nothing's
wrong and then board's able to goback and check and see digitally what was
going on and if we really wereoff the air, And it turns out
yes, we were for a longtime. Right, So how did they
respond? Did they apologize to saywe will never have this issue again?

Did they apologize and say, youknow what, we will notify you immediate
the next time this happens. Andthey did notify us or see we had
to get another major off air issue. They lied, and they do not
understand the concept that we have recordingdevices everywhere we could pull it. It
proved their stupidity and email them aregonna go what happened. I'm gonna go
with c Yeah, I'm gonna gowith that too. Yeah. Oh they

don't know how technology works. Yes, No, I did. Uh.
I did talk to them after thatfirst time because I'm like, guys,
what the hell? And uh,because it's a really important city to us.
Sure, and they said they hadfigured out what the issue was and
it's normally not a problem. Butthe guy who was supposed to be there
organizing and making sure that everything thetrains are on time so to speak,

yep, like he overslept and andso things that were normally handled or where
weren't handled, and so things arejust running, you know, a muck
by themselves. Yeah. Wow,shocking. You know, so it never
happened again, right? Oh?No, well no, I guess it
just happened again this morning today.And the best part was what I reached
out about, you know what gotback to me until another boss loopted another

boss, so that immediately there wasan answer, which still doesn't sit right
with me. Exactly have NASA engineersworking in radio here. You know,
you think that we would, that'strue, But most people have a working
alarm clock. Yeah, usually whenyou mess up, you just like you're
on it for at least a coupleof weeks. Well, you know,
right exactly, you're actually showing upin the building taking care of business,

you know, especially if like oneof us was supposed to be in town
that day and maybe they need tolet somebody into the office and they didn't
show up, and then that person'sjust standing out. So I thought it
never happened to lounds like there's oneperson that's the issue, you know,
I say, there's lots of people. There are lots of issues around here.
Okay, yeah, tons of people, tons of issues. Yeah,
one more, one more, onemore, Okay, here we go.

How board's not quite he hasn't quitegot it all out. I'm still holding
back his hair as he vomits outall this aggression. Look, there's tons
of stupid things that happen. There'sthere's QR codes that we spend hundreds of
dollars on for studio reservation that don'twork and lead nowhere, and we have
to spend hundreds of dollars to redothem. There's you know, fire alarms
that go off and turn off airconditioners that we have to reset and apparently

nobody knows to reset it, andit cooks the studios and fries them all
night long. You know, theseare the things we deal with on the
daily. But this one is veryspecial. We here at the Woody Show.
We just celebrated our ten year anniversarywith a giant fiesta party bash right,
ten years without getting fired fiesta.And in those ten years, we've
had a slew of problems with allof our events, you know, whether

they are or station events, wealways have some situation that arises that messes
up one or more of us havingan issue getting into the event. Now
getting into our own events, ownevents. This is what we talked about,
by the way, guys when wetalk about like, hey, you
guys just think you're such big dealshot issue, Like do you want to
see what not hot ish looks likeus try to get into our own event.

Come hang out here for about fiveminutes place. And so here's the
best thing. You know, wehad a sprinter van commission for most of
the members on The Woody Show toget there right we're all arriving majority together,
and I don't trust it because thishas burned me many, many times.
And so after contacting multiple people toconfirm there will be no issues whatsoever

any of the members or our guestshaving any problems getting into the event,
how many members of the Woody Showhad issues getting into the fiesta in the
rain? Was it zero? Wasit would? Or was it seven plus
all our guests? I'm gonna sayit was just one and they just like
they mispuilled their name and again itwas but they saw the problem real fast,

right, anyone else? Any otherfu guests? I'm gonna say seven,
and everybody got poured on. Uh, you'd be correct. Seven And
we were stuck in the rain andour names on the list, and it
was one of those things where youcan't stand here, you have to stand
three feet right, okay, butthree ft here it's raining. And then
the best part, who are youguys? Right? We're the Woody Show.

Oh are your name on the list? Well, yeah, we're on
the marquis. Oh oh well you'renot on the list. We can't let
our party's fairy thing about security atany venues instead of oh there must be
a problem. Let me go findsomeone who can fix this for you.
It's nope, it's nope, gohome, sorry, see you later.
Yeah, that's the world we living, guys. It is what it is.
That's right, yep. So youknow you show up to the entirely

wrong place by accident, dude,fifteen minutes later at the rain and they
finally, so, what are eachof your names? We'll just write them
down to how that happened at oneof our our stations. I showed up
to just recing it recently. Isaid, Hi, I'm menaced from the
wood Show. And they're like,who from what show? I go And

they had the sticker for our stationright next to him. I'm like,
for that station? Oh so youwant to be a DJ for that station?
No, hire that station? Yeah. Also, to be fair,
it's a new station for us,and they didn't know he was coming.
He didn't tell anybody that he wasgoing there, So to be fair,
man, this isn't like twenty five, I said the Morning Show, right

anyway, bort, I hope youfeel better, thank you, guys.
I think I do. I feela little a little bit better after all
of this chaos, and you know, just read the emails man. Well,
you know, if you if youwant to be fair about it and
you want to like, you know, point out what other people maybe read
the email, because in this case, the what there was communication, there

was an email email to go outI was on every week with the next
email that I said, Sport,It's not on the show every week,
so well you know I'm not inthe meeting every week or in the week,
so you know there's that. Yeah, just read the email, That's
all I'm saying. It might mighthelp you out this is what I have,
or just skim it. We're goingto take a quick break search Sport
right when he shows next. Hangon, I feel I got diarrhea.

My mouth is trying. The woodShow. Were having a great time out
here, The Woody Show. Ilove it, it's great. Well,
there's this thirty five year old guyin England who's been trying to break a
world record for fastest marathon with anappliance strapped to his back. Oh large,

and uh he just proposed to hisgirlfriend while he was running the London
Marathon. You guys, uh huhwhile carrying a fridge, a fridge it
was strapped to his back. Heproposed at the twenty five mile mark.
He finished in under six hours damn, which is short of the record,
But congrats on the engagement. Wow. Yeah, he had a refrigerator strapped

to his back. Mentioned taking thatten feet. God, we're sitting here
with you know, Burt Kreischer's fivek and may Yeah, thinking like,
oh my god, three miles,Like even walking three miles, go huh
while carrying nothing. Yeah, no, things other than a big fat ass
yeah, which can carry around allthe time. Yeah, this guy's got
a fridge. Wow, that isso cool. I mean creative engagement.

Yeah, I mean you could havejust gone to like a soccer match and
had it up on the big screen. Dude, right right, done something
like truly original, fellow comrades andmediocrity. I want you to listen,
very careful. You can all gostraight to show. Oh no, I
think I'm about to have my period. It's a woody show. Here,

looks back, everybody, right,we are the Woody Show. Bravey's got
nerd. Now at the list ofthe world of nerds coming up here in
just a few moments. The Rockand Roll Hall of Fame. They've announced
their class with twenty twenty four,Ozzy Osbourne, Peter Frampton. Sure,
oh really's gonna be in there?Baby? Are these inductees are the inductees?

Definitely, they're getting it. DaveMatthews Band, Foreigner, Cool In
the Gang, Mary J. Bligeand a tribe called Quest, plus Jimmy
Buffet and Dion Warwick. They're beingrecognized for musical excellence. Okay. And
the induction ceremonies happening on October nineteenth, and it's going to stream live on
Disney Plus point, which where youjust you said you really you got like

some bundle or yeah, well bundlesa big thing together now, which is
on with Disney Plus now right,if you're bundled up? And is it
National Geographic is the other one that'swith it? National Geographic has been on
Disney. Yeah, it's always beenthere. Yeah, I've been going yeah
to that and I'm getting all ofthem now. And I started watching a
new it's a documentary, but it'sone that that had never popped up for

me before until the Bundle happened,which is rewind the nineties and I'm loving
it. But I'm discovering new thingsnow that the Bundle has happened because I
went to Disney Plus so much andnow there's so much more there. I'm
loving it. So this isn't thatthat document like the eighties the nineties,
Yeah, the one that was notnot the ones that CNN did, Okay,

the Dark Side of the Nineties,and that's thing as well. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, because maybe youweren't a fan like when when Max
combined HBO with like Discovery, Right, So it's just bundling because like,
how do you feel about this DisneyI love. I love the way they
did it. It's so streamlined,easy to navigate. Plus, Hulu's content
I already want. Like the bigissue I was having with Discovery Plus was

that's not content I want. Ohso I don't. I have no,
I don't want to see HGTV contentor whatever hell else is on there,
TCL whatever it is, CLC likethat. I have no interest in that,
but I have a lot of interestin what's going on on Hulu.
Yeah, so this rewind the ninetiesis just like, is every episode like

about you know, music, moviesor they kind of focus on one thing.
Yeah, exactly, it's all differentkind of stuff just like that.
That's you know, Beanie Babies,the Titanic movie, you know, also
like going into Y two K.Yeah, all kind of the big deal
stuff at the nineties. It's cool. I'm enjoying it. Nice. Yeah,
I kind of feel like I'm I'mkind of burned out on because there
were so many of those decade documentarieslately. Yeah that like movies You Made

Us or The Dark Side of theNineties or there's just been a lot of
those. I feel more recently,I feel like I watched all of them,
and so now it's like, Idon't hear another baby transitioning into the
biopics. There's gonna be so manybiopics coming out. Your favorite Bruce Springsteen,
who's the other guy that I hatethat? Bob Dylan. Yeah,

yeah, he's gonna be that one. Was the other guy I hate?
Yeah, a bunch of biopicks comingout like crazy. Uh. Speaking of
stuff to watch, I hope youweren't too big a fan of so helped
me Toddy get canceled or cs IVegas both have been canceled by CBS.
Didn't see CS I Vegas. Wasn'tthat like that was I thought? And

then we came back because the originalcs I was Vegas, Vegas, but
they they didn't they didn't call itcs I Vegas, but they felt like
they had to put the Vegas onthere because there's so many other ones.
Now, Oh G, I ruled, Well, you didn't apparently you didn't
watch the reboot. No, Idid, not your fault. But other

reviewer other than sports, I can'tthink of the last time I watched just
television, Like, yeah, whereI've gone on because I got I've got
I've got direct TV, but Ican't tell you the last time I've turned
it on, went to the guidelooked for something to watch. Oh I
do. I flipped through the guideevery day other than sports, other than

sports, because the rest of itis just I'm going on to the streaming
services and I'm streaming stuff. Likethe other day, I was watching I
don't know, the Hobbit or somethinglike that, you know, just mindless,
yeah, watching while doing other stuff. But I looked through the guide
to see what movies are playing andstuff and pop it on. I watched
news all day, Yeah, everyday, I watched news. Yeah,

Like I feel like I could justcan't old you know, direct TV altogether,
right, and just use the streamingstuff. Definitely could, but I'm
not going to be sports would issue, right, and then inevitably every single
time, like where I don't haveyou know, whatever was historically let's say
I didn't have HBO. Yeah,that's for something that would want to watch

her. They oh, sorry,you got to subscribe to that, you
like, click on it, andI think that you still had it or
forgot damn it. I don't havethat one. But you have nothing's on
the stuff that you are paying for. Yeah, but I mean your only
true sports allegiance is NHL and NFL. True, and you you can see
all those without I have the subscriptionfor for both leagues. Yeah, you'd

be fine. Yeah, all right. A couple of the holidays. Today,
let's see Greg Gory. Day's NationalPicnic Day. Let's go to a
picnic. How much you love picnics? And also for Greg, it's National
Lover's Day. Nice, rave Otay'sMovie Theater Day. Nice. It's also
National Email Day. And it's aschool bus driver appreciation day today. School

bus driver. Yeah, I usedto love riding the bus. Give them
crap. I kind of feel likemy kids have missed out on a rite
of passage because, uh, mykids have never been in a situation where
they had to take the bus.There wasn't even a bus offered because we've
lived close enough for the like eitheryou walk or you get driven to school,

and then we move them to adifferent school and now it's like my
wife's got to drive them over there, so there's no school bus. That's
where so much fun happened, somuch totally. Yeah, all kinds of
cool stuff happened on the school bus. You learned so many things right that
they don't teach you in school.School Bus Driver Appreciation Day today with Raby.

Alright, what's happening in the worldof nerds today? Well, I've
had a boner for almost twenty fourhours. Marvel released the trailer that they
put out it's in Amcon in Vegasfor Deadpool and Wolverine, So I do
have good news. At the endof it. Both Ryan Reynolds Deadpool and
Hugh Jackman's Wolverine back to back saylet effing go and then l f G

my absolute favorite. But at leastafter they say they actually do go somewhere,
so it definitely works for me.Yeah, But when they said they
didn't say where they were going.Well, they're jumping through a portal.
We don't know where they're going,but they're going. They didn't say LFG
to the portal or through the portal. They didn't, so you were obligated
to hate it. You can't likeit. It's nerd crash trailer sucked.

And then there's a hilarious exchange atthe end with Deadpool and blind Owl involving
cocaine. Like She's like, shewants to do some cocaine and he's like,
no, Kevin Feigey like says,we can't do cocaine anymore. So
she keeps giving all of these differentdescriptors for cocaine. He's like, no,
oh, you can't do that cocaine. We can't do that cocain.

Blind Owl played by Leslie Ugham's whowas actually having a moment. She's the
bomb in American fiction and she's OverseerBetty in Fallout and blind Al has been
in all the Deadpool movies. Thoughthis is Deadpool and Wolverine, do not
call it Deadpool three. It's gonnabe in theaters at the end of July.
LFG. Her last name is Ugham, Leslie Ugghams Ugums. She's a

legend. He has credits as longas your are. What was that one
you were talking to Greg about somebodyoff the air? He was talking about
Shooty Gattwa in Shooty. Who isthe new doctor? Who director? Oh
no, No, he's the star. He's the new doctor in Shooty.

And he was Eric on sex educationin the shoot in the shoot of Kaka
in Chotkaca. Yeah, it'll beinteresting. They did a special with him
as the doctor. Already, Iwas not sold keeping at Marvel. Tom
Hollands said he's currently involved in thedevelopment of Spider Man, saying quote,

this is the first time in theprocess that I've been part of the creative
so early, so I'm just kindof watching and learning. It's just a
really fun stage for me. Healso talked about following up a movie that
everybody really really loved in Not SpiderMan, No Way Home, his third
Spider Man movie, saying quote,we have the best in the business working
toward whatever the story might be,but until we've cracked it, we have

a legacy to protect. The thirdmovie was so special in so many ways.
We need to make sure we dothe right thing. And he's also
he doesn't talk like bad about SpiderMan. Oh, hey, you're still
doing Spider Man stuff. Spider Manfor He's like, hey, I have
a career because of Spider Man.He's like, I'll always go back to
Spider Man. I love doing it. You know my name Tom Holland because

of Spider Man. He's like,of course, I'll keep doing it.
I'll go to that well all day, every day. I'm Rabian. For
more nerd stuff, check out thenerd No podcast at the Woidies show dot
com. Did you sell that story, by the way, about Giancarlo Esposito,
who played a Gus Frings on BreakingBad and Better Call, is a
bad guy in a lot of things. Yeah, Yeah, he's got some

He's got some news show. It'sa drama. It's on AMC. It's
called Parish. I don't know muchabout it, but he's a driver in
New Orleans. But he's been out, you know, doing a lot of
promotion for that. And he wasdoing an interview and he was talking about
how right before he got the BreakingBad role, uh, which obviously turned
things around for him, he wasscheming his own murder. He was going

to set up his own murder,so that his his wife and kids could
get the insurance money for real becausehe was so broke. What Yeah,
I was dark, dark, it'sdark, he said by way out.
My brain was, hey, doyou get life insurance? If someone commit
suicide? Did he get the bread? My wife had no idea why I
was asking this stuff. I startedscheming if I got somebody to knock me

off death by misadventure, my kidswould get the insurance. I had four
kids, and I wanted them tohave a life. It was a hard,
hard moment in time. I literallythought of self annihilation so they can
survive. And that's how low Iwas. Yeah, oh damn what But
man, what a great actor.Yeah, what a great character. That
whole gusring and was super temporary Madaloreanthe boys like he shows up quite another

Netflix thing, The Gentleman. Ithink it's called. Yeah, Okay,
it's good. He's doing fine.Now Wow, thank that. I'm glad
he didn't go through with it.Yeah, no kidding, all right,
thank you very much, Rabels.You got time for your birthdays and your
porno birthday shows. We're gonna it'sshiver, we're gonna sit, it's say,

and you know we don't do allright. Starting with the celebrities.
He started his show the same yearthat we started our show back together.
John Oliver, Oh, last weektonight he's been been for ten years.
Yeah, I'm doing that for tenyears. He's forty seven years old today.
Last week's night is the show Usee. You got Valerie Burtonelly and

she's sixty four. John Cena,he's the famous WWE and by the way,
he's the Make a Wish Foundation's numberone wish grant Rushia. I'm making
some wishes come true. Yeah,he's forty seven today. George Lopez,
who we've heard is just a dick. Yeah, I've never heard anything.
I think people have recently turned aroundon him actually like that. He's nice

now that Yeah, he's humbled himselfreally allegedly, that's what I heard.
George Lopez is sixty three. CalPenn from the Harold and Kumar movies.
He was also didn't work for likeObama. Yeah, and he's all gay.
He's forty seven years not just kindof gay? Is it? G

Hadid? Yes? I don't knowwho that is, but it's a model,
right Yeah, yeah, yeah,I didn't know that because I was
asking around the room, like,do anybody know who this is? Yeah?
I had no idea, you No, I didn't know. I wouldn't
recognize her in a lot models.I know the name, Yeah, just
show me your button not probably likea dog. Yeah, what's her butt
game? She's twenty nine years old. Today you got Chloe Kim the Olympic

gold medal snowboard. I would recognizeher in a lot twenty four see dev
Patel from Some Dog Millionaires thirty fourand Joyce de wit Janet from Three's Coming,
Hey, Joyce Survivor. She wasthe eye candy on the show.
She's seventy five, Joyce, andyou're that's right. The only one left
from the old Yeah and your pornobirthday today is Cia Sebrera. And she's

been on more wieners than mustard.You guys. Wow. She's been in
one hundred and forty five fine films, including butter My Ass Volume one.
Here you go, Ray, compulsiveGambler, Orgy. Oh wow, you
know you're gambling and then all ofa sudden orgy breaks out. Of course.
She was in Velma and Daphne Doanal nice. Also no cash,

just sex with the pizza delivery guythat she was fantastic and can't get enough
of her pie volume one and uhGreg who could forget her unforgetable role and
hot roommates play with their dildos inthe bath. Yeah see that's another one.
So yeah, hell and that movieis just goes strake the point that
is a C. S. Sebrerawho is twenty nine years old today,

and that is your porno birthday,your celebrity birthdays. And that is a
Tuesday morning look at what's happening inthe world nerds through nerd and not report.
We're gonna take a quick break.We got some more Woody Show for
you. Next, hang on,don't go anywhere. The Woody Show will
be right back. Buila wouldn't approvethe Woody Show. And that's gonna do

it for Tuesday morning, everybody.Yeay, we had the Woody Show full
show podcast waiting for you if yougo to the Woodieshow dot com. And
first we would like to thank ourgood friend. He is the machine,
the shirtless one, Bert Chryscher.Fun find him on all social media platforms
at Burt Kreischer k R e Is c h e R or his website

Bert Bertburt dot com. He hasgot dates, I mean all over the
country. This guy is on histops off world tour. Just more excuse
to take a shirt off in frontof large amounts of people get naked.
Really, we talked about that alittle bit right when he was here.
But everywhere from La to the Netflixis a Joke comedy festival, to Austin,
Texas, where he's gonna be atthe Moody Center that's gonna be on

May eighteenth, to that brand newvodka that he and Tom Segura launch called
Porosos, which he hopes to havenationwide sometime here in the next twelve months.
It's been a slow rollout, butit'll happen. Yeah, So Bert
Kreischer thanks to him for being intoday. Also brand new redneck news,
trending news headlines raves nerd now thatmore find at all on today's podcast.

Just hit up the Woody Show dotcom. Coming up for you on Wednesday.
Apparently this AI music Generator has beenall the rage. Dude, it
is mine blowing. Yeah, soSea Bass had a little fun with that.
I think Vaughn's got a couple ofthings nice for the AI Music Generator
we'll have that for you tomorrow.Plus anything that you want to leave us

on the after hours voicemail. Youcould do so in the meantime between now
and tomorrow. Just call eight sevenseven forty four Woody. That's eight seven
seven forty four Woody or finals followus on social media, any social media
platform. Look for us at theWoody Show. All right, ye braby
mana sea bass, Sammy iything youlike to add, no Greg Gory party
words of wisdom please? Yeah,don't go to bad angry, stay up

all night and plot your revenge.Love that speaks to me and I'm not
interested in like a quick play.Oh that's true. I will do the
slow play. You have patience whenit comes to that. I want the
long play to like you know wherethey they've forgotten about it, not you,

not me. They see me,they go oh yeah, or something
happens and they remember me and theygo, oh, oh that was you.
Damn it. All right, Thankyou very much, Greg Gory,
thank you so much for giving theWie Show some of your valuable time this
morning. You know we'd love toappreciate you for that. The rest of
you guys can suck it. We'llcatch you back here on Wednesday. Have

yourself a great day. SMDBM,I quit this bitch.

The Woody Show News

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC
Let's Be Clear with Shannen Doherty

Let's Be Clear with Shannen Doherty

Let’s Be Clear… a new podcast from Shannen Doherty. The actress will open up like never before in a live memoir. She will cover everything from her TV and film credits, to her Stage IV cancer battle, friendships, divorces and more. She will share her own personal stories, how she manages the lows all while celebrating the highs, and her hopes and dreams for the future. As Shannen says, it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, it’s about how you get back up. So, LET’S BE CLEAR… this is the truth and nothing but. Join Shannen Doherty each week. Let’s Be Clear, an iHeartRadio podcast.

The Dan Bongino Show

The Dan Bongino Show

He’s a former Secret Service Agent, former NYPD officer, and New York Times best-selling author. Join Dan Bongino each weekday as he tackles the hottest political issues, debunking both liberal and Republican establishment rhetoric.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.


© 2024 iHeartMedia, Inc.