Hour 2 | Tom Brady’s Roast was 3-hours long @ConwayShow

Tom Brady’s Roast was 3-hours long & filled with heavy shots at his character. 
Event-galore over the weekend with various things to do around town/ UCLA arrested 41 people for attempting a burglary on campus. / Californians that left the state might still have to pay CA taxes/ Dash Bus Driver Attacked by Homeless Woman but defends herself. 
Boeing Starliner Launch Tests NASA’s Astronauts After Years of Delays and was postponed/Tim is a Boeing-Boy! 
A Proposed California law could force some stores to do away with self-checkout/ Behind the scenes at the Kentucky Derby/ Mystik Dan's jockey Brian Hernandez Jr. Reacts to Winning the 150th Kentucky Derby 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
It's KFI Am six and you're listeningto the Conway Show on demand on the
iHeartRadio app. We have the metGala is the target of the protests.
So if when that happens it andit's sort of starting now, we'll have
that for you. We'll have reportsand tell you what's going on with the

(00:21):
met Gala where billionaires get together toshow you they're better than you are.
All right, well, very good, that's what that's what's going on.
Tom Brady was roasted last night atthe Kia Form and I watched it late
last night. I didn't watch itlive. I watched it late last night.

(00:42):
It was pretty good. There wasa lot of great, funny,
hard jokes in that in that roast. It was I was hoping it would
be a little longer. It wasonly three hours. I was hoping for
maybe, I don't know, nineten hours, but there should have been.
There was a a lot of peoplethat got up and spoke that shouldn't

(01:02):
have And that's why usually they keepthis thing to an hour, because you
get really good people up there whoare good at at roasting others, and
then that's a wrap. But youget people up there who are like football
players or friends of Tom Brady.And it really went on and on and
on. It was longer than agame. It was. My ad was

(01:25):
exactly like. It was longer thana game. And they took pretty decent
shots at him, but man,they took shots at his ex wife.
They took shots at his ex girlfriend. Almost everybody up there, almost every
single person who spoke inferred that TomBrady was gay. Almost everybody, almost

(01:48):
everybody, and which is odd intwenty twenty four, you know, to
get up there, and they usethe F word too to describe his wo
is you know, possible homosexual homosexualtrends. I don't know, our tendencies.
I don't know, but it wasweird. The two things that that

(02:12):
that stood out well, well,first of all, it's very funny,
very edgy, and if and ifyou're easily offended, it's not for you,
pass hard, pass and you know, go watch something else and I
shall be partaking. But three hoursis long, you know, I mean,
you can't laugh for three hours.And they had the really good comedians

(02:35):
Slash Roasters. They went early,which was a mistake. Should they should
have batted clean up, But theywent, uh, they went pretty early,
but Coach Belichick showed up what's hisname Kraft? Who's the owner of
the is it Bill Kraft, BobKraft, Robert Craft, Robert Kraft Craft,
Robert Kraft. He was there andand one of the one of the

(03:00):
roasters took a shot at him andtalked about where there's a reference to a
massage. Jeff Ross. Yeah,Jeffrey Ross, Right, Jeffrey Ross.
Jeff Ross was great and he's terrific, and and Tom Brady came up to
him in the middle of Jeff Ross'suh, you know, act, and
said, hey, stop going afterRobert Kraft in the massage. Don't do

(03:23):
that crap anymore. And that lookedlike that may have been set up.
I don't know who knows. ButKevin Hart hosted it and he was great,
and he was drinking, so itgot it was longer and longer,
and and he had a lot ofgreat jokes that looked like he just made
up on the spot. So thatwas great, and it was it was

(03:45):
nice. Edelman was there, whoused to play for the Randy Moss was
pretty good. Gronk was there,and so they were that line that Nicki
Glazer had to Tom She's like,I cannot believe you lost thirty million dollars
in the crypto. She goes,even Gronk knew me think that bad?

(04:08):
It was like such a great line. Yeah, she really did smoke him
pretty good. And and it wasdid you watch it? Belliil not the
whole thing, but a lot ofit. Yeah, it was great,
it was. It was so good. I got about two hours into it.
I was passing out. I wasfalling asleep. It was long,
yeah, but they should have itshould have been an hour, two hours
max. But three hours got almighty. I heard what was a Peyton Manning

(04:31):
came out. He was like oneof the last guy before Brady came up,
and he had a bunch for him. I didn't get to see that.
I didn't get to see who wasit that? Oh it was I
can't remember who was so horrible asnames Ben Affleck. I didn't see him,
but I guess he bombed. That'sthe word on the street. No

(04:51):
it was or did. He wenton a rant about people trolls on social
media that hide behind their you know, computers and say things without being you
know, saying who they are,like all of us, So he went
he went on a little rant.Yeah, And I was slipping between that

(05:12):
and the LA Department Transportation bus driverthat was fighting that other chick, and
I couldn't figure out which to watch. But that was a good fight.
That homeless woman fighting the bus driver. That was decent bus driver. Man.
She had a nice little kick onher. Yeah, And that that
homeless I mean, look, she'shomeless, but she still evidently is eating,

(05:33):
right, you know, she's onthe bigger side and still had the
energy to fight. So I don'tknow where she'd getting her energy. She
has more energy than I do.That that homeless chick that was fighting the
bus driver. Man, that youknow what, that's a mistake if that's
not the opener for the Mike Tysonfight. The bus driver and the homeless

(05:55):
chick, that was a pretty tightfight. That was pretty close. You
know, I don't I don't thinkit was. I don't think it was
a winner in that fight. Butman, if I don't know who's putting
that fight on the Mike Tyson fight, but whoever's putting that on that that's
your undercard right there, the homelesschick and the bus driver. That sort

(06:15):
of says everything about society right now. You know, the homeless people are
pissed. Bus drivers are pissed,and now they're fighting each other. You
know, usually they just yell ateach other. Now they're just now they're
beating the hell out of each other. You can see it online. It's
everywhere. The bus driver and man, they got a difficult job, really
difficult job. You know, wedrive by homeless people that are yelling in

(06:38):
the streets and you just sort of, you know, lock your doors.
These people have to have them ontheir coach. They come on their bus
every day, every day. Idon't know how they do it. They
got a lot more patience than Ido, a lot more patience than I
do. You're listening to Tim ConwayJunior on demand from KFI AM sixty.
Yeah. The La County Fair,the I'm Beach Life Festival, Kentucky Derby,

(07:06):
There, Grand Prix, see Marathon. Yes, Wow, wow,
wow, man oh man. Alot to get out there and do.
Renaissance Fair. You pronounce to theRenaissance Fair. You really enjoy that?
I do. It's fun, howabout you? No, that's not my

(07:26):
vibe. Why is that? Idon't know, hanging out with people that
are dressed up with fake accents anddrinking all day and I can get that
at the track. I don't.I don't know. I just never hooked
into that, but I never knewwhat it was. I don't even know
what it is. I mean,I don't know anything about it. So
maybe I shouldn't bag on it withthe All right, let's say the protests

(07:50):
continue. U c l A hasanother one. This time they're in the
parking lot protesting again and cops saidto show up again. Pig go off
with these cops and these protests.Forty three people were arrested for conspiracy to
commit burglary earlier this morning as well. People did a sit in inside of
Moore Hall. We're hearing about fiftypeople were involved in that. A brewin

(08:13):
alert was sent al this morning sayingthat all classes are now remote today.
Oh they were going to start inperson classes today, now remote, SAHOI,
it's all remote again. UCLA's chancellor, Gene Block, also announced a
newly created Office of Campus Safety thathe says will help enforce policing and emergency
management after last week's protests and proPalestinian protesters are asking for the school to

(08:37):
divest funds from Israel and call fora ceasefire. Now, we did speak
to students and faculty this morning aspeople were being arrested in the parking garage.
All right, here we go goingon with these rests. You know,
this is completely inappropriate and totally againstlike any kind of student safety or
any kind of like any kind ofpositive impact. I mean, this is

(09:00):
really just a violation of students.We demand that they released them from detention
or arrest or whatever they want tocall it. They are not able to
leave, and we are not ableas faculty and as the criminal defense attorney
they're legal representative to speak with themright now. And I think that that's
outrageous. Please told me that theforty three people who are who were arrested
will be cited out and released.There you go. All right. A

(09:22):
lot of people may see these protestsand that might be the last draw and
you may want to leave California.You may want to move to another state.
I get it, I get it, I get it. Bute,
it may cost you some money.Yeah, on your way out, the
great state of California might just bangon you one more time. All right,
People who left California to work remotelyfrom a cheaper state may still have

(09:46):
to pay California taxes. During thepandemic, many people moved away for states
with no income tax, like Texas, Florida, and Washington, But many
of those workers are now discovering someor all of their in could still be
taxable in California. Oh here wego. So you thought you got off
light. Nope, can't get awayfrom California. It's like a it's like

(10:09):
a prison. Can't escape, can'tescape it. Tax experts are now warning
people who have moved but still maintainedstrong ties to the state. They say
the Franchise Taskboard could rule that theystill are official California residents and tax the
money they make while working in otherstates. Ah. Bad vibes, bad
vibes. All right, let's talkmore about this bus driver. I watched

(10:31):
over the weekend the fight between thehomeless woman and the bus driver, and
I couldn't declare a winner. Ithought they both got in some good shots.
Felt bad for the bus drivers justto deal with, you know,
these people all day long. Butman, there was two women going at
it. It was videotape like everythingelse in this world is. And that

(10:54):
was a really decent fight. Itwas one of the best fights. It
was. It was a draw.This was a female dash bus driver who
was attacked by another woman presumably tryingto ride the bus at the time.
And just to give you a frameof reference, so we're on South Central
Avenue and Jefferson Boulevard right outside ofthe Newton Division Police station. But apparently

(11:16):
that alleged attacker didn't really seem tocare where exactly this attack took place.
Oh that's great, that was thebus driver, yell and then get the
f off the bus. Wow,what a fight. You're listening to Tim

(11:37):
Conway Junior on demand from KFI AMsixty. Hey, the NASA's star Liner
is set to launch two hours andfour minutes from now, and then there
was just a major update and theydidn't say what it was. Let's listen
in at NASA and see what theupdate was here with Starliner. This flight

(11:58):
crew launch test tarline A crew,is there anything else can you help with
before we leave and close? Thehatch looks like three astronauts in there waiting

(12:20):
to hear if Butcher and Sonny sayanything, or two over the loops an
to step in on my crew,but my friends. I'm gonna say,
flights, see you up there,have it, safe flight, see up
there. I love that. Allright, They're gonna sounds like strapping.
Everything went well. Close the hatch. They're pumping air conditioning and drags gets

(12:43):
see a smile on Sonny's face.I see normal uh tether there in the
middle. And again I love that. Com check again to say they're friends.
Do you've been saying this throughout thebroadcast? Really, but they've Butcher
and Sonny have been working so closelywith everyone who is needed to make this
mission possible that they kind of alljust feel like family. Absolutely. You

(13:09):
know, we've been working with themfor years. They've been a part of
NASA's star Line star Line, andof course now they're both on this flight.
We're going to do this mission inso, you know, looking forward
to seeing them lift off and beginthis mission. They're going to close the

(13:30):
hat to space. But they reallydo represent, you know, that huge
family of NASA and Boeing and everybodythat's worked so hard to this point.
Go ahead, ath okay, evaluatingthe SRV, we're most likely getting above
the call uh cycles of this valve. We still have plus hours to go

(13:52):
so that's a problem. Most likelyexceeded the fall value. We do not
have a path to proceed further atthis point. That's over, Roger.
So at this point your recommendation isto secure operations for today. That's around
not gonna not gonna happen to nameRoger l d LC on Channel one.

(14:15):
Just sir, held concurs with itfor Roger. Oh, you have to
concur. What are you gonna sayno to the guys putting the the the
gas, the rocket fuel. Howabout that? Do you concur? No?
No, no, no, no, no, I don't concur.
Keep putting that jet fuel in andthat rocket fuel in and and we'll we'll
see how this thing goes. Justone time fight and slick Channel one.

(14:41):
And so they have to check inwith all the departments and see if they
all concur. Yeah, Roger,So the engineering team has evaluated the vehicle
is not in a configuration where wecan proceed with light today. It's over.
So we're going to initiate our beenrecycle operations. That's a wrap Rutger,

(15:05):
bake copy Rodger. You can hearthe depression in their voice. You
know they've been waiting for years andyears and years for this. And if
you're just joining us, I'll lookat the person. Now, this is
LC on channel one. Let's turnto page scribe crew egress operations. All

(15:26):
right, Then there's a long processnow, I guess to get these guys
out of there, to get thejet fuel out of there, the rocket
fuel out of there, and startover again some other day. But for
everybody that was excited to see theuh, the Boeing, I think Boeing
made it right, and Boeing madethe star liner. Yes, not a

(15:48):
good year for bowing. Not agood year. Here's the oh bo what's
going on there? But but thenagain, uh, you know, I'm
watching this thing. I don't knowwhat the problem is. But don't misconstrue
me as a whistleblower. I'm not. I ain't a whistleblowerht that target on
my back. I wish this thingwent off without a sight. To me,

(16:15):
I am not a Boeing whistle blower, not at all. I'm a
big fan of Boeing, huge fan, love Boeing. Even if the doors
blow off, I don't care,man, I'm still a big Boeing fan,
big big Boeing boy. That's exactlyright. All right. So Boeing
star Liner, the crew, thetest launch, it's been scrapped, and

(16:37):
so they're going to try another day, another time, another day. But
that's suppressing, you know, towatch this thing load up with fuel.
Watch the astronauts get ready, youknow, get up for getting in this
thing. The crew that puts themin and secures them. How many people
there at launch? You know,got a good night's sleep and slept in

(16:59):
today so they could stay up lateand watch this thing. And now they
got to start all over. Oneof those two astronauts are supposed to be
going up there. I said,well, you know, it's a it's
a better problem to have by beingdown here, need to be up there,
then being up there need to bedown here. Yeah, that's true,
that's absolutely true. We put thevolume up here again. See what's
going on here with U We expectthat to happen. Is this a long
process or for the most part,this is pretty easy once we know it

(17:23):
is safe for them to start gettingout Once once the rocket, you know
the rocket's been a good configure,they give the go. It's relatively relatively
quick to make sure that go ahead. RLM line items disabled for redline report
for Roger. Penny two LC goahead, secure CEC and activate safety perch

(17:45):
for Roger. These guys with theirterms all right, Yes, secure r
f f TS and GPS metric trackingRoger. That's the calm there from Ula.
They are following their specific you know, procedure, and it's really just
true professionals executing, executing the scrubbOh, it's a scrubg all right,

(18:10):
So it's not gonna happen. It'snot gonna happen. It's uh, well,
they'll shoot for another day. Butthat's not you know, depressing his
helm. Uh you know, wheneverybody's all ready to go and then they
got to to scrub it. Iimagine they they you know, can narrow
it down to one guy who screwedup. That's probably what's going to happen.
You know, they point down toone guy who either didn't do his

(18:32):
job or something, you know,something came up, it was beyond his
control. And we'll probably never findout who that person is. But somebody
screwed up, somebody messed up.That's usually how that happens. All right.
Fritz Coleman is coming on with us. You may remember Fritz from Channel
four. He was on for Idon't know thirty years or so, giving
us the weather every single day onChannel four. And he's got a huge

(18:56):
the Debbie Reynolds main stage El PortalTheater thing going on. We're talking about
that at six o'clock. Fritz Colevintonight right here on KFI AM six forty.
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior ondemand from KFI AM six forty.
The Boeing star Liner that was supposedto go, I believe to the space
station and that's a wrap that's notgonna hapen till later date, so didn't

(19:22):
work out. And then Fritz Colvin'scoming on at six o'clock. That guy's
always great, so I haven't seenhim in a while. It'd be great
to see Fritz Coleman. He's gota big thing going on at the El
Portal Theater on Lancasham Wie Reynolds's mainstage, so we'll ask him about that
show. See what's going on withhim? All right, dig dong with
this guy self checkout, a lotof people enjoy it, a lot of

(19:47):
people hate it. There's mixed opinions. I don't really carry the way,
but there's a proposed California law,they could force some stores to do away
with self checkout. Why is that? I don't know. Let's find out
the familiar sights and sounds of selfcheckout. I like SEF checkout because it's

(20:07):
convenient, it's fast. Whether afan or not, changes could be coming
down the line. The hope isthat we can reduce the amount of theft
that happens. That's a much bettersolution than punishing theft after it occurs.
The Prosecutor's Alliance of California getting behindSenate Bill fourteen forty six. The bill
would regulate self checkouts in hopes ofboosting employment and cutting down on thefts.

(20:30):
There's data on this that shows thereis theft that happens at self checkouts.
If voted into Yeah, that's right. That's why you go through self checkout,
you know, to scan three outof every four items and you know,
walk out of there with some somefreebies. Theft that happens at self
checkouts if voted into law. Groceryand pharmacy, I call them buybacks.

(20:51):
You know, been a customer ofWalmart forever, Every once in a while
you get a buyback. Grocery inpharmacy retailers would have to meet certain requirements
or get rid of self checkouts,including upping the number of employees monitoring the
stations. Yeah, that's a problem. Whenever you do with a self checkout
the machine goes on the fritz,or you scanned an item twice and you

(21:11):
want it removed, then you gotto find somebody and good luck. Have
the light on the top blinks.Yeah, that's like a light on top
of a slot machine veg. Butnot everybody ignores it. Everybody. One
of the main deturrens from theft isthat there are staff paying attention in the
store to your activities. Okay,all right, I get that, but

(21:33):
let's listen to this again. Oneof the main deturrens from theft is that
there is staff paying attention in thestore to your activities. Okay, that's
what does she say? One ofthe main one of the main deterrens.
Okay, one of the main deterrensof theft is having somebody sit there and
watch you. You know what's anothermain deterrent in theft being brought up properly.

(21:55):
Yeah, they don't mention that beingbrought up properly. That's another big
ad determined. When it comes totheft. One of the main deterrens from
theft or deterrence big ass deterrened.How you were raised. One of the
main deterrens from theft is that thereare staff paying attention in the store to
your activities. In part, it'scodifying you know some requirements that that I

(22:18):
think, from our perspective, ora little heavy handed as far as you
know, getting down into the granularityof how business or a store and used
to operate. I have no ideawhat this woman just said. I'm gonna
listen to it again. Maybe youguys can figure this out. In part,
it's codifying you know some requirements thatthat I think, from our perspective
or a little heavy handed as faras you know, getting down into the

(22:41):
granularity of how business or a storedused to operate. What is you know,
getting down into the granularity of howbusiness or a stored used to operate.
God, they canna need another Noidea, folks, no idea what
this woman just said how business ora store and used to operate. The
California Chamber of Commerce coming out againstthe proposed legislation, saying it could hurt

(23:03):
business, for example, the groceryspace where they are operating on pretty thin
margins. You know, when you'rehaving to make these drastic adjustments or just
staff and ratios, that can bea big cost impact. Yeah, all
right, Well what's the bottom line? More of these self checkout or less
the bottom line? There we go, what's the bottom line? The bottom
line a concern among shoppers too.Aren't we as a consumer going to have

(23:26):
to pay for that to take itdown and redo it or whatever is decided.
I understand the concern for theft.I'd be concerned though that if grocery
stores were required to staff more checkoutaisles that that would be a huge cost
increase for them and they'd pass thatcost on to customers. Yeah. We
always pay for it anyway, Sowhatever they do, whether people are stealing,

(23:48):
we'll pay for that. Or wherethey have to hire more people to
man the checkout counters, will payfor that as well. All right.
The Kentucky Derby was this past Saturday. Maybe you bet on it, Maybe
want to come bucks. I didnot, But let's find out more of
what happened behind the scenes at theKentucky Derby. The biggest race in horse
racing all year long. They're offin the Kentucky Derby. Yeah, Fierstus

(24:15):
had an okay start. He kickaway in the middle of the pack.
Trent Fenton will go to the earlylead, and now John Velasquez gets fierceness
into the mix. Strongholders there,Epic Ride goes up on the far outside.
Just Steel is close up to asthey reached pass the first time.
All right, let's cut to thestretch run. Here we go, stretch
run. Paul and Bistic Dan thoughcome throwding inside. It is Pistic down

(24:37):
down toward the outside. Put thelead in the final sixteenth y Cierra Lei
old is coming pase three coming outa liar? Who's it going to be
the Derby? Baas a photo?Was it Pistic Dag yes? Or was
it Cerle It was not? Sarralna'sMystic Dan won by a nostro for every
algos between them. Actually finish fortha photo finish cutish side. The one

(25:03):
hundred fiftieth Kentucky Derby. What arace. It's never been that close between
three horses in the history of theKentucky Derby, never been that close.
Very exciting, all right, mysticDan's uh jockey to find out what this
young man had to say. Thisis the weekend uh that I don't think
a Disney movie can be made of. It's uh, it's unbelievable. You
know, I always dreamed of winningthe Kentucky Derby. Man, I'm like,

(25:26):
my grandparents have a photo of mewhen I was six years old.
I used to ride around in mydad's jackpants on my bicycle, tell him
I was gonna win the Kentucky Derbysomeday. So to uh to be able
to do this with uh, withKenny and all our family. What if
he still has on his dad hisgranddad's jockpants. It's unbelievable, you know.
It's interest this coming. We believedin his horse for a long time,

(25:47):
you know, That's what that wasthe nice thing about it. We
thought, yeah, everybody did alltwenty one. Yeah did you see this
coming? Uh? Well everybody did. Yeah, everybody had a shot.
We thought we came into this witha legitimate chance and and with with the
post position we drew, we thoughtwe could make a little magic happen.
And it just you you couldn't havedrew it up any better than it came

(26:07):
about. Everything fell in the shapethe whole way around there, through the
entire race, just like I thoughtit would, and from there I was
fortunate enough to have the right horseunder mouth. When you describe the historical
significance of what you achieved this weekend, it's I don't think you can describe
it. I mean, to beable to pull off an Oaks and Derby
double, it's it's rarely been doneand it's something that it's gonna take.

(26:30):
Yeah, the Oaks and Derby.They won the big race on Friday,
and then they won the big raceon Saturday. They won both big races.
That is unbelievable. Don't think it'sever been done before. But to
win the Kentucky Derby. Only onejockey in the world does it every year.
It's easier to fly to the spacestation. It's easier to pitch a

(26:51):
perfect game, it's easier to doa lot of things. There's one jockey
unless it's a dead heat, whichI don't think they've ever had one.
But one jockey ends the Kentucky Derbyevery year. So congratulations that young man,
mystic Dan. I should have known. My grandfather's name is Dan.
One of the great human beings,probably the greatest human being I ever met.

(27:11):
Mystic Dan and I talked about itlast week, even before the Kentucky
Derby. How much I enjoyed mygrandfather, how much I love my dad's
dad. And there was a horsenamed Mystic Dan, and I blew it.
I didn't bet him because I don'treally look at horses names. You
don't know what do you look at? I look at stads, You look
at workouts, you look at wade. You look at how long it's been

(27:34):
since that horse has rested, howthat horse has been training. How that
sounds very involved? Yeah, it'spretty involved. And how long it's been
rested, what race it's run inthe past, how much it's earned,
if it's a if it's speed,if it's an early speed, mid speed,

(27:55):
late speed. Yeah, all thatcrap. And I came up with
nothing. You didn't hear from Timor from Tim from Chris my boss,
Well, Chris, no, Chrislittle was there. I bet. I
don't know if he won or not. He didn't text me. The chances
are, Look, if a guygoes to the derby and doesn't text you,
he lost, he lost, right, that's right? Yeah? If

(28:19):
he had won, everybody in theworld would have been texted he lost,
all right. Fritz Coleman's Coming Upwith Us on on KFI AM six forty
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you can always hear
us live on KFI AM six fortyfour to seven pm Monday through Friday,
and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app