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May 28, 2024 1 min
Experiencing your first earthquake, and how to exact your brutal revenge. 
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Channel ninety three three. Today wasthe day I felt my first earthquake.
It was terrifying, but my fearquickly turned to anger. Nobody is allowed
to make me pee my pants inmy own house. Only beer before bed

can do that, and sometimes whenI sneeze really hard. So screw you
Earth, Yes where Earth? Iwent to the park and beat the crap
out of the Earth. I kickedEarth's sass and reclaimed my manhood triumphantly.
I went back to my apartment.What the hell is that? An after

shot? Furious, I left myhouse again, went to the drug store.
Or don't diapers? Huh? I'mjust thinking them up for my grandma.
Came on Earth? Now we wait? What the hell was that?
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