Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's KMF. I am sixty and you're listening to the
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app Americans eat
more bananas than any other fresh fruit per capita. I
didn't know that. Were you guys to worry of that?
Do we eat more bananas than any other fruit?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Excited?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Sort of makes sense. I guess I thought it was apples,
That's what I was gonna say. Really, well, you're both wrong.
Who eats apples in the morning? Nobody? I have and
you have? That just seems like a snack that everyone has. Though,
when's the last time you had an apple? Stefan, when's
(00:39):
the last time you had an apple? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Probably like in May?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
He just ate three cups of noodles backed back then?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
No way, really and he did.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Like an apple flavored a march on couple noodles tastered
test cup noodles.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, you had the full cup of noodles cup noodles, Yeah,
cup noodles, Yeah, you had three of those.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well today I had to yet, Uh the ones from
in here? Yeah, aren't those smaller than the like the
regular ones?
Speaker 5 (01:13):
No?
Speaker 6 (01:13):
I think that the regular size. But she means she's
trying to make me look worse. But I only had
two and a half.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I don't need.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
You had three cups of the.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, what's going on in there?
Fake news?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It's not fake news.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
I had, I had, I had a march I had
a march on on my own.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And then it's the same. It's like a yeah, I've
been on that game for a while. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
So I had that, and then she smelled it and
she's like, oh, I'm going to have one. So she
had one and then she's like, oh, I like the noodles.
I don't like the broth. I'm like, all right, hand
it over. So she saved the broth for me, and
then I had another one, and then I added it
to my broth. So that's like technically two and a half.
Wait a minute, I'm I'm dazed.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
So she ate all the noodles out of it, and
you took the broth and drank it? Well no, I mean,
well I put it in my second one. So if
she was eating cereal, would you take the milk? I
just took a chance. I was like, she doesn't get around,
so listen, just don't get around. Oh that's great. How
(02:36):
do you know you know when she's out of work.
We actually talked about it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Oh, real questionnaire. Before I took.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
The b I said, I like the noodles. I just
don't like the broth. It's got too much sodium in it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well do you get around? He said, I'll take.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
It, and I said, he goes, and then we had
the discussion.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I said, well, I'm just picking the noodles out with
a fork.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I'm not even really touching the broth, and he goes,
I trust you, you know, get around.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Wow, what a compliment and an insult. I guess yes, yeah,
kind of. But belly, without telling us how old you are?
What's your history with cup noodles? And I'm gonna go
with like driver's license, I'm gonna go with cup of noodles,
what's your history? Hell? Have you had them? H well,
over four decades maybe easily, But I like top ram
(03:25):
and normally irmally would not eat whatever whatever the brand
name is. But noodles with that that really salty liquid. Yeah,
you've had it for over forty years probably okay, with
husband's boyfriends, you know, friends you went to college with. Whatever. Yeah,
this has got to be the first time somebody offered
to drink your juice. It's absolutely the first time. I'll
(03:49):
it's gotta be good for her, and it might be
the last time.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Yeah, it's probably the last now. I I actually if
I offered it to him tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, he would take it because you know why, because
you don't.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Get around, Because I do not get around.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
That's crazy.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Man.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I did walk by the studio and I heard a
big bang and I looked in and it was it
was a shoelace flying through the room. Somebody had too
much salt and broke a shoelace.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
That was food food.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
They popped the lace.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, he was man.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Oh man, all right, we got to go back to
this because we always do with stuff. Foosh. How many
of those can you knock off the cup of noodles?
Can you go? Six?
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I could probably have at least another at least another
four or five. Those are good. I'd have to.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Look into it. But I actually have heard recently that
they've cut down dramatically on the salt that they put
in it.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Oh is that right? Yeah? Yeah, but it's just now
it's just a pound essentially.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
It did seem Yeah, my noodles were less salty this time.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
Man.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, but that man, that that is a really good
treat when you eat those really hot noodles initially with
that really salty liquid.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
And because it's getting colder, I'm like, oh, that just
sounds so good, like a hot thing of you know.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
He didn't comparison yesterday, wasn't it yesterday he compared the
cup noodles to the march on and which one had.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
The better broth?
Speaker 5 (05:14):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Where is it getting colder? What does that mean getting cooler?
It's a it's a cool weather food. Oh, I see right, Yeah,
but he's going to ninety five, so you might have
to cut back on cup noodles this week.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
Oh yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
It's we're going back to the heat, back to the
heat ice cream. But I'm surprised that Bellio is into
the cup noodles.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
That doesn't rightly I'm not either, But he just made
those noodles sound so good. Do you know they have
over eleven hundred grams of sodium?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Well no, no, I mean milligrams? Whoa, no kidding? Really
there's salt in that. No, I didn't realize eleven and
that's eleven teaspones or tables. Wow, that's a lot yeah,
but they are good, man, those hot noodles, especially when
it's really really hot, you know, piping hot.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
My favorite was she finished it and she goes, you know,
I heard that the actually that the noodles and this
cup of noodles is not that good for you much.
Why do you think it's so delicious? Why do you
think I would go to McDonald's, right?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And why do you think it's nine cents for a
box of those things? There's nothing in it.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But though they dropped the they dropped the salt amount
from about fifteen to a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
All right, all right, and would you get him down
here in the commissary. It's in the yeah, and oh
it's a sadraw.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
It's in the bottom.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Oh I didn't know that. I know either. That's why
I got shocked, and I got so stoked about it.
I just thought, oh, I didn't know that. I'll take
one then, yeah, great, I got chicken or chicken. Michelle's
hearing this and she's gonna be like, oh boy, all right,
So there's a marsh on and then the cup noodles,
(06:51):
both kinds in there. What's better? I prefer march on?
All right, I'm gonna go with that. Yeah, all right,
I'm gonna I'm gonna bust is open. I gotta eat
these things. I know it's not good to do it
through it.
Speaker 6 (07:05):
No, I'm gonna poort the boiling water in the breakroom.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah, I'm gonna do the boiling water. Yep. And uh.
And then I'm telling.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
You how to make cup noodles.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Well, I thought I was gonna eat them. And then
I'm gonna give you say anything that would have been fantastic.
And then because I don't get around either, you're gonna
eat my liquid? How about that? All right? Didn't come
out right?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Juice.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You're gonna drink my juice whether you like it or not.
All right, Well again, didn't come out again, didn't come
out right, didn't come out right, But you're gonna you're
gonna eat it.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on de Mayo from
KF I am sixty.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I was just talking to Belly and she's great. She's great,
You're great. But Bello and I we sort of have
the same like the same upbringing. Both of our dads
were really into the racetrack. We knew when they hit
we knew when they didn't, and just a lot of
this similar vibe. Yeah, but I remember you remember, like
(08:09):
crozy you go back stuff You probably don't, but Angel does.
When remember the cord that went from your home phone
to your receiver and it was all curled up, you know,
it's like like a like a big like a noodle. Yeah,
and if you stretched it out, remember how pissed mom
and Dad would get. Yes, you put a kink in
(08:29):
that noodle. Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Couldn't get that kink out, man, when it twisted the
other way.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
How did you get like that?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
And then you'd hold it. Steph said, you know, you
hold it upside down right, and it spins and you
try to do it that way, but it doesn't work.
And there's always that one kink, one kink in that cord.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Or it would get so twisted that you could only
like pick up the phone like two inches receiver because
it was so twisted.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
You're like, hold on, let me get that. I got
to get that right here. I really think I don't
think I've admitted this on the air before, but I
think I could have been stuteley or as a kid,
except for my mom, and I blame my mom for
the why is that, I'll tell you why. When I
was in third grade, I was going to go to
a Halloween party and I wanted to invite a girl
(09:15):
named Carrie to the to the Halloween party. And and
I we started school, you know, late August, and this
party was going to be in you know, late October.
And literally every single day I got home, I got
her number. Remember how I got a number, But I
got her phone number. And every single day i'd come home,
(09:36):
I'd sit near the phone. I'd write stuff down to
say to her, because I was so nervous that sweet
that I would run out of things to say, like
what kind of things like write down you know, like hey,
do you remember when we were playing four square? You know,
I kind of crap, And you know, i'd write down
(09:57):
her mom's name and her dad name. So I didn't forget, though,
was you know, I was buttoned up. I was buttoned up.
And so every day I'd come home and I'd and
i'd sit near the phone. I remember sitting in the
kitchen right near the phone, and I'd go to dial
and then i'd I'd chicken out. I'd go out and
play and then i'd come back and i'd I'd go, okay,
now I'm gonna call. And then it was eight o'clock
at night. You couldn't call after eight. Yeah, so that
(10:20):
day was blown. I'd do the same thing over the
next day, the next day, the next day, weekends, weekdays, weekends, weekdays,
for about four weeks, wow, four or five weeks. I finally,
I think I I think I may have taken a
shot at my dad's gin to get up the courage
to call in third grade.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Maybe maybe I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Maybe that's not true, but but I finally got the
courage to call. And it was like, get seven o'clock
on a Sunday. And I remember this very very specific.
I think it was I think it was the Sunday
and it was at seven o'clock at night. I it
all seven buttons calls going, you know, before he had
(11:05):
a dollary code calls on its way. It wrings her
mom answers and I said, hey, you know, I introduced
myself and I said, hey, can I speak to your daughter?
And she said, I guess, so, you know, very hesitant,
I guess, so okay, in third gradees called my daughter,
But I just want to invite her, you know, and
(11:26):
go to go. This is so lame, but I wanted
to picture the idea of going to the Halloween party
as raggedy Ann and Andy. How weak is that? That's cute?
How weak is that that's cute? I got it, get
goose bumps. I'd like to be at bottom of that
(11:47):
ocean smooth. At one point, so I the phone. So
she goes hold on one sec and the girl gets
on the phone. She goes hello, I go hey, it's uh,
it's it's Tim. I'm in here. She goes yeah. She goes,
I know exactly who you are. And because I really
did have much conversation with her in school, I was
(12:07):
pretty sure I like paralyzing, paralyzed with shyness. And we
talked for like literally like thirty seconds. And she goes, oh,
I'm so glad you call. You going to the party. Yeah,
I'm going to the Halloween party. And I think it
was at Wendy's house. I said, yeah, yeah, it's right
up the street from her. And all of a sudden,
my mom comes by and she goes, who are you
(12:28):
talking to? And I said I'm talking to a girl
I know in school and she hangs the phone up.
She goes, you're not talking to girls in third grade
in my house. Hangs the phone, now, why would you
do that? Hangs it up. That was a wrap. Didn't
(12:55):
go to the Halloween party, didn't go with her, that
was a.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Rap, like you never spoke about it.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I'm still not over it. I'm sitting here, you know, sweating.
You're working through it now. I'm working through it right now,
sweat my ass off. But my mom was a very strict,
strict woman, very strict Catholic. Hey. Look, she got kicked
out of two churches, two parishes because the priest wasn't
on board with where life started.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
She was a strict strict Life starts a conception period,
and the period was the size of like Connecticut. There's
no wigger room with this woman. None. And so if
a priest said, well, you know, there's a lot of
people that you know, and she gets into the you know,
abortion with the you know, incest or whatever, my mom
(13:43):
is a no, no, no, no, that's not that's bs. It
blew up and we got kicked out of two churches.
Saint Mels church in Woodland Hills that we got kicked
out of Lady of Grace in Scene and we ended
up in Saint Cyril's. We're the ones that just kept
drifting down Venture at Boulevard, being kicked out of one
massive Catholic church after another. But my mom had a policy,
(14:04):
unless you're married, you cannot have a woman sleepover at
her house, like when we went to visit her in Canada.
If I was if I had a girlfriend, and sometimes
I did, we were not allowed to stay at my
mom's house as an adult. As an adult, I was
thirty seven Crowzier. Wow, Wow, I was thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I take this door off the hinges.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
And had a pretty serious girlfriend at thirty seven for
thirty I don't know thirty six. I gotta do the
math on that. But I was in my mid to
late thirties and she said, you're not coming over with
your girlfriend. She's not staying overnight. And I said, but
she'll stay in another room. No, that's not happening. So
(14:46):
when I got married in in the early two thousands,
everybody at my mom's place in Canada thought I was
marrying another guy. Oh, because they said, they're like, wow,
we never saw you with a woman, I said, because
my mom. It wasn't because of me, because my mom
(15:07):
was crazy. I don't know if you know that. Don't
remember that she's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So she would allow you to have dudes over at
the place.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Now, I don't think she would either. No, Oh, I
don't know she would have gone down that road with me.
I think that would have been another discussion.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So you weren't let to have any friends?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
No, No, I could have friends over. No. But are
you saying if I, if I was in a relationship
with the guy, would the guy be able to say there, No,
but what a guy friend?
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Absolute, one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And she was friends with all my friends. I mean
she knew like Robbie Fox, my Kennessee, m McDaniel, all
these guys. I mean she you know, she grew up.
They were over at our house more than I think
I was. But this man, I think I could have
really rolled around if it wasn't for my mom paralyzing
me when I was thirty. Grand I don't like I
ever got over that. I really don't. I still run
(15:55):
into that girl that I called on occasion, and I
run into her, and I still get nervous around her
because of what happened.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I was going to say, I was wondering at whether
or not you completely avoided her the next day in school.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I still see her today, I mean I saw her
a year ago.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
And she knows the story. And so you've since explained
that to her. Oh I've told her that story twenty times.
And she's like, I can't believe your mom did that
to you. I said, you can't, you can't.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I was there.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
How about being on Magnolia in the house that she
did it? Stand next to the yellow phone in the kitchen.
How about that guy?
Speaker 5 (16:28):
All right?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Just see her going click yeah, and you just sitting
there silently looking.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I still had the receiver. She clicked it on the
on the phone, she pushed it down on the phone,
and I was still on, going hello Hello. Then she
grabs it from me. You're not talking to a girl
in third grade in my house. That's never gonna happen again.
All right, all right, all right? How many more years
until I'm eighteen?
Speaker 7 (16:53):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
You know, when you have a doctor and there's nothing
wrong with you. Sometimes a year or two goes by
and you don't go to them, and then it's hard
to call them again.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
You feel guilty.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, you feel like you let them down, like
like it was a friend that you're you know.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
You're not.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Are weird?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
No, you don't, not at all. Oh see I lost
touch with doctor Ballot. I didn't get a new doctor.
I just have him going.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Are you dating him?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
No, we weren't dating, although we did some things that
people who date to and if you want to know,
got to second base. In some countries we're dating and
uh some you know, wild dating too once a year,
(17:53):
you know. But so he was like two or three
years and then I didn't call him, and it's been
like six seven Now it's been like twelve years, and
I and I and I think about him every day.
Isn't that weird? I think about this doctor. He was
(18:14):
the greatest doctor every every and I think about every
year him every day.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well, he had a great nickname. What was it, uh
small fingers? Oh, so I I have a for you. Yeah.
I have a friend of mine, a guy named Robbie Fox,
who called me up and he goes, buddy, you're not
going to believe this. But my sister in law is
friends with your old doctor, doctor Darryl Balen, and he says,
(18:42):
I'm going to his house to have dinner to night.
This is last week. And I said, buddy, you got
to get me back in with this guy. And he goes,
I'll try. So he went there. He said, hey, Conway
wants to come back, and doctor Ballen was like, I
don't know. I mean he you know, he did sort
of split and he never he goes. He goes, I
have course he can come back. He said, of course
(19:03):
he can come back. But I think about him every day.
Is that weird? I read that.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I just recently got into starting up because I never
really finished all of it. A Kirby enthusiasm, Okay, And
and that is exactly the plot of an episode of
Kirbyan Is that right? Yeah, it's such an episode of
this classic.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
But I'm back, baby, I'm back. I can now call
him and go to see the world's greatest doctor. I
don't know if he's taking on any new patients, but man,
if you're if your doctor's name is doctor Darren Darryl Balin,
you get the best doctor. I remember him telling me
one one year, this like fourteen years ago, he said,
Tim he said, he said of himself. He goes, I
(19:42):
drive a nice car. I'm a doctor. I'm in Tarzana.
I drive a nice car. He said, your cholesterol is
higher than my car payment. And I said, I know.
He goes, how do you know? And I said, well,
to steal a line from Brian Reagan, you told me
last year my cholesterol is high and I haven't done
anything about it. But he's probably thinking, why do I
(20:06):
want this guy back? Every time I say to him
his cholesterol is high, he just leaves here and just
ignores that that information.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
He figures he's gonna stop seeing you one way or
the other. Soon.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
That's right, that's right. Eventually everyone will stop seeing me.
But I got back in with him, which is, uh,
which is really cool.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
At first, the first appointment's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah right, yeah, yeah, yeah, the first appointment is going
to be Okay, we got another guy here that's gonna,
uh check your prostate? Oh really, go wow, who's this guy?
Who's this dude? But Crozer, that's amazing. You've never had
a physical.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah, And I'm really starting to get to the pointments like,
I probably should really start being a little more proactive
on that stuff. It's not like a dentist appointment, though,
where they call you annually and say it's I have
my dentist appointment today six months. So they really need
to figure out a system.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
How long you've been going to the same dentists?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
About four year, five years?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Okay, so you're dedicated.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, yeah, although it was a seven year period. We
they can go to a dentist.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Okay, man, are you sure you were born like in
nineteen ten when I went.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
That first time after like seven years? Zero cavity.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Okay, that's cool, that's cool. But you're in good shape.
I mean, do you eat well? You know, you work
out right? You know you don't work out in the garage? Yeah,
you don't smoke cigarettes?
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Right?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And you have a two story house?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I do?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
They say.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
They said people of the two story house lived twelve
years longer than people this single story house.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
I believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, I've just made that up, but I think it's true.
I mean, you're climb you're climbing those stairs fifteen twenty
times a day.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yes, and I usually do two at a time.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
So, oh, you do Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah, I'm gonna jump.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Right there moving yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
But if you've been down to at a time.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Okay, so if you could easily do it twenty times
a day. Yeah, and so if you do that, you
know twenty and there's probably what forty steps? Yeah, all right,
that much? Maybe twenty five? Yeah, okay, twenty times twenty
five is five hundred steps.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
And I go up and down that one of the
fourth floor. Here I go. I don't use the elevators here.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Wait, you don't use it? You climb up to the
fourth floor.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah, I never do that.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
You haven't seen the elevators?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Well, only like sometimes when I go down with you
when we're leaving. Oh, I say, that's about it. That's
the only time I see the elevator.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Oh, that's classic. You and Matt Muddy Smith he also
doesn't use the elevator.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Are a couple of people I run into in the stairwell,
and yeah, that's our exercise.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah. I sometimes am so lazy that if I'm in
the elevator, I have somebody else press the button for me.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Can you hit that? You're just waiting for somebody to
come in.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I'm exhausted. Can you hit that four for me. I'm exhausted,
all right, I Crozier, Angel, Stephush and Bellio. Great job everybody.
And you know what you guys are not. You're not losers.
Speaker 7 (22:57):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
We talk about Craig's Restaurant all the time on the air.
I've never been there, but I know Mark Thompson is
a regular, love it there. And and you know the
guy who runs a Greg Susser, right, he's terrific. I mean,
he's the reason that the place is so popular. All Right,
Craig is with us. Craig how you Wow, how'd you
get him?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
I don't know. I mean, gentleman, I am so thrilled
to be on the show. By the way, I was
going to point out the fact that you've never been there.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
You know, I always bust Alex Michaelson's balls because you
know he's a he's a regular at Craig's. And and
he said, no, you know, he goes to ihop and
Denny's as much as he goes to Craig's. And then
at the end of the conversation he said, oh, but
I really loved it. Brett at Craigs. I'm like, I
knew it. I knew it.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
Yeah, he's a Craig guy. By the way, I don't
know if you know it's it's nice to be in
with all of those other brands that you're talking about Craig, right,
and the Brett is special. And by the way, I
also get Johnny.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Ken So you wait, you get john going in there.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Of course I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
That's fantastic. Hey, how long has Craig's been around?
Speaker 5 (24:09):
All right, we're going on twelve and a half years,
coming up on thirteen.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Okay, by the way, I don't know if you know this, Greg,
but it is the Hollywood restaurant. I mean when people
talk about, you know, going to a restaurant where Hollywood
insiders go, it's always Craigs.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Well, okay, so it's a regular restaurant that happens to
have a lot of Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I've heard it described regulars. I've heard it described by
many people as the modern day Chasings. Is that true
or false?
Speaker 5 (24:39):
I will take that compliment every day.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Huge compliments refer to it. Yeah, huge compliment.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
I mean, I mean, if you're looking to start a restaurant.
You have no higher goal in Los Angeles than being
compared to a place like Chasing.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Wow. Okay, so are you old enough to remember going
to Chasin's like with your parents? No.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I I was a young waiter and we had heard
the Chasins was closing and we wanted to go, and
so we got all dressed up, we got in suits
and ties, you know, grabbed our dates, and we had
some money because we were young waiters, and we went
and it was an interesting experience because we were like, wow,
(25:22):
it feels like it's stuck thirty years ago. And they weren't.
They were like nice to us, but you know, we
were young, and you know whereas It taught me a
valuable lesson in that I want the older crowd, the
middle aged crowd, and the younger crowd, and I want
all of them to feel just as special as the
(25:42):
people that I've known for twelve years or the old
people like Mark that is.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Thank you, I heard it. I do think there's quite
a cross section. Tim You've got these young like Instagram
influencers who are excited to be at Craigs, and you
also have the sort of the people who are around
for a long time. I mean the older kids. It's
a really good little cross checktion. I all thought about
that way.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It's great. It's it's a great restaurant for really rich
people and a great restaurant for really really rich.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
People, and also for people. You know what, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
You got you gotta take that.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
If you're gonna deliver the punches, you gotta take that.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
Hey, you know you can come in, split a dish,
have a beer at a very a port ball to
knock it.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Off, split it. That's great. Hey, Craig, when you go
out to eat, where do you go?
Speaker 5 (26:35):
Uh? You know? We we love As a matter of fact,
last night my wife and I, Lisa, we went to
osenebo U, Japanese restaurant on Ventura in in in the Valley.
I do try to go to all the new restaurants
and show my support because I'm a big believer in
all of us in the restaurant business need to stick together.
And I think we learned that during COVID. So go
(26:56):
to catch catch steak. We just went to Funky a
little while ago that opened up in Beverly Hills. We've
been the mother wolf. We try to hit everything and
then we put it up on our social media to
support that's right. It's not a zero sum game, right,
It's not I win, you lose. It's people are going
out eating and they can't eat at the same place
(27:17):
every time.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
That's right, buddy. I think that's terrific. I love that.
You know, the people that I know that go to Craigs,
they they love it. Like Alex Michaelson talks about the bread,
Mark talks about the vegan dishes, but nobody has I've
never heard anyone said, you know, I went there and
I had a bad experience. And that's unusual for a restaurant,
because you know, somebody waiter us a bad night, or
(27:40):
somebody drops something. There's always an opportunity for a bad time.
But nobody, nobody really expresses that. So you must really
be hands on.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Thanks. It's how it's how you recover the errors. It's
not that anybody doesn't make sure right and then and
then also, I think we learned during COVID that that
social moment that happens when you walk in a room,
you say hello to a few friends and you're in
a room full of eighty ninety one hundred people, that's
the stuff we missed during COVID. That's the thing we
can't get from our phone or by watching something on TV.
(28:10):
And that's what happens in a restaurant.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
That's you know, it's funny, Tim, I was just gonna say.
The thing is beyond the food. There's an energy to
the place. It's really special, and that energy you only
have there, you know, And that's got nothing to do
with what you order on the menu.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
It's got to do with other stuff. Craig, what was
the restaurant that was there before you opened?
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Oh god, it was I think it was called Melrose
Bar and Grill. Okay, then it was Yeah, and then
it was doug Orengos, and then I think it was
a place called Alberto's from nineteen sixty five to two thousand.
I mean, the thing that I think we all are
now realizing in the restaurant business is, yes, it's food
and service, but it's also hospitality. It's also taking care
(28:49):
of people and remembering special things and making sure that
people feel comfortable. And my kids who are ten feel
just as comfortable there and other kids as you know,
the older and so it's it's finding out what's going
on in their lives and actively being a participant in it.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
When you say kids, do you have twins?
Speaker 5 (29:09):
I do? We have. We have ten and a half
year old twins, Gemma and Adrian and and you know, I.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Can't tell mind the names boys or girls, but one
in one oh, one and one okay, so they're not identical, all.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Right, Tim, But can be surprised on how many people
ask that question.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
That's great, Hey, you know what, You're running a high
end place when every time I've ever driven by Craigs,
there's always paparazzi out there. Always.
Speaker 5 (29:37):
Yeah. I mean that's a blessing and a curse. Whether
I wish there was something that we could do a
little bit about that, and we spend a lot of
time protecting people. So yes, it is good in that
it gives a place publicity, but it is unfortunate when
somebody's just looking to have dinner, sure and go home.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hey, and without without naming names, have you had to
throw a throw an aidless celebrity out of your restaurant?
Speaker 5 (30:00):
Uh? Have I ever? Yes? No, have I ever wanted to?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
What else are you working on? You got your are
you opening up anything else?
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:11):
So we you know, We've got a whole brand of
cashew based vegan ice creams that we sell in local
supermarkets at Bristol and Gelson's, Mark's a big fan of,
and then's Alund nationwide. And then we're going to be
opening up a second restaurant in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Oh that's cool, okay, Yeah, So.
Speaker 5 (30:28):
It's just it's time to kind of expand and and
and grow the brand. And and you know what time
do you open? Every day? We open at five o'clock
and the kitchen stays open till eleven eleven pm?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Okay, all right? And and do you do you need reservations?
How far in.
Speaker 5 (30:44):
Advance reservations are taking two weeks out? I would take
the early side of the late side, until you know,
obviously people get to know you, and then you know,
you start to become a regular. And that's really that's it. Okay,
not that difficult.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
If I came there with my my my wife and
my my beautiful wife, my beautiful daughter, could I could
I tape? Could I tip the waiter or waitress or
may er? D like I don't know, fifty bucks? To
not have paparazzi and people bother me.
Speaker 5 (31:14):
Let's just say, I could work that out for you,
but the problem is I'd have to give you marks tables.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Wait, are there celebrities tables? Is there a Tom Hanks table?
Speaker 5 (31:23):
No? No, there are people that have particular preferences, like inside, outside,
I know where certain people like to sit.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
But right, because in Chasin's they and Chasin's they used
the booths named after people.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Yeah, we try to stay away from that because what
happens if the two people call and they both have
their name on the booth, and what happens.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
When a person dies? Do you take the name off
the booth?
Speaker 5 (31:44):
I don't know exactly. Like, I'm not looking to cause
any issues, that's right.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
How big is the restaurant? What's the max capacity?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (31:51):
Inside seats ninety outside on the back patio seats eighty five.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Wow, that's huge.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
John, it's gotten, it's got, it's gotten really big. And
nice thing about the back patio is COVID was kind
of a blessing and the curse we lived through it.
We didn't lay anybody off and we ended up with
this big, beautiful patio on the outside.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Good for you, buddy, appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (32:11):
Coming on.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
We'll drag Conway and I gotta get out there.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Do you guys have please?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
But I gotta ask the question. The only way I really,
you know, try a restaurant initially is go through the
drive through. But you don't have.
Speaker 5 (32:22):
One but a drive by. I'll throw food, all.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Right, buddy, you're the best. You got a great sense
of humor for you know us busting your balls. You
got a very successful restaurant. I hope the the twins
still love you.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
You know, I love it. I appreciate it. Thanks for
your time. Mark, I'll see you, Tim. I'd better see
you all right.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
All right, thanks, Greg, really appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
All right.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Craig Craig Susser, who owns Craig the biggest restaurant, the
most popular US. I've tried to get you there several times.
Reason why I said this because age ten is when
kids start going to the room and closing the door
and it you know, you know, I hope that doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I'm just judging on social media relationship with his kid.
Beautiful family.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
But he's established, right, I think he's thirty five, sixty five.
He's in my wheelhouse. Yeah, he's established.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Tim. I will go with you and split a aluminum
foil wrapped baked potato.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Wow, you know, maybe I shouldn't drag but eat it
in the car. All right, let's go to Craigs. We're
live on KFI AM six forty
It's KMF. I am sixty and you're listening to the
Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app Americans eat
more bananas than any other fresh fruit per capita. I
didn't know that. Were you guys to worry of that?
Do we eat more bananas than any other fruit?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Excited?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Sort of makes sense. I guess I thought it was apples,
That's what I was gonna say. Really, well, you're both wrong.
Who eats apples in the morning? Nobody? I have and
you have? That just seems like a snack that everyone has. Though,
when's the last time you had an apple? Stefan, when's
(00:39):
the last time you had an apple? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Probably like in May?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
He just ate three cups of noodles backed back then?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
No way, really and he did.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Like an apple flavored a march on couple noodles tastered
test cup noodles.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, you had the full cup of noodles cup noodles, Yeah,
cup noodles, Yeah, you had three of those.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well today I had to yet, Uh the ones from
in here? Yeah, aren't those smaller than the like the
regular ones?
Speaker 5 (01:13):
No?
Speaker 6 (01:13):
I think that the regular size. But she means she's
trying to make me look worse. But I only had
two and a half.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I don't need.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
You had three cups of the.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, what's going on in there?
Fake news?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It's not fake news.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
I had, I had, I had a march I had
a march on on my own.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And then it's the same. It's like a yeah, I've
been on that game for a while. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
So I had that, and then she smelled it and
she's like, oh, I'm going to have one. So she
had one and then she's like, oh, I like the noodles.
I don't like the broth. I'm like, all right, hand
it over. So she saved the broth for me, and
then I had another one, and then I added it
to my broth. So that's like technically two and a half.
Wait a minute, I'm I'm dazed.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
So she ate all the noodles out of it, and
you took the broth and drank it? Well no, I mean,
well I put it in my second one. So if
she was eating cereal, would you take the milk? I
just took a chance. I was like, she doesn't get around,
so listen, just don't get around. Oh that's great. How
(02:36):
do you know you know when she's out of work.
We actually talked about it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Oh, real questionnaire. Before I took.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
The b I said, I like the noodles. I just
don't like the broth. It's got too much sodium in it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well do you get around? He said, I'll take.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
It, and I said, he goes, and then we had
the discussion.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I said, well, I'm just picking the noodles out with
a fork.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I'm not even really touching the broth, and he goes,
I trust you, you know, get around.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Wow, what a compliment and an insult. I guess yes, yeah,
kind of. But belly, without telling us how old you are?
What's your history with cup noodles? And I'm gonna go
with like driver's license, I'm gonna go with cup of noodles,
what's your history? Hell? Have you had them? H well,
over four decades maybe easily, But I like top ram
(03:25):
and normally irmally would not eat whatever whatever the brand
name is. But noodles with that that really salty liquid. Yeah,
you've had it for over forty years probably okay, with
husband's boyfriends, you know, friends you went to college with. Whatever. Yeah,
this has got to be the first time somebody offered
to drink your juice. It's absolutely the first time. I'll
(03:49):
it's gotta be good for her, and it might be
the last time.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Yeah, it's probably the last now. I I actually if
I offered it to him tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, he would take it because you know why, because
you don't.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Get around, Because I do not get around.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
That's crazy.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Man.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I did walk by the studio and I heard a
big bang and I looked in and it was it
was a shoelace flying through the room. Somebody had too
much salt and broke a shoelace.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
That was food food.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
They popped the lace.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, he was man.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Oh man, all right, we got to go back to
this because we always do with stuff. Foosh. How many
of those can you knock off the cup of noodles?
Can you go? Six?
Speaker 5 (04:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I could probably have at least another at least another
four or five. Those are good. I'd have to.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Look into it. But I actually have heard recently that
they've cut down dramatically on the salt that they put
in it.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Oh is that right? Yeah? Yeah, but it's just now
it's just a pound essentially.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
It did seem Yeah, my noodles were less salty this time.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
Man.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, but that man, that that is a really good
treat when you eat those really hot noodles initially with
that really salty liquid.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
And because it's getting colder, I'm like, oh, that just
sounds so good, like a hot thing of you know.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
He didn't comparison yesterday, wasn't it yesterday he compared the
cup noodles to the march on and which one had.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
The better broth?
Speaker 5 (05:14):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Where is it getting colder? What does that mean getting cooler?
It's a it's a cool weather food. Oh, I see right, Yeah,
but he's going to ninety five, so you might have
to cut back on cup noodles this week.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
Oh yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
It's we're going back to the heat, back to the
heat ice cream. But I'm surprised that Bellio is into
the cup noodles.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
That doesn't rightly I'm not either, But he just made
those noodles sound so good. Do you know they have
over eleven hundred grams of sodium?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Well no, no, I mean milligrams? Whoa, no kidding? Really
there's salt in that. No, I didn't realize eleven and
that's eleven teaspones or tables. Wow, that's a lot yeah,
but they are good, man, those hot noodles, especially when
it's really really hot, you know, piping hot.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
My favorite was she finished it and she goes, you know,
I heard that the actually that the noodles and this
cup of noodles is not that good for you much.
Why do you think it's so delicious? Why do you
think I would go to McDonald's, right?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And why do you think it's nine cents for a
box of those things? There's nothing in it.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But though they dropped the they dropped the salt amount
from about fifteen to a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
All right, all right, and would you get him down
here in the commissary. It's in the yeah, and oh
it's a sadraw.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
It's in the bottom.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Oh I didn't know that. I know either. That's why
I got shocked, and I got so stoked about it.
I just thought, oh, I didn't know that. I'll take
one then, yeah, great, I got chicken or chicken. Michelle's
hearing this and she's gonna be like, oh boy, all right,
So there's a marsh on and then the cup noodles,
(06:51):
both kinds in there. What's better? I prefer march on?
All right, I'm gonna go with that. Yeah, all right,
I'm gonna I'm gonna bust is open. I gotta eat
these things. I know it's not good to do it
through it.
Speaker 6 (07:05):
No, I'm gonna poort the boiling water in the breakroom.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah, I'm gonna do the boiling water. Yep. And uh.
And then I'm telling.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
You how to make cup noodles.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Well, I thought I was gonna eat them. And then
I'm gonna give you say anything that would have been fantastic.
And then because I don't get around either, you're gonna
eat my liquid? How about that? All right? Didn't come
out right?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Juice.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You're gonna drink my juice whether you like it or not.
All right, Well again, didn't come out again, didn't come
out right, didn't come out right, But you're gonna you're
gonna eat it.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on de Mayo from
KF I am sixty.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I was just talking to Belly and she's great. She's great,
You're great. But Bello and I we sort of have
the same like the same upbringing. Both of our dads
were really into the racetrack. We knew when they hit
we knew when they didn't, and just a lot of
this similar vibe. Yeah, but I remember you remember, like
(08:09):
crozy you go back stuff You probably don't, but Angel does.
When remember the cord that went from your home phone
to your receiver and it was all curled up, you know,
it's like like a like a big like a noodle. Yeah,
and if you stretched it out, remember how pissed mom
and Dad would get. Yes, you put a kink in
(08:29):
that noodle. Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Couldn't get that kink out, man, when it twisted the
other way.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
How did you get like that?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
And then you'd hold it. Steph said, you know, you
hold it upside down right, and it spins and you
try to do it that way, but it doesn't work.
And there's always that one kink, one kink in that cord.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Or it would get so twisted that you could only
like pick up the phone like two inches receiver because
it was so twisted.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
You're like, hold on, let me get that. I got
to get that right here. I really think I don't
think I've admitted this on the air before, but I
think I could have been stuteley or as a kid,
except for my mom, and I blame my mom for
the why is that, I'll tell you why. When I
was in third grade, I was going to go to
a Halloween party and I wanted to invite a girl
(09:15):
named Carrie to the to the Halloween party. And and
I we started school, you know, late August, and this
party was going to be in you know, late October.
And literally every single day I got home, I got
her number. Remember how I got a number, But I
got her phone number. And every single day i'd come home,
(09:36):
I'd sit near the phone. I'd write stuff down to
say to her, because I was so nervous that sweet
that I would run out of things to say, like
what kind of things like write down you know, like hey,
do you remember when we were playing four square? You know,
I kind of crap, And you know, i'd write down
(09:57):
her mom's name and her dad name. So I didn't forget, though,
was you know, I was buttoned up. I was buttoned up.
And so every day I'd come home and I'd and
i'd sit near the phone. I remember sitting in the
kitchen right near the phone, and I'd go to dial
and then i'd I'd chicken out. I'd go out and
play and then i'd come back and i'd I'd go, okay,
now I'm gonna call. And then it was eight o'clock
at night. You couldn't call after eight. Yeah, so that
(10:20):
day was blown. I'd do the same thing over the
next day, the next day, the next day, weekends, weekdays, weekends, weekdays,
for about four weeks, wow, four or five weeks. I finally,
I think I I think I may have taken a
shot at my dad's gin to get up the courage
to call in third grade.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Maybe maybe I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Maybe that's not true, but but I finally got the
courage to call. And it was like, get seven o'clock
on a Sunday. And I remember this very very specific.
I think it was I think it was the Sunday
and it was at seven o'clock at night. I it
all seven buttons calls going, you know, before he had
(11:05):
a dollary code calls on its way. It wrings her
mom answers and I said, hey, you know, I introduced
myself and I said, hey, can I speak to your daughter?
And she said, I guess, so, you know, very hesitant,
I guess, so okay, in third gradees called my daughter,
But I just want to invite her, you know, and
(11:26):
go to go. This is so lame, but I wanted
to picture the idea of going to the Halloween party
as raggedy Ann and Andy. How weak is that? That's cute?
How weak is that that's cute? I got it, get
goose bumps. I'd like to be at bottom of that
(11:47):
ocean smooth. At one point, so I the phone. So
she goes hold on one sec and the girl gets
on the phone. She goes hello, I go hey, it's uh,
it's it's Tim. I'm in here. She goes yeah. She goes,
I know exactly who you are. And because I really
did have much conversation with her in school, I was
(12:07):
pretty sure I like paralyzing, paralyzed with shyness. And we
talked for like literally like thirty seconds. And she goes, oh,
I'm so glad you call. You going to the party. Yeah,
I'm going to the Halloween party. And I think it
was at Wendy's house. I said, yeah, yeah, it's right
up the street from her. And all of a sudden,
my mom comes by and she goes, who are you
(12:28):
talking to? And I said I'm talking to a girl
I know in school and she hangs the phone up.
She goes, you're not talking to girls in third grade
in my house. Hangs the phone, now, why would you
do that? Hangs it up. That was a wrap. Didn't
(12:55):
go to the Halloween party, didn't go with her, that
was a.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Rap, like you never spoke about it.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I'm still not over it. I'm sitting here, you know, sweating.
You're working through it now. I'm working through it right now,
sweat my ass off. But my mom was a very strict,
strict woman, very strict Catholic. Hey. Look, she got kicked
out of two churches, two parishes because the priest wasn't
on board with where life started.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
She was a strict strict Life starts a conception period,
and the period was the size of like Connecticut. There's
no wigger room with this woman. None. And so if
a priest said, well, you know, there's a lot of
people that you know, and she gets into the you know,
abortion with the you know, incest or whatever, my mom
(13:43):
is a no, no, no, no, that's not that's bs. It
blew up and we got kicked out of two churches.
Saint Mels church in Woodland Hills that we got kicked
out of Lady of Grace in Scene and we ended
up in Saint Cyril's. We're the ones that just kept
drifting down Venture at Boulevard, being kicked out of one
massive Catholic church after another. But my mom had a policy,
(14:04):
unless you're married, you cannot have a woman sleepover at
her house, like when we went to visit her in Canada.
If I was if I had a girlfriend, and sometimes
I did, we were not allowed to stay at my
mom's house as an adult. As an adult, I was
thirty seven Crowzier. Wow, Wow, I was thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I take this door off the hinges.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
And had a pretty serious girlfriend at thirty seven for
thirty I don't know thirty six. I gotta do the
math on that. But I was in my mid to
late thirties and she said, you're not coming over with
your girlfriend. She's not staying overnight. And I said, but
she'll stay in another room. No, that's not happening. So
(14:46):
when I got married in in the early two thousands,
everybody at my mom's place in Canada thought I was
marrying another guy. Oh, because they said, they're like, wow,
we never saw you with a woman, I said, because
my mom. It wasn't because of me, because my mom
(15:07):
was crazy. I don't know if you know that. Don't
remember that she's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So she would allow you to have dudes over at
the place.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Now, I don't think she would either. No, Oh, I
don't know she would have gone down that road with me.
I think that would have been another discussion.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So you weren't let to have any friends?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
No, No, I could have friends over. No. But are
you saying if I, if I was in a relationship
with the guy, would the guy be able to say there, No,
but what a guy friend?
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Absolute, one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And she was friends with all my friends. I mean
she knew like Robbie Fox, my Kennessee, m McDaniel, all
these guys. I mean she you know, she grew up.
They were over at our house more than I think
I was. But this man, I think I could have
really rolled around if it wasn't for my mom paralyzing
me when I was thirty. Grand I don't like I
ever got over that. I really don't. I still run
(15:55):
into that girl that I called on occasion, and I
run into her, and I still get nervous around her
because of what happened.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I was going to say, I was wondering at whether
or not you completely avoided her the next day in school.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I still see her today, I mean I saw her
a year ago.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
And she knows the story. And so you've since explained
that to her. Oh I've told her that story twenty times.
And she's like, I can't believe your mom did that
to you. I said, you can't, you can't.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I was there.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
How about being on Magnolia in the house that she
did it? Stand next to the yellow phone in the kitchen.
How about that guy?
Speaker 5 (16:28):
All right?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Just see her going click yeah, and you just sitting
there silently looking.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I still had the receiver. She clicked it on the
on the phone, she pushed it down on the phone,
and I was still on, going hello Hello. Then she
grabs it from me. You're not talking to a girl
in third grade in my house. That's never gonna happen again.
All right, all right, all right? How many more years
until I'm eighteen?
Speaker 7 (16:53):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
You know, when you have a doctor and there's nothing
wrong with you. Sometimes a year or two goes by
and you don't go to them, and then it's hard
to call them again.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
You feel guilty.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, you feel like you let them down, like
like it was a friend that you're you know.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
You're not.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Are weird?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
No, you don't, not at all. Oh see I lost
touch with doctor Ballot. I didn't get a new doctor.
I just have him going.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Are you dating him?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
No, we weren't dating, although we did some things that
people who date to and if you want to know,
got to second base. In some countries we're dating and
uh some you know, wild dating too once a year,
(17:53):
you know. But so he was like two or three
years and then I didn't call him, and it's been
like six seven Now it's been like twelve years, and
I and I and I think about him every day.
Isn't that weird? I think about this doctor. He was
(18:14):
the greatest doctor every every and I think about every
year him every day.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well, he had a great nickname. What was it, uh
small fingers? Oh, so I I have a for you. Yeah.
I have a friend of mine, a guy named Robbie Fox,
who called me up and he goes, buddy, you're not
going to believe this. But my sister in law is
friends with your old doctor, doctor Darryl Balen, and he says,
(18:42):
I'm going to his house to have dinner to night.
This is last week. And I said, buddy, you got
to get me back in with this guy. And he goes,
I'll try. So he went there. He said, hey, Conway
wants to come back, and doctor Ballen was like, I
don't know. I mean he you know, he did sort
of split and he never he goes. He goes, I
have course he can come back. He said, of course
(19:03):
he can come back. But I think about him every day.
Is that weird? I read that.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I just recently got into starting up because I never
really finished all of it. A Kirby enthusiasm, Okay, And
and that is exactly the plot of an episode of
Kirbyan Is that right? Yeah, it's such an episode of
this classic.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
But I'm back, baby, I'm back. I can now call
him and go to see the world's greatest doctor. I
don't know if he's taking on any new patients, but man,
if you're if your doctor's name is doctor Darren Darryl Balin,
you get the best doctor. I remember him telling me
one one year, this like fourteen years ago, he said,
Tim he said, he said of himself. He goes, I
(19:42):
drive a nice car. I'm a doctor. I'm in Tarzana.
I drive a nice car. He said, your cholesterol is
higher than my car payment. And I said, I know.
He goes, how do you know? And I said, well,
to steal a line from Brian Reagan, you told me
last year my cholesterol is high and I haven't done
anything about it. But he's probably thinking, why do I
(20:06):
want this guy back? Every time I say to him
his cholesterol is high, he just leaves here and just
ignores that that information.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
He figures he's gonna stop seeing you one way or
the other. Soon.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
That's right, that's right. Eventually everyone will stop seeing me.
But I got back in with him, which is, uh,
which is really cool.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
At first, the first appointment's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah right, yeah, yeah, yeah, the first appointment is going
to be Okay, we got another guy here that's gonna,
uh check your prostate? Oh really, go wow, who's this guy?
Who's this dude? But Crozer, that's amazing. You've never had
a physical.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah, And I'm really starting to get to the pointments like,
I probably should really start being a little more proactive
on that stuff. It's not like a dentist appointment, though,
where they call you annually and say it's I have
my dentist appointment today six months. So they really need
to figure out a system.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
How long you've been going to the same dentists?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
About four year, five years?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Okay, so you're dedicated.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, yeah, although it was a seven year period. We
they can go to a dentist.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Okay, man, are you sure you were born like in
nineteen ten when I went.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
That first time after like seven years? Zero cavity.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Okay, that's cool, that's cool. But you're in good shape.
I mean, do you eat well? You know, you work
out right? You know you don't work out in the garage? Yeah,
you don't smoke cigarettes?
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Right?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And you have a two story house?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I do?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
They say.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
They said people of the two story house lived twelve
years longer than people this single story house.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
I believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, I've just made that up, but I think it's true.
I mean, you're climb you're climbing those stairs fifteen twenty
times a day.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yes, and I usually do two at a time.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
So, oh, you do Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah, I'm gonna jump.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Right there moving yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
But if you've been down to at a time.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Okay, so if you could easily do it twenty times
a day. Yeah, and so if you do that, you
know twenty and there's probably what forty steps? Yeah, all right,
that much? Maybe twenty five? Yeah, okay, twenty times twenty
five is five hundred steps.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
And I go up and down that one of the
fourth floor. Here I go. I don't use the elevators here.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Wait, you don't use it? You climb up to the
fourth floor.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah, I never do that.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
You haven't seen the elevators?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Well, only like sometimes when I go down with you
when we're leaving. Oh, I say, that's about it. That's
the only time I see the elevator.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Oh, that's classic. You and Matt Muddy Smith he also
doesn't use the elevator.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Are a couple of people I run into in the stairwell,
and yeah, that's our exercise.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah. I sometimes am so lazy that if I'm in
the elevator, I have somebody else press the button for me.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Can you hit that? You're just waiting for somebody to
come in.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I'm exhausted. Can you hit that four for me. I'm exhausted,
all right, I Crozier, Angel, Stephush and Bellio. Great job everybody.
And you know what you guys are not. You're not losers.
Speaker 7 (22:57):
You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
We talk about Craig's Restaurant all the time on the air.
I've never been there, but I know Mark Thompson is
a regular, love it there. And and you know the
guy who runs a Greg Susser, right, he's terrific. I mean,
he's the reason that the place is so popular. All Right,
Craig is with us. Craig how you Wow, how'd you
get him?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
I don't know. I mean, gentleman, I am so thrilled
to be on the show. By the way, I was
going to point out the fact that you've never been there.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
You know, I always bust Alex Michaelson's balls because you
know he's a he's a regular at Craig's. And and
he said, no, you know, he goes to ihop and
Denny's as much as he goes to Craig's. And then
at the end of the conversation he said, oh, but
I really loved it. Brett at Craigs. I'm like, I
knew it. I knew it.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
Yeah, he's a Craig guy. By the way, I don't
know if you know it's it's nice to be in
with all of those other brands that you're talking about Craig, right,
and the Brett is special. And by the way, I
also get Johnny.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Ken So you wait, you get john going in there.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Of course I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
That's fantastic. Hey, how long has Craig's been around?
Speaker 5 (24:09):
All right, we're going on twelve and a half years,
coming up on thirteen.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Okay, by the way, I don't know if you know this, Greg,
but it is the Hollywood restaurant. I mean when people
talk about, you know, going to a restaurant where Hollywood
insiders go, it's always Craigs.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Well, okay, so it's a regular restaurant that happens to
have a lot of Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I've heard it described regulars. I've heard it described by
many people as the modern day Chasings. Is that true
or false?
Speaker 5 (24:39):
I will take that compliment every day.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Huge compliments refer to it. Yeah, huge compliment.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
I mean, I mean, if you're looking to start a restaurant.
You have no higher goal in Los Angeles than being
compared to a place like Chasing.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Wow. Okay, so are you old enough to remember going
to Chasin's like with your parents? No.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I I was a young waiter and we had heard
the Chasins was closing and we wanted to go, and
so we got all dressed up, we got in suits
and ties, you know, grabbed our dates, and we had
some money because we were young waiters, and we went
and it was an interesting experience because we were like, wow,
(25:22):
it feels like it's stuck thirty years ago. And they weren't.
They were like nice to us, but you know, we
were young, and you know whereas It taught me a
valuable lesson in that I want the older crowd, the
middle aged crowd, and the younger crowd, and I want
all of them to feel just as special as the
(25:42):
people that I've known for twelve years or the old
people like Mark that is.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Thank you, I heard it. I do think there's quite
a cross section. Tim You've got these young like Instagram
influencers who are excited to be at Craigs, and you
also have the sort of the people who are around
for a long time. I mean the older kids. It's
a really good little cross checktion. I all thought about
that way.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It's great. It's it's a great restaurant for really rich
people and a great restaurant for really really rich.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
People, and also for people. You know what, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
You got you gotta take that.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
If you're gonna deliver the punches, you gotta take that.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
Hey, you know you can come in, split a dish,
have a beer at a very a port ball to
knock it.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Off, split it. That's great. Hey, Craig, when you go
out to eat, where do you go?
Speaker 5 (26:35):
Uh? You know? We we love As a matter of fact,
last night my wife and I, Lisa, we went to
osenebo U, Japanese restaurant on Ventura in in in the Valley.
I do try to go to all the new restaurants
and show my support because I'm a big believer in
all of us in the restaurant business need to stick together.
And I think we learned that during COVID. So go
(26:56):
to catch catch steak. We just went to Funky a
little while ago that opened up in Beverly Hills. We've
been the mother wolf. We try to hit everything and
then we put it up on our social media to
support that's right. It's not a zero sum game, right,
It's not I win, you lose. It's people are going
out eating and they can't eat at the same place
(27:17):
every time.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
That's right, buddy. I think that's terrific. I love that.
You know, the people that I know that go to Craigs,
they they love it. Like Alex Michaelson talks about the bread,
Mark talks about the vegan dishes, but nobody has I've
never heard anyone said, you know, I went there and
I had a bad experience. And that's unusual for a restaurant,
because you know, somebody waiter us a bad night, or
(27:40):
somebody drops something. There's always an opportunity for a bad time.
But nobody, nobody really expresses that. So you must really
be hands on.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Thanks. It's how it's how you recover the errors. It's
not that anybody doesn't make sure right and then and
then also, I think we learned during COVID that that
social moment that happens when you walk in a room,
you say hello to a few friends and you're in
a room full of eighty ninety one hundred people, that's
the stuff we missed during COVID. That's the thing we
can't get from our phone or by watching something on TV.
(28:10):
And that's what happens in a restaurant.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
That's you know, it's funny, Tim, I was just gonna say.
The thing is beyond the food. There's an energy to
the place. It's really special, and that energy you only
have there, you know, And that's got nothing to do
with what you order on the menu.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
It's got to do with other stuff. Craig, what was
the restaurant that was there before you opened?
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Oh god, it was I think it was called Melrose
Bar and Grill. Okay, then it was Yeah, and then
it was doug Orengos, and then I think it was
a place called Alberto's from nineteen sixty five to two thousand.
I mean, the thing that I think we all are
now realizing in the restaurant business is, yes, it's food
and service, but it's also hospitality. It's also taking care
(28:49):
of people and remembering special things and making sure that
people feel comfortable. And my kids who are ten feel
just as comfortable there and other kids as you know,
the older and so it's it's finding out what's going
on in their lives and actively being a participant in it.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
When you say kids, do you have twins?
Speaker 5 (29:09):
I do? We have. We have ten and a half
year old twins, Gemma and Adrian and and you know, I.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Can't tell mind the names boys or girls, but one
in one oh, one and one okay, so they're not identical, all.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Right, Tim, But can be surprised on how many people
ask that question.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
That's great, Hey, you know what, You're running a high
end place when every time I've ever driven by Craigs,
there's always paparazzi out there. Always.
Speaker 5 (29:37):
Yeah. I mean that's a blessing and a curse. Whether
I wish there was something that we could do a
little bit about that, and we spend a lot of
time protecting people. So yes, it is good in that
it gives a place publicity, but it is unfortunate when
somebody's just looking to have dinner, sure and go home.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hey, and without without naming names, have you had to
throw a throw an aidless celebrity out of your restaurant?
Speaker 5 (30:00):
Uh? Have I ever? Yes? No, have I ever wanted to?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
What else are you working on? You got your are
you opening up anything else?
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:11):
So we you know, We've got a whole brand of
cashew based vegan ice creams that we sell in local
supermarkets at Bristol and Gelson's, Mark's a big fan of,
and then's Alund nationwide. And then we're going to be
opening up a second restaurant in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Oh that's cool, okay, Yeah, So.
Speaker 5 (30:28):
It's just it's time to kind of expand and and
and grow the brand. And and you know what time
do you open? Every day? We open at five o'clock
and the kitchen stays open till eleven eleven pm?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Okay, all right? And and do you do you need reservations?
How far in.
Speaker 5 (30:44):
Advance reservations are taking two weeks out? I would take
the early side of the late side, until you know,
obviously people get to know you, and then you know,
you start to become a regular. And that's really that's it. Okay,
not that difficult.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
If I came there with my my my wife and
my my beautiful wife, my beautiful daughter, could I could
I tape? Could I tip the waiter or waitress or
may er? D like I don't know, fifty bucks? To
not have paparazzi and people bother me.
Speaker 5 (31:14):
Let's just say, I could work that out for you,
but the problem is I'd have to give you marks tables.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Wait, are there celebrities tables? Is there a Tom Hanks table?
Speaker 5 (31:23):
No? No, there are people that have particular preferences, like inside, outside,
I know where certain people like to sit.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
But right, because in Chasin's they and Chasin's they used
the booths named after people.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Yeah, we try to stay away from that because what
happens if the two people call and they both have
their name on the booth, and what happens.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
When a person dies? Do you take the name off
the booth?
Speaker 5 (31:44):
I don't know exactly. Like, I'm not looking to cause
any issues, that's right.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
How big is the restaurant? What's the max capacity?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (31:51):
Inside seats ninety outside on the back patio seats eighty five.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Wow, that's huge.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
John, it's gotten, it's got, it's gotten really big. And
nice thing about the back patio is COVID was kind
of a blessing and the curse we lived through it.
We didn't lay anybody off and we ended up with
this big, beautiful patio on the outside.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Good for you, buddy, appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (32:11):
Coming on.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
We'll drag Conway and I gotta get out there.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Do you guys have please?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
But I gotta ask the question. The only way I really,
you know, try a restaurant initially is go through the
drive through. But you don't have.
Speaker 5 (32:22):
One but a drive by. I'll throw food, all.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Right, buddy, you're the best. You got a great sense
of humor for you know us busting your balls. You
got a very successful restaurant. I hope the the twins
still love you.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
You know, I love it. I appreciate it. Thanks for
your time. Mark, I'll see you, Tim. I'd better see
you all right.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
All right, thanks, Greg, really appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
All right.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Craig Craig Susser, who owns Craig the biggest restaurant, the
most popular US. I've tried to get you there several times.
Reason why I said this because age ten is when
kids start going to the room and closing the door
and it you know, you know, I hope that doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I'm just judging on social media relationship with his kid.
Beautiful family.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
But he's established, right, I think he's thirty five, sixty five.
He's in my wheelhouse. Yeah, he's established.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Tim. I will go with you and split a aluminum
foil wrapped baked potato.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Wow, you know, maybe I shouldn't drag but eat it
in the car. All right, let's go to Craigs. We're
live on KFI AM six forty
Tim Conway Jr. on Demand News
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