December 17, 2022 • 37 mins
Ben Maller and his 5th Hour home-skillet Danny G. are having too much uncencored fun for your Saturday, talking Authenticated, Is That a Covid Test, Tales From the Naked City, Pop Goes the Culture, and Back Scratcher!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the a everywhere
as it's the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
G Radio back in the podcast Ojo. Because four hours
a night not enough for me. Four hours during the
(00:46):
day or three hours during the day not enough for
Danny G. And eight days a week, eight days a week.
We've got you covered here, Danny with audio content. I'm
not a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add
up well. Before and after that show, that's eight hours
for me, and then six hours on Saturday and then
post production on Sunday morning. But we never have enough work.
(01:09):
Though now these are first world problems. It certainly beats
having a real job, so we appreciate that Saturday. Well.
If you if you're new to the podcast, welcome, Where
have you been? Tell a friend and we would like
to recommend giving the gift of the podcast a wonderful
(01:29):
stocking stuffer this time of the year. Can you think
I can't think of anything that that children and uh
and grown ups everyone would would would rather have than
a link to this podcast. The only thing better would
be a free sample from Costco. Yeah, well that's that's
(01:50):
a given, alright. So here on this podcast we've got
authenticated is that a COVID test, tales from the Naked
Itty and pop goes the culture, and we might have
time for Backstratcher as well, So we got a lot
to get. All right, we're gonna go rapid fire, Danny,
do you understand it's gonna be This gonna be awesome.
(02:12):
Sauce is what it's gonna be, because we're gonna go
back and forth and it's gonna overwhelm you on the
Life of Mallard and the Life of Danny g Radio.
It's gonna flow like ranch at a pizza joint, and
that's disgusted. The right to the toilet is what it alright. So,
as you know, if you have followed me on the
(02:35):
social networks on Facebook or the Graham last week I
missed the radio show this is two weeks ago. Now,
I missed a Thursday show because I was on assignment
at the North Pole. Danny m a very special time.
It is the one day of the year that I
(02:56):
get out of my shell and I get to do
what is one of the coolest things you can possibly do.
A highly recommend this if you have connections playing a
mascot the man, enjoy me. Wonderful. Wonderful. Now for those
that are new, my wife where she works, the city
(03:17):
she works in, she's a dispatcher, and the city every
year they do this thing when they go around. They
put Santa Claus on back of a fire truck and
they have a parade, and they drive around every single
street in the city, all of them. It's not a
(03:39):
small city, big city. They drive around and and people
come out of their houses to see Santa Claus. And
I've been very fortunate and honored to have this opportunity
for several years. And this past week, I guess it's
ten days ago now, whatever it was, I had the
chance to to play Santa Claus and it was it
(04:00):
was quite the day. Got up a little groggy, got
a little groggy. Danny traveled and rush hour traffic, something
I don't normally spend time in because I usually only
drive when it's off hours. So spent hour in traffic.
Then I ended up going to a public bathroom, and
I SENTI public bathroom. I had to get dressed, so
I had to go out of my I was like Superman,
(04:23):
except I'm Santa Man. I had I had to go
for my citys and I had to put on the
whole Santa costume and all that stuff. So I got
dressed in a public bathroom and I Santa suit, head
to toe, the whole outfit. So I said, did that,
and then I come out as Santa Claus. I walk out.
I've come out of the closet as Santa Claus or
the bathroom, excuse me. And then I at that point
(04:43):
there's a photo op with Santa Danny, so I'm now Santa.
So then I have to and I don't really don't
have to smile because nobody can see my face because
they got a beard. So I perfect exactly. So I
take photos these really cute kids, Oh my god, this
one of the one little girl. She brought me a
cookie that she had gotten from a bakery for Santa.
(05:07):
And since I was playing Santa. I got to eat
the cookie later. It was great. You should have chucked
it like a rock, you know, Danny exactly the look
on her baby. Yeah, as as you know, being a
talk shows, I'm an asshole, But I mean my heart
was just swelling, man, I was. I was just a
ball of emotion, a glass case of emotion. Here. It was.
It was seeing these little kids and how excited they were, Like,
(05:29):
Oh my god, what if only these kids know what's
in store from the rest of their lives. But enjoy
it while you can. Kids, you munchkins, all right, because
it's gonna get a lot harder to get older. But
but anyway, it was. It was cool and you know,
a lot of the kids were smiling somewhere nervous. I
mentioned the little girl brought the cookie, and and so
(05:51):
it was cool. And it was surrounded by the you know,
hard working the police officers, the firefighter, very cool people.
I've I've become friends with, casual friends with them over
the years, some of the people that worked there with
my wife, and so that was great schmoozing with them.
And then right around five o'clock I climbed up to
the very top of the fire truck, crawled on the
(06:13):
roof of the fire truck. I'm very happy I made
it up. I was concerned anyone. Remember my knee went out,
and my knee was out for like a month. I
would not have been able to do this if my
knee was still jacked up and I was still mangle.
So I was able to climb up the fire truck,
crawl across the truck, sit in the chair, and gave
(06:33):
the thumbs up. More on that in a minute. And
what did you do for padding, because you're you're a
little bit too skinny to be Santa. Well, I had
like four layers of clothes on. So yeah, I was.
I was prepared for the inclement weather. No, no, it
was California, cold California. Uh so, So we set off
(06:55):
on the parade, the Santa Parade Police Escort Dame Batch
Ah so good. So the way this parade works, You've
got two lead vehicles with Christmas lights. You've got Santa
Slay because why not the Santa Parade. So in total,
there's six cars in the parade. I'm on the fire truck.
(07:19):
You've got two lead vehicles, the sleigh, the fire truck.
Then there's two police escorts that are clearing the intersections
that are going and clearing the intersections that we're going through.
So Santa you know, I'm much too important to Santa
Claus Danny to have to sit at a red light
taxpayers dollars exactly. Well, this is this is a better
(07:42):
use than than building a stadium. So but anyway, so
I'm doing it. It's really cool. As the night went on,
I'm doing this about four and a half hours on
the back of a fire truck, and it got colder
and colder. And this city is kind of in the foothill,
was in the mountains, and so depending on what part
(08:04):
of the city we were going through, it got down
into the high thirties. And for most people, you know,
if you're listening in Minnesota or or New Hampshire, Connecticut,
or somewhere like that, you're like, what what do you
you A wors But in California, when you're used to
temperatures in the seventies and it gets down to the thirties,
you're like oh. And then when you're outside, you know, anyway, um,
(08:28):
but some of the highlights real quick because I'm going
along here, I keep going It's all about the kids.
It's all about that. I'm playing the kid card from
the bottom of the deck here, Danny. But these kids
who were so hell bent on getting my attention as Santa,
and one of the kids stood out. Now, there were
so many cute kids, but one of them stood out.
(08:50):
And I will probably remember this kid until I check
out of this mortal coil. Kid was around seven or eight,
little typical, cute, little munchkin kids. Comes running out of
this apartment. You can see his mom in the background.
This is what I see, right, he is his mom
in the background. Kid comes running out of Hi tailing
it like he's running a race. He then gets to
(09:12):
the sidewalk and starts I Santa and starts running down
I want for Christmas. I've been good. I want and
he starts naming all these video games. He was hilarious
that he had memorized his entire Santa wish list and
he was like speed reading this little kid. Oh my god,
(09:35):
it was so funny, and I was like, oh, like
I was laughing, and unfortunately I had the beard on
so nobody could see it. And it was hilarious. I
was like, this is out of like a like a
movie or something. It can't be real. And I was like,
it really happened, and and who's he expected me, being
Santa to pass that onto the elves and then they'd
make all the toys. And then it was so innocent
(09:57):
and sweet and wholesome, and I was like, oh my god,
I I should not enjoy this that much. But but
that was great, But that was not the moment that
I I got authenticated Danny as Santa Claus so real quick.
We drove by, if I remember correctly, it was a
Roman Catholic church facility. And as we are driving by
(10:21):
the church, you know, as a Jewish man, I respect
all face. But we're driving by the Roman Catholic church
and this conga line of nuns come walking out of
the church in full the full decked out in the
traditional nun costume, you know, the black veilor yeah, looking
(10:46):
like a whole bunch of WHOOPI goldbergs. Yeah, the white
I think guess it's a white head dress with the
black veil. I don't know, I don't know how you
describe that, but maybe eight to ten of them and
they're waving and saying hi and smiling as we go
by unfortunately not Uh, but that was really cool. That
was that was like, this is this is also out
(11:06):
of like a movie and you know, comedy movie from
the eighties of the nineties, yere and and people have said,
what are you doing? You're an introvert. I am an introvert.
But this is the perfect thing, Danny for an introvert
because I'm away from everyone. I'm on a fire truck.
I am above everyone else, like I've got a higher power.
But I'm covered in a beard. You can't see my face,
(11:29):
you know. I'm just doing my thing. La la la
la la la la la la, you know. And uh,
it was good. But that was the moment I got
authenticated as a legitimate Santa Claus. When the nuns are
dancing and waving and doing their nune things. Uh, yeah,
that was it. That was I got. I got authenticated.
And I did not see any COVID test though, Danny,
(11:51):
I did not throughout the process. I did not see
anyway throw a COVID test in my direction. And not
to be a Christmas downer here, Ben, but that little
kid from the apartment, unless his mom can truly deliver,
he's gonna run out of that same apartment next year
and flip you the bird. Yeah that is true, right,
you're not real Sad yelled off everything last year. He
(12:14):
unless you're you're an asshole. You Yeah. So this COVID
test story, um, I've only talked about it once and
it was on Coveno and Rich on Friday afternoon. So
this definitely is an exclusive right here. All right? All right?
(12:34):
So uh how can I start? How can I say it?
Let's see, so it was weeks ago now, but we
were in Maui. Yeah, what do you think that we
could have possibly brought back from the islands. Uh, well
they have flown back. They check your bags for fruit,
(12:57):
ye like that right, because you're not supposed to bring
fruit there or back. I believe they have certain rules
like that. Um what what did you what do you
bring back? Well, it's funny. So I did a family
group chat and I showed what they called the COVID test. Okay,
and you know it's the test strip, right, there's lots
(13:19):
of different looking COVID tests. We got a whole bunch
of free ones at the Super Bowl last year. I remember, remember, absolutely, Yeah,
I used one of those two. Um, so my mom,
she's like, oh no, I'm so sorry. You guys brought
COVID back my dad same thing. Holy sh it, I'm
so sorry, buddy, you got COVID. My older brother Ben
(13:43):
was the only one with keen eyesight. It was not
a COVID strip. What was a pregnancy test? What my
chick got pregnant in Hawaii? WHOA, oh wow, yeah, are
(14:03):
you sure? But that what Danny not wasting any time?
Danny g life comes at you fast bend Wow, check man?
Do we need to have a take you out for
a party or something here? Wow, that's why let's go, man,
Let's get her hammered on some bourbon. WHOA, you can't
drink anymore? So that's gonna that's gonna affect our trip
(14:25):
to Vegas on Sunday because she's like, oh man, I
can't drink, Like, well you can, but yeah you don't
want to but yeah yeah. So she's got that mother
Nature tracker app like the cycle app on her phone
like a lot of girls do. So she backtracked it.
(14:46):
Sure enough. This happened while we were there on the island.
Are you gonna name the baby Kawaii or Maui or
it's truly a honeymoon baby. The only I can't even
think of a name right now because the only words
going through my mind are holy shit. Wow. Now it's
getting see boy, you talking about life coming at you
(15:08):
fast there, Danny Boy, that escalated. Yeah, I mean I
didn't really get to say the word wife too much.
Now I have to say my pregnant wife, wow, which
is really weird. That's wonderful, man. I congratulations, damn happy man, Daddy,
Danny G. The daddy Man. To celebrate, I went to
(15:30):
the Radar Image store in Universal City, Okay. I ran
inside and I wanted to see what baby stuff they had.
I brought home some raider pacifiers for her. Yeah, there
you go there, early jump, I'm gonna just get all
kinds of raider baby stuff. Yes, you don't know, obviously,
it's too early. Whether it's you know, it's gonna end
(15:51):
up a boy or a girl, whatever, You have no idea.
But I'm gonna say the top to name candidates for
Danny G's baby, just off the top of my head are.
Number two is Bo. Uh. Number one is Kobe. So
I think, uh, either way, boy, that'll be Kobe or
both and Bo will work. Right. You can do the
b e a you uh you know that can go
(16:13):
either way right by Well, yeah, I guess you like
Bo Derek, you know, because you're you're referencing Bo Jackson. Yeah, yeah,
it would be that or Marcus Allen or Marcus is
that's right, Marcus is another one that's for or magic
or yeah, the name a kid magic. But yeah, we
were we were joking around the other day because I
(16:33):
was looking at Hawaiian names. Yeah, I think that might
be appropriate. And she's like, oh, when the kids in trouble,
I'm gonna be like Maliky Lucky Lucky come over here.
Yeah from that ceiling fan. Yeah, well you could also
does she know what island the Dean was done in?
Uh like yeah, Mallie, oh there you go. Well put
(16:56):
Maui in there is the middle name at least, you know,
yeah you know or yeah, well, well you were doing.
Apparently that's what led to that believable congratulations to you
and then the misses there. That's outstanding, So thank you.
Wonderful situation and I got some powerful seed Ben. What
(17:16):
can I say? Apparently you're just waiting all these years, Danny,
until you know you you crossed the threshold. And then
then first time I ever had sex, boom baby, you
know you lost your virginity right there. I lost my virginity. Today,
all these years, think of all that. What could have been? Danny?
All right? So we've got The Naked City Never Sleeps,
(17:40):
a classic of the gossip pages. Here tales from the
Naked City where the names are omitted Danny to protect
the guilty. So I'm gonna ask your opinion, as a
like minded individual, and you're listening to this podcast, I
have been debating in my head whether I'm an asshole
or not for something I did last week at the
(18:01):
Charge your Dolphin game. So I go out to these
games and I try to put some photos up. People
like that. For some reason, people like to look at
me doing things I don't quite understand, but whatever. So
I try to let people into my world and show
them here's what I'm doing, whether I'm cooking or at
a game, and here's some of the people that are
important to me. So I'm at the Charge a Dolphin game,
(18:23):
and again the names are admitted to protect the So
I took a bunch of photos. Steve de Sager was there.
I took a photo with him. I took a photo
with my friend who does the the he's the green
hat for the NFL at the Charger games. That means
he's out there in the field telling the officials, you
gotta stay on time out until we're back from commercial.
He's the guy called the green hat. So he's a
(18:45):
buddy of mine. I've known him. He's a breaking radio
he's a real estate guy now, Scott, great guy. So
there was somebody else, and again I will not name them,
but I wanted to take a photo of this person.
I've known this person for many years. You know this person, Danny,
You're aware of this person. Uh, And so I approached
them to take a photo. They were wearing a mask
(19:07):
and I said, yeah, just can you just take that
off for a second. I want to take a quick
Quoto said no, I can't do it. I said, no,
I just want to quit. I mean two seconds, quick photo, boom,
put it back on. You know it's just me. I mean,
you were the only two people here. I can't do it.
I'll take the photo with the mask. He's at this point,
(19:28):
I'm at a fork in the road and I said,
I said, I'm good. I said, I don't need the photo,
I said, I. I said to me, I need to
see your cheeks. I need that to me, that's a
photo I and I think he was offended and he
walked away. And I am I the Am I in
(19:48):
the wrong on that? Danny? Am I the bad guy there?
I don't get any to me. I look at people
that wear masks and photographs and I think, why, what's
the point? You don't get it? And I wasn't gonna
post it, So maybe somebody told me I should have
taken it and just been polite and said okay and
then not posted it. But it just really rubbed me
(20:10):
the wrong way, like it's like, come, are you that paranoid?
And I understand this person has some issues and I
get it. I understand that, but are you that If
you're that paranoid, you probably should not leave your house.
Because I don't want to be the bad guy here.
But the science is in and the mask doesn't do
much of anything if it. I don't go down that
road because people get all freaked out. They know it's
(20:32):
up people when I bring that up and trying dying
down to a four point seven. I don't want to
cause pandemonium here. And uh, and and turbulence on the show.
But I again, and maybe I am the ass and
you can email me and say, hey, you're a schmuck.
You should have taken the photo and all that, and
and maybe that's you're not in the wrong here, thank you.
(20:52):
I mean, Clay always used to call this cosmetic theater. Yeah,
once the science came out about the mass not being effective,
then what were we all doing? Yeah? They well they
have That's that's the thing that people always trust the science.
Here we go, we're going down that road, Danny, do
we go here? All right, we might have to delete
(21:13):
this podcast, but but no, people would always say, you know,
the the arrogant response to people that were like the
master's stupid, it was trust the science. Well, now the
science is in that proves places that had no mask
and places that had the mask. It's almost identical. That
that is almost so we have the numbers to back
it up. And yet people and I understand, it's kind
(21:35):
of like the way humans are wired. There's two things
in play here. Once people decide make it, make their opinion, know,
they don't want to change their mind. People have decided
that masks are the way to go, and they don't
want to change their mind. Plus, it gives you a
false sense of security, and a lot of people want that,
and that to me is a big thing for a
lot of people. And again, I don't I like this guy.
(21:56):
He's been a friend again, you know him, Danny. I'm
not gonna say his name year, but it just really
it was a visceral reaction when he said no, and
I'm like, okay, I'm I'm good. What do you think
is going to happen the next time you bump into him? Yeah,
well I'm guaranteed to bump into him, and I hope
(22:17):
we just kind of pretend it didn't happen. You know.
It's like an awkward situation for both of us because
he's got his position and I've got my position. Awkward. Yeah,
it's disappointing, and that's the way it goes, all right.
We and I also ran into helmet Man. There are
photos of helmet Man. I fell asleep. What a what
(22:39):
a character helmet Man is. I love that guy. He's
no matter what he's doing, he's always happy. You know,
he doesn't have a lot of money, he's kind of
down on his luck, and he's the happiest guy on
the really he he sees me, and it's like no
time has passed, you know, it's like we're buddies. You know.
I've known him for over twenty years. I run into
him sporadically and and it's just hilarious. He told me
(23:00):
some celebrity sighting stories that people he ran into and
it's I forget off the top of my head here.
And I do have his number, though he changes the
number so I can get him. I can get a
hold of him. We should have him calling the show.
That's right on the live are yeah? Are we on
the live there? I'm actually on the live air. Yes,
(23:22):
you're on the utter chaos with that was hilarious when
he's in the studio with the on air light flashing
above his head. Are we on the live? One of
the best drops of all time? Oh? That was that
was outstanding. Now, speaking of drops, you if you asked
(23:43):
for it, Danny, you're gonna get it. Is that correct, Danny?
You asked for it, You're gonna get it. Because remember
last week we debuted a new feature on the show,
and you had said, hey, can we get a little
bit of helping? Yeah, I mentioned the White Rap group
third base, and and look what happened? Ohio aw Ye,
take a listen to this poo alright, how I love
(24:19):
that man? Ohio Wow, he is bow guarding the musical
features on this here podcast. Thank you so much, the
great Ohio awl. And we can even sound like a
black dude when he wants to out day. What are
you talking about? It's so it's audio were there are
no photos. We're all we're all the same here. What
(24:41):
are you talking about? Right? So pop goes the culture
and these are actual stories from the pop culture world
that we did not get to. I did not get to.
Maybe Danny got to some of these, but these are
things that are somewhat intriguing that are in that realm.
And one of the stories that popped up and pop
(25:03):
goes the culture? How much Moolah did did he? Or
is did he? I should say, allegedly dishing out to
his brand new baby mama. Well, good news, Danny, you're married,
so you don't have to worry about the Well she
has your baby mama, but you're you're in a legally
binding marriage, so you don't have to worry about that.
(25:24):
But do you see this? How much money per month?
Did he is paying? No, what do you think put
a dollar amount? You're about to learn the cost of
diapers and all that crap. So I'm gonna say he
lives like a lavish life. I'm gonna say two and
(25:47):
ten thousand dollars a month. All right, that's a lot
of money. Now, this baby mama is thirty two years old.
She's said to be a quote, massage therapist, unquote. She's
she's here in southern California where we're broadcasting from. All right,
she also is a model. I love that massage therapist
and model. Sounds like Deshaun Watson's getting a chubby right
now thinking about that. But anyway, wasn't all right? Here's
(26:09):
the deal, the dollar amount. The tabloids say that the
number is three hundred thousand dollars a month. So you
were not far off, Danny, and you did not go over.
So you win the showcase showdown. Congratulations. Yes, you imagine
having enough money to pay someone three thousand dollars a month.
(26:30):
Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Crazy, crazy crazy. Now, are
you still working behind the scenes, Danny on the Animal Thunderdome?
Are you still working on that? Yeah? It's funny you
should ask Ben. On Thursday morning, I got an email
from one of our bosses and he said that the
(26:52):
legal department just finished licensing it. They're working on the
new stream for it, and we will be ready to
go on the air in January or the very beginning
of February at the latest. Oh congratulations, thank you outstanding,
And this will be a weekly podcast or what's the okay?
(27:13):
Very nice and all the crazy animal stories, well, this
is one that would have made the animal thunder Dome.
And it's a dateline South Florida. And if you're a
fan of the exotic animals, the fattest boa constrictor ever.
I don't think a bowl constrictor is exotic, but the
(27:34):
fattest Bola constrictor ever has been found in South Florida
in a backyard, South Florida. And they they've said that
Florida is home to forty four native species of snakes,
six of them are venomous, and a lot of that
(27:55):
in the Florida Everglades. This is down south in South Florida,
and the fattest boa constrictor ever. There's video that has
made its way around the internet. I don't know if
you saw it, Danny or not. But this snake was
found near Naples, which is actually right on the edge
(28:16):
of the the Everglades. And you're you're wondering, how fat
is the snake, Danny, That's what you're wondering. Yes, how fat?
The albino Boa constrictor estimated to be nine point five
ft long and weighing a frightening fifty two point six
(28:38):
pounds of snakeage. And that is a plump snake. That's
a plump pussy right there, right there, that is a
that is a fat python. Kind of exploded. Man, oh man,
that's pretty pretty crazy. Might want to go on a diet.
(28:59):
What do you think that things eat? I think we
know what. It's eating a lot whatever it's eating and
seating a lot of stuff. Did you see the New
York Post story about the hippo that swallowed a two
year old boy? Oh no, that's unfortunate it didn't spit
them back out. Really yeah, that would be like the
what's the great whale tail? What do you what's the jonah? No, no, no,
(29:21):
the one we no, no, no no, I think I'm getting
the name of it. You get stuck in a whales
belly and you know that. What's that? What is the
name of I forget anyway, right now you're listening to saying, hey, stupid,
this is what it is. I got it all right, fine,
I'll remember it five minutes from now, but I don't
remember now. Um. Next up on pop goes the culture
dateline ran and apparently it's true. The rumor is true.
(29:48):
The soccer players who were protesting for women's rights against
Team USA at the World Cup are facing execution back
in their native country. That is not surprising, but wild
(30:08):
and crazy. That's actually gonna happen. It would appear based
on a report from a group that is monitoring the
bad things the Iranian government he's doing. At least that's
what they're claiming that one player in particular, who is
apparently the leader of the group, that that player is
(30:30):
the one that will likely end up meeting his demise.
So God America. Yeah, that's kind of kind of well.
Speaking of oddities and moving on from the saddest, here's
another sad story. According to experts, three not one, not
too but three astronauts could that's a weezl word, could
(30:52):
be trapped in space. Uh, there's an incident at the
International Space Station. Didn't they make a movie about this? Also,
I feel like they made a movie about this. Didn't
they make a movie about being stuck in space or
something along those lines. Yes, No, they made twelve movies
about being stuck in space. Yeah, okay, So two Russian
crew members who were supposed to embark on a spacewalk
(31:16):
on Wednesday night were forced to abort those plans after
mission controls spotted a leak from the spacecraft that carried them,
and in an American representative to to the Russian side
in September and so the leak is fairly significant, and
they were talking there are concerns the League couldn't make
(31:38):
the Shuttle unfit to come back to Earth or prevent
it from being used to escape in the event of
a more serious emergency. Holy crap. Uh. Yeah, So the
the athletes were or the athletes the astronauts were gonna
return to Earth. They were not slate to return until
(31:59):
March of me three. So they have supplies. That's not
a big concern. But if one thing goes wrong, it's
turn out the lights. The party's over. Um that the
worst case scenario. So they're trying to figure out what
to do? How about that? Imagine floating through space forever.
(32:23):
It's like Matthew McConaughey in that movie Interstellar Man. That
is uh, imagine being the family of those people too.
You know, oh wait wait a minute, here, you can't
he can't. They can't come back here you what are you?
What are you talking about? He? What up? It's a
return trip. I would do a couple more. Pop goes
(32:43):
the culture. I see if you can get this right, Danny,
it's there's a new report out that says that if
you're under one of these three zodiac signs, you are
more likely to cheat. Yeah, this is this is if
you're I don't if you believe in the zodiac chart
and all that, but we need Andrea for this. I'm
(33:09):
gonna say Libra, okay, Corpio and Capricorn. Alright, So according
to the astra the people what they call the astrologers,
is that what you call yeah, accord of the astrologers,
the three are you have? You gotta write Libra libras
(33:32):
excuse are on there? The report says no one lies
as easily or cheats as successfully as a Libra. Are you?
What sign are you? Then? Are you alieving Capricorn born alright? Uh?
Also Pisces, it is on the lists. Yeah, exactly, So
(33:57):
the pisces great adulters as well. Uh. They give examples
here of a bunch of musicians who Pisces, Robin Thicke,
Adam Levine, there's a bunch of other ones here. They're
using that as an example. So we have Pisces, we
(34:17):
have libras, and the third and final, third and final
would be the Gemini. The Gemini. That's that includes Kanye West,
Donald Trump, Big Benzer, Front of Mine, lamar Odom, and
(34:39):
some other famous people I've never heard. My mistress is
a Leoh, well she's uh, she's locked in for the
next nine months. Stand here. So she's got a contract there,
so she's she's locked in on that, all right. Last
one on pop goes the culture. Dictionary dot Com announced
the word of the year for the year two. Always
(35:02):
a fun thing. The word of the year, and the
word of the year is danny. See this, No, I
didn't see this. Woman. Woman is the word of the year. Well, yeah,
there's been that, like war, what is a woman? You know,
dudes are trying to be women and then they're like well,
that's a woman. You know. If you say you're a woman,
you're a woman. And I'm a traditionalist, load, Danny, I
(35:24):
could get in trouble for this, but I believe there
are women and men and that's kind of where the
world works. But people have been googling the definition of women.
What you just said was a sizzling hot take. Thank you,
thank you. That's right, amazing hot take. Almost like that
story that said humans will become bionic hybrids and download
(35:45):
their brains downloadable brains by the year. Very excited, very exciting. Alright, backscratcher, Danny.
Did we get any reviews this week? Any at all?
We begged last week? Did anyone scratch back? No, we
didn't beg Remember we made it a point to say
no begging here. Okay, you appreciate it, but no begging.
(36:09):
I'm gonna say, people are busy right now with the holidays,
and there's probably not any new ones at the moment. Well, Danny,
g you'll be happy to know that you are wrong.
You are wrong. We had one review from a Dodger fan.
He did not write his name on here, but he
said five stars. Very entertaining, makes working nights bearable, So
(36:30):
I guess he listens to us even at night, when
you can listen to the podcast whenever you want, all right,
So God bless you, Mazleto whoever you are. Next time,
put your name on there so we'll give you a
little podcast love. We'll get out on that. Give us
a review if you want. That would be a wonderful Hanukah,
Christmas gift or whatever it might be. In next weekend, Danny,
(36:51):
it's coming up here. Holidays upon us, and we're gonna
continue on the right. The plan is to keep doing
the podcast. We're not gonna no days off, right, that's
the plan. No damn days off Man, the full Enchilada,
full Enchilada any to promote here. We got the mail
bag on Sunday, I know that. Yeah, I got a
baby to pay for now, So I'm gonna be in
(37:12):
working along shift on Saturday at the network. I'll be
in there with Jonas Knocks on his Saturday show starting
at eleven am. You'll be adding seven more podcast, Danny,
to make more money for the kid. Not to not three,
not full, not five, not six, And by the time
that kids in college, I think it'll be seven hundred
(37:34):
thousand dollars a year tuition by the time that kids
in college. My god, alright, have a great rest of
your day. Enjoy the football. Don't forget Benny versus the
penny from Friday, so enjoy that leading into the games
here on this NFL Saturday, and we'll be back with
a mail bag on our Sunday show. Will catch you then,
Osta pasta gott a murder. I gotta go.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the a everywhere
as it's the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
G Radio back in the podcast Ojo. Because four hours
a night not enough for me. Four hours during the
(00:46):
day or three hours during the day not enough for
Danny G. And eight days a week, eight days a week.
We've got you covered here, Danny with audio content. I'm
not a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add
up well. Before and after that show, that's eight hours
for me, and then six hours on Saturday and then
post production on Sunday morning. But we never have enough work.
(01:09):
Though now these are first world problems. It certainly beats
having a real job, so we appreciate that Saturday. Well.
If you if you're new to the podcast, welcome, Where
have you been? Tell a friend and we would like
to recommend giving the gift of the podcast a wonderful
(01:29):
stocking stuffer this time of the year. Can you think
I can't think of anything that that children and uh
and grown ups everyone would would would rather have than
a link to this podcast. The only thing better would
be a free sample from Costco. Yeah, well that's that's
(01:50):
a given, alright. So here on this podcast we've got
authenticated is that a COVID test, tales from the Naked
Itty and pop goes the culture, and we might have
time for Backstratcher as well, So we got a lot
to get. All right, we're gonna go rapid fire, Danny,
do you understand it's gonna be This gonna be awesome.
(02:12):
Sauce is what it's gonna be, because we're gonna go
back and forth and it's gonna overwhelm you on the
Life of Mallard and the Life of Danny g Radio.
It's gonna flow like ranch at a pizza joint, and
that's disgusted. The right to the toilet is what it alright. So,
as you know, if you have followed me on the
(02:35):
social networks on Facebook or the Graham last week I
missed the radio show this is two weeks ago. Now,
I missed a Thursday show because I was on assignment
at the North Pole. Danny m a very special time.
It is the one day of the year that I
(02:56):
get out of my shell and I get to do
what is one of the coolest things you can possibly do.
A highly recommend this if you have connections playing a
mascot the man, enjoy me. Wonderful. Wonderful. Now for those
that are new, my wife where she works, the city
(03:17):
she works in, she's a dispatcher, and the city every
year they do this thing when they go around. They
put Santa Claus on back of a fire truck and
they have a parade, and they drive around every single
street in the city, all of them. It's not a
(03:39):
small city, big city. They drive around and and people
come out of their houses to see Santa Claus. And
I've been very fortunate and honored to have this opportunity
for several years. And this past week, I guess it's
ten days ago now, whatever it was, I had the
chance to to play Santa Claus and it was it
(04:00):
was quite the day. Got up a little groggy, got
a little groggy. Danny traveled and rush hour traffic, something
I don't normally spend time in because I usually only
drive when it's off hours. So spent hour in traffic.
Then I ended up going to a public bathroom, and
I SENTI public bathroom. I had to get dressed, so
I had to go out of my I was like Superman,
(04:23):
except I'm Santa Man. I had I had to go
for my citys and I had to put on the
whole Santa costume and all that stuff. So I got
dressed in a public bathroom and I Santa suit, head
to toe, the whole outfit. So I said, did that,
and then I come out as Santa Claus. I walk out.
I've come out of the closet as Santa Claus or
the bathroom, excuse me. And then I at that point
(04:43):
there's a photo op with Santa Danny, so I'm now Santa.
So then I have to and I don't really don't
have to smile because nobody can see my face because
they got a beard. So I perfect exactly. So I
take photos these really cute kids, Oh my god, this
one of the one little girl. She brought me a
cookie that she had gotten from a bakery for Santa.
(05:07):
And since I was playing Santa. I got to eat
the cookie later. It was great. You should have chucked
it like a rock, you know, Danny exactly the look
on her baby. Yeah, as as you know, being a
talk shows, I'm an asshole, But I mean my heart
was just swelling, man, I was. I was just a
ball of emotion, a glass case of emotion. Here. It was.
It was seeing these little kids and how excited they were, Like,
(05:29):
Oh my god, what if only these kids know what's
in store from the rest of their lives. But enjoy
it while you can. Kids, you munchkins, all right, because
it's gonna get a lot harder to get older. But
but anyway, it was. It was cool and you know,
a lot of the kids were smiling somewhere nervous. I
mentioned the little girl brought the cookie, and and so
(05:51):
it was cool. And it was surrounded by the you know,
hard working the police officers, the firefighter, very cool people.
I've I've become friends with, casual friends with them over
the years, some of the people that worked there with
my wife, and so that was great schmoozing with them.
And then right around five o'clock I climbed up to
the very top of the fire truck, crawled on the
(06:13):
roof of the fire truck. I'm very happy I made
it up. I was concerned anyone. Remember my knee went out,
and my knee was out for like a month. I
would not have been able to do this if my
knee was still jacked up and I was still mangle.
So I was able to climb up the fire truck,
crawl across the truck, sit in the chair, and gave
(06:33):
the thumbs up. More on that in a minute. And
what did you do for padding, because you're you're a
little bit too skinny to be Santa. Well, I had
like four layers of clothes on. So yeah, I was.
I was prepared for the inclement weather. No, no, it
was California, cold California. Uh so, So we set off
(06:55):
on the parade, the Santa Parade Police Escort Dame Batch
Ah so good. So the way this parade works, You've
got two lead vehicles with Christmas lights. You've got Santa
Slay because why not the Santa Parade. So in total,
there's six cars in the parade. I'm on the fire truck.
(07:19):
You've got two lead vehicles, the sleigh, the fire truck.
Then there's two police escorts that are clearing the intersections
that are going and clearing the intersections that we're going through.
So Santa you know, I'm much too important to Santa
Claus Danny to have to sit at a red light
taxpayers dollars exactly. Well, this is this is a better
(07:42):
use than than building a stadium. So but anyway, so
I'm doing it. It's really cool. As the night went on,
I'm doing this about four and a half hours on
the back of a fire truck, and it got colder
and colder. And this city is kind of in the foothill,
was in the mountains, and so depending on what part
(08:04):
of the city we were going through, it got down
into the high thirties. And for most people, you know,
if you're listening in Minnesota or or New Hampshire, Connecticut,
or somewhere like that, you're like, what what do you
you A wors But in California, when you're used to
temperatures in the seventies and it gets down to the thirties,
you're like oh. And then when you're outside, you know, anyway, um,
(08:28):
but some of the highlights real quick because I'm going
along here, I keep going It's all about the kids.
It's all about that. I'm playing the kid card from
the bottom of the deck here, Danny. But these kids
who were so hell bent on getting my attention as Santa,
and one of the kids stood out. Now, there were
so many cute kids, but one of them stood out.
(08:50):
And I will probably remember this kid until I check
out of this mortal coil. Kid was around seven or eight,
little typical, cute, little munchkin kids. Comes running out of
this apartment. You can see his mom in the background.
This is what I see, right, he is his mom
in the background. Kid comes running out of Hi tailing
it like he's running a race. He then gets to
(09:12):
the sidewalk and starts I Santa and starts running down
I want for Christmas. I've been good. I want and
he starts naming all these video games. He was hilarious
that he had memorized his entire Santa wish list and
he was like speed reading this little kid. Oh my god,
(09:35):
it was so funny, and I was like, oh, like
I was laughing, and unfortunately I had the beard on
so nobody could see it. And it was hilarious. I
was like, this is out of like a like a
movie or something. It can't be real. And I was like,
it really happened, and and who's he expected me, being
Santa to pass that onto the elves and then they'd
make all the toys. And then it was so innocent
(09:57):
and sweet and wholesome, and I was like, oh my god,
I I should not enjoy this that much. But but
that was great, But that was not the moment that
I I got authenticated Danny as Santa Claus so real quick.
We drove by, if I remember correctly, it was a
Roman Catholic church facility. And as we are driving by
(10:21):
the church, you know, as a Jewish man, I respect
all face. But we're driving by the Roman Catholic church
and this conga line of nuns come walking out of
the church in full the full decked out in the
traditional nun costume, you know, the black veilor yeah, looking
(10:46):
like a whole bunch of WHOOPI goldbergs. Yeah, the white
I think guess it's a white head dress with the
black veil. I don't know, I don't know how you
describe that, but maybe eight to ten of them and
they're waving and saying hi and smiling as we go
by unfortunately not Uh, but that was really cool. That
was that was like, this is this is also out
(11:06):
of like a movie and you know, comedy movie from
the eighties of the nineties, yere and and people have said,
what are you doing? You're an introvert. I am an introvert.
But this is the perfect thing, Danny for an introvert
because I'm away from everyone. I'm on a fire truck.
I am above everyone else, like I've got a higher power.
But I'm covered in a beard. You can't see my face,
(11:29):
you know. I'm just doing my thing. La la la
la la la la la la, you know. And uh,
it was good. But that was the moment I got
authenticated as a legitimate Santa Claus. When the nuns are
dancing and waving and doing their nune things. Uh, yeah,
that was it. That was I got. I got authenticated.
And I did not see any COVID test though, Danny,
(11:51):
I did not throughout the process. I did not see
anyway throw a COVID test in my direction. And not
to be a Christmas downer here, Ben, but that little
kid from the apartment, unless his mom can truly deliver,
he's gonna run out of that same apartment next year
and flip you the bird. Yeah that is true, right,
you're not real Sad yelled off everything last year. He
(12:14):
unless you're you're an asshole. You Yeah. So this COVID
test story, um, I've only talked about it once and
it was on Coveno and Rich on Friday afternoon. So
this definitely is an exclusive right here. All right? All right?
(12:34):
So uh how can I start? How can I say it?
Let's see, so it was weeks ago now, but we
were in Maui. Yeah, what do you think that we
could have possibly brought back from the islands. Uh, well
they have flown back. They check your bags for fruit,
(12:57):
ye like that right, because you're not supposed to bring
fruit there or back. I believe they have certain rules
like that. Um what what did you what do you
bring back? Well, it's funny. So I did a family
group chat and I showed what they called the COVID test. Okay,
and you know it's the test strip, right, there's lots
(13:19):
of different looking COVID tests. We got a whole bunch
of free ones at the Super Bowl last year. I remember, remember, absolutely, Yeah,
I used one of those two. Um, so my mom,
she's like, oh no, I'm so sorry. You guys brought
COVID back my dad same thing. Holy sh it, I'm
so sorry, buddy, you got COVID. My older brother Ben
(13:43):
was the only one with keen eyesight. It was not
a COVID strip. What was a pregnancy test? What my
chick got pregnant in Hawaii? WHOA, oh wow, yeah, are
(14:03):
you sure? But that what Danny not wasting any time?
Danny g life comes at you fast bend Wow, check man?
Do we need to have a take you out for
a party or something here? Wow, that's why let's go, man,
Let's get her hammered on some bourbon. WHOA, you can't
drink anymore? So that's gonna that's gonna affect our trip
(14:25):
to Vegas on Sunday because she's like, oh man, I
can't drink, Like, well you can, but yeah you don't
want to but yeah yeah. So she's got that mother
Nature tracker app like the cycle app on her phone
like a lot of girls do. So she backtracked it.
(14:46):
Sure enough. This happened while we were there on the island.
Are you gonna name the baby Kawaii or Maui or
it's truly a honeymoon baby. The only I can't even
think of a name right now because the only words
going through my mind are holy shit. Wow. Now it's
getting see boy, you talking about life coming at you
(15:08):
fast there, Danny Boy, that escalated. Yeah, I mean I
didn't really get to say the word wife too much.
Now I have to say my pregnant wife, wow, which
is really weird. That's wonderful, man. I congratulations, damn happy man, Daddy,
Danny G. The daddy Man. To celebrate, I went to
(15:30):
the Radar Image store in Universal City, Okay. I ran
inside and I wanted to see what baby stuff they had.
I brought home some raider pacifiers for her. Yeah, there
you go there, early jump, I'm gonna just get all
kinds of raider baby stuff. Yes, you don't know, obviously,
it's too early. Whether it's you know, it's gonna end
(15:51):
up a boy or a girl, whatever, You have no idea.
But I'm gonna say the top to name candidates for
Danny G's baby, just off the top of my head are.
Number two is Bo. Uh. Number one is Kobe. So
I think, uh, either way, boy, that'll be Kobe or
both and Bo will work. Right. You can do the
b e a you uh you know that can go
(16:13):
either way right by Well, yeah, I guess you like
Bo Derek, you know, because you're you're referencing Bo Jackson. Yeah, yeah,
it would be that or Marcus Allen or Marcus is
that's right, Marcus is another one that's for or magic
or yeah, the name a kid magic. But yeah, we
were we were joking around the other day because I
(16:33):
was looking at Hawaiian names. Yeah, I think that might
be appropriate. And she's like, oh, when the kids in trouble,
I'm gonna be like Maliky Lucky Lucky come over here.
Yeah from that ceiling fan. Yeah, well you could also
does she know what island the Dean was done in?
Uh like yeah, Mallie, oh there you go. Well put
(16:56):
Maui in there is the middle name at least, you know,
yeah you know or yeah, well, well you were doing.
Apparently that's what led to that believable congratulations to you
and then the misses there. That's outstanding, So thank you.
Wonderful situation and I got some powerful seed Ben. What
(17:16):
can I say? Apparently you're just waiting all these years, Danny,
until you know you you crossed the threshold. And then
then first time I ever had sex, boom baby, you
know you lost your virginity right there. I lost my virginity. Today,
all these years, think of all that. What could have been? Danny?
All right? So we've got The Naked City Never Sleeps,
(17:40):
a classic of the gossip pages. Here tales from the
Naked City where the names are omitted Danny to protect
the guilty. So I'm gonna ask your opinion, as a
like minded individual, and you're listening to this podcast, I
have been debating in my head whether I'm an asshole
or not for something I did last week at the
(18:01):
Charge your Dolphin game. So I go out to these
games and I try to put some photos up. People
like that. For some reason, people like to look at
me doing things I don't quite understand, but whatever. So
I try to let people into my world and show
them here's what I'm doing, whether I'm cooking or at
a game, and here's some of the people that are
important to me. So I'm at the Charge a Dolphin game,
(18:23):
and again the names are admitted to protect the So
I took a bunch of photos. Steve de Sager was there.
I took a photo with him. I took a photo
with my friend who does the the he's the green
hat for the NFL at the Charger games. That means
he's out there in the field telling the officials, you
gotta stay on time out until we're back from commercial.
He's the guy called the green hat. So he's a
(18:45):
buddy of mine. I've known him. He's a breaking radio
he's a real estate guy now, Scott, great guy. So
there was somebody else, and again I will not name them,
but I wanted to take a photo of this person.
I've known this person for many years. You know this person, Danny,
You're aware of this person. Uh, And so I approached
them to take a photo. They were wearing a mask
(19:07):
and I said, yeah, just can you just take that
off for a second. I want to take a quick
Quoto said no, I can't do it. I said, no,
I just want to quit. I mean two seconds, quick photo, boom,
put it back on. You know it's just me. I mean,
you were the only two people here. I can't do it.
I'll take the photo with the mask. He's at this point,
(19:28):
I'm at a fork in the road and I said,
I said, I'm good. I said, I don't need the photo,
I said, I. I said to me, I need to
see your cheeks. I need that to me, that's a
photo I and I think he was offended and he
walked away. And I am I the Am I in
(19:48):
the wrong on that? Danny? Am I the bad guy there?
I don't get any to me. I look at people
that wear masks and photographs and I think, why, what's
the point? You don't get it? And I wasn't gonna
post it, So maybe somebody told me I should have
taken it and just been polite and said okay and
then not posted it. But it just really rubbed me
(20:10):
the wrong way, like it's like, come, are you that paranoid?
And I understand this person has some issues and I
get it. I understand that, but are you that If
you're that paranoid, you probably should not leave your house.
Because I don't want to be the bad guy here.
But the science is in and the mask doesn't do
much of anything if it. I don't go down that
road because people get all freaked out. They know it's
(20:32):
up people when I bring that up and trying dying
down to a four point seven. I don't want to
cause pandemonium here. And uh, and and turbulence on the show.
But I again, and maybe I am the ass and
you can email me and say, hey, you're a schmuck.
You should have taken the photo and all that, and
and maybe that's you're not in the wrong here, thank you.
(20:52):
I mean, Clay always used to call this cosmetic theater. Yeah,
once the science came out about the mass not being effective,
then what were we all doing? Yeah? They well they
have That's that's the thing that people always trust the science.
Here we go, we're going down that road, Danny, do
we go here? All right, we might have to delete
(21:13):
this podcast, but but no, people would always say, you know,
the the arrogant response to people that were like the
master's stupid, it was trust the science. Well, now the
science is in that proves places that had no mask
and places that had the mask. It's almost identical. That
that is almost so we have the numbers to back
it up. And yet people and I understand, it's kind
(21:35):
of like the way humans are wired. There's two things
in play here. Once people decide make it, make their opinion, know,
they don't want to change their mind. People have decided
that masks are the way to go, and they don't
want to change their mind. Plus, it gives you a
false sense of security, and a lot of people want that,
and that to me is a big thing for a
lot of people. And again, I don't I like this guy.
(21:56):
He's been a friend again, you know him, Danny. I'm
not gonna say his name year, but it just really
it was a visceral reaction when he said no, and
I'm like, okay, I'm I'm good. What do you think
is going to happen the next time you bump into him? Yeah,
well I'm guaranteed to bump into him, and I hope
(22:17):
we just kind of pretend it didn't happen. You know.
It's like an awkward situation for both of us because
he's got his position and I've got my position. Awkward. Yeah,
it's disappointing, and that's the way it goes, all right.
We and I also ran into helmet Man. There are
photos of helmet Man. I fell asleep. What a what
(22:39):
a character helmet Man is. I love that guy. He's
no matter what he's doing, he's always happy. You know,
he doesn't have a lot of money, he's kind of
down on his luck, and he's the happiest guy on
the really he he sees me, and it's like no
time has passed, you know, it's like we're buddies. You know.
I've known him for over twenty years. I run into
him sporadically and and it's just hilarious. He told me
(23:00):
some celebrity sighting stories that people he ran into and
it's I forget off the top of my head here.
And I do have his number, though he changes the
number so I can get him. I can get a
hold of him. We should have him calling the show.
That's right on the live are yeah? Are we on
the live there? I'm actually on the live air. Yes,
(23:22):
you're on the utter chaos with that was hilarious when
he's in the studio with the on air light flashing
above his head. Are we on the live? One of
the best drops of all time? Oh? That was that
was outstanding. Now, speaking of drops, you if you asked
(23:43):
for it, Danny, you're gonna get it. Is that correct, Danny?
You asked for it, You're gonna get it. Because remember
last week we debuted a new feature on the show,
and you had said, hey, can we get a little
bit of helping? Yeah, I mentioned the White Rap group
third base, and and look what happened? Ohio aw Ye,
take a listen to this poo alright, how I love
(24:19):
that man? Ohio Wow, he is bow guarding the musical
features on this here podcast. Thank you so much, the
great Ohio awl. And we can even sound like a
black dude when he wants to out day. What are
you talking about? It's so it's audio were there are
no photos. We're all we're all the same here. What
(24:41):
are you talking about? Right? So pop goes the culture
and these are actual stories from the pop culture world
that we did not get to. I did not get to.
Maybe Danny got to some of these, but these are
things that are somewhat intriguing that are in that realm.
And one of the stories that popped up and pop
(25:03):
goes the culture? How much Moolah did did he? Or
is did he? I should say, allegedly dishing out to
his brand new baby mama. Well, good news, Danny, you're married,
so you don't have to worry about the Well she
has your baby mama, but you're you're in a legally
binding marriage, so you don't have to worry about that.
(25:24):
But do you see this? How much money per month?
Did he is paying? No, what do you think put
a dollar amount? You're about to learn the cost of
diapers and all that crap. So I'm gonna say he
lives like a lavish life. I'm gonna say two and
(25:47):
ten thousand dollars a month. All right, that's a lot
of money. Now, this baby mama is thirty two years old.
She's said to be a quote, massage therapist, unquote. She's
she's here in southern California where we're broadcasting from. All right,
she also is a model. I love that massage therapist
and model. Sounds like Deshaun Watson's getting a chubby right
now thinking about that. But anyway, wasn't all right? Here's
(26:09):
the deal, the dollar amount. The tabloids say that the
number is three hundred thousand dollars a month. So you
were not far off, Danny, and you did not go over.
So you win the showcase showdown. Congratulations. Yes, you imagine
having enough money to pay someone three thousand dollars a month.
(26:30):
Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Crazy, crazy crazy. Now, are
you still working behind the scenes, Danny on the Animal Thunderdome?
Are you still working on that? Yeah? It's funny you
should ask Ben. On Thursday morning, I got an email
from one of our bosses and he said that the
(26:52):
legal department just finished licensing it. They're working on the
new stream for it, and we will be ready to
go on the air in January or the very beginning
of February at the latest. Oh congratulations, thank you outstanding,
And this will be a weekly podcast or what's the okay?
(27:13):
Very nice and all the crazy animal stories, well, this
is one that would have made the animal thunder Dome.
And it's a dateline South Florida. And if you're a
fan of the exotic animals, the fattest boa constrictor ever.
I don't think a bowl constrictor is exotic, but the
(27:34):
fattest Bola constrictor ever has been found in South Florida
in a backyard, South Florida. And they they've said that
Florida is home to forty four native species of snakes,
six of them are venomous, and a lot of that
(27:55):
in the Florida Everglades. This is down south in South Florida,
and the fattest boa constrictor ever. There's video that has
made its way around the internet. I don't know if
you saw it, Danny or not. But this snake was
found near Naples, which is actually right on the edge
(28:16):
of the the Everglades. And you're you're wondering, how fat
is the snake, Danny, That's what you're wondering. Yes, how fat?
The albino Boa constrictor estimated to be nine point five
ft long and weighing a frightening fifty two point six
(28:38):
pounds of snakeage. And that is a plump snake. That's
a plump pussy right there, right there, that is a
that is a fat python. Kind of exploded. Man, oh man,
that's pretty pretty crazy. Might want to go on a diet.
(28:59):
What do you think that things eat? I think we
know what. It's eating a lot whatever it's eating and
seating a lot of stuff. Did you see the New
York Post story about the hippo that swallowed a two
year old boy? Oh no, that's unfortunate it didn't spit
them back out. Really yeah, that would be like the
what's the great whale tail? What do you what's the jonah? No, no, no,
(29:21):
the one we no, no, no no, I think I'm getting
the name of it. You get stuck in a whales
belly and you know that. What's that? What is the
name of I forget anyway, right now you're listening to saying, hey, stupid,
this is what it is. I got it all right, fine,
I'll remember it five minutes from now, but I don't
remember now. Um. Next up on pop goes the culture
dateline ran and apparently it's true. The rumor is true.
(29:48):
The soccer players who were protesting for women's rights against
Team USA at the World Cup are facing execution back
in their native country. That is not surprising, but wild
(30:08):
and crazy. That's actually gonna happen. It would appear based
on a report from a group that is monitoring the
bad things the Iranian government he's doing. At least that's
what they're claiming that one player in particular, who is
apparently the leader of the group, that that player is
(30:30):
the one that will likely end up meeting his demise.
So God America. Yeah, that's kind of kind of well.
Speaking of oddities and moving on from the saddest, here's
another sad story. According to experts, three not one, not
too but three astronauts could that's a weezl word, could
(30:52):
be trapped in space. Uh, there's an incident at the
International Space Station. Didn't they make a movie about this? Also,
I feel like they made a movie about this. Didn't
they make a movie about being stuck in space or
something along those lines. Yes, No, they made twelve movies
about being stuck in space. Yeah, okay, So two Russian
crew members who were supposed to embark on a spacewalk
(31:16):
on Wednesday night were forced to abort those plans after
mission controls spotted a leak from the spacecraft that carried them,
and in an American representative to to the Russian side
in September and so the leak is fairly significant, and
they were talking there are concerns the League couldn't make
(31:38):
the Shuttle unfit to come back to Earth or prevent
it from being used to escape in the event of
a more serious emergency. Holy crap. Uh. Yeah, So the
the athletes were or the athletes the astronauts were gonna
return to Earth. They were not slate to return until
(31:59):
March of me three. So they have supplies. That's not
a big concern. But if one thing goes wrong, it's
turn out the lights. The party's over. Um that the
worst case scenario. So they're trying to figure out what
to do? How about that? Imagine floating through space forever.
(32:23):
It's like Matthew McConaughey in that movie Interstellar Man. That
is uh, imagine being the family of those people too.
You know, oh wait wait a minute, here, you can't
he can't. They can't come back here you what are you?
What are you talking about? He? What up? It's a
return trip. I would do a couple more. Pop goes
(32:43):
the culture. I see if you can get this right, Danny,
it's there's a new report out that says that if
you're under one of these three zodiac signs, you are
more likely to cheat. Yeah, this is this is if
you're I don't if you believe in the zodiac chart
and all that, but we need Andrea for this. I'm
(33:09):
gonna say Libra, okay, Corpio and Capricorn. Alright, So according
to the astra the people what they call the astrologers,
is that what you call yeah, accord of the astrologers,
the three are you have? You gotta write Libra libras
(33:32):
excuse are on there? The report says no one lies
as easily or cheats as successfully as a Libra. Are you?
What sign are you? Then? Are you alieving Capricorn born alright? Uh?
Also Pisces, it is on the lists. Yeah, exactly, So
(33:57):
the pisces great adulters as well. Uh. They give examples
here of a bunch of musicians who Pisces, Robin Thicke,
Adam Levine, there's a bunch of other ones here. They're
using that as an example. So we have Pisces, we
(34:17):
have libras, and the third and final, third and final
would be the Gemini. The Gemini. That's that includes Kanye West,
Donald Trump, Big Benzer, Front of Mine, lamar Odom, and
(34:39):
some other famous people I've never heard. My mistress is
a Leoh, well she's uh, she's locked in for the
next nine months. Stand here. So she's got a contract there,
so she's she's locked in on that, all right. Last
one on pop goes the culture. Dictionary dot Com announced
the word of the year for the year two. Always
(35:02):
a fun thing. The word of the year, and the
word of the year is danny. See this, No, I
didn't see this. Woman. Woman is the word of the year. Well, yeah,
there's been that, like war, what is a woman? You know,
dudes are trying to be women and then they're like well,
that's a woman. You know. If you say you're a woman,
you're a woman. And I'm a traditionalist, load, Danny, I
(35:24):
could get in trouble for this, but I believe there
are women and men and that's kind of where the
world works. But people have been googling the definition of women.
What you just said was a sizzling hot take. Thank you,
thank you. That's right, amazing hot take. Almost like that
story that said humans will become bionic hybrids and download
(35:45):
their brains downloadable brains by the year. Very excited, very exciting. Alright, backscratcher, Danny.
Did we get any reviews this week? Any at all?
We begged last week? Did anyone scratch back? No, we
didn't beg Remember we made it a point to say
no begging here. Okay, you appreciate it, but no begging.
(36:09):
I'm gonna say, people are busy right now with the holidays,
and there's probably not any new ones at the moment. Well, Danny,
g you'll be happy to know that you are wrong.
You are wrong. We had one review from a Dodger fan.
He did not write his name on here, but he
said five stars. Very entertaining, makes working nights bearable, So
(36:30):
I guess he listens to us even at night, when
you can listen to the podcast whenever you want, all right,
So God bless you, Mazleto whoever you are. Next time,
put your name on there so we'll give you a
little podcast love. We'll get out on that. Give us
a review if you want. That would be a wonderful Hanukah,
Christmas gift or whatever it might be. In next weekend, Danny,
(36:51):
it's coming up here. Holidays upon us, and we're gonna
continue on the right. The plan is to keep doing
the podcast. We're not gonna no days off, right, that's
the plan. No damn days off Man, the full Enchilada,
full Enchilada any to promote here. We got the mail
bag on Sunday, I know that. Yeah, I got a
baby to pay for now, So I'm gonna be in
(37:12):
working along shift on Saturday at the network. I'll be
in there with Jonas Knocks on his Saturday show starting
at eleven am. You'll be adding seven more podcast, Danny,
to make more money for the kid. Not to not three,
not full, not five, not six, And by the time
that kids in college, I think it'll be seven hundred
(37:34):
thousand dollars a year tuition by the time that kids
in college. My god, alright, have a great rest of
your day. Enjoy the football. Don't forget Benny versus the
penny from Friday, so enjoy that leading into the games
here on this NFL Saturday, and we'll be back with
a mail bag on our Sunday show. Will catch you then,
Osta pasta gott a murder. I gotta go.
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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