March 18, 2022 • 49 mins
Subscribe, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837
A fun Friday with no phone guest! Ben Maller and his 5th Hour co-host Danny G. take you behind the scenes, with a humorous conversation about Davante Adams, Indiana Jones, Weird Science, racist avocados, song time, the cutting room floor, and more!
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com boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
(03:19):
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House
of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air
every way it is the Fifth Hour with I, Ben
(03:39):
Mallor and Danny G Radio because four hours a night
are not enough. We do this eight days a week
and a Friday podcast. Now. Normally on Friday we have
someone in here and I shoot the crap with them
and someone who either I know or I want to
get to know a little bit better. But this week
(03:59):
is different. This is not like the normal week. Oh hell,
now that's right, because by popular demand, the listeners of
the Fifth Hour podcasts have said, Mallard, nobody wants to
hear these interviews every week. We need more Danny G Radio.
Clamoring for more Danny G Radio after he gave that
(04:20):
amazing story last week of the the head Tinderoni there
jumps up onto the massage table, straddles my girl, sits
on my girl's rare end, is going to town on
(04:41):
her and and was kept slapping her, even slapped her ass.
What went wrong at the massage parlor? So, by popular demand,
an entire weekend of Danny G with Me on the
Fifth Hour. So Danny, give the people what they want. Danny,
(05:03):
give them what they want here. I guess that's what
happens when you tell NC seventeen rated stories. Yeah, here
I am Danny. I'm thinking boy, I really nailed it
on that podcast. You know, it was a great pod
and no, it was, Oh my god, I love Danny.
That was the greatest story ever and on all that
and I'm like, well, what about me? You know what
(05:23):
about me? And nothing really cares about you, All about
Danny j It's all about that X rated. They loved,
they loved that story. Danny was amazed. We're only here
because of you. And now my tender rowning asked me
if she should make another appointment so that we have
more content. She used the word content too. It's good.
(05:46):
She's in the business now, she's bias Moses. She's learning
about all of the craziness that happens in all the
nonsense that surprised mother. It is rather crazy. But anyway,
on this edition of The Fifth Hour, we've got uh
stories from the last few days and whatnot, more of that,
(06:08):
whatever pops I got, I've got Indiana Jones, Weird Science
will tell a tale about avocados. We've got song Time
and Cutting Room Floriday. This is an amazing amount of content,
absolutely free. Nobody had to pay a dollar for what.
You actually have to have a device to hear it.
(06:30):
But you have that anyway, right, So you know what
I want to talk about on this Friday morning, Davante Adams. Yeah. Ben,
you've been preaching because of your rams about how draft
picks don't matter, and I know it's not what we
do on this podcast, so I'm sure you'll talk about
it on Sunday night. But you did tweet about how
(06:51):
Adams to the Raiders bumped March Madness from the front page.
It was wonderful. Yeah, And you tweeted how Aaron Rodgers
packet was broken. Um, but you forgot to tweet about
how the Raiders are now one of the Super Bowl favorites.
Calm down, Calm down that baby, all right. So we'll
(07:11):
start with this. The other night, it was a normal
night at Casa mallor the Mallard mansion. All all stories
started out like there was just a normal night and
then one thing, let do another and a normal night
became abnormal. The abnormal was now normal. So let me
explain what happened. So, um, you know, these are these
(07:31):
are first world radio problems. So imagine if you I'm
just normally preparing for the show like I I do.
I have a routine, I have a Cadence. I've been
doing this for a long time, not that I'm great
at it, but I kind of have the same routine
every day. Certain parts of the day, I do certain things,
and I got everything down. I get any set. I
changed my schedule a couple of years ago when we
(07:51):
started doing the show from the home studio, and so
I have that down now. I'm very comfortable. I I
have my routine, and so I'm doing my normal thing.
You're like a well oiled machine exactly exactly. So I'm
I'm ready to do my thing and on the normal
MIDWEKND and so I'm getting ready. I kind of map
out the show in my head. I have an idea.
(08:13):
I start out with a lot of possibilities, and then,
as you know Danny from for doing this a long time,
you kind of whittle things down. It's like starting with
a block of wood and you kind of wheel stuff
away and you're like, all right, what do I want
to make this to be? What make it your masterpiece?
And so I'm doing that. I had a pretty good
idea of what I wanted to go with, and I
(08:34):
started jotting down some chicken scratch for the monologue, notes
for the monologues, and I I got to the point
in the process, trust the process. As they say in
Philadelphia that weasel Sam Hankey so the old GM there.
So anyway, so I was like, I'm good. And there's
a term we use from time to time. It's called,
you know, putting the baby to bed. And that's the
(08:55):
point where you've done everything you can do for the show.
You've got everything ready, you're prepared. Now you just have
to wait for showtime and you just you got some time.
Possibly you'll kill it's your industry jargon put the baby
to bed. So I had finished my copious amounts of research.
I had everything mapped out. I had a great battle
plan and the sun Zoo the Art of War, and
(09:17):
I'm gonna settle in, and i'd like to know before
the show. I'd like to settle in. And I'm a loser.
I watched some NBA games. I flip around, watch some
NBA games whatever whatever sports are on. And it happened
to me that night NBA was on there a couple
of games, and so I'm watching and then boom, all
of a sudden, oh no, it's a five alarm fire
bell sounding. What is this? What is this lights and
(09:41):
sirens in our world? Freddie Freeman had agreed to sign
a contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers, which meant my
mapping of the show well didn't go so well, so
I had to had to add live Daddy had to
(10:03):
do some improv And it's one of the great quotes
from Indiana Jones with my memorable movies when I was
a kid. Remember that scene from Indiana Jones where Indiana
somebody asked Indie, uh, you know, what are you gonna
do next? And his reply was, I don't know, I'm
making it up as we go along, and that was
(10:25):
kind of, you know, just kind of free. So I'm
now I was excited. I was happy. I'm a Dodging fan,
you're a Dodger fan, so I was happy about all this.
But still I was like, I was texting the guys.
I was like, couldn't this happen, Like, you know, four
o'clock in the afternoon, five o'clock, six o'clock, seven o'clock,
didn't have to happen right before the show, And well,
it did have to happen right before the show, and
(10:45):
it did happen. And so this happens every once I'm
normally doing the overnight show. There's not much things usually
shut down when the East Coach shut down. That's mostly
when things shut down. So, now, did you get covered
up for the first hour of your show by the
Flamethrower a M five seventy l A Sports. Did they
bring Steve Saxon? I used to worry about that stuff,
(11:13):
but I have not. I've not spent too much time.
I just do my stay stay in, you're light and
uh so, I don't worry. Sometimes we've gotten covered up
by Clipper postgame talk. That's happened occasionally, that the NBA
games seem to be ending sooner um. But yeah, we're guaranteed.
Like during baseball season on our flagship in l A
AM five seventy Dodger Station, we are guaranteed there'll be
(11:35):
one or two games in San Diego or San Francisco
or Colorado, Arizona that will go until two in the morning.
The entire show will be covered up by you know, raining,
They'll be raining, not in Arizona, but in in San Francisco,
Colorado or or l or San Diego. So that's guaranteed. Happened,
But yeah, I don't know it was. It was interesting,
interesting night, and hopefully Freddie Freeman works out. Well, it
(11:58):
ain't my money, so good law, and I think for
the next couple of years it should be good. After that,
you know, that's somebody else's problem right there. We don't
need to worry about. Man. I wanted to go to
the MLB All Star Game this year since it's here
in l A. What are those tickets gonna look like? Now? Yeah, well,
I'm hoping to go to that and not in the media,
(12:20):
but my man, Marlin's Man. A couple of years ago,
Marlin's Man invited me to the All Star Game at
Dodger Staffs sit right behind him at home plate. We
had it all planned out and then that freaking COVID
thing took place and then that shut it down. So
I'm hoping. I'm still texting Marlins Man from time to time,
so we're still a casual friends. He'll send me messages
(12:41):
from random college basketball games. He's hat or whatever, So
I'm hoping we're good. I'm hoping, but I don't think
he responded last time. When Derek Jeter left the Marlins,
I sent him a text saying, you're my pick to
be the New New Marlins executive. He didn't respond. I
think he might have been upset by that. So I hope,
I hope we're still on good terms. But but I
don't know, no idea what you were trying to keep
(13:04):
that bottle of milk warm? Yeah, you know, I just
check in, just see what's going on from time. But
he'll he'll send me like random Martin's Man, I'll send
me a random messages from time. No, it's just kind
of cool, you know. It's it's nice that he's thinking
about me. All right, So weird science. So we go
to the bag of email early this week, Danny a
little bag of email earlier than normal here, and this
(13:26):
one came from Alex in the Netherlands. Alex in the Netherlands,
he says, Ben, thanks for the shout out about a
month back. He's been listening, Danny, to the nonsense that
I have done and you have been part of for
a long time, sixteen plus years. He's still listening. He
and Alex has a very interesting story. I've talked about
(13:49):
him a few times over the years. But he does
high level in his own words, he does high level
science research. It's not trigonometry and he has lived all
over Europe and all over the world. And uh he
he does the scientific research and he says he loves
the crew and the collars. He said, now he I
think he was in Germany before he now in the Netherlands.
(14:12):
And he said some nice things to me that he said,
grew up in southern California and Laguna Beach, so he's
an O C guy like I am. And uh, he
did offer. And this is interesting the reason I brought
this up, Danny, you know, weird science and all that.
He says, let me know if you ever need a
quantum physics expert, keep on entertainings Alex in the Netherlands.
(14:33):
And so it got me thinking, Danny, I mean I
did respond to Alex. I did right back to him.
I don't know if he's written back or not. Maybe
I missed it, but he I said to him and said, hey,
you know, I put you on, but you gotta be
relatable to the you know, the meat head sports radioist.
You gotta can you dumb it down enough? That's the key.
If he could do it, I'd love to have him
(14:54):
on if he could explain. And I'm not that bright either.
If you could explain to me and make me understand
the kind of stuff that he's involved in. I think
that would be pretty interesting. I'd like to learn more
about that. But if he's gonna talk a bunch of
science mumbo jumbo, I don't know if that's gonna be
uh something we want to be part of. Right, he
could help us get Kelly Lebron out of our home computer,
(15:16):
then we'd be interested. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he's
dealing with like nuclear codes or something like that. I
don't know what he's got going on. I have no idea,
but he's he's got stuff going on there, and it's
it's sounds interesting to me. That's a pretty impressive title,
quantum physics. My head spins just thinking about My eyeballs
go to the back of my head thinking about quantum physics.
(15:37):
But that's the world he's in. That's his world, and
and it's outstanding. I love that that guys like that
listen and I get emails some people like this every
once in a while that are that are fans. And
then you know, you you juxtapose that with the people
that call the show, and it's fascinating dichotomy between you know,
the certain people that there are are the casual listeners,
(15:59):
but they don't they don't contribute content usually, and then
the people that call all the time. So it's kind
of like when we will watch something where you don't
have to have your brain on whatsoever, like a bad
reality show or sixty Day Marriage or something like that,
it makes you feel normal and better about yourself because
you're watching all these losers on that TV show. Yeah,
(16:21):
for sure, for sure. Now I did get another email
that I don't know if I want to get into
this now. We'll save her for later. But this guy's
like he thinks that there was this guy that used
to email the show when Gascon was on the podcast,
and he named I'm a Pilot and he would tell
these stories about he flew to like China during COVID
early on and he had he got put in quarantine
(16:43):
on a Chinese hotel and he got taken by people
in space suits and amazing stories. And so there's there's
a guy that's been emailing me saying that guy's a fake.
That was Gascon pretending to be I'm a Pilot and
I was I don't believe it was because I the
guy had emailed me, he hadn't emailed in a long time.
I unless I mean guests. Maybe he's diabolical and had
a different email acount, but I'm pretty sure I know
(17:06):
information about I'm a Pilot. I will try to get
ahold of him, just to see what's going on with him,
because he's not email the show. But I do not
believe that is a As much as I'd love to
believe that that that's guests gone pretending to be I'm
a Pilot, I do not believe that to be true.
Guess guys west of the four or five and all
that loves to brag about that stuff. Very pompous and
(17:27):
all that, but even that's a bridge too far. I
don't think you're gonna start a fake email account and
pretend to be, you know, a pilot and send photos
and it seems a lot. That's a lot of extra
work that you don't need to do. So anyway, So
the avocados, the price of avocados, The price of everything's
gone up, including avocados. We have a tale of avocados.
(17:49):
What is this all about, day, Well, it might surprise
you how I get to the avocados. It's more about
the drop that we use on the show. Racist. Oh cool,
of course you're very popular racist. Oh yeah, you hear
the drop right there? Out of context? Racist drops? Oh
my god. Yeah, yeah, like the white cheeto puffs. Yes, yes, exactly.
(18:13):
So yeah, that drop will come into play on our
show from time to time. So you know, this past week,
starting Monday, was the first day in California that masks
were optional at all of our schools. Thank god. Oh yeah,
we talked about this a little bit last weekend. I
(18:33):
go to the kindergarteners at lunchtime and I'm thinking of myself. Man, today,
it's gonna be fun because these kids have no filters.
They don't know what I look like. This is like
an episode of the Twilight Zone where everyone's like wearing masks.
Remember that episode? Maybe not, I'm a I'm a nerd.
I used to watch the Twilight Zone as a kid.
(18:54):
But they had an episode where like everyone was a
very mask and then they, if I remember it correctly
as I remember, they pulled the mask off and then
they had like weird faces and here you looking faces
and they didn't look normal. It was a while. Well yeah,
and it was super strange because I swear to God,
there were co workers. I had never seen their faces before. Yeah,
(19:15):
so I'm looking at certain people and I'm like, that's
what he looks like, that's what she looks like. It
was just so odd. I get out to the campus.
I had my bit already prepared in my mind. I said, Okay,
what I'm gonna do with these little kindergarteners is when
they start talking to me, I'm gonna play it off
like I don't recognize them until I cover up with
(19:37):
my hand their mouth in their lower nose area, so
you know, oh, now, okay, Oh that's good. That's a smart.
That's a smart And then all of a sudden, you
like Rick Flair. Yea. So they were loving that bit.
They're laughing there talking to me and I'm like, who
are you. I've never met you before. Oh wait a second,
And then I'd stick my hand in front of their
(19:59):
mouth and I'm like, oh, it's too okay, um laughing.
They get a kick out of that. But they're staring
at me. They're like, you you have a beard. You
I thought you were older. I thought you were younger.
I thought this. I thought that It was just so
funny to hear all of them and all of their
(20:20):
commentary based on the fact that they could finally see
our ugly faces. So there's one girl and I've mentioned
her on the show before because Aria has no filter.
She looks at me and she says, I didn't know
you were Spanish. And there's a girl named Phoebe sitting
(20:45):
right next to her, and she looks at me with
straight face and she says, does that mean you like avocados? Racist?
I have no filter, no filter filter. The only thing
I could think of there's that TV commercial about avocados
(21:08):
from Mexico. Oh yeah, avocados from Mexico. Yes, yes, that's
the only thing I could think that she was connecting
the dots with, because why else would she ask if
I liked avocados. That's wonderful. The kids say that that
Cosby show. We can't say that because Cosby has been canceled,
but rightfully so. But the the kids say that, darned
(21:30):
is things you're living that life didn't. There's a little
boy who was at the same table named Evan, and
he caught onto the avocado thing. So all week long
he followed me around asking me about avocados. Avocados, did
(21:50):
you just start making stuff up, like wild stories about
how old are these kids? Like roughly, what do we
what do we look at? How? What age are there? Seventeen? Yeah,
hold on, surprise, surprise, Yeah they're five years old. Okay, yeah, yeah,
So that's great and they'll they'll reset, right, I mean
usually kids they have that childhood amnesia. What like, what's
(22:13):
your earliest memory. We've talked about this from time to time,
but like my earliest memory maybe he's around five, but
I like vague memories of that. I I know they
have said, I've had studies on this where they say, well,
kids actually remember everything that just kind of filed in
the back of their their brain and stuff, and it's
still kind of there, but you don't. It's not in
the front of your memory, like the front of my
(22:34):
memory probably you know, eight or nine, I remember I
have really good memories of everything from that point on
in my life. I would say, what about you? Yeah,
I have a memory of being at Disneyland. And when
I told my mom about it, she was like, you
were like maybe two and a half. How do you
remember that? Um? But it was because they put me
(22:55):
up in that Dumbo ride and she was holding me
my little head sticking out of that Dumbo ride. And
I remember that day clearly. Back then at Disneyland, they
had a room that you would go into and there
was a whole bunch of different telephones, different characters, Disney
characters pictures next to each phone, and you picked up
(23:17):
that phone and the character was talking to you on
the phone. I thought that ship was real. I'm on
the phone. I'm like, man, Mickey Mouse is on this phone.
I was all in, man, I thought that was real
for sure. Um, that's my earliest memory. That's great. I
love I My first memory that I I you know,
(23:43):
recall with clarity. I was on the school bus coming
home and they had the radio on on the school
bus and the driver was really kind of freaked out.
And it was the day that Ronald Reagan had been shot.
And I'm were like running in to tell my mom, like, hey,
the president was shot like that, And I didn't really
(24:05):
know what that meant, but I just knew that the
bus driver was freaking out and there was like emergency
programming on the radio. And I still have very clear
like memories of getting on the school bus hearing on
the way home the you know, the radio reports and
all that the guy in the radio and the you know,
the people on their yapping about that, and then the
(24:25):
bus driver you know, turning up the sound to here
here with the guy in the radio is saying about that,
which maybe in some weird way to help me lead
lead to my career. But I do remember that, I
do recall that you were breaking news even back then. Yes, yes,
Penny the news breaker and unless I wasn't, but those days,
you really that's way you got the news was from
(24:46):
the radio. Like there was no internet like ye to
wait for the newspaper the next day, or you would
get it on radio or television. That was it old media.
But yeah, word of mouth or as Ludicrous would say,
word of mouth when the kids turn unholy. Harrelson's Own
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This segment is sponsored by Nobo nord Disk. I struggled
with obesity for a long time, but the truth is
obesity is a disease and we shouldn't be blaming people.
(26:10):
It's not just about willpower. It's also about physiology, and
what we need to be doing is supporting people and
educating ourselves on the science behind weight loss. Listen, after
we lose weight, the body tries to regain the weight
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a weight management plan that works for you. I also
encourage you to learn more about the science behind weight
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about w E I g HT dot com. And we're
live here outside the Perez family home, just waiting for
(26:53):
the and there they go, almost on time. This morning.
Mom is coming out the front door strong with a
double kid carry. Looks like Dad has the bags. Daughter
is bringing up the rear. Oh, but the diaper bag
wasn't closed. Diapers and toys are everywhere. But Mom has
just nailed the perfect car seat buckle for the toddler.
(27:15):
And now the eldest daughter, who looks to be about
nine or ten, has secured herself in the booster seat.
Dad zips the bag clothes and they're off, But looks
like Mom doesn't realize her coffee cup is still on
the roof of the car. And there it goes. Ah,
that's a shame that mug was a fan favorite. Don't
sweat the small stuff. Just nailed the big stuff, like
(27:37):
making sure your kids are buckled correctly in the right
seat for their agent's eyes. Learn more NHTSA dot gov
slash the Right Seat visits h s a dot gov
slash the right Seat brought to you by Nitza and
the ad Council. We had the A P wire when
we were kids in radio. Yes, yes, I love it.
That was like the coolest thing when I started in
San Diego at the Extra Sports was the the high
(28:00):
speed sports wires, hacks Dot called it, and they had
they had the sports ticker on one side in the
newsroom and the AP news wire, and they wasted so
much paper because they'd print, you know, the sports sticker
would print everything up and it was a nightmare. It
would NonStop, just keep printing and printing and printing and
printing and printing. But that was the news. Yeah, it
(28:21):
was the interns job to keep putting new boxes of
paper there and connecting it to the printer. Then us
like I was a rookie, so it was my opportunity
to kind of be a producer. I would rip the
pages apart and then with a highlighter, I would highlight
anything that was good for our format, and then you
(28:42):
had to bring that into the on air personalities. Yeah.
So my job at six ninety when I was working
for Haxall when I first started there, he this is
this is the theet. It was like the Ghoul Report.
And I remember because there'd be race car drivers, open
wheel race card rivers from Europe. There was a guy
(29:03):
I forget his name, but I remember the story. He
had gotten into a terrible accident and it looked like
he was going to die and so hacks All he
made me monitor this on the on the wire because
he wanted me to run in with the bulletin if
he had he had died, because he wanted to break
the story on the show and all that stuff. So
I remember getting you know, you know, a P bulletin one,
(29:24):
a P bulletin update to you know, that kind of
stuff they would send out back back in the day.
But yeah, that was the Internet. I was like, that
was the beginning stages for our purposes. But it's kind
a little better since then, just a little bit. We
evolved into the NFL book them, Yeah, which we have
not done. We still need to do that on the
Overnight show. It will do it. Uh this this coming,
(29:46):
I'm a two time champion, back to back. Well, I
I won my share. I've won my share of the
NFL book. I had seen title holder the congratulations, congratulations,
Uh so I want to bring a little music, all right,
yeah into the podcast. You know Casey Cayson, we both
worked there when Casey worked at the building there. Casey,
(30:07):
the legendary Premier Networks host, passed away a couple of
years ago. But keep your feet on the ground and
keep reaching for the stars. Yeah, damn dead dog. I'm
sick and tired coming in here. I got an upbeat
song and we're doing we're doing a dedication and you know,
you know that's that's when we should highlight that one
(30:28):
of these weeks that is outstanding. So I bring this up.
Ohio Al, who makes our male jingle that sounded weird?
Are our postal jingle? I don't know. I'm not some
kind of nutliquer here, uh male jingle? He does? But anyway,
so Ohio was a talented musician and he sent me
(30:49):
a little did he sent us a while ago, and
bad job by me. You know, it took me a
while to get it on the radio show, and I
wanted to highlight it here on the podcast for everyone
to enjoy the artistical work of ohio Al. So let
me set this up. It's obviously a parody song of
comfortably numb by Pink Floyd. It's called comfortably Bend. And
(31:14):
are you ready Danny for a little little ditty here
from our buddy Ohio Al, I am ready all right,
here we go. Let's strike up the band. Welcome in
(31:36):
my name, like you can get somewhere off the grid
in the northward is here. This is the show that
puts you to sleep. Everyone are everywhere you get you
(32:00):
not here, W'll get you under Phoe idn't like I
was gone. I want a steamer and fan me ta
you call, I'm actually going to live here. Take Sandy
calls it all any me righty bo, give me a
(32:22):
slanty Supperine Grip gets the hard one. Take you father,
I'm not got an on box. We don't burn straw
to show the live Chi I real to lie for
(32:51):
the jump to listen. I was called every derogatory that
to him to get magazine. He gets sided professional gas bags.
What I did blition t d T the palace shore.
(33:25):
So I am known as the bearing the bother that
call Ladder the General of the General who was master
of popular under Jaster. The hustles the problem for up
Siller bustar probl up producers Betty breaks like manity, PBing sanity,
our pretty matter ev s loving bellishment of the Moby
(33:47):
eating like wing Bag and slayer on of mass, the
Google get the Tower of Mabel, each other in our
turn and the Holy Poet. Now ah there it is
(34:09):
great job, wonderful job there for our buddy Ohio Owl.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh I'll spend a
lot of time on that. I like it. A drop
a a loser there. That was highlighting many of the drops,
many of the favorite drops on the show. So we
(34:29):
have a little time left. Pivot away from Ohio Owl's song,
and we mentioned the cutting room floor, So I thought,
since normally on Friday we bring somebody in here and
ask a bunch of questions and shoot the crap and
all that stuff. But the cutting room floor so stuff
we planned to get to during the radio show. However,
(34:50):
we ran out of time, and so think of this
as a trip to the refrigerator for leftover spaghetti or
something like that. And so just a few stories that
we would have brought up Danny on the overnight show,
but because of timing reasons, we didn't get to him. Uh,
And we'll start with this, the expensive cardboard story. Did
you see Nan that Drake spent over two hundred thousand
(35:14):
dollars on basketball cards trying to pull a very rare
card out. I did see this. Yeah. Now I know
Drake's got a lot of money, But these these boxes,
this NBA Panini, Uh, these these I'm not I'm not
into the cards right now. I've gotten out of the business.
I mean, I still have a bunch I gotta go through.
(35:36):
But the the NBA Panini flaw the sports cards. Each
box sells for like fifteen thousand dollars, jeez, and contains
ten cards. Ten cards. The math on that is not
particularly great. Um So, anyway, he spent over two hundred
(35:56):
thousand dollars and for unopened NBA cards, and he was
going through them and trying to find trying to find gold.
The problem I have with this, Danny, you already have gold.
You're Drake, You're rich. Isn't this something that somebody who's
kind of looking to win the lottery would do? You
know what I mean? This is just a rich person
(36:19):
who's board, right you lighting bills on fire? You like baseball,
basketball and football cards on fire. I remember when my
older brother would get like a San Francisco Giants player
and a pack of baseball cards. He would light it
on fire. I'm not kidding you, Piro and my mom
(36:43):
caught him doing it one time and she's like, I
swear to God, if you burn the neighborhood down because
you don't like the San Francisco Giants, you are gonna
be grounded for a week. Now, you're gonna have to
burn the Jack Peterson card. I saw Jock sign with
the Giants this week. Douche bag Pearl wearing burnt orange.
(37:11):
He's an enemy combatant and he's got the Jack Pearson's
got the reputation of being a good playoff player. He
was a bunch of wars with the Dodgers. He was
terrible for the Braves in the World Series of this
past year. They won, but as I remember, he was
lousy in the place. He's from northern California though he's
a North count guy, so he's going back home. But
good luck to Drake with those basketball cards. I guess
(37:33):
last year, Zion Williamson, one of those cards sold for
two hundred thirty three thousand dollars last like the card business,
though I have complained about this in the past. It's
such a racket that the company you would like to
work for are the grading people. They're the ones that
make all the money guaranteed to make their money, the
people that grade the cards. Waiting line for those guys. Yeah,
(37:55):
that's one of the problems. I got a whole bunch
of cards that I would some of them might need
to get graded to sell. I'm I don't even want to.
You gotta spend money to do it. It's big pain
in the ass, big paint in the talkis what grows
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All right, we've got limited time here, limited time. You
(39:41):
want dumb money, lots of camels which want to pick
your poison here dead. Oh, we have a famous drop
we used to play on the live show of You,
saying I want a camel. That's right, that's right, and uh,
this is a great camel story. It comes from Tracy McGrady,
better known as iMac back in the day, and he
(40:03):
he recently shared a story that I had not heard.
But maybe you've heard of it, but I had not
heard of it. And so he said years ago, back
in his salad days, uh that he went to Cutter
on a trip the NBA had sent to him and Carmelo, Anthony,
(40:23):
Clay Thompson and Luke Walton. So they took a trip
over there to promote the World Cup. And so they
were all there and while they were in Cutter, McGrady
says he was asked whether they wanted to do some
camel racing. M hm. And so here's Tracy McGrady at
the time, big NBA you know, legend, Mellow, Clay Thompson,
(40:47):
Luke Walton, all these guys, and yeah, exactly. And so
McGrady told the stories. He says, I We'll go see
the camel race and and they were They asked the
NBA guys, do you want to participate? Team mack told
the stories and what do you mean by that? So anyway,
they go down to the track, as t mac tells
(41:07):
the story, and they are on the runway and the
camels are over on the side, and then all these
NBA guys are given remote controls by one of the
people from the track. They're and cutter and they're like, hey, uh,
and the guys are like, what are these remotes? And
so apparently what they do in that part of the
(41:30):
world they have he said a little They got a
little man on the camel, according to Team Mack, with
a whip, and so they they hand a remote control
to these dudes. And then based on how you use
the remote control, you the the little dude on the camel,
which I assume as robotic, right, I would think, right,
(41:52):
and I yeah. And then based on how many times
you hit the remote, the camel gets whipped. And that's
how race the the camel. Well, he got whipped a
lot in his career. He did at the end. Yeah,
that's for he probably knew how to use that. I
was in an elevator with Team Mac he was playing
(42:13):
for the Rockets. I'll never forget it. It was you know,
he didn't he had been a big star with or
Lando and he went to the rock and he was
still well known because of a little penny things and
all that. But in the elevator at then Staples Center,
he was complaining because he had to meet like some
do some sponsorship thing, and he was I don't want
to do. He was complaining it was so funny that, uh,
(42:36):
like you probably I'm staying in my head, I'm thinking,
you're probably gonna get paid more in for this like
ten fifteen minutes sponsor thing you gotta do. Then I
want to be making for like two years. But he
really was having a bad day. He did not want
to do the sponsor gig get at all. So you
think camel racing will be there for I know they've
gotten rid of dog racing in most of America, but
(42:58):
that in the Middle East, camel racing. I'm sure there's
dog racing a lot of places around around the world.
I know we used to have found very humane. No no,
but the rest of the world's not woke or any
of that stuff there, they don't care about that. Uh well,
I say the rest of the the non Western world,
they're more into there, you know, having a good time
(43:19):
and all. But did he say how much he used
the remote? Oh yeah, yeah, he said, he he went,
you know, he's a fool. He said he kept hitting
the remote, tearing the camel's ass up. But he did
say a team back that he won the race, So
his camel won the race. But then, of course probably
had to be put down or something like that. Anyway,
(43:41):
all right, that's it on that note. What a way
to end what you know, there's one other thing. I
did want to bring one other thing up, which never
goes well for me. I didn't want your last sentence
to be tear that camel's outside. I remember the camel cake.
That was awesome. That camel that was it was awesome
(44:02):
from the cake benefactor years and years ago. But Buck Ball,
I love this quote, Buck show Walter, manager of the Mets.
We're gonna get to this. We didn't get to it
on the show. So Buck show Walter was asked by
one of the Met Beat writers, are you gonna put
up those motivational quotes, encouragement posts and all that stuff
in the you know, in the in the Mets clubhouse. Now,
(44:24):
were you at Fox Sports Radio and the Andrew Ashwood
or a Danny were you there when he was around?
Just afterwords? Okay, just after so Andrew was our boss.
He was a big believer, great man, big burly man.
Andrew Ashwood loved him, very nice man. Radio pro d
J went into management. You always love the management guys
that used to be on the air because they get you.
They understand that. I heard he actually gave raises. Yes,
(44:47):
I didn't get one, but other people did. They got
big extensions. And Andrew had been very sick and he
was very generous. He kind of knew the end was near,
and on his way out he took care of some
people give him a big, big raises. And it was wonderful.
What a wonderful gesture by by Andrew Ashwood. But so Andrew,
he used to put up quotes from Lombardi and all
these different people. He loved the Packers, so he put
(45:09):
a lot of quotes of Lombardi up around Fox Sports Radio.
And so that was his thing. And I thought of
him because of Buck show author who said he does
not like the random famous quotes of encouragement posted around,
you know, encouraged the employees and all that. And I
gotta kick out of it because it was such a
perfect quote for New York. Buck Showalter, the new manager
(45:30):
of the Mets, says, if it was up to him,
he would have only one sign in the Mets locker room,
and it would have two words on it. What do
you think that sign would say? Danny? What do you think,
oh Man? For the Mets for the Mets, the New
York Metropolitans don't suck. Well, actually that is that's a
(45:52):
reference to Joe matt Remember Joe Madden. Oh no, we
shock again. He put that up in the in the
Cubs clubhouse back in the day, right Buck shot Walter
said he would put up in the clubhouse there. He
said he would put up a sign that said play better.
Joe Madden's was trying not to suck. That was the
(46:14):
why not just like which is a version of my
favorite quote of all time, John Tortorella, the hockey coach,
after the Rangers lost the game and somebody asked him why,
why did you lose the game or something like that,
and he said, we sucked at a time you cannot suck.
That is the perfect quote. And he's like, Tortorella was awesome,
(46:34):
Like we sucked from head to toe. It was sucked.
So good, so wonderful, so so great. Anyway, all right,
have a wonderful rest of your Friday. That's right, Friday.
We got a whole weekend to come of podcast Magic
on Saturday. And I know people are watching the tournament,
but we're a good sidecard to the to the March
madness and all that. Right, I think, Yeah, we are
(46:55):
like a side of really good mashed potatoes and gravy.
Damn right, we have a one their full rest of
your Friday. Remember five stars on the review, five stars
in the real car, five stars, five stars on the review,
and we will catch you next time on the fifth
hour on the Saturday podcast. But thank later, Skaterbot relation
(47:19):
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com boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
(03:19):
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House
of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air
every way it is the Fifth Hour with I, Ben
(03:39):
Mallor and Danny G Radio because four hours a night
are not enough. We do this eight days a week
and a Friday podcast. Now. Normally on Friday we have
someone in here and I shoot the crap with them
and someone who either I know or I want to
get to know a little bit better. But this week
(03:59):
is different. This is not like the normal week. Oh hell,
now that's right, because by popular demand, the listeners of
the Fifth Hour podcasts have said, Mallard, nobody wants to
hear these interviews every week. We need more Danny G Radio.
Clamoring for more Danny G Radio after he gave that
(04:20):
amazing story last week of the the head Tinderoni there
jumps up onto the massage table, straddles my girl, sits
on my girl's rare end, is going to town on
(04:41):
her and and was kept slapping her, even slapped her ass.
What went wrong at the massage parlor? So, by popular demand,
an entire weekend of Danny G with Me on the
Fifth Hour. So Danny, give the people what they want. Danny,
(05:03):
give them what they want here. I guess that's what
happens when you tell NC seventeen rated stories. Yeah, here
I am Danny. I'm thinking boy, I really nailed it
on that podcast. You know, it was a great pod
and no, it was, Oh my god, I love Danny.
That was the greatest story ever and on all that
and I'm like, well, what about me? You know what
(05:23):
about me? And nothing really cares about you, All about
Danny j It's all about that X rated. They loved,
they loved that story. Danny was amazed. We're only here
because of you. And now my tender rowning asked me
if she should make another appointment so that we have
more content. She used the word content too. It's good.
(05:46):
She's in the business now, she's bias Moses. She's learning
about all of the craziness that happens in all the
nonsense that surprised mother. It is rather crazy. But anyway,
on this edition of The Fifth Hour, we've got uh
stories from the last few days and whatnot, more of that,
(06:08):
whatever pops I got, I've got Indiana Jones, Weird Science
will tell a tale about avocados. We've got song Time
and Cutting Room Floriday. This is an amazing amount of content,
absolutely free. Nobody had to pay a dollar for what.
You actually have to have a device to hear it.
(06:30):
But you have that anyway, right, So you know what
I want to talk about on this Friday morning, Davante Adams. Yeah. Ben,
you've been preaching because of your rams about how draft
picks don't matter, and I know it's not what we
do on this podcast, so I'm sure you'll talk about
it on Sunday night. But you did tweet about how
(06:51):
Adams to the Raiders bumped March Madness from the front page.
It was wonderful. Yeah, And you tweeted how Aaron Rodgers
packet was broken. Um, but you forgot to tweet about
how the Raiders are now one of the Super Bowl favorites.
Calm down, Calm down that baby, all right. So we'll
(07:11):
start with this. The other night, it was a normal
night at Casa mallor the Mallard mansion. All all stories
started out like there was just a normal night and
then one thing, let do another and a normal night
became abnormal. The abnormal was now normal. So let me
explain what happened. So, um, you know, these are these
(07:31):
are first world radio problems. So imagine if you I'm
just normally preparing for the show like I I do.
I have a routine, I have a Cadence. I've been
doing this for a long time, not that I'm great
at it, but I kind of have the same routine
every day. Certain parts of the day, I do certain things,
and I got everything down. I get any set. I
changed my schedule a couple of years ago when we
(07:51):
started doing the show from the home studio, and so
I have that down now. I'm very comfortable. I I
have my routine, and so I'm doing my normal thing.
You're like a well oiled machine exactly exactly. So I'm
I'm ready to do my thing and on the normal
MIDWEKND and so I'm getting ready. I kind of map
out the show in my head. I have an idea.
(08:13):
I start out with a lot of possibilities, and then,
as you know Danny from for doing this a long time,
you kind of whittle things down. It's like starting with
a block of wood and you kind of wheel stuff
away and you're like, all right, what do I want
to make this to be? What make it your masterpiece?
And so I'm doing that. I had a pretty good
idea of what I wanted to go with, and I
(08:34):
started jotting down some chicken scratch for the monologue, notes
for the monologues, and I I got to the point
in the process, trust the process. As they say in
Philadelphia that weasel Sam Hankey so the old GM there.
So anyway, so I was like, I'm good. And there's
a term we use from time to time. It's called,
you know, putting the baby to bed. And that's the
(08:55):
point where you've done everything you can do for the show.
You've got everything ready, you're prepared. Now you just have
to wait for showtime and you just you got some time.
Possibly you'll kill it's your industry jargon put the baby
to bed. So I had finished my copious amounts of research.
I had everything mapped out. I had a great battle
plan and the sun Zoo the Art of War, and
(09:17):
I'm gonna settle in, and i'd like to know before
the show. I'd like to settle in. And I'm a loser.
I watched some NBA games. I flip around, watch some
NBA games whatever whatever sports are on. And it happened
to me that night NBA was on there a couple
of games, and so I'm watching and then boom, all
of a sudden, oh no, it's a five alarm fire
bell sounding. What is this? What is this lights and
(09:41):
sirens in our world? Freddie Freeman had agreed to sign
a contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers, which meant my
mapping of the show well didn't go so well, so
I had to had to add live Daddy had to
(10:03):
do some improv And it's one of the great quotes
from Indiana Jones with my memorable movies when I was
a kid. Remember that scene from Indiana Jones where Indiana
somebody asked Indie, uh, you know, what are you gonna
do next? And his reply was, I don't know, I'm
making it up as we go along, and that was
(10:25):
kind of, you know, just kind of free. So I'm
now I was excited. I was happy. I'm a Dodging fan,
you're a Dodger fan, so I was happy about all this.
But still I was like, I was texting the guys.
I was like, couldn't this happen, Like, you know, four
o'clock in the afternoon, five o'clock, six o'clock, seven o'clock,
didn't have to happen right before the show, And well,
it did have to happen right before the show, and
(10:45):
it did happen. And so this happens every once I'm
normally doing the overnight show. There's not much things usually
shut down when the East Coach shut down. That's mostly
when things shut down. So, now, did you get covered
up for the first hour of your show by the
Flamethrower a M five seventy l A Sports. Did they
bring Steve Saxon? I used to worry about that stuff,
(11:13):
but I have not. I've not spent too much time.
I just do my stay stay in, you're light and
uh so, I don't worry. Sometimes we've gotten covered up
by Clipper postgame talk. That's happened occasionally, that the NBA
games seem to be ending sooner um. But yeah, we're guaranteed.
Like during baseball season on our flagship in l A
AM five seventy Dodger Station, we are guaranteed there'll be
(11:35):
one or two games in San Diego or San Francisco
or Colorado, Arizona that will go until two in the morning.
The entire show will be covered up by you know, raining,
They'll be raining, not in Arizona, but in in San Francisco,
Colorado or or l or San Diego. So that's guaranteed. Happened,
But yeah, I don't know it was. It was interesting,
interesting night, and hopefully Freddie Freeman works out. Well, it
(11:58):
ain't my money, so good law, and I think for
the next couple of years it should be good. After that,
you know, that's somebody else's problem right there. We don't
need to worry about. Man. I wanted to go to
the MLB All Star Game this year since it's here
in l A. What are those tickets gonna look like? Now? Yeah, well,
I'm hoping to go to that and not in the media,
(12:20):
but my man, Marlin's Man. A couple of years ago,
Marlin's Man invited me to the All Star Game at
Dodger Staffs sit right behind him at home plate. We
had it all planned out and then that freaking COVID
thing took place and then that shut it down. So
I'm hoping. I'm still texting Marlins Man from time to time,
so we're still a casual friends. He'll send me messages
(12:41):
from random college basketball games. He's hat or whatever, So
I'm hoping we're good. I'm hoping, but I don't think
he responded last time. When Derek Jeter left the Marlins,
I sent him a text saying, you're my pick to
be the New New Marlins executive. He didn't respond. I
think he might have been upset by that. So I hope,
I hope we're still on good terms. But but I
don't know, no idea what you were trying to keep
(13:04):
that bottle of milk warm? Yeah, you know, I just
check in, just see what's going on from time. But
he'll he'll send me like random Martin's Man, I'll send
me a random messages from time. No, it's just kind
of cool, you know. It's it's nice that he's thinking
about me. All right, So weird science. So we go
to the bag of email early this week, Danny a
little bag of email earlier than normal here, and this
(13:26):
one came from Alex in the Netherlands. Alex in the Netherlands,
he says, Ben, thanks for the shout out about a
month back. He's been listening, Danny, to the nonsense that
I have done and you have been part of for
a long time, sixteen plus years. He's still listening. He
and Alex has a very interesting story. I've talked about
(13:49):
him a few times over the years. But he does
high level in his own words, he does high level
science research. It's not trigonometry and he has lived all
over Europe and all over the world. And uh he
he does the scientific research and he says he loves
the crew and the collars. He said, now he I
think he was in Germany before he now in the Netherlands.
(14:12):
And he said some nice things to me that he said,
grew up in southern California and Laguna Beach, so he's
an O C guy like I am. And uh, he
did offer. And this is interesting the reason I brought
this up, Danny, you know, weird science and all that.
He says, let me know if you ever need a
quantum physics expert, keep on entertainings Alex in the Netherlands.
(14:33):
And so it got me thinking, Danny, I mean I
did respond to Alex. I did right back to him.
I don't know if he's written back or not. Maybe
I missed it, but he I said to him and said, hey,
you know, I put you on, but you gotta be
relatable to the you know, the meat head sports radioist.
You gotta can you dumb it down enough? That's the key.
If he could do it, I'd love to have him
(14:54):
on if he could explain. And I'm not that bright either.
If you could explain to me and make me understand
the kind of stuff that he's involved in. I think
that would be pretty interesting. I'd like to learn more
about that. But if he's gonna talk a bunch of
science mumbo jumbo, I don't know if that's gonna be
uh something we want to be part of. Right, he
could help us get Kelly Lebron out of our home computer,
(15:16):
then we'd be interested. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he's
dealing with like nuclear codes or something like that. I
don't know what he's got going on. I have no idea,
but he's he's got stuff going on there, and it's
it's sounds interesting to me. That's a pretty impressive title,
quantum physics. My head spins just thinking about My eyeballs
go to the back of my head thinking about quantum physics.
(15:37):
But that's the world he's in. That's his world, and
and it's outstanding. I love that that guys like that
listen and I get emails some people like this every
once in a while that are that are fans. And
then you know, you you juxtapose that with the people
that call the show, and it's fascinating dichotomy between you know,
the certain people that there are are the casual listeners,
(15:59):
but they don't they don't contribute content usually, and then
the people that call all the time. So it's kind
of like when we will watch something where you don't
have to have your brain on whatsoever, like a bad
reality show or sixty Day Marriage or something like that,
it makes you feel normal and better about yourself because
you're watching all these losers on that TV show. Yeah,
(16:21):
for sure, for sure. Now I did get another email
that I don't know if I want to get into
this now. We'll save her for later. But this guy's
like he thinks that there was this guy that used
to email the show when Gascon was on the podcast,
and he named I'm a Pilot and he would tell
these stories about he flew to like China during COVID
early on and he had he got put in quarantine
(16:43):
on a Chinese hotel and he got taken by people
in space suits and amazing stories. And so there's there's
a guy that's been emailing me saying that guy's a fake.
That was Gascon pretending to be I'm a Pilot and
I was I don't believe it was because I the
guy had emailed me, he hadn't emailed in a long time.
I unless I mean guests. Maybe he's diabolical and had
a different email acount, but I'm pretty sure I know
(17:06):
information about I'm a Pilot. I will try to get
ahold of him, just to see what's going on with him,
because he's not email the show. But I do not
believe that is a As much as I'd love to
believe that that that's guests gone pretending to be I'm
a Pilot, I do not believe that to be true.
Guess guys west of the four or five and all
that loves to brag about that stuff. Very pompous and
(17:27):
all that, but even that's a bridge too far. I
don't think you're gonna start a fake email account and
pretend to be, you know, a pilot and send photos
and it seems a lot. That's a lot of extra
work that you don't need to do. So anyway, So
the avocados, the price of avocados, The price of everything's
gone up, including avocados. We have a tale of avocados.
(17:49):
What is this all about, day, Well, it might surprise
you how I get to the avocados. It's more about
the drop that we use on the show. Racist. Oh cool,
of course you're very popular racist. Oh yeah, you hear
the drop right there? Out of context? Racist drops? Oh
my god. Yeah, yeah, like the white cheeto puffs. Yes, yes, exactly.
(18:13):
So yeah, that drop will come into play on our
show from time to time. So you know, this past week,
starting Monday, was the first day in California that masks
were optional at all of our schools. Thank god. Oh yeah,
we talked about this a little bit last weekend. I
(18:33):
go to the kindergarteners at lunchtime and I'm thinking of myself. Man, today,
it's gonna be fun because these kids have no filters.
They don't know what I look like. This is like
an episode of the Twilight Zone where everyone's like wearing masks.
Remember that episode? Maybe not, I'm a I'm a nerd.
I used to watch the Twilight Zone as a kid.
(18:54):
But they had an episode where like everyone was a
very mask and then they, if I remember it correctly
as I remember, they pulled the mask off and then
they had like weird faces and here you looking faces
and they didn't look normal. It was a while. Well yeah,
and it was super strange because I swear to God,
there were co workers. I had never seen their faces before. Yeah,
(19:15):
so I'm looking at certain people and I'm like, that's
what he looks like, that's what she looks like. It
was just so odd. I get out to the campus.
I had my bit already prepared in my mind. I said, Okay,
what I'm gonna do with these little kindergarteners is when
they start talking to me, I'm gonna play it off
like I don't recognize them until I cover up with
(19:37):
my hand their mouth in their lower nose area, so
you know, oh, now, okay, Oh that's good. That's a smart.
That's a smart And then all of a sudden, you
like Rick Flair. Yea. So they were loving that bit.
They're laughing there talking to me and I'm like, who
are you. I've never met you before. Oh wait a second,
And then I'd stick my hand in front of their
(19:59):
mouth and I'm like, oh, it's too okay, um laughing.
They get a kick out of that. But they're staring
at me. They're like, you you have a beard. You
I thought you were older. I thought you were younger.
I thought this. I thought that It was just so
funny to hear all of them and all of their
(20:20):
commentary based on the fact that they could finally see
our ugly faces. So there's one girl and I've mentioned
her on the show before because Aria has no filter.
She looks at me and she says, I didn't know
you were Spanish. And there's a girl named Phoebe sitting
(20:45):
right next to her, and she looks at me with
straight face and she says, does that mean you like avocados? Racist?
I have no filter, no filter filter. The only thing
I could think of there's that TV commercial about avocados
(21:08):
from Mexico. Oh yeah, avocados from Mexico. Yes, yes, that's
the only thing I could think that she was connecting
the dots with, because why else would she ask if
I liked avocados. That's wonderful. The kids say that that
Cosby show. We can't say that because Cosby has been canceled,
but rightfully so. But the the kids say that, darned
(21:30):
is things you're living that life didn't. There's a little
boy who was at the same table named Evan, and
he caught onto the avocado thing. So all week long
he followed me around asking me about avocados. Avocados, did
(21:50):
you just start making stuff up, like wild stories about
how old are these kids? Like roughly, what do we
what do we look at? How? What age are there? Seventeen? Yeah,
hold on, surprise, surprise, Yeah they're five years old. Okay, yeah, yeah,
So that's great and they'll they'll reset, right, I mean
usually kids they have that childhood amnesia. What like, what's
(22:13):
your earliest memory. We've talked about this from time to time,
but like my earliest memory maybe he's around five, but
I like vague memories of that. I I know they
have said, I've had studies on this where they say, well,
kids actually remember everything that just kind of filed in
the back of their their brain and stuff, and it's
still kind of there, but you don't. It's not in
the front of your memory, like the front of my
(22:34):
memory probably you know, eight or nine, I remember I
have really good memories of everything from that point on
in my life. I would say, what about you? Yeah,
I have a memory of being at Disneyland. And when
I told my mom about it, she was like, you
were like maybe two and a half. How do you
remember that? Um? But it was because they put me
(22:55):
up in that Dumbo ride and she was holding me
my little head sticking out of that Dumbo ride. And
I remember that day clearly. Back then at Disneyland, they
had a room that you would go into and there
was a whole bunch of different telephones, different characters, Disney
characters pictures next to each phone, and you picked up
(23:17):
that phone and the character was talking to you on
the phone. I thought that ship was real. I'm on
the phone. I'm like, man, Mickey Mouse is on this phone.
I was all in, man, I thought that was real
for sure. Um, that's my earliest memory. That's great. I
love I My first memory that I I you know,
(23:43):
recall with clarity. I was on the school bus coming
home and they had the radio on on the school
bus and the driver was really kind of freaked out.
And it was the day that Ronald Reagan had been shot.
And I'm were like running in to tell my mom, like, hey,
the president was shot like that, And I didn't really
(24:05):
know what that meant, but I just knew that the
bus driver was freaking out and there was like emergency
programming on the radio. And I still have very clear
like memories of getting on the school bus hearing on
the way home the you know, the radio reports and
all that the guy in the radio and the you know,
the people on their yapping about that, and then the
(24:25):
bus driver you know, turning up the sound to here
here with the guy in the radio is saying about that,
which maybe in some weird way to help me lead
lead to my career. But I do remember that, I
do recall that you were breaking news even back then. Yes, yes,
Penny the news breaker and unless I wasn't, but those days,
you really that's way you got the news was from
(24:46):
the radio. Like there was no internet like ye to
wait for the newspaper the next day, or you would
get it on radio or television. That was it old media.
But yeah, word of mouth or as Ludicrous would say,
word of mouth when the kids turn unholy. Harrelson's Own
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This segment is sponsored by Nobo nord Disk. I struggled
with obesity for a long time, but the truth is
obesity is a disease and we shouldn't be blaming people.
(26:10):
It's not just about willpower. It's also about physiology, and
what we need to be doing is supporting people and
educating ourselves on the science behind weight loss. Listen, after
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because metabolism slows down. The appetite hormones signal you to
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weight loss and work with a healthcare provider to create
a weight management plan that works for you. I also
encourage you to learn more about the science behind weight
loss by visiting truth about weight dot com. That's truth
about w E I g HT dot com. And we're
live here outside the Perez family home, just waiting for
(26:53):
the and there they go, almost on time. This morning.
Mom is coming out the front door strong with a
double kid carry. Looks like Dad has the bags. Daughter
is bringing up the rear. Oh, but the diaper bag
wasn't closed. Diapers and toys are everywhere. But Mom has
just nailed the perfect car seat buckle for the toddler.
(27:15):
And now the eldest daughter, who looks to be about
nine or ten, has secured herself in the booster seat.
Dad zips the bag clothes and they're off, But looks
like Mom doesn't realize her coffee cup is still on
the roof of the car. And there it goes. Ah,
that's a shame that mug was a fan favorite. Don't
sweat the small stuff. Just nailed the big stuff, like
(27:37):
making sure your kids are buckled correctly in the right
seat for their agent's eyes. Learn more NHTSA dot gov
slash the Right Seat visits h s a dot gov
slash the right Seat brought to you by Nitza and
the ad Council. We had the A P wire when
we were kids in radio. Yes, yes, I love it.
That was like the coolest thing when I started in
San Diego at the Extra Sports was the the high
(28:00):
speed sports wires, hacks Dot called it, and they had
they had the sports ticker on one side in the
newsroom and the AP news wire, and they wasted so
much paper because they'd print, you know, the sports sticker
would print everything up and it was a nightmare. It
would NonStop, just keep printing and printing and printing and
printing and printing. But that was the news. Yeah, it
(28:21):
was the interns job to keep putting new boxes of
paper there and connecting it to the printer. Then us
like I was a rookie, so it was my opportunity
to kind of be a producer. I would rip the
pages apart and then with a highlighter, I would highlight
anything that was good for our format, and then you
(28:42):
had to bring that into the on air personalities. Yeah.
So my job at six ninety when I was working
for Haxall when I first started there, he this is
this is the theet. It was like the Ghoul Report.
And I remember because there'd be race car drivers, open
wheel race card rivers from Europe. There was a guy
(29:03):
I forget his name, but I remember the story. He
had gotten into a terrible accident and it looked like
he was going to die and so hacks All he
made me monitor this on the on the wire because
he wanted me to run in with the bulletin if
he had he had died, because he wanted to break
the story on the show and all that stuff. So
I remember getting you know, you know, a P bulletin one,
(29:24):
a P bulletin update to you know, that kind of
stuff they would send out back back in the day.
But yeah, that was the Internet. I was like, that
was the beginning stages for our purposes. But it's kind
a little better since then, just a little bit. We
evolved into the NFL book them, Yeah, which we have
not done. We still need to do that on the
Overnight show. It will do it. Uh this this coming,
(29:46):
I'm a two time champion, back to back. Well, I
I won my share. I've won my share of the
NFL book. I had seen title holder the congratulations, congratulations,
Uh so I want to bring a little music, all right,
yeah into the podcast. You know Casey Cayson, we both
worked there when Casey worked at the building there. Casey,
(30:07):
the legendary Premier Networks host, passed away a couple of
years ago. But keep your feet on the ground and
keep reaching for the stars. Yeah, damn dead dog. I'm
sick and tired coming in here. I got an upbeat
song and we're doing we're doing a dedication and you know,
you know that's that's when we should highlight that one
(30:28):
of these weeks that is outstanding. So I bring this up.
Ohio Al, who makes our male jingle that sounded weird?
Are our postal jingle? I don't know. I'm not some
kind of nutliquer here, uh male jingle? He does? But anyway,
so Ohio was a talented musician and he sent me
(30:49):
a little did he sent us a while ago, and
bad job by me. You know, it took me a
while to get it on the radio show, and I
wanted to highlight it here on the podcast for everyone
to enjoy the artistical work of ohio Al. So let
me set this up. It's obviously a parody song of
comfortably numb by Pink Floyd. It's called comfortably Bend. And
(31:14):
are you ready Danny for a little little ditty here
from our buddy Ohio Al, I am ready all right,
here we go. Let's strike up the band. Welcome in
(31:36):
my name, like you can get somewhere off the grid
in the northward is here. This is the show that
puts you to sleep. Everyone are everywhere you get you
(32:00):
not here, W'll get you under Phoe idn't like I
was gone. I want a steamer and fan me ta
you call, I'm actually going to live here. Take Sandy
calls it all any me righty bo, give me a
(32:22):
slanty Supperine Grip gets the hard one. Take you father,
I'm not got an on box. We don't burn straw
to show the live Chi I real to lie for
(32:51):
the jump to listen. I was called every derogatory that
to him to get magazine. He gets sided professional gas bags.
What I did blition t d T the palace shore.
(33:25):
So I am known as the bearing the bother that
call Ladder the General of the General who was master
of popular under Jaster. The hustles the problem for up
Siller bustar probl up producers Betty breaks like manity, PBing sanity,
our pretty matter ev s loving bellishment of the Moby
(33:47):
eating like wing Bag and slayer on of mass, the
Google get the Tower of Mabel, each other in our
turn and the Holy Poet. Now ah there it is
(34:09):
great job, wonderful job there for our buddy Ohio Owl.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh I'll spend a
lot of time on that. I like it. A drop
a a loser there. That was highlighting many of the drops,
many of the favorite drops on the show. So we
(34:29):
have a little time left. Pivot away from Ohio Owl's song,
and we mentioned the cutting room floor, So I thought,
since normally on Friday we bring somebody in here and
ask a bunch of questions and shoot the crap and
all that stuff. But the cutting room floor so stuff
we planned to get to during the radio show. However,
(34:50):
we ran out of time, and so think of this
as a trip to the refrigerator for leftover spaghetti or
something like that. And so just a few stories that
we would have brought up Danny on the overnight show,
but because of timing reasons, we didn't get to him. Uh,
And we'll start with this, the expensive cardboard story. Did
you see Nan that Drake spent over two hundred thousand
(35:14):
dollars on basketball cards trying to pull a very rare
card out. I did see this. Yeah. Now I know
Drake's got a lot of money, But these these boxes,
this NBA Panini, Uh, these these I'm not I'm not
into the cards right now. I've gotten out of the business.
I mean, I still have a bunch I gotta go through.
(35:36):
But the the NBA Panini flaw the sports cards. Each
box sells for like fifteen thousand dollars, jeez, and contains
ten cards. Ten cards. The math on that is not
particularly great. Um So, anyway, he spent over two hundred
(35:56):
thousand dollars and for unopened NBA cards, and he was
going through them and trying to find trying to find gold.
The problem I have with this, Danny, you already have gold.
You're Drake, You're rich. Isn't this something that somebody who's
kind of looking to win the lottery would do? You
know what I mean? This is just a rich person
(36:19):
who's board, right you lighting bills on fire? You like baseball,
basketball and football cards on fire. I remember when my
older brother would get like a San Francisco Giants player
and a pack of baseball cards. He would light it
on fire. I'm not kidding you, Piro and my mom
(36:43):
caught him doing it one time and she's like, I
swear to God, if you burn the neighborhood down because
you don't like the San Francisco Giants, you are gonna
be grounded for a week. Now, you're gonna have to
burn the Jack Peterson card. I saw Jock sign with
the Giants this week. Douche bag Pearl wearing burnt orange.
(37:11):
He's an enemy combatant and he's got the Jack Pearson's
got the reputation of being a good playoff player. He
was a bunch of wars with the Dodgers. He was
terrible for the Braves in the World Series of this
past year. They won, but as I remember, he was
lousy in the place. He's from northern California though he's
a North count guy, so he's going back home. But
good luck to Drake with those basketball cards. I guess
(37:33):
last year, Zion Williamson, one of those cards sold for
two hundred thirty three thousand dollars last like the card business,
though I have complained about this in the past. It's
such a racket that the company you would like to
work for are the grading people. They're the ones that
make all the money guaranteed to make their money, the
people that grade the cards. Waiting line for those guys. Yeah,
(37:55):
that's one of the problems. I got a whole bunch
of cards that I would some of them might need
to get graded to sell. I'm I don't even want to.
You gotta spend money to do it. It's big pain
in the ass, big paint in the talkis what grows
in the forest trees? Sure you know what else grows
in the forest. Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and
(38:16):
our family bonds grow too, because when we disconnect from
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Dot org brought to you by the United States Forest
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you could find a way to get inside each other's mind.
Walk a mile in my shoes. Welcome mile in my shoes. Shoes.
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you by the AD Council. Welcome out in the shoes.
All right, we've got limited time here, limited time. You
(39:41):
want dumb money, lots of camels which want to pick
your poison here dead. Oh, we have a famous drop
we used to play on the live show of You,
saying I want a camel. That's right, that's right, and uh,
this is a great camel story. It comes from Tracy McGrady,
better known as iMac back in the day, and he
(40:03):
he recently shared a story that I had not heard.
But maybe you've heard of it, but I had not
heard of it. And so he said years ago, back
in his salad days, uh that he went to Cutter
on a trip the NBA had sent to him and Carmelo, Anthony,
(40:23):
Clay Thompson and Luke Walton. So they took a trip
over there to promote the World Cup. And so they
were all there and while they were in Cutter, McGrady
says he was asked whether they wanted to do some
camel racing. M hm. And so here's Tracy McGrady at
the time, big NBA you know, legend, Mellow, Clay Thompson,
(40:47):
Luke Walton, all these guys, and yeah, exactly. And so
McGrady told the stories. He says, I We'll go see
the camel race and and they were They asked the
NBA guys, do you want to participate? Team mack told
the stories and what do you mean by that? So anyway,
they go down to the track, as t mac tells
(41:07):
the story, and they are on the runway and the
camels are over on the side, and then all these
NBA guys are given remote controls by one of the
people from the track. They're and cutter and they're like, hey, uh,
and the guys are like, what are these remotes? And
so apparently what they do in that part of the
(41:30):
world they have he said a little They got a
little man on the camel, according to Team Mack, with
a whip, and so they they hand a remote control
to these dudes. And then based on how you use
the remote control, you the the little dude on the camel,
which I assume as robotic, right, I would think, right,
(41:52):
and I yeah. And then based on how many times
you hit the remote, the camel gets whipped. And that's
how race the the camel. Well, he got whipped a
lot in his career. He did at the end. Yeah,
that's for he probably knew how to use that. I
was in an elevator with Team Mac he was playing
(42:13):
for the Rockets. I'll never forget it. It was you know,
he didn't he had been a big star with or
Lando and he went to the rock and he was
still well known because of a little penny things and
all that. But in the elevator at then Staples Center,
he was complaining because he had to meet like some
do some sponsorship thing, and he was I don't want
to do. He was complaining it was so funny that, uh,
(42:36):
like you probably I'm staying in my head, I'm thinking,
you're probably gonna get paid more in for this like
ten fifteen minutes sponsor thing you gotta do. Then I
want to be making for like two years. But he
really was having a bad day. He did not want
to do the sponsor gig get at all. So you
think camel racing will be there for I know they've
gotten rid of dog racing in most of America, but
(42:58):
that in the Middle East, camel racing. I'm sure there's
dog racing a lot of places around around the world.
I know we used to have found very humane. No no,
but the rest of the world's not woke or any
of that stuff there, they don't care about that. Uh well,
I say the rest of the the non Western world,
they're more into there, you know, having a good time
(43:19):
and all. But did he say how much he used
the remote? Oh yeah, yeah, he said, he he went,
you know, he's a fool. He said he kept hitting
the remote, tearing the camel's ass up. But he did
say a team back that he won the race, So
his camel won the race. But then, of course probably
had to be put down or something like that. Anyway,
(43:41):
all right, that's it on that note. What a way
to end what you know, there's one other thing. I
did want to bring one other thing up, which never
goes well for me. I didn't want your last sentence
to be tear that camel's outside. I remember the camel cake.
That was awesome. That camel that was it was awesome
(44:02):
from the cake benefactor years and years ago. But Buck Ball,
I love this quote, Buck show Walter, manager of the Mets.
We're gonna get to this. We didn't get to it
on the show. So Buck show Walter was asked by
one of the Met Beat writers, are you gonna put
up those motivational quotes, encouragement posts and all that stuff
in the you know, in the in the Mets clubhouse. Now,
(44:24):
were you at Fox Sports Radio and the Andrew Ashwood
or a Danny were you there when he was around?
Just afterwords? Okay, just after so Andrew was our boss.
He was a big believer, great man, big burly man.
Andrew Ashwood loved him, very nice man. Radio pro d
J went into management. You always love the management guys
that used to be on the air because they get you.
They understand that. I heard he actually gave raises. Yes,
(44:47):
I didn't get one, but other people did. They got
big extensions. And Andrew had been very sick and he
was very generous. He kind of knew the end was near,
and on his way out he took care of some
people give him a big, big raises. And it was wonderful.
What a wonderful gesture by by Andrew Ashwood. But so Andrew,
he used to put up quotes from Lombardi and all
these different people. He loved the Packers, so he put
(45:09):
a lot of quotes of Lombardi up around Fox Sports Radio.
And so that was his thing. And I thought of
him because of Buck show author who said he does
not like the random famous quotes of encouragement posted around,
you know, encouraged the employees and all that. And I
gotta kick out of it because it was such a
perfect quote for New York. Buck Showalter, the new manager
(45:30):
of the Mets, says, if it was up to him,
he would have only one sign in the Mets locker room,
and it would have two words on it. What do
you think that sign would say? Danny? What do you think,
oh Man? For the Mets for the Mets, the New
York Metropolitans don't suck. Well, actually that is that's a
(45:52):
reference to Joe matt Remember Joe Madden. Oh no, we
shock again. He put that up in the in the
Cubs clubhouse back in the day, right Buck shot Walter
said he would put up in the clubhouse there. He
said he would put up a sign that said play better.
Joe Madden's was trying not to suck. That was the
(46:14):
why not just like which is a version of my
favorite quote of all time, John Tortorella, the hockey coach,
after the Rangers lost the game and somebody asked him why,
why did you lose the game or something like that,
and he said, we sucked at a time you cannot suck.
That is the perfect quote. And he's like, Tortorella was awesome,
(46:34):
Like we sucked from head to toe. It was sucked.
So good, so wonderful, so so great. Anyway, all right,
have a wonderful rest of your Friday. That's right, Friday.
We got a whole weekend to come of podcast Magic
on Saturday. And I know people are watching the tournament,
but we're a good sidecard to the to the March
madness and all that. Right, I think, Yeah, we are
(46:55):
like a side of really good mashed potatoes and gravy.
Damn right, we have a one their full rest of
your Friday. Remember five stars on the review, five stars
in the real car, five stars, five stars on the review,
and we will catch you next time on the fifth
hour on the Saturday podcast. But thank later, Skaterbot relation
(47:19):
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Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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