Dear Hank & John

Dear Hank & John

Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the fourth-tier English football club).

Episodes

March 4, 2026 37 mins

Why do I have the desire to rebel against my parents? Why does pen on paper fade over time? Do we make new water? What is the scent of soaps and why do I want to eat it? How should I reveal that I can do the splits? Has there been any updates regarding Stars on Mars? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com

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Do you ever wonder if a listener question comes from a celebrity? Why are most metals gray?  Why does holding a baby silence the worry? How do you decide what to do after school? Can moles convert CO2 to Oxygen? How do you deal with grief? How do potatoes know which way is up? …Hank and John Green have answers!


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February 18, 2026 48 mins

How has your relationship with your audience changed? What’s a good lie to tell my coworkers about my butt surgery? Has anyone ever tasted the moon? What’s the highest altitude we have ever recorded a cloud? How long do I have to sit in the bath to touch every molecule of water? What is the value of a single shoe? How do I handle the information that we might live in a black hole? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If y...

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February 11, 2026 47 mins

Can you paint in space? What does “48 business hours” mean? Why is everyone asking me about aliens? How do you deal with the ever-present weight of nostalgia? What happens if you throw a ball while skydiving? Why do humans like stickers? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com

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January 28, 2026 50 mins

What is a patron saint? Do we all get eaten? How do flames decide where to go? How do trees stay standing?  What happened to Hank’s hair? How do doctors decide where the needles go? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com

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January 21, 2026 56 mins

What happened to John in 2014? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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January 14, 2026 36 mins

What would you want your clickbait title to be? What is a face? Why is an MRI so loud? Could Rome actually be built in a day? What is going on with the design of traffic lights? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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January 7, 2026 37 mins

Can one physically de-escalate? Are my hands actually colder than other parts of my body? Why can I see my veins so well? What would the internet look like if it was a 3D space? How do I know if I’m doing enough for my students? What would it feel like to be hit by a gravitational wave? How do we know the distance between the Earth and the Sun? Do squirrels get bored? …Hank and John Green have answers!


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December 17, 2025 41 mins

Do we sweat the same way vegetables do? What should I do if a billionaire sits down at my dinner table? How do I feel sane in today’s world? Can you please tell my twelve year old son to go to sleep? How did we decide the geological time scales? When were chairs invented? How does John manage his fear of TB contamination? What is Salinger-ing? …Hank and John Green have answers!


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December 3, 2025 41 mins

Why don’t John and Hank live in the same state? Where does the chapstick go after I apply it? When my phone runs out of battery, why can't I plug it in and immediately use it? If aliens landed on Earth long after the sun has died, would there still be signs of former human life? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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November 19, 2025 36 mins

Why are there so few left-handed people? Can people do things on instinct alone? Why haven’t babies evolved to sleep through the night? We’ve heard of ice breakers, but what are some ice makers? How do I decide if I should have kids? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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November 12, 2025 38 mins

Who is responsible for the ridiculous pet names from John and Hank’s childhood? Any tips on how to cope with pre-wedding stress? Can you explain snot? What is turtle etiquette? What organs do you actually need? What would happen if the oceans were 50% less salty? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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November 5, 2025 40 mins

How can I eat blocks of moldy cheese and it be delicious, but if I eat a moldy sandwich I die? Are there any experiences from the past 12 years that have shaped your current self? How do I make doing dishes less horrible? Is “up to 100% leak proof” some sort of marketing legal lingo? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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October 29, 2025 49 mins

Would it be harder to swim in lava or water? Why do I have one long white hair that grows from my face cheek? What would the stars look like if I were moving faster than light, like the Enterprise in Star Trek? What role do John and Hank play with Partners In Health? How does gravity impact digestion? What is the longest length of time a yawn has been spread? Why is everything so hard? Can you quell my fears about AI? …Han...

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October 22, 2025 35 mins

Why don’t ants drown when it rains? Why is my car covered in bees? How do I balance a profession I love with wanting to have a life outside of work? Why is it easy to put my feet in water, but it’s uncomfortable to get my shoulders in water? How do I help my child navigate questions and fears about religion? Is the “membership rate” in A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor based on a valid economic theory or is it just a plot dev...

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October 15, 2025 44 mins

If humanity is around long enough, could another species evolve to look like us to deter predators? What did people do when they woke up before the existence of phones? What’s your favorite replacement for a swear word? How do purple baby carrots exist? How do I cope with the end of childhood? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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October 8, 2025 38 mins

Do dogs have a preferred direction to chase their tail in? Why do we put the dollar sign before the number? Why don’t we have a word for “dying of thirst”? How do I approach public notoriety? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.


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If John and Hank had to name something after each other, what would it be?  Could a balloon make it to space? Are athletes offended by how we talk about them? Does a Bloody Mary actually help a hangover? Why do dogs smell like that when they’re wet? Do John and Hank watch each other's videos? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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September 24, 2025 39 mins

When did Hank decide to start going by “Hank”? Why do we have to die? Should I point out to my friend that they missed my birthday? What is your airport advice? Who is driving Saturn? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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September 17, 2025 41 mins

If you were standing on Mercury or Venus, would the sun look bigger? How long is a "while"? What are career fields that AI won’t be able to replace? How do we not run out of crystals and gemstones?  How do I clear the smoke out of my house? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.


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