October 19, 2022 • 27 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental health podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today's episode Super Bowl Champion and 2021 Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Andrew Whitworth joins Jay for a powerful discussion on life, the Super Bowl, battling your demons and much more. Plus, Andrew shares his unbreakable moment!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental
health podcast with Jay Glazer. I am Jay Glazer, and look,
I have been very open about needing certain teammates in
(00:25):
my life, people that I lean into as I've struggled.
I used to sit there and suffer in silence. But
I've needed a fight team. I've needed people I can
lean into and walk this walk together with. And my
guest right now, I probably leaned into this man more
than just about everybody else in my life. Um, when
I struggle, he's one of the people that I immediately
(00:47):
called because he gets me. And you'll probably be surprised
that he gives me so much because he is man Mr. Everything.
He's Walter Payton Man of the Year Award winner, he's
a Super Bowl champion, and he is probably the most
handsome guy who's ever played in the National Football League.
Let's just say that he looks exactly like me, except
you know, eight ft taller and eight hundred pounds. Have
(01:09):
your that is uh, my boy, Andrew Witworth, how are
your brother? I'm good brother. Thank you so much for
let me come on here with you today. No, absolutely
letting you come on. You kid me and people don't
realize that. Look, when I wrote my book Unbreakable, and
I tried to explain what mental health issues were, what
the gray was, Andrew and I were sitting in Cabo
with Sean McVeigh in the famous weekend when we did
(01:33):
happen to run into Matthew Stafford in Cabo. Just happened,
you know, just happened. To write a lot of people
you run into in a hot tub, you know, it
started in the hot dub, went back to worth room,
next thing, you know. Matt Stafford, he's a ramp go figure.
You know. I love at first sight. No, it's uh,
(01:54):
that was a special week I'll never forget us visiting
and talking about you writing your book and obviously wow,
to think we're both of us have gone from there,
it's pretty crazy. So but here we are and we're
trying to explain to Sean what the gray is. And
and McVey, you know, he's our first guest we ever had.
I always say like he didn't get it because his
life was like a night light, right like man, he
(02:14):
didn't understand, and then you said something and he turned
to you and said, wait, what you too? You suffer
from the gray. Do you remember what you said to him?
I don't remember the exact words, but I remember that
reaction because it's one of those things that as a
you know, him being my coach and me being the player,
even though we were you know, really close friends and all,
(02:35):
this is really something we had never dived into together.
Like he would like say things like, hey, man, sometimes
when I can tell you're in that mood, like it's
like nothing can possibly stop you. And then there's moments
where I'm like, man, I don't know what's going on.
And he always thought that was like disinterest to play
football or something, and what he had no idea it was.
It was really like I'm battling demons over here that
(02:57):
are telling me like I don't belong and I'm not
even suppose to be where I am in life in general,
like forget football, like just you're not even supposed to
be here in this moment. And I think it blew
him away to hear that that's really what was going
on in that moment. Yeah, well, you also said, he
said you you said yes, Sean, you think I'm fucking normal.
(03:18):
What do you think gives me a forty years all
to put a helmet on his beast, Aaron Donald the
head all these years you kid me. Of course I'm
sucked up. Is exactly what I said. You have to
be to blay football at forty You've got issues. I
don't care who you are, you you and I want you.
Were telling Sean about these demons, and I think it's
real important are our listeners because they look at you again,
(03:39):
Maud Walter Payton Man in the Year, and they look like, man,
this guy has it so together. Um, in certain ways
you do, but certain ways you don't. You have these demons.
Explain your demons? Yeah, I think to me, it's just um.
You know, things like Walter Payton Man in the Year
are some of the hardest things for me to accept
because I've always looked at it like, man, I just
care about people, and and so if I'm getting this award,
(04:02):
I'm being honored for something, It's just really about the
love I have for everybody I live life with, regardless
of where they come from, what they look like. I
don't give a crap, Like I just want us all
to have great moments together and enjoy life and reach
the next step. But whatever it is we dream to.
But for me personally, it's about you know, I understand
sometimes I can have empathy for people in tough situations
because it's even if you look at me and say, hey,
(04:24):
you got this NFL player who's played in a ton
of games, been to Pro Bowls, done all these things.
I mean, I still have mornings where I wake up
and just like I don't deserve any of this, like
and none of this should I be allowed to have,
Like everything should be taken for me. And sometimes I
wake up in fear like it's gonna be um just
because and that kind of like puts me in this
(04:44):
little web or concoction, if you will, that I almost
feel like I'm in a straight jacket and I'm not,
you know, And it's like I feel like I can't
move today because I just don't think I'm worthy of
anything that's happened to me in my life and my children,
my wife, all of it. And I can't ever predict
when it comes. It's just it's just a random thing
can trigger it, you know, whether it's so. When I
(05:06):
was a young kid, and I know you've shared some
of this, and obviously reading your book, I know about it,
but it was always associated with change. So like if
I went on a trip with my dad or my mom,
I went somewhere on our way back for whatever reason,
when I'd be sitting in the car and we drive
back from somewhere, like I would just have these breakdowns
in the back of the car, Like I don't even
think my parents ever knew it. I would just sit
back there and cry, and I had no idea what
(05:29):
was going on. Like I just was like so scared
to go back to school the next day and to
like get back to normal life and and and be lonely,
if that was the word. And I would have moments
even in high school where I'd sit on the couch
and my parents be watching TV and they wouldn't even
know him in the rooms. I wouldn't speak, but I'd
be crying over there. They wouldn't even know it, like
you know, because I just keep my back to him
where It's just like I just wanted to sit in
(05:50):
the same room as um because for whatever reason, I
was having this feeling like I'm all alone and like
everything's gone. But I'm the only person here. It's just
those feelings like everything is about to be torn away
from you constantly. And I think it's important to two
dudes like us talk this openly, you know, and you
and I do talk about it provably. I think it's
(06:10):
real cool that we're able to talk about it this way.
I still have those days while I just cry for
no reason. I did it the other day and I
called you, right, I tweeted about it. Um, do you
still just wake up crying? Still have those days? Yeah?
I still have moments where, you know, I don't even
know what triggered it. You know, it's like, yeah, you
hear people like you know, it's like people say, oh,
(06:31):
I turned the channel because I'm depressing. Like you know,
animal commercial came on with Sarah McLaughlin singing. It made
me sad. I'm like, that's how I feel on a
random Tuesday day AM when I wake up. Sometimes you know,
it's like I can hear the song going to my
song in my head. You know. It's just one of
those things that, Yeah, I still have moments even now,
(06:52):
like having accomplished all I have and done in my
career and then having this exciting new chapter of life
and being involved in media. There's still time is where
I just wake up and I'm like, I don't know what,
I'm so sad about it. I don't know why I
think the world's ending tomorrow, but this is how I feel.
And I think sometimes people see the juice and the
energy and the positivity you live life with and they think, well,
(07:13):
how would this person ever experience that? And I think
for me, it's like a conscious thing that I'm always like, no,
I'm I'm you know what. I'm bringing juice to them.
I bring energy and be happiness because I know what
it feels like down in those depths, and I'm gonna
do everything I can when I walk in a room
and when I meet people to to just encase they're
(07:34):
having that day. I don't I don't want to let
them go there. I don't want to let them be there.
So I'm gonna just be relentlessly positive with them or
re lentlessly just hey, let's have some fun. Let's make
this the best, because I just if there is anybody
sitting there with that feeling, I want them to just
change it. Right now, what Andrew is talking about right now,
it's as authentic as you get. And I was there
(07:54):
with them on and this one man, it'll it'll stick
with me forever. I was with Andrew after they on
the Super Bowl. We're in the car together and you'd
think you'd be jumping for joy. Instead I'm texting him saying,
what's wrong, bro, you what's going on? Right? And you
weren't jumping for joy instead you were like exactly your
response is exactly what you're telling us here. Yeah, it was.
(08:17):
I was sitting there like I don't deserve any of this.
Something terrible is gonna happen in the next couple of minutes.
It's gonna like take it away. Yeah. Remember you kept
like reaching out being like are you good? Are you good?
I'm like, you know what, I'm just trying to process it.
And it was really a version of me just trying
to all right, You've had this big moment and then
(08:40):
right now, like those demons are talking to you, you know,
and it's like, instead of thinking about winning a Super
Bowl and you know, just the crazy, unbelievable story that
was my last year of my career, all I was
thinking about is it's over. Football is over for you.
You have no purpose it's all done. Like everything you
fall for, your whole life's over with. That was your
(09:01):
only purpose in life. And I knew I was retiring,
and it was like all I could think about was
every negative scenario that could come up with in my
head for why it wasn't a great moment instead of
just being in the moment and being clocked into right
where my feet were in that exact moment. And it's
and it's not like, listen, Drew didn't sign up for
(09:22):
his mental health issues. I didn't sign up for this ship.
I didn't sign up right, So to sit there, like, man,
the biggest moment of your life, and I'm sitting there
trying to convince you, like, bro, you're worthy, this is okay.
It was crushing me to see you so crushed. And
that's where it's just it's not fair, Like it wasn't
fair to you that your depression of your anxiety hit
you at that moment. It just wasn't fair to you. No,
(09:43):
it wasn't. And we don't ever choose, you know, when
we're in that space, whether it be dark or blue
or bright or whatever it is you want to call it,
you know, but I do think it in some ways.
The best thing I found to deal with it is
to honestly appreciate the moment it's when I'm not even more,
and to make sure that I look around for people
(10:04):
who may be in those moments, you know. And when
I take my boys to school in the mornings, I
talked to him all the time about looking for the
kid in school who looks a little sad or like
a little down that day, and making sure that they
say hello to that kid, or you know, give him
a little pound or a little handshake, and just you
never know. And so I think, to me, that's one
of those things that I make sure that my family
(10:26):
and people around me hear me say, because I know
I was that kid. I I can remember when people
talk about being a kid. I can remember when I
was eleven, twelve, thirteen years old sitting outside my school
waiting for my ride from school in the dark, because
my dad would pick me up after work and I
would stay after the school for like two hours and
wait for him, and like sitting out by the flagpole
(10:47):
and just crying and just hating life and like for
no reason, Like I was a twelve year old kid
and I didn't know why I felt that way. I
just did. And you know, so to me, it's like
making sure I let people know that there's people out
there in that space and and they need you, you know,
they need a little love, a little contention, a little hello. Uh,
It'll mean the world to them. You know what. People
(11:10):
when I have told people about our conversation with Sean
and they say, Andrew, wait Worth, I go, yeah, what
do you think made a multi patent Man of the Year,
Like that's the darkness makes us be of service, makes
us because we're almost I don't know about you, but
for me, I'm always trying to convince him myself that
I'm not the worst piece of ship who ever lived.
(11:30):
And that's why I try and do these big things. Yeah,
I think so, because the darkness makes you think that,
you know, you're listening to all those voices in your
head instead of talking to them. And and so I think,
to me, my version of talking back to all those
voices is what I myself. Can I give up to
make a difference for somebody around me, whether it be
my money and my time, just my energy and passion
for life, Like can I find it and give it
(11:52):
to somebody else? And it almost feels like if I
give a piece of me to somebody else, Um, not
only are they getting this thing that's inspiring them or
better for them, but they're taking some of that off
of my brain and my body, Like that burden's going
away by just giving a piece of them, uh you know,
of me to them. And so I think to me,
like when I thought about winning Walter Payton Man in
the year, it was really tough for me because I
(12:13):
wasn't one of these athletes that had this massive pause
that you were trying to raise money for or this
one thing that you did one time. It was really
about a life sentence of like, this is just how
I live life. I always felt like if I got
a new contract that I based it off of, this
meant I can do this for the community I live in.
And if I get this cool opportunity that I'm taking
(12:33):
somebody with me or I'm making a difference for a
community that I live in. It was always like anything
that ever happened to me in a good way, I
can only feel good about it if I did something
good for somebody else around me. And that's really what
my community service was about, is just living with the
people that I lived with, you know, and like, actually,
all of us get better together, and Drew as one
(12:54):
of the best best gangsters of a wife you'll ever have,
and Melissa, whose mama very for for all of us.
But you know, in that same conversation, she said to like, yes,
sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of night Andrew
be crying and I'd go just rub us back and
get him to be good. When in your relationship, did
you really tell your wife, Okay, this is what you're
(13:16):
signing up for, this is what I have. I don't
know if I told her. She just realized, Man, I'm
married some dude that's absolutely whack. But you know, so
it probably happened to all those weeks of facing James
Harrison and Torrel sugs and everything else's young player and
I would just have to go to these dark places
to get in the mindset of like, all right, I'm
(13:36):
playing a great player, a guy who's just physically nasty
and just this is the kind of game that's gonna be.
And she would see like how much I would shut
down those weeks and like literally like it was almost
like her and the kids like nobody existed in those
weeks because I would go to such a dark place
and like this is my signment and my role, and
like the pressure would get so big that it's almost
like I had to shut everything out of my life
(13:58):
to be able to do my job. And she just
started to learn, like, hey, all right, we'll attacking him
during those weeks or bringing about like when I know
he's in those spaces, what's the best thing I can
do to helping me to get out of it or
just kind of help him get through those days, and
I'll be here once things kind of brighten up for
him to bring him back out of that mode. And
(14:19):
she tells a great story. One time I heard Christa
are former nanny decided they were mad at me because
of the week before and we were playing James Harris
and the Steelers, and they decided that there med at you. Yeah,
they're like, listen, here's our decision. They're they're mad at
me about something. I don't even know what it was.
I probably didn't pay attention to something. And they're like,
we're not talking to him this week, like we're just
ignore him every time he talks. So we go through
(14:41):
the entire week. It's a Sunday night, We've beat the Steelers.
I'm finally relaxing, having a drink, and both of them
are like, you know what, we have to get this
off our chests. I'm like, what's that. They're like, we
haven't spoke to you in a week and you haven't
even freaking noticed. And I'm like, oh, I didn't even
know you are mad at you know, like bad tactic
to take with somebody who goes in the darkness. Okay,
(15:01):
I don't want to talk to you anyways, but that's
the truth. Like they just had to get used to, Hey,
this is who he is, and so she just found
ways to either one helped me get out of the
dark or are kind of support me. Once I came
through and I was like, all right, if I was
a rough week for you, I'm gonna be here for
you this week to kind of rub your back and
just make you feel better. What would you tell Andrew
(15:21):
Witworth now that you know everything you know about more
about your mental health, what it takes to play in
this league and the pressures of of your life, and
also now that you're more cognizant of your gray, your depression, anxiety,
things like that, what would you tell rookie Andrew Worth
right now? I think what I do a better job
of now is is talk like tell somebody like reach
(15:42):
out to your buddies that get it, or tell people
that love you, and you know, love you can unconditionally
that you trust where you're at. I think for so
long in my life that was weakness, you know. And
and I've always been somebody who that's my biggest struggles.
I never want to show weakness, you know, like and
anything I do. And I was trained that way. I
(16:02):
was brought up that way through all the training I've
done in my life, and and so, but when it
comes to mental health, I think you say, this is
the best I've ever heard. It is like if I
tore my achilles, like I'm I'm gonna go get treatment
for it, you know, if I tear up a bicep
or pull a muscle or whatever, if I have cramps,
like I'm gonna get an ivy, you know. And for
(16:22):
whatever reason, we are prey approach brain and mental health
totally different. And some reason it's weak to say that
you're mentally not feeling good, and it just doesn't make
any sense, you know. And so for me, it's like
finally learning like when I'm in those spaces, reach out
to the people I love and I care about and
tell them like, hey, hey, you know what you know
(16:43):
all those times I've been there for you, you you know,
all those times that we have this relationship, like we're
not just buddies and we're not just friends for the
good times, Like I'm here for you all the time.
So like right now, in this moment, I kind of
need one of my friends to be here for me
in this moment, you know. And it's not a great time,
but I just need you. Yeah, you know. You and
I do that great with each other, and we're real
with each other. There's been times I've been going off
(17:04):
the rails and Andrew will be like, a man, what's wrong? Like,
what what's really going on here? Um? And there was
a time you and I are in Vegas. I was like, hey, man,
this this isn't you. You're not being you. I'll let
you get it off your chest, okay, but what's going on?
Why are you not being you? Right? And that's the
first time I've ever seen you ramble like that. But
you know, I want people to understand that we are
(17:26):
we probably are looking at it like we're at our worst.
But again, as our brothers here, as our friends, we
didn't run away from each other. Instead, we leaned into
each other even more. Yeah, I think that's it. I
mean I get times where I know you do this too,
but I want to holpe smash everybody and everything in
the room. And I got no idea why, Like I
really have no reason to be that way, but I
(17:48):
just I get there and I have to like get
it out and get it over with to honestly be
in a good space. Like Melissa and I have this
dynamic and even in our marriage, like when it comes
to business stuff, not business stuff, but just stuff around
the house or people who may be working on the
house or things that come up that may be a
little confrontational, Like I always tell her like, hey, you know,
I know this is it used to we used to
(18:11):
fight about this all the time. I used to be like, hey,
I can't go have that conversation and she'd be like,
why you're the man, you know, like you go do it,
And I'm like, listen, I just I need you to
do it. Fuck things up, we'll look people up. You
can't do that, Yeah, I will power bomb the window
on the concrete in the front patio. All right, so
I can't do that. Yep, we're a card We will
(18:32):
leave too much cards. And that's actually one of my
problems is I don't know how to problem solve without
smashing somebody like I have a have zero or a hundred.
And you see it sometimes. I mean, you go, you
and I a boxing match and there's somebody driving me
nuts next to me. You're like, Okay, I'm gonna stand
right over here now because you just know me, right.
I was. I was kind of in one of those
(18:53):
rent zone nights one night, and I don't want to
be like that. I don't ask for it, but sometimes
yet it's hard to turn it off. And you know,
and the thing is that for me, Yeah, my graat
makes me angry a lot of times, Like I'm then
sign up for the ship. I don't want it right,
so again angry and we lash out the wrong way. Yeah,
there's no doubt. And I think that's the thing is
you start to learn to, especially when we're not in
(19:14):
our gray moments, like be more lenient and just let
people make it sometimes because we don't know what each
other are dealing with. And I think that's one of
the coolest things you've done through your book and your
outreach and everything that you've you know, tried to do
around this space. It's just really what we're saying is
give people some grace and understand that sometimes people are
dealing with some stuff and you've got to deal with
your own stuff and also be able to say, hey,
(19:37):
you know what, like let people make it every now
and then and maybe maybe ask what's going on with
them before you decide to judge them or you know,
make a decision about who they are just because they're
having a bad moment. How have you been since Have
you been able to again that night was? If you
are you able to appreciate it now you're able to
feel the joy yet I think I'm definitely able to
(19:58):
appreciate the people and the moments. Um, I don't know
if I've really like fully gone through everything that is
the super Bowl and what it was, and I think
that'll take time. But yeah, right now, the best motherfucker
that's what it means. There's no doubt about that. Uh No,
I'm kidding, but yeah, it's one of those things I
think for me, it's been you know, retirement going with it,
(20:19):
it's been kind I've been dealing with more of the
feeling I have of being retired mentally, like that's that's
been kind of the thing. It's been in my focus
right now, and I'm really enjoying it. I love it.
I mean, I couldn't be happier right now in the
space I'm in. And it's definitely made some of those
moments less often right now because and it's more just
because a lot of that stuff sometimes was triggered around
how much of a leadership role and captain role that
(20:41):
I always tried to play with the organization when I
was there, not just with the players but the whole building.
So there were things that would trigger Gray and me
just because I would get down about maybe how we
handled something or how the culture was or something one
of the players was going through that just like was
Man made me hurt and so it made me go
to dark places. So not having as much of that
interaction right now, it's it's it does help me some
(21:04):
not have as much Gray. But you know, obviously as
I get more into this space, there'll be more things
I'm involved with, and I don't know what's gonna happen.
But I've learned now with this freedom I've had, that
it's a lot easier. Just pick your phone up or
text somebody or call somebody and tell them what's going
on and where you're at is a much better answer
than all the others. No, but you're also deflecting the
(21:25):
original question was have you been able to enjoy the
shoot bull? Yeah? You think, like, man, we gotta get
you where you can enjoy it, where you've gotta literally
look at this, you know what. Okay, I deserve it.
I'm okay to look at myself and have some blue here.
I think it's all responsibility drew to being the blue
to help everybody else who was in the gray, to
(21:45):
show them it's okay to be in the blue. And
that means feeling worthy and deserving when you do accomplish things. Yeah, no,
you're here's no doubt. And I I say all the time,
that's one of the hardest things I have a time with.
I mean, to me, it's really tough to celebrate victories.
I don't really know why, but I just it's it's
one of the hardest things I struggle with. I mean,
(22:08):
I I could go take on anybody can say, hey, man,
just let's go do this and sane workout is just
gonna destroy you and you're gonna want to kill yourself.
It's gonna be so hard, and I'm gonna be like,
sign me up every day. But if you said, hey,
let's go to this event and they're gonna talk good
about you for a twenty minute, not not me talking,
You're gonna have to sit there and they're gonna talk
good about you for thirty minutes. I mean that to
(22:30):
me sounds like the worst thing on the planet. I
don't want to hear one thing of it. And I've
always struggled with that. Yeah, and again, that's why I
think you do all those great things. You do it
for everybody else. That's and that's where we have to
look at it. That's we're sitting in the blue is okay,
we have our funk up this, but we're gonna use
it to help others, to be a blessing to others,
(22:53):
you know. And until I wrote the book, I just
I felt like I was cursed with depression anxiety. And now,
for the first time in life, I feel like God
bless me with depression anxiety, game this pain and purpose,
so I can help you and others through theirs. Yeah,
there's no doubt. And that's kind of what I was saying,
you know, is that I finally started to realize that
it's really a blessing because it's an opportunity to know,
(23:16):
you know, real empathy and real people that are able
to touch and lead can understand where somebody else sits,
and they can understand how they feel. And I finally
started to realize that because I understand it, and because
I feel it, like it's a disservice that I don't
make sure other people feel that way or other people
feel special and that they feel if they're in that moment,
(23:37):
I'm not there for them and I'm not in the
blue trying to get them out of that moment. And
so I've realized that it's really a blessing to know
that feeling and to be able to control it as
best we can, Like we have to get to where
we're at even though we have that, and help other
people get to that point where they're comfortable to help
the people around them, they're comfortable to reach out to
people when they're down, Because the more people that can
(23:58):
do that, the more we start to attack this and
make it okay to admit it when you're feeling that way. Well,
my goal is your friend, is to get you to
really feel that Super Bowl. That's my goal. I'm gonna
make it happen, and no I can't do man, I'm
gonna make it happen that I know you can do that.
Before I let you go and ask all my guests,
give me your unbreakable moment, that moment that should have
(24:22):
or could have broken you and didn't, and you came
through the other show at time. I think anytime in sports,
you have lots of moments that maybe you could break
you from a sports standpoint, But I think for me,
my unbreakable moment would be when I when I went
to the NFL with the Cincinnati Bengals. A lot of
people don't realize the beginning of this story, and everyone
(24:42):
heard the Walter Payton Man of the Year speech about
Derek Barnes and our interaction on the field and me
going to a boys and girls club and meeting him
was I was a rookie in the NFL, and sixteen
years later he's on an NFL field with me and
tells me, like, man, you influenced my life, and you
made a difference, and I couldn't wait to get to
the NFL to tell you thank you. Um. But what
(25:03):
they don't realize is that when I got drafted in
the NFL, I was fresh out of a divorce in college.
I married a girl in college for six months and
got divorced. Uh drafted in the league, and two weeks later,
my best friend in life, Lee Deal, was killed in
action in Iraq, and I went through a divorce of
a relationship and the divorce of you know, my friend dying,
(25:26):
who's one of my closest people in life. We grew
up together, we were college roommates. He then went and
went and joined the Navy and was on a special
recon team was killed in action. And so what people
don't realize about that Derek Barnes story is that as
much as I was there for Derek Barnes those Tuesday
visits to sit with him and his buddies and talk
about life and to sit on a just a step
(25:48):
on the side of the concrete and throw the football together,
I spent time with those kids because I was so
empty inside and so like, I don't know what's worth
living for that, Derek Barnes was as much there for
me as I ever was for Derek Barnes. And so
when he walked up to me last November after that
(26:09):
game and told me, dude, I couldn't wait for the
moment to tell you I made it to the NFL,
I blacked out when that happened. I literally asked our
PR person afterwards, like what did I say back to him?
Do you remember? Because just give me his number. I
need to talk to him because I have no idea
what happened, because to me, it was like, man, like
I went back to that spot, that unbreakable moment where
(26:31):
I didn't know who I was or what I ever
wanted out of life or anything that had no passions, nothing,
And it just took me back to that concrete step
sitting with those kids and realizing like wow, like you're here,
but wow, I'm here too, and I have no idea
how we got here, you know, And it's just it's
so that will always be what I'll remember, Like I
(26:54):
remember the Super Bowl, I remember watspet Man in the
year all that's really cool, that moment um Man, and
it took me back to a place where not only
was I dark. I had no idea what tomorrow was.
It was just an empty place. But it's really cool
that now it's a place that's filled up with so
many cool memories and joy and awesome moments. Way to
(27:16):
take us home, strong, big boy. There you go, Sasquats.
That's what I'm taking. You can close it, you know. Wow,
that is a closer, pulling the closer, absolutely doing a
Mariner of Vera for us. Man. Hey, Drew, brother, you
know I love you. I don't think I can ever
show enough gratitude for you for those days when I
(27:37):
needed just a big buddy and pull me up out
of that hole. So I appreciate you doing that for me. Always,
you too, brother, I love you too. Man, Thank you
so much for walking us walk together. Yes, sir, always
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental
health podcast with Jay Glazer. I am Jay Glazer, and look,
I have been very open about needing certain teammates in
(00:25):
my life, people that I lean into as I've struggled.
I used to sit there and suffer in silence. But
I've needed a fight team. I've needed people I can
lean into and walk this walk together with. And my
guest right now, I probably leaned into this man more
than just about everybody else in my life. Um, when
I struggle, he's one of the people that I immediately
(00:47):
called because he gets me. And you'll probably be surprised
that he gives me so much because he is man Mr. Everything.
He's Walter Payton Man of the Year Award winner, he's
a Super Bowl champion, and he is probably the most
handsome guy who's ever played in the National Football League.
Let's just say that he looks exactly like me, except
you know, eight ft taller and eight hundred pounds. Have
(01:09):
your that is uh, my boy, Andrew Witworth, how are
your brother? I'm good brother. Thank you so much for
let me come on here with you today. No, absolutely
letting you come on. You kid me and people don't
realize that. Look, when I wrote my book Unbreakable, and
I tried to explain what mental health issues were, what
the gray was, Andrew and I were sitting in Cabo
with Sean McVeigh in the famous weekend when we did
(01:33):
happen to run into Matthew Stafford in Cabo. Just happened,
you know, just happened. To write a lot of people
you run into in a hot tub, you know, it
started in the hot dub, went back to worth room,
next thing, you know. Matt Stafford, he's a ramp go figure.
You know. I love at first sight. No, it's uh,
(01:54):
that was a special week I'll never forget us visiting
and talking about you writing your book and obviously wow,
to think we're both of us have gone from there,
it's pretty crazy. So but here we are and we're
trying to explain to Sean what the gray is. And
and McVey, you know, he's our first guest we ever had.
I always say like he didn't get it because his
life was like a night light, right like man, he
(02:14):
didn't understand, and then you said something and he turned
to you and said, wait, what you too? You suffer
from the gray. Do you remember what you said to him?
I don't remember the exact words, but I remember that
reaction because it's one of those things that as a
you know, him being my coach and me being the player,
even though we were you know, really close friends and all,
(02:35):
this is really something we had never dived into together.
Like he would like say things like, hey, man, sometimes
when I can tell you're in that mood, like it's
like nothing can possibly stop you. And then there's moments
where I'm like, man, I don't know what's going on.
And he always thought that was like disinterest to play
football or something, and what he had no idea it was.
It was really like I'm battling demons over here that
(02:57):
are telling me like I don't belong and I'm not
even suppose to be where I am in life in general,
like forget football, like just you're not even supposed to
be here in this moment. And I think it blew
him away to hear that that's really what was going
on in that moment. Yeah, well, you also said, he
said you you said yes, Sean, you think I'm fucking normal.
(03:18):
What do you think gives me a forty years all
to put a helmet on his beast, Aaron Donald the
head all these years you kid me. Of course I'm
sucked up. Is exactly what I said. You have to
be to blay football at forty You've got issues. I
don't care who you are, you you and I want you.
Were telling Sean about these demons, and I think it's
real important are our listeners because they look at you again,
(03:39):
Maud Walter Payton Man in the Year, and they look like, man,
this guy has it so together. Um, in certain ways
you do, but certain ways you don't. You have these demons.
Explain your demons? Yeah, I think to me, it's just um.
You know, things like Walter Payton Man in the Year
are some of the hardest things for me to accept
because I've always looked at it like, man, I just
care about people, and and so if I'm getting this award,
(04:02):
I'm being honored for something, It's just really about the
love I have for everybody I live life with, regardless
of where they come from, what they look like. I
don't give a crap, Like I just want us all
to have great moments together and enjoy life and reach
the next step. But whatever it is we dream to.
But for me personally, it's about you know, I understand
sometimes I can have empathy for people in tough situations
because it's even if you look at me and say, hey,
(04:24):
you got this NFL player who's played in a ton
of games, been to Pro Bowls, done all these things.
I mean, I still have mornings where I wake up
and just like I don't deserve any of this, like
and none of this should I be allowed to have,
Like everything should be taken for me. And sometimes I
wake up in fear like it's gonna be um just
because and that kind of like puts me in this
(04:44):
little web or concoction, if you will, that I almost
feel like I'm in a straight jacket and I'm not,
you know, And it's like I feel like I can't
move today because I just don't think I'm worthy of
anything that's happened to me in my life and my children,
my wife, all of it. And I can't ever predict
when it comes. It's just it's just a random thing
can trigger it, you know, whether it's so. When I
(05:06):
was a young kid, and I know you've shared some
of this, and obviously reading your book, I know about it,
but it was always associated with change. So like if
I went on a trip with my dad or my mom,
I went somewhere on our way back for whatever reason,
when I'd be sitting in the car and we drive
back from somewhere, like I would just have these breakdowns
in the back of the car, Like I don't even
think my parents ever knew it. I would just sit
back there and cry, and I had no idea what
(05:29):
was going on. Like I just was like so scared
to go back to school the next day and to
like get back to normal life and and and be lonely,
if that was the word. And I would have moments
even in high school where I'd sit on the couch
and my parents be watching TV and they wouldn't even
know him in the rooms. I wouldn't speak, but I'd
be crying over there. They wouldn't even know it, like
you know, because I just keep my back to him
where It's just like I just wanted to sit in
(05:50):
the same room as um because for whatever reason, I
was having this feeling like I'm all alone and like
everything's gone. But I'm the only person here. It's just
those feelings like everything is about to be torn away
from you constantly. And I think it's important to two
dudes like us talk this openly, you know, and you
and I do talk about it provably. I think it's
(06:10):
real cool that we're able to talk about it this way.
I still have those days while I just cry for
no reason. I did it the other day and I
called you, right, I tweeted about it. Um, do you
still just wake up crying? Still have those days? Yeah?
I still have moments where, you know, I don't even
know what triggered it. You know, it's like, yeah, you
hear people like you know, it's like people say, oh,
(06:31):
I turned the channel because I'm depressing. Like you know,
animal commercial came on with Sarah McLaughlin singing. It made
me sad. I'm like, that's how I feel on a
random Tuesday day AM when I wake up. Sometimes you know,
it's like I can hear the song going to my
song in my head. You know. It's just one of
those things that, Yeah, I still have moments even now,
(06:52):
like having accomplished all I have and done in my
career and then having this exciting new chapter of life
and being involved in media. There's still time is where
I just wake up and I'm like, I don't know what,
I'm so sad about it. I don't know why I
think the world's ending tomorrow, but this is how I feel.
And I think sometimes people see the juice and the
energy and the positivity you live life with and they think, well,
(07:13):
how would this person ever experience that? And I think
for me, it's like a conscious thing that I'm always like, no,
I'm I'm you know what. I'm bringing juice to them.
I bring energy and be happiness because I know what
it feels like down in those depths, and I'm gonna
do everything I can when I walk in a room
and when I meet people to to just encase they're
(07:34):
having that day. I don't I don't want to let
them go there. I don't want to let them be there.
So I'm gonna just be relentlessly positive with them or
re lentlessly just hey, let's have some fun. Let's make
this the best, because I just if there is anybody
sitting there with that feeling, I want them to just
change it. Right now, what Andrew is talking about right now,
it's as authentic as you get. And I was there
(07:54):
with them on and this one man, it'll it'll stick
with me forever. I was with Andrew after they on
the Super Bowl. We're in the car together and you'd
think you'd be jumping for joy. Instead I'm texting him saying,
what's wrong, bro, you what's going on? Right? And you
weren't jumping for joy instead you were like exactly your
response is exactly what you're telling us here. Yeah, it was.
(08:17):
I was sitting there like I don't deserve any of this.
Something terrible is gonna happen in the next couple of minutes.
It's gonna like take it away. Yeah. Remember you kept
like reaching out being like are you good? Are you good?
I'm like, you know what, I'm just trying to process it.
And it was really a version of me just trying
to all right, You've had this big moment and then
(08:40):
right now, like those demons are talking to you, you know,
and it's like, instead of thinking about winning a Super
Bowl and you know, just the crazy, unbelievable story that
was my last year of my career, all I was
thinking about is it's over. Football is over for you.
You have no purpose it's all done. Like everything you
fall for, your whole life's over with. That was your
(09:01):
only purpose in life. And I knew I was retiring,
and it was like all I could think about was
every negative scenario that could come up with in my
head for why it wasn't a great moment instead of
just being in the moment and being clocked into right
where my feet were in that exact moment. And it's
and it's not like, listen, Drew didn't sign up for
(09:22):
his mental health issues. I didn't sign up for this ship.
I didn't sign up right, So to sit there, like, man,
the biggest moment of your life, and I'm sitting there
trying to convince you, like, bro, you're worthy, this is okay.
It was crushing me to see you so crushed. And
that's where it's just it's not fair, Like it wasn't
fair to you that your depression of your anxiety hit
you at that moment. It just wasn't fair to you. No,
(09:43):
it wasn't. And we don't ever choose, you know, when
we're in that space, whether it be dark or blue
or bright or whatever it is you want to call it,
you know, but I do think it in some ways.
The best thing I found to deal with it is
to honestly appreciate the moment it's when I'm not even more,
and to make sure that I look around for people
(10:04):
who may be in those moments, you know. And when
I take my boys to school in the mornings, I
talked to him all the time about looking for the
kid in school who looks a little sad or like
a little down that day, and making sure that they
say hello to that kid, or you know, give him
a little pound or a little handshake, and just you
never know. And so I think, to me, that's one
of those things that I make sure that my family
(10:26):
and people around me hear me say, because I know
I was that kid. I I can remember when people
talk about being a kid. I can remember when I
was eleven, twelve, thirteen years old sitting outside my school
waiting for my ride from school in the dark, because
my dad would pick me up after work and I
would stay after the school for like two hours and
wait for him, and like sitting out by the flagpole
(10:47):
and just crying and just hating life and like for
no reason, Like I was a twelve year old kid
and I didn't know why I felt that way. I
just did. And you know, so to me, it's like
making sure I let people know that there's people out
there in that space and and they need you, you know,
they need a little love, a little contention, a little hello. Uh,
It'll mean the world to them. You know what. People
(11:10):
when I have told people about our conversation with Sean
and they say, Andrew, wait Worth, I go, yeah, what
do you think made a multi patent Man of the Year,
Like that's the darkness makes us be of service, makes
us because we're almost I don't know about you, but
for me, I'm always trying to convince him myself that
I'm not the worst piece of ship who ever lived.
(11:30):
And that's why I try and do these big things. Yeah,
I think so, because the darkness makes you think that,
you know, you're listening to all those voices in your
head instead of talking to them. And and so I think,
to me, my version of talking back to all those
voices is what I myself. Can I give up to
make a difference for somebody around me, whether it be
my money and my time, just my energy and passion
for life, Like can I find it and give it
(11:52):
to somebody else? And it almost feels like if I
give a piece of me to somebody else, Um, not
only are they getting this thing that's inspiring them or
better for them, but they're taking some of that off
of my brain and my body, Like that burden's going
away by just giving a piece of them, uh you know,
of me to them. And so I think to me,
like when I thought about winning Walter Payton Man in
the year, it was really tough for me because I
(12:13):
wasn't one of these athletes that had this massive pause
that you were trying to raise money for or this
one thing that you did one time. It was really
about a life sentence of like, this is just how
I live life. I always felt like if I got
a new contract that I based it off of, this
meant I can do this for the community I live in.
And if I get this cool opportunity that I'm taking
(12:33):
somebody with me or I'm making a difference for a
community that I live in. It was always like anything
that ever happened to me in a good way, I
can only feel good about it if I did something
good for somebody else around me. And that's really what
my community service was about, is just living with the
people that I lived with, you know, and like, actually,
all of us get better together, and Drew as one
(12:54):
of the best best gangsters of a wife you'll ever have,
and Melissa, whose mama very for for all of us.
But you know, in that same conversation, she said to like, yes,
sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of night Andrew
be crying and I'd go just rub us back and
get him to be good. When in your relationship, did
you really tell your wife, Okay, this is what you're
(13:16):
signing up for, this is what I have. I don't
know if I told her. She just realized, Man, I'm
married some dude that's absolutely whack. But you know, so
it probably happened to all those weeks of facing James
Harrison and Torrel sugs and everything else's young player and
I would just have to go to these dark places
to get in the mindset of like, all right, I'm
(13:36):
playing a great player, a guy who's just physically nasty
and just this is the kind of game that's gonna be.
And she would see like how much I would shut
down those weeks and like literally like it was almost
like her and the kids like nobody existed in those
weeks because I would go to such a dark place
and like this is my signment and my role, and
like the pressure would get so big that it's almost
like I had to shut everything out of my life
(13:58):
to be able to do my job. And she just
started to learn, like, hey, all right, we'll attacking him
during those weeks or bringing about like when I know
he's in those spaces, what's the best thing I can
do to helping me to get out of it or
just kind of help him get through those days, and
I'll be here once things kind of brighten up for
him to bring him back out of that mode. And
(14:19):
she tells a great story. One time I heard Christa
are former nanny decided they were mad at me because
of the week before and we were playing James Harris
and the Steelers, and they decided that there med at you. Yeah,
they're like, listen, here's our decision. They're they're mad at
me about something. I don't even know what it was.
I probably didn't pay attention to something. And they're like,
we're not talking to him this week, like we're just
ignore him every time he talks. So we go through
(14:41):
the entire week. It's a Sunday night, We've beat the Steelers.
I'm finally relaxing, having a drink, and both of them
are like, you know what, we have to get this
off our chests. I'm like, what's that. They're like, we
haven't spoke to you in a week and you haven't
even freaking noticed. And I'm like, oh, I didn't even
know you are mad at you know, like bad tactic
to take with somebody who goes in the darkness. Okay,
(15:01):
I don't want to talk to you anyways, but that's
the truth. Like they just had to get used to, Hey,
this is who he is, and so she just found
ways to either one helped me get out of the
dark or are kind of support me. Once I came
through and I was like, all right, if I was
a rough week for you, I'm gonna be here for
you this week to kind of rub your back and
just make you feel better. What would you tell Andrew
(15:21):
Witworth now that you know everything you know about more
about your mental health, what it takes to play in
this league and the pressures of of your life, and
also now that you're more cognizant of your gray, your depression, anxiety,
things like that, what would you tell rookie Andrew Worth
right now? I think what I do a better job
of now is is talk like tell somebody like reach
(15:42):
out to your buddies that get it, or tell people
that love you, and you know, love you can unconditionally
that you trust where you're at. I think for so
long in my life that was weakness, you know. And
and I've always been somebody who that's my biggest struggles.
I never want to show weakness, you know, like and
anything I do. And I was trained that way. I
(16:02):
was brought up that way through all the training I've
done in my life, and and so, but when it
comes to mental health, I think you say, this is
the best I've ever heard. It is like if I
tore my achilles, like I'm I'm gonna go get treatment
for it, you know, if I tear up a bicep
or pull a muscle or whatever, if I have cramps,
like I'm gonna get an ivy, you know. And for
(16:22):
whatever reason, we are prey approach brain and mental health
totally different. And some reason it's weak to say that
you're mentally not feeling good, and it just doesn't make
any sense, you know. And so for me, it's like
finally learning like when I'm in those spaces, reach out
to the people I love and I care about and
tell them like, hey, hey, you know what you know
(16:43):
all those times I've been there for you, you you know,
all those times that we have this relationship, like we're
not just buddies and we're not just friends for the
good times, Like I'm here for you all the time.
So like right now, in this moment, I kind of
need one of my friends to be here for me
in this moment, you know. And it's not a great time,
but I just need you. Yeah, you know. You and
I do that great with each other, and we're real
with each other. There's been times I've been going off
(17:04):
the rails and Andrew will be like, a man, what's wrong? Like,
what what's really going on here? Um? And there was
a time you and I are in Vegas. I was like, hey, man,
this this isn't you. You're not being you. I'll let
you get it off your chest, okay, but what's going on?
Why are you not being you? Right? And that's the
first time I've ever seen you ramble like that. But
you know, I want people to understand that we are
(17:26):
we probably are looking at it like we're at our worst.
But again, as our brothers here, as our friends, we
didn't run away from each other. Instead, we leaned into
each other even more. Yeah, I think that's it. I
mean I get times where I know you do this too,
but I want to holpe smash everybody and everything in
the room. And I got no idea why, Like I
really have no reason to be that way, but I
(17:48):
just I get there and I have to like get
it out and get it over with to honestly be
in a good space. Like Melissa and I have this
dynamic and even in our marriage, like when it comes
to business stuff, not business stuff, but just stuff around
the house or people who may be working on the
house or things that come up that may be a
little confrontational, Like I always tell her like, hey, you know,
I know this is it used to we used to
(18:11):
fight about this all the time. I used to be like, hey,
I can't go have that conversation and she'd be like,
why you're the man, you know, like you go do it,
And I'm like, listen, I just I need you to
do it. Fuck things up, we'll look people up. You
can't do that, Yeah, I will power bomb the window
on the concrete in the front patio. All right, so
I can't do that. Yep, we're a card We will
(18:32):
leave too much cards. And that's actually one of my
problems is I don't know how to problem solve without
smashing somebody like I have a have zero or a hundred.
And you see it sometimes. I mean, you go, you
and I a boxing match and there's somebody driving me
nuts next to me. You're like, Okay, I'm gonna stand
right over here now because you just know me, right.
I was. I was kind of in one of those
(18:53):
rent zone nights one night, and I don't want to
be like that. I don't ask for it, but sometimes
yet it's hard to turn it off. And you know,
and the thing is that for me, Yeah, my graat
makes me angry a lot of times, Like I'm then
sign up for the ship. I don't want it right,
so again angry and we lash out the wrong way. Yeah,
there's no doubt. And I think that's the thing is
you start to learn to, especially when we're not in
(19:14):
our gray moments, like be more lenient and just let
people make it sometimes because we don't know what each
other are dealing with. And I think that's one of
the coolest things you've done through your book and your
outreach and everything that you've you know, tried to do
around this space. It's just really what we're saying is
give people some grace and understand that sometimes people are
dealing with some stuff and you've got to deal with
your own stuff and also be able to say, hey,
(19:37):
you know what, like let people make it every now
and then and maybe maybe ask what's going on with
them before you decide to judge them or you know,
make a decision about who they are just because they're
having a bad moment. How have you been since Have
you been able to again that night was? If you
are you able to appreciate it now you're able to
feel the joy yet I think I'm definitely able to
(19:58):
appreciate the people and the moments. Um, I don't know
if I've really like fully gone through everything that is
the super Bowl and what it was, and I think
that'll take time. But yeah, right now, the best motherfucker
that's what it means. There's no doubt about that. Uh No,
I'm kidding, but yeah, it's one of those things I
think for me, it's been you know, retirement going with it,
(20:19):
it's been kind I've been dealing with more of the
feeling I have of being retired mentally, like that's that's
been kind of the thing. It's been in my focus
right now, and I'm really enjoying it. I love it.
I mean, I couldn't be happier right now in the
space I'm in. And it's definitely made some of those
moments less often right now because and it's more just
because a lot of that stuff sometimes was triggered around
how much of a leadership role and captain role that
(20:41):
I always tried to play with the organization when I
was there, not just with the players but the whole building.
So there were things that would trigger Gray and me
just because I would get down about maybe how we
handled something or how the culture was or something one
of the players was going through that just like was
Man made me hurt and so it made me go
to dark places. So not having as much of that
interaction right now, it's it's it does help me some
(21:04):
not have as much Gray. But you know, obviously as
I get more into this space, there'll be more things
I'm involved with, and I don't know what's gonna happen.
But I've learned now with this freedom I've had, that
it's a lot easier. Just pick your phone up or
text somebody or call somebody and tell them what's going
on and where you're at is a much better answer
than all the others. No, but you're also deflecting the
(21:25):
original question was have you been able to enjoy the
shoot bull? Yeah? You think, like, man, we gotta get
you where you can enjoy it, where you've gotta literally
look at this, you know what. Okay, I deserve it.
I'm okay to look at myself and have some blue here.
I think it's all responsibility drew to being the blue
to help everybody else who was in the gray, to
(21:45):
show them it's okay to be in the blue. And
that means feeling worthy and deserving when you do accomplish things. Yeah, no,
you're here's no doubt. And I I say all the time,
that's one of the hardest things I have a time with.
I mean, to me, it's really tough to celebrate victories.
I don't really know why, but I just it's it's
one of the hardest things I struggle with. I mean,
(22:08):
I I could go take on anybody can say, hey, man,
just let's go do this and sane workout is just
gonna destroy you and you're gonna want to kill yourself.
It's gonna be so hard, and I'm gonna be like,
sign me up every day. But if you said, hey,
let's go to this event and they're gonna talk good
about you for a twenty minute, not not me talking,
You're gonna have to sit there and they're gonna talk
good about you for thirty minutes. I mean that to
(22:30):
me sounds like the worst thing on the planet. I
don't want to hear one thing of it. And I've
always struggled with that. Yeah, and again, that's why I
think you do all those great things. You do it
for everybody else. That's and that's where we have to
look at it. That's we're sitting in the blue is okay,
we have our funk up this, but we're gonna use
it to help others, to be a blessing to others,
(22:53):
you know. And until I wrote the book, I just
I felt like I was cursed with depression anxiety. And now,
for the first time in life, I feel like God
bless me with depression anxiety, game this pain and purpose,
so I can help you and others through theirs. Yeah,
there's no doubt. And that's kind of what I was saying,
you know, is that I finally started to realize that
it's really a blessing because it's an opportunity to know,
(23:16):
you know, real empathy and real people that are able
to touch and lead can understand where somebody else sits,
and they can understand how they feel. And I finally
started to realize that because I understand it, and because
I feel it, like it's a disservice that I don't
make sure other people feel that way or other people
feel special and that they feel if they're in that moment,
(23:37):
I'm not there for them and I'm not in the
blue trying to get them out of that moment. And
so I've realized that it's really a blessing to know
that feeling and to be able to control it as
best we can, Like we have to get to where
we're at even though we have that, and help other
people get to that point where they're comfortable to help
the people around them, they're comfortable to reach out to
people when they're down, Because the more people that can
(23:58):
do that, the more we start to attack this and
make it okay to admit it when you're feeling that way. Well,
my goal is your friend, is to get you to
really feel that Super Bowl. That's my goal. I'm gonna
make it happen, and no I can't do man, I'm
gonna make it happen that I know you can do that.
Before I let you go and ask all my guests,
give me your unbreakable moment, that moment that should have
(24:22):
or could have broken you and didn't, and you came
through the other show at time. I think anytime in sports,
you have lots of moments that maybe you could break
you from a sports standpoint, But I think for me,
my unbreakable moment would be when I when I went
to the NFL with the Cincinnati Bengals. A lot of
people don't realize the beginning of this story, and everyone
(24:42):
heard the Walter Payton Man of the Year speech about
Derek Barnes and our interaction on the field and me
going to a boys and girls club and meeting him
was I was a rookie in the NFL, and sixteen
years later he's on an NFL field with me and
tells me, like, man, you influenced my life, and you
made a difference, and I couldn't wait to get to
the NFL to tell you thank you. Um. But what
(25:03):
they don't realize is that when I got drafted in
the NFL, I was fresh out of a divorce in college.
I married a girl in college for six months and
got divorced. Uh drafted in the league, and two weeks later,
my best friend in life, Lee Deal, was killed in
action in Iraq, and I went through a divorce of
a relationship and the divorce of you know, my friend dying,
(25:26):
who's one of my closest people in life. We grew
up together, we were college roommates. He then went and
went and joined the Navy and was on a special
recon team was killed in action. And so what people
don't realize about that Derek Barnes story is that as
much as I was there for Derek Barnes those Tuesday
visits to sit with him and his buddies and talk
about life and to sit on a just a step
(25:48):
on the side of the concrete and throw the football together,
I spent time with those kids because I was so
empty inside and so like, I don't know what's worth
living for that, Derek Barnes was as much there for
me as I ever was for Derek Barnes. And so
when he walked up to me last November after that
(26:09):
game and told me, dude, I couldn't wait for the
moment to tell you I made it to the NFL,
I blacked out when that happened. I literally asked our
PR person afterwards, like what did I say back to him?
Do you remember? Because just give me his number. I
need to talk to him because I have no idea
what happened, because to me, it was like, man, like
I went back to that spot, that unbreakable moment where
(26:31):
I didn't know who I was or what I ever
wanted out of life or anything that had no passions, nothing,
And it just took me back to that concrete step
sitting with those kids and realizing like wow, like you're here,
but wow, I'm here too, and I have no idea
how we got here, you know, And it's just it's
so that will always be what I'll remember, Like I
(26:54):
remember the Super Bowl, I remember watspet Man in the
year all that's really cool, that moment um Man, and
it took me back to a place where not only
was I dark. I had no idea what tomorrow was.
It was just an empty place. But it's really cool
that now it's a place that's filled up with so
many cool memories and joy and awesome moments. Way to
(27:16):
take us home, strong, big boy. There you go, Sasquats.
That's what I'm taking. You can close it, you know. Wow,
that is a closer, pulling the closer, absolutely doing a
Mariner of Vera for us. Man. Hey, Drew, brother, you
know I love you. I don't think I can ever
show enough gratitude for you for those days when I
(27:37):
needed just a big buddy and pull me up out
of that hole. So I appreciate you doing that for me. Always,
you too, brother, I love you too. Man, Thank you
so much for walking us walk together. Yes, sir, always
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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