June 3, 2024 • 5 mins
The horribly persistent Mr. Michael Oppenheimer tries to sell the Flex Flashlight on the first ever Oppenheimer Phone Tap with ZERO hang ups!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Elvis Duran phone tapped the.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Letter Dear Elvis, my dad hates telephone telemarketers.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Oh you know what that means.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yeah, it's another job for Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This email comes to us from Alex.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
All right, Alex Scary Jones, as mister Michael Oppenheimer, our residents,
annoying telemarketer will be calling your dad to sell him something.
Who knows or who cares what it is, It doesn't matter.
By the way, this is the first Michael Oppenheimer phone
tap where the victim stays on the phone the whole time.
It doesn't hang up one time. Wow, let's listen into
today's phone tap.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Here we go, allow this far I canna help you?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Oh yes, good afterne. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with
niney said dot com. How are you doing today, sir?
With hell, I have the mister FLECKX flexible flashlight here
for sale for just nine dollars and ninety five cents.
You can deamlight where you need it. How does that
sound to you?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It sounds like why are you calling me on my
cellphone trying to sell me stuff?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Because your name was on a list of people to
be called today that you might be interested in this product.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I'm not interested in anybody calling me on my cellphone
trying to sell me something, So could you do me
a favor and get me off you lit.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
It's got a high intensity crypt on bulb.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I got flash light so you can get a sun can.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
With perfect for autos reading home.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I don't drive. I walk everywhere I go.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Maybe while you're fixing the toilet under the sink.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I have somebody that comes in to do that kind
of stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
The mister flex flexible flashlight beams light into any orifice.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Maybe you could shine that light up your ass off
the beams lighted to any orifice.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
It has a goose necked handle, making it able to
bend and reach deep into dark nooks and crannies.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So it sounds suitable to do deep squats on. You
should try it sometimes, sir.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Mister flex flashlight features a flank two and a half
inch magnetic base for your hands free use. Oh yes, sir,
and if you act now, you get the second one free.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
You mean I can get two of something I don't want.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
How many would you like to purchase today, sir.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Thirty six hundred of them. I just want to borrow
one for everyone that lives in my town. So I
think if we just gave a whole bunch of these
flash lights down, maybe they might have left me there,
and well, maybe then I could everybody's life.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, how would you like to pay for these, sir?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I'll trade my wife for them, because I won't need
anymore of them everybody else's wife.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
We only accept credit card obviously, or CD cash on delivery, sir, Ah, how.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
About you just take my wife instead?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
How about this, Let's get your information and we'll get
your order processed immediately. How does that sound?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
You know? I would almost say that I would hire
you as a sales guy for my company.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
You have a company, sir, You're amazing.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You're doing the wrong thing. You need to go out
and sell something that maysy better commissions or something.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Why is that, sir?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Because I can't believe I'll focus you are, It's unbelievable.
I can hardly stay focused on this end of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
It's also great for emergency lighting and camping outdoors. Do
you camp, sir?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I know, but I get a big refrigerator box or
something and me and my kids go camping and we
hang out in it. We'll ut yet it kind of
closes the problem when we actually make a campfire inside.
My wife gets pretty upset. And that's the reason why
I want to trade her. If it's only six hundred
of your flashlights, so I can give them out to
everyone in my neighborhood. You know, Can you do me
a favor?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
What's that?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Can you send me your resume?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Why is that?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Because, to be honest with you, you have been the
most focused telemarketing guy I've ever heard in my life.
I can't believe you haven't hung off on me yet
You're still sticking with it. Every time you say something,
you lead back to the mister flex flexible flashlight. You
said it so many times even I know what it's
called at this point, and I'm telling you I will
(03:55):
give you a job. You'll make one hundred thousand dollars
a year.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
One hundred thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Think about how many mister flex flexible flashlights did you buy?
With that, bro, Sir, I.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Get commissioned on the sale of each one. If you
buy thirty six hundred, maybe I should stay at this job.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
I'm not gonna buy thirty six hundred. How that I'm
not gonna buy any But if you send me your resume,
I will give you a job and you will make
one hundred thousand dollars a year. Really, some of the
salespeople I've had to work for me are humongous idiots,
and they make eighty thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Wow. Well, I must say you've been quite the customer here.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
You're offered to tell you something. I really enjoyed chatting
with you too, if you really want to know the truth, and.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
We've enjoyed phone tapping you.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Oh awesome, this is scary.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Jones Melvison rand in the Morning Show, you got phone
tapped nice by your thirteen year old son Alex.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
No, that was great. I can't believe that. That's too funny.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Elvis Duran's phone time. This phone tab was pre recorded
with permission granted by all participants.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Elvis Duran phone tapped the.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Letter Dear Elvis, my dad hates telephone telemarketers.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Oh you know what that means.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yeah, it's another job for Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This email comes to us from Alex.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
All right, Alex Scary Jones, as mister Michael Oppenheimer, our residents,
annoying telemarketer will be calling your dad to sell him something.
Who knows or who cares what it is, It doesn't matter.
By the way, this is the first Michael Oppenheimer phone
tap where the victim stays on the phone the whole time.
It doesn't hang up one time. Wow, let's listen into
today's phone tap.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Here we go, allow this far I canna help you?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Oh yes, good afterne. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with
niney said dot com. How are you doing today, sir?
With hell, I have the mister FLECKX flexible flashlight here
for sale for just nine dollars and ninety five cents.
You can deamlight where you need it. How does that
sound to you?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It sounds like why are you calling me on my
cellphone trying to sell me stuff?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Because your name was on a list of people to
be called today that you might be interested in this product.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I'm not interested in anybody calling me on my cellphone
trying to sell me something, So could you do me
a favor and get me off you lit.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
It's got a high intensity crypt on bulb.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I got flash light so you can get a sun can.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
With perfect for autos reading home.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I don't drive. I walk everywhere I go.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Maybe while you're fixing the toilet under the sink.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I have somebody that comes in to do that kind
of stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
The mister flex flexible flashlight beams light into any orifice.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Maybe you could shine that light up your ass off
the beams lighted to any orifice.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
It has a goose necked handle, making it able to
bend and reach deep into dark nooks and crannies.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So it sounds suitable to do deep squats on. You
should try it sometimes, sir.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Mister flex flashlight features a flank two and a half
inch magnetic base for your hands free use. Oh yes, sir,
and if you act now, you get the second one free.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
You mean I can get two of something I don't want.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
How many would you like to purchase today, sir.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Thirty six hundred of them. I just want to borrow
one for everyone that lives in my town. So I
think if we just gave a whole bunch of these
flash lights down, maybe they might have left me there,
and well, maybe then I could everybody's life.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, how would you like to pay for these, sir?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I'll trade my wife for them, because I won't need
anymore of them everybody else's wife.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
We only accept credit card obviously, or CD cash on delivery, sir, Ah, how.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
About you just take my wife instead?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
How about this, Let's get your information and we'll get
your order processed immediately. How does that sound?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
You know? I would almost say that I would hire
you as a sales guy for my company.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
You have a company, sir, You're amazing.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You're doing the wrong thing. You need to go out
and sell something that maysy better commissions or something.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Why is that, sir?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Because I can't believe I'll focus you are, It's unbelievable.
I can hardly stay focused on this end of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
It's also great for emergency lighting and camping outdoors. Do
you camp, sir?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I know, but I get a big refrigerator box or
something and me and my kids go camping and we
hang out in it. We'll ut yet it kind of
closes the problem when we actually make a campfire inside.
My wife gets pretty upset. And that's the reason why
I want to trade her. If it's only six hundred
of your flashlights, so I can give them out to
everyone in my neighborhood. You know, Can you do me
a favor?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
What's that?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Can you send me your resume?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Why is that?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Because, to be honest with you, you have been the
most focused telemarketing guy I've ever heard in my life.
I can't believe you haven't hung off on me yet
You're still sticking with it. Every time you say something,
you lead back to the mister flex flexible flashlight. You
said it so many times even I know what it's
called at this point, and I'm telling you I will
(03:55):
give you a job. You'll make one hundred thousand dollars
a year.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
One hundred thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Think about how many mister flex flexible flashlights did you buy?
With that, bro, Sir, I.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Get commissioned on the sale of each one. If you
buy thirty six hundred, maybe I should stay at this job.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
I'm not gonna buy thirty six hundred. How that I'm
not gonna buy any But if you send me your resume,
I will give you a job and you will make
one hundred thousand dollars a year. Really, some of the
salespeople I've had to work for me are humongous idiots,
and they make eighty thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Wow. Well, I must say you've been quite the customer here.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
You're offered to tell you something. I really enjoyed chatting
with you too, if you really want to know the truth, and.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
We've enjoyed phone tapping you.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Oh awesome, this is scary.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Jones Melvison rand in the Morning Show, you got phone
tapped nice by your thirteen year old son Alex.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
No, that was great. I can't believe that. That's too funny.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Elvis Duran's phone time. This phone tab was pre recorded
with permission granted by all participants.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
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