Dear Hank & John

Dear Hank & John

Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the fourth-tier English football club).

Episodes

December 3, 2025 41 mins

Why don’t John and Hank live in the same state? Where does the chapstick go after I apply it? When my phone runs out of battery, why can't I plug it in and immediately use it? If aliens landed on Earth long after the sun has died, would there still be signs of former human life? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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Why are there so few left-handed people? Can people do things on instinct alone? Why haven’t babies evolved to sleep through the night? We’ve heard of ice breakers, but what are some ice makers? How do I decide if I should have kids? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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November 12, 2025 38 mins

Who is responsible for the ridiculous pet names from John and Hank’s childhood? Any tips on how to cope with pre-wedding stress? Can you explain snot? What is turtle etiquette? What organs do you actually need? What would happen if the oceans were 50% less salty? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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November 5, 2025 40 mins

How can I eat blocks of moldy cheese and it be delicious, but if I eat a moldy sandwich I die? Are there any experiences from the past 12 years that have shaped your current self? How do I make doing dishes less horrible? Is “up to 100% leak proof” some sort of marketing legal lingo? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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October 29, 2025 49 mins

Would it be harder to swim in lava or water? Why do I have one long white hair that grows from my face cheek? What would the stars look like if I were moving faster than light, like the Enterprise in Star Trek? What role do John and Hank play with Partners In Health? How does gravity impact digestion? What is the longest length of time a yawn has been spread? Why is everything so hard? Can you quell my fears about AI? …Han...

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October 22, 2025 35 mins

Why don’t ants drown when it rains? Why is my car covered in bees? How do I balance a profession I love with wanting to have a life outside of work? Why is it easy to put my feet in water, but it’s uncomfortable to get my shoulders in water? How do I help my child navigate questions and fears about religion? Is the “membership rate” in A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor based on a valid economic theory or is it just a plot dev...

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October 15, 2025 44 mins

If humanity is around long enough, could another species evolve to look like us to deter predators? What did people do when they woke up before the existence of phones? What’s your favorite replacement for a swear word? How do purple baby carrots exist? How do I cope with the end of childhood? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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October 8, 2025 38 mins

Do dogs have a preferred direction to chase their tail in? Why do we put the dollar sign before the number? Why don’t we have a word for “dying of thirst”? How do I approach public notoriety? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.


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If John and Hank had to name something after each other, what would it be?  Could a balloon make it to space? Are athletes offended by how we talk about them? Does a Bloody Mary actually help a hangover? Why do dogs smell like that when they’re wet? Do John and Hank watch each other's videos? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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September 24, 2025 39 mins

When did Hank decide to start going by “Hank”? Why do we have to die? Should I point out to my friend that they missed my birthday? What is your airport advice? Who is driving Saturn? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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September 17, 2025 41 mins

If you were standing on Mercury or Venus, would the sun look bigger? How long is a "while"? What are career fields that AI won’t be able to replace? How do we not run out of crystals and gemstones?  How do I clear the smoke out of my house? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.


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September 10, 2025 43 mins

What is a nerdfighter? How do scabs work? How do I make my house feel like my home? Did John soft launch Keats & Co.? How much does the surface of the moon change over time? Do snakes take more time to digest their food if they’re bigger? How long is an era? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


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Do you think the current pope has eaten more hot dogs than the previous popes combined? Does the atmosphere distort our view of the stars? How do I ask people to talk to me about my book? What does the space represent in the molecule diagrams? How do I manage to be reminded of my old work without wanting to burn it all down? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@...

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August 27, 2025 49 mins

Is it easier to push or pull? What is the difference between bandicoots and bilbies? Any advice on coping with a changing mental worldview? Who are your favorite family-friendly stand-up comedians? Will dinosaurs evolve again? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.


Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.



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August 20, 2025 41 mins

Does John want to be a corn or pea plant? If we were able to put enough plants on Mars, could they produce enough oxygen for us to be able to breathe? Is there a scientific definition of what constitutes a weed? How do purple leaves work? Should I tell my friend she’s been watering a fake plant for seven months? …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

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August 13, 2025 44 mins

Can you help my public image as a superhero? How does the International Space Station have different countries all in one station? How does sunscreen work? If I eat at a restaurant by myself, how do I go to the bathroom without the waiter thinking I left? Where have all the NFTs gone? Am I more likely to be struck by lightning because I’m sitting in a metal wheelchair? …Hank and John Green have answers!


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August 6, 2025 44 mins

What ages should I look out for? How common are tongues? Should I send a wedding invite to a celebrity? How do I avoid getting discouraged and giving up on my dreams? How do we know there aren’t more elements? How do I connect with my classmates when we are in different stages of life?  …Hank and John Green have answers!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

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How do I prove I didn’t use AI in my masters thesis? Why is it so hard to do the things I really want to do? Is there something different about men’s colons? How did people go about collecting relics? Why are short stories not more popular than novels? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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July 23, 2025 42 mins

Why do fish jump out of the water? What do I talk about in therapy? If the whole world quarantined itself for six weeks, would all viruses die out? If I want to donate to the TB cause, what is the best organization to do that with? Does a place without wind exist? Why does diet Dr. Pepper taste so differently when it is cold versus when it is room temperature? What do I do when it is my circus, but not my monkeys? …Hank an...

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July 9, 2025 45 mins

How did John bike to the airport? How do we know that Earth isn’t being bombarded by space frogs? How can we channel more Uncle Mike in our everyday lives? Do fish have bums? What has the Beef Days experience been like? Does the Earth receive a uniform amount of energy from the sun?  …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

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