The Woody Show May 30th 2023 Podcast

Oddest place you knocked one out, Redneck News, News Headlines & More!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Let's due to the graphic nature ofhis program. Listen to discretion. Is
it fly the Woody Show, It'sthe Woody Show. Insensitivity Training or the

(00:29):
morning Clean con class is now insession. Hey, good morning, everybody,
good, good morning. It isTuesday morning. It's me the thirtieth,

(00:50):
twenty twenty three, and uh herewe are after the holiday weekend.
Back up, that's over. Butyou're right, that's the That's all I
kept thinking, drag on longer,too long, making but here at the
beginning of a shortened week, youlook at it that way. Week,
it's already Tuesday. It's already Tuesday. See, already Tuesday. We are

(01:14):
the Woody Show. I'm Woody.That's raving. There's Greg Gory, Menace
is here. What we've got SeaBass, We've got Sammy Good morning.
There's Borts, we got Caroline Morganis here. Vaughan is our video producer.
We got the phones open for youat eight seven seven forty four,
Woody A's eight seven seven forty four, Woody. You can all set this

(01:34):
up with that text over to twotwo nine eight seven. While this past
Sunday was National Masturbation Day, wehave a topic for you today. What
is the oddest place you have knockedone out? Good? Yeah, so
what is the oddest place you lookat the ideas? Yes, to be
inspired. I mean Greg likes doingsex stuff outside I do. Yeah,

(01:57):
yeah, is something of it?It's just like the naughty of it or
is it just like different the waythe air hits? Yeah? Maybe all
of it? You know, it'sfun, all right? Awesome? What's
up of the feedback from Facebook andfrom the after hours voicemail plus your calls
in your text that you can callin with this morning? He'd also be
anonymous. You don't got to tellus obviously, you understand with the subject
at hand. Ah, yep,subject at hand. Yeah, that was

(02:22):
not planned, I swear to you. But yeah, that's coming up for
you today. Also brand new rednecknews. We got the trending news headlines.
Brave is gonna be nerding out beforethe hour is up here on the
Woody Show, Uh, let's goback through and get some of the follow
ups. You know, people theylisten to the show on the podcast.
It's kind of like TV shows atthis point. I mean, you know,
you get around to when you getaround to it, and so people

(02:45):
might not be able to call inand share while the topic is going on,
or you know, while the conversationon the show is going on.
But they leave messages on the afterhours voicemail eight seven seven forty four.
Woody, Like, we were talkingabout who's the most embarrassing per person that
you know, and we got thisafter hour's voicemail. The most embarrassing person

(03:05):
in my life is my mother inlaw. We were in a drive through
one day and she paid cash forher mill and the person accidentally dropped a
quarter on the ground, twenty fivecent, and she made a huge deal
out of it, made the managercome to the window so that she could
get her twenty five cents out ofthe register because she didn't want to get
out of the car. And Iwas so embarrassed and my wife was mad.

(03:30):
So my wife ended up just givingher a quarter so that we could
leave. It was insane. Ilove you guys, have a good one,
all right, all right? Thisperson left the message is David.
Old friend would do coke and drinkso much. We went to a party
and I left for like fifteen minutesand I came back he was already blacked
out. Okay, yeah, andthat's so. There are those people too,

(03:53):
like they cannot handle their alcohol orwhatever it is. We had a
friend like he could never just havea beer. He had to have a
case of beer, fifty beers andjust getting like completely sloppy. Yeah,
and then regret it the next thing. Oh yeah, uh, Jason says
myself. Aside my dad, hewould tell cringey dad jokes to random people

(04:16):
so much that Sea Bass would ripout what little hair he has left.
He talks so loud. The onlypurpose for talking that loud would be to
warn people of an incoming nuclear strike. Oh geez, and his dark side
of the moon. His ass crackis always showing. Oh nice, It
sounds like a big dumb lunk.Yeah. I mean that my dad would
do stuff which I would love todo. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for

(04:39):
the right moment to do this withmy son. You're already doing it to
your son. No, not thisway. Um, Oh, You're waiting
on the perfect moment to do whatto pull this one one? This one
move out that my dad did.Yeah, Like, we were driving down
the street and there were like acouple of chicks walking down the sidewalk.
Who are about my age at thetime, and he slowed down. He

(04:59):
rolled on the window and he goes, hey, girls, my son loves
you. And I was like readyto die because I was probably like twelve,
you know, thirteen years old somethinglike that. That'd be uh good,
yeah, stop it. Oh mygod. He would hate it so
hard. Right now. I justdid this to him recently at the at
the grocery store and toward the endof the aisle so I could quickly go

(05:23):
to the next one, and soI kind of let him to believe that
we were going to go down thatone. I stood there, I cut
a fart, like a loud one, and then went Jesus man, I
use his name, like, ohmy god, Shark. And I went
and I'm like, I'm going tothe next aisle. And he was like
standing there and the woman was likelooking at him, and he's like,
it wasn't me, dude, Ican't bring you anywhere, man, Solid

(05:47):
move, solid move. Yeah.I thought that was good. Yeah,
they're funny because they're from your butt. Here's another one after hours voicemail.
Hey, what do you show.My most embarrassing person that I know is
my cousin who is now in hismid forties and is still living with his
mom and dad. He's tried movingout a few times, but he is

(06:11):
back to living with his mom anddad. He's the kind of guy who's
worked at a bar his entire lifeand has had a couple of DUIs.
Because of the fact of him workingat a bar, he always ends up
partying every night that he worked,so it's less of a job for him
and more of just a hey,this is just how i'd make money while
I also get to drink. Andhe also had an unwanted child when he

(06:32):
was in his lower twenties. Thatchild is now eighteen or nineteen years old
and off in college. His childwas never part of his life except for
when he was first born up untilabout three years old. This guy also
just doesn't ever seem to want todo anything motivationally to get his life together
and move out by himself in stateby himself. So that's all I got

(06:56):
for you, And we all knowthat person, and he doesn't want to
go. I got to pay.Yeah. I think every family has one
of those. Yeah, somewhere inthe family. Maybe a cousin might not
be like a brother's sister kind ofsituation. But like every family's got one.
Yeah, I can think of oneon pretty much all see my family,

(07:18):
my wife's family. The only thingis like in my mom's side,
I can't think of somebody on mymom's side, but on my dad's side
for sure, and then on mymy wife's side for sure, like one
of those people who just can't gettheir life together. And that's that's a
super fun lifestyle when you're twenty four. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no

(07:38):
exactly. Like on my dad's side, my uncle Dennis, he's like the
biggest loser always God, always beenthe biggest I've never been anything but nice
to him, and he's just alwayssuch a dick. Really yeah yeah,
and it's like you've done nothing withyour life, dude, Well it's nothing.
One guy asked you about concert ticketsor something. Yeah, yeah,
oh yeah. He got mad atme one time because after being a dick

(07:59):
to me pretty much my entire life, Um, he asked me for concert
tickets to something which I didn't haveaccess to. And because I couldn't get
that, you know, he toldeverybody that I was a dick and I
thought I was better than everybody,and like talking about yeah, something like
that. I'm like, we don'teven live in the same city, right,
I don't have access to them.Sometimes I can pull that kind of

(08:20):
stuff off, you know, butfor whatever reason, I forget who it
was at this point. Yeah,that's basically the plot of It's Always Sunny
in Philadelphia. Right outside of theDanny DeVito character, it's just a bunch
of people like the bar lifestyles therething, and they just keep doing it
and doing it. They get olderand older and they're living. And the
thing is, the people who areenabling them most of the time are people

(08:41):
who you love dearly. I know, you know, why are you Why
are you enabling this person to justbe such a loser mood? Oh my
god. Sometimes those people who letthose people just skate on buy are the
hardest critics on you. Yeah,yeah, in your life. Yeah,

(09:01):
that's what I'm saying. Agree withmy uncle. It's like he's always got
some kind of comment for me,Right, But dude, I haven't.
I haven't lived at my parents' housesince I was fifteen. What about you?
Yeah, bitch, Yeah, yeah, Dennis, you're still there,
Dennis, you would be my grandfatherhadn't a ditty What has still been there,
you know. It wasn't It wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't until Aunt

(09:22):
Chrissie and her husband bought the houseand Chrissy kicked him out. Get out.
You can't be here no more.She calls him uncle dumbass, Uncle
dumbass. Anyway, thanks for usyour feedback there as always, you can
get us on that after hours voicemaileight seven seven forty four Woody Uh and
then of course Facebook and all theother ways social media as well. Where

(09:43):
does Dennis live in an apartment?Uh? Get a job? He?
I think he lives with somebody basement. Yea, it might be a baby.
Who knows. I haven't seen himin years. All right, more
what he shows next? Hang onthe Woody Show. Hey, yo,

(10:05):
yo yo, This d Rock fromthe y Ain't Twins sitting a specials shout
out to my favorite radio show,The Woody Show. Y'all already, No,
y'all be working and shaking it likea thought. Take alf I welcome
back everybody. Yeah it is theWoody Show. It's Tuesday morning. We
are going to get into some ofyou. Don't want to have something different

(10:28):
for you today, all right?Instead of The Woody Show, mail call.
Yes, I have something different.It's um, it's out of context
clips o nice, which are alwaysfun. We'll get to that here at
a second. Raby's got nerd andout coming up in just a moment.
A couple of the holidays. Today, May thirtieth is International Hug your Cat
Day, Ray International Hug your CatGet Hug. Probably not, I don't

(10:52):
think. I wouldn't imagine they would. I always give them kisses and I'm
like, I'm sure you hate this. Today's a National Creativity Day, National
e bike Day. That's that.And a smoker the two things I've been
considering getting for the longest rod smokerlessons. They don't do it. Yeah.
Yeah, there's so many e bikesout there. I just don't know
if i'd end up. Ye,i'd probably use it a couple of times.

(11:15):
Yeah, yeah, what would youdo? Would you go into Sunday
Rides Menace? Yeah? I knowof an e bike trail that you can
go to for like miles specifically.Ani, Yeah, it's for like trail.
No, it's for like electric it'slike the road electric items for you
to ride. Oh yeah, Ididn't know there was like specific item.

(11:37):
Yeah, it's pretty cool. Todayis a National Hole in my Bucket Day
whatever that is. It's National MintJulip Day. Oh yeah, which I
thought that would be more around theKentucky Derby thing. Yeah, but we're
like wakes past down, bop ondown and get one. Which did he
like the mint julips? I lovethem juelips? And today is uh,

(11:58):
just because it's my wife's name,it's national jet for a day. Yeah,
so a couple of holidays thing.All right, Um, these out
of context clips today? These areall Ravy clips. Oh wow, yeah,
get ready to horn well because likewe always have these uh you know,
we used to call it a weekand non sequiturs where this listener right

(12:20):
used to um, yeah, heused to listen to the show pool clips
from the podcast and then it waslike all these like little out of context
um statements that were made throughout theshow throughout the week, and we would
play those and um. Now sowe have like, of course, all
these different folders of different clips thatwe've pulled out. Hey, Bart,
we're gonna need that right. Um. So here I've got a bunch from

(12:43):
Ravy, starting with some of themore some of the more recent ones.
Oh my god, my boner isso huge. Yep. Right, that's
like being horny and stuff. Itgot me hard. That's a good one.
That's a horny trigger. Yeah yeah. How about this one? German
German late? I say like amenacism germal late? Yeah, what were

(13:07):
trying to say? German German latelate? I don't even know what you're
trying to say there, germal late? Uh can we put a pillowcase over
your head? Oh? I'm ahuge connoisseur of porn. Right, yeah,
that must have been from my Ohhey, since we're doing our topic,

(13:30):
what's the oddest play said? You'veknocked one out? Or mutual Joe
or mutual joey good idea. Yep. They can invite all kinds of negative
demonic influences. Oh yeah, we'veheard that's what we tried to be a
preacher. That's a famous clip.Yeah. Uh oh, here we go,
hungry for d Yeah, there wego. Wh Wow is that your
next tattoo? Yeah? Yeah,Greg, I swear there's nothing in my

(13:56):
butt survey that continues to hold true. Right huh yep, yeah, yep,
I know I had another one.Oh wait, hold on, how
about how about this one? Myvagina and ass are holding up well.
Congratulations that we're proud of you.You guys wanted to know. I wondered

(14:22):
how your ass is holding up up? Well? How do you find this
out to the doctor recently? Andis that the medical Uh? Yeah,
that's what the guino says your report, Your ass and vagina are holding up
well? Well, thanks doc,Thanks doc for that official diagnosis. Say

(14:45):
that's good because my ut has beenin motion. I don't even know what
this one. It's just labeled areally weird with horror birth. Horror birth,
horror birth. Right, maybe thatwas one of those slut animals at
a zoo that possibly Yeah, probablymost likely poor berth elephant or something.

(15:07):
What are you hiding or yeah,jeez, rave, But I like his
body as well? Wow? Talkingabout Greg. Obviously I would have sex
with Kim Jong un. Wow?How was that confession? Yeah? Easier

(15:30):
number one. You know I likea dad body, you know, I
go for it and here I'll leaveyou this one last me in my ass?
Oh good lord? Well it isholding up well? Well? Well?
Yes, at the doctor maybe getsreally really crazy sometimes. Well,
this is a horny show. Isit next to Greg. I'm young,

(15:54):
and sexy. Yeah, apparently,well quit a couple of couple out of
contexty clips there for those are goodas we get into this round of nerd.
Now this is with what's got youall nerdy on this Tuesday morning?

(16:18):
Their Rave. So Max is hereand all the glitches have been worked out,
you know, it's working well now. But they did have to go
back and make a change up tosomething nuclear stupid that they did, okay,
which isn't shocking because I mean theyalready went from HBO Max to Max
and now nobody knows what the hellit is. But this one thing they

(16:40):
did really pissed off content creators becauseyou would click on the details of something
and writers, producers, directors wereall lumped together in what they would call
creators, and so there were liketons of screenshots of this, like Raging
Bull, for example, instead ofdirected by Martin Scorsese, he's listed in
the creations after Peter Savage, whichokay. Steven Spielberg was listed third in

(17:06):
the creators of Catch Me if YouCan, Jonathan Demi listed third in creators
of Silence of the Lambs. SoMax was getting attacked from all directions for
doing this. Writer director, Stephende Night. He's worked on Daredevil,
Buffy and Angel. He dubbed thecreators grouping as an absolute master class and
how to f up a streaming service. Max has pivoted away from that as

(17:30):
fast as they could, like,how dumb. Here's the creators that worked
on this movie. So it's like, if you don't know any better,
yeah, you're like, okay,what did Steven Spielberg do on this movie?
Right? You know what I'm sayingexactly? Hellas stupid Internet daddy Pedro
Pascal. He did an actor's roundtablewith Evan Peters, Jeff Bridges, Kieran

(17:52):
Culkin, Michael Imperioli. He's Internetdaddy because of his roles on The Mandalorian
and The Last of Us, wherehis cares are in charge of a young
kid. He's not their dad,but somehow he ended up in charge of
them, and Pedro Pascal said he'shaving a good time with this whole thing
being a viral sensation. He said, uh, it's role related. Obviously,

(18:15):
there was a period where the Mandalorianis very daddy to baby Grogu and
Joel is very daddy to Ellie.These are daddy parts. That's what it
is, and so then Jeff Bridgeschimes in ask him are you daddy,
which Pedro Pascal says, no,he's not, and then he looks directly
into the Cameron says, I'm notgonna be a daddy. Really, that's

(18:37):
quite the declaration. And if webeing honest, I wouldn't mind him spreading
his seat around a little bit fora next generation of an Internet daddy,
I'd be into it. Yeah,I mean, you know what I'm talking
about. I'm rabiing for more nerdstuff. Check out the Nerd podcast at
the Woody Show dot com. Nerdvery much, you got it. I

(19:00):
found one of the things that ourlistener put together years ago. All right,
brother, when we did the Weekand non sequitors. All right,
here we go, here's what happenedthis week and Rare bring your dates throwing
up. Isn't that a good appwork? Yes, good night, you
said, old washed up. Apotpourri is a gateway to animals. Sure

(19:23):
you don't think of delicious tacos whensomeone says tacos, beg that's some psychopath.
Pretty psycho, get on, sitsdown and shut the f up with

(19:48):
Nothing says sexy like public bathrooms.Right, Oh yeah, because I'm so
calm and just breaking the wind.I respect the art of Hello, kitty,
what's the best diet on planet Earth? The best diet on planet Earth?
Tape worm? Tape worm? Whoeverhere has a stomach flu next has
to kiss me? Good? Looknow, bro, do you want to
be pete on? No? Whatyou're doing like crazy potion stuff? And

(20:12):
you look too skinny? No way, you look that skinny on that in
that photo. I wish yeah,I found that. I don't care.
God, I wish I had thatbody, Like look at that man again,
which is so skinny. Let's getout of here before we ruin anything
else. Show. There we gothat Monday morning. All yeah, this
listener has spends so much time.I no love it? Ye all right,

(20:33):
Earth, take a break more whathe shows next? Hang on,
all your weldest dreams will come trueafter this. It's not all what's so
a few whatever? It's the Woodyshow. This just gets hot and then
they just want to Joe and nextthing you know, Wow, Well we
are into another new hour of insensitivitytraining for a politically correct world. On

(20:56):
this Tuesday morning, post long holidayweekend. It's May the thirtieth, twenty
twenty three. I'm Woody. That'sRaby. Good morning. There's great gory
menace is here? What is that, Woody. We've got savants, We've
got Sammy Board is here. We'vealso got Caroline Morgan, Vaughnd the gangsall
here. Your here to participate inthe Woody Show weekend homework topic that we've

(21:21):
been talking about it. You know, Sunday was National Masturbation Days to celebrate.
I meant to celebrate and I totallywhipped off all this talk about it
completely forgot. But yeah, sowhere what's the oddest place? Where's the
oddest place? You've knocked one out? Is our question? And you can

(21:42):
call in with your store. Youcould be anonymous, by the way,
and I've got to give us yourname or anything. Eight seven seven forty
four, Woody. That's eight sevenseven forty four Woody. You can also
hit us up with your answer overto two two nine eight seven. Got
a bunch of people that hit usup on our after hours voicemail. Good
all so on our Facebook, Facebookdot com slashed the Woody Show. But

(22:04):
yeah, so masturbation, may Iguess it's not just wow It wasn't just
National Masturbation Day. I guess itwas masturbation may jeez, I didn't get
the notification on that one, right, I mean neither. Yeah, and
so um uh. You know alot of stuff is focused around guys as
if women don't master, and sothe question was how much is too much?

(22:26):
How much is too much? Yeah? And there they're pointing out,
like everyone you know, it's different. So normal isn't really a thing?
Don't you started going blind if youdo it too much? Yes? Yes,
I'm sure that's what your right.When he was a kid. Yeah,
ten percent of guys do it daily, No way, I am yeah,
eighteen percent do it two or threetimes a week, and twenty four

(22:48):
percent said they haven't done it ina year or more. Okay, okay,
nowers our friend Mike the Show Killerclaims that he's never once ever ever
that has never won Ultimate, whichI don't believe that, Yeah, because
then he will lie. Isn't heone of the isn't he one of the
most horny people that you know?Yes, he's a guy. Okay,
we're in Vegas, right, wewere in Vegas one. This is years

(23:10):
ago. We were in Vegas andwe're all getting ready to leave and uh,
and we're like, wait, where'swhere's Mike. So like all of
a sudden, Mike shows up andthen he tells me a story later because
he was there with a friend.Told the friend, oh, hey,
maybe down the lobby. So thefriend shows up, We're like, hey,
where's Mike. He's like, oh, he's taking a dump. No,
no, he wasn't taking a dump. He had gone on Grinder,

(23:33):
which is the gay tender hook upapp, found somebody there who was within
three hundred feet or whatever, andthen met up for a mouth party before
going down to the lobby to meetus to go to the airport where we're
all waiting for him. We're waitinglike we're all waiting for him. But
I mean, yeah, this sparea couple of minutes, I understand,
and whatever. That's his life.He could do what he wants. My
point is, here's a guy who'sthat horny right right, and he's never

(23:56):
once tugged planes. This is theguy. He's so horny, he doesn't
he just doesn't know how to doit. It's a theory. Yeah,
this is the guy who if youhaven't seen him in a long while,
before you even get to hello,how are you type of talk? Are
there any cute guys here? Yes? Any hot? He's that guy.

(24:17):
I haven't seen you in any year, And that's your first question. Yeah,
I'm sure you hardy scoped it out, right, Greg? Did you
check it out? Yeah? Whenit comes to too much, all the
experts say there really isn't such thingas too much. But you know,
if like that's all you can thinkabout and you're obsessing over it, seek
professional help. Let you imagine thatphone call to it. Yeah, that

(24:37):
conversation. I got a problem.I can't even work right because I got
Joe. I can't think. Yeah. But they say one of the things
if you're doing it too much,that you know you're going to desensitize yourself
because you've gotten so accustomed to yourown style. Right, I just can't
feel things the same way with apartner. Makes sense, Yeah, kind

(24:57):
of like they say, you know, po are in setting unrealistic expectations,
which it does. Yeah. True. Yeah. Now, if if you're
caught handling yourself, like, howdo you handle it? Not handling it
right? Exactly? Hardly. Yeah, But they say, what you don't

(25:22):
want to do is be defensive aboutit, because that implies that you're doing
something wrong. Well, it dependson are you're doing it, but yeah,
where are you busted? Like that? Like the tugging itself is not
necessarily a problem. But if you'relike at your kids' school in the bathroom
during like a sorry teacher conference orsomething like that, and my canaitor walks

(25:42):
in, like what are you doingin there, sir? If you're in
church, that in church outside ofRavy's Walgreens, Yeah, that could be
a problem, they say. Theworst thing you can also do is get
into denial mode or avoid the situationaltogether. You just control the conversation.
Yep, I was Joe and justkeep saying it's normal human behavior, just
keep saying that over and over again. Yeah, yeah, again, the

(26:03):
boundaries and everything else. But thenthere's the aftermath, right, because you
know everyone will be able to laughabout it at some point. Maybe not
in that moment, but in thatmoment, maybe years later. But I
think if I walk into lady andthey started lecturing me about how it's normal,
it's natural, like I understand theconcept of it. I'm getting.

(26:23):
The whole point is I just watchedJoe here's here's making more awkward, I
think, and I, to myknowledge, I've never been busted. If
anybody has uh likewise busted me,they never said, yeah, that's how
it should be agreed, should beno conversation about it, right, But
sometimes it's like you make eye contact. Everybody knows you can't deny that,

(26:47):
like if somebody bust you. Likeif if like, let's just say,
you're doing your thing and somebody kindof like walks into the bathroom while you're
in the shower or wherever you're doingyour thing, or walks into the bedroom
while you're doing your thing, andyou don't even realize that they've kind of
like open the door or they've walkedhim and they kind of like just kind
of back out like Homer Simpson backinto the bushes right right, you know,
kind of thing Like, but ifyou make eye cocked on eye contact

(27:10):
with that person, then there's nodenying that you got busted. But I
agree that you should just never talkabout it. But I think no point.
But I think at that point youlean into it as I wouldn't or
as the cot uh. No,I think it's the person who got caught.
I think you lean into it inwhat way? Yeah, Um,
you just acknowledge it, like,hey, you want to join in?
Like later on you make jokes atyour own expense. Yeah, Because,

(27:34):
like anything, I think the moreuptight somebody is about something, especially amongst
like dude friends, like that isjust open season that you have a big
target on you, and that's whatthey're going to tease you about relentlessly unless
you just own it. Yeah,I guess, and and two dudes would
understand yeah better. I'm trying tothink if I ever caught anybody other than

(27:56):
homeless people. Oh, I've seenendless homeless Joe. I saw once in
New York City subway really Yeah,Like they had sometimes they close off one
of the staircases to go up tobecause each subway station will, you know,
have different exits to a different cornerof the street, you know,
the northwest corner or whatever. Andso the staircase that I was going to

(28:18):
go up was closed off for whateverreason, and there was a guy right
just around the corner, like sittingthere up against the gates, just tugging
away, never sting. I don'tever seen it, Greg, No,
I've never seen it out in thewild. Almost Joeing is like, I
don't know, how do you avoidit? Is that comment? Really?

(28:41):
Yeah, let's go to almost pooping. Let's go to Tommy Hey, Good
morning, Tommy, Hey, goodmorning guys. What's up man? What's
the oddest place you ever knocked oneout? Well? This is we're gonna
say this. This goes back beforemobile devices. I used to work for
a we'll say, a home andmovement retailer that's pretty popular, all right,

(29:03):
in the flooring department. And youknow, when the day got too
busy, I got too stressed out, I just go into my little warehouse,
lay out some padding, make anice soft carpet or the nice OFFT
mattress. Yeah, roll down thedoor and have at it. Yeah,
it's a lot of effort. Wekept a little stack of you know,

(29:25):
playboys back there and media, youknow, magazines, just for the occasion
to go back there. And oh, there was four guys in the department.
Everybody knew what was going on,Like, oh man, when that
door was pulled down on the warehouse, god, all right, yeah,
just left things be man, panelsand music, yeah, wood, Oh

(29:48):
yeah, just don't touch anything inthere when you're done, exactly all right,
Tommy, thanks for the call,man, appreciate you listen to what
all right, So, what's what'sthe oddest place you've knocked one out?
Eight seven seven forty four. Woodya'ts eight seven seven forty four? What
he text over to two two nineeight seven. We'll get to us some
more of your feedback that you left. Like I said on the after hours

(30:11):
voicemail, go around the room.We got some of this other stuff too.
As we get into our weekend homeworktop beginning what's the oddest place you
knocked one out? And keep inminding and calling anonymously run like Tommy very
proud. Yeah, yes he hadall his friends involved. Oh yeah,
the whole department. Now all right, more what he shows next the wood
He go, We'll be right backnow here. This will give great glories

(30:36):
when much needed time to think abouteverything. He's gonna vacuum when yes,
the Woody Show will be right back. They're back. It's the Woody Show,
all right. So dare I saythe topic at hand, getting what

(30:57):
is the oddest place you've knocked oneout? Let's go to Chris Hey.
Good morning, Chris Chris Hey,good morning guys. That we're going,
we're doing great. So honest,place your knocked one out? What is
it? So I'll give you guysa little backstory first. So, uh,
I was going through a breakup andyou know when you go through a

(31:18):
breakup, I mean you missed thatperson, um, you know, sexually.
And I was working twelve our greatshifts at the time, and you
know, I was thinking about itall night and I didn't do anything.
It works. Um, I kindof figured, you know, I'll dude,
you know, going down and gethome. But on a drive home
from work, I can't wait.Um, but mind mind my windows are

(31:41):
tinted, and um, yeah,I started doing it. Well you would
have still done what'd you draw yourhand? Uh No, I think I
like a napew or something like that. So that wasn't you know, but
it was quick and uh I feltweird for doing it. But wait,
yeah, yeah, man, Ifeel stop. Can't wait till I get

(32:06):
home. Mine was on the PennsylvaniaTurnpike somewhere between Harrisburg and Philadelphia. I
know it's weird that I knew youranswer. Yeah, well, we've talked
about it. Now. Keep inmind, I was a young man,
eighteen maybe nineteen to the times whenit's calling. So I mean they're there
that I think that factors in whatI do that now, No, but

(32:28):
you know, knocked one into asock. Finished the rest of the trip.
It stopped at like a I thinkthere was like a roy Rogers chicken
nice, like one of the oneof the rest stops. That's how long
ago this was, and that receivedthe sock. Yeah. Well then I
carried it into into the restaurant threwit away in there. Yeah waste.
Yeah, where do you think babysocks come from? Right, otherwise babies

(32:50):
have nothing to wear. You're welcomeanyway. I finished out the rest of
the road trip with just one sock. Oh damn. Yeah, your foot's
all sweaty every sitting inside your shoe. But I bet truck drivers have endless
stories though. Yeah, that's alot on the text. Yeah, as
a truck driver, I've seen manypeople stress relieving on the freeway, both

(33:10):
men and women. Interesting, theyjust see like right down and yeah,
yeah, yeah, let's go toTiffany. Hey you morning, Tiffany.
Tiffany, Hey, hey, goodmorning. So what's the oddest place you've
knocked one out? So it's notme personally. But I work in an
emergency department. You know where peoplecome for emergencies. Well, I walked

(33:35):
in on a patient's partner rubbing oneout for them in the room. I
was like, this is not theplace for this. Wow. They were
playing the Japanese flute and had theirpartners flute in the other hand. They're
playing a musical instrument. Yeah,all doing that for their partner in the

(33:58):
hospital. Yes, all right,that's the emergency people are weird. They're
in the really weird stuff. Yeah. Now, Tiffany, let's be honest.
Let's let's talk about you for asecond. What's the oddest place you've
knocked one out? Um? Idon't not really in odd places? Um.
I mean, I guess we weretalking about this last night. Actually,

(34:22):
I had a friend helped me onceinside a shed at home depot.
No nowhere, you know, reallyall that interesting, just maybe at a
home depot? Did you work there? Were you? She got? She
got worked there? What happened?It was a bunch break and it was

(34:43):
because I was going to work.He was on break, and I was
like, hey, all right,so you missed. You messed around in
the shed. It wasn't like asolo. Okay, no, no,
yeah, all right, Tiffany,thank you for the call. I appreciate
you listening to the Woody Show yetye ye, Let's go to h Chris
Hey, Good morning, Chris,Chris Hey, Hey, are you doing

(35:04):
what's up? All right? So, honest place, you've knocked one out?
Uh? Well, back in theday, uh seventy nine, I
was in the Navy and I gotput on restriction. So my uh wife
at the time, uh came tovisit and we got locked in the my

(35:24):
buddy lock us in the what's calledthe sale room, and we did the
d Okay, we'll see. That'syou know, I got a question.
It is Morgan talking to the callerbefore I put him on the air.
I'll talk about knocking one out.And it's a follow up to National Resturbation

(35:45):
Day. Like the last three thatI've heard, including Chris, there's a
partner involved right at the home depotflute. I did like that story.
I mean, they're interesting stories,right, but like it's it's it's not
in the spirit of the question.Place he knocked one out his masturbation month.

(36:08):
We're doing it a just servant.Yeah, I mean, Morgan,
are we talking to people before weput them on hold. That's all I
want to know. No, shesaid that she is? Yea is she?
Well? What was Chris's real storythough? Yeah? So when Chris
told the story, did he sayhe did it by himself? And he

(36:29):
just left the whole part out abouthis wife visiting. I'll show them when
they put me on Yeah, I'mgoing to change it up. Got him
Christopher wanting Christopher, Christopher, Christopher, are there? Yes, I'm here?
There is all right, what's theoddest place you've knocked one out?
Just so we're not just so we'renot in the weeds here, we're talking
about masturbation right. Oh no,it was with a girl y wow,

(36:58):
see Morgan, come on, inc. I would like to hear from Morgan
right now. I don't think itwas Friday failed day ahead and go ahead
and grab any any microphone. It'sa bit Are you speaking to these people
before? Yes? I am.And some of these are from our Facebook

(37:19):
topic, right, So I hadto go through the Facebook topic. The
comments were like, oh, youknow I was with this other person?
Did it? Yeah? Right?So these comments were specifically like I'm gonna
I'm gonna get these people. I'mgonna get them on the other people and
I get them on the phone.I say, so, remind me of
you're in a ship in the navy? Did it? And they never mentioned
the other person? So I'm not. So we're just lucking out here by
going one after the other into callafter call after call into people with partners

(37:47):
there, I guess so, Imean, yeah, hey, Christopher,
tell me about your story. Sowas another person? Wait here, well
with my girlfriend? Now that wasjust sex. That was just sex in
a weird place. Where where areyou going? Yeah, you're gonna get

(38:07):
more where the place? Have sexstories on the line. I guess we
could call an audible you know whatI mean? Yeah, I'm down.
Yeah, all right, thank youMorgan there, all right? Thanks for
something. Jeez, I mean,what are the chances every I think maybe
people misunderstood that. I don't thinkso. I'm talking about how it's National

(38:28):
Master, but maybe knock out therethinking like knocking boots or something knocking boots
taking? Is that R and Bsong that's knocking that's candy man. Yes,
let's say how let's say how toZach save us? Zach on now

(38:53):
again, Zach, we're talking aboutmasturbation here and the oddest place, the
oddest place you knocked one out,I'd say, the nastiest, oddest and
hottest place. Uh So I'm inthe military, you know the military,
guys, we get desperate when we'regone in a filtering for a lunch time.
And uh yeah, it's hot,humid in Louisiana and sometimes those supported

(39:17):
John's are pretty nasty to begin with. Yeah, and uh hundreds of soldiers
using those things all week and there'slike mountains of crabs stack like you almost
need to take the push it downand you go out there and black one
off. I mean, it's sorelieving, but it's so disgusting in time.

(39:38):
You got sweat dripping off your bodyand almost smelled like ammonia in there.
We thank you for your service,yes, yeah, yes, exactly,
Yeah, I mean appreciate it.This. This is part of what
are men and women in the militaryhave to go through. They they have
to end up knocking one out.Yeah, and your freedom, I know,

(39:59):
heroes, that's we've heard like thesame story, but like in Baghdad
and stuff. Oh my god,yeah, you think that would kill the
desire. Let's go to Jonathan Hey, Good morning, Jonathan. Jonathan,
Hey, what's up. So againwe're talking about masturbation. What's the oddest
place you've knocked one out? Walmartbathroom when I was like seventeen? Yeah,

(40:24):
so what was it? What sectionof the store? I really got
to you? You had to makea bee line in the bathroom? Um,
honestly none. My girlfriend teased mea little bit and I went excited
to do some shopping and I waslike, you know, I'm to figure
unless you started started winning the bathroom, Yeah, just finished this here.
The English business. Wasn't all thosegood deals that turned you on? Yeah,

(40:45):
it's all the rollback you hell yeahyeah yeah. All right, Jonathan,
thank you for the call. Appreciateit. Let's go to James.
Hey, good morning James. James. Hey, how's it going everybody?
Well, you know, it's it'sbeen an interesting topic hitting there. But
the oddest place you've knocked one out? Again? This is solo style,

(41:07):
so little style. So we wereon a family trip up to Lake Tahoe,
one of those big fifteen person bandsand I was in the back.
The whole family was in front ofme, and I just, you know,
so sort of put a towel overmyself and you know, I was
fifteen sixteen at the time, andyou know, just rubbed one out because
I was extremely bored and with thatfamily. There's no way they didn't know.

(41:30):
Yeah, I don't know, likewhat, like what year was this,
This was two thousand and seven,Okay, this is past the time
of remember the station wagons that hadthe rear facing way back, so you
could you could have, like wehad we were growing up, that you
could you probably could have gotten awaywith it there. Yeah, there's no

(41:50):
way they didn't know and they kneweverything. Yeah, I don't think so.
Now now there was there was aroad in front of me with luggage
and stuff, so you know,I kind of sort of it's kind of
fortelling yourself that a little fortress.Yeah, all right, James, thanks
for the call. Man, appreciateyou listening to your show. Let's go
to H. Dwight. Hey,good morning, Dwight. Dwight, good

(42:13):
morning. All right. So that'swork at your desk at work, all
right? Yeah, Yeah, Iwas like I was working for tough marketing
place. So it's like, uh, yeah, lined up, you have
like you not in the cubicle.You just kind of have like those little
like dividers, right, little foam. Yeah, telling for a minute that

(42:34):
sucked. Yeah, but I wasso afraid that I was that someone's gonna
smell it. I was so afraidit's gonna smell that like edging for like
half an hour. But it madeit that much better when you finally guy,
all right, yeah, thanks forthe call. Man, are listening

(42:55):
show all That's why I don't thinkthe previous call with the car the parents
knew because of what he was.Just sure, let's go to anonymous.
Hey, good morning, Anonymous,good morning, good morning. All right,
So oddest place you've knocked one out, all right, by myself on
a plane in the windows seat rightunderneath my coat on the way home.

(43:19):
Oh nice. Women have it somuch easier, yeah, because there's not
a lot of movement required, youknow, just like just like maybe just
just a little bit of the tipof the finger kind of thing. There's
movement requires, not not to like, okay, maybe think about the difference
between a guy and a girl doingthat. There is, but there's still
movement required. There's no din't know, please into it, rugby, you

(43:45):
know, you can accomplish that withbarely a movement compared to a dude,
because you're all about how full launching. Okay, well, if you have
to have, like, you know, toys, there's got to be like
a whole like production about it.Like if you just have your hand down
there and man, the robot kindof you could do that. There's nothing

(44:08):
you couldn't bring yourself to a quality. Oh well you're a big fan of
writhing and moaning. Yeah, allright, now I'm just thank you so
much for the call. All right, thank you. Baby's doing. It's
like on a robot. I know. Neighbors, all right, rape,
so oddest place you've knocked one out. I mean, not really odd place.

(44:30):
But I will say that everything you'veheard about the laundry room, like
the dryer or the washer that works. Oh that's a real thing. Wait
a minute, so that works.Yeah, because we had a particularly violent
dryer. So you could just standthere. Yeah, act like you're just
I'm just waiting. Yes, youwere being helpful. You're like, yeah,

(44:51):
I'll go down and get the towels. Yep. And what you're just
like sitting on the washer or thedryer or the dryer noise? Yeah,
And like I said, those machineswere particularly violent. I wasn't you know,
at my toy phase yet, Yes, Raven needs something more aggressive.
I guess that's why she's not understanding, like maybe like when I'm thrown out

(45:13):
there right, Yeah, I'm notbuying it. She brought herself to an
O on a plane. All right, ladies. I have a question now
for the ladies. I mean,does my does my argument here and make
any sense to you? I meanI'm not like a expert on women,
but I'm thinking what you're saying istrue. Yeah, they could totally hide.
I think they did it. Justyou know, I'm never Sent'm not

(45:35):
saying she wasn't touching herself. Yeah, I mean, if that's where we're
going, Sure she touched herself ona plane. You can't get there doing
that. No, A little youknow, some manipulation that us. It
is ridiculous. I thank you.You would definitely know, is your argument
that nobody would know? Yeah,because you could be way more in the

(45:55):
d l Abad than a guy,can you know? Not true? Which
is also probably why you're not hearinga lot of girls calling up and saying
oh yeah, because I can doit all the time out in public.
And no one ever noticed it becausereally difficult. Well, I'm just I'm
still trying to understand. So wherewhere what is it that would get the

(46:15):
attention? Because a guy, it'slike anybody rubbing their genital airy back.
Notice I don't like a guy requireslike full arm motion like a woman.
All you really need is like basicallyfrom the risk is down your finger.

(46:36):
You still see that elbow? Yeah? Right now I'm scratching my leg.
Can you tell? Just look,it looks like you're jelling. Now I'm
gonna punch my leg. Can youtell? Yeah, Now I'm gonna joe
next. So what do you do? Well, obviously I'm doing the Woody

(47:04):
Show shout out, So y'all needto haddies had Ray had you minutes because
they kill you around here, soyou can run a tail. That's home
boy, Oh boy, all right, welcome back. Still more feedback for
the oddest place you've knocked one outour weekend homework topics and Sunday was National

(47:25):
Masturbation Day, which the first handfulof callers had an unreasonably hard time understanding,
not kidding, not getting. Butyeah, we'll get some more of
that feedback here in a second alittle story first about revenge, one of
my favorite topics. Right, thischick over in the UK she caught her
boyfriend cheating and got back at himby hiding smelly foods around his apartment.

(47:50):
That's hilarious. Yeah, her friendgot on video. It's gone viral,
which is how we know about it. Huh uh. For example, she
pulled apart some curtain rods about hiswindow and stuffed a bunch of shrimp in
there. Genius. She says theplace smelled for months and he couldn't figure
out why drive you crazy? Andthen some other people started responding with someone

(48:13):
what they've done to get back atsomebody. Somebody filled a spray bottle with
milk and sprayed it all over theperson's carpet. So you want to do
something that's harder to clean. Yeah, and the carpet they can figure out
if they get down there goes thatthe carpet, they smell it. They
have like rug doctor come out andyeah, that's done. You want to
like spray it in some other places, but the current rods thing is it's

(48:34):
pretty good. It's pretty smart.Genius. You know that liquid it's in
those jars of minced garlic. It'slike it's like water water juice. Yeah,
well yeah, just keep it fromdrying out. So somebody dumped that
in this guy's shoes. All,yep, there's the old scrubby guy's toilet
with his toothbrush and then put itback. Classic And somebody removed the back

(48:55):
panel from their ex's TV and putcrab meat in there. That's a good
one. That's an expensive revenge plot. Yeah, I mean, how does
the you know? Because I don'teat it, but the imitation crab did
that stink um not really doesn't tastelike anything. It doesn't smell like anything
good. I got to use thegood stuff, I guess. Yeah,
it doesn't have much smell. It'snot very oceany Go buy the kind of

(49:20):
cheap pack of stardines or something that'dbe better than that's crab. Yeah,
that's expensive caviar. I put sometruffles a lobster. The crabs probably a
slow roll because anchovies. Instantly you'dbe able to smell it. Yeah,
but in the TV you wouldn't knowit's there, Yeah, back there,
But the crab, it will takea second before the start smelling it.

(49:44):
I mean, I told you thestuff that we did. I haven't done
this anything like this since, youknow, being an adult. But when
we were kids, it's one kidin the neighborhood. He was a dick,
and his dad was even a biggerdick, and his dad was like
fat and balding. So every thisis back before like the internet. So
you'd see those commercial on TV forlike hair club for men or treadmills and
stuff like that. We'd signed himup for every single one of those,

(50:05):
like brochures that we could just sentinto his house constantly. And then the
kid himself we signed him up forlike Columbia house being three other kids,
and like we'd go through and findlike stuff we've none of us have ever
heard of, like what the hellis that we signed him up for the
worst ones, and that would beon the hook to buy them, like
to buy the two or three atregular club price or whatever was. But

(50:25):
you needed a money order in orderto to uh, to get it done.
You had to send it in.Everything had the little stamps yeah yeah,
yeah for each album, like apenny, right, yeah for a
penny. So we would bike fourmiles down to the post office to get
a money order just so we couldlike mess with this kid. Damn.

(50:47):
Yeah, four miles there, fouron a BMX. That was a long
run. Yeah, alright. Someof the other feedback here. What's the
oddest place you've knocked one out ourweekend homework topic? Hailey says, on
purpose a Ferris wheel. When Iwas twenty two, I had just been

(51:08):
dumped accidentally in the salon chair ayear or so ago. It just happened
and it was awesome. So acident. There you go. Let's see.
Craig says, every bathroom of everyjob I've ever had, all right.
Crystal says, a little hallway behindour trip, during our trip to the

(51:29):
aquarium, okay. Paulo says,in a broken down car in the hills,
all right. Andrew says, rooftopof a hospital okay, very stressful
place. Yes, Kevin says onan Amtrak train. Clyde was on a
C seventeen in the bathroom during anin flight refuel so you know those big
refueling play. Okay, Yeah,it's my service. Yeah, pretty cool.

(51:53):
That's a good one. Greg,what about you? I was starting
with a high thought. There's ananswer to every question I under what the
actual number of times we've all doneit, got it? I mean in
the thousand is what sized vessel couldyou fill? Yeah, in your lifetimes.
Yeah, by the time you hitthirty. Basically, let's go at

(52:14):
thirty. But you know that guylike outdoor stuff. That's always exciting.
But I think the weirdest is whenI'm not a big pothead at all.
But the first time I ever smokedpot was with my friend John, and
he was a mega pothead, andI thought, I don't know if I'm
high or not. Maybe I wouldknow if I joked and if it felt
different. So I went into hishallway bathroom to Joe, and I must

(52:36):
have been in there for at leasttwenty minutes, and every couple of minutes,
John would are you okay in there? Yeah, you're right. I'm
like, I'm fine, I'm there. I think I'm high, but I
don't know. And I'm just likeJoe, Joe, Joe, Joe,
like five feet from his hallway ments. What about you? Oh, I
mean, I wish I was amore adventurous joe Er. But I guess

(52:57):
it would be when I lived inmy car on the street street, inside
my car. Yeah, guy who'snever home, it's got to be he's
got to have some stories. Yeah, you would think. I mean,
but I'm usually at a hotel orsomething like that. Yeah. Yeah,
so I'm not like out on theat a hardware story. Well, I

(53:20):
mean the guy was at home,depot, you know, you were basically
at home. Yeah, that's verymuch. Yeah, Sammy, I really
don't have anywhere weird. I'm veryregular. She's about to say she was
normal and she stopped herself, youknow, just standard like bed or whatever.
Yeah, nothing fun, nothing.The moment just kind of hits you.

(53:43):
No, I'm trying to think,and I can't think of any moment
where I couldn't wait, I know, right, wait till I get home.
Totally the County Fair. Sure youget horny at the County Fair.
And then you just speaking of catchingsomebody. Someone say they do HVAC and
they had a guy doing it becausethey all that the guy thought everybody gone
the lunch. Oh no, here'sone for the six o nine. The

(54:07):
bathrooms at work or while I'm driving, or using the jets in a pool
or a hot tub as recent aslast week. And I'm a chick,
I do it daily daily. Sonice you horny fool uh three three zero,
says I admit I did mix abatch while driving once batch. That's
funny. There's a long boring stretchin West Texas, nothing better to do

(54:29):
than knock one out. I've everdone it at work? Have you guys
poured a potty at work? Never? Yeah? No way, Well,
thank you everybody for your feedback.Here I got to here. I'll give
you this last after hours voicemail.Seventh grade and knock one out in the
middle of my class. I don'tknow how I did it. The guy

(54:50):
stood next to me, no onenoticed, no one ever knew, but
it worked as busted it right thereand the yeah, same guy who uh,
twenty one year old who ended upoff that dude and then realizing that
not for me. So, Imean, I think I'm a normal guy,
lit a normal life. But yeahI've done yeah all right, yeah,
y sound like a normal guy.Yeah, very normal? Yeah turned

(55:13):
out great. Yeah, my parentsare proud man in seventh grade, right
in class and they didn't know.Oh yeah, everybody, I don't know.
I mean, how much attention wereyou painted all to anything? Everything?
Right? What the teacher said?Yeah, exactly? Looking around.
I don't know, we're trying tofind creative ways to sleep. Oh that's
true, you know, yeah,but if you knew your neighbor was Joe

(55:36):
and you were, well, Iknew the guy right next to him,
Now I'll think the whole class nowkar more what he shows next? Hang
still show? Everybody shut up?Attention attention everybody show, And we're into
another new hour of insensitivity training,free, politically correct world. It is

(55:59):
to day Morning. It's made thethirtieth, twenty twenty three. Thanks for
being here. Everybody. Phones openat eight seven to seven forty four.
Woody, if you'd like to puticipatein the topic contest, whatever it might
be, send us a text overto two to nine eight seven. We've
got some trending news headlines coming upfor you this hour. And we start

(56:21):
this hour the brand new Redneck News. So what do you show? You
gotta go outside to grab something outthe fridge. That is red nick News.
And today's Redneck News is from FortCollins, Colorado, where the police
they were getting some calls about aguy who was seen using and dealing drugs

(56:42):
around town. Oh no, sothey want to go check it out,
and they found the guy they sawhim as he was getting into a car
and pulling away. So they followedhim, and when they tried to pull
him over, dude grabbed a backpack, got out of the car and made
a run for it. Okay,they figured out who he was. This
guy had seven role active warrants outfor his arrest seven as a matter of

(57:04):
fact, four felonies now, sothe officers they chased after him, and
that's when he decided that he wouldjump into the river and make his float
away. He lost the backpack atsome point, which was later recovered no
shock had a bunch of meth inside, and they kept an eye on the
guy using a drone. Because itwas too dangerous for the cops to go

(57:27):
in the river themselves, they usedthe drone to keep an eye on them.
They caught up with him downstream.They tried to throw him a rope
several times, which he threw itback at them. I don't want your
rope now. This little back andforth went on for six hours until he
finally gave up and came out ofthe river. He was placed under arrest
and taken to the county jail forhis warrants, along with a bunch of

(57:49):
new charges such as distribution of controlledsubstance, resisting arrests, and obstructing a
police officer. Maybe they'll hold onto him this time, yeah, or
if he has their warrants, maybego get up. I know how about
that is from Fort Collins, Colorado. A meth dealer with outstanding warrants tried
to lose the cops. Viking sixhour float away down a river, and

(58:12):
that is today's Red Nick. Iwish you got on a log though.
Those stories, those are the beststories. Yeah, all time you getaways.
This guy was just free floating.She had a log. Yeah,
and then the article said he wouldlike find like a shallow area and stand
there for a little bit, kindof you know, relax haunt. Yeah,

(58:35):
and he go as soon as thecops start getting closer, you go
back in the middle of the river, float down more. It's been freezing.
Yeah, what idiot. You shouldhave logged it though, yep,
logged it all day. You know. I just don't think there are any
available long available locks. I know, I've asked it before, and I
still never understand this guy had sevenwarrants out Yeah, on an you know,
slow day in the police department.Why don't you go you know what,

(58:59):
I think, I'm gonna cut mylunch break short and go get this
guy with seven warrants. Yeah,that makes no sense to me. Yeah,
do not know where he was?Right? Like, we had no
idea where he'd be. Was healready a fugitive? Yeah? Because if
you have a warrant out, whyare the cops not at your house right
now? How is your weekend?A woman in Florida, she had all

(59:19):
kinds of trouble. She got ad y no no after she was busted
driving on this beach. I guessyou weren't allowed to drive on this beach.
But not only was she driving onthe beach, she was driving fifty
miles an hour on the beach,almost hitting people and then driving her vehicle
into the water. Oh yeah,So here's some audio of her interaction along

(59:40):
with her passenger that they had withthe cops there on the beach. Child,
people are down here because you can'tdrive on this part of the beach.
We were just didn't think that wecould turn around here. Yeah.

(01:00:06):
Someone told us that we almost hita kid, and yeah, we were
trying to turn around at fifty milesan hour on the beach. I mean,
you see those car commercials where theyou know, the trucks are tied
along the beach and stuff. Idon't know if I would ever want to
do that. I would, I'dbe afraid that would get stuck in the
sand. There's an event every yearover in England where people raced out a
very steep, two hundred yard longhill chasing a wheel cheese. Yeah,

(01:00:31):
the video sounds like a great time. Well, this year's event happened yesterday
and the winner of the women's racewas his chick from Canada, who won
despite falling and being knocked unconscious onher way down sweet and then she literally
rolled across the finish line. Ohwow. And she didn't even realize that
she won until later when she cameto Ye went yeah. She woke up

(01:00:52):
in the medical tent and that's whenthey that's when they caught up with her.
I'm good now that I remember.I'm good. Um. I remember
running and then I hurt my headand then I woke up from the tents.
That's why the injuries. I thinkit's my head. Yeah, yeah,
the one worth it, that's whatshe said, worth it. And

(01:01:12):
then in the cheese right, Idon't know what the prize is. I
think it's the wheel of cheese.Maybe better get the cheese. You got
no idea? That's insane. Yeah, I don't understand, Like why would
you do that? The other onelike, why would you go run from
bulls? Running that? We havewanted to do that? You that would
be fun, it would and thatgigantic tomato fight would be fun. Yeah,
that would be fun. You wouldwant to run? I would.

(01:01:36):
I don't know why, but Iwould with the bulls, although don't they
kill them at the end. Iwouldn't want to support that. See like
I feel like kind of how Rabydoes when you see things about shark attacks,
like I love the running totally whensomeone gets caught. Yeah, I
love it. Agreed, you're askingfor it, right of course you were
running from a bull. Yeah.Yeah, I don't feel that ever at

(01:02:00):
all. You're gonna have to practicea little bit great, Yeah, yeah,
I should probably learn how to runfurther, run a little quicker eight
seven seven forty four. Wooding hitus up with the text over to two
two nine eight seven some of thetrending news headlines coming up. Next,
he asked me to impregnate him show, Greg, I'm sure he saw it.

(01:02:21):
What this government official in India?I guess he lost his phone in
a reservoir right, right while snappinga selfie, a twelve hundred dollars Samsung
phone. And he claimed that thephone had sensitive government information on it,

(01:02:44):
right, And so he sent somelocal divers to go find it. But
when they couldn't find it, heordered the entire reservoir to be drained so
they can get his phone. Andso for three days the pumps ran and
emptied four hundred and forty thousand gallonsof water and wait, which is enough

(01:03:04):
to irrigate nearly fifteen thousand acres offarmland. Oh my god. And by
the time the phone was found,it wasn't even working, of course.
Uh yeah, okay, So y'all'slike, goodman information on okay, Yeah,
great, because somebody's gonna find it. And he was suspended probably,
but he denies misusing his position.Should have been suspended, should have been
executed. Yeah, I knew.God, what a waste. What else

(01:03:29):
is going on in the news headlines? Well, nine people in a large
crowd were injured when gunfire broke outon a beachside boardwalk in Hollywood, Florida.
This was yesterday. Nine people hurtincluded six adults and three kids between
the ages of one and seventeen.At least one person in custody as of
last night, but police are lookingfor more suspects, and Hollywood Police Chief
Chris O'Brien said that thousands of peoplewere in the area at the time and

(01:03:51):
dozens of police officers responded to thecall of shots fired. So, God
forbid we go a day without anythinglike that. Right. There's a tentative
debt ceiling agreement. Again tentative becausePresident Biden House Speaker Kevin McCarthy agreed to
raise the current thirty one point fourtrillion dollars borrowing limit. But now they
both have to convince their sides ofthe political aisle to vote on this agreement,

(01:04:14):
which would raise the debt limit untiltwenty twenty five, also boosts spending
on defense and veterans, and imposework requirements for able bodied people who get
food stamps. What so now,Yeah, So, now the president has
to convince the Democrats, McCarthy hasto convince the GOP and if both sides
do agree, this deal would last. This is the best part about the

(01:04:35):
deal. It would last for twoyears, so it wouldn't come up again
until after the twenty twenty four elections. We could stop talking about it.
The debt ceiling limits the amount ofmoney that the US can borrow. Why
we have to borrow a penny isbeyond my comprehension, and a default they
say could cause international financial crisis becauseI'm thinking, you know, people think

(01:04:58):
in terms only of income tab butyou got capital gains tax, property tax,
sales tax, state tax, yeah, state tax. I mean,
think of we're spending all that andmore, right, and then where you
have to borrow how many trillions ofdollars? It's unreal that we have to
borrow a penny. I don't getit, and I don't want to get
it. I guess, I guessI'm just so sick. I know I

(01:05:20):
need to join FOG because it makesme so mad. I think happy.
Think of three things you do inany given day that you're not taxed on,
even taking a walk down the roadyou're taxed on that you are well,
you paid for the road, paid, you know, tax on everything.
It's been something cute, adorable.I did see all these funny videos

(01:05:42):
are pop it up right now withdogs, and there's songs, like fully
produced songs about like how whenever yougo to the cheese drawer in the fridge,
you got to pay the cheese tax. And it's like all these cute
dogs like sitting there waiting for thelittle piece of the cheese. That's a
tax I'm willing to pay. That'sexactly right. Yeah, that's little Cassie
needs to cash in on her cheesetag. Dogs do love cheese. Blueberries,

(01:06:05):
Yeah, they're blueberry fans. Passengerson this Carnival cruise did not have
fun. On the way back fromthe Bahamas. Ship was headed to Charleston
and it hit a storm off ofSouth Carolina. So doors on the ship
actually had their hinges ripped off.The photos Yeah, just like a bob
Offer that shattered glass debris everywhere ithappens. The downpipes flooded the hallways,

(01:06:30):
and some passengers were vomiting because ofall the rough water. They also got
a figure like what did it lookedlike before we are talking about Carnival here,
it's the Walmart of the seas rightHotel six. Yeah, a few
people actually needed medical attention. Now, the biggest complaint from all the passengers,
though, was that they didn't hearanything from any crew members for hours

(01:06:50):
during all that chaos. Well,because that was in the middle of the
night. I've been through one ofthese situations because I cruise all the time,
and yeah, they don't really makeannouncements in the middle of the night
night because they figure that people aresleeping, and they were crying that people
weren't. They weren't making announcements inthe middle of the night. But I
mean, are you sleeping through astrong getting shattered and right always are getting

(01:07:14):
who you are, but you're probablynot. Oh my god. Carnival did
release a statement saying that their medicalstaff helped a small number of guests and
they appreciate the patients and understanding ofall their guests because of that. UM
also a shootout. This happened inNorth Carolina on a bus. It was
back on May eighteenth. All caughtin surveillance video. But there's an update
to this crazy story. But startingwith that shootout, there was this passenger

(01:07:39):
on the bus. His name's OmariTobias walks up to the driver of the
Charlotte Area Transit System bus driven bya guy named David Fullard asked him to
let him off between stops. Sothe bus driver, David explained, I'm
I can't let people out between stops. You don't just make up the stops,
and Omari, in response, whipsout a gun and starts yelling at

(01:08:00):
the driver. So then David thedriver, he pulls out a gun and
the two are yelling at each other, guns pointed at each other. Things
escalate and then shoot out. Shotsget fired. David manages to stop the
bus even though he was shot inthe arm, and he was able to
shoot Omari, the guy who wasasking to be let out. He shot
him in the stomach, ended uprunning to the back of the bus,

(01:08:21):
and eventually went out the back doorof the bus. So that's the crazy
shootout that happened. Now the updateis both men are expected to make a
full recover recovery and then David Fuller, the bus driver who worked for the
Charlotte Area Transit System for nineteen years, just got fired. The transit system
says he should have de escalated thesituation by doing what just giving in and

(01:08:43):
letting the guy off where he wantedto be let off. Okay, I
would have been totally fine. Ifyou get fired in that situation, I
mean, it sucks to lose yourjob. Yeah, they're like, all
right, fine, fire me.Whatever guy pulls a gun on you,
You do whatever you can, whateveryou feel you need to do. And
that's a personal decision. And atmoment, what you feel like you he
didn't start it, right, Theydidn't pull the gun on somebody. He's

(01:09:05):
defending himself. And the whole thing'son video because once the guy who is
asking to be let off whips outhis gun and it's being all, you
know, badass about it. Whenhe got shot, he's like you shot
me? Like yeah, he's shockedand he's like you shot right, and
then he stumbles out the back door, runs away, and oh my god,

(01:09:26):
that's what's up right? I mean, what did you expect? There
was another story I saw, um, So there was a rush hour road
rage confrontation in Philadelphia, huh,And this guy smashes this woman's window with
a crowbar during the confrontation and sheresponds by shooting him right in the groin.
And she was licensed to carry,all right. So the guy currently

(01:09:49):
in critical condition and the investigators are, you know, working to determine exactly
what sparked the road rage, butno charges reported for the woman's mean.
Well, this other guy shot inJohnson Love it was gonna yeah, yeah,
Like what are you supposed to do? I think I'll worry about the
law and not do anything. Therewas a god I forgot. I think

(01:10:11):
it was Lulu Lemon in Atlanta.They were getting robbed, and so the
the employees followed the people out,took a picture of their license plate,
called the cops, showed the footageand gave the license plate number two the
police. The police arrested the shoplifters, believe it or not. And then
Lulu Lemon fired the employees because theyYeah, because they went out and they

(01:10:36):
took a picture of the license plate. This is you're not supposed to do
anything when these people. Yeah.Meanwhile, two other things, Uh,
I'm so sicky hearing about the Januarysixth thing. I wish they had that
same energy when they were like,you know, burning down cities and innocent

(01:10:56):
people's, destroying people's businesses and stufflike that. But the minute that's but
he puts a foot up on theirdesk. Right, No, I don't
know, I'm not I'm not takingup for the January six people either.
But I just wish there was thesame energy and like combing the same outrage
cell phone footage trying to find peoplewho were destroying these communities and neighborhoods and
businesses as they are because you know, their place of work got got interfered

(01:11:18):
with, and again not taking upfor the January six people. Both of
them suck. Sure, Okay,Now one of the guys and I guess
he got his foot up on NancyPelosi's desk. Was that picture that you
saw, Yeah, he got sixyears in prison. Meanwhile, I saw
that was a it was a sideby side, like, all right,
this is what's going on you guys. That guy got six years in prison.
Meanwhile, some guy I think itwas in New York City pushed some

(01:11:40):
old woman onto the subway. Tracksgot released with no bail. Oh my
god, yeah, released with nobail. Meanwhile, this guy puts a
foot up on the desk. Sixyears in prison. This person pushes some
old woman onto the subway tracks releasedno base crazy. I mean, it
sucks when there's no words. There'sno words for that. Yeah right,

(01:12:00):
hey, yeah, Rave, You'rein Charlotte, North Carolina right now,
that is correct. She's helping hermom out this week. So besides that
bus story, which is big nationalnews, there's another big story out of
Charlotte. Yeah, because they're lettingthe public name a street sweeper, okay,
and the final names for consideration.What you got clear a Pathra,

(01:12:27):
that's funny, sweep Caroline, andof course sweepy mixed sweet face and yeah
right, like I like cleath that'shilarious. I think that one's pretty funny.
Sweet Caroline that's pretty good too.More wood he shows next coming up

(01:12:49):
next on The Woody Show. Maybeit'll be something like we're just getting you
know what I'm saying, I'm justgetting enjoying myself or something much darker.
Yeah, I forget it. Careshave you taken like a bunch of photos
now so that your daughter can putthose up at her wedding when you're gone?
Yea, my dad would have lovedhave been here. Yeah, exactly.

(01:13:10):
So what do you show back ina bit? All, I welcome
back everybody. So I saw thisand I get it. Um. This
new study from the University of Chicagoand the University of Munich found that job

(01:13:30):
seekers with a Southern accent could makeless money than people without one, and
it showed to you know, justin general, people with strong regional accents
face what they call a wage penaltyof up to twenty percent. Damn that's
pretty big, yeah, compared tothose who speak with a quote standard accent
standard accent. Another recent study foundthat thirty eight percent of job seekers admitted

(01:13:53):
to softening their accent during interviews becauseof negative stereotypes so they can do it.
So. While people with Southern accentswere likely to change their voice,
people from western New England, Centraland South Jersey also most likely to alter
their accents. Like, to me, the Boston accent is the worst.
Yeah, that's a rough one.That's it's so bad, like you sound

(01:14:15):
you just always sound dumb. Yeah, well it's because that's where you're from.
Yeah, and I get it,like, okay, the Pittsburgh accent.
And I'm from Pittsburgh. My wholefamily is from Pittsburgh. Like it
is, it's rough. I don'thave an affinity for it at all.
See, Raby doesn't I love it. I hate it. I don't.
Yeah, Braby refuses. I thinkit's in fact, there was there's this,

(01:14:39):
uh well, her mom was allowedit wasn't allowed growing up a smart
accent, a Yinzer accent, ifyou will. So there's this guy,
Joe Quasala. He's a comedian,Quasala the same. Yes, it's first
time I ever heard of him wasthis weekend. I saw this clip.
I'm like, you know what he'she's kind of right. Grew up in
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which has avery trashy accent. And it's so unfair

(01:15:03):
because there are people in Pittsburgh withthat accent who are very very smart.
But are they I don't know.It's kind of its kind of hard to
buy sometimes, you know, eventhe people in Pittsburgh who are in positions

(01:15:25):
where you know, just to getthere, they have to be smart.
Like imagine being in a courtroom andthe judge walks in and then he sits
down and opens his mouth and saysokay. So nobody freaked out or nothing,
but uh. Jurors deliberated and concludedthe finist guilty, be reasonable.
That no, that a bottle.How I love the Pittsburgh I get where

(01:15:54):
like Sammy with the I can't Ican't take it. I'd tell you if
I needed heart surgery and I walkedin. The guy best heart surgeon in
the country, goes, hey,man, Hey, you know what we're
gonna do. We're gonna crack upin your chats and we're gonna get in
there. We're gonna get old Marty. Next. I'm gonna need to see
y'all preview plays, open show,all right, welcome back everybody? Or

(01:16:20):
uh tis the season for graduations andfor senior pranks. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, this is a good one. Kids in Maryland, they listed their
high school on Zillo forty two thousandand sixty nine dollars, so it's four
twenty sixty nine. Yeah, getthe kids. Did you see the parking

(01:16:45):
one? That one one kind ofviral just recently, the parking one.
Yeah, so they just everyone justparked all crazy to cover the parking lot.
Yeah, so, uh you know, it's a normal parking lot.
They would just like park and coverlike three stalls with one car and then
the other car would just be likeup on the curb. Like they just

(01:17:06):
made a total mess. Well ifthat kids funny. Listening to school on
Zillo, they described it as atwelve thousand, four hundred and fifty eight
square foot half working jail with twentybedrooms in fifteen bathrooms called all fifteen bathrooms
come with sewage issues, and there'sa nice spacious kitchen and dining room with
private basketball court. The school hada good sense of humor about that one.

(01:17:30):
Yeah, that's no, there's novictim. Yeah, and Zillo eventually
pulled the listing down. But nowthey're just pranking news. The school wasn't
so thrilled with these kids in Burlington, North Carolina. They got into their
school one night and they filled thetoilets and the urinals with cement. Oh,
that's just pure vandalism. That's nota prank, causing thousands of dollars
in damage, and the kids behindthey're looking at criminal charges. Great,

(01:17:53):
come on, just pranking. Ohthat's okay. I'm just come on,
man, I'm just a hater.That reminds me of my buddy's brother in
law. Try to flush cat lither down the toilet. Oh yeah,
idiot of the clumping stuff, diot? Yeah, how to replace everything.
The senior pranks in my day iswhen we would fill cups of water and

(01:18:15):
just put it all through the hall, so you had no choice but to
either kick them over or take themout. One by one. Wasn't that
crazy? Like, I know,well, we didn't have one when I
was a senior because that's when theyoutlawed them and if he got caught,
you weren't allowed to graduate. Said, I'm not doing anything. I was
one, Like what does that mean? You're not allowed to graduate? Like

(01:18:38):
you don't care to walk? Can'twalk? So what you wouldn't care?
Like Adam Crowla told a pretty funnystory. I guess there was a textbook
that he literally didn't know where itwas. He like legitimately had no idea
where it was. They wanted tocharge him. I think it was like
twenty five bucks for this missing textbook and they said, well, if
you don't pay it, he can'tgraduate, it's fine. And he never
paid it, never got his diploma, and this from North Hollywood High.

(01:19:00):
He's like whatever, you know what? He he was still a high school
graduate. He didn't get the stupidpiece of paper and walk across the stage,
which he didn't care about. Andthen it was years later North Hollywood
High had him back after he's famousand they finally gave him his diploma.

(01:19:21):
Still he's not paid for that bookand he refused it out of principle,
he's not going to pay for it. But like again, like all right,
so what that's more for your parents? Like if you don't get to
walk across like you still graduated.True, I think more people care than
don't. Yeah. Agree, I'mnot saying that you're wrong on that,
I think, but like if Iwas, if I'm in that situation and

(01:19:43):
they go, wow, that's theworst case scenario, I would probably risk
it. I think the other one, most definitely, not being able to
go to prom is a big deal. Yeah. Yeah, you see,
you wait till after prom, beforegraduation. I didn't let to walk across
the stage. I mean, whatever, you still graduate and he probably already
in you know, accepted to whatevercollege you're going to go to at that

(01:20:03):
point, right, but that's yourlast big high school miles exactly, big
ceremony to walk across that stage.Yeah that's cool. And then yeah I
get to do the whole thing withthe hat, and it's high school so
it feels like way longer. Yeah, I mean you're asking the wrong dude,
you know. Well yeah see,yeah, I'm not surprised you have
that opinion. I have no romanticmemory or idea of high school or any

(01:20:30):
school of any kind, right,like would have been more like Adam Corolla
for sure, I'm definitely not eightseven seven forty four Hit us up with
that text out to two two nineeight seven show. We are into another

(01:20:59):
new hour eight sensitivity training for apolitically correct world. Thank you for being
here, everybody. I'm Woody.That's Raby. There's Greg Gory. Good
morning. Wood Menace is our socialmedia director. What is that? You
can find us. You can followus at the Woody Show Instagram and Twitter
or on Facebook, Facebook dot com, slash the Woody Show. Do that.
There's Sammy, good Morning. Wegot Sea Bats, we got bored,
we got Caroline. There's Morgan,there's Vaughan. You on the phones

(01:21:24):
have an opportunity to be a partof the show as well. Eight seven
seven forty four Woody. That's eightseven seven forty four Woody. Raby found
some game, yes huh that shewants to. We're gonna be her guinea
pigs. Okay, will She's gonnatry this out on us? All right?
Yeah? Well yeah, she sayswe're gonna like it. Okay,

(01:21:45):
what I feel? That's like,you know when my parents just say this
is gonna hurt me? Will youmore than hurt you? And then not
that when last and you get yourass beat? Yeah, how does this
hurt you more than me? I'mnot really following. Yeah, I'm on
the receiving out of the belt hereto. Yeah, you run the house and

(01:22:06):
you make the rules and can dowhatever the hell you want. Right,
you can stay up late. Yeah, some news out of the world of
political correctness. That's the question.It's the first time racism has ever worked
for somebody? Uh, do youremember that story out of New York the
U the bird watcher, the guy, Oh yeah, he was a legit

(01:22:27):
birdwatcher and then some Yeah this likewoman you're calling everybody Karen first started the
Karen movement. Yeah first Yeah,So the woman in New York, she
called the cops on this guy,claiming that he threatened her. Turns out
he did nothing wrong and he wasjust watching birds. Right. Well,
that fifty nine year old guy,Christian Cooper, he has his own bird
watching show, a national geographic.It's it's it's premiering that rule. Yeah,

(01:22:55):
he's in the show. It's calledExtraordinary Birder really yeah, and it's
gonna premiere on June seventeenth. Nobodyknew who this guy was until this woman
decided to be racist. Can wemake an argument that racism actually worked for
somebody? How about that silver lining? Oh wow, if you will to

(01:23:16):
that incident, that's amazing. I'vebeen staying with my brother, Yeah,
and all of a sudden, mybrothers into hummingbirds, like tracking their migration.
Yeah. I was like, he'shitting that age because my grandparents love
hummingbirds, hummingbird feeders, hummingbird jewelry. He has this hummingbird feeder and we're

(01:23:41):
hanging out in his living room andhe's like, oh, we got some
hummingbirds. And he like goes upto the window and he's talking about it
and he's very excited and he's like, don't you want to come over and
see it? And I'm like,I can see it from here. Cool,
No, No, come on.Part of his joy does he make

(01:24:01):
his own stuff that goes in thefeeder, that liquid with sugar, sugar
water, sugar water. He does. He's got a special recipe sugar and
that's that. That is definitely oldpeople's stuff. And he was identifying whatever
type of hummingbird it was. Yeah, you didn't tell him about the bird
feeders with cameras on him, didyou no, he might get into that.

(01:24:25):
It's almost like it's almost like aring doorbell type thing for bird feeders,
So it starts recording as soon asthe birds get near it. So
when he's not around Ray, Yeah, and then he can tug to that,
yeah, because it's sexual for him. Right. Yes, I saw
something really funny. Um, therewas a picture we follow, Uh,

(01:24:48):
we follow the account of the resortthat we like to stay at in Mexico,
and anybody who knows what's going onin the in the Gulf of Mexico
and also that in Florida too withall that sea we that's like coming in
or whatever on the uh yeah,on the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. They
the thing is the resort that westay at. They are phenoenomenal, like

(01:25:11):
clearing it all that stuff. Thebeach looks awesome. They have this one
it's like a beach rake that's uh, you know, attached like a tractor
or whatever. It doesn't I lovewatching this thing. Every time this thing
goes by, I am like I'mmesmerized. I'm like a little kid watching
the car struck show up at youknow, like can the little kids get
into that? You know? Andso um. There was a picture that
some wife posted like, uh,this is what my husband's been doing all

(01:25:34):
week long and took a picture ofhim watching and taking a picture on his
phone of this tractor going by,And my wife and I were laughing about
you know, when women are sittingthere going, he's probably thinking about some
other chick. He's probably thinking about. Or he's on the beach and he's
like, oh, he's probably lookingat all these women in bikinis and stuff
they're walking by. He's like,you know, yeah, no, we're

(01:25:56):
watching the tractor. Yeah, whatis he thinking about? Like he's laying
in bed, like you know,your sister in law rave is sitting there
going, I wonder what he's thinkingabout right now. He's probably thinking about
that hot chicken work blah blah blahblah blah, and how much you wants
to have sex with the and blahblah bla blah blah. Yeah, No,
he's thinking about the hummingbirds. He'sthinking of a hummingbird to patterns.
Yeah, like I need to goto the store and get more sugar.
Yeah, you're worried about the wrongstuff. Yeah. I have been on

(01:26:18):
the phone with my dad when hesaid, oh, hold on a second,
I got the hummingbird stuff on thestove. Oh god. But it's
like, at what points you becomelike my stepfather where you're just watching the
weather channel on purpose and there's noteven a significant weather event. You're just
you just have it on. Idon't know when does that happen? The
only person I've ever met that watchesthat, Yeah, Like, like,

(01:26:40):
how would your brother ravet fifty two? Like did that? Did that hit
him at fifty? Ready he hasearly onset bird obsession, I know,
because that should be like sixty five. I know that's way too young.
And I'm saying like, man,I and honestly, I agree with you.
Know what we were joking about,Like I would watch that tractor over

(01:27:01):
some chick walking by in a bikini. Every time I've seen chicks and bikinis,
I've not seen this thing. Thisis something new. I never I
don't see this all the time.You can see a chicken bikini anytime anywhere
anywhere. In fact, I gotone staying in my room right, I
can see yeah and more this tractor. Oh man, I've even thought like,

(01:27:23):
man, I wonder if they letme drive it, because you know
everybody's on the take clean it up. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, let
me try. Let me do acouple of sweeps up and down the beach.
Easy would so cool. I waswatching Celebrity I Owe You with the
Property Brothers and the celebrity was GlennClose and she got to ride a back

(01:27:45):
home and like all the stuff,and she loved it. She said,
I think I want to quit actingand just do this all day. Sheez.
Wow, buddy knows that about GlenCloth. Yeah, she is a
notorious everybody knows it. Ye,Raby Luck in the news. The guy
in Kentucky, he was on theroad, fuel light just burning bright.

(01:28:05):
He's running on fumes. This guybarely made you ever do that? We're
like, oh yeah, You're like, oh my god, calculate like un
to work and I wait an hour. Now. That's one thing I don't
understand because I've never actually run outof gas. I've cut it close.
Yeah yeah, but there are peoplewho on a regular they run out of
gas. I've met a couple ofthem here recently. I forget how the

(01:28:26):
conversation came up. And they go, oh yeah, it's happened to me
a couple of times where she's hadto come and bring me some gas on
the side the run. You knowthat little thing that tells you how many
miles you have left. I've goneas low as single digits before zero.
Yeah, and it's like a hundreddegrees outside him in the middle of the
desert and praying that I make itdo a gas station. Yeah, so,
I mean you're running on fumes.That's what this guy in Kentucky was

(01:28:47):
doing. He barely made it,coasted into the closest gas station he could
find, and while he was there, he bought a lottery ticket and won
a million dollars. A million dollarsrule, Oh wow, so cool.
Just happened to be there, likehe's filling up, you know that he
wouldn't have been there other time.Like maybe I'll go and get something to

(01:29:09):
drink or right, I'm in hereand maybe get like a snack or a
lottery ticket. A million dollars ripgod him, that's so cool. The
only place I buy them is thosevending machines at a grocery store. Yeah,
because right, but never again,I've never won, not even a
ticket. I've won a hundred bucksoff those, but that's it. Okay.

(01:29:29):
Yeah, well they say, well, you can't win if you don't
play. That's right. You alsocan't go broke buying lottery tickets with nothing
to show for it. You're notplaying, right, both can be true.
Yeah, so what's his game?You've got? The game is called
a delve deck. Delve deck basicallywhat it is. It reminded me of
those questions we did, like getto know you questions, right, and

(01:29:53):
that's what they bill it as,like, you know, ice breaker type
questions, questions to get to knowpeople better and not like super deep.
They're very on the surface, butyou know it would help break the ice
if you were hanging with somebody new, Okay, okay, And so these
are questions you're gonna ask us.Yeah, okaye, you delve into us.

(01:30:15):
We're gonna take a delve into theWoody Show, all right with me?
Yeah? Well, so Raby foundthis, We're gonna we're gonna try
this sound next. We're gonna beher guinea pigs, all right, eight
seven seven forty four. What ifyou want to call in hit us up
with the text over to two tonine eight seven. The question is here,
do we trust Raby? Whoa bru? We will see? Yeah,

(01:30:39):
because Raby said that she found somethingand she wants to try it on us,
all right, she told us beforethe break. It's something called a
delve deck. Right, It's like, what does she need to know them?
It's not that I need to know. This is for the listeners.
I think they'll enjoy it. Okay, cool, as we delve into certain

(01:30:59):
things, Like I said, they'renot deep. Sounds ominous to me.
They're just fun questions. And Ithink you've done a very poor job of
it's what he's paranoid. Yeah,well, I mean it's not like I'm
a keeper of secrets or hiding things. No, not at all, not
at all. Well, when itcomes to my own personal stuff, sure,
yeah, I can't imagine what shewould ask that we would be uncomfortable

(01:31:21):
with answering nothing, nothing, that'snot this is That's what she said.
She gonna be very awkward, andwe're gonna delve deep into things that are
very very personal. Right, emotionalnudity, yea, let's get naked,

(01:31:41):
all right? So I am kidding. Raby's got these questions, she said,
it's kind of like those um thosegetting to know you right, We
had that thing about They said,well, if you ask, if you
ask people these questions, like thechances of you falling in love with that
person even if you had nothing elsein common after discussing these certain things like
I forget what the percentage was superhot right and uh? And so we

(01:32:01):
did those questions around the room.Give us an example, rave, give
us one of the questions. Whatdid you regularly regularly eat as a kid
that you wouldn't touch today? Mm, I wouldn't touch today like mine
is easy. When I was akid, I loved radishes rash and I

(01:32:21):
would eat like I would pop radishes. Yes, I would never eat radish
today. I think they're disgusting.Love them tastes like nothing. They're either
nothing slash slightly spicy terrible. Yeah, see Greg's radishes. He likes beats,

(01:32:43):
love beats. I love basically Yeah. I like eating basically everything.
Yeah everything. Oh something we hadas a kid that I would never even
touched? I think I told youMy mom would make salmon patties. Oh
yeah, you get canned salmon,makes it with like breadcrumbs and eggs,
and stuff like that and make theminto like burger patties and cook them up,
and that's what we ate those,and I remember liking them. I

(01:33:05):
would never eat that canned salmon.I wouldn't even the fresh as salmon from
the fishmarket. I tried. It'sone of those things I tried to like
as an adult and I just couldn'tdo salmon. Yeah, salmon's so good,
so good. Yeah, it's likevelvety menace. As a kid,
I lived off corn dogs and peanutbutter and jelly. But I would eat
that today. You don't eat thatright right now, but it was in

(01:33:28):
front of me. But I thinkas a kid, I was addicted to
cottage cheese and I would eat thatalmost every other day. But then as
I got older, I hated it. I'm slowly starting to like it again.
But did you try to conduct Itold you about? No, I
didn't. Yeah, good culture.It's available at all the targets, and
not all grocery stores with like certainchains. I forget which one. It's

(01:33:51):
available at most places I've been readilyavailable. It's really good. I used
to love cottage cheese as a kid. For some reason, stopped liking it.
Yeah, it's just to creamy.Yeah that's good. Yeah, mine
would be like not normal stuff becauseI probably liked less as a kid.
Now I like everything, But whatI did as a kid when my parents

(01:34:12):
were sleeping, I would sneak outof my room and go eat butter straight,
like cut it off the thing andthen eat butter. And then I
would also like lean my head back, pour syrup in my mouth and just
drink syrup, syrup and straight butter. I thought of something else. My
uh my, my grandfather and mydad would tell me that when I was

(01:34:35):
a little kid, I would sitthere with my grandfather and I would eat
sardines in Limburger cheese and never andwith no weird face, limburger cheese,
tasting a key out of your dog'sbuttle. Never, that's what it smells
like. It smells like somebody likelike not just farted, like crapped in
the room. Yeah, you wouldn'tbe sardine today, sure wouldn't. See.

(01:35:00):
When I was a kid, Iloved, loved every day bologny sandwiches.
I absolutely loved bologney. And thenI just found it disgusting one day.
Really, yeah, I don't likeit. I such as haven't had
that, Yeah, but I wouldhave an adult You don't really think about
boney with Nannaise Raby's new delve deckthat she's got all these different questions.

(01:35:21):
What's question number two? What's theworst thing you've stepped on in the dark?
It's easy for me. I steppedinto a puddle of cat vomit once.
Oh it was sick minds. Yeah, a vomit and poopoo with the
dogs and poopoo, yeah, becausethey love eating it. And then oh

(01:35:43):
you think in the dark, Yeah, probably a bug. Oh maybe you
stepped on yeah, because I didn'tknow it was on the floor. Did
you even realize what I mean?Like, not this bug? Probably like
a spider or something. Yeah.But in the daytime, I once stepped
on a yellow jacket, you knowthat because they bite and sting. Yeah.

(01:36:03):
Oh man, that hurt. Yeah, you know when that happens.
Yeah. The only thing I alwaystook comfort is knowing that they died.
I don't know if it is thatwhat happens, Like a bee stings you
and then you die the bee dies, Yeah, I don't know if the
yellow jacket does. But when Istepped on I'm sure I smushed it.
That's why I would tell my kidstoo, Like every time my kids would
get stung, you know, it'sthey're literally like, hey, you know

(01:36:25):
what the cool thing is once theysting you, they die? Yeah,
like good. Yeah, I wouldprobably say it was either a puke or
pooh from from from the down todog? Did you ever catch a lego
in the dark? No, becausethat stuff's that like not in our room,
you know what I mean. It'slike and it's you know, we've

(01:36:45):
always kept that kind of stuff toa certain area of the house. Sometimes
you kick a chair or something likethat. Oh god, you have to
step in it. Yeah right yeah. Uh delve deck question number three.
What does everyone making too big adeal about? Oh? Like, for
me, it would be scandival.I never want to see this headline or

(01:37:13):
hear about this dumb guy ever again. Scandival scandal. And by the way,
I saw something over the weekend whereI thought this guy was like a
big deal. Yeah he's on SouthwestYeah yeah, yeah, like, oh
he was talking to so and sobecause they saw like they got a picture
of the screen on his phone.Yeah it was her name on whoever the

(01:37:35):
other person. But these people aren'trich. Yeah, I think these big
deals. I just put him inthe same as the Kardashians or something.
I'm like, yeah, but thisdude's a big deal and he's on south
to get rich from this. Uh. Keanu Reeves was just at the airport
the other day, he was flyingSouthwest. Yeah. No, I've seen
other big stars, but I thoughtI put them in the class of like

(01:37:57):
class I put him. I puthim in the category of like kardash were,
like they were all these like seenbe seen type of people, and
uh, you know, they werealways like flossing and flaunting, you know,
their lifestyle. I thought it wasone of those people who wouldn't be
caught dead on commercial There's plenty ofpeople who are super cool. I bet
Brian Crampton in line for for Southwest. No, they're they're not in the

(01:38:20):
realm of people pretending to be rich, like like the Real Housewives who are
like they're supposed to be wealthy.These are people that you know, were
rapper. These are people that weren'tat at restaurants that are trying to yeah,
trying to make it. Yeah,well, why can't they be in
the realm of I've never heard ofit, right, right, all right,

(01:38:42):
so repeat the question one more time, right, what's everybody making too
big a deal about? That's alittle bit different than you're just sick of
hearing about it, um, exactly, because there are plenty of things that
are big deals that I'm just sickof hearing about exactly. Like you mentioned,
Oh, that poor guy for thebill, you were done, well,
I wasn't. I wasn't done withthat. I was done with the

(01:39:05):
part of the story where it's likeeverybody was acting as if he had died.
He didn't die. He's still alive, you know, be like,
oh, well, you know,tribute for this tribute, like dude,
the guy's still here. Yeah,and we're doing it like two weeks later,
like he didn't die. You wereso over it. Yeah, this

(01:39:26):
is this is making too big adeal. Let us think about it.
Then we'll come back from the breakwith the answers. I don't want to
take up all this airtime thinking yeah, and well, we'll we put up
this question to the text as well. What is something you think people are
making too big a deal over?Mm hmmm, over to the two two

(01:39:47):
nine eight seven. Let us knowwhat you think. We'll get some more
answers next after the break, hangup? Can I offer you a nice
egg and try? All right?So Raby has these questions that you guys
something called a delve deck, likewe're gonna delve into this right right,

(01:40:11):
And one of the questions that sheasked, and we were trying to come
up with our answers on the spot, and then we decided we're gonna take
the break to think about it andthen and then come back with the answer.
Raby the question again, please,what is everyone making too big of
a deal about? Okay? Andthen immediately I thought of three things.
Oh, okay, yeah, theroyal family for sure, right, Like,

(01:40:31):
it's one thing if you live there. It's another thing if you live
here. Why I know why?It is weird it's a weird phenomenon.
The other one, Taylor Swift,way too big of a deal and you
can put that in up there withlike Beyonce and all the other ones.
It was just over the top nonsense, blind worshiped for right, any other

(01:40:54):
thing. And I'll probably get acouple of emails about this one. Pronouns
who cares? Yeah, I thinkwhat these? I think the pronouns the
people who are really uptight about thepronouns and the whole thing. They are
the people setting land mines for everybodyelse. They want you to step on
one, like they're they're waiting likethis is like their chance, Like I'm
gonna catch it to gotcha thing right, right, Like nobody cares, right,

(01:41:16):
nobody cares. Just do your thing. Nobody cares. Right. But
like if you starting to like everybody'sgot to have them in a profile or
otherwise they're this or that the other. I'm seeing less of that now though.
Well I think it's people got fedup. Yeah, well I'm glad.
Yeah, yeah, there's pronouns fatigue, yeahs, yeah, like who
cares? Like but then you're partof the problem. I'm saying. Might

(01:41:40):
do whatever you want to do,that's fine, but like like you're making
this a huge deal about it.Nobody else's thinks it's a big deal except
for you. And if someone happensto get one wrong or whatever and miss
it on it, just go correctthem and move on right having a full
blown melt down Like those people Ithink are setting land mines and they're just
waiting to catch somebody, not you, using in appropriately, using the wrong

(01:42:01):
one so they can get them andsee. Yeah, see everybody, how
terrible you are, Like, shutup right, God, what was yours?
Greg Mine? You kind of alludedto it when you said Taylor Swift.
Mine was just kind of concerts orbands in general. If you can't
afford to go to the show,guess what, don't go right, I'm

(01:42:23):
freaking out over Well, then hey, I would love to have an aston
Martin. I can't afford to one. Guess what, I'm not gonna get
one, and it's not easy.And then when you do go, it's
such a big deal, like,oh there's you know, you're taking videos
and all that. And then ifa band is working on new music,
it's in the news like so andso is rumored to be making a new
album. Well yeah, I wouldthink, so what do for a living?

(01:42:46):
Yeah, it's so dumb. Ifyou'll be on the air tomorrow morning,
rumored to be on the air nextweek, I would hope. Yeah,
that's what we do, right?Yeah? Men, it's what's yours?
My forever one will be Radiohead.If we're talking music, just I
hate it. And then okay,if we want to get spicy, we

(01:43:06):
want to get a little crazy,guys. I just people making too big
a deal about it. Go aheadand just say it. Non trans people
being obsessed with trans people, LikeI hear more about trans people from non
trans people all day every day,Like you really evaluate your life, how
much does it really affect you?It doesn't. It doesn't, it doesn't.

(01:43:30):
But there's people that just want totalk about it all day every day.
That's the new. That's the new. They're obsessed with this one from
Harambe too. There's between two allthe all the you know, Black Lives
Matter stuff that was like everything happenedsomehow draw back to that and now this

(01:43:51):
is the way trans thing. Yeah, it's kind of the other way around.
I think a lot. I knowa lot of trans people who it's
all they talk about is being trans. Hey, I'm perfectly fine with it.
You won't stop talking about it.Look at my I'm beautiful, like,
oh my god. Yeah. Butpeople would say the same thing about

(01:44:11):
gay people. Great, and alot of gay people like Fred Mike right,
I only to gay baseball games.I only go to the game at
the resort. Population and numbers likeit. Really, as a non trans
person, it doesn't really affect yourlife in any ways, something I'm to
be talking about it every single dayis absolutely absurd. The only thing I'm

(01:44:33):
not cool that I was out ofthe discussion altogether because we've got I'm with
you, I don't care, iswhen like the kids stuff started coming through
it, Like I draw the linethere. I mean, I mean until
like like affects your life immediately.I don't know, Like Sammy, what's
yours? Mine's the bud Light thing. I really all the controversy, no

(01:44:56):
one will buy it, and it'sworking out for you cheap prices, Yes,
that's right. Care I really don't. And I people bring it up
to me because I love bud Lightand I'm just like, I don't care.
I really don't. Yeah. Yeah, I got a lot of text
saying the bud Light controversy. Yeah. Well, the good news is there
is plenty for anybody who wants todrink a bud Light and phenomenal prices.
Yes, don't let it expire,some pretty great price. I saw a

(01:45:18):
story where they were selling the Itwas a twenty four pack for three forty
nine so over Memorial Day weekend.So I mean I trying to get rid
of it before it expires. Washanging out of a pool. Over to
the holiday weekend, there's still plentyof people drinking it loves in Palm Springs.
God forbid boxed wine controversy. Todrive those prices down. Yeah,

(01:45:40):
let's drive those down. This isthe Woody Show, Honey. I want,
I want a beautiful song, honey. You know, all right,
welcome back. Normally we do thison a on a Monday, but because
we were off for the long holidayweekend that I know it. I thought

(01:46:02):
about it a lot yesterday. I'mlike, you know what, right about
now, we would be telling everybodywho won the redneck news story the way
he's gonna have to just gonna haveto win. Yeah, yeah, all
right, So thank you for yourvotes everybody over the long holiday weekend.
We do have the results. Knowwho's moving on into the playoff round.
And just a quick recap of thenominees. Notty number one Trevor McGuire there

(01:46:25):
in Rhode Island, who got himselfarrested and earned himself a lifetime ban from
Walmart after puffing and puffing on somestolen cans of air duster there in the
men's bathroom. Dust uh. Nottenumber two was Laura Minyard in Ohio who
gave the chapel a crappy, unwelcomemakeover when she walked in. She took

(01:46:45):
a dump on the altar and somefinger painting with her with her her cuca.
Yeah notte number three, the sixtyfour year old guy in Louisville who
got himself in hot water after heshot his roommate in the ass for eating
the last hot pocket, because that'show to handle it. And then uh
not even number four Timothy Baggott they'rein Illinois, who stole a baco and

(01:47:09):
drove it ten miles to the airportto catch a flight. Yeah huh.
All right, so those are thenominees. Who is moving on into the
playoff round? Your votes determined that. But just for funzies, we're going
around the room and we will startwith you, Ravy. I gotta go
with getting shot over a hot pocket, all right, Only a redneck would
do that, That's right, whogets that upset hot pocket? Maybe mess

(01:47:32):
because he pretends to still love them. Listen, I'm sure you love it,
I know, but you have Yeah, I don't think you would hate
them. I'm saying, like,as a grown ass person, you have
the option of so many things rightat your disposal, at your fingertips and
now doors and everything else endless.You mean to tell me that you,
on purpose you would eat a hotpocket. Yeah they're good. Yeah,

(01:47:53):
no, they will do in apinch, but not you gotta be starving.
You can say the same about popcharts as an adult. You have
all these options. Why are youhaving a pop tart? Because they're good?
Yeah, But the thing is likethe middle of that hot pocket,
it is just nothing but lava.It's too well, well, it's too
watery, is little? I do? You put it in the freezer and
put the cold Yeah, but notcooked and the rest of its lava.

(01:48:17):
Right, he's not doing it right? All right, that's fine, Greg
Gory. I like the guy thatwrote the back Home for ten miles to
the airport. Yeah, and justyeah, he's so confident. Yeah,
caught his wagger, caught his flightto Nevada. That's hilarious. Manis who
get your vote? I mean,I love the hot pockets story, but
number one is ultra redneck. We'retalking about huffing at a Walmart lifetime band,

(01:48:42):
lifetime time, which is very sad. Yeah, what about you Sammy,
I have to go with the hotpocket story the hot pocket store too.
Yeah. Man, man, itwas like a It was a three
way, a hot three way betweenthe Walmart guy, the hot Hackey guy,
and then the Baco guy. Bythe end, I gotta go.

(01:49:02):
Who shoots somebody over a hot pocketand a roommate at his age? Yeah?
Am I am? I thinking aboutthe Uh? I think about the
right story? Or is this adifferent Oh? Was this like the guy
who said, oh no, no, no, I'm thinking about something else.
There was some other fight recently wherethe guy was just asking about the
broken windows of their mobile home.That was That was the frozen chicken one.

(01:49:26):
Yeah, I was getting I wasgetting my people flipping out and attacking
people with food or over food stories. All confused, But yeah, I
will go with a nominee number three. The results are in, Ladies and
gentlemen, only one can move oninto the playoff round. Like I said,
your votes determined that your official rednecknews story of the week. Here

(01:49:49):
we go, ladies and gentlemen.It's number three, hot pocket, hot
pocket. And so many people wereasking like, well, what flavor hot
pocket was it? Yeah? Idon't even know how many there are,

(01:50:09):
but there's like four had to bepepperoni. Yeah, say, oh,
there's more than that, more thanthere's there's a ton yeah, the big
and poled collection, the big collection. Yeah, because I know there's um
it's like a Philly cheese steak,one pepperoni pizza. Right, Yeah,
there's the pepperoni one. Of coursehe's counting. That's all I can oh

(01:50:31):
to meet back on. Yeah,I mean I think I was right about
thirty. About thirty he's counting out. Yeah, yeah, Okay, that
shows how long it's been. Steakand nacho. Congratulations to Clifton Williams there
in Louisville, Kentucky for him.We're gonna put this certificate here, Clifton
in the mail. Your name's onthem, and you know you're moving on
into the playoff round, one stepcloser to get your name etched it on

(01:50:55):
that beautiful red Neck news Story ofthe Year trophy. We're gonna take a
quick break. We got some moreWoody Show for you. Next, hang
on Insensitivity Training for a politically correctWorlds, The Woody Show. All right,
time to wrap up and get outof here, everybody. Finally,
the conclusion the climax, if youwill, of that big homework topic that

(01:51:17):
we were working on the oddest placeyou've knocked one out. So finally the
feedback on that one, because thispast Sunday was National Masturbation Day. Thank
you for all your feedback on ourFacebook, after ours, voicemails and calling
in today. You don't really knowthat moment's going to hit. That's true.

(01:51:38):
You might surprise yourself with how muchyou entertain that option at that moment
and then go through with it andthen instant shame and then have something calling
with it. Silly topic. Thatplus the redneck News, brand new Today,
trading news headlines, Rabi's nerned outthat and more, you can all
be found on the Tuesday podcast.Just hit up the Woody Show dot com

(01:51:59):
back tomorrow morning with more of whateverthis is whatever we do. But the
meantime you can get us on theafter hours voicemail and I think you got
eight seven seven forty four Woody.That's eight seven seven forty four Woody,
And make sure you give us afollow on social media at the Woody Show
on Instagram and Twitter or on Facebook, Facebook dot com, slash the Woody
Show right Raby Meta Sea Bass,Sammy, anything you'd like to add that

(01:52:21):
yet, great Gory, parting wordsof wisdom please, Yeah, if you're
trying to impress somebody with your vehicle, make sure it's a food truck.
That's impressive. That's impressive. No, I thought was really cool. What
I thought? I saw this foodtruck where they had a soda fountain built
to the side of it. Yeah, you know, like like on the

(01:52:42):
side that could you pick up yourfood. And then right to the left
they had like the soda fountain builtin so you can get your own drink.
It wasn't it just like cans orbottles or whatever. That's pretty cool.
Soft serve machine. Would also bepretty full size firetruck where they haullowed
out the back and made a pizzaoven. Oh, nicety, that's pretty
cool. Firewaiting to happen. That'sall right, Thank you very much,

(01:53:06):
great Gory. Thank you so muchfor giving the Woody Show some of your
valuable time this morning. You knowwe'd love it to appreciate you for that.
The rest of you guys can suckit. Catch them back here on
Wednesday. Have a great day.SMD double M Quit this bitch.