Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Bona Mop

Mr. Michael Oppenheimer, the worst salesman in the world, refuses to give up trying to sell the Bona Mop!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tappen.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Who's doing it today? I oh scary. Derek got in
touch with us.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
He wanted to play a phone tap on one of
his employees, Courtney. As it turns out, she despises telemarketers,
so he thought that the Michael Oppenheimer telemarketer phone tap
would be the way to go for her. She's been
known not to ignore telemarketers that she gets. She actually
plays with them on the phone. She yells back at them.
So she's the perfect candidate.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, let's see how it does today's phone tap. Hello, goodtune.
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Bona Hardwood floor mop.
Bring out the best in your hardwood floors. The Bona
Harwood floor mop combines a premium, non toxic newance. Hi,
how are you?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Is this the real person?

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes? For just thirty nine dollars and ninety five cents
I thought you were recording and eight dollars in ninety
five cents shipping and handling, you can enjoy the Bona Heart.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
No I have to go.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hello, good tune. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Bona.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Hardwood floor man, you just called here.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes, it's ergonomic design makes it easy for anyone.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Why do you keep going? Hello? Hi? I already talked
to you and I don't need anything.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Do you have a home, please don't call it? You
have hardwood floors?

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Are you kidding?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the bone for real, the Bona
Hardwood floor mop. Do you have hardwood floors?

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Excuse me? I don't talk to you twice? I don't
have hardwood floors. Why do you keep calling my number?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Because the Bona Hardwood Floor mop will make cleaning easey?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
No, you're a boner dude? Are you kidding me? Take
me off your list.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Your Bona Hardwood Floor up squirts a fine miss everywhere?

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Hello? Do you hear me? Are you either?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
You can hear you? Fine?

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Okay? So why are you not responding to what I'm
saying to you?

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Because I'm letting you know the features and benefits.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Listen to me? Hello, Hello talking? Stop talking? Don't call
my house again?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Helloume. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Bona Hardwood
floor getting me. You could slide your Bona across any
hardwood surface.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
First of all. Are you even talking about sliding a boner.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
As it sways back and forth? Notice how it doesn't
leave any streaks.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Gave you my number. You are you biving me? You
have called here five times about the same mops.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
You were in a list of people to be called today.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Okay, and you called me and I told you no.
And if you call here again, I'm gonna call the
coups people plasm. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (02:31):
People are using their bona all over the house.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
I don't even know why I'm talking to you. I
want your supervisors.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Do you have them? Do you have the maid? This
would be the ultimate gift?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
And why do you keep talking like a robot?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
You didn't give me a chance to explain a little
bit how the bonu didn't.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Give me a chance to kick your ass, which is
what I'm going to do. Tell me your name again.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
You wrap your hands around the bonum.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Shut up? Do you story to get a mop?

Speaker 2 (02:57):
This is a special mop which quirts a spray.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
There's no such thing as a special mop or slippers
quarts the spray. And it's like five dollars.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
You can even use your bona in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Do you what do you want to call you twenty
times a day and sell you boner if.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
You buy one now, we'll also throw in a refillable
cartridge and machine washable pad.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
I'm going to take eight hundred and I'm going to
shove them all up here.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
You'll be a happier person with a Bona in your life.
But don't take my word for it. Cynthia from tallahas
He says, Oh my god, thanks to my bona. Cleaning
is a cinch. I love the size of it.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Cynthia from Tallahassee is obviously a dumb ass or stupid
bitch who doesn't have a job and doesn't have anything
better to do. She's five than to sit down and
talk on the phone to you. I swear to that
if you call me one more time, I am going
to find your number. I'm going to put you away harassment. Hello,

(03:50):
this is.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Mister Michael Uppenheimer with the Bona hardwood floor mop. Beautifully Beautify, protect.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Your mop talks. Then you're a.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Big beautiful I protect and restore your hardwood floors.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Is this how you talk to your girlfriend? Because I
can't even believe that you have a girlfriend, because you're
an idiot. You're an idiot.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I sell hardwood mops for a living.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
No you don't, because who's buying this?

Speaker 2 (04:15):
It's safe on all woods?

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Answer me? How can you make a sale if you
don't talk to people.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I'm paying attention to you.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
You're like a max had room. Hello, this is.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the hard I want one.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
I want one. Listen. I'm in love with you and
I want to have your baby. Can you come to
my house right now? Because I really want to have
your baby?

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Which credit card would you want to.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
I want to own them and suckle them to my
and talk to them about mops every night. I'm going
to go into the room and be like, do you
know why we have such beautiful hardwood floors? Because your
daddy sells mops genius. He is the best stout person
that has ever known. And I'm gonna bend down right
to their ear and I'm gonna go, baby, do you

(05:07):
know about the bonu up? Have you heard about the
bone up? The baby? Because that's what made you a millionaires?

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Like that? It's nice?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah? You like that? You like that? You like that baby?
Oh I have my baby? Oh God, floors?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Give you this cleaning. Oh my god, and you've been
phone tapped?

Speaker 1 (05:32):
What what?

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Cortney?

Speaker 1 (05:35):
This is scary.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Jones and Als in the Morning.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Show time, No God, I'm gonna lay for work. We
gotta talk about the bone of mop when I just scare.
Oh my god, that's my boss, you guys man. Phone tap.

(06:00):
This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participants the Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis
Duran in the Morning Show