Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Zone Pilates

Mr. Michael Oppenheimer, Skeery's infamous salesmen, tries to sell his Zone Pilates schtick to not one but TWO unsuspecting souls!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Elvis Duran phone tappen.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
The letter says, dear Elvis Durant, love listening anyway. My
husband hates telemarketers. Oh idea. My husband avoids telemarketers at
all costs. That's why I think you should have Michael
Oppenheimer give him a phone call. He's got a lot
of patience, but I think Michael Oppenheimer will wear him down.
This is from Nancy Barrera. All right, Nancy wants to
phone tap her husband, and Scary Jones is calling as

(00:28):
the world famous Michael Oppenheimer calling Nancy's husband on his
cell phone to sell him something anything. Later in the call,
he gets so frustrated he passes the phone to the
lady behind the counter at.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
The seven eleven.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
All right, listen to this Today's Michael Oppenheimer phone tap.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh yes, nettoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zone Pilates.
How are you doing today, sir? The surest way to
get into show off shape fast.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Thank you anyway, I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Here's how it works. The secret is the Zone Pilates sculpe.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Again, thank you for the time and I'm not interested, sir.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Zoom pilates only cost twenty nine dollars and ninety five
cents plus shipping and handling, and we'd like to place
your order now.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Nothing you call myself phone at sixty cents a minute.
It costs me enough. I'm not interested. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Is there someone who is obese in your family that
we can give this too?

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I said, I'm not interested, So that is your problem?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yes, sir?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Is the killing me?

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Hello?

Speaker 4 (01:28):
Hello, This is.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zone Pilates on.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
EVD Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
The incredible Zone Pilate system is the surest way to
get into shape fast.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
I would like to just offer you one of these today.
Not interested at an introductory offer of just twenty nine
ninety five plus shipping and handling.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Listen, I don't care who was free.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
I don't want it, sir.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
We will give you half off the price right now,
just enough?

Speaker 3 (01:51):
How about I only stick out my foot and you're
If you keep harassmy leave me alone.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
The zone Pilate system divides your body into three target areas.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
I'd like to divide your body into three target areas
if you keep calling me again.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Zone one focuses on toning your upper body. If you
want firm arms and shapely shoulders, you can use the
zoom pole.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Makes you think that I don't have firm arms and
shapely shoulders.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
I'm not doubting that you do, sir. Zone two is
designed to tighten your Yes. Zone two is designed to
tighten your abs and get rid of the flab sir.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Nuts hello.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Zone three will give you the long, lean, sleek thighs
and firm buns you've always wanted.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
All.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
If you act now, we will throw in this foot
guide matt absolutely free. Really, how does that sound?

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Is the foot guide map? Have a target that's in
your because that's where I'm gonna put my foot Sir.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
I will take your credit card information at this time.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Okay, are you ready?

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (02:52):
Your account number? Ye one three? F you leave me alone?
Thank you? You really sot to irritate me, just the
slightest bit, sir.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
If you act now, we will throw in six second abs.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Let me talk about that.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
No, how about the body burner?

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Another tough one?

Speaker 4 (03:15):
No, sir?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
What is your address so we could send you some
literature at this time?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Thirty two?

Speaker 4 (03:21):
Yes, g O A W A Y street and city.
Please it's spelled G O O.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
D b ye. What was the name of the city
that you have?

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Goodbye?

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Thank you? No?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Uh sir?

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Hello?

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Oh yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zone.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yes, you called me trying to sell me something?

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Helloh yes, good afternoon.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
Who's what company you're from?

Speaker 2 (03:53):
I'm from Zone Pilates on DVD. Who am I speaking with?

Speaker 5 (03:56):
Okay, just so you know, if a person tells you
that they do not want to be bothered, it's against
the law to keep calling that kissing them. Now, if
you call this number again, your company ready to be
paired for a lawsuit because it's against the law. And
I'm a business owner, so I know.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
This My question, do you understand?

Speaker 5 (04:11):
Would you like, hey, don't call the phone number again
or there will be problems?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Would you like to fin Hello? Oh yes, good afternoon.
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zone Plates always.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
With the seven eleven lady back on the phone.

Speaker 5 (04:25):
My friend has asked you more than one not to
call the phone number. It's against the law as a talma,
that is to harass somebody. If I have all your
information and I will go to the Better Business Bureau
and have your company fines and suit.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Would you like Zone Pilate's on BD.

Speaker 5 (04:41):
What stop calling this number and or we will take action?
Do you understand what that means?

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I can get what that means. It's the surest way
for you to get into shape.

Speaker 5 (04:52):
No, ma'am, do you understand? Oh my god, what's your name?

Speaker 2 (04:55):
My name is mister Michael Oppenheimer.

Speaker 5 (04:58):
And what's the company like for against el.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Just Duran because you've been phone tapped?

Speaker 5 (05:02):
This guy's phone TAPPEDO are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oho? Robert, you gonna kidd me?

Speaker 5 (05:12):
You better get like a free teacher or a gift
certivocate or someplace. Seriously, the Elvis Durant phone tap