June 21, 2023 • 21 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental health podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, WNBA superstar Monique Billings drops by and shares her strategies to help others overcome many of life’s obstacles. Her book, Finding Balance - A Playbook for Wellness, shares her insights and perspective on balancing a busy, high-performing, high-achieving life while keeping yourself as the star player.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome into Unbreakable. I'm mental health podcast with Jay Laser.
I'm Jay Glazer. And if you're like many people, you
may be surprised to learn that one in five adults
in this country experienced mental illness last year. You had
far too many failed to receive the support they need.
Charilm Behavioral Health is doing something about it. They understand
that behavioral health is a key part of whole health,
delivering compassionate care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social
(00:39):
needs in tandem. Charil and behavior health raising the quality
of life through empathy and action. Listen. Each week I
try to bring people on my brothers and sisters from
all over along the sports world, the entertainment world, veteran world,
the mental health world, wherever we can help. And you know,
our sisters include the Lindsay Vaughn's, the Curiis And you
(01:01):
know right now, I've never had somebody on from the
w NBA, so I like it. You're kicking down the
door here with me. Monique Billings, who plays for the.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Elevet screen of the WNBA.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
How you doing.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'm so blessed happy to be here in season right now.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
You know, we were just talking about you coming to
a game, so we've got to make that happen.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
We got to make that happen. You see you do
see them so zen for in season?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Were you always this calm in season?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I would say so. I'm naturally very calm. That's like
my personality. My alter ego kicks in on the court.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
She's not so calm.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
You find that other person, what do you do? You
have a name for that other person?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Ooh, it's funny because a long time ago I made
this name up with my therapist.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
It's present, so I'm present.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, good, Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Listen, I'm in
the mental health game now right trying to help people
out between their ears. For years and years, I still
a training people in mixed martial arts and a lot
of pro athletes, and I'm kind of like doing the
office of what you're supposed to do. I'm telling everybody
in that cage, on that field, on your course, wherever
it is, you're hurt, you're tired, you don't show it.
(02:06):
No hands on our hips. We don't show we're just
going to make.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
It a horrible afternoon that person across from us.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
But then for the other twenty one hours of the day,
I want us to really show our pain and really
show the vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
And then you just came out with a new book
kind of do exactly that explain.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
So my book Finding Balance, a playbook for wellness, is
just how this lessoned keys that I've learned through being
a professional athlete, through my journey, I just like you,
want to help people with the mental side of things,
So helping people understand who they are outside of what
they do and really identifying just their space and not
(02:45):
just being solely an athlete, but understanding like we are
humans first, we have feelings, emotions and all of that.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
So in order to be your best in whatever you do,
I think it's.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Important to know who you are, why are you feeling
the way that you're feeling, and being able to identify
that by just coming home within yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
What prompted you to do it? Because look, anybody's a
pro athlete, You're fucking different. We can curse on this podcast.
That's different is good. Differently to success. You're different than
the rest of the world to everybody you play with
is different. Why you to take this step?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Honestly, today, I think it's purpose.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I'm a woman of faith, and so I know that
God has big plans for me, plans outside of basketball,
and so I really feel like walking along this path,
writing this book was just.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
A part of my purpose.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I told my manager like, hey, I'm very passionate about wellness.
I want people to feel good Like I wake up
in the morning and I feel good. I'm ready to
experience life, to explore. I feel incredible, and I want
other people, my peers, basketball, people that play sports, whatever,
to feel the same way. And he was like, you
need to write a book. That's what people do when
(03:52):
they have an expertise in something. And so not that
I'm an expert or anything, but I do think that
I have put in the work and the time of
understanding the mind and just being an athlete. I think
that helps too, because it's relatable for people who are
currently going through it and just even outside of even
people who have what's it called retired. I think it's
(04:15):
important to know like who you are, Like I said,
who you are outside of what you do. Because the
ball goes flat at some point in life and it's like, Okay,
what's next, what are you going to do? Who's your character?
So that's why I would say, that's why. I mean,
it's just it's my purpose.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I would say, it's not like it's not you who
plays in the w NBA. It's what's behind your ribcage
that got you beat out millions of other girls that
you are right, that doesn't just leave when the uniform
comes off. Something. How to prompted this for you to say, Okay,
I'm going to come forward about this?
Speaker 5 (04:46):
That's a really good question.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I would say, I'm very diligent with the work that
I put in daily to feed my soul, my spirit,
to just do the mental work. It's so much more
than just dribbling a basketball, getting on court, watching film
and my opponents. I have to do all that stuff too,
but I have to ground myself every single day.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
And like I said, I'm a woman of faith.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
So for me, that starts with my faith, but it's
also journaling, it's also meditating. It's just taking that time
to be still, which is chapter in one of my book.
And I think that's been so important for me and
something that I've learned that has helped me so much.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
And when I talk with other athletes and other people, they're.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Not necessarily doing that and taking that time and that
self care, those practices and rituals, and so I think
that that's where it has really stemmed from for me.
And like I said, just that quiet time, putting my
phone away, taking that time for myself, coming home with
them myself, and listening to my spirit's, what's on my heart,
what's going on around me, and just being self aware.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I guess what I'm asking is like, so for me,
I route on breadable and I realized saying that you're like, yeah,
we can kind of touch people in a different way.
But then I had also kind of fallen off the
reservation a little bit, and I said I got to
go this and help for myself and change because I
was just fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, NonStop. And I
and I saw that in myself and said, I can't
(06:05):
just teach people how to fight. I got to somehow
teach people how to heal, and heal between my ears. Yeah,
So I guess for you, what I'm asking is, was
there a time, was there a momment that you said, oh,
I got to do something different than what I've been doing.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
I think, well I was going to.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I think I get what you're saying. So for me,
this book is for my younger self. These are the
keys and the things that I wish that someone had
told little Monique back in the day. I didn't know
who I was outside of what I did. And I
was raised by two very strong parents who raised me
in just such a beautiful way and really gave me
a great foundation. But even further than that, they weren't
(06:42):
professional athletes. They've never walked this path and journey. So
me being here now, I'm like, Okay, these are things
that keys and concepts that I wish I knew at fourteen.
I wish I knew even younger than that. And so
that's where finding Balance comes from. Is that answering your question?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
That's kind of like it. Yeah, So so give me
you try to jump in a chapter one there and
I cut you off. What the ADHD and me does? Yeah,
tell me your if you're going to talk to one
of your teammates, one of your opponents and say this
is what it is. This is the magic of finding balance.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Well, let's start with chapter one.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Finding balance is taking that time for self every single day,
and it's going to look different every single day. I
don't wake up every morning and get to do everything
on my morning routine list. Sometimes I have to do
a couple things. I might be late to practice, and
I'm like, okay, I can only do a couple of
things right now. Maybe I can do some more later.
But it's just taking that time to be still. I
think that's so important and something that we don't do.
(07:39):
It's taking breaks from your phone and being outside, being
in nature.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
There was a point that you realize, Okay, I have
to start being still. Is there something like like when
did you learn this?
Speaker 5 (07:50):
That's a good question.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I would say when I became a pro so my
rookie year, I was searching for knowledge, searching how to
feed my mind.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
So I'm like listening to podcasts.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
And different sound bites on YouTube and I'm like, Okay,
these are things that I've never been taught as an athlete.
I've been taught how to shoot a basketball, but I've
never been taught.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
How to train my mind.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
And that's what that's that was fueling me. I'm like,
this is soul food. Okay, cool? Where can I get
more of this, and so the more that I kept
doing it, then I started mastering my morning routine. And
I have a long way to go, Like I know
it's going to only continue to evolve, and so that's
the exciting part.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
But it's been a process and it will continue to
be a process.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, we'll work in progress.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Absolutely, Yes, Exactly.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
How long is your morning routine take?
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Ideally perfect day, I need like an hour and a
half from my morning routine.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And you noticed a huge difference when you don't do it,
So I.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Yeah, if I don't do at least one thing within
my morning routine, even if it's just not making up
my bed or my skincare routine or just like getting
my hair nice for the morning, like whatever, whatever, it
might be, just one little stuff.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Thing I noticed, I just get up and go. Like
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I do feel like I'm just kind of stimulated and
not calm and balanced.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So give us what your morning routine has if you can,
okay in right elevator pitch.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yes, money routine, wake up, make up my bed, skincare,
self care, make sure I'm looking good, meditate, read my
Bible journal, make a really good breakfast, and then I'm
out the door.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
How long you.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Meditate for ten minutes?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Is it guided or is it transcendental?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Or is it what kind of meditation is it?
Speaker 5 (09:34):
It depends.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Sometimes I'll do guide it. Sometimes I just like to
sit in silence. Sometimes I'll listen to like soundbath or
like a meditation meditation type of music.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
It just depends.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You kind of lead your teammates and things.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Now I have I've done guided meditations and I'm a yogi,
so yoga with them and different things like that.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So, yeah, what are you hoping to get from your book?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
I want people to to read my book and have
a sense of I got this, a better sense of
understanding of who they are, like I said, outside of
what they do, and just understanding themselves more. That's what
I really hope my book will convey to people.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
So my morning meditation or my morning routine, it goes
about fifteen minutes. I've said this on this podcast because
nothing good happens on this cell phone, right, Like, none
of us are actually have won two billion dollars as
the Nigerian prints. It doesn't really happen in real life.
We're not going to wake up to that, right, So
it's not a problems. And I used to just immediately
(10:34):
wake up to that the problems it's brutal. So now
I get up. I will do when I do it
with my beautiful fiance Rosie Tennyson, if I have a
partner to do with with, we'll do three songs of
breathwork of different breath work, and I'll basically put on
songs so it goes about ten minutes, and then we
will do a meditation of what we're grateful for, and
(10:59):
we'll write down a brat list of ten things or
grateful for from the day before. And it was so
hard when I originally learned the gratitude list, Like it
was so hard.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
To a guy like me to was so self low
there to be grateful for anything.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Right, So now we learn how to do it. And
then this week actually introduced saying out loud like hold
the games and saying thank you God, I'm grateful for this. Yes,
And we do that together and then we say a
quicker and then we look at our phones.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
I like that, and I like that you said you
wait to be on your phone. I think that's very
important that I often apply as well.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
And I do want to add this. So for the gratitude.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Something that I heard this week, actually, I think it
was on a Joyce Meyer podcast. She had said, imagine
not saying thank you for the things that you are
actually grateful for and then being gone tomorrow. That hit
me hard, Like, imagine not being grateful for I don't
know my legs, my arms, the fact that I'm able
to breathe and I'm healthy, the little things that we
take for granted, and they're gone tomorrow. So when when
(12:01):
I heard that, I was like, wow, I can do
better being grateful.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I learned how to do this gratitude list in Thailand
from this Timelnk and it was wild. I went on
like a thirty five day mind body spirit journey. I
fought my muay Thai in the jungle, and I did
breath work and meditation and I did you know eight
so clean, didn't drink. But when they first told me
to do this, hey, we want you to write down
one hundred things your grip for. It took me a
(12:27):
week and my life is great. It's incredible, right, it
was so. But then you think you talk about things
like you just brought up your legs, your eyesight, your
arms and things we don't know really how to be
grateful for that. We do take for granted.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Well, it sounds like you've done a lot of work
now to where you could probably write two lists to
one hundred list.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I'm about four hundred in now, you kidd.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Make I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah. But I like that you say that because it
was like it was hard for me. And they're like, yeah,
you could put things out, are materialistic, You're good. It's like,
whatever makes you feel grateful, Yes, that's for you, right
down on your list. Yeah, And it's a much better
way to wake up grateful than to look on her
phone and wake up with problems.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
I totally agree.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Give me some of the other big lessons you're trying
to teach us with your book.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
I don't want to spoil too much. I want people
to read the book. It's a very quick read.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
But some of the things you got to spoil us,
trust me, you'll still read it.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
I got you, I got you.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Some of the things that some of the concepts that
I include in my book are just asking yourself tough
questions like why do I dress the way that I dress?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Why do I listen to the music that I listen to.
Do I really like this stuff?
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Or is this just in my environment and the people
around me listen to these types of things or dress
this type of way. Those are questions that I had
to ask myself because I wasn't being stimulated by the
music that I was listening to.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
In the locker room with my teammates. It just wasn't
for me.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
I am an R and B gurly, and that's something
that I'm very comfortable with now, but at a certain
I would try to hide aspects of myself because I
noticed that people around me maybe just weren't like that,
and so I realized that there's some things about me
that are different. So that's one thing like again asking
yourself those tough questions, kind of just deep diving and
really getting to know who you are.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I want to hit you a little bit on your
your career. What makes you different than everybody else out there?
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Basketball wise or basketball wise?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Basketball wise?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
What makes you say that female athletic player in the WNBA?
And no, I did not give myself that title, but
I will take it. I am notably super athletics super
athlete crazy jeans, and I know that that's my separator,
and there's something about being in the WNBA. There's only
one hundred and forty four of us. Everyone has to
be a specialist. That's something. My specialty is my athleticism
(14:50):
and the fact that I'm able to rebound like crazy.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Was that something you think you were born with or
something you were taught?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Definitely born with. I mean, I have the work ethics,
so I think that helps as well. But my dad
would always tell me, like my ability to run, John
to just be athletic. He would always say, that's your gift,
that's your gift. When I was young, I didn't understand that.
But now I'm like, I see what you mean.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Now that you're in a mindfulness, are you able to
I've dealt with this with fighters and sometimes guys. Sometimes
I get real religious and they'll go, man, I'm kind
of feeling bad what I'm doing in there, and I'm like, no, no, no,
You're allowed to be two different chaps. It's fine, right.
Are you able to be a total gangster out there
and still know Okay, I'm still mindful by doing this.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
Dude, I am a gospel gangster for I love that.
I love that I know that what I'm doing is
on purpose.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I know that I'm serving the Lord, and I'm always
asking God for that discernment to feel like I am
walking in alignment with the purpose that He has me
here for.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
So you know, if you're just out there just throwing elbows, hey,
it's part of it. So I am.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
No, I'm not a starting player. That's different.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's not dirty. You're doing what you gotta don.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Man, throwing elbows, I would say throwing elbows is dirty.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
That's well, if your rebounding, you just they just gotta
get out of your way.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Yeah, there's an art to it.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, there's an art to it, absolutely absolute art to it.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
So if you're doing it the artful way, that's okay.
But if you're just out here trying to hurt people,
that's no.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, I didn't. I didn't see that.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
You know, I talked to a lot of teams about
mental health, and I don't know how it is.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
In the the w NBA, like the NFL, they take
their therapist and they kind of usually put him or
upstairs or away or almost make it where it's like, ah, man,
you can really go up there, and I want them
next to the cafeteria or next to the weight room,
and you know you got to take your mental health
and attack it the same way you do your physical health.
What's it like in the w n B A.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
I would say it's the same way to whereas like,
we have the option to address our mental health in
any way that we want. We have the resources. Whether
you tap in with it or not is up to you.
That's a part of being a pro. That's why I
love being a pro, because no one can hold your
hand through it. In college, people will hold your hand.
It's a lot more micromanaged. But as a pro, what
do you need? I feel like it would help everyone
(17:09):
who is a professional athlete to happen with their mind,
but not everyone feels like they need that. And I
think people at different points in their journey might realize
they need it.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Someone might be seven years in and say, you.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Know what, let me start tappening with my mind because
I realize it's more mental than physical, someone like me
who realized this as a rookie. We all hit it
at different stages, but the resources are definitely there.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
They all need it. It's just that again, it's that
stigma still, and I think people like you, people like
mess help are helping them break down. Have you seen
a turn? And how many of your teammates or people
in the league start to approach you and say, hey, it'
see you're starting to talk about this and I like
to talk to about a little bit more.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
I would say, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I think a lot of people have been impressed because
at first I've never been so just open about mental
health and having these conversations, and so I think a
lot of people are like, wow, I didn't know that
you were in this space. And when they do read
my book and just even see it and feel it
and just kind of like skin through it, they're like wow,
like this is impressive.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Do your coaches come to you about it a.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Little bit in the off season. It's season.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I see that their focus locked in as we should be.
But in the off season, they too were just like wow,
this is this is very impressive. My head coach actually
she was a player just a few years ago, and
so she's like, you know what, these weren't conversations that
were being had when I was a player, So I
think that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And also take care of her because like our leaders
got to take everybody else, but who texts care of them.
They got to take on all your problems, right, but
no one makes sure that they're okay. And they sign
up to coach sports they didn't sign up to, you know,
to be a mental health coach, and sometimes it just
gets on their shoulders a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
What do you hope when all is sending down with
your book and then your next book and your book
after that, Like, where do you hope that this path
takes you?
Speaker 5 (18:57):
That's a great question.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
That's something that I'm praying on because I was twenty
four to twenty five when I started writing this book,
and I did not necessarily want to.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Like I said, I was, I'm.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Walking on purpose, and I'm asking God for that discernment
and so I'm leaving it. I'm being a steward and
I'm leaving it in his hands and I'm praying that
what he wants his will to be done with this book.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
And by the way, like one of the things I
bring up with my book to get me through my
depression anxiety is being of service. And that's what you're
doing whether you have like so, don't look at yourselves.
You're being of service and that's the great part of this.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Yeah, that's something that I'm still having to learn. It's
not about numbers or how many I'm selling.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
It's okay.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
One person said they were impacted and they felt great.
It's been more than one, but just it just means
a lot. It's touching the right people, and I know
that it'll be in the right people's.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Hands for sure. Let that feel you out. You know.
I kind of looked at it early on too, like,
oh my gosh, for myself where I'm in, and yet
people were reaching out saying, Wow, you save my life.
If you inspired me to change my life. You gave
me the words to have the conversation with my son
or daughter, and I wasn't necessarily letting it sink in
the way it should have. Each one is sunk in
(20:13):
not my quest for success.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
Right, Wow, thank you for that. Now I received that
for sure.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Absolutely, give me one more thing we could take out
of your book before I let you go.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Well, I'll give you my favorite quote that's in my book.
It could be better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow.
My dad gave me that quote, and I would say
that's what I live by. It's striving to be great
every single day, You're chasing the best version of yourself,
and I think that that's how we should live life.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I love that, Manique Billings. I really appreciate you, and
I will take you up on it. I get to
a game, come there, I'll cheer you on. Absolutely.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Thank you for joining us, and again, tell everybody what
the name of your book is.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Finding Balance, a playbook for wellness. You can find it
at my website Mobillings dot com or Instagram at Monique Billings.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Awesome. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Thank you, thank you, God bless
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome into Unbreakable. I'm mental health podcast with Jay Laser.
I'm Jay Glazer. And if you're like many people, you
may be surprised to learn that one in five adults
in this country experienced mental illness last year. You had
far too many failed to receive the support they need.
Charilm Behavioral Health is doing something about it. They understand
that behavioral health is a key part of whole health,
delivering compassionate care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social
(00:39):
needs in tandem. Charil and behavior health raising the quality
of life through empathy and action. Listen. Each week I
try to bring people on my brothers and sisters from
all over along the sports world, the entertainment world, veteran world,
the mental health world, wherever we can help. And you know,
our sisters include the Lindsay Vaughn's, the Curiis And you
(01:01):
know right now, I've never had somebody on from the
w NBA, so I like it. You're kicking down the
door here with me. Monique Billings, who plays for the.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Elevet screen of the WNBA.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
How you doing.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'm so blessed happy to be here in season right now.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
You know, we were just talking about you coming to
a game, so we've got to make that happen.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
We got to make that happen. You see you do
see them so zen for in season?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Were you always this calm in season?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I would say so. I'm naturally very calm. That's like
my personality. My alter ego kicks in on the court.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
She's not so calm.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
You find that other person, what do you do? You
have a name for that other person?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Ooh, it's funny because a long time ago I made
this name up with my therapist.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
It's present, so I'm present.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, good, Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Listen, I'm in
the mental health game now right trying to help people
out between their ears. For years and years, I still
a training people in mixed martial arts and a lot
of pro athletes, and I'm kind of like doing the
office of what you're supposed to do. I'm telling everybody
in that cage, on that field, on your course, wherever
it is, you're hurt, you're tired, you don't show it.
(02:06):
No hands on our hips. We don't show we're just
going to make.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
It a horrible afternoon that person across from us.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
But then for the other twenty one hours of the day,
I want us to really show our pain and really
show the vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
And then you just came out with a new book
kind of do exactly that explain.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
So my book Finding Balance, a playbook for wellness, is
just how this lessoned keys that I've learned through being
a professional athlete, through my journey, I just like you,
want to help people with the mental side of things,
So helping people understand who they are outside of what
they do and really identifying just their space and not
(02:45):
just being solely an athlete, but understanding like we are
humans first, we have feelings, emotions and all of that.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
So in order to be your best in whatever you do,
I think it's.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Important to know who you are, why are you feeling
the way that you're feeling, and being able to identify
that by just coming home within yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
What prompted you to do it? Because look, anybody's a
pro athlete, You're fucking different. We can curse on this podcast.
That's different is good. Differently to success. You're different than
the rest of the world to everybody you play with
is different. Why you to take this step?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Honestly, today, I think it's purpose.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I'm a woman of faith, and so I know that
God has big plans for me, plans outside of basketball,
and so I really feel like walking along this path,
writing this book was just.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
A part of my purpose.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I told my manager like, hey, I'm very passionate about wellness.
I want people to feel good Like I wake up
in the morning and I feel good. I'm ready to
experience life, to explore. I feel incredible, and I want
other people, my peers, basketball, people that play sports, whatever,
to feel the same way. And he was like, you
need to write a book. That's what people do when
(03:52):
they have an expertise in something. And so not that
I'm an expert or anything, but I do think that
I have put in the work and the time of
understanding the mind and just being an athlete. I think
that helps too, because it's relatable for people who are
currently going through it and just even outside of even
people who have what's it called retired. I think it's
(04:15):
important to know like who you are, Like I said,
who you are outside of what you do. Because the
ball goes flat at some point in life and it's like, Okay,
what's next, what are you going to do? Who's your character?
So that's why I would say, that's why. I mean,
it's just it's my purpose.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I would say, it's not like it's not you who
plays in the w NBA. It's what's behind your ribcage
that got you beat out millions of other girls that
you are right, that doesn't just leave when the uniform
comes off. Something. How to prompted this for you to say, Okay,
I'm going to come forward about this?
Speaker 5 (04:46):
That's a really good question.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I would say, I'm very diligent with the work that
I put in daily to feed my soul, my spirit,
to just do the mental work. It's so much more
than just dribbling a basketball, getting on court, watching film
and my opponents. I have to do all that stuff too,
but I have to ground myself every single day.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
And like I said, I'm a woman of faith.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
So for me, that starts with my faith, but it's
also journaling, it's also meditating. It's just taking that time
to be still, which is chapter in one of my book.
And I think that's been so important for me and
something that I've learned that has helped me so much.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
And when I talk with other athletes and other people, they're.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Not necessarily doing that and taking that time and that
self care, those practices and rituals, and so I think
that that's where it has really stemmed from for me.
And like I said, just that quiet time, putting my
phone away, taking that time for myself, coming home with
them myself, and listening to my spirit's, what's on my heart,
what's going on around me, and just being self aware.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I guess what I'm asking is like, so for me,
I route on breadable and I realized saying that you're like, yeah,
we can kind of touch people in a different way.
But then I had also kind of fallen off the
reservation a little bit, and I said I got to
go this and help for myself and change because I
was just fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, NonStop. And I
and I saw that in myself and said, I can't
(06:05):
just teach people how to fight. I got to somehow
teach people how to heal, and heal between my ears. Yeah,
So I guess for you, what I'm asking is, was
there a time, was there a momment that you said, oh,
I got to do something different than what I've been doing.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
I think, well I was going to.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I think I get what you're saying. So for me,
this book is for my younger self. These are the
keys and the things that I wish that someone had
told little Monique back in the day. I didn't know
who I was outside of what I did. And I
was raised by two very strong parents who raised me
in just such a beautiful way and really gave me
a great foundation. But even further than that, they weren't
(06:42):
professional athletes. They've never walked this path and journey. So
me being here now, I'm like, Okay, these are things
that keys and concepts that I wish I knew at fourteen.
I wish I knew even younger than that. And so
that's where finding Balance comes from. Is that answering your question?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
That's kind of like it. Yeah, So so give me
you try to jump in a chapter one there and
I cut you off. What the ADHD and me does? Yeah,
tell me your if you're going to talk to one
of your teammates, one of your opponents and say this
is what it is. This is the magic of finding balance.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Well, let's start with chapter one.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Finding balance is taking that time for self every single day,
and it's going to look different every single day. I
don't wake up every morning and get to do everything
on my morning routine list. Sometimes I have to do
a couple things. I might be late to practice, and
I'm like, okay, I can only do a couple of
things right now. Maybe I can do some more later.
But it's just taking that time to be still. I
think that's so important and something that we don't do.
(07:39):
It's taking breaks from your phone and being outside, being
in nature.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
There was a point that you realize, Okay, I have
to start being still. Is there something like like when
did you learn this?
Speaker 5 (07:50):
That's a good question.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I would say when I became a pro so my
rookie year, I was searching for knowledge, searching how to
feed my mind.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
So I'm like listening to podcasts.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
And different sound bites on YouTube and I'm like, Okay,
these are things that I've never been taught as an athlete.
I've been taught how to shoot a basketball, but I've
never been taught.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
How to train my mind.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
And that's what that's that was fueling me. I'm like,
this is soul food. Okay, cool? Where can I get
more of this, and so the more that I kept
doing it, then I started mastering my morning routine. And
I have a long way to go, Like I know
it's going to only continue to evolve, and so that's
the exciting part.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
But it's been a process and it will continue to
be a process.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, we'll work in progress.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Absolutely, Yes, Exactly.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
How long is your morning routine take?
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Ideally perfect day, I need like an hour and a
half from my morning routine.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And you noticed a huge difference when you don't do it,
So I.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Yeah, if I don't do at least one thing within
my morning routine, even if it's just not making up
my bed or my skincare routine or just like getting
my hair nice for the morning, like whatever, whatever, it
might be, just one little stuff.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Thing I noticed, I just get up and go. Like
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I do feel like I'm just kind of stimulated and
not calm and balanced.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So give us what your morning routine has if you can,
okay in right elevator pitch.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yes, money routine, wake up, make up my bed, skincare,
self care, make sure I'm looking good, meditate, read my
Bible journal, make a really good breakfast, and then I'm
out the door.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
How long you.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Meditate for ten minutes?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Is it guided or is it transcendental?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Or is it what kind of meditation is it?
Speaker 5 (09:34):
It depends.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Sometimes I'll do guide it. Sometimes I just like to
sit in silence. Sometimes I'll listen to like soundbath or
like a meditation meditation type of music.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
It just depends.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You kind of lead your teammates and things.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Now I have I've done guided meditations and I'm a yogi,
so yoga with them and different things like that.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So, yeah, what are you hoping to get from your book?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
I want people to to read my book and have
a sense of I got this, a better sense of
understanding of who they are, like I said, outside of
what they do, and just understanding themselves more. That's what
I really hope my book will convey to people.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
So my morning meditation or my morning routine, it goes
about fifteen minutes. I've said this on this podcast because
nothing good happens on this cell phone, right, Like, none
of us are actually have won two billion dollars as
the Nigerian prints. It doesn't really happen in real life.
We're not going to wake up to that, right, So
it's not a problems. And I used to just immediately
(10:34):
wake up to that the problems it's brutal. So now
I get up. I will do when I do it
with my beautiful fiance Rosie Tennyson, if I have a
partner to do with with, we'll do three songs of
breathwork of different breath work, and I'll basically put on
songs so it goes about ten minutes, and then we
will do a meditation of what we're grateful for, and
(10:59):
we'll write down a brat list of ten things or
grateful for from the day before. And it was so
hard when I originally learned the gratitude list, Like it
was so hard.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
To a guy like me to was so self low
there to be grateful for anything.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Right, So now we learn how to do it. And
then this week actually introduced saying out loud like hold
the games and saying thank you God, I'm grateful for this. Yes,
And we do that together and then we say a
quicker and then we look at our phones.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
I like that, and I like that you said you
wait to be on your phone. I think that's very
important that I often apply as well.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
And I do want to add this. So for the gratitude.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Something that I heard this week, actually, I think it
was on a Joyce Meyer podcast. She had said, imagine
not saying thank you for the things that you are
actually grateful for and then being gone tomorrow. That hit
me hard, Like, imagine not being grateful for I don't
know my legs, my arms, the fact that I'm able
to breathe and I'm healthy, the little things that we
take for granted, and they're gone tomorrow. So when when
(12:01):
I heard that, I was like, wow, I can do
better being grateful.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I learned how to do this gratitude list in Thailand
from this Timelnk and it was wild. I went on
like a thirty five day mind body spirit journey. I
fought my muay Thai in the jungle, and I did
breath work and meditation and I did you know eight
so clean, didn't drink. But when they first told me
to do this, hey, we want you to write down
one hundred things your grip for. It took me a
(12:27):
week and my life is great. It's incredible, right, it
was so. But then you think you talk about things
like you just brought up your legs, your eyesight, your
arms and things we don't know really how to be
grateful for that. We do take for granted.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Well, it sounds like you've done a lot of work
now to where you could probably write two lists to
one hundred list.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I'm about four hundred in now, you kidd.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Make I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah. But I like that you say that because it
was like it was hard for me. And they're like, yeah,
you could put things out, are materialistic, You're good. It's like,
whatever makes you feel grateful, Yes, that's for you, right
down on your list. Yeah, And it's a much better
way to wake up grateful than to look on her
phone and wake up with problems.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
I totally agree.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Give me some of the other big lessons you're trying
to teach us with your book.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
I don't want to spoil too much. I want people
to read the book. It's a very quick read.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
But some of the things you got to spoil us,
trust me, you'll still read it.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
I got you, I got you.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Some of the things that some of the concepts that
I include in my book are just asking yourself tough
questions like why do I dress the way that I dress?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Why do I listen to the music that I listen to.
Do I really like this stuff?
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Or is this just in my environment and the people
around me listen to these types of things or dress
this type of way. Those are questions that I had
to ask myself because I wasn't being stimulated by the
music that I was listening to.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
In the locker room with my teammates. It just wasn't
for me.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
I am an R and B gurly, and that's something
that I'm very comfortable with now, but at a certain
I would try to hide aspects of myself because I
noticed that people around me maybe just weren't like that,
and so I realized that there's some things about me
that are different. So that's one thing like again asking
yourself those tough questions, kind of just deep diving and
really getting to know who you are.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I want to hit you a little bit on your
your career. What makes you different than everybody else out there?
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Basketball wise or basketball wise?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Basketball wise?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
What makes you say that female athletic player in the WNBA?
And no, I did not give myself that title, but
I will take it. I am notably super athletics super
athlete crazy jeans, and I know that that's my separator,
and there's something about being in the WNBA. There's only
one hundred and forty four of us. Everyone has to
be a specialist. That's something. My specialty is my athleticism
(14:50):
and the fact that I'm able to rebound like crazy.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Was that something you think you were born with or
something you were taught?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Definitely born with. I mean, I have the work ethics,
so I think that helps as well. But my dad
would always tell me, like my ability to run, John
to just be athletic. He would always say, that's your gift,
that's your gift. When I was young, I didn't understand that.
But now I'm like, I see what you mean.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Now that you're in a mindfulness, are you able to
I've dealt with this with fighters and sometimes guys. Sometimes
I get real religious and they'll go, man, I'm kind
of feeling bad what I'm doing in there, and I'm like, no, no, no,
You're allowed to be two different chaps. It's fine, right.
Are you able to be a total gangster out there
and still know Okay, I'm still mindful by doing this.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
Dude, I am a gospel gangster for I love that.
I love that I know that what I'm doing is
on purpose.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I know that I'm serving the Lord, and I'm always
asking God for that discernment to feel like I am
walking in alignment with the purpose that He has me
here for.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
So you know, if you're just out there just throwing elbows, hey,
it's part of it. So I am.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
No, I'm not a starting player. That's different.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's not dirty. You're doing what you gotta don.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Man, throwing elbows, I would say throwing elbows is dirty.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
That's well, if your rebounding, you just they just gotta
get out of your way.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Yeah, there's an art to it.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, there's an art to it, absolutely absolute art to it.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
So if you're doing it the artful way, that's okay.
But if you're just out here trying to hurt people,
that's no.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, I didn't. I didn't see that.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
You know, I talked to a lot of teams about
mental health, and I don't know how it is.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
In the the w NBA, like the NFL, they take
their therapist and they kind of usually put him or
upstairs or away or almost make it where it's like, ah, man,
you can really go up there, and I want them
next to the cafeteria or next to the weight room,
and you know you got to take your mental health
and attack it the same way you do your physical health.
What's it like in the w n B A.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
I would say it's the same way to whereas like,
we have the option to address our mental health in
any way that we want. We have the resources. Whether
you tap in with it or not is up to you.
That's a part of being a pro. That's why I
love being a pro, because no one can hold your
hand through it. In college, people will hold your hand.
It's a lot more micromanaged. But as a pro, what
do you need? I feel like it would help everyone
(17:09):
who is a professional athlete to happen with their mind,
but not everyone feels like they need that. And I
think people at different points in their journey might realize
they need it.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Someone might be seven years in and say, you.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Know what, let me start tappening with my mind because
I realize it's more mental than physical, someone like me
who realized this as a rookie. We all hit it
at different stages, but the resources are definitely there.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
They all need it. It's just that again, it's that
stigma still, and I think people like you, people like
mess help are helping them break down. Have you seen
a turn? And how many of your teammates or people
in the league start to approach you and say, hey, it'
see you're starting to talk about this and I like
to talk to about a little bit more.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
I would say, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I think a lot of people have been impressed because
at first I've never been so just open about mental
health and having these conversations, and so I think a
lot of people are like, wow, I didn't know that
you were in this space. And when they do read
my book and just even see it and feel it
and just kind of like skin through it, they're like wow,
like this is impressive.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Do your coaches come to you about it a.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Little bit in the off season. It's season.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I see that their focus locked in as we should be.
But in the off season, they too were just like wow,
this is this is very impressive. My head coach actually
she was a player just a few years ago, and
so she's like, you know what, these weren't conversations that
were being had when I was a player, So I
think that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And also take care of her because like our leaders
got to take everybody else, but who texts care of them.
They got to take on all your problems, right, but
no one makes sure that they're okay. And they sign
up to coach sports they didn't sign up to, you know,
to be a mental health coach, and sometimes it just
gets on their shoulders a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
What do you hope when all is sending down with
your book and then your next book and your book
after that, Like, where do you hope that this path
takes you?
Speaker 5 (18:57):
That's a great question.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
That's something that I'm praying on because I was twenty
four to twenty five when I started writing this book,
and I did not necessarily want to.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Like I said, I was, I'm.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Walking on purpose, and I'm asking God for that discernment
and so I'm leaving it. I'm being a steward and
I'm leaving it in his hands and I'm praying that
what he wants his will to be done with this book.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
And by the way, like one of the things I
bring up with my book to get me through my
depression anxiety is being of service. And that's what you're
doing whether you have like so, don't look at yourselves.
You're being of service and that's the great part of this.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Yeah, that's something that I'm still having to learn. It's
not about numbers or how many I'm selling.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
It's okay.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
One person said they were impacted and they felt great.
It's been more than one, but just it just means
a lot. It's touching the right people, and I know
that it'll be in the right people's.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Hands for sure. Let that feel you out. You know.
I kind of looked at it early on too, like,
oh my gosh, for myself where I'm in, and yet
people were reaching out saying, Wow, you save my life.
If you inspired me to change my life. You gave
me the words to have the conversation with my son
or daughter, and I wasn't necessarily letting it sink in
the way it should have. Each one is sunk in
(20:13):
not my quest for success.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
Right, Wow, thank you for that. Now I received that
for sure.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Absolutely, give me one more thing we could take out
of your book before I let you go.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Well, I'll give you my favorite quote that's in my book.
It could be better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow.
My dad gave me that quote, and I would say
that's what I live by. It's striving to be great
every single day, You're chasing the best version of yourself,
and I think that that's how we should live life.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I love that, Manique Billings. I really appreciate you, and
I will take you up on it. I get to
a game, come there, I'll cheer you on. Absolutely.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Thank you for joining us, and again, tell everybody what
the name of your book is.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Finding Balance, a playbook for wellness. You can find it
at my website Mobillings dot com or Instagram at Monique Billings.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Awesome. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Thank you, thank you, God bless
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.