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June 19, 2024 4 mins
Everyone hates a pushy salesmen, which is where Mr. Michael Oppenheimer shines!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis durand the Elvis Durand phones happened a lot of
phone calls coming in from Michael Oppenheimer. Let's see how
he does. The email reads. My grandmother absolutely hates telemarketers.
She's been known to blow whistles into the phone.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
When they call.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh no, my whole family hates telemarketers. My grandmother lives
with my aunt and my mom and even my uncle.
They all hang out together and wait for the phone
to ring so they can yell at the telemarketers. This
is a job for Michael Oppenheimer. Don't you think Michael
let him have it. This comes to us from Karen
and Kenilworth, New Jersey. All right, Karen, scary as Michael

(00:37):
Oppenheimer is going to make the call. Listen as Karen's grandmother, aunt, mom,
and even uncle Eddie all get involved with a phone call.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
From Michael Oppenheimer. Hello. Oh yes, good afternoon. This is
mister Michael Openham. Hi, this is mister Michael.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I can't hear you.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
This is miss Hello, good morning. This is mister monkey.
You have to talk louder.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I can't hear you.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the New Jersey Walk
Along for Literacy? How are you doing today? Miss? Hello? Greetings,
this is mister I can't hear you, you can hear
me just fine. Would you like to lend a helping
hand for the illiteracy? Hello? Oh, yes, good afternoon. This

(01:32):
is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the New Jersey Walk Along
for Literacy. How are you doing today? I'd like to
tell you a little bit about that you one or not?
I mean, after I hang up three times you keep
calling back? Just a word about our program here this
afternoon a recording. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the

(01:53):
New Jersey Walk Along for Literacy. How are you doing? Literacy?
For literacy? Maybe there's someone in your family who cannot
read or write. We're not interested. Maybe you'd like to
put a donation in?

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Maybe maybe I wouldn't you know.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
In today's society, reading is fundamental. Hello greetings, This is
mister Michael Oppenheimer again with the New Jersey Walk Along
for Literacy. How are you doing, Michael Heimer? Yes, we'd
like to tell you about what from what the New
Jersey Walk Along for Literacy? Walk Along for Literacy? My

(02:30):
call for you today is twofold. Want to let you
know about an upcoming event we have going on on
Sunday at the Middlelands. And the other is to ask
for a small financial donation this time.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay? Can I have your full name? Please? No, you'll
find that when I get the cops to come over.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Where are you located?

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Do you have anyone in your family who is illiterate?
And excuse me try trying to read through my scripts?
What's your phone number? Are you with me?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I am with you. Would you like to participate in
hour event? Okay? I might be interested? Okay, okay? Can
I hold you back when I'm interested? Can I have
your credit card number? Please? Kind of police man, I
help you. One out of every fifty seven children are
stricken with a a literacy disorder. Are you aware of this?
I have this tap?

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay, you need to get crazy. I don't appreciate calls
like that. And then I'm trying to I'm having this
wire tap.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I'm gonna have your job and I'm gonna suit you
for harassment. Miss A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Good.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I'm glad here, here's the cops.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Hello, I'm looking for missus Iron pastor. Please, They said
she was interested in making a donation before they Walk
Along for Literacy. Let me tell you something, pal for
a monetary donation of thirty hours. Yes, I'm gonna call
the cops right now and have your number. Tap jerk
for thirty dollars donation. Hello, yeah, yes, good afternoon. This

(03:59):
is miss to Michael Oppenheimer with the New Jersey Walk
Along for Literacy. How are you doing today?

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Is you know?

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Hey? Mike? Yeah? Hi? How are you doing? Bombster Royce
with the Kender Police?

Speaker 2 (04:13):
How are you?

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Very good? Let me ask you a questions. Where are
you from? From the New Jersey Walking? Yeah? I know
you told me that ten times.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
This has gotta be a freaking joke.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
You think I would think so. Karen is playing a
joke on all of you. Oh you've been phone tapped?
Who's this? This is scary Jones. I am going to
kill it. That's pretty damn phony. Elvis Duran's phone tap.
This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by

(04:43):
all participates.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
The Elvis Dan phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
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