Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Halloween Classic

In this Skeery/Oppenheimer classic, the world's most annoying salesman tries to get Kaitlyn's grandfather to order candy for Halloween!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis Duran.

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Elvis Duran phone tappen all.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
Right, Scary Caitlin wrote in and wanted a phone tap
her grandfather, who does not listen to the show and
sits at home all day and hates telephone telemarketers. So
I thought I would get in with mister Michael Oppenheimer,
the relentless telephone telemarketer.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
It was fantastic. Here we go today's phone tap. Oh yes,
kod afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Candy Counter
Online diirect dot com. How are you doing today's here?

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Who are you?

Speaker 1 (00:29):
The Candy Counter Online Direct can supply you with all
types of candy for all kinds of occasions.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
I don't need I don't eat candy at all.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
For instance, Halloween is on the way.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I don't have anything to do with Halloween, so I
don't have any candy and I don't need any.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
But you will have some ghosts and goblins coming to
your door as they trick you for treats.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
No, I don't think.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
So, this is mister Michael Oppenheim with Candy cam Unter
Online Direct.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Speak to you.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yes, we did, but I didn't finish what.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
I had to tell you, but you didn't understand. I
was finished talking to you. I don't need any children will.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Ring your doorbell and they will want to enjoy what's
in your tubo treats for nobody.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Nobody's gonna ring my doorbell, my lights. You're off the tub.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
I'd like to break you off a piece of the kitchen.
How can you rest the crisp crunching peanut buttery butterfingers.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
You're not listening to me. Do not call me anymore.
Call somebody and also gives it.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
This is mister Michael Appheimer with the tub o treats.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
You just called the same number again, Paul a different number.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Hello, sir, wouldn't you like to taste the rainbow of skittles?
You flt in your mouth, not in your hands?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Can go up here, As far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
I have one question for you.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Somebody else and take my number off of your phone
and go bother somebody who gives it, sir. One question
questions you don't you're not listening to me?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
How many licks does it take to get to the
center of a TUTSI pot.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
I don't get comedy lex It takes for anything. Don't
call me ever again. You're calling me again.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Oppenheimer's the name in Candy's my game.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
We'll even throw in a tube of toothpaste and twenty
five dollars off your next dental.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Visit my teeth and I don't need any toothpaste.

Speaker 5 (02:42):
Oh boy, this is mister Michael Lappenheimer with tabotreat.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
What's your number? Up and opera.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'd like to interest you in the Granny candy canister
for just twenty.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Nine dollars interest in a single thing you.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Let's take a trip down memory lane with wax.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
Lips, physicist memory, slow pokes, candy, cigarettes, sugar daddies.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I hate kids, checkolates, sag nuts and chunky. You could
take your chipluts and shove them up your sins. And
how about sugar baby, sugar baby?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Which credit card would you like to use today? Sir?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Credit card?

Speaker 5 (03:23):
Body whoppers, pop rocks, dumb dumbs, redet more, funk lemonheads,
pixie sticks, wah chuckles and bottle caps.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Who sour patch?

Speaker 2 (03:37):
You Mike, and I don't get you. I just need
some bas and quiet.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
What are you going to hand kids when they ring
your doorbell.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
I'm going that's not very nice.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
You were once a child, you know, Sarah and.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
You Ugar cad I was born sixty five.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
There's no long way to eat a Reese's. I don't
sneakers really satisfied? Sir? Are you that your life wouldn't
be so crotchety if you ate some.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Spend your all day talking to somebody that doesn't get.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Us, mister wondering how I know your name?

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Why do you I do you know my name?

Speaker 1 (04:25):
This is Kary Jones from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
From your granddaughter is playing a phone tap on you.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Ca Caitlin, got you good man.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Ca Caitlin's in big trouble.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
It's a joke on the radio.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
My blood pressures up about one hundred points phone tap.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
This phone table was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participants.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
The Elvis Dan phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show