January 2, 2026 • 17 mins
George Noory and psychotherapist Dr. Donna Marks discuss ways to improve your life, what is the best mindset for a positive life, and the importance of improving communication to deal with personal problems.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Man, Welcome back to Coast to Coast George nor You
with doctor Donna Marcus. Or website again is linked up
at Coast TOCOASTAM dot com, Dona. When somebody comes to
you as a psychotherapist, what do they generally want help for?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Well, most people that come to therapy are suffering. They're
in pain, and that's what brings them to getting help.
Very few the people come in and say, I'm feeling great,
I want to feel better, and so that's just the
nature of the business. They want to get out of
the pain that they're in. Are they feel that something's
missing in their lives, which is more subtle pain, but
nevertheless it's a driving force.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Is it physical pain or mental pain, emotional.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Emotional emotional pain? And so when they come in and
I listen to them and ask certain questions, I try
to find out what is causing that pain or that
discontent or that this needs in them.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
How much of it has caused from childhood? In your opinion, Well,
I think.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
That most people who are experiencing situations in their life
that are troubling them almost always have something going on
in their childhood, and it could be that it's not obvious.
It could be that there was one particular person had
a you know, helicopter type mom, and it overpowered him
(01:29):
and made him feel inadequate, and so whenever he feels
that he's being controlled, he reacts. And yet you can say,
what kind of childhood did you have? It was perfect,
my parents stayed married or must stay at home. Mom
had all my needs met, But that need to control
that little boy that grew up into adolescents and even
(01:52):
off the college, she's still trying to.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Control his environment and come.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Decorate, you know, where he was living in. All it
away this sense of individuality and masculinity, but so important.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
For young men.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Children need to be monitored, they need to be sheltered,
They need a certain amount of control. But micromanaging is
never healthy. So it could be something more subtle like that,
or it could be something like I grew up in whatever,
they're just total chaos and emotional craziness and high levels
of a neglect and abuse, and so whatever the case is,
(02:30):
there usually is some type of route there going backwards.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
With the parents involved. Is it normally the man or
the woman, the father or the mother that may be
the one who's causing some of the issues or both.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, it could be either or or both. It just
depends on what's happening. The mother is usually the one
that gets the brunk culture because she, you know, she
is the one who carries the baby, and she is
the one who the nurtures allegedly, you know, supposed to
be the nurture. She is the one that is the
(03:06):
protector in that situation. But some moms, and again I
don't want to blame anybody. You know, when people are
inadequate parents, it's because they did not receive adequate training,
or there is something causing them to be inadequate that
hasn't been addressed.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I mean, it's conceivable their parents didn't treat them right.
And it just goes all the way back, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
You know, Foreyd talked about that life is a reenactment
of the past, and so we do need to look
at what happened to their parents and their parents. It's
often intergenerational types of situations that occur. But we don't
have to be victims of that. We can wake up
at any moment and say no more. It stops here.
(03:54):
Here's the tree, and I'm stopping it here.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
At this level, I.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Think, Donna, every prospective parent should go through a course
with somebody like you to help train them before the
kid is born.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Absolutely, you know, I talk about that in all of
my books What creates a healthy physically mentally healthy child?
And I have three little granddaughters right now, and it's
just delightful to be around them because they have had
that type of parenting and even though there's been some
traumatic experiences that have happened, the mother has been there
for them, nurturing them, loving them and forming really close
(04:35):
attachments to them. And those children are just so happy,
and you know, they cry when they're sad or they
get angry, and they express it, but they express it
with words and not by throwing things or hitting things.
And so this is the elements where the nurturing is there.
There's a safe, close attachment to that parent. And it
could be the father, the mother, hopefully both, but especially
(04:58):
it starts with the mother. And when someone can, you know,
how take the effort to breastfeed their baby, it really
is the easiest way to go. You can you can
put the baby, you know, close to you go back
to sleep. You don't have to get up and do
bottles and all of that, which is sleep interruption and
very stressful in the middle of the night. And so
(05:20):
to be able to look into that baby's eyes and
emanate love and worth. Children that are raised like that,
who know that they are important, that they matter, and
then they have their little natural talents that start blossoming,
and you cultivate those, and you give them guidance and
manners and structure without too much. They are well adjusted
(05:42):
and they go out into the world as happy, well
adjusted people.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
They don't have to do.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Like some of us online all of that and then
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Don I was too much shy of twenty one when
my first daughter was born years years years ago. Oh
but I didn't know when much about childhood and parents.
But what I didn't know was the way I was raised,
and that's what I did. That's the only training I had.
I just looked at how my folks took care of me,
(06:12):
and I did the same thing and she turned out.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Okay, Well, she must have gotten enough love that she's fine.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
And that's the key.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You know that children feel that they're important, that they
have software that their parents value them. And it never
has to be perfect nobody. In fact, if it were perfect,
it would be dysfunctional because if you raise a child
thinking that the world is perfect, then they go.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Out in the real world. They can't the skills to
cope with the ever auctions.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Then it's shell shock when in the real world, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yes, yes, So it doesn't have to be perfect. There's
no perfect parenting. It just has to be good enough.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
What do you think some of the most powerful mindsets
can be for people who want to change their life
for the better, they're simply not happy doing what they're
doing right now.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, for you decide that you deserve to be happy,
and what is it that you want, Because if you
want something, it's probably there in you for a reason.
And if you are living a life of purpose and
meeting and you're fulfilling that purpose and meaning that you're
(07:27):
here on the planet to do, then you're going to
be happy. And so if there's things that you're doing
that are interfering with you being able to fulfill your purpose,
and I mean fully, I mean a lot of people
have addictions or habits that are interfering with the quality
of their happiness. So maybe they're even highly successful, or
(07:50):
maybe they're doing what they want, but they're not fulfilled.
So we have to we can't just put everything into
one little box, you know, like, have a meaningful purpose
of a life and you'll be happy. There's a lot
of components to a meaningful, purposeal, purposeful life, and that
includes living your life in such a way that you
(08:10):
are fully alive and that you're not numbing out yourself
with certain behaviors that are robbing you of your vitality
and your spiritual energy.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Donnie, can you give us an example that you don't
have to give us names obviously, of somebody who came
to you unhappy or had issues and you helped turn
them around, and how you did that.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Well? Absolutely, I had.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I sometimes work with businesses, and I had a business
that I was working with, and.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
All of the key people.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
In the business there were four at all males, and
they were all at odds with one another, and one
by one they we've identified different things that were going on,
and in every case there was an addiction going on.
One had an alcohol actually a drug and sex addiction.
(09:03):
One of them had an alcoholic addiction, one of them
had an eating disorder, and then the main person had
till disorders. So one by one we and I don't
dive into it right away, but you know, over time,
one by one, all four of them were able to
(09:23):
reclaim themselves and be free from those disorders that were
interfering with their happiness. And once that was out of
the way, then they were resected to learning better communication skills,
setting up a system of communication and a way to
run the business that wasn't at odds. And one of
the persons actually did have to leave the business and
(09:46):
is better off for it. Everyone is better off for it.
But it was a challenging case. But it's the type
of thing that I deal with all the time. Almost
everyone that comes into my office either has some form
of addiction. They don't realize it, and I always say,
it's nobody's fault. If someone has an addiction, it's no
(10:08):
one's fault because a lot of research goes in to
developing products that make a person want more. I was
hearing today that this AI which I'm all about, I
use it myself all the time.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
It's a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
However, when it's used to manipulate children like don't hang
up now, or can't you talk a little bit longer?
You know, there's research that goes into getting people addicted
to things. The level of alcohol content and a drink
doesn't need to be as high as it is, but
it makes the brain want more. Whatever we're dealing with,
(10:44):
whether it's pornography or gambling, all of these things, we
need to reclaim our brains. This is my sacred command
center here in my head, and you don't get to
own it. I own it. And so when we have
when we start to care enough about ourselves, that's the
first step step and self love is I own my
brain and you can't have it. I get to decide
(11:07):
what's good for me and what's not good for me.
And so when we raise our children that way, And
this is what I teach my parents to my patients,
to reclaim themselves in those consciousness that they matter, that
they are lovable, that they are worth whatever amount of
effort they think that they're going to have.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
To go through to get back to who they really are.
They are worth it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Were these four individuals, these four men from the company,
were they honest to you and tower themselves?
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Well? I think they were more.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
As in most situations, whether it's a family or business,
people can see the other much better than they can
see themselves. So in this particular situation, there was a
targeted person who had the obvious alcohol problems. But then
when I started talking to them individually, the first person
who was mad at the alcoholic had an eating disorder,
(12:06):
so that got addressed. And he also wasn't happy in
the company and wanted to do his own thing and
felt held back. So he was able to do that,
which was very good. And then the fingers started pointing
in other directions, one by one. And fortunately, of course
I don't just say here this, here's your problem, Go
get help. You know, it's a process of getting through
(12:28):
the denial and inspiring. I don't ever shame anybody. I
try to inspire people. I think that down deep, we
all want to be healthy and well and happy, and
so when we understand what's interfering with that, we do
want to correct it. But a lot of people feel
so ashamed and so guilty, and that's just another way
(12:50):
of staying unhealthy. We have to be willing to turn
on that light inside and see passed and not be
blaming ourselves. That we've come impaired in some way. There
are so many factors involved, Like I said, research that
goes into getting people addicted, but also some of us
have suffered a great deal of pain in our lives
(13:11):
and said, we just got in the habit of self medicating,
or maybe we're in very unhappy situations.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
And we didn't mean to become addicted. It just happened.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
But I want to inspire people that there's always a
layout of that naze and when we learn to fill
that emptiness inside or that invisible hole I call it,
with more than just something out there. You can be
driven by that inner light, by that self love, and
learn how to love yourself, learn how to care for yourself,
learn how to talk about it, learn how to reach out,
(13:43):
learn how to help other people, learn how to have friends,
learn how to be a friend. Learn how to care
for yourself, Take care of your body, take care of
your mind. This takes a little bit of effort, and
those children who are raised like that, it's not any
effort for them at all. They don't feel comfortable when
they're not using the self care. But some of us
(14:04):
were neglected or didn't know how to do that, and
so we must learn how to do that before we
can even begin to want to be better.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Do you find that the spiritual person is a happier person.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I do believe that spiritual people are happier people, but
I think that everyone has to find their own form
of spirituality and to say that there's one way when
we can see that this vast universe.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Has lots of things going on all the time, So.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I don't believe that there's one way, but I do
believe that love is the way. And so I always
tell people if you have a difficulty with the word God,
which I do not.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
I believe in God and that is my higher power.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
But if you don't, if that doesn't work for you,
find something that does.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
For some people, it's nature. They'll go for a walk
in the woods and they feel.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Plugged in, or they can be out on the water
and a boat and just know that there's some thing
more than just this. And so whatever it is, whether
it's music or dali lama or whatever, find it. But
it's something that's going to tap inside of you. Because
I do believe we all are spiritual in nature and
(15:17):
we may not realize it, but that's why there's always
those two voices. There that human voice that tries to
talk us of this doing the next wrong thing. But
there's always that spiritual voice also, that self love that says,
try this, it might work this time. Try caring about yourself,
Try reaching out to others. Get out of bed, no
(15:38):
matter how depressed you are. But one dish in the dishwasher,
take one step out the door. Little pieces at a time.
I was recently working with the woman who becomes so
depressed that she could not get out of bed, and
she was having so much tension in her body that
she was in severe pain, and her psychiatrist was putting
(15:59):
her on kinds of medication and unfortunately, you know, this
is counterproductive to healing. That this particular person had gone
through a series of traumatic events as an adult. She
also had a very happy childhood, but she got bombarded
by one tsunami way back to the next and she
did not have the resources of coping with that, and
finally it consumed her. So this is another example of
(16:23):
someone who was people hire me for a month at
a time. I just have a concierge practice, and I
do very intensive work with them, and the end of
the month, she's like I'm going here, I'm going here
and doing this, So I'm doing that. She was herself
again and even beyond that, because she worked through all
that pain that had been buried inside of her. She
didn't know how to grieve and she didn't know how
(16:44):
to accept that she had been through all this trauma.
So we must understand that we are human beings and
that we go through things, but no matter what we've
been through, we can process that, we can work it out,
and we can even be better than we before all
that came.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Listen to more Coast to Coast AM every weeknight at
one a m. Eastern and go to Coast to coastam
dot com for more
Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast AM on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Man, Welcome back to Coast to Coast George nor You
with doctor Donna Marcus. Or website again is linked up
at Coast TOCOASTAM dot com, Dona. When somebody comes to
you as a psychotherapist, what do they generally want help for?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Well, most people that come to therapy are suffering. They're
in pain, and that's what brings them to getting help.
Very few the people come in and say, I'm feeling great,
I want to feel better, and so that's just the
nature of the business. They want to get out of
the pain that they're in. Are they feel that something's
missing in their lives, which is more subtle pain, but
nevertheless it's a driving force.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Is it physical pain or mental pain, emotional.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Emotional emotional pain? And so when they come in and
I listen to them and ask certain questions, I try
to find out what is causing that pain or that
discontent or that this needs in them.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
How much of it has caused from childhood? In your opinion, Well,
I think.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
That most people who are experiencing situations in their life
that are troubling them almost always have something going on
in their childhood, and it could be that it's not obvious.
It could be that there was one particular person had
a you know, helicopter type mom, and it overpowered him
(01:29):
and made him feel inadequate, and so whenever he feels
that he's being controlled, he reacts. And yet you can say,
what kind of childhood did you have? It was perfect,
my parents stayed married or must stay at home. Mom
had all my needs met, But that need to control
that little boy that grew up into adolescents and even
(01:52):
off the college, she's still trying to.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Control his environment and come.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Decorate, you know, where he was living in. All it
away this sense of individuality and masculinity, but so important.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
For young men.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Children need to be monitored, they need to be sheltered,
They need a certain amount of control. But micromanaging is
never healthy. So it could be something more subtle like that,
or it could be something like I grew up in whatever,
they're just total chaos and emotional craziness and high levels
of a neglect and abuse, and so whatever the case is,
(02:30):
there usually is some type of route there going backwards.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
With the parents involved. Is it normally the man or
the woman, the father or the mother that may be
the one who's causing some of the issues or both.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, it could be either or or both. It just
depends on what's happening. The mother is usually the one
that gets the brunk culture because she, you know, she
is the one who carries the baby, and she is
the one who the nurtures allegedly, you know, supposed to
be the nurture. She is the one that is the
(03:06):
protector in that situation. But some moms, and again I
don't want to blame anybody. You know, when people are
inadequate parents, it's because they did not receive adequate training,
or there is something causing them to be inadequate that
hasn't been addressed.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I mean, it's conceivable their parents didn't treat them right.
And it just goes all the way back, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
You know, Foreyd talked about that life is a reenactment
of the past, and so we do need to look
at what happened to their parents and their parents. It's
often intergenerational types of situations that occur. But we don't
have to be victims of that. We can wake up
at any moment and say no more. It stops here.
(03:54):
Here's the tree, and I'm stopping it here.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
At this level, I.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Think, Donna, every prospective parent should go through a course
with somebody like you to help train them before the
kid is born.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Absolutely, you know, I talk about that in all of
my books What creates a healthy physically mentally healthy child?
And I have three little granddaughters right now, and it's
just delightful to be around them because they have had
that type of parenting and even though there's been some
traumatic experiences that have happened, the mother has been there
for them, nurturing them, loving them and forming really close
(04:35):
attachments to them. And those children are just so happy,
and you know, they cry when they're sad or they
get angry, and they express it, but they express it
with words and not by throwing things or hitting things.
And so this is the elements where the nurturing is there.
There's a safe, close attachment to that parent. And it
could be the father, the mother, hopefully both, but especially
(04:58):
it starts with the mother. And when someone can, you know,
how take the effort to breastfeed their baby, it really
is the easiest way to go. You can you can
put the baby, you know, close to you go back
to sleep. You don't have to get up and do
bottles and all of that, which is sleep interruption and
very stressful in the middle of the night. And so
(05:20):
to be able to look into that baby's eyes and
emanate love and worth. Children that are raised like that,
who know that they are important, that they matter, and
then they have their little natural talents that start blossoming,
and you cultivate those, and you give them guidance and
manners and structure without too much. They are well adjusted
(05:42):
and they go out into the world as happy, well
adjusted people.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
They don't have to do.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Like some of us online all of that and then
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Don I was too much shy of twenty one when
my first daughter was born years years years ago. Oh
but I didn't know when much about childhood and parents.
But what I didn't know was the way I was raised,
and that's what I did. That's the only training I had.
I just looked at how my folks took care of me,
(06:12):
and I did the same thing and she turned out.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Okay, Well, she must have gotten enough love that she's fine.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
And that's the key.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You know that children feel that they're important, that they
have software that their parents value them. And it never
has to be perfect nobody. In fact, if it were perfect,
it would be dysfunctional because if you raise a child
thinking that the world is perfect, then they go.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Out in the real world. They can't the skills to
cope with the ever auctions.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Then it's shell shock when in the real world, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yes, yes, So it doesn't have to be perfect. There's
no perfect parenting. It just has to be good enough.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
What do you think some of the most powerful mindsets
can be for people who want to change their life
for the better, they're simply not happy doing what they're
doing right now.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, for you decide that you deserve to be happy,
and what is it that you want, Because if you
want something, it's probably there in you for a reason.
And if you are living a life of purpose and
meeting and you're fulfilling that purpose and meaning that you're
(07:27):
here on the planet to do, then you're going to
be happy. And so if there's things that you're doing
that are interfering with you being able to fulfill your purpose,
and I mean fully, I mean a lot of people
have addictions or habits that are interfering with the quality
of their happiness. So maybe they're even highly successful, or
(07:50):
maybe they're doing what they want, but they're not fulfilled.
So we have to we can't just put everything into
one little box, you know, like, have a meaningful purpose
of a life and you'll be happy. There's a lot
of components to a meaningful, purposeal, purposeful life, and that
includes living your life in such a way that you
(08:10):
are fully alive and that you're not numbing out yourself
with certain behaviors that are robbing you of your vitality
and your spiritual energy.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Donnie, can you give us an example that you don't
have to give us names obviously, of somebody who came
to you unhappy or had issues and you helped turn
them around, and how you did that.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Well? Absolutely, I had.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I sometimes work with businesses, and I had a business
that I was working with, and.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
All of the key people.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
In the business there were four at all males, and
they were all at odds with one another, and one
by one they we've identified different things that were going on,
and in every case there was an addiction going on.
One had an alcohol actually a drug and sex addiction.
(09:03):
One of them had an alcoholic addiction, one of them
had an eating disorder, and then the main person had
till disorders. So one by one we and I don't
dive into it right away, but you know, over time,
one by one, all four of them were able to
(09:23):
reclaim themselves and be free from those disorders that were
interfering with their happiness. And once that was out of
the way, then they were resected to learning better communication skills,
setting up a system of communication and a way to
run the business that wasn't at odds. And one of
the persons actually did have to leave the business and
(09:46):
is better off for it. Everyone is better off for it.
But it was a challenging case. But it's the type
of thing that I deal with all the time. Almost
everyone that comes into my office either has some form
of addiction. They don't realize it, and I always say,
it's nobody's fault. If someone has an addiction, it's no
(10:08):
one's fault because a lot of research goes in to
developing products that make a person want more. I was
hearing today that this AI which I'm all about, I
use it myself all the time.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
It's a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
However, when it's used to manipulate children like don't hang
up now, or can't you talk a little bit longer?
You know, there's research that goes into getting people addicted
to things. The level of alcohol content and a drink
doesn't need to be as high as it is, but
it makes the brain want more. Whatever we're dealing with,
(10:44):
whether it's pornography or gambling, all of these things, we
need to reclaim our brains. This is my sacred command
center here in my head, and you don't get to
own it. I own it. And so when we have
when we start to care enough about ourselves, that's the
first step step and self love is I own my
brain and you can't have it. I get to decide
(11:07):
what's good for me and what's not good for me.
And so when we raise our children that way, And
this is what I teach my parents to my patients,
to reclaim themselves in those consciousness that they matter, that
they are lovable, that they are worth whatever amount of
effort they think that they're going to have.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
To go through to get back to who they really are.
They are worth it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Were these four individuals, these four men from the company,
were they honest to you and tower themselves?
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Well? I think they were more.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
As in most situations, whether it's a family or business,
people can see the other much better than they can
see themselves. So in this particular situation, there was a
targeted person who had the obvious alcohol problems. But then
when I started talking to them individually, the first person
who was mad at the alcoholic had an eating disorder,
(12:06):
so that got addressed. And he also wasn't happy in
the company and wanted to do his own thing and
felt held back. So he was able to do that,
which was very good. And then the fingers started pointing
in other directions, one by one. And fortunately, of course
I don't just say here this, here's your problem, Go
get help. You know, it's a process of getting through
(12:28):
the denial and inspiring. I don't ever shame anybody. I
try to inspire people. I think that down deep, we
all want to be healthy and well and happy, and
so when we understand what's interfering with that, we do
want to correct it. But a lot of people feel
so ashamed and so guilty, and that's just another way
(12:50):
of staying unhealthy. We have to be willing to turn
on that light inside and see passed and not be
blaming ourselves. That we've come impaired in some way. There
are so many factors involved, Like I said, research that
goes into getting people addicted, but also some of us
have suffered a great deal of pain in our lives
(13:11):
and said, we just got in the habit of self medicating,
or maybe we're in very unhappy situations.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
And we didn't mean to become addicted. It just happened.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
But I want to inspire people that there's always a
layout of that naze and when we learn to fill
that emptiness inside or that invisible hole I call it,
with more than just something out there. You can be
driven by that inner light, by that self love, and
learn how to love yourself, learn how to care for yourself,
learn how to talk about it, learn how to reach out,
(13:43):
learn how to help other people, learn how to have friends,
learn how to be a friend. Learn how to care
for yourself, Take care of your body, take care of
your mind. This takes a little bit of effort, and
those children who are raised like that, it's not any
effort for them at all. They don't feel comfortable when
they're not using the self care. But some of us
(14:04):
were neglected or didn't know how to do that, and
so we must learn how to do that before we
can even begin to want to be better.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Do you find that the spiritual person is a happier person.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I do believe that spiritual people are happier people, but
I think that everyone has to find their own form
of spirituality and to say that there's one way when
we can see that this vast universe.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Has lots of things going on all the time, So.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I don't believe that there's one way, but I do
believe that love is the way. And so I always
tell people if you have a difficulty with the word God,
which I do not.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
I believe in God and that is my higher power.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
But if you don't, if that doesn't work for you,
find something that does.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
For some people, it's nature. They'll go for a walk
in the woods and they feel.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Plugged in, or they can be out on the water
and a boat and just know that there's some thing
more than just this. And so whatever it is, whether
it's music or dali lama or whatever, find it. But
it's something that's going to tap inside of you. Because
I do believe we all are spiritual in nature and
(15:17):
we may not realize it, but that's why there's always
those two voices. There that human voice that tries to
talk us of this doing the next wrong thing. But
there's always that spiritual voice also, that self love that says,
try this, it might work this time. Try caring about yourself,
Try reaching out to others. Get out of bed, no
(15:38):
matter how depressed you are. But one dish in the dishwasher,
take one step out the door. Little pieces at a time.
I was recently working with the woman who becomes so
depressed that she could not get out of bed, and
she was having so much tension in her body that
she was in severe pain, and her psychiatrist was putting
(15:59):
her on kinds of medication and unfortunately, you know, this
is counterproductive to healing. That this particular person had gone
through a series of traumatic events as an adult. She
also had a very happy childhood, but she got bombarded
by one tsunami way back to the next and she
did not have the resources of coping with that, and
finally it consumed her. So this is another example of
(16:23):
someone who was people hire me for a month at
a time. I just have a concierge practice, and I
do very intensive work with them, and the end of
the month, she's like I'm going here, I'm going here
and doing this, So I'm doing that. She was herself
again and even beyond that, because she worked through all
that pain that had been buried inside of her. She
didn't know how to grieve and she didn't know how
(16:44):
to accept that she had been through all this trauma.
So we must understand that we are human beings and
that we go through things, but no matter what we've
been through, we can process that, we can work it out,
and we can even be better than we before all
that came.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
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