Modern Love

Joe Swanberg married the first person he ever seriously dated. When that marriage ended, his romantic life got complicated. Messy, even. He started dating younger women, ended up in an elaborate love triangle, and completely changed his mind about whether he wanted to marry and have children again. He openly describes it as a cliché midlife crisis.

Swanberg is no stranger to messy relationships. Throughout his career making televisi...

Carla Lalli is well known as a chef and a cookbook author. But after many years in food media, working at places like Bon Appétit, she started to lose her personal connection to cooking. It wasn’t until her 24-year-long marriage ended and she had to start cooking for herself as a newly single person, that she re-engaged with why she loved to cook and what made her feel good. She details many of these discoveries and recipes i...

Blake Martin was in his car waiting to pick up pizza when a notification from his doctor hit his phone. As he read it, his stomach dropped and his mind started racing. It was the second life-changing piece of news he’d received within 24 hours, and it threw his entire idea of the future into question. Now, he had to pick up his pizza, head home and tell his wife.

This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Martin expl...

Jess Zakira Wise knew she wanted to experiment with group sex, but as she got into the scene she struggled to find a sex party where she felt comfortable. She kept finding spaces that were male-dominated and heteronormative, things she was trying to escape from. So, Jess started to organize her own parties.

This week on “Modern Love,” Wise explains what makes a great sex party, and why it’s often more about commun...

The tech writer and podcaster Bridget Todd was sure she’d never get attached to A.I. chatbots. She was suspicious of the companies behind them, and when she saw articles popping up about people who said they loved their bots, she said she found their situations sad and potentially dangerous. Besides, Bridget didn’t have an empty hole in her life to fill. She had a supportive human partner. She had friends and a tight kn...

Jenny Singer thought she had a lung fungus. That would explain the shortness of breath that she was experiencing. The doctor’s other explanation was anxiety, which seemed completely out of the question to her. But as time went on, Jenny found herself increasingly focused on her “breathing problem,” as she called it, in a way that made it nearly impossible to connect with anyone.

Eventually, Singer realized she did...

Sam Graham-Felsen never imagined being lonely. Throughout his childhood and as a young man his life revolved around his friends. But when Sam got married and then had kids, going out with his friends almost felt like a luxury. After years of focusing on everything in his life except friendship, Sam began to realize he was missing something essential, and he decided to get his friends back.

On this episode of “Modern Love,&rdq...

Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a polyamory expert. When she first heard about polyamorous relationships, back in the early ’90s, hardly anyone was talking about this stuff. But Sheff became fascinated, and for the past 30 years, she’s been studying the lives of kids who grew up in polyamorous families. 

On this episode of “Modern Love,” Sheff tells the host Anna Martin about her personal and profe...

At the age of 15, the filmmaker and actor Kyla Harris had an accident that forever changed what her body could do, and what it couldn’t. From then on, she needed someone with her 24 hours a day to help her with things like going to the bathroom, cooking and showering. 

Family members, friends, romantic partners and personal assistants have all played a role in Kyla’s care over the years. She’s had to learn to...

This week on "Modern Love," we're bringing you one of our favorite conversations from our friends at "The Interview." Speaking to host Lulu Garcia-Navarro, the comedian and actor Robby Hoffman says class and the way she grew up inform everything about the way she lives now.

• Thoughts? Email us at theinterview@nytimes.com

• Watch our show on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheInterviewPodcast

• For transcripts and more, visit: nytimes.c...

In 2019, Susie Shaw’s 9-year-old son, William, died in a skiing accident. We talk about grief a lot on this show, but a parent grieving the death of a child is a loss so profound, words don’t feel adequate. It’s hard to know what to say to someone facing this kind of tragedy.

Susie Shaw says: Ask me a question. Ask me about my dead son.

On this episode of “Modern Love” Susie tells its host, Anna Martin...

When the chef, writer and filmmaker Eddie Huang joined the “Modern Love” podcast to discuss his new novel, “Come Undone,” our host Anna Martin asked him to start by reading a few lines from his 2017 guest essay for The New York Times. In it, Huang called out stereotypical portrayals of Asian men that have persisted in pop culture: “Every Asian American man knows what the dominant culture has to say abo...

Elizabeth and Jeff were best friends. They did everything together, from early-morning runs to late-night karaoke sessions. They came up with secret code names for each other and went on undercover missions in their neighborhood. They fought, and made up, and fought some more.

Beneath their playful dynamic, an attraction was growing between them, but Elizabeth never wanted to risk the friendship by exploring it. Then Jeff got sick,...

Growing up, Julian Brave NoiseCat’s father, Ed Archie NoiseCat, wasn’t around much. Other than the occasional ride to hockey practice from his dad, Julian mostly remembers the legends about him. Ed is an artist, famous for his wood carvings and larger-than-life stories. Julian remembers seeing him on the cover of Native Peoples magazine and hearing about his escapades driving across the country. What Julian could never ...

Laverne Cox never fit in as a child in Mobile, Ala. But she really didn’t want to. From an early age, she knew she was going to be a star, and she was right. Decades later, Cox would break through as Sophia Burset on Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black,” and become the first openly transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy Award in an acting category. 

In this episode of “Modern Love,” C...

Joseph Osmundson spent years joking about having a baby with his best friend. But one day, she told Joe she was serious about it. Joe was elated. Growing up, he had always wanted to be a father, but he didn’t realize how deep that yearning was until the moment their joke became a concrete plan.

At the time, Joe had a boyfriend he loved and his best friend was partnered with a woman. It took time, effort, and countless meeting...

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton’s lives are completely intertwined. They’ve been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possible. The two see the same therapist, are nearly constantly touching each other and find it hard to function when one of them is away, a dynamic they describe as codependent.

Their codependency is the inspiration for their new...

Lauren Bans was seven months pregnant when she realized she needed a divorce. Suddenly, she found herself heartbroken, terrified, and completely unable to make decisions or think about the future.

One day, her sister suggested they visit an escape room. As the door locked and the countdown began, Bans found herself enraptured by the puzzles, forgetting her reality for a moment and feeling like herself again. She was hooked and went...

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they recognize him from his semiautobiographical sitcom, "Ramy," or his latest special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love." In fact, Youssef’s dog, Basha, is a big part of the special and has become a major part of his life, even if he does some...