Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Xmas Caulk

Mr. Michael Oppenheimer has no down season, so you bet he’s selling Patrick something for the holidays!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone tapp.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Elvis. My boyfriend Patrick despises telephone telemarketers. He has
a very short temper. I think a call from Michael
Oppenheimer is needed.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
All right.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
He lives nowhere near where you are broadcasting your show,
so he will have no clue who Michael Oppenheimer is.
This comes to us from Gisell. All right, Giselle, phone
tapping boyfriend Patrick with the relentless Michael Oppenheimer. You ready, Yeah,
let's here we go. Today's phone tap. Let's listen in.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hello. Oh yes, Knethter nooon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer
with Caulk Doctor pro Calkwright kit. How are you doing today? Sir?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Uh good, I'm sorry. Where are you from?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Calk doctor pro. Make your bath or sinks look great
with calk doctor proh.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
You know I'm not interested, Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Well, he's continued. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer for Cock Doctor.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Pro Cock doctor earlier. I'm not interested about sir.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
It's finally time to replace that discolored mildewy old cocking.
This doctor has the perfect prescription. For all your calking needs.
Kit is all you're going to need. My story.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm not interested in your cock.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
The cock around tubs anymore sinks. Well, this is mister
Michael Oppenheimer. Why Hello? Why are you calling me again?
You're in a list of people to be called to do?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Wait?

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Why are you calling me again? I'm calling you because
the cock Doctor Pro can be the perfect solution for
you in your home.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Are you're talking about? You're calling my cell phone.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
I am on the do not call list. Don't call
me quickly and easily remove the most stubborn cock without scratching.
Do you have a tub? Sir? Hello? Hello, sounds like
your cell phone dropped the call. This is mister Michael
Oppenheimer with Colk Doctor Company.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
You want to find who do you work for?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Why to tell you to do this?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I want to talk to your manager?

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Do your phone? Do you live in a home? Do
you live? Did you just know what I said? Put
your manager on the phone, sir, I don't have a manager.
I am a telemarketer. My name is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Call me, sir. Call Your tub might be in need
of serious repair.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
There might be old mills around you do you not
put your manager on the phone if you're.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Not gonna listen to I said, I'm not digested in cock.
I am waiting for a call. I cannot get this
call because you keep calling.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
You don't need to get a life, sir.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Do you have residue around your sink? Because here at
cock Doctor Pro we say resid if you use our product, doctor.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why do you keep talking?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Give me an answer to that question. Will say nothing yelling?
Because maybe cock Doctor Pro is the perfect solution for
your backsplash, doors, windows, and more. How does that sound?
That's an incredible Go into your bathroom and examine your cock.
I'm not even I'm not I'm not even listening to you.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Just keep talking.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Is your cock dirty, sir? Because if so, cock Doctor
Pro will be to the rescue. So, okay, are you done, sir?

Speaker 2 (03:26):
We've done?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
What else? Tell me? Are you done? Sir? We got
off on the wrong foot. Let's take this from the top.
My name is mister, my name is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
You can use our cock for the tightest spots. Are
you crazy? Ul Sir? Crazy? You could force cock deep
into cracks for a complete seal. Why why Why why

(03:47):
do I want to buy cock?

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Sir?

Speaker 1 (03:49):
The cock in your bathroom it might be cracked. Our
cock comes in black, almond and white.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Why do you.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Dumbest business I've ever heard?

Speaker 2 (03:59):
You're Sewan cock, sir.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
I know, but with this handy dandy kit you can
cock your kitchen right, No more missy fingers or closed.
It's easy to use. You're terrible at your job and noise.
Sure you can give the gift of cock for the holidays.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
You're not listening to a single thing that I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Just picture the joy on your girlfriend's face when she
wakes up on Christmas morning with cock in her stocking.
Why would I want to get cock to my girlfriend?
Maybe she's got grime and mildew on her tub and
you'd like to reseal it for her. Women love a
handyman around the house.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
You're not gonna get my girlfriend cock.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Maybe you should ask her why she phoned up to you. Hey, Patrick,
my name is Scary Jones from Elvis Duran in the
Morning Show, and your girlfriend Giselle is playing a joke
on you. My god, maybe I thought we got good
Oh my god, Oh my god, you are It's a

(05:01):
radio prank, little Raino.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
You got phone tap? Oh my god. Yeah, I guess
what you're getting for Christmas?

Speaker 1 (05:10):
What they're gonna get a lot of almond cog The
Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre recorded
with permission granted by all participants. The Elvis Duran phone
tap only on Elvis Duran in the Morning Show