Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Dump Cakes

The relentless salesmen Mr. Michael Oppenheimer tries to sell a recipe book called Dump Cakes!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis durand phone taben.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
An old friend is back, the most irritating phones solicitor
in the world. It's now time for scary and Michael
Oppenheimer a brand new one.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
What do you have today?

Speaker 3 (00:16):
That's right, Melissa wanted the phones tap her husband. He
runs this accounting business out of his house and gets
flooded with telemarketing calls all day, so she's like up,
he's trapped. Time for relentless telephone telemarketer mister Michael Oppenheimer
to sell him.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
A recipe book. I feel so sorry for these poor people.
Let's see sorry for this guy. Here we go, Good
as noon.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Avis ninety cent dot com.
How are you doing today, sir?

Speaker 4 (00:40):
Who is this?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
This is Michael Oppenheimer. Today. We have a wonderful product
called dump Cakes, Quick and Easy bake recipe book. Dump
Cakes shortens the prep time and.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
I don't have time. I'm sorry, I'm busy here. Okay,
I'm not interested, thank you. Hello.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer dump Cakes with and.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
He just called me. Okay, I'm not interested, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
There's no mistakes to make, just pouring the ingredients and bake.
It's that simple, sir.

Speaker 4 (01:09):
With God, my god, no, Hello, good Une.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
This is mister Michael Upenheim. Dump cakes. Just dump and.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
Bake, guy.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
From skilletsmores to sticky buns or cakes, you'll get five
star dessert recipes calling me.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
I'm trying to run my business.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Here introducing dump dinners.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
You want to eat a dump dinner? Here might dumpy
my dinner, buddy? Do you like that? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Uh huh, what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Oh? I just dump my dinner for you. Listen to
this crap you're trying to sell.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Me, sir, How many of these would you like to
order right now?

Speaker 4 (01:50):
I told you couple of me. That's all you're selling,
is y.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Let me read you a recipe from the dump cakes. God,
how about black forest dump?

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Oh my god, I got cakes. I'm gonna stick them
down your throat. Hello. Hello, it's okay. It's one of
the steps that is emitting. You have a problem. What
problem problem is? Nobody wants you're a part of Okay,
mister hoppey Heimer, how would you like to.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Be able to make rich brownies in the luxury of
your own kitchen.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Well, actually, mister hoopy hyper, I actually make my own
brownies and they're in my bath and want to make them. Okay,
when I.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Take it, desserts have never been easier. And now no
dirty bulls.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
No, it's okay, because when I'm walking outside, I do
get dirty. You want to see a pitcher.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
I said, dirty bulls?

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Oh you mean dirty tall with bes. Oh, here's one
right here. Yeah, you like that.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
I'm talking about it for you, mixing bulls for cake.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
Oh you want to miss my balls? Okay, mix my
balls too.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Okay, I'm looking for your h somebody in your house
that could be a baker. Trust me, no, trust me.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
Okay, you're talking to the right person, mister hype be
hid me. I do all the baking in here, big boy,
you were the apron. Actually, what I'm wearing right now
is a Victoria's Secret special here. Oh yes, and it
comes with a spatulus so I can make all the pudding.
I want want to come over and see some How about.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
We send you the starter kit with dump cakes and
dump dinners.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Plus you don't understand, hype Hypene, I don't need no
starter kits, Mama. I make my own dumps.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Well, if in that case you've been phone tapped by
your wife, Melissa, what this is?

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Scary? Jones? Elvis ran in the Morning show.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
Oh my god, you are so glad because, oh my god,
don't be my chills right now, because.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
In my heart you're an accountant.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
Yes, you bet you. Oh my god, I can imagine
how many call that loss doing this whole stupid phone
crap or cap well, whatever the hell it is.