March 22, 2023 • 26 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental health podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today's episode, Jets' defensive lineman Solomon Thomas tells Jay what it’s like to go through free agency with anxiety, how he's using his platform to help others and explains why mental health is a personal priority for him after his family was devastated by suicide.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental
health podcast with Jay Glazer. And is my real honor
and pleasure to bring it a duty here who he
(00:22):
is a phenomenal football player, was one of the top
picks of the draft a couple of years ago. But
he's a better person because he's using his platform to
really help others and try and kick this door open
of mental health and the stigma around it. You guys
know how much I talk about it, and I need
more warriors like him to talk about it also. And
the faster we could all realize we're in the majority,
(00:43):
those of us who struggle with things we're not in
the minority, the more we're gonna be apt to turn
to our teammates and turn to our family members, diurnt
to anybody and start talking about it so we don't
have to suffer in silence with that. I'm gonna welcome in,
my dude, Solomon Thomas, how are you, brother? I'm good, Jay,
How are you doing it? Thanks? Right man? Absolutely, you're
in were you right now? You're in Philly. I'm in
Philly right now. Yes, sir, Yes, one of your buddy
(01:04):
exactly kind of Lane and I love it, dude. Yeah. Yeah.
Make make sure you when you are training with Lane,
say hey, I want to learn some of his wrestling
stuff you do with Glazer and then hold on, I've
a ride. No, I will hold on for a ride. Man.
He's a strong set of a bitch. Oh my, he's
a He's an animal. This is just a freak before
(01:25):
we get into it. Like your stories as Wild, you've
been through a lot, your your sister having committed suicide
and what you're doing about it now before we jump
into that as we talk here. For me with my
anxiety and depression, it always goes to the worst possible
scenario walk. When I've been in contract box, even when
I've resigned, I've been like, Nope, it's not gonna happen.
(01:47):
Fox is gonna sign it, and shit is I've been
there for twenty years. Take us inside of the mind
with somebody like you as anxiety and mental health issues
when you're living in the unknown a free agency definitely. Yeah.
So it's just part of the job that you understand
and is the always not knowing what's next, not knowing
where you're living. I know where you're playing for and
someone for me. I've been on one year deals, left
(02:08):
two years, so each after each year, pack up, kind
of go wherever come in and no mad and then
just kind of wait to hear like where I'm going next,
and like the process of it is. It builds. It
is because you don't focus on it kill. It happens
when march whatever hits and it's great. You start to
see all your friends inside or teammates can signed and
you're not sign or those thoughts are keeping in Okay, Hey,
(02:29):
like am I good enough? Hey? What's my value? Hey?
Where am I going to be? Hey? What's next? But
I'm starting to just build and build and builds. And
you have to bring yourself down to the present moment
of what I'm doing and whether I'm training, whether I'm
talking with you, whether I'm talking to my mom or dad,
watching the show, whatever. I can just be in the
moment and control what I can control. Because if I
just let the all the thoughts and all the unknown
just keeping roaming in my head, I'm just gonna build
(02:50):
myself down. I'm gonna just collapse, honestly. But but being
in this work and being the member work, I've known
how to combat this and I've learned how to how
to attack this. I wake up in the morning, I
feel anxious, so I don't know it's next, so I
take a cold shower to kind of deal with that,
and other things like our journal all the day to
make sure I can get out of my head or
other things. But like, being in this work has helped me.
But that's kind of what it's like for a player
(03:12):
like me who've gone on when year deal to one
year deal. You know, one of the things I try
to show peoples where are your anxiety and depression and
your add can actually be weapons and superpower. So if
you didn't have the anxiety, you wouldn't have these tools
to better handle living in question right now? Definitely, definitely,
And that's why I've loved and I've learned, Like so
now I try to I don't know, I don't call
them instincts, but I have these feelings and at base
(03:35):
decisions or cooking mechans and do off these feelings. But
I'm feeling sad or that I'm feeling anxious, whatever it is,
what I'm feeling angry, but now I have these outlets,
these tools I've learned through therapy, through other mental health
advocates or foundations, my own organizations, certain things I've learned
to deal with these emotions, dealt these feelings, so I
can still feel what I'm feeling, but be present and
(03:56):
be okay and be okay with however I'm feeling in
the moment. That's it's cool, Like there's two dudes like
us who can now talk openly about things and our
feelings and which we wouldn't have done a year ago,
two years ago, three years ago. Right, It's it's great
to have this now where you don't have to just
put on that mask. Definitely. Yeah, this ship doesn't bother me.
Fucking that bothers us. Yeah, I mean, I mean we're
(04:17):
just human like, and we're going through different things like
you're going through things. I'm going through things, and we're
feeling certain emotions because of it. And it's not weird.
We're not weird or alone or awkward or or whatever.
Just because we feel anxiety and depression as a man,
or we feel sadness and anger as a man like.
These are normal feelings but human experience, but as man,
we just normally block them off and we don't feel them.
(04:37):
We're like, okay, diagnos, Oh no, I'm a man. I
can't feel that, or anger, like, oh that's good for
a man, but I'm using a bad way, or like
all these other feelings, like we've been touched to block
them off and push them down. But when we do that,
we just build and build and build bad stuff. And
when that explodes, that's when bad and side things happen. Yeah,
for me, when I would live in question, I would
(04:59):
tend to sun but hodge things because I would think that, hey,
the worst possible scenario is gonna happen, so I would
make the worst possible scenarios happen faster because the pain
of living in question was too much for me, which
is obviously not the healthiest thing. And now I understand it.
And like even my girl said to me that they're
like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm not going anywhere.
You don't have to push me away. This is yeah,
(05:20):
we're good, right, So it's a it's a tough place
to be between your ears when you think you deserve
for the worst possible thing to happen. So you're going
to speed up the process. Overcoming that was was big
for me. Yeah, no, I mean, and like you said,
our thoughts matter and what we think matters, and if
you just believe in and let our folks come down there,
it can lead to hard places. But as the more
(05:41):
we understand it, can be aware of it, and can
have actually plan to you know, cope with that and
fix that, the more we'll be straight. So now you're
doing a lot of work with mental health. Tell the
world why you went through something very traumatic a few
years ago, Yes, sir, Yeah, so back in ten eighteen,
I lost my basis eligus to was and completely you know,
(06:02):
didn't know much about my mental health, didn't know much
about suicide. You heard about it, You're like, oh, that's sad,
but until it hits you, it is a pain that
I wish on nobody and I hate for anybody to
feel the pain that my sister one, that me and
my family go there from losing my sister, but just
through my families were upside down. We didn't know much
about mental health. We're throwing the word of mental health
and people don't talk about it. People are talking about suicide.
(06:24):
People aren't talking about why Ella died. People just talking
about Ella's dead, and we're sorry for the Thomas family.
You know, we were very blessed to have, you know,
some great foundations around us to keep keep us on
our feet around the time after Ella died and keep
us going. But like if something that I didn't talk about,
like I was feeling. I was so angry at the world.
I was angry that my sisters not here. I was depressed,
(06:45):
like didn't know how to deal with grief, you know,
how to walk with it. Was just trying to be
strong for my parents and just kept pushing all emotions
or anything I felt down. And I just kept building
this this big, dark kind of like shadow like down
in my stomach. And the more I built it, the
more it just kept growing. You know. I even did
like a couple of speaking things where like I'm not speaking.
I wrote an article with my night for ESPN, and
(07:06):
we talked about Ella's story, and I got this outreach
of so many people having similar stories about like feeling
Ella's pain or or understanding my pain. And I didn't
realize how big of a problem mental health was in
this world, and so like that just kind of opened
my eyes some mental health, but still I was doing
the same thing I was. I was pushing down my
own depression, anxiety and whatever I was feeling in it.
(07:28):
It got so bad. I got to a point where
I didn't want to be here like you know, I
couldn't feel happy, I couldn't feel a side, I couldn't
feel anything like life just felt dull. Didn't care about
waking up, didn't care about going to sleep. And you know,
I was very very fortunately approached by my general manager
of the time and he told me to hey, thought,
I got your back. It can need help. And after
that I went home and I thought about I was like, dude,
what am I doing? Like I legit, don't want to
(07:51):
be here, I don't like life. I need help. And
next day I told John, Hey, John, like I really
would appreciate some help. I'm struggling right now. Far going
to therapy that things change change for me. And therapy
wasn't easy it. This wasn't like a snap like that.
It was so different. You go, you go to John Lynch,
did you ever, Yes, sir, yeah, I was at the
forty nine with time. This is back in twos eighteen,
and that's brave. Of you though, Man, that's greave. Yeah,
(08:14):
I mean, But the thing is like he approached me first,
and that's what really gave me the space to open
up and to talk and really think about it. Um,
if he didn't do that, I don't know what I
would have done. I don't know if I would have
gotten help. I don't know where my life would have gone.
But him giving me the permission to get help really
change the subjective of everything. But like what I try
to tell people with this though, is that you don't
(08:35):
need permission to get help. Help is good. Help is
a good thing. Help is a sign of courage and
strength getting help. It takes so much more strength to
get help than to just sit back and not say anything.
When I was going through my depression to my suicide
of thoughts, I was everyone would they would ask me
what I was doing, like how I was doing. I
would just say I'm good, like I'm going fine, But
deep down inside I was. I was dying inside. But
(08:57):
therapy really helped change a lot of that for me.
Helped me see my feeling, understand our feelings, helping defense
okay not to be okay. I learned how to be
sad and have a good day. I learned how to
cry and have a good day. I learned, you know
a lot of certain things that kind of helped me
just move on with life and understand films and emotions.
But you know, from that, you know, my family understand
how bigger problem I was in this world. And we
started the foundation called the Defensive Line, where our mission
(09:19):
is to end epidemic of you Sue side, especially on
people of color, by transforming the way we connect and
communicate over mental health. And you know I deal with
that was to go talk to the mentors and schools
and sports programs and businesses and just making sure we
equipment with the language of mental health, making sure they
can talk about it, making sure they can create the
same environment with their classrooms, businesses, sports locker rooms, how
they can you know, just look for warning signs, how
(09:42):
they can make sure they find the resources in the area.
And so we're just doing that and being able to
work with some great programs businesses like MGMM, Standing University,
Bill University. But we're just trying to do everything we
can to stop you sus having stop the feelside on earth.
But that's my story with mental health. But it's it's
been a journey and I'm learning every day. I'm growing
every day. Um, and I appreciate people like you. We're
having these conversations, well we're you can really teach people
(10:05):
a lot is you know, when your sister committed suicide?
What what she left them behind? When I when I
I deal with a lot of vets and a lot
of players, and we started charity called MVP Emerging Vets
and Players where I put the two together in transition
to kind of help them have a new team again.
And you know, I always tell them. You know, when
someone commits suicide and the whole room is crying, I'm like, whoever,
(10:25):
and here's tempted suicide? Yeah you think you're your brother
here or your sister is just committed suicide, is looking
down on us seeing everyone cry, going yes, look what
I did? Or you think she's up there like, oh no,
what did I do it? I didn't mean to leave
that carnage behind, right what you getting the call and
you know, just kind of take me through that of
(10:46):
what that was like, man, because I I've had people
think their lives, but not my sister. Man, worse worse,
worst phone called my life the dad called me, Um.
You know, as of training back in Dallas after rookie year,
I got to come from my mom earned in the
morning the heavy heard from Ella, like, no, I haven't
heard from Ella. UM. And you know where the signs beforehand? Yeah,
(11:08):
I mean, so my sister's story. So she she started,
she was diagnosed with depression anxiety, and my parents like
got her help throughout her life. What it was, whether
it was therapy, medicine, whatever it was. UM. Ella was
was was different than the people. Ella was very open,
like she was like kind of how you and I
were being right now, were being vulnerable, were being transparent.
She if someone outs that I was feeling she was
(11:29):
ahead of her time, she'd be like, hey, I'm feeling
pretty anxious today. And that would scare people back in
that day, like people to know how to handle that,
people know how to address that. UM. And that kind
of pushed La away and made her kind of like
kind of be less less of her true authentic self.
And Ella suffered a traumatic event in Arkansas UM her
sophomore year, the cost of her drop out UM, and
(11:50):
then after that, these things kept getting worse and worse,
whether it was who she was hanging out with. Whether
it was her talking to us, giving away you know,
certain belongings, or they're just signs that they definitely let up.
But we saw them, we knew them, and we wanted
to help Ella. And I was always we were always
just trying to be like, hey Ella, we love you,
we want you here, and moved our home all this stuff. Um.
We had a great Christmas, one of our best vices
(12:12):
as a family, you know, and in San frand my
rookie year. Then I get home in January and it's
like everything's dark, Like I can't connect with her. Um,
I can tell she's struggling. The night before she died
by suicide, we made plans to go see her work
and have it and have a great day. The next day,
like we had plans and we had things we were
going to do. Wake up in the morning, my mom
asked me, like, have you heard from Ella? No? What
(12:33):
text her? Don't hear anything back? Um. You know. My
mom was like, all right, I'm getting worried. She's got
a new school. Um. And then you know, I got
a call for my dad and I'm just worried. I'm
like I've been talking to my mom like why is
my dad called me? And he calls me and uh yeah,
he just tells me like, hey, Ella died and it
just drops the four crying Ella's dogs all over me,
(12:54):
just like worried and push him away, you know. And
then but the mostment like it's just like what what
is life? What is real? Like? What how is this happening?
How is my sister not here? How do I savor?
All the feelings? The guilt, its stydus to anger, the confusion,
the depression, all that just hits all at once and
true the worst feeling of ever felt in my life. Look,
(13:14):
you should feel no guilt because it's on whoever it
commits the act. Right and again, this is what we
leave behind when someone does it. And you know we
obviously they're getting they're in a different place, but you
leave all this this card, it's behind for everybody to
deal with. I'm I'm trying to villainize suicide, trying to
do as much as I can, because I think right now,
especially with social media making us all think our lives suck.
(13:35):
When someone takes their lives, everybody's looking at that person.
It's outpouring a love and we all start going well, shit,
my life sucks right now. Everybody loves Johnny. I want
that kind of love, and I think that's kind of
led to the epidemic a little bit. Instead of seeing
the raw motion that you're showing out there right now,
this is really what it is. Yeah, I mean, just
you know this. It's a hard, hard film that I
(13:56):
wish on nobody. Like it really sucks and hurts because
like Ella was in so much pain, she felt like
she needed to do this, She felt like it wasn't
going to get better. She felt like she just was
going to feel this for the rest of her life.
And she follows n be easier just to end it
than to keep going. And that's what people don't understand,
Like when people die by suicide is that they didn't
(14:17):
end it because of you, didn't them because this. They
ended because there was so much pain that they couldn't
keep going. And what we're trying to do is to
let people know that this pain is. Yes, she might
continue to feel it, but there's gonna be ways to
manage it and deal with it and if it to
get better, and there's hoping it and there's light in
this tunnel. They of darkness that you're going through and
just just trying to preach the smashes and keep this
smatches going because like we need people here. These are
(14:39):
great people who need to keep living um and I
feel like suicide the most is the most preventable death
and trying to find every way possible to prevent it
for anyone to going through anything. Man, that's a lot
for you to go through. Brother, I mean, that's that's
a lot of trauma for you go through. How healed
would you say you are at this point? I'm healing.
(15:00):
I'm not healed. I'm I'm forever healing. Like it's like
I did an event last week actually with Dak Prescott,
he actually lost his brother's suicide in twenty twenty. You know, yeah,
you know, you know we were asked a question like,
you know, does grief ever get easier? And like we
both answered them. We were like, no, one, grief does
not get easier. Like and it's just feeling like I
(15:21):
forever have like a whole in my heart, like I'll
keep living, I'll be okay, but my heart will never
be one hundred percent because I always have this part
of my heart that's missing an flow. But you know,
I'm healing each day by learning how to live for her,
learning how to attack mental health, learning how to tack suicide,
being my true authentic self and taking the things I
learned from mental health and applying to my life every
day and trying to be a leader in this realm,
(15:42):
trying to be a leader in the locker room, trying
to be the best person I can. But it's probably
on a perspective that I hadn't felt before that like
you know, hey, like so like I've had people died
my life before, but losing his sister was as different.
But folk up every single day and ounce or the
people have these vulnerable conversations with someone on the sidable talk,
be be real with them, let them know how you're doing.
(16:02):
Like these are the conversation that saved lives. Like the
most times, the most powerful conversations I've had it are
with people who have shared pain. But we didn't know
we shared the pain until we started talking. But to
that one one second, one risk of hope and one
I mean a risk of vulnerability to get to that conversation.
But that conversation might have saved either going to live
(16:23):
now that they're gonna go have a conversation or You're
gonna have a conversation, or I'm gonna have a conversation
with someone like this, It's very powerful. The more I've
opened up to people, it has got me closer to
every single one of those people I've gotten that I've
opened up to. And I hit it. I hit it
for a long time. I hit it for fifty one years.
You know, it used to be Glazers crazy, which is
a badge of honor and fighting in football, but they
(16:43):
didn't have much pain that was in right, and that
pain has now gotten a flock closer. I want people
really understand exactly the message you're putting out there. The
more you open up, it's not gonna push people away,
It's just gonna draw us closer together. It is, it is,
And you never know what someone's going through. You never
know the battles are going through in this life. We're
kind of taught like and this is what we're trying
to change, Like you and I liked, we're taught that,
(17:05):
you know, to put your baggage or your feelings like
someone else as a burden or we shouldn't do that.
But in reality, we're all probably going through more similar
things than we think we are. M Like, we're probably like,
especially as man like, we're probably feeling more sad than
we really saying we are, or more or more like.
This is kind of unknown because we don't have never
been taught how to handle certain emotions that we're feeling
(17:25):
in the day to day life as we get older, Like,
but when we open up and talk about them, we
can connect there and then we can build off that
and understand like, hey, Okay, no I'm not crazy, No
I'm not. We know he's feeling it too, and we
can have this conversation that we should all be having
some beings well, especially the goals with athletes. For anybody
who's high high performing a job wherever it is, you
(17:47):
gotta be fucked up going in, Right, we gotta have
some crazy to get on a certain level. Right, But
what do we do with that beast all of a sudden? Right,
So we gotta have it to get to where we are,
and then we gotta we gotta learn how to tain it,
live with it, and use it to an advantage, which
you're now we're just starting to talk about. Yeah, I mean,
because we can't be that that fucked up person all
the time. I can't. I can't be Solomon Thomast on
(18:07):
the field all the field, or you'll see my name
at the ticker at the bottom of the of the stream. Like,
we have to learn how to channel and control our emotions.
And that's why I feel like therapy is so important,
or learning about mental health or learning this about yourself
and your own feelings is so important so you can
control that and find ways to come back a center
if your emotions high and or lower or I think
(18:30):
that's why these conversations and therapy and being able to
compartmentalize your feelings are so important, especially the work we're doing.
It's we're still we're probably still decuate away from really
getting huge change because it's like people ask me all
the time, now, I need some help. We're gonna do
and I tell them all the time, Okay, first of all,
go get a therapist now, and yeah, ninety five percent
(18:51):
of those people go, oh, I can't, I can't afford,
I can't do or no, and I'm like, no, they're coaches.
They're coaches, you know, just like we would get a
coach for anything else. You know, we we think about it.
If you break your arm used to get people to
sign your cast, right, but if our hearts, our brains
are we hide it. It doesn't make sense, right, we
got to flip this back and flip this script. But
the therapists the best thing we could do, and so
(19:14):
many people are still let's that's why these conversations so important,
so important, and like you said, like if I tore
my acl, I'm going to a surgeon or orthopedic surgeon.
It's like saying with your heart or your brain. Like
there's coaches out there forests and their their therapists, life coaches, psychologists,
whatever it is like, there's people out there forest because
you know there's between the mental health and physical health
(19:36):
is not much different. The body goes one on one. Um.
You know, if my brains hurted, my bodies man, my
body hurts, it's going to tell my brain something. So
it's important to take care of your brain gets as
much a take care of your body, like you know.
And more I've gone on with this workout, I figured
out more and how it relates to sports and how
it's helped me get better at sports. How I can
completely find a way to be clear and peaceful up here.
(19:57):
My body moves faster and more fluid. Um. You know,
it's it's just sinking quicker. Like people don't understand that.
But the science of the body goes one on one.
So I like to try to call it the whole
health instead of this mental physical because then we can
understand it all goes together. I love that, I really
love and it's look for football players to NFL players.
The difference between somebody who plays in the NFL and doesn't.
(20:19):
I think it's all between the ears and then a
lot there's a lot of people out there benafest stronger
than you who haven't made between our ears, right, But
it's you know, I talk to these teams like, oh,
you guys, don't just run forties when you think you
get slow, Like you're not just lifting when you think
that all of a sudden, you're you know, your your
push isn'to strong, right, You're constantly doing it. You're being proactive.
But we only seek out help therapists after the sky
(20:40):
has fallen. Yeah, it's too late, right, So we need
to start doing that just as strong as we do
the physical stuff. Yeah, Like therapy should be should be
pro have, not read like we're not taught how to
deal with all the emotions of life. Like you know,
it's just life is a lot, Like there's a lot
of stuff that goes on for certain people, a lot
of adversities, a lot of ups and downs, and we're
not taught like an elementary school, middle high school. We're
(21:00):
not taught how to go through this Like I learned
most of it through sports, but then there was a
lot that I was still missing. I still need to
go to therapy to learn how to deal with emotions
and handle certain pains, handle certain things I had never
even felt before. But that's why I think, you know,
therapy is just so great because it's literally a life
coach teaching. It's how to deal with emotions that we
are never taught before. When since you've come out, one
(21:21):
of the things I talked a lot about a lot
of being of service. I think of service is one
of my pillars to get me through my gray Have
you been able to see how much you've been of
service now? Like have you noticed like the number of
people you've helped, or you know, the people have come
over to you thanking you, like, oh, thanks for making
this okay? And has not been able to lift you up. Yeah,
you know I was. Actually I was with a for
(21:41):
another day. You're in DC, and you know she was
she was talking about you know, NFL players talking about
mental health, and you know, she said that that's a
reason because of you. And I originally like, no, like
you know, I'm just you know, just talking doing my thing.
But she was like no, like you need to take
that credit, like you deserve that. And I started without
a lot for a while because I'm like, I'm like,
I'm just doing work. I'm just telling my story, telling
my sister story, having my foundation that moving on. But
(22:05):
like I've really the last four years of my life,
I put all my dark secrets out bad, put all
my vulnerability out there. And I try to do it
because I know people out there struggling. I know there's
guys in the locker room we're hurting worse than I am,
and I want to find ways to get them to talk.
I want to find ways to help them out. And
it's changed, Like in the locker room guys that we
talk about mental health. Now we talk about finding ways
(22:26):
for therapy, even if they don't want to go to therapist,
finding someone to talk to a sports like card or
something like Dad Prescott speaking out you got you know,
you got some of the biggest names in sports talk
about mental health now like it is such like I
mean we've really changed, like what's going on here? And
then you know, I just think it's the beginning and
I think, you know, people, we're letting people be human,
and I think we need to continue to do that.
(22:46):
But you need to love yourself up for it. Yeah, absolutely,
and that's hard for us. I'll know screenshot messages someone
that says, man, thank you, you said my life for you,
empowerment you lived to me. And when I'm up like bravest,
I'll go back to those and say, Okay, Jay, you're
not such a piece of shit, Like look at what
you're doing and it's it's it's something I'm learning how
(23:07):
to learn how to love myself up right. And you also, man,
you really gotta you deserve to love yourself up for this. Man,
I appreciate that, Jay, and so do you. And I'm
gonna steal that from you because those messages mean a lot.
And I've gotten a lot of fan mail, emails, dms
whatever it is telling me like what my sister's story
has done, What my story has done. And and like
(23:28):
you said, we des are going to love ourselves and
so do you. And I'm proud of you and everything
you've done. Appreciate you, and think about this. There's the
messages we get. Think about the messages we don't get.
How many people I think you've helped out, people that
you saved. There are people out there who've paid it
forward to others, and you just, yeah, you don't know
how many people you're gonna end up saving that. But
we say, if it's one, that's a great life for you.
And it's been a lot more than one for you.
(23:50):
I'm really really proud of you. Brother. I'm proud of
you too because I know it's been way more than
one too. No, I appreciate that. Man, give us one
one last thing here on your on your foundation where
people can find help with it, and let's let's bump
it out there a little bit more. Yea, So definitely. Yeah.
So foundations called the Defensive Line. You can find us
at the Defensive Line dot Org going around trying to help,
(24:12):
you know, like really focusing in school with businesses and
sports programs, really just trying to create safe mental environments,
teach everyone, how to look for warning signs, how to
deal with christ situations, how to have an action plan.
Really just trying to get them awareness and education out
there so we can deal with these things. These are
things we're not taught, you know. And my big motivation
it was of getting to the mentors was because when
(24:33):
I when I was at school in high school, all day,
I wasn't around my parents. I was around my friend,
I was around my teachers, so they saw my behavior changes.
At home, I was just I was fried. So I
was just like, I'm burnt out for the day. I
It's gonna play with a new games, do a home,
or go to sleep. My parents that see that. So
we're trying to teach everyone to be able to be
a safe place for everyone around and so we can
create this environment where everyone can just be themselves. I
(24:56):
love that, man, It's that's the thing. To give us
a safe place is that's a new thing for all
of us. And that's beautiful, beautiful. I appreciate ja. Last
question here, give me your unbreakable moment. And what I
mean by that is, man, something that could and you
might have already talked about it, something that could have
broken you and didn't, and you came through the other
side of that tunnel. As a result, you're stronger for it,
(25:17):
and you could use that as your currency for the
rest of your life. My unbreakable momentum, I would say, Um,
I've already said it. I mean, losing my sisters was
definitely my unbreakable I was going to use turn my
icy out. But I mean, really, I really could have
gone one of two ways after losing Ella. I could
have gone down and been down forever. But you know,
I really, I really have just bought into this work.
(25:38):
I've really seen how it affects our people in this road.
I cannot affect myself and people like myself in this league.
We needed. We have so much work to do, and
you know, it's just that was my moment work really
was like, hey, like I need to break I'm going
to break through this. And once I saw and broke
through it, like I was like, Wow, there's a lot
of work through. There's a lot more unbreakable moments coming
up for a lot of people. So that was kind
(26:00):
on my mom and I love it. Man, dude, I'm Friday. Hey,
we're brothers and soul now, Man, Yes, I have a
lot of work to do together. Man, I'm gonna make
sure we get each other's number, and you know, definitely
you got a teammate you can turn to when those
roommates are we're starting to bark to you, man, I'll
do the same with you, yes, sir, Yeah, No, I'm
here for you as well. Jay. I appreciate that. Friday Brother,
thank you so much. But I'm really proud of work
(26:20):
you're doing again. Start loving yourself out, man, try to
walk this walk together. Yes, sir, me too. I appreciate it. Jay,
thank you for the platform, Sally, you got, buddy,
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental
health podcast with Jay Glazer. And is my real honor
and pleasure to bring it a duty here who he
(00:22):
is a phenomenal football player, was one of the top
picks of the draft a couple of years ago. But
he's a better person because he's using his platform to
really help others and try and kick this door open
of mental health and the stigma around it. You guys
know how much I talk about it, and I need
more warriors like him to talk about it also. And
the faster we could all realize we're in the majority,
(00:43):
those of us who struggle with things we're not in
the minority, the more we're gonna be apt to turn
to our teammates and turn to our family members, diurnt
to anybody and start talking about it so we don't
have to suffer in silence with that. I'm gonna welcome in,
my dude, Solomon Thomas, how are you, brother? I'm good, Jay,
How are you doing it? Thanks? Right man? Absolutely, you're
in were you right now? You're in Philly. I'm in
Philly right now. Yes, sir, Yes, one of your buddy
(01:04):
exactly kind of Lane and I love it, dude. Yeah. Yeah.
Make make sure you when you are training with Lane,
say hey, I want to learn some of his wrestling
stuff you do with Glazer and then hold on, I've
a ride. No, I will hold on for a ride. Man.
He's a strong set of a bitch. Oh my, he's
a He's an animal. This is just a freak before
(01:25):
we get into it. Like your stories as Wild, you've
been through a lot, your your sister having committed suicide
and what you're doing about it now before we jump
into that as we talk here. For me with my
anxiety and depression, it always goes to the worst possible
scenario walk. When I've been in contract box, even when
I've resigned, I've been like, Nope, it's not gonna happen.
(01:47):
Fox is gonna sign it, and shit is I've been
there for twenty years. Take us inside of the mind
with somebody like you as anxiety and mental health issues
when you're living in the unknown a free agency definitely. Yeah.
So it's just part of the job that you understand
and is the always not knowing what's next, not knowing
where you're living. I know where you're playing for and
someone for me. I've been on one year deals, left
(02:08):
two years, so each after each year, pack up, kind
of go wherever come in and no mad and then
just kind of wait to hear like where I'm going next,
and like the process of it is. It builds. It
is because you don't focus on it kill. It happens
when march whatever hits and it's great. You start to
see all your friends inside or teammates can signed and
you're not sign or those thoughts are keeping in Okay, Hey,
(02:29):
like am I good enough? Hey? What's my value? Hey?
Where am I going to be? Hey? What's next? But
I'm starting to just build and build and builds. And
you have to bring yourself down to the present moment
of what I'm doing and whether I'm training, whether I'm
talking with you, whether I'm talking to my mom or dad,
watching the show, whatever. I can just be in the
moment and control what I can control. Because if I
just let the all the thoughts and all the unknown
just keeping roaming in my head, I'm just gonna build
(02:50):
myself down. I'm gonna just collapse, honestly. But but being
in this work and being the member work, I've known
how to combat this and I've learned how to how
to attack this. I wake up in the morning, I
feel anxious, so I don't know it's next, so I
take a cold shower to kind of deal with that,
and other things like our journal all the day to
make sure I can get out of my head or
other things. But like, being in this work has helped me.
But that's kind of what it's like for a player
(03:12):
like me who've gone on when year deal to one
year deal. You know, one of the things I try
to show peoples where are your anxiety and depression and
your add can actually be weapons and superpower. So if
you didn't have the anxiety, you wouldn't have these tools
to better handle living in question right now? Definitely, definitely,
And that's why I've loved and I've learned, Like so
now I try to I don't know, I don't call
them instincts, but I have these feelings and at base
(03:35):
decisions or cooking mechans and do off these feelings. But
I'm feeling sad or that I'm feeling anxious, whatever it is,
what I'm feeling angry, but now I have these outlets,
these tools I've learned through therapy, through other mental health
advocates or foundations, my own organizations, certain things I've learned
to deal with these emotions, dealt these feelings, so I
can still feel what I'm feeling, but be present and
(03:56):
be okay and be okay with however I'm feeling in
the moment. That's it's cool, Like there's two dudes like
us who can now talk openly about things and our
feelings and which we wouldn't have done a year ago,
two years ago, three years ago. Right, It's it's great
to have this now where you don't have to just
put on that mask. Definitely. Yeah, this ship doesn't bother me.
Fucking that bothers us. Yeah, I mean, I mean we're
(04:17):
just human like, and we're going through different things like
you're going through things. I'm going through things, and we're
feeling certain emotions because of it. And it's not weird.
We're not weird or alone or awkward or or whatever.
Just because we feel anxiety and depression as a man,
or we feel sadness and anger as a man like.
These are normal feelings but human experience, but as man,
we just normally block them off and we don't feel them.
(04:37):
We're like, okay, diagnos, Oh no, I'm a man. I
can't feel that, or anger, like, oh that's good for
a man, but I'm using a bad way, or like
all these other feelings, like we've been touched to block
them off and push them down. But when we do that,
we just build and build and build bad stuff. And
when that explodes, that's when bad and side things happen. Yeah,
for me, when I would live in question, I would
(04:59):
tend to sun but hodge things because I would think that, hey,
the worst possible scenario is gonna happen, so I would
make the worst possible scenarios happen faster because the pain
of living in question was too much for me, which
is obviously not the healthiest thing. And now I understand it.
And like even my girl said to me that they're
like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm not going anywhere.
You don't have to push me away. This is yeah,
(05:20):
we're good, right, So it's a it's a tough place
to be between your ears when you think you deserve
for the worst possible thing to happen. So you're going
to speed up the process. Overcoming that was was big
for me. Yeah, no, I mean, and like you said,
our thoughts matter and what we think matters, and if
you just believe in and let our folks come down there,
it can lead to hard places. But as the more
(05:41):
we understand it, can be aware of it, and can
have actually plan to you know, cope with that and
fix that, the more we'll be straight. So now you're
doing a lot of work with mental health. Tell the
world why you went through something very traumatic a few
years ago, Yes, sir, Yeah, so back in ten eighteen,
I lost my basis eligus to was and completely you know,
(06:02):
didn't know much about my mental health, didn't know much
about suicide. You heard about it, You're like, oh, that's sad,
but until it hits you, it is a pain that
I wish on nobody and I hate for anybody to
feel the pain that my sister one, that me and
my family go there from losing my sister, but just
through my families were upside down. We didn't know much
about mental health. We're throwing the word of mental health
and people don't talk about it. People are talking about suicide.
(06:24):
People aren't talking about why Ella died. People just talking
about Ella's dead, and we're sorry for the Thomas family.
You know, we were very blessed to have, you know,
some great foundations around us to keep keep us on
our feet around the time after Ella died and keep
us going. But like if something that I didn't talk about,
like I was feeling. I was so angry at the world.
I was angry that my sisters not here. I was depressed,
(06:45):
like didn't know how to deal with grief, you know,
how to walk with it. Was just trying to be
strong for my parents and just kept pushing all emotions
or anything I felt down. And I just kept building
this this big, dark kind of like shadow like down
in my stomach. And the more I built it, the
more it just kept growing. You know. I even did
like a couple of speaking things where like I'm not speaking.
I wrote an article with my night for ESPN, and
(07:06):
we talked about Ella's story, and I got this outreach
of so many people having similar stories about like feeling
Ella's pain or or understanding my pain. And I didn't
realize how big of a problem mental health was in
this world, and so like that just kind of opened
my eyes some mental health, but still I was doing
the same thing I was. I was pushing down my
own depression, anxiety and whatever I was feeling in it.
(07:28):
It got so bad. I got to a point where
I didn't want to be here like you know, I
couldn't feel happy, I couldn't feel a side, I couldn't
feel anything like life just felt dull. Didn't care about
waking up, didn't care about going to sleep. And you know,
I was very very fortunately approached by my general manager
of the time and he told me to hey, thought,
I got your back. It can need help. And after
that I went home and I thought about I was like, dude,
what am I doing? Like I legit, don't want to
(07:51):
be here, I don't like life. I need help. And
next day I told John, Hey, John, like I really
would appreciate some help. I'm struggling right now. Far going
to therapy that things change change for me. And therapy
wasn't easy it. This wasn't like a snap like that.
It was so different. You go, you go to John Lynch,
did you ever, Yes, sir, yeah, I was at the
forty nine with time. This is back in twos eighteen,
and that's brave. Of you though, Man, that's greave. Yeah,
(08:14):
I mean, But the thing is like he approached me first,
and that's what really gave me the space to open
up and to talk and really think about it. Um,
if he didn't do that, I don't know what I
would have done. I don't know if I would have
gotten help. I don't know where my life would have gone.
But him giving me the permission to get help really
change the subjective of everything. But like what I try
to tell people with this though, is that you don't
(08:35):
need permission to get help. Help is good. Help is
a good thing. Help is a sign of courage and
strength getting help. It takes so much more strength to
get help than to just sit back and not say anything.
When I was going through my depression to my suicide
of thoughts, I was everyone would they would ask me
what I was doing, like how I was doing. I
would just say I'm good, like I'm going fine, But
deep down inside I was. I was dying inside. But
(08:57):
therapy really helped change a lot of that for me.
Helped me see my feeling, understand our feelings, helping defense
okay not to be okay. I learned how to be
sad and have a good day. I learned how to
cry and have a good day. I learned, you know
a lot of certain things that kind of helped me
just move on with life and understand films and emotions.
But you know, from that, you know, my family understand
how bigger problem I was in this world. And we
started the foundation called the Defensive Line, where our mission
(09:19):
is to end epidemic of you Sue side, especially on
people of color, by transforming the way we connect and
communicate over mental health. And you know I deal with
that was to go talk to the mentors and schools
and sports programs and businesses and just making sure we
equipment with the language of mental health, making sure they
can talk about it, making sure they can create the
same environment with their classrooms, businesses, sports locker rooms, how
they can you know, just look for warning signs, how
(09:42):
they can make sure they find the resources in the area.
And so we're just doing that and being able to
work with some great programs businesses like MGMM, Standing University,
Bill University. But we're just trying to do everything we
can to stop you sus having stop the feelside on earth.
But that's my story with mental health. But it's it's
been a journey and I'm learning every day. I'm growing
every day. Um, and I appreciate people like you. We're
having these conversations, well we're you can really teach people
(10:05):
a lot is you know, when your sister committed suicide?
What what she left them behind? When I when I
I deal with a lot of vets and a lot
of players, and we started charity called MVP Emerging Vets
and Players where I put the two together in transition
to kind of help them have a new team again.
And you know, I always tell them. You know, when
someone commits suicide and the whole room is crying, I'm like, whoever,
(10:25):
and here's tempted suicide? Yeah you think you're your brother
here or your sister is just committed suicide, is looking
down on us seeing everyone cry, going yes, look what
I did? Or you think she's up there like, oh no,
what did I do it? I didn't mean to leave
that carnage behind, right what you getting the call and
you know, just kind of take me through that of
(10:46):
what that was like, man, because I I've had people
think their lives, but not my sister. Man, worse worse,
worst phone called my life the dad called me, Um.
You know, as of training back in Dallas after rookie year,
I got to come from my mom earned in the
morning the heavy heard from Ella, like, no, I haven't
heard from Ella. UM. And you know where the signs beforehand? Yeah,
(11:08):
I mean, so my sister's story. So she she started,
she was diagnosed with depression anxiety, and my parents like
got her help throughout her life. What it was, whether
it was therapy, medicine, whatever it was. UM. Ella was
was was different than the people. Ella was very open,
like she was like kind of how you and I
were being right now, were being vulnerable, were being transparent.
She if someone outs that I was feeling she was
(11:29):
ahead of her time, she'd be like, hey, I'm feeling
pretty anxious today. And that would scare people back in
that day, like people to know how to handle that,
people know how to address that. UM. And that kind
of pushed La away and made her kind of like
kind of be less less of her true authentic self.
And Ella suffered a traumatic event in Arkansas UM her
sophomore year, the cost of her drop out UM, and
(11:50):
then after that, these things kept getting worse and worse,
whether it was who she was hanging out with. Whether
it was her talking to us, giving away you know,
certain belongings, or they're just signs that they definitely let up.
But we saw them, we knew them, and we wanted
to help Ella. And I was always we were always
just trying to be like, hey Ella, we love you,
we want you here, and moved our home all this stuff. Um.
We had a great Christmas, one of our best vices
(12:12):
as a family, you know, and in San frand my
rookie year. Then I get home in January and it's
like everything's dark, Like I can't connect with her. Um,
I can tell she's struggling. The night before she died
by suicide, we made plans to go see her work
and have it and have a great day. The next day,
like we had plans and we had things we were
going to do. Wake up in the morning, my mom
asked me, like, have you heard from Ella? No? What
(12:33):
text her? Don't hear anything back? Um. You know. My
mom was like, all right, I'm getting worried. She's got
a new school. Um. And then you know, I got
a call for my dad and I'm just worried. I'm
like I've been talking to my mom like why is
my dad called me? And he calls me and uh yeah,
he just tells me like, hey, Ella died and it
just drops the four crying Ella's dogs all over me,
(12:54):
just like worried and push him away, you know. And
then but the mostment like it's just like what what
is life? What is real? Like? What how is this happening?
How is my sister not here? How do I savor?
All the feelings? The guilt, its stydus to anger, the confusion,
the depression, all that just hits all at once and
true the worst feeling of ever felt in my life. Look,
(13:14):
you should feel no guilt because it's on whoever it
commits the act. Right and again, this is what we
leave behind when someone does it. And you know we
obviously they're getting they're in a different place, but you
leave all this this card, it's behind for everybody to
deal with. I'm I'm trying to villainize suicide, trying to
do as much as I can, because I think right now,
especially with social media making us all think our lives suck.
(13:35):
When someone takes their lives, everybody's looking at that person.
It's outpouring a love and we all start going well, shit,
my life sucks right now. Everybody loves Johnny. I want
that kind of love, and I think that's kind of
led to the epidemic a little bit. Instead of seeing
the raw motion that you're showing out there right now,
this is really what it is. Yeah, I mean, just
you know this. It's a hard, hard film that I
(13:56):
wish on nobody. Like it really sucks and hurts because
like Ella was in so much pain, she felt like
she needed to do this, She felt like it wasn't
going to get better. She felt like she just was
going to feel this for the rest of her life.
And she follows n be easier just to end it
than to keep going. And that's what people don't understand,
Like when people die by suicide is that they didn't
(14:17):
end it because of you, didn't them because this. They
ended because there was so much pain that they couldn't
keep going. And what we're trying to do is to
let people know that this pain is. Yes, she might
continue to feel it, but there's gonna be ways to
manage it and deal with it and if it to
get better, and there's hoping it and there's light in
this tunnel. They of darkness that you're going through and
just just trying to preach the smashes and keep this
smatches going because like we need people here. These are
(14:39):
great people who need to keep living um and I
feel like suicide the most is the most preventable death
and trying to find every way possible to prevent it
for anyone to going through anything. Man, that's a lot
for you to go through. Brother, I mean, that's that's
a lot of trauma for you go through. How healed
would you say you are at this point? I'm healing.
(15:00):
I'm not healed. I'm I'm forever healing. Like it's like
I did an event last week actually with Dak Prescott,
he actually lost his brother's suicide in twenty twenty. You know, yeah,
you know, you know we were asked a question like,
you know, does grief ever get easier? And like we
both answered them. We were like, no, one, grief does
not get easier. Like and it's just feeling like I
(15:21):
forever have like a whole in my heart, like I'll
keep living, I'll be okay, but my heart will never
be one hundred percent because I always have this part
of my heart that's missing an flow. But you know,
I'm healing each day by learning how to live for her,
learning how to attack mental health, learning how to tack suicide,
being my true authentic self and taking the things I
learned from mental health and applying to my life every
day and trying to be a leader in this realm,
(15:42):
trying to be a leader in the locker room, trying
to be the best person I can. But it's probably
on a perspective that I hadn't felt before that like
you know, hey, like so like I've had people died
my life before, but losing his sister was as different.
But folk up every single day and ounce or the
people have these vulnerable conversations with someone on the sidable talk,
be be real with them, let them know how you're doing.
(16:02):
Like these are the conversation that saved lives. Like the
most times, the most powerful conversations I've had it are
with people who have shared pain. But we didn't know
we shared the pain until we started talking. But to
that one one second, one risk of hope and one
I mean a risk of vulnerability to get to that conversation.
But that conversation might have saved either going to live
(16:23):
now that they're gonna go have a conversation or You're
gonna have a conversation, or I'm gonna have a conversation
with someone like this, It's very powerful. The more I've
opened up to people, it has got me closer to
every single one of those people I've gotten that I've
opened up to. And I hit it. I hit it
for a long time. I hit it for fifty one years.
You know, it used to be Glazers crazy, which is
a badge of honor and fighting in football, but they
(16:43):
didn't have much pain that was in right, and that
pain has now gotten a flock closer. I want people
really understand exactly the message you're putting out there. The
more you open up, it's not gonna push people away,
It's just gonna draw us closer together. It is, it is,
And you never know what someone's going through. You never
know the battles are going through in this life. We're
kind of taught like and this is what we're trying
to change, Like you and I liked, we're taught that,
(17:05):
you know, to put your baggage or your feelings like
someone else as a burden or we shouldn't do that.
But in reality, we're all probably going through more similar
things than we think we are. M Like, we're probably like,
especially as man like, we're probably feeling more sad than
we really saying we are, or more or more like.
This is kind of unknown because we don't have never
been taught how to handle certain emotions that we're feeling
(17:25):
in the day to day life as we get older, Like,
but when we open up and talk about them, we
can connect there and then we can build off that
and understand like, hey, Okay, no I'm not crazy, No
I'm not. We know he's feeling it too, and we
can have this conversation that we should all be having
some beings well, especially the goals with athletes. For anybody
who's high high performing a job wherever it is, you
(17:47):
gotta be fucked up going in, Right, we gotta have
some crazy to get on a certain level. Right, But
what do we do with that beast all of a sudden? Right,
So we gotta have it to get to where we are,
and then we gotta we gotta learn how to tain it,
live with it, and use it to an advantage, which
you're now we're just starting to talk about. Yeah, I mean,
because we can't be that that fucked up person all
the time. I can't. I can't be Solomon Thomast on
(18:07):
the field all the field, or you'll see my name
at the ticker at the bottom of the of the stream. Like,
we have to learn how to channel and control our emotions.
And that's why I feel like therapy is so important,
or learning about mental health or learning this about yourself
and your own feelings is so important so you can
control that and find ways to come back a center
if your emotions high and or lower or I think
(18:30):
that's why these conversations and therapy and being able to
compartmentalize your feelings are so important, especially the work we're doing.
It's we're still we're probably still decuate away from really
getting huge change because it's like people ask me all
the time, now, I need some help. We're gonna do
and I tell them all the time, Okay, first of all,
go get a therapist now, and yeah, ninety five percent
(18:51):
of those people go, oh, I can't, I can't afford,
I can't do or no, and I'm like, no, they're coaches.
They're coaches, you know, just like we would get a
coach for anything else. You know, we we think about it.
If you break your arm used to get people to
sign your cast, right, but if our hearts, our brains
are we hide it. It doesn't make sense, right, we
got to flip this back and flip this script. But
the therapists the best thing we could do, and so
(19:14):
many people are still let's that's why these conversations so important,
so important, and like you said, like if I tore
my acl, I'm going to a surgeon or orthopedic surgeon.
It's like saying with your heart or your brain. Like
there's coaches out there forests and their their therapists, life coaches, psychologists,
whatever it is like, there's people out there forest because
you know there's between the mental health and physical health
(19:36):
is not much different. The body goes one on one. Um.
You know, if my brains hurted, my bodies man, my
body hurts, it's going to tell my brain something. So
it's important to take care of your brain gets as
much a take care of your body, like you know.
And more I've gone on with this workout, I figured
out more and how it relates to sports and how
it's helped me get better at sports. How I can
completely find a way to be clear and peaceful up here.
(19:57):
My body moves faster and more fluid. Um. You know,
it's it's just sinking quicker. Like people don't understand that.
But the science of the body goes one on one.
So I like to try to call it the whole
health instead of this mental physical because then we can
understand it all goes together. I love that, I really
love and it's look for football players to NFL players.
The difference between somebody who plays in the NFL and doesn't.
(20:19):
I think it's all between the ears and then a
lot there's a lot of people out there benafest stronger
than you who haven't made between our ears, right, But
it's you know, I talk to these teams like, oh,
you guys, don't just run forties when you think you
get slow, Like you're not just lifting when you think
that all of a sudden, you're you know, your your
push isn'to strong, right, You're constantly doing it. You're being proactive.
But we only seek out help therapists after the sky
(20:40):
has fallen. Yeah, it's too late, right, So we need
to start doing that just as strong as we do
the physical stuff. Yeah, Like therapy should be should be
pro have, not read like we're not taught how to
deal with all the emotions of life. Like you know,
it's just life is a lot, Like there's a lot
of stuff that goes on for certain people, a lot
of adversities, a lot of ups and downs, and we're
not taught like an elementary school, middle high school. We're
(21:00):
not taught how to go through this Like I learned
most of it through sports, but then there was a
lot that I was still missing. I still need to
go to therapy to learn how to deal with emotions
and handle certain pains, handle certain things I had never
even felt before. But that's why I think, you know,
therapy is just so great because it's literally a life
coach teaching. It's how to deal with emotions that we
are never taught before. When since you've come out, one
(21:21):
of the things I talked a lot about a lot
of being of service. I think of service is one
of my pillars to get me through my gray Have
you been able to see how much you've been of
service now? Like have you noticed like the number of
people you've helped, or you know, the people have come
over to you thanking you, like, oh, thanks for making
this okay? And has not been able to lift you up. Yeah,
you know I was. Actually I was with a for
(21:41):
another day. You're in DC, and you know she was
she was talking about you know, NFL players talking about
mental health, and you know, she said that that's a
reason because of you. And I originally like, no, like
you know, I'm just you know, just talking doing my thing.
But she was like no, like you need to take
that credit, like you deserve that. And I started without
a lot for a while because I'm like, I'm like,
I'm just doing work. I'm just telling my story, telling
my sister story, having my foundation that moving on. But
(22:05):
like I've really the last four years of my life,
I put all my dark secrets out bad, put all
my vulnerability out there. And I try to do it
because I know people out there struggling. I know there's
guys in the locker room we're hurting worse than I am,
and I want to find ways to get them to talk.
I want to find ways to help them out. And
it's changed, Like in the locker room guys that we
talk about mental health. Now we talk about finding ways
(22:26):
for therapy, even if they don't want to go to therapist,
finding someone to talk to a sports like card or
something like Dad Prescott speaking out you got you know,
you got some of the biggest names in sports talk
about mental health now like it is such like I
mean we've really changed, like what's going on here? And
then you know, I just think it's the beginning and
I think, you know, people, we're letting people be human,
and I think we need to continue to do that.
(22:46):
But you need to love yourself up for it. Yeah, absolutely,
and that's hard for us. I'll know screenshot messages someone
that says, man, thank you, you said my life for you,
empowerment you lived to me. And when I'm up like bravest,
I'll go back to those and say, Okay, Jay, you're
not such a piece of shit, Like look at what
you're doing and it's it's it's something I'm learning how
(23:07):
to learn how to love myself up right. And you also, man,
you really gotta you deserve to love yourself up for this. Man,
I appreciate that, Jay, and so do you. And I'm
gonna steal that from you because those messages mean a lot.
And I've gotten a lot of fan mail, emails, dms
whatever it is telling me like what my sister's story
has done, What my story has done. And and like
(23:28):
you said, we des are going to love ourselves and
so do you. And I'm proud of you and everything
you've done. Appreciate you, and think about this. There's the
messages we get. Think about the messages we don't get.
How many people I think you've helped out, people that
you saved. There are people out there who've paid it
forward to others, and you just, yeah, you don't know
how many people you're gonna end up saving that. But
we say, if it's one, that's a great life for you.
And it's been a lot more than one for you.
(23:50):
I'm really really proud of you. Brother. I'm proud of
you too because I know it's been way more than
one too. No, I appreciate that. Man, give us one
one last thing here on your on your foundation where
people can find help with it, and let's let's bump
it out there a little bit more. Yea, So definitely. Yeah.
So foundations called the Defensive Line. You can find us
at the Defensive Line dot Org going around trying to help,
(24:12):
you know, like really focusing in school with businesses and
sports programs, really just trying to create safe mental environments,
teach everyone, how to look for warning signs, how to
deal with christ situations, how to have an action plan.
Really just trying to get them awareness and education out
there so we can deal with these things. These are
things we're not taught, you know. And my big motivation
it was of getting to the mentors was because when
(24:33):
I when I was at school in high school, all day,
I wasn't around my parents. I was around my friend,
I was around my teachers, so they saw my behavior changes.
At home, I was just I was fried. So I
was just like, I'm burnt out for the day. I
It's gonna play with a new games, do a home,
or go to sleep. My parents that see that. So
we're trying to teach everyone to be able to be
a safe place for everyone around and so we can
create this environment where everyone can just be themselves. I
(24:56):
love that, man, It's that's the thing. To give us
a safe place is that's a new thing for all
of us. And that's beautiful, beautiful. I appreciate ja. Last
question here, give me your unbreakable moment. And what I
mean by that is, man, something that could and you
might have already talked about it, something that could have
broken you and didn't, and you came through the other
side of that tunnel. As a result, you're stronger for it,
(25:17):
and you could use that as your currency for the
rest of your life. My unbreakable momentum, I would say, Um,
I've already said it. I mean, losing my sisters was
definitely my unbreakable I was going to use turn my
icy out. But I mean, really, I really could have
gone one of two ways after losing Ella. I could
have gone down and been down forever. But you know,
I really, I really have just bought into this work.
(25:38):
I've really seen how it affects our people in this road.
I cannot affect myself and people like myself in this league.
We needed. We have so much work to do, and
you know, it's just that was my moment work really
was like, hey, like I need to break I'm going
to break through this. And once I saw and broke
through it, like I was like, Wow, there's a lot
of work through. There's a lot more unbreakable moments coming
up for a lot of people. So that was kind
(26:00):
on my mom and I love it. Man, dude, I'm Friday. Hey,
we're brothers and soul now, Man, Yes, I have a
lot of work to do together. Man, I'm gonna make
sure we get each other's number, and you know, definitely
you got a teammate you can turn to when those
roommates are we're starting to bark to you, man, I'll
do the same with you, yes, sir, Yeah, No, I'm
here for you as well. Jay. I appreciate that. Friday Brother,
thank you so much. But I'm really proud of work
(26:20):
you're doing again. Start loving yourself out, man, try to
walk this walk together. Yes, sir, me too. I appreciate it. Jay,
thank you for the platform, Sally, you got, buddy,
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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