July 19, 2023 • 29 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental health podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today's episode, Global Brand Builder and one of Australia's top female entrepreneurs Tory Archbald sits down with Jay. On the outside, Tory's life seemed incredibly glamorous but behind the scenes she was living an 'indescribable hell' dealing with a stalking ex-partner and serious illness that almost cost her life. Here is her incredible story!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental health podcast with Jake
Glazier and the guest I have on and.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I'm gonna introducer in a couple of minutes.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Chare you all heard me talk about going overseas to
Thailand to really find myself and work on mind, body, spirit.
And this was a person I actually met on the
plane over there and we became fast friends. She wrote
a book. I'm in the book, but she is incredible.
She's helping Rosie and Renee with their business now. She
is an absolute gangster when it comes to the business world,
(00:44):
but the biggest heart in the world. And before I
introduce her, if you're like many people, you may be
supposed to learn that one in five adults in this
country experienced mental illness last year. Get far too many
failed to receive the support they need. Cayrol N Behavioral
Health is doing something on it. They understand the behavioral
health is a key part of whole health, delivering compassionate
(01:05):
care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social needs. In
tandem Carolin behavioral health, raising the quality of life through
empathy and action.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
So with that again, I want to bring in.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
This is the first guest I've had from overseas, I
believe on the Unbreakable podcast, Tory Archibald, who is my
spiritual gangster from overseas in Thailand.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
She's from Australia.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We linked up in Thailand and we become fast little
besties ever since.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
How you doing.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
I'm really good, Jay, And it's so great because I
love the fact that you lean in and check in
on your teammates. And after we left Thailand, you were like, hey,
teammate right, and been in my circle ever since. So
it's a great pleasure to be here today. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
So then Tory and I were we went to the
place called Kamalai in Thailand where how many times have
you gone?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I'm about to go eight times now and times yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Me to it.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I've talked a lot about what I've learned from the
monks over there. But listen, Torri here, who is a
huge person in the publicity world, PR world, marketing world,
not just in Australia but across the entire globe.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
But she were sitting at dinner, She's like, Jay, the
last thing you're missing and you're gonna get it this year.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's the last thing you're just missing love and you're
gonna get it this year.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
You're gonna find it this year.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
And sure enough, man, maybe she should become a tarret
card reader instead of, you know, a marketing maiden, because
she had it. She nailed it with Rosie and it
changed my life and she told me too, it will
change your life forever.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
And you know what, the one thing I don't tell
many people, and I think I did share it with
you when we're in Camalayas. I've always been able to
see the runway of life, and I believe anyone listening
to these podcasts can also see the runway of life
if you just take time out for yourself, you know.
And when we were in Kamalaya, I kept coming up
to you saying, I know it's coming, it's coming. And
then I get the email saying, oh my gosh, you know,
(03:04):
I'm engaged to Rosie, and I was over the moon
because I feel that if we can love ourselves from
the inside out, it's the best kind of love. And
it's this radiance and this energetic magic that matches us
with our soulmate. And I'm so grateful that that happened
to you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
And you and I were talking saying, you said just
that we have to love ourselves from the inside out.
I wouldn't be ready for love until I learned how
to do that. And I finally learned how to do it.
And you were like, oh, you're ready, Now you're ready,
And you know, for me, I'm like, when when, Tory,
when when is that? When's that going to happen? So
I still had a little of the grouchy glazer me,
you know, you know, And that's what a lot of
us do. It's like we want things on our timeline
(03:42):
instead of the universe's timeline. And it's a lot better
to have faith in the universe no long Let the
universe conspires to help us and when it comes, it's
the right time.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Absolutely, Jane. I think the hardest thing for anyone and
it doesn't matter who you are, where you leave, what
your race or nationality is. It's surrendering to the process.
And I'm always liken it to going through a tunnel.
When you face a challenge, you want to switch your
mindset into seeing the possibilities, but often you can't see
them because the same lessons keep coming for you, and
(04:12):
they keep like kidding you again and again and again.
They're like, when am I going to get out of
the tunnel. But the trick is to surrender and recognize
and face the lesson, because once you face the lesson,
the light at the end of the tunnel starts shining
for you and you're able to walk through.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I want you to explain everybody who you are, because
Tory also came to visit America here recently.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
We had a heck of a day.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
With us in Chahn McVay and Cliff Kingsbury and Brett
Michaels over at the Soho else in Malibu.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
It's a really funny day.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
But when she first met with me, she said, you know,
when I'm meeting with people how to do things in America,
they want me to do things a certain way.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I'm going no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
You do things your way and we'll learn from you,
not the other way around. You don't need to conform
to us. You need to teach us what we don't know,
which is the Tory way. So just explain everybody who
you are. What you've done in your career before we
go into your book.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Yeah, fantastic, Jane. I love that it's giving yourself permission
to shine. So look, when I was twenty four, I
came back from London and I'd had this opportunity to
work with the world's best I guess in entertainment at
the time, like MTV, Nickelodeon, Showtime Networks, George Lucasfilms. I
came back into Australia and Australians were so far behind
(05:24):
with media, but I'd fallen in love with storytelling. I
was twenty four years old and no one would give
me a job, so I thought, fuck it, I'm going
to create my own. So twenty four years old, I
had no money, I had no media connections, but I
had this pure self belief that I could create and
build big brands for others. And I wanted to work
with the best of the best. And that meant, you know,
(05:45):
whether they were Fortune one hundred companies, whether they were
the biggest celebrities in the world, there were influencers. I
just knew within my heart and my soul that I
would attract them, but I would be able to do
extraordinary things with them. So twenty four years old, my
idea was rejected by many people and I just thought,
fuck it, I'm going to do it myself. So I
build a company. I build a reputation. It was based
(06:06):
and anchored on my values, which have always been passion, integrity,
and delivery. And people go why those three values, And
it's pretty simple. I was passionate about creating and building
brands for other people. I was also passionate about, you know,
how I could step up and step forward and use
my talents to help them. Integrity because I didn't want
to work for assholes. That was just a complete bono
(06:27):
to me.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
And then that's my own heart.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
The sad one was delivery and you will understand this
as well. It's your only as good as the last
podcast chat, the last project, you know, the last touchdown,
whatever it is in your life right which builds your reputation,
and my reputation quickly built. I was responsible for launching
some of the biggest brands in the world and actually
probably some of the most successful launchers in the world,
for brands like Zara. You know, I launched Zara in
(06:53):
to Australia and it's often written about one of the
most successful retail case studies in the world. We had
twenty two thousand people turn up in Sydney, Australia. Yeah,
a million dollars inside. Unbelievable in won day, won day,
in one day.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
It was unbelievable. And you know, I remember sitting there
with Harzuu Sekavira, who at that point in time was
the most powerful man in retail, and he just said,
you know, look around you, soak this in. It's not
about us, It's not about the brand. It's about the people.
And I really feel that when you understand that life
is not about you as a leader, that you are
(07:31):
just the conduit and you're there to help other people,
the magic happens. And literally after that launch, I worked
with every top brand, celebrity influencer in the world. I
build a staff of twenty two. But then, you know,
along the highway of life, you learn what lights you
up and what doesn't, and when to shift gears, and
when your passion wanes, you learn to dig deep inside
(07:53):
you and go, well, what's next for me? And so ironically,
the last three brands that we launched into Australia all
billion dollar brand were a Victoria's Secret, Steve Madden and
Drew Barrymore's Flower Beauty and I never had a photo
with a celebrity in my life. In fact, I don't
even think I've had a photo with you, Jay. I
just don't do it. It's not my jab. And my
daughter was a teenager at that point and she said, Mom,
(08:14):
I want to meet Drew Barrymore And I said really.
I said, we're just launching, you know, the Flower Beauty
brand into Australia, got an event at Icebergs and she says, no,
I want to be involved. I've never been involved in
anything like this. I want a photo, So you know,
I relented, had the day off school, and as soon
as my daughter had the photo with Drew and Drew
said come into the photo, I knew my career was over.
(08:35):
So that was twenty nineteen. And Drew taught me a
lot of things during our time together out here, because
she kept talking about owning the power of your story,
owning your truth, and in those twenty years building my brand,
I hadn't actually stepped forward and owned my truth. And
what she spoke about gave me permission to actually step forward.
(08:59):
And the perception that people had of me as this
you know, global publicist creating and building brands for others
was a complete opposite to what was going on behind
the scenes. And so career, yeah, like I had to
really I had to take a brave step forward and
I did. I shared my story with Murray Clare Magazine.
(09:20):
They turned into a three page feature and people were shocked.
They're like, we cannot believe that for twelve years of
your life, you're a single mom, You're being stalked, intimidated,
your life was threatened, You're in court six to eight
times a year fighting.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I don't want you to first word, you're being stocked
by who my ex.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Which was my good yeah, my daughters. Yeah, because I
stood up to a bully and said no, I'm not
going to be treated like that.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
When you were hiding it first, right, you hit it first,
and then you came You're the courage to come.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Forward while we were building these big brands.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Yeah. Yeah, So I feel like everyone has a success
in survival story that was mine and I always say
that moment when my daughter had her photograph taken and
I jumped into it. It was a pivotal moment because I
thought to myself, I can and I will do better.
And so what I did was I used the runway
(10:16):
of what I had created with Tour Star, which was
my agency and that credibility piece, to really reshape the
way I wanted to leave a legacy in the world,
the way I wanted to help other people to be
able to own their truth, for them to be able
to break through judgment patterns and to really step up
and into what they're meant to be doing in this lifetime.
(10:39):
And so I created powerful steps. I wrote the book
I Met You, and I'm on the podcast. That's the
short version.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
But here's why I want you to realize a couple
of things. I want to unpack your Number One, you said, okay,
we you know successfully through What do you say through suffering?
What was the term you used there? Said, it's my
successing through a struggle.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Right, not everybody, but not everybody that I don't want
you to just throw it away like it's.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
A normal, regular thing.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I want people here to understand and realize it's a
scary thing to do that when you're struggling, to say
I'm going to step up above it and shine through
that darkness. It's a scary thing for a lot of people.
So the fact that you did that, don't just throw
that away, Tori. That's a superpower that I wish more
women would look at and say, Okay, I could do
this as well, And I hope you've led them.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
To do that.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
I have because I think if you meet yourself in
your darkest moment and you're able to recognize how you
got there, but you're also able to ask for help,
which I think, Look, I'm a woman, and I know
it's hard for men to ask for help as well.
It was hard for me to ask for help. I
was in a leadership role. I had a lot of responsibility,
but I thought I could do it all on my own,
(11:46):
and what I recognized was I couldn't. And the moment
I asked for help was my breakthrough moment because I
was able to navigate the way forward. You know, when
you're had a team which is right and a breakable
Yeah yeah, but you were like me right, we're like
the lone wolves for so many years, you know things
are happening and people don't know. When you go home
(12:06):
and you're like, what the hell just happened? But you
can't share it with anyone. So I really believe like
when you get out of your own way and you
recognize that you have this beautiful, hot mess cord life
and the lessons that are meant for you are going
to keep coming for you until you learn that there's
a bigger and better world out there for you not
(12:26):
only to step into, but to add value to the
lives of others, because the more we share the power
of how we step through that mess with others, just
like you do on this podcast and on the book,
it's what it's doing is it's paying for that knowledge
to someone else so they can go you know what
she went through, that it's okay for me to go
through that, and it's giving yourself permission to go. A
(12:49):
small step is a powerful step. It doesn't mean that
Rome is building a day, but it does mean that
you get to the light at the end of the
tunnel a lot faster when you acknowledge that you need help.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Never throw away the courage it took for you to
Natalie step forward, but put.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It in the public eye.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
It's hard for it, that's scary for a lot of people,
but think how many women you help by doing that.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Yeah, you know what when that article came out because
it took it took my daughter and I four months
because the story also involved her and I really it
was not just my story to tell, it was hers.
We'd live through it together, and when we made the
decision to do it, it was nerve wracking and I
waited until Drew was on the plane back to America
(13:33):
and then this story came out, and then the TV
interviews and then everyone was like what But the best
thing happened. Now. A lot of people, when you come
forward with a story like that, they're afraid to comment publicly,
and what they do is they DM you, they call you,
and all of those brands that I was afraid would
judge me actually came out and said how can I
(13:55):
help you? This is really powerful toy, Like how can
we back this movement that you're going to be creating?
And so what I realized, what is that little black
rolodex of connections that I had with brands and influences
around the world. It was there for a reason, and
it was there for a reason so that I can
tap into them, ask them for help, and spread the
(14:17):
word that it's okay to talk about who you are.
Now I wouldn't be smiling like this if it was
back in twenty sixteen seventeen. I am now because I
know who I am and I'm not afraid of judgment.
So if you're stuck in that hot mess and you
think what are people going to think, it's like, just
get out of your own way, Like who cares?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
What a great lesson for everybody to hear. Just I'm
really proud of you, Agwa. I'm going to go back
a little bit. Here's the ADHD take it over. How'd
you get twenty two thousand people show up for Zara?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Oh? Wow? It was insane. So you know, I'm a
bit of a retail junkie and I had this idea
when I was twenty four years old, and if I
was going to work with the world's top retail brands,
I was going to travel the world and I was
going to go into the stores and I was going
to experience everything firsthand. So when I won that Czara account, ironically,
I was in LA when I got the call there
(15:09):
in Spain and my team was in Australia. I didn't
tell anyone. I worked three time zones over two weeks,
blew back into Australia, and I just I had this
passion and this fire, and because in those days, Australians
didn't really go and travel, you know, the way that
I was able to travel, and so they didn't know
what these big retail fast fashion stores were like. So
(15:32):
you know, I'm a passionate person. So I go into
these meetings and I, you know, my face a light up.
I've experienced this in Paris, in Rome, in Dubai, and
you know, that infectious energy that I had actually passed
on to the media. So when they were writing about it,
there was this real passion and buzz about you've got
to fly in, you've got to show up, and you know,
I don't really think that anyone expected twenty two thousand
(15:55):
people there on the day of launch, but it was
just extraordinary to be involved in a brand that when
I had ideas, they said no to, but I found
a way to navigate. So it's there's a very famous
story online about how no one was allowed into the
actual factories and warehouses in Spain that Zara had built.
(16:18):
And I worked with one of my friends who worked
in media, and she said, surely we can be the
first women in the world to gain access and show
everyone how these fast, you know brands are moving. And
I said, when they said no, but I feel yes,
there is a way in which they will say yes.
And so I write about it in the book. And
(16:39):
we were the first ever country to gain access behind
the scenes from Zara and so it's very old footage
online now, but they used to you know, bike rush
around to fulfill the orders. And you know, I think
having access to all of that footage as well, and
for the Australians to see just how these clothes were
(17:00):
coming into our market and the passion behind the scenes,
it all just added to the buzz. And so there
are people were flying in all around the world. We
had you know, TV crews from America, Asia, Europe there.
But the valuable lesson was this, because there were so
many customers. I'd say to Hazoos, CNBC wants to interview you.
(17:21):
He would be sweating up a storm where the customers
were buying the goods, packing the bags and ringing up
the tills and he'd stay to me, Tory, they've got
to wait, They've got to wait. They've got to wait.
And I said, really, and he goes, just look at
the magic that we're creating. We don't need the media
to do an interview with me right now. We need
to put the customers first. We need to serve them
(17:44):
because that's what the media is going to talk about
for years to come. And it was absolutely right, so
truly yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, but you also kind of let you kind of
built it up, built off the foe mall, like you
had to be there, right, the fear of missing out.
You had to be at something like this, which is
just brilliant on your own.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Yeah, it was really good. And look, I was always
the girl that was in black and wearing you know,
black claver pants and all the rest of it to
the launchers, and they said to me, you got to
wear a hot pink skirt. Don't wear a hot pink
skirt anyway. I woant his skirt and I wore it
to all of my media interviews when we're promoting the brand,
and people were like, if this brand got you out
of your pants into a skirt, it's worth writing about.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
It's also the power of the brand and when you
really connected to other people and you believe in the
passionate way that they're creating and building impact for others.
That's where you actually get the biggest bounce. And so
now you know all of that knowledge that I've got
working for all of these incredible brands, I now invest
in people and I love seeing them becoming their own
(18:50):
success story as well.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
All right, so let's talk about your book here. Self
belief is your superpower, unleash your life, purpose, own your
power of becoming magnet for America. Here, what's the biggest
takeaways from your book? Why people need to go on
by this book.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Yeah, we've had some incredible feedback day, and I guess
you know, everyone has really been touched by the authenticity
and the framework of not only how when you step
into your power the possibilities are there. But I think
the biggest takeaway and this is something that I was
taught after a new death experience a decade ago by
(19:26):
a surgeon. He said to me, Torry, life is never
going to get better unless you find happiness, and he
gave me this mantra, A happy heart is a magnet
for miracles. And I talk about it in the book
because as I started stripping out what no longer served
me like toxic people, toxic clients, toxic family, toxic friends,
(19:47):
all of a sudden, I started creating the space to
see the possibilities that were ahead of me. And the
happier I became, the high my vibration raised, and the
high my vibration raised, the bigger the opportunities that can
into my life. And so it's not to say that
the opportunities in you know, the first twenty years of
my life weren't amazing. They were absolutely incredible. I'm so
(20:08):
grateful for them. But since I started investing in happiness,
the opportunities just became more expansive. And you know, I
was finally able to attract the love of my life,
my soul, mad get my daughter into a really good position,
and build another successful business. And so the book is
all about sharing what that journey was like, but also
(20:29):
tapping into stories the people that I've met along the
highway of life, Like you shared your beautiful story. You know,
there are so many people that just everyday people that
I interviewed, but also a lot of high profile people
around the world that were willing to say, this was
my game changing moment, This was how I had to
own who I was, This is how I needed to
get out of my own way. And I think by
(20:52):
tapping into the power of other people's stories, it shows
you the possibilities. And it all comes back to self belief,
because self belief is it's a free tool. You don't
need to pay anyone for that. You just need to
tap into an internally.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That decision to be happy an overnight decision. We're like, hey,
because look, it only takes second to choose a new
path to choose happiness. Some people could do that. Some
people it takes over and over and over and over.
Was yours instantaneous? Was yours over a period of time.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
It was over a period of time. But this is
the best story that I can share. And it was
from a Buddhist monk in Thailand and he said to me, Tory,
you're sitting in a pretty big challenge and I said
I am, and he goes, I want you to imagine
that you're in that challenge and it's a big bag
of shit and it's like absolutely stinks, and you're like
wallowing in it. And he said, you got three choices,
(21:43):
and I was like, what are those choices? He said,
you're at the halfway mark of your life. You can
smell and sniff that ship for forty five years. If
you want, that's your choice. And I said, well, that's
not my choice. What's the next choice? And he said
forty five minutes. And I have to say, when I
came back from Thailand to off that trip, I would
look at challenges and go, God, oh, get out of
my own way forty five minutes boom. Or the third choice,
(22:06):
which is what I do now, is like forty five seconds.
You find a solution to the challenge and you just
move forward. And that's why my life is so in alignment.
So really the biggest takeaway is get out of your
own way and switch you thinking and find a solution
to the challenge in forty five seconds.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Give me another one of your favorite lesson on this book.
If you're going to say somebody else like you just
told this this, oh like one last thing for you, You've
got to hear this. What would it be?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Never give up? So I'm going to I'm going to
liken it to a dating story because I know a
lot to see.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You clear and give up. That's apliche.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
O got no, but this is a really good one.
I talk about it. I think it's in chapter two.
So for twelve years of my life because I had
a crazy X. I couldn't date right. I was just
I was like treading water, running a business, you know,
leading two lives. It was crazy. So in twenty seventeen,
I won full custody and a restaurant around, you know,
(23:02):
protecting my daughter and I, and all of a sudden,
there was like freedom, and I was thinking, gosh, now
I can date. What's that going to look like. So
we're at Lax, my daughter and I, and we got
onto bumble because everyone's like tory date like moved online.
I thought, you just picked up people in bars. This
is like life has moved on. And so I was
(23:24):
sitting at Lax and so I said, well, I'm going
to put three photos of myself and I'm going to
be from the last month because I've got to show
up authentically, and I'm just going to do one thing,
global global traveler, mama of one business owner, three words.
That's it. Nothing else. Let's see what happens. I get
back to Australia, I'm getting all these hits and these
really hot guys. I'm thinking this is amazing, but then
(23:46):
the eighteen thousand miles away and I'm thinking I can't
date them. I'm not back in America for another eight weeks.
So I had to get out of my comfort zone.
And my daughter said to me, Mom, when we get
to Sydney, because we land in Melbourne, we had a
connecting flight. When we get to Sydney. You know that
movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days with
Matthew mcconachie. She couldn't gonna switch it, and it's going
(24:06):
to be how to Win a Guy in five Dates,
because you don't have time to wait ten days. I
went to school and don't want to be on the
ride of life with you. So literally, I dated five
guys in six days because I needed one day off
because it was a little bit hectic. I learned so
much about myself on those five dates, and I write
about it in the book because every single time you
(24:28):
put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, you
learn what you want and what you don't want. And
so while those five dates and I did end up
dating one of the guys didn't turn out because I
thought I can accept moving forward with someone where it's
like seventy percent of what I want, which is not
I'm not the person to settle right I could accept
(24:49):
that or I could go no, I'm going to start again,
And so I swiped right again. I put the five
guys into the system and the first date was my
now husband.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh my god, I don't know I had that for
you guys that I had no idea.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
You had to go for it.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, like you can't hit.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
A home run, You can't hit a home run without
swinging the bat. You can't stick a bucket without actually
making the shot right trying to.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Before I let you go, I asked this hip all
my guests, and you've already kind of answered a couple
of these moments. But I mean, you can go back
to it also if you want, Well, what is your
unbreakable moment at the moment that really should have broken
you and didn't, and as a result, you came through
the other side of that tunnel stronger for the rest
of your life.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
So I was the ultimate people pleaser ultimate. I'd put
everyone first to myself last on the least. And I
was due on a flight to London and seventy two
hours before I left, my pandis first and unfortunately I
was in my house and alone, and my daughter had
changed the code on my phone. Because she was quite
(25:53):
young at the time, I couldn't call for help nothing.
I had to wait for someone to call me. Rushed
to emergency at two am in the morning. I had
set to see me up. Wow and yeah. So I
was under for I think it was almost close to
six hours and put on life support, lost eight kilos
in five days, woke up and it changed my life,
(26:18):
like it literally changed my life because I realized when
I was going in for that surgery, the surgeon asked me,
he goes, you know, you have time to go to
the bathroom whatever. And I remember, you know, just putting
my hands on the sink in the hospital bathroom because
he asked me, who's your next of kin? And if
you don't make it, what's the plan? And I was like, whoa,
(26:42):
you know, because I didn't have a willing place, I
had nothing. My daughter was my everything. I was a
single mom. I was like the sole provider who was
going to look after her. And I remember before lights
go out, when you're on that slab in the operating thing,
and I remember, you know, it was shown so clearly
(27:02):
to me, You've got a choice. You can either walk
through that tunnel to the other side and never come back,
or you can come back, and you're going to make
massive changes in your life. And so I chose in
that moment that I was going to survive what was
going on. They said it was going to be a
six month recovery, but in actual fact it was three
to four years because my body just did not like
(27:22):
it didn't respond. And what that taught me was that
I had so many takers in my life and I
had to remove them all, and one by one I
did that, and I liken it to this card that
I was given by that same Buddhist monk who told
(27:43):
me about the bag of shit. He picked one card
and he goes, this is you. You are the warrior Princess.
It's going to break through. And I was like, what
does that mean because there were all these shackles coming
off all of the body and the picture like this,
and he said, you're going to start saying no to
people and you're going to reclaim your power and you
have a powerful message to share with the world, and
that is what you're stepping into. And I will never
(28:06):
forget that. So that from something that could have, you know,
seen me late the world I ended up becoming a
lot stronger and more powerful within myself. And now my
life has just done such a three sixty that you know.
That's why I've got that happy heart. That's how I
attracted my soulmate. That's how I was able to walk
(28:28):
away from a successful career. That's how I'm able now
to teach other people because I have been that person.
You know, I've burnt to the ground, but I've also
risen like that phoenix because I believed that I could you.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Truly show that you're unbreakable. Hence the dame of the
podcast and the book.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Thank you so much, Jack, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
For walking this walk with us. Love it.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I am so proud and excited to be on this
journey with you. Could be more proud to call you
my friend and my sister.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
Oh that's so beautiful. Thank you for welcoming you mean
well and I just can't wait to create more magic
with you.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Very Archibal again. Self belief is your superpower. Unleash your life, purpose,
own your power.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Become a magnet for miracles, leavatory love.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
E Chan
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental health podcast
helping you out of the gray and into the blue.
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental health podcast with Jake
Glazier and the guest I have on and.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I'm gonna introducer in a couple of minutes.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Chare you all heard me talk about going overseas to
Thailand to really find myself and work on mind, body, spirit.
And this was a person I actually met on the
plane over there and we became fast friends. She wrote
a book. I'm in the book, but she is incredible.
She's helping Rosie and Renee with their business now. She
is an absolute gangster when it comes to the business world,
(00:44):
but the biggest heart in the world. And before I
introduce her, if you're like many people, you may be
supposed to learn that one in five adults in this
country experienced mental illness last year. Get far too many
failed to receive the support they need. Cayrol N Behavioral
Health is doing something on it. They understand the behavioral
health is a key part of whole health, delivering compassionate
(01:05):
care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social needs. In
tandem Carolin behavioral health, raising the quality of life through
empathy and action.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
So with that again, I want to bring in.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
This is the first guest I've had from overseas, I
believe on the Unbreakable podcast, Tory Archibald, who is my
spiritual gangster from overseas in Thailand.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
She's from Australia.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We linked up in Thailand and we become fast little
besties ever since.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
How you doing.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
I'm really good, Jay, And it's so great because I
love the fact that you lean in and check in
on your teammates. And after we left Thailand, you were like, hey,
teammate right, and been in my circle ever since. So
it's a great pleasure to be here today. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
So then Tory and I were we went to the
place called Kamalai in Thailand where how many times have
you gone?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I'm about to go eight times now and times yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Me to it.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I've talked a lot about what I've learned from the
monks over there. But listen, Torri here, who is a
huge person in the publicity world, PR world, marketing world,
not just in Australia but across the entire globe.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
But she were sitting at dinner, She's like, Jay, the
last thing you're missing and you're gonna get it this year.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's the last thing you're just missing love and you're
gonna get it this year.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
You're gonna find it this year.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
And sure enough, man, maybe she should become a tarret
card reader instead of, you know, a marketing maiden, because
she had it. She nailed it with Rosie and it
changed my life and she told me too, it will
change your life forever.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
And you know what, the one thing I don't tell
many people, and I think I did share it with
you when we're in Camalayas. I've always been able to
see the runway of life, and I believe anyone listening
to these podcasts can also see the runway of life
if you just take time out for yourself, you know.
And when we were in Kamalaya, I kept coming up
to you saying, I know it's coming, it's coming. And
then I get the email saying, oh my gosh, you know,
(03:04):
I'm engaged to Rosie, and I was over the moon
because I feel that if we can love ourselves from
the inside out, it's the best kind of love. And
it's this radiance and this energetic magic that matches us
with our soulmate. And I'm so grateful that that happened
to you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
And you and I were talking saying, you said just
that we have to love ourselves from the inside out.
I wouldn't be ready for love until I learned how
to do that. And I finally learned how to do it.
And you were like, oh, you're ready, Now you're ready,
And you know, for me, I'm like, when when, Tory,
when when is that? When's that going to happen? So
I still had a little of the grouchy glazer me,
you know, you know, And that's what a lot of
us do. It's like we want things on our timeline
(03:42):
instead of the universe's timeline. And it's a lot better
to have faith in the universe no long Let the
universe conspires to help us and when it comes, it's
the right time.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Absolutely, Jane. I think the hardest thing for anyone and
it doesn't matter who you are, where you leave, what
your race or nationality is. It's surrendering to the process.
And I'm always liken it to going through a tunnel.
When you face a challenge, you want to switch your
mindset into seeing the possibilities, but often you can't see
them because the same lessons keep coming for you, and
(04:12):
they keep like kidding you again and again and again.
They're like, when am I going to get out of
the tunnel. But the trick is to surrender and recognize
and face the lesson, because once you face the lesson,
the light at the end of the tunnel starts shining
for you and you're able to walk through.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I want you to explain everybody who you are, because
Tory also came to visit America here recently.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
We had a heck of a day.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
With us in Chahn McVay and Cliff Kingsbury and Brett
Michaels over at the Soho else in Malibu.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
It's a really funny day.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
But when she first met with me, she said, you know,
when I'm meeting with people how to do things in America,
they want me to do things a certain way.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I'm going no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
You do things your way and we'll learn from you,
not the other way around. You don't need to conform
to us. You need to teach us what we don't know,
which is the Tory way. So just explain everybody who
you are. What you've done in your career before we
go into your book.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Yeah, fantastic, Jane. I love that it's giving yourself permission
to shine. So look, when I was twenty four, I
came back from London and I'd had this opportunity to
work with the world's best I guess in entertainment at
the time, like MTV, Nickelodeon, Showtime Networks, George Lucasfilms. I
came back into Australia and Australians were so far behind
(05:24):
with media, but I'd fallen in love with storytelling. I
was twenty four years old and no one would give
me a job, so I thought, fuck it, I'm going
to create my own. So twenty four years old, I
had no money, I had no media connections, but I
had this pure self belief that I could create and
build big brands for others. And I wanted to work
with the best of the best. And that meant, you know,
(05:45):
whether they were Fortune one hundred companies, whether they were
the biggest celebrities in the world, there were influencers. I
just knew within my heart and my soul that I
would attract them, but I would be able to do
extraordinary things with them. So twenty four years old, my
idea was rejected by many people and I just thought,
fuck it, I'm going to do it myself. So I
build a company. I build a reputation. It was based
(06:06):
and anchored on my values, which have always been passion, integrity,
and delivery. And people go why those three values, And
it's pretty simple. I was passionate about creating and building
brands for other people. I was also passionate about, you know,
how I could step up and step forward and use
my talents to help them. Integrity because I didn't want
to work for assholes. That was just a complete bono
(06:27):
to me.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
And then that's my own heart.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
The sad one was delivery and you will understand this
as well. It's your only as good as the last
podcast chat, the last project, you know, the last touchdown,
whatever it is in your life right which builds your reputation,
and my reputation quickly built. I was responsible for launching
some of the biggest brands in the world and actually
probably some of the most successful launchers in the world,
for brands like Zara. You know, I launched Zara in
(06:53):
to Australia and it's often written about one of the
most successful retail case studies in the world. We had
twenty two thousand people turn up in Sydney, Australia. Yeah,
a million dollars inside. Unbelievable in won day, won day,
in one day.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
It was unbelievable. And you know, I remember sitting there
with Harzuu Sekavira, who at that point in time was
the most powerful man in retail, and he just said,
you know, look around you, soak this in. It's not
about us, It's not about the brand. It's about the people.
And I really feel that when you understand that life
is not about you as a leader, that you are
(07:31):
just the conduit and you're there to help other people,
the magic happens. And literally after that launch, I worked
with every top brand, celebrity influencer in the world. I
build a staff of twenty two. But then, you know,
along the highway of life, you learn what lights you
up and what doesn't, and when to shift gears, and
when your passion wanes, you learn to dig deep inside
(07:53):
you and go, well, what's next for me? And so ironically,
the last three brands that we launched into Australia all
billion dollar brand were a Victoria's Secret, Steve Madden and
Drew Barrymore's Flower Beauty and I never had a photo
with a celebrity in my life. In fact, I don't
even think I've had a photo with you, Jay. I
just don't do it. It's not my jab. And my
daughter was a teenager at that point and she said, Mom,
(08:14):
I want to meet Drew Barrymore And I said really.
I said, we're just launching, you know, the Flower Beauty
brand into Australia, got an event at Icebergs and she says, no,
I want to be involved. I've never been involved in
anything like this. I want a photo, So you know,
I relented, had the day off school, and as soon
as my daughter had the photo with Drew and Drew
said come into the photo, I knew my career was over.
(08:35):
So that was twenty nineteen. And Drew taught me a
lot of things during our time together out here, because
she kept talking about owning the power of your story,
owning your truth, and in those twenty years building my brand,
I hadn't actually stepped forward and owned my truth. And
what she spoke about gave me permission to actually step forward.
(08:59):
And the perception that people had of me as this
you know, global publicist creating and building brands for others
was a complete opposite to what was going on behind
the scenes. And so career, yeah, like I had to
really I had to take a brave step forward and
I did. I shared my story with Murray Clare Magazine.
(09:20):
They turned into a three page feature and people were shocked.
They're like, we cannot believe that for twelve years of
your life, you're a single mom, You're being stalked, intimidated,
your life was threatened, You're in court six to eight
times a year fighting.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I don't want you to first word, you're being stocked
by who my ex.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Which was my good yeah, my daughters. Yeah, because I
stood up to a bully and said no, I'm not
going to be treated like that.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
When you were hiding it first, right, you hit it first,
and then you came You're the courage to come.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Forward while we were building these big brands.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Yeah. Yeah, So I feel like everyone has a success
in survival story that was mine and I always say
that moment when my daughter had her photograph taken and
I jumped into it. It was a pivotal moment because I
thought to myself, I can and I will do better.
And so what I did was I used the runway
(10:16):
of what I had created with Tour Star, which was
my agency and that credibility piece, to really reshape the
way I wanted to leave a legacy in the world,
the way I wanted to help other people to be
able to own their truth, for them to be able
to break through judgment patterns and to really step up
and into what they're meant to be doing in this lifetime.
(10:39):
And so I created powerful steps. I wrote the book
I Met You, and I'm on the podcast. That's the
short version.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
But here's why I want you to realize a couple
of things. I want to unpack your Number One, you said, okay,
we you know successfully through What do you say through suffering?
What was the term you used there? Said, it's my
successing through a struggle.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Right, not everybody, but not everybody that I don't want
you to just throw it away like it's.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
A normal, regular thing.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I want people here to understand and realize it's a
scary thing to do that when you're struggling, to say
I'm going to step up above it and shine through
that darkness. It's a scary thing for a lot of people.
So the fact that you did that, don't just throw
that away, Tori. That's a superpower that I wish more
women would look at and say, Okay, I could do
this as well, And I hope you've led them.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
To do that.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
I have because I think if you meet yourself in
your darkest moment and you're able to recognize how you
got there, but you're also able to ask for help,
which I think, Look, I'm a woman, and I know
it's hard for men to ask for help as well.
It was hard for me to ask for help. I
was in a leadership role. I had a lot of responsibility,
but I thought I could do it all on my own,
(11:46):
and what I recognized was I couldn't. And the moment
I asked for help was my breakthrough moment because I
was able to navigate the way forward. You know, when
you're had a team which is right and a breakable
Yeah yeah, but you were like me right, we're like
the lone wolves for so many years, you know things
are happening and people don't know. When you go home
(12:06):
and you're like, what the hell just happened? But you
can't share it with anyone. So I really believe like
when you get out of your own way and you
recognize that you have this beautiful, hot mess cord life
and the lessons that are meant for you are going
to keep coming for you until you learn that there's
a bigger and better world out there for you not
(12:26):
only to step into, but to add value to the
lives of others, because the more we share the power
of how we step through that mess with others, just
like you do on this podcast and on the book,
it's what it's doing is it's paying for that knowledge
to someone else so they can go you know what
she went through, that it's okay for me to go
through that, and it's giving yourself permission to go. A
(12:49):
small step is a powerful step. It doesn't mean that
Rome is building a day, but it does mean that
you get to the light at the end of the
tunnel a lot faster when you acknowledge that you need help.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Never throw away the courage it took for you to
Natalie step forward, but put.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It in the public eye.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
It's hard for it, that's scary for a lot of people,
but think how many women you help by doing that.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Yeah, you know what when that article came out because
it took it took my daughter and I four months
because the story also involved her and I really it
was not just my story to tell, it was hers.
We'd live through it together, and when we made the
decision to do it, it was nerve wracking and I
waited until Drew was on the plane back to America
(13:33):
and then this story came out, and then the TV
interviews and then everyone was like what But the best
thing happened. Now. A lot of people, when you come
forward with a story like that, they're afraid to comment publicly,
and what they do is they DM you, they call you,
and all of those brands that I was afraid would
judge me actually came out and said how can I
(13:55):
help you? This is really powerful toy, Like how can
we back this movement that you're going to be creating?
And so what I realized, what is that little black
rolodex of connections that I had with brands and influences
around the world. It was there for a reason, and
it was there for a reason so that I can
tap into them, ask them for help, and spread the
(14:17):
word that it's okay to talk about who you are.
Now I wouldn't be smiling like this if it was
back in twenty sixteen seventeen. I am now because I
know who I am and I'm not afraid of judgment.
So if you're stuck in that hot mess and you
think what are people going to think, it's like, just
get out of your own way, Like who cares?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
What a great lesson for everybody to hear. Just I'm
really proud of you, Agwa. I'm going to go back
a little bit. Here's the ADHD take it over. How'd
you get twenty two thousand people show up for Zara?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Oh? Wow? It was insane. So you know, I'm a
bit of a retail junkie and I had this idea
when I was twenty four years old, and if I
was going to work with the world's top retail brands,
I was going to travel the world and I was
going to go into the stores and I was going
to experience everything firsthand. So when I won that Czara account, ironically,
I was in LA when I got the call there
(15:09):
in Spain and my team was in Australia. I didn't
tell anyone. I worked three time zones over two weeks,
blew back into Australia, and I just I had this
passion and this fire, and because in those days, Australians
didn't really go and travel, you know, the way that
I was able to travel, and so they didn't know
what these big retail fast fashion stores were like. So
(15:32):
you know, I'm a passionate person. So I go into
these meetings and I, you know, my face a light up.
I've experienced this in Paris, in Rome, in Dubai, and
you know, that infectious energy that I had actually passed
on to the media. So when they were writing about it,
there was this real passion and buzz about you've got
to fly in, you've got to show up, and you know,
I don't really think that anyone expected twenty two thousand
(15:55):
people there on the day of launch, but it was
just extraordinary to be involved in a brand that when
I had ideas, they said no to, but I found
a way to navigate. So it's there's a very famous
story online about how no one was allowed into the
actual factories and warehouses in Spain that Zara had built.
(16:18):
And I worked with one of my friends who worked
in media, and she said, surely we can be the
first women in the world to gain access and show
everyone how these fast, you know brands are moving. And
I said, when they said no, but I feel yes,
there is a way in which they will say yes.
And so I write about it in the book. And
(16:39):
we were the first ever country to gain access behind
the scenes from Zara and so it's very old footage
online now, but they used to you know, bike rush
around to fulfill the orders. And you know, I think
having access to all of that footage as well, and
for the Australians to see just how these clothes were
(17:00):
coming into our market and the passion behind the scenes,
it all just added to the buzz. And so there
are people were flying in all around the world. We
had you know, TV crews from America, Asia, Europe there.
But the valuable lesson was this, because there were so
many customers. I'd say to Hazoos, CNBC wants to interview you.
(17:21):
He would be sweating up a storm where the customers
were buying the goods, packing the bags and ringing up
the tills and he'd stay to me, Tory, they've got
to wait, They've got to wait. They've got to wait.
And I said, really, and he goes, just look at
the magic that we're creating. We don't need the media
to do an interview with me right now. We need
to put the customers first. We need to serve them
(17:44):
because that's what the media is going to talk about
for years to come. And it was absolutely right, so
truly yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, but you also kind of let you kind of
built it up, built off the foe mall, like you
had to be there, right, the fear of missing out.
You had to be at something like this, which is
just brilliant on your own.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Yeah, it was really good. And look, I was always
the girl that was in black and wearing you know,
black claver pants and all the rest of it to
the launchers, and they said to me, you got to
wear a hot pink skirt. Don't wear a hot pink
skirt anyway. I woant his skirt and I wore it
to all of my media interviews when we're promoting the brand,
and people were like, if this brand got you out
of your pants into a skirt, it's worth writing about.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
It's also the power of the brand and when you
really connected to other people and you believe in the
passionate way that they're creating and building impact for others.
That's where you actually get the biggest bounce. And so
now you know all of that knowledge that I've got
working for all of these incredible brands, I now invest
in people and I love seeing them becoming their own
(18:50):
success story as well.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
All right, so let's talk about your book here. Self
belief is your superpower, unleash your life, purpose, own your
power of becoming magnet for America. Here, what's the biggest
takeaways from your book? Why people need to go on
by this book.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Yeah, we've had some incredible feedback day, and I guess
you know, everyone has really been touched by the authenticity
and the framework of not only how when you step
into your power the possibilities are there. But I think
the biggest takeaway and this is something that I was
taught after a new death experience a decade ago by
(19:26):
a surgeon. He said to me, Torry, life is never
going to get better unless you find happiness, and he
gave me this mantra, A happy heart is a magnet
for miracles. And I talk about it in the book
because as I started stripping out what no longer served
me like toxic people, toxic clients, toxic family, toxic friends,
(19:47):
all of a sudden, I started creating the space to
see the possibilities that were ahead of me. And the
happier I became, the high my vibration raised, and the
high my vibration raised, the bigger the opportunities that can
into my life. And so it's not to say that
the opportunities in you know, the first twenty years of
my life weren't amazing. They were absolutely incredible. I'm so
(20:08):
grateful for them. But since I started investing in happiness,
the opportunities just became more expansive. And you know, I
was finally able to attract the love of my life,
my soul, mad get my daughter into a really good position,
and build another successful business. And so the book is
all about sharing what that journey was like, but also
(20:29):
tapping into stories the people that I've met along the
highway of life, Like you shared your beautiful story. You know,
there are so many people that just everyday people that
I interviewed, but also a lot of high profile people
around the world that were willing to say, this was
my game changing moment, This was how I had to
own who I was, This is how I needed to
get out of my own way. And I think by
(20:52):
tapping into the power of other people's stories, it shows
you the possibilities. And it all comes back to self belief,
because self belief is it's a free tool. You don't
need to pay anyone for that. You just need to
tap into an internally.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That decision to be happy an overnight decision. We're like, hey,
because look, it only takes second to choose a new
path to choose happiness. Some people could do that. Some
people it takes over and over and over and over.
Was yours instantaneous? Was yours over a period of time.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
It was over a period of time. But this is
the best story that I can share. And it was
from a Buddhist monk in Thailand and he said to me, Tory,
you're sitting in a pretty big challenge and I said
I am, and he goes, I want you to imagine
that you're in that challenge and it's a big bag
of shit and it's like absolutely stinks, and you're like
wallowing in it. And he said, you got three choices,
(21:43):
and I was like, what are those choices? He said,
you're at the halfway mark of your life. You can
smell and sniff that ship for forty five years. If
you want, that's your choice. And I said, well, that's
not my choice. What's the next choice? And he said
forty five minutes. And I have to say, when I
came back from Thailand to off that trip, I would
look at challenges and go, God, oh, get out of
my own way forty five minutes boom. Or the third choice,
(22:06):
which is what I do now, is like forty five seconds.
You find a solution to the challenge and you just
move forward. And that's why my life is so in alignment.
So really the biggest takeaway is get out of your
own way and switch you thinking and find a solution
to the challenge in forty five seconds.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Give me another one of your favorite lesson on this book.
If you're going to say somebody else like you just
told this this, oh like one last thing for you, You've
got to hear this. What would it be?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Never give up? So I'm going to I'm going to
liken it to a dating story because I know a
lot to see.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You clear and give up. That's apliche.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
O got no, but this is a really good one.
I talk about it. I think it's in chapter two.
So for twelve years of my life because I had
a crazy X. I couldn't date right. I was just
I was like treading water, running a business, you know,
leading two lives. It was crazy. So in twenty seventeen,
I won full custody and a restaurant around, you know,
(23:02):
protecting my daughter and I, and all of a sudden,
there was like freedom, and I was thinking, gosh, now
I can date. What's that going to look like. So
we're at Lax, my daughter and I, and we got
onto bumble because everyone's like tory date like moved online.
I thought, you just picked up people in bars. This
is like life has moved on. And so I was
(23:24):
sitting at Lax and so I said, well, I'm going
to put three photos of myself and I'm going to
be from the last month because I've got to show
up authentically, and I'm just going to do one thing,
global global traveler, mama of one business owner, three words.
That's it. Nothing else. Let's see what happens. I get
back to Australia, I'm getting all these hits and these
really hot guys. I'm thinking this is amazing, but then
(23:46):
the eighteen thousand miles away and I'm thinking I can't
date them. I'm not back in America for another eight weeks.
So I had to get out of my comfort zone.
And my daughter said to me, Mom, when we get
to Sydney, because we land in Melbourne, we had a
connecting flight. When we get to Sydney. You know that
movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days with
Matthew mcconachie. She couldn't gonna switch it, and it's going
(24:06):
to be how to Win a Guy in five Dates,
because you don't have time to wait ten days. I
went to school and don't want to be on the
ride of life with you. So literally, I dated five
guys in six days because I needed one day off
because it was a little bit hectic. I learned so
much about myself on those five dates, and I write
about it in the book because every single time you
(24:28):
put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, you
learn what you want and what you don't want. And
so while those five dates and I did end up
dating one of the guys didn't turn out because I
thought I can accept moving forward with someone where it's
like seventy percent of what I want, which is not
I'm not the person to settle right I could accept
(24:49):
that or I could go no, I'm going to start again,
And so I swiped right again. I put the five
guys into the system and the first date was my
now husband.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh my god, I don't know I had that for
you guys that I had no idea.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
You had to go for it.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, like you can't hit.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
A home run, You can't hit a home run without
swinging the bat. You can't stick a bucket without actually
making the shot right trying to.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Before I let you go, I asked this hip all
my guests, and you've already kind of answered a couple
of these moments. But I mean, you can go back
to it also if you want, Well, what is your
unbreakable moment at the moment that really should have broken
you and didn't, and as a result, you came through
the other side of that tunnel stronger for the rest
of your life.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
So I was the ultimate people pleaser ultimate. I'd put
everyone first to myself last on the least. And I
was due on a flight to London and seventy two
hours before I left, my pandis first and unfortunately I
was in my house and alone, and my daughter had
changed the code on my phone. Because she was quite
(25:53):
young at the time, I couldn't call for help nothing.
I had to wait for someone to call me. Rushed
to emergency at two am in the morning. I had
set to see me up. Wow and yeah. So I
was under for I think it was almost close to
six hours and put on life support, lost eight kilos
in five days, woke up and it changed my life,
(26:18):
like it literally changed my life because I realized when
I was going in for that surgery, the surgeon asked me,
he goes, you know, you have time to go to
the bathroom whatever. And I remember, you know, just putting
my hands on the sink in the hospital bathroom because
he asked me, who's your next of kin? And if
you don't make it, what's the plan? And I was like, whoa,
(26:42):
you know, because I didn't have a willing place, I
had nothing. My daughter was my everything. I was a
single mom. I was like the sole provider who was
going to look after her. And I remember before lights
go out, when you're on that slab in the operating thing,
and I remember, you know, it was shown so clearly
(27:02):
to me, You've got a choice. You can either walk
through that tunnel to the other side and never come back,
or you can come back, and you're going to make
massive changes in your life. And so I chose in
that moment that I was going to survive what was
going on. They said it was going to be a
six month recovery, but in actual fact it was three
to four years because my body just did not like
(27:22):
it didn't respond. And what that taught me was that
I had so many takers in my life and I
had to remove them all, and one by one I
did that, and I liken it to this card that
I was given by that same Buddhist monk who told
(27:43):
me about the bag of shit. He picked one card
and he goes, this is you. You are the warrior Princess.
It's going to break through. And I was like, what
does that mean because there were all these shackles coming
off all of the body and the picture like this,
and he said, you're going to start saying no to
people and you're going to reclaim your power and you
have a powerful message to share with the world, and
that is what you're stepping into. And I will never
(28:06):
forget that. So that from something that could have, you know,
seen me late the world I ended up becoming a
lot stronger and more powerful within myself. And now my
life has just done such a three sixty that you know.
That's why I've got that happy heart. That's how I
attracted my soulmate. That's how I was able to walk
(28:28):
away from a successful career. That's how I'm able now
to teach other people because I have been that person.
You know, I've burnt to the ground, but I've also
risen like that phoenix because I believed that I could you.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Truly show that you're unbreakable. Hence the dame of the
podcast and the book.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Thank you so much, Jack, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
For walking this walk with us. Love it.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I am so proud and excited to be on this
journey with you. Could be more proud to call you
my friend and my sister.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
Oh that's so beautiful. Thank you for welcoming you mean
well and I just can't wait to create more magic
with you.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Very Archibal again. Self belief is your superpower. Unleash your life, purpose,
own your power.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Become a magnet for miracles, leavatory love.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
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