May 20, 2025 • 40 mins
Still feeling stuck after chasing confidence through books or events? Tune in as Karen Fabian, founder of Bare Bones Yoga, shares her practical 6-step confidence framework. In this powerful chat with Divya Parekh, you’ll learn how to build real confidence through simple daily practices.
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Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host DV Park. Do
you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you
want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Coming up on zvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have steps into discomfort,
shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.
You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving
your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward
does not have to happen at the expense of your
personal or family life or vice versa. Learn more at WWWA.
(01:00):
You don't divpork dot com and you can connect with
TV ants contact eds gvpark dot com. This is beyond
confidence and now here's your host, g w Park.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and excited to be here
with you. So it's it's just beautiful. And what I
want to share with you is that we have a
fabulous guest today and I'll be talking about the kind
(01:33):
of circle somewhere in the middle of our conversation and
so be on the lookout for that. And also I
want to thank each and every one of you who
have got our books Expert to Influencer, Entrepreneurs Gotten and
many others that I've written in co authored, so really
(01:57):
really appreciate you. For those of you who are still
waiting in the wings, please get the box and I
can guarantee you like you will get nuggets. Not only that,
but the profits help us out to help entrepreneurs all
across the globe through key a dot org. Malcolm Karen, thank.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
You so much. It's great to be.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Here, fantastic and to have you so tell us do
you recall a moment or a person from your youth
or childhood who have to pause.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
And mark on you? Oh, gosh, I mean, the people
that come to my mind are my mom and dad.
You probably get that answer a lot, but I can
definitely say, I mean, there are other teachers and influences
I've had in my life, but my mother and father
who are still alive. They're in their eighties and they're
(02:51):
doing great, so I still have, you know, many conversations
with them throughout the week. It's kind of funny because
a lot of my business development and my entrepreneurship comes
from my father, and my mother will say, oh, I
see so much of your father in you. And then
(03:11):
when I talk to my dad, I have a very
big creative side and that comes from my mother, and
he'll say, oh, I see so much of your mother
in you. So they see each other in me, and
I definitely when I reflect on my own background and
skills and superpowers, I can definitely connect it to them.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
So as even growing up, what dreams did you have, like,
you know, what did you want to become?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well, I can definitely say it was different than what
I'm doing, and what I'm doing is perfect. So I
just share that because I know a lot of times
people may grow up with a certain vision that might
not actually even be something that they want. It might
even be something that they believe they have to pursue
(04:07):
because of what they've been told or how they've been raised.
And for myself, I envisioned when I was younger, I
would go to college, I would get a good job,
I would get married, I would have a family, and
I would work in a job for somebody else, probably
for my whole life. And that is definitely not what
(04:29):
I'm doing. I did that for a while. I went
to college, I went to grad school. I did work
in both clinical health care and then corporate healthcare for
about twenty years. And then I went to a yoga
class in nineteen ninety nine and it changed my whole
(04:50):
perspective on what I was supposed to be doing in
the world. And while there's a lot that happened after
that yoga clas in nineteen ninety nine, what I do
now in the life I have now. I'm an entrepreneur.
I run my own business. I support people all over
the world with my teaching methodologies, and I would I'm
(05:15):
grateful for the path I've taken, and at the same time,
I would never go back to that other life. It's
in my memory but it definitely is not doesn't look
anything like the life I lead now.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Got it, So kind of let's revisit your time during
clinical and the corporate healthcare. So while you were working,
what would you say were some of the highlights of
your career that you enjoyed.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Well, I've always been deeply interested in medicine and the
body and movement and anatomy and all of the sciences.
I was always very interested in that, and I originally
thought I wanted to be a physical therapist. So when
I went to undergraduate at Boston University I live in Boston,
(06:09):
that's what I studied. And along the way, I decided,
I don't think I want to just work with people's limbs.
I think I want to work with the whole person.
And so my initial clinical experiences were working in hospitals
and rehabilitation centers as a social worker, a rehab counselor
a discharge planner. And I loved that. I really thought
(06:30):
that was my path, helping people who were injured or ill,
helping them reach a higher potential. And I ended up
getting recruited to work on the business side of healthcare,
and I was really good at it. I was very organized.
I could present well, I could sell stuff. I understood software.
(06:52):
So I worked my way up the corporate ladder in
a consulting firm, and I enjoyed that. I really enjoyed
managing a team. I enjoyed helping, you know, businesses reach
their goals. I enjoyed the presentation side of things. The
(07:15):
one thing that was missing, though, is I didn't always
feel aligned with the goal of the company. And that
was something that I really aspired to, but I didn't
quite know how to. Did I just need to switch
a job? What? What was What was my path to
find that alignment?
Speaker 4 (07:36):
So this is a tough question, you know, So what
if question? What if you knew what you're doing right now,
do you think you would have left the corporate life
earlier than when you left?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I I don't, I don't know. I mean I probably
would have. I don't don't know if that's the answer
you expected, but I probably would have.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
It.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Really, the spark that really lit the flame was going
to a yoga class. I had never gone to a
yoga class before, and because of my medical background, my
clinical experiences, my experiences on the business side of healthcare,
when I went to take a yoga class. It was
this perfect blend of all these different things I had done,
(08:28):
but for that class I probably didn't even I mean,
this was nineteen ninety nine when yoga was not as
popular as it is in the United States, and I
really had just experiences in the gym, and so when
I saw this person teaching this yoga class and I
saw it was this whole blend of movement and psychology
(08:49):
and empowerment and confidence building, I thought, this is what
I want to do. And honestly, if I had been
exposed to that earlier, probably would have left earlier.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
So that is a very insightful statement. There's so many
clients who kind of come to me as I do
leadership and executive coaching. They will say that they want compensation.
A lot of millennials and gen zs. Gen Zs are
quite a bit of self starters. They want compensation and
(09:28):
they want meaning as well, because they're very much a
line like, you know, I've got everything, I've risen to
the letter in the management, but I'm finding that something
is lacking. What would you tell those millennials and gen
zs how to blend the two.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah, well, I can approach it from the practical day
to day and I can approach it from sort of
the spiritual or part centered approach. Let's start with the
spiritual or heart centered approach. I think it's important for
people to identify what their vision is for their life,
(10:13):
and that's usually connected to their values. And it's difficult
sometimes to feel connected to a company's mission if you
don't actually know yourself what's important to you, what are
things that you value, what are and in those values
that helps define who you are. The other piece of that, though,
(10:33):
is spending time to think about what kind of impact
do I want to have in the world. And a
lot of times we get caught up in the day
to day and we lose sight of, you know, kind
of the Stephen Covey begin at the end in mind
kind of mindset. So that's one part. The other thing
I think about, especially for the kind of person you're describing,
(10:55):
is is there when you do that work and you
identify maybe some difference between what you're doing now and
what you want to do, is there a way that
you can start to feed that part of you while
you're working your full time job, to start to experiment
with feeding that part of you that wants something different,
(11:18):
rather than thinking I need to completely quit the lifestyle
I'm in and completely shift to this other lifestyle. There's
a lot to be said from a practical standpoint, but
even from a spiritual, heart centered standpoint to experimenting on
the side with something else and keep the full time
(11:40):
gig going. Yeah, oh, I can't hear what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
That's definitely very powerful because what happens is I've seen
a lot of my clients kind of just got caught
in the moment of passion and purpose, you know, that's
what they think, and when they go and when the
reality hits, it's it's a hot and a bitter pill
to swallow. So starting something on the side and experimenting
(12:14):
with it makes so much easier to explore and not
have that pressure. Because if you just jump all in,
nothing wrong with jumping in. I mean there's no right
or wrong. People can go whatever works for you as
long as as you mentioned right, you're aligned with your
values and you're willing to do what it takes. If
you make an informed decision, it takes the pressure off
(12:38):
because now you're so aligned with your why that the
what and how don't matter. So yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Was just going to add one little piece too. It
sparked from what you said. A lot of times people
have this vision of what they think they want to do,
and until the experiment with it on the side, they
don't realize, you know what, this isn't quite it. So
that's just another advantage to trying something out rather than
ripping the band aid off and going to test out.
(13:06):
Is this really a good fit for me?
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Absolutely, because recently I have to share this story about
this young gentleman. He did very well financially, you know,
at a very secure place, and now he doesn't have
the freedom to do what he wants to do because
he's in the leadership position and you've got to like
account for the finances and all that. And then he
(13:31):
decided to go to a startup. But now he's used
to making decisions right, and in the startup he was
being driven by somebody else in his life. Yeah, gosh,
what did I end up doing? And that's exactly like
going back to the point that you shared, is like,
you know you're not going to know, Yeah, grass is
(13:54):
always green on the other side, So experimentation is so powerful. Now,
what would you tell people and they have these doubts
whether they're in the right job, whether they're in the
right path.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
And then, well, what I've found in working with people
I work with my primary area of expertise is training
yoga teachers in a very specific way. The focus is
helping them build their confidence, and that's a blend of
skill based methodology and mindset, and this sort of thing
(14:31):
comes up a lot in the context of that. What
I've found in working with people, and this even harkens
back to when I worked as a social worker and
reob counselor, is the beliefs that we have about ourselves
often drive the doubts we have. And oftentimes the beliefs
we have about ourselves aren't necessarily something that we created.
(14:52):
It's something that was borne out of maybe a negative
experience we had or something we were told. And so
in a way, there's sort of a reclaiming of your
power that becomes possible when you conquer a self doubt.
It takes though self inquiry and introspection, and really I
(15:16):
find working with someone because when anyone has self doubt,
it's sort of this cycle of thinking and acting and
being that is hard to break unless you have someone else,
not even giving advice or sharing perspective. It's not that
(15:37):
it's about someone else asking you questions about how you're
viewing yourself in the world, and without that outside voice,
it can be very difficult to break the cycle. It's
almost like on a neuroscience level, there's like this sort
(15:57):
of loop, this neural pathway that it's just ingrained in
your brain. And that's why for myself and my own
personal growth, I've had the biggest advances or breakthroughs when
I've worked with a coach because it's someone else to
ask me questions about how I'm operating in the world.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Well, that is so true, and you're absolutely right on that,
because that's the first thing. Like when I took my
first coaching class, Angela, like you know, my teacher first class,
and she said that, like, listen, just because you're going
to become a coach doesn't mean that you don't need growth,
(16:43):
that you don't need guidance, Like you have blind spots today,
you'll have blind spots thirty years down the road. And
so I took that too, Hart And even today I've
got my own coaches because who'll set me straight? So
it's not just important to have somebody who's going to question,
but it's also about somebody challenging you because, as you mentioned,
(17:04):
with the brain, right like, we get so caught up
in the comfort zone that we don't want to knock
on the door of discomfort and brain loves to avoid
the pain. So we talk about six part framework for
building continents. Do share?
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Yes. So over the years, when I've been working with
against primarily yoga teachers in my program, I've found that
there are different patterns of thinking, different common belief structures
that people have. And most of the people I work
with are women, and most of them are i would say,
between the ages of maybe thirty five and sixty five,
(17:44):
So just to kind of give you, give you an
age and kind of an avatar of sorts. And the
interesting thing is a lot of the challenges that they
face really aren't necessarily just about teaching yoga. It's something
about teaching yoga that brings out these limiting beliefs. So
earlier this year I set down and I thought, there's
(18:05):
a common thread here that I'm finding and working with
people that really transcends the yoga teaching and really is more,
as you're saying, a confidence framework of sorts. So I
started to create and here's what I came up with.
If the idea is to move through your life feeling
(18:27):
more confident, what I've found is there's a number of
different practices that you can integrate into your life to
begin to build and boost your confidence. And I call
it a practice because it really is a practice, because
every day we might have something that triggers us into
feeling less than or feeling like we can't do something.
(18:47):
So it really is just like a yoga practice. It's
a confidence practice that we're practicing every day to be
the kind of person who fill in the blank. So
the first part is having some sort of daily yoga
or movement practice. And I'm not going to say it
has to be yoga. It could be anything. It could
be going for a walk every day. There's so much,
(19:07):
and I can go into it, but we probably don't
have time. There's so much from the perspective of what
happens in the body on an endercin level, a cardiovascular level,
so many different systems of the body benefit from daily
exercise and that affects our mood. So if I want
to be the kind of person who is more confident,
(19:29):
I must have some sort of daily movement practice not
only to affect my inner biology, but also to affect
my perception of myself, which is part of how I feel.
So yoga or daily movement is one. Number two is
experimenting and giving yourself daily challenges. This has to do
(19:50):
with what you're saying before these doubts, bumping up against
these doubts. So let's say you're the kind of person
who never thinks she could go to a movie by
yourself or go out to dinner by yourself. But there's
a brand new movie and you can't find anybody to
go with you, and you say to yourself, you know what,
I'm going to go to this movie by myself, and
I don't care that it's something I don't typically do.
(20:12):
That's an experiment and an experimenting. We bump up against
these beliefs and we challenge them in real life with
real experimentation and see what the outcome is. It's not
to say we have to have it be a great experience,
but just in the act of doing it, we start
to chip away and dismantle those beliefs. Number three is
(20:33):
self inquiry. Being the kind of person who's curious all
of what we're talking about. When you were mentioning before,
you know, kind of these neural pathways and the brain
likes comfort. That's the sort of thing, especially if you
want to feel more confident, that can hold you back.
So having a sense of self inquiry where you're naturally
(20:53):
curious about what would be possible if I fill in
the blank. Number four is meditation. And I know people
are going to hear this and say, I can't meditate.
My brain's too busy. So if the word triggers.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
You, that's very true. As we kind of continue the conversation,
I'm going to kind of take a stop there and
ask you. You said that meditation I can do it,
and I hear that from so many different people. What's
your you said, like experimentation and self inquiry? What would
(21:31):
you like, you know, guide them, what would you tell
them like, you know, even if it is like faminutes
or some tricks of the trade that would help our audience.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yeah, So I would say limiting the time is probably
the best thing you can do if the concept concerns you,
alarms you, doesn't brings up thoughts that you can't do it.
So meditation Number one doesn't need to be something that's
twenty minutes. It could be ten deep breaths. If the
(22:01):
word is something you associate with something you can't do.
What if you went for a walk without your phone,
Like what if you drove home from work without any
podcast on in the car, any music or anything. Like
what if you lay in bed and the first moment
you open your eyes, you just noticed your body. There's
(22:24):
other context for meditation that don't have to match that
person sitting cross legged for twenty minutes. It's a place, yeah,
place to start. It's a pose to start.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
And so what I'm hearing is at finding that silence
because I'll share it to you. Usually I do take
my phone with me. I make a point and not
look at anything. But sometimes if it call comes through,
or if it's the time, you know, I kind of
break it out. I break off my walk into like
segments that, Okay, there are friends, like sometimes you just
(23:00):
don't have time to catch up with so you know
that time you kind of catch up with them, and
then twenty twenty five minutes is to just commune with nature.
So one day it just so happened, like driving my
car and it says that oh, we cannot connect your phone.
I'm like, huh, what happened? Why it's not connecting? And
(23:20):
then it struck me, oh, I don't have my phone
with me, So it was my first instinct. It's amazing,
like even though I'm an evid meditator for multiple, multiple years,
and still my first instinct how our brains are trained,
was like, oh, let me go back and get my phone.
(23:42):
And then I said, you know what, this is such
a good experiment. I'm just going to go yeah, And
it was very interesting to see how many times, like
you know, as I'm walking, like it has just become
a habit, you just kind of check whether the phone
is in your pocket or like but you know, the
(24:02):
I don't know what is it called that the belt
or the little pocket thing that you kind of put
it on your waist when you're going out with you
to put in your phone and your keys and all
of that. So that was very interesting and now I
just kind of do it. I do have the phone,
I leave it in the car and sometimes I'll take it,
(24:24):
but I make a point not to just touch it.
And it's amazing how we can train our brain and
become comfortable with it.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Yeah, I think you know. Again, as a yoga teacher,
I can say silence is probably one of the most
powerful spaces for people to be in. From a nervous
system standpoint, We're constantly stimulated with so much noise and
so much stuff that to simply be in silence is
(24:54):
for so many people something they very rarely experience. And
whether it's by half instance, like what you describe, or
whether it's something that maybe they don't have control over,
like they're sitting in a waiting room in the doctor's office,
or they come to a yoga class and the teacher's
not using music and there's a few minutes before class
where the room is quiet. It can have such a
(25:15):
profound effect on the nervous system on the body simply
because there it's just so different from what people typically experience.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
That is true, And I like what you're saying, is
that just kind of experimenting, even if it is one minute,
and sometimes it's so important to have that silence and
taking that pause because that pause can help your brain
to reset. And that's a practice that I do myself,
(25:57):
like you know, throughout the day, if I can at
the top of the hour or like whenever're like, you know, okay,
if I'm in the flow, I do it, but then
take a break and just kind of unplug. So working
on it throughout the day. So tell us one of
the remaining.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Yeah, so number five, there's two more, number five.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
And is very quick check like you could you kind
of check like your mic is just having a lot of.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Distributed Okay, yeah, I haven't better. Okay, that better? Uh yeah,
so there's two more.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Number five is one of my favorite ones visualization. You know,
when we were little kids, we would dream all the time.
Matter of fact, I can distinctly remember when I was little,
I wanted this doll, and I used to go for
a walk every day to the candy store and I
used to, uh think really hard in my mind. If
I think hard enough, when I go around the corner
(27:01):
to the store, the dolls going to be there. I
just thought I had this superpower that I could will
this item into the three D. You know, when we
grow up, we don't do that anymore. But yet, when
we were talking earlier about changing jobs and what we
want in our life, starting that as a visualization is
(27:22):
a way that we can start to bring that to
life and start to materialize. What are the steps we
need to take. When you watch any world class athlete,
what do they always say when they win the thing?
They always say, I saw this in my mind. I
saw myself doing this. I mean there's so many examples,
not just athletes, but so many examples of people who
excel and they speak about that in those moments of
(27:45):
right after the win or whatever it is, I saw this.
So visualization super important. And then number six, the last
one is healthy habits. And I know people are just
going to think, oh, die in an exercise, and to
a certain extent, yes, but there's so many other things
we can do throughout our day that allow us to
(28:05):
build almost like the infrastructure of someone who is living
in a healthy way. And a lot of what we've
talked about here, I mean, if we just and this
is speaking for myself, not as giving advice or anything,
but just these ideas of movement, every day experimenting, having
a mind that's open and curious to self inquiry, daily
(28:27):
meditation or being in silence, visualization, and healthy habits that
are meaningful to you that would build a sense of
self worth, self value, and with that comes confidence. I
am confident as I move through the world, because I
have created this lattice work of steps that I take,
(28:49):
of ways that I operate that allows me to tap
into this empowered way of being.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
Absolutely some very wonderful nuggets over there, Karen. So now
there may be a new mom, there may be a
busy executive, there may be a busy entrepreneur, and they
may say that Karen and Dvia, you know, this is
all val and good what you're talking about, But what
(29:19):
if I only have twenty minutes time or not even
that much time during every day? What if I'm working
thirteen forteen hours or you know, there are a lot
of circumstances when people don't have time. So what would you.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Tell that.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
Person, like, you know, what infrastructure could they build in
that limited time and the constraints?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yeah, so you know, even even in our busyness, so
even the busy mom, the busy executive, there's an approach
to doing that can be infused with a lot of
the themes we're talking about here. So you know, I
can even again speaking for myself, on days where I
(30:02):
have a lot of things going on, I can wake
up in the morning and just throw myself at all
those things and by the end of the day completely collapse.
Or I can wake up in the morning, see I
have a full schedule and move through the day in
a mindful way that almost in a way prioritizes my
(30:23):
energy in service to all the things I need to do.
Now I can certainly say I have done both things,
and I definitely on the days that I do the latter,
I get to the end of the day and I
feel fulfilled instead of depleted. So that's just from a
high level something I can suggest. I mean mindfulness. We
(30:45):
haven't really talked about that in particular, but that is
a way of being that infuses all that we do,
and it allows us to move through our day without
constantly feeling like we're frantic and we're just running out
of energy. There's a way to do it, but it's really,
(31:07):
at its most basic, it's really just awareness being aware.
You know, I think about that busy executive. I was
that busy executive at one point. I can sit with
my laptop wolfing down my lunch, or I can take
ten minutes, turn off my laptop and eat my lunch mindfully.
Like that's just one small example. The only other thing
(31:28):
I'll say is even though we're talking about these things
and it might sound like it's a lot of time,
it's really not a lot of time. When you start
to build these things into your life, that's how something
becomes a lifestyle, not just a habit on its own.
So if I wake up in the morning and I
(31:49):
do a little meditation or visualization that takes two minutes,
and the more I do it, the more it becomes
part of my life. So now I'm not looking at
things saying I don't have the time. I'm looking at
things and saying I've integrated these things into my life
because that's the kind of person I am. And that's
(32:11):
how we shift our identity.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
M So bringing awareness into what you're doing. And when
you bring the awareness, then it's not that like, oh,
you're passing through the life. What you're doing is in
service of rather So for example, you may be you know,
it may be busy that oh I don't get to sleep,
verses I'm blessed if you're talking about the mom I'm
(32:37):
blessed to have my child and being grateful about the
blessings that you have. And similarly, like if you're an
executive or if you're a professional or entrepreneur that at
the end of the day, what I'm doing is going
to benefit someone. My input could be the output for someone,
(32:57):
and then that's being in service really really hits home.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Yeah, And I mean there's even science around gratitude and
tapping into gratitude and how that affects our cardiovascular system,
our underconsistem And at the same time, I don't want
people to hear that and think I don't even have
time to be grateful, or of course I'm grateful that
I have a baby, how is this going to help me?
(33:23):
So I totally support anything any of us can do
to tap into gratitude. And at the same time, I
also appreciate that people are stressed, people are tapped out,
people are super busy. I do think about moms a
lot because I think being a mother, especially if you're
(33:45):
a mother that works, but even if you're a mother
that stays home, that's a very unique role where you're
always putting yourself second or third or fourth, depending on
how many kids you have. So it's not just about
the rose colored glass, approaching on rose colored glasses and
saying I just need to walk around and be grateful.
It really does though, start with having an honest conversation
(34:08):
with yourself about what's missing, what kind of life do
I want to lead? What kind of things do I value?
And starting with something I mean. One of the things
I talk about a lot with the women that I
work with in my program is the magic of momentum.
When we start to do something, it could just be
(34:29):
one thing, we start to build momentum. And when we
build momentum, we feel like we're making progress. And when
we feel like we're making progress, we tend to stick
with whatever it is we're doing. And that is why
it is magic. It just takes that one or two
step process to get started, and pretty soon you know,
(34:49):
we can start to change absolutely.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
And self inquiry is the key that annoying you know
what you want, and when you're bringing that awareness, it
also kind of tells you. Like so one of the stories,
like you know, one of my client moms like a
mom client, or like you know, she was an executive
and she was like, I'll ever get meantime. It's like
(35:17):
I'm always putting everybody first and never get me time.
So then as you started out, like you know, talking
about values, when we talked about values, right, there on
the top of the list were her kids and her
husband and her work. So then it was when she
(35:38):
aligned with her value, she was able to see that
the time she was spending with them was her may time.
It's and that's the definition, like you know, like you
were talking about the rose colored classes, it's it's about
being very clear, having that clarity, that bringing that awareness
that meatime just doesn't have to be like, you know,
a two hours spend by myself. It can be in
(36:01):
the moment when you are in that moment, and when
you're experiencing life. To mean, that's the best gratitude that
you can have, because you're not passing through life, you're
living your life.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yeah, very much.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
So.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
I mean, similarly, I've worked with women who want to
enroll in my program and then they'll say, oh, but
I can't spend the money on myself because I could
otherwise be doing something for my kids. And so while yes,
I see that, I also ask them, you know, well,
(36:35):
if you were to do this thing, how would that
would that help you in some way be better for
your kids? And for a lot of these women, the
fact that they haven't really invested in themselves from a
time or some other perspective for a long time to
(36:56):
think about doing that actually helps them realize that it
would make them better for their family because now they're
feeding a part of them that maybe hasn't been tended
to for a long time.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
Absolutely, because now it's building them up. And it goes
back to I think so one of those Zen stories
that when your cup is full, then you can pour
for somebody else, but if your cup is empty, you
can pour from it. So invessing on oneself is such
a powerful thing, and that goes back again to finding
(37:34):
your values and finding even that twenty twenty five minutes
of time or even fifteen minutes of your time, and
then once you get started, you have the momentum. So
do how can people connect with you? Where can they
reach you?
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah? So my website is bearbones Yoga dot com, just
like it sounds, barebones yoga dot com. I'm on both
TikTok and Instagram same thing and bare bones Yoga, and
I do have a podcast, and of course most of
my content is directed towards yoga teachers. So if someone
is watching listening that is a yoga teacher, you're going
(38:12):
to find a lot there for you and At the
same time, a lot of what I share is about
mindset and confidence and personal development, so there's always content
there as well for people who are not yoga teachers.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Would you like to share any last tasks with her audience?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
I guess the final thing I would say is to
believe in yourself really starts on the inside and has
nothing to do with anything you're seeing or comparing yourself
to anybody else, And that we all have such amazing
potential and tapping into it really is our birthright is
(38:58):
to be out there in the world in as bold
and as confident a way as we can be. That is,
you don't need anybody's permission to do that. That is
one hundred percent absolutely what you were born to do.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Thank you so much, Karen, Thank you everyone for joining,
and thank you on for the making the show technically
possible be veiled.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Thank you the lost time, Thank you, thank you for
being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host d V Park,
we hope you have learned more about how to start
living the life you want. Each week on Beyond Confidence,
you hear stories of real people who've experienced growth by
overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence,
(39:43):
Dvpark shares what happened to her when she stepped out
of her comfort zone to work directly with people across
the globe. She not only coaches people how to form
hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships
as they strive to live the life they want. If
you are ready to live the life you want and
leverage your strengths, learn more at www dotwpark dot com
(40:06):
and you can connect with w at contact at dwpark
dot com. We look forward to you're joining us next week.
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host DV Park. Do
you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you
want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Coming up on zvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have steps into discomfort,
shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.
You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving
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(01:00):
You don't divpork dot com and you can connect with
TV ants contact eds gvpark dot com. This is beyond
confidence and now here's your host, g w Park.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and excited to be here
with you. So it's it's just beautiful. And what I
want to share with you is that we have a
fabulous guest today and I'll be talking about the kind
(01:33):
of circle somewhere in the middle of our conversation and
so be on the lookout for that. And also I
want to thank each and every one of you who
have got our books Expert to Influencer, Entrepreneurs Gotten and
many others that I've written in co authored, so really
(01:57):
really appreciate you. For those of you who are still
waiting in the wings, please get the box and I
can guarantee you like you will get nuggets. Not only that,
but the profits help us out to help entrepreneurs all
across the globe through key a dot org. Malcolm Karen, thank.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
You so much. It's great to be.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Here, fantastic and to have you so tell us do
you recall a moment or a person from your youth
or childhood who have to pause.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
And mark on you? Oh, gosh, I mean, the people
that come to my mind are my mom and dad.
You probably get that answer a lot, but I can
definitely say, I mean, there are other teachers and influences
I've had in my life, but my mother and father
who are still alive. They're in their eighties and they're
(02:51):
doing great, so I still have, you know, many conversations
with them throughout the week. It's kind of funny because
a lot of my business development and my entrepreneurship comes
from my father, and my mother will say, oh, I
see so much of your father in you. And then
(03:11):
when I talk to my dad, I have a very
big creative side and that comes from my mother, and
he'll say, oh, I see so much of your mother
in you. So they see each other in me, and
I definitely when I reflect on my own background and
skills and superpowers, I can definitely connect it to them.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
So as even growing up, what dreams did you have, like,
you know, what did you want to become?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well, I can definitely say it was different than what
I'm doing, and what I'm doing is perfect. So I
just share that because I know a lot of times
people may grow up with a certain vision that might
not actually even be something that they want. It might
even be something that they believe they have to pursue
(04:07):
because of what they've been told or how they've been raised.
And for myself, I envisioned when I was younger, I
would go to college, I would get a good job,
I would get married, I would have a family, and
I would work in a job for somebody else, probably
for my whole life. And that is definitely not what
(04:29):
I'm doing. I did that for a while. I went
to college, I went to grad school. I did work
in both clinical health care and then corporate healthcare for
about twenty years. And then I went to a yoga
class in nineteen ninety nine and it changed my whole
(04:50):
perspective on what I was supposed to be doing in
the world. And while there's a lot that happened after
that yoga clas in nineteen ninety nine, what I do
now in the life I have now. I'm an entrepreneur.
I run my own business. I support people all over
the world with my teaching methodologies, and I would I'm
(05:15):
grateful for the path I've taken, and at the same time,
I would never go back to that other life. It's
in my memory but it definitely is not doesn't look
anything like the life I lead now.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Got it, So kind of let's revisit your time during
clinical and the corporate healthcare. So while you were working,
what would you say were some of the highlights of
your career that you enjoyed.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Well, I've always been deeply interested in medicine and the
body and movement and anatomy and all of the sciences.
I was always very interested in that, and I originally
thought I wanted to be a physical therapist. So when
I went to undergraduate at Boston University I live in Boston,
(06:09):
that's what I studied. And along the way, I decided,
I don't think I want to just work with people's limbs.
I think I want to work with the whole person.
And so my initial clinical experiences were working in hospitals
and rehabilitation centers as a social worker, a rehab counselor
a discharge planner. And I loved that. I really thought
(06:30):
that was my path, helping people who were injured or ill,
helping them reach a higher potential. And I ended up
getting recruited to work on the business side of healthcare,
and I was really good at it. I was very organized.
I could present well, I could sell stuff. I understood software.
(06:52):
So I worked my way up the corporate ladder in
a consulting firm, and I enjoyed that. I really enjoyed
managing a team. I enjoyed helping, you know, businesses reach
their goals. I enjoyed the presentation side of things. The
(07:15):
one thing that was missing, though, is I didn't always
feel aligned with the goal of the company. And that
was something that I really aspired to, but I didn't
quite know how to. Did I just need to switch
a job? What? What was What was my path to
find that alignment?
Speaker 4 (07:36):
So this is a tough question, you know, So what
if question? What if you knew what you're doing right now,
do you think you would have left the corporate life
earlier than when you left?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I I don't, I don't know. I mean I probably
would have. I don't don't know if that's the answer
you expected, but I probably would have.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
It.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Really, the spark that really lit the flame was going
to a yoga class. I had never gone to a
yoga class before, and because of my medical background, my
clinical experiences, my experiences on the business side of healthcare,
when I went to take a yoga class. It was
this perfect blend of all these different things I had done,
(08:28):
but for that class I probably didn't even I mean,
this was nineteen ninety nine when yoga was not as
popular as it is in the United States, and I
really had just experiences in the gym, and so when
I saw this person teaching this yoga class and I
saw it was this whole blend of movement and psychology
(08:49):
and empowerment and confidence building, I thought, this is what
I want to do. And honestly, if I had been
exposed to that earlier, probably would have left earlier.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
So that is a very insightful statement. There's so many
clients who kind of come to me as I do
leadership and executive coaching. They will say that they want compensation.
A lot of millennials and gen zs. Gen Zs are
quite a bit of self starters. They want compensation and
(09:28):
they want meaning as well, because they're very much a
line like, you know, I've got everything, I've risen to
the letter in the management, but I'm finding that something
is lacking. What would you tell those millennials and gen
zs how to blend the two.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah, well, I can approach it from the practical day
to day and I can approach it from sort of
the spiritual or part centered approach. Let's start with the
spiritual or heart centered approach. I think it's important for
people to identify what their vision is for their life,
(10:13):
and that's usually connected to their values. And it's difficult
sometimes to feel connected to a company's mission if you
don't actually know yourself what's important to you, what are
things that you value, what are and in those values
that helps define who you are. The other piece of that, though,
(10:33):
is spending time to think about what kind of impact
do I want to have in the world. And a
lot of times we get caught up in the day
to day and we lose sight of, you know, kind
of the Stephen Covey begin at the end in mind
kind of mindset. So that's one part. The other thing
I think about, especially for the kind of person you're describing,
(10:55):
is is there when you do that work and you
identify maybe some difference between what you're doing now and
what you want to do, is there a way that
you can start to feed that part of you while
you're working your full time job, to start to experiment
with feeding that part of you that wants something different,
(11:18):
rather than thinking I need to completely quit the lifestyle
I'm in and completely shift to this other lifestyle. There's
a lot to be said from a practical standpoint, but
even from a spiritual, heart centered standpoint to experimenting on
the side with something else and keep the full time
(11:40):
gig going. Yeah, oh, I can't hear what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
That's definitely very powerful because what happens is I've seen
a lot of my clients kind of just got caught
in the moment of passion and purpose, you know, that's
what they think, and when they go and when the
reality hits, it's it's a hot and a bitter pill
to swallow. So starting something on the side and experimenting
(12:14):
with it makes so much easier to explore and not
have that pressure. Because if you just jump all in,
nothing wrong with jumping in. I mean there's no right
or wrong. People can go whatever works for you as
long as as you mentioned right, you're aligned with your
values and you're willing to do what it takes. If
you make an informed decision, it takes the pressure off
(12:38):
because now you're so aligned with your why that the
what and how don't matter. So yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Was just going to add one little piece too. It
sparked from what you said. A lot of times people
have this vision of what they think they want to do,
and until the experiment with it on the side, they
don't realize, you know what, this isn't quite it. So
that's just another advantage to trying something out rather than
ripping the band aid off and going to test out.
(13:06):
Is this really a good fit for me?
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Absolutely, because recently I have to share this story about
this young gentleman. He did very well financially, you know,
at a very secure place, and now he doesn't have
the freedom to do what he wants to do because
he's in the leadership position and you've got to like
account for the finances and all that. And then he
(13:31):
decided to go to a startup. But now he's used
to making decisions right, and in the startup he was
being driven by somebody else in his life. Yeah, gosh,
what did I end up doing? And that's exactly like
going back to the point that you shared, is like,
you know you're not going to know, Yeah, grass is
(13:54):
always green on the other side, So experimentation is so powerful. Now,
what would you tell people and they have these doubts
whether they're in the right job, whether they're in the
right path.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
And then, well, what I've found in working with people
I work with my primary area of expertise is training
yoga teachers in a very specific way. The focus is
helping them build their confidence, and that's a blend of
skill based methodology and mindset, and this sort of thing
(14:31):
comes up a lot in the context of that. What
I've found in working with people, and this even harkens
back to when I worked as a social worker and
reob counselor, is the beliefs that we have about ourselves
often drive the doubts we have. And oftentimes the beliefs
we have about ourselves aren't necessarily something that we created.
(14:52):
It's something that was borne out of maybe a negative
experience we had or something we were told. And so
in a way, there's sort of a reclaiming of your
power that becomes possible when you conquer a self doubt.
It takes though self inquiry and introspection, and really I
(15:16):
find working with someone because when anyone has self doubt,
it's sort of this cycle of thinking and acting and
being that is hard to break unless you have someone else,
not even giving advice or sharing perspective. It's not that
(15:37):
it's about someone else asking you questions about how you're
viewing yourself in the world, and without that outside voice,
it can be very difficult to break the cycle. It's
almost like on a neuroscience level, there's like this sort
(15:57):
of loop, this neural pathway that it's just ingrained in
your brain. And that's why for myself and my own
personal growth, I've had the biggest advances or breakthroughs when
I've worked with a coach because it's someone else to
ask me questions about how I'm operating in the world.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Well, that is so true, and you're absolutely right on that,
because that's the first thing. Like when I took my
first coaching class, Angela, like you know, my teacher first class,
and she said that, like, listen, just because you're going
to become a coach doesn't mean that you don't need growth,
(16:43):
that you don't need guidance, Like you have blind spots today,
you'll have blind spots thirty years down the road. And
so I took that too, Hart And even today I've
got my own coaches because who'll set me straight? So
it's not just important to have somebody who's going to question,
but it's also about somebody challenging you because, as you mentioned,
(17:04):
with the brain, right like, we get so caught up
in the comfort zone that we don't want to knock
on the door of discomfort and brain loves to avoid
the pain. So we talk about six part framework for
building continents. Do share?
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Yes. So over the years, when I've been working with
against primarily yoga teachers in my program, I've found that
there are different patterns of thinking, different common belief structures
that people have. And most of the people I work
with are women, and most of them are i would say,
between the ages of maybe thirty five and sixty five,
(17:44):
So just to kind of give you, give you an
age and kind of an avatar of sorts. And the
interesting thing is a lot of the challenges that they
face really aren't necessarily just about teaching yoga. It's something
about teaching yoga that brings out these limiting beliefs. So
earlier this year I set down and I thought, there's
(18:05):
a common thread here that I'm finding and working with
people that really transcends the yoga teaching and really is more,
as you're saying, a confidence framework of sorts. So I
started to create and here's what I came up with.
If the idea is to move through your life feeling
(18:27):
more confident, what I've found is there's a number of
different practices that you can integrate into your life to
begin to build and boost your confidence. And I call
it a practice because it really is a practice, because
every day we might have something that triggers us into
feeling less than or feeling like we can't do something.
(18:47):
So it really is just like a yoga practice. It's
a confidence practice that we're practicing every day to be
the kind of person who fill in the blank. So
the first part is having some sort of daily yoga
or movement practice. And I'm not going to say it
has to be yoga. It could be anything. It could
be going for a walk every day. There's so much,
(19:07):
and I can go into it, but we probably don't
have time. There's so much from the perspective of what
happens in the body on an endercin level, a cardiovascular level,
so many different systems of the body benefit from daily
exercise and that affects our mood. So if I want
to be the kind of person who is more confident,
(19:29):
I must have some sort of daily movement practice not
only to affect my inner biology, but also to affect
my perception of myself, which is part of how I feel.
So yoga or daily movement is one. Number two is
experimenting and giving yourself daily challenges. This has to do
(19:50):
with what you're saying before these doubts, bumping up against
these doubts. So let's say you're the kind of person
who never thinks she could go to a movie by
yourself or go out to dinner by yourself. But there's
a brand new movie and you can't find anybody to
go with you, and you say to yourself, you know what,
I'm going to go to this movie by myself, and
I don't care that it's something I don't typically do.
(20:12):
That's an experiment and an experimenting. We bump up against
these beliefs and we challenge them in real life with
real experimentation and see what the outcome is. It's not
to say we have to have it be a great experience,
but just in the act of doing it, we start
to chip away and dismantle those beliefs. Number three is
(20:33):
self inquiry. Being the kind of person who's curious all
of what we're talking about. When you were mentioning before,
you know, kind of these neural pathways and the brain
likes comfort. That's the sort of thing, especially if you
want to feel more confident, that can hold you back.
So having a sense of self inquiry where you're naturally
(20:53):
curious about what would be possible if I fill in
the blank. Number four is meditation. And I know people
are going to hear this and say, I can't meditate.
My brain's too busy. So if the word triggers.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
You, that's very true. As we kind of continue the conversation,
I'm going to kind of take a stop there and
ask you. You said that meditation I can do it,
and I hear that from so many different people. What's
your you said, like experimentation and self inquiry? What would
(21:31):
you like, you know, guide them, what would you tell
them like, you know, even if it is like faminutes
or some tricks of the trade that would help our audience.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yeah, So I would say limiting the time is probably
the best thing you can do if the concept concerns you,
alarms you, doesn't brings up thoughts that you can't do it.
So meditation Number one doesn't need to be something that's
twenty minutes. It could be ten deep breaths. If the
(22:01):
word is something you associate with something you can't do.
What if you went for a walk without your phone,
Like what if you drove home from work without any
podcast on in the car, any music or anything. Like
what if you lay in bed and the first moment
you open your eyes, you just noticed your body. There's
(22:24):
other context for meditation that don't have to match that
person sitting cross legged for twenty minutes. It's a place, yeah,
place to start. It's a pose to start.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
And so what I'm hearing is at finding that silence
because I'll share it to you. Usually I do take
my phone with me. I make a point and not
look at anything. But sometimes if it call comes through,
or if it's the time, you know, I kind of
break it out. I break off my walk into like
segments that, Okay, there are friends, like sometimes you just
(23:00):
don't have time to catch up with so you know
that time you kind of catch up with them, and
then twenty twenty five minutes is to just commune with nature.
So one day it just so happened, like driving my
car and it says that oh, we cannot connect your phone.
I'm like, huh, what happened? Why it's not connecting? And
(23:20):
then it struck me, oh, I don't have my phone
with me, So it was my first instinct. It's amazing,
like even though I'm an evid meditator for multiple, multiple years,
and still my first instinct how our brains are trained,
was like, oh, let me go back and get my phone.
(23:42):
And then I said, you know what, this is such
a good experiment. I'm just going to go yeah, And
it was very interesting to see how many times, like
you know, as I'm walking, like it has just become
a habit, you just kind of check whether the phone
is in your pocket or like but you know, the
(24:02):
I don't know what is it called that the belt
or the little pocket thing that you kind of put
it on your waist when you're going out with you
to put in your phone and your keys and all
of that. So that was very interesting and now I
just kind of do it. I do have the phone,
I leave it in the car and sometimes I'll take it,
(24:24):
but I make a point not to just touch it.
And it's amazing how we can train our brain and
become comfortable with it.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Yeah, I think you know. Again, as a yoga teacher,
I can say silence is probably one of the most
powerful spaces for people to be in. From a nervous
system standpoint, We're constantly stimulated with so much noise and
so much stuff that to simply be in silence is
(24:54):
for so many people something they very rarely experience. And
whether it's by half instance, like what you describe, or
whether it's something that maybe they don't have control over,
like they're sitting in a waiting room in the doctor's office,
or they come to a yoga class and the teacher's
not using music and there's a few minutes before class
where the room is quiet. It can have such a
(25:15):
profound effect on the nervous system on the body simply
because there it's just so different from what people typically experience.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
That is true, And I like what you're saying, is
that just kind of experimenting, even if it is one minute,
and sometimes it's so important to have that silence and
taking that pause because that pause can help your brain
to reset. And that's a practice that I do myself,
(25:57):
like you know, throughout the day, if I can at
the top of the hour or like whenever're like, you know, okay,
if I'm in the flow, I do it, but then
take a break and just kind of unplug. So working
on it throughout the day. So tell us one of
the remaining.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Yeah, so number five, there's two more, number five.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
And is very quick check like you could you kind
of check like your mic is just having a lot of.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Distributed Okay, yeah, I haven't better. Okay, that better? Uh yeah,
so there's two more.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Number five is one of my favorite ones visualization. You know,
when we were little kids, we would dream all the time.
Matter of fact, I can distinctly remember when I was little,
I wanted this doll, and I used to go for
a walk every day to the candy store and I
used to, uh think really hard in my mind. If
I think hard enough, when I go around the corner
(27:01):
to the store, the dolls going to be there. I
just thought I had this superpower that I could will
this item into the three D. You know, when we
grow up, we don't do that anymore. But yet, when
we were talking earlier about changing jobs and what we
want in our life, starting that as a visualization is
(27:22):
a way that we can start to bring that to
life and start to materialize. What are the steps we
need to take. When you watch any world class athlete,
what do they always say when they win the thing?
They always say, I saw this in my mind. I
saw myself doing this. I mean there's so many examples,
not just athletes, but so many examples of people who
excel and they speak about that in those moments of
(27:45):
right after the win or whatever it is, I saw this.
So visualization super important. And then number six, the last
one is healthy habits. And I know people are just
going to think, oh, die in an exercise, and to
a certain extent, yes, but there's so many other things
we can do throughout our day that allow us to
(28:05):
build almost like the infrastructure of someone who is living
in a healthy way. And a lot of what we've
talked about here, I mean, if we just and this
is speaking for myself, not as giving advice or anything,
but just these ideas of movement, every day experimenting, having
a mind that's open and curious to self inquiry, daily
(28:27):
meditation or being in silence, visualization, and healthy habits that
are meaningful to you that would build a sense of
self worth, self value, and with that comes confidence. I
am confident as I move through the world, because I
have created this lattice work of steps that I take,
(28:49):
of ways that I operate that allows me to tap
into this empowered way of being.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
Absolutely some very wonderful nuggets over there, Karen. So now
there may be a new mom, there may be a
busy executive, there may be a busy entrepreneur, and they
may say that Karen and Dvia, you know, this is
all val and good what you're talking about, But what
(29:19):
if I only have twenty minutes time or not even
that much time during every day? What if I'm working
thirteen forteen hours or you know, there are a lot
of circumstances when people don't have time. So what would you.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Tell that.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
Person, like, you know, what infrastructure could they build in
that limited time and the constraints?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yeah, so you know, even even in our busyness, so
even the busy mom, the busy executive, there's an approach
to doing that can be infused with a lot of
the themes we're talking about here. So you know, I
can even again speaking for myself, on days where I
(30:02):
have a lot of things going on, I can wake
up in the morning and just throw myself at all
those things and by the end of the day completely collapse.
Or I can wake up in the morning, see I
have a full schedule and move through the day in
a mindful way that almost in a way prioritizes my
(30:23):
energy in service to all the things I need to do.
Now I can certainly say I have done both things,
and I definitely on the days that I do the latter,
I get to the end of the day and I
feel fulfilled instead of depleted. So that's just from a
high level something I can suggest. I mean mindfulness. We
(30:45):
haven't really talked about that in particular, but that is
a way of being that infuses all that we do,
and it allows us to move through our day without
constantly feeling like we're frantic and we're just running out
of energy. There's a way to do it, but it's really,
(31:07):
at its most basic, it's really just awareness being aware.
You know, I think about that busy executive. I was
that busy executive at one point. I can sit with
my laptop wolfing down my lunch, or I can take
ten minutes, turn off my laptop and eat my lunch mindfully.
Like that's just one small example. The only other thing
(31:28):
I'll say is even though we're talking about these things
and it might sound like it's a lot of time,
it's really not a lot of time. When you start
to build these things into your life, that's how something
becomes a lifestyle, not just a habit on its own.
So if I wake up in the morning and I
(31:49):
do a little meditation or visualization that takes two minutes,
and the more I do it, the more it becomes
part of my life. So now I'm not looking at
things saying I don't have the time. I'm looking at
things and saying I've integrated these things into my life
because that's the kind of person I am. And that's
(32:11):
how we shift our identity.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
M So bringing awareness into what you're doing. And when
you bring the awareness, then it's not that like, oh,
you're passing through the life. What you're doing is in
service of rather So for example, you may be you know,
it may be busy that oh I don't get to sleep,
verses I'm blessed if you're talking about the mom I'm
(32:37):
blessed to have my child and being grateful about the
blessings that you have. And similarly, like if you're an
executive or if you're a professional or entrepreneur that at
the end of the day, what I'm doing is going
to benefit someone. My input could be the output for someone,
(32:57):
and then that's being in service really really hits home.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Yeah, And I mean there's even science around gratitude and
tapping into gratitude and how that affects our cardiovascular system,
our underconsistem And at the same time, I don't want
people to hear that and think I don't even have
time to be grateful, or of course I'm grateful that
I have a baby, how is this going to help me?
(33:23):
So I totally support anything any of us can do
to tap into gratitude. And at the same time, I
also appreciate that people are stressed, people are tapped out,
people are super busy. I do think about moms a
lot because I think being a mother, especially if you're
(33:45):
a mother that works, but even if you're a mother
that stays home, that's a very unique role where you're
always putting yourself second or third or fourth, depending on
how many kids you have. So it's not just about
the rose colored glass, approaching on rose colored glasses and
saying I just need to walk around and be grateful.
It really does though, start with having an honest conversation
(34:08):
with yourself about what's missing, what kind of life do
I want to lead? What kind of things do I value?
And starting with something I mean. One of the things
I talk about a lot with the women that I
work with in my program is the magic of momentum.
When we start to do something, it could just be
(34:29):
one thing, we start to build momentum. And when we
build momentum, we feel like we're making progress. And when
we feel like we're making progress, we tend to stick
with whatever it is we're doing. And that is why
it is magic. It just takes that one or two
step process to get started, and pretty soon you know,
(34:49):
we can start to change absolutely.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
And self inquiry is the key that annoying you know
what you want, and when you're bringing that awareness, it
also kind of tells you. Like so one of the stories,
like you know, one of my client moms like a
mom client, or like you know, she was an executive
and she was like, I'll ever get meantime. It's like
(35:17):
I'm always putting everybody first and never get me time.
So then as you started out, like you know, talking
about values, when we talked about values, right, there on
the top of the list were her kids and her
husband and her work. So then it was when she
(35:38):
aligned with her value, she was able to see that
the time she was spending with them was her may time.
It's and that's the definition, like you know, like you
were talking about the rose colored classes, it's it's about
being very clear, having that clarity, that bringing that awareness
that meatime just doesn't have to be like, you know,
a two hours spend by myself. It can be in
(36:01):
the moment when you are in that moment, and when
you're experiencing life. To mean, that's the best gratitude that
you can have, because you're not passing through life, you're
living your life.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yeah, very much.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
So.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
I mean, similarly, I've worked with women who want to
enroll in my program and then they'll say, oh, but
I can't spend the money on myself because I could
otherwise be doing something for my kids. And so while yes,
I see that, I also ask them, you know, well,
(36:35):
if you were to do this thing, how would that
would that help you in some way be better for
your kids? And for a lot of these women, the
fact that they haven't really invested in themselves from a
time or some other perspective for a long time to
(36:56):
think about doing that actually helps them realize that it
would make them better for their family because now they're
feeding a part of them that maybe hasn't been tended
to for a long time.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
Absolutely, because now it's building them up. And it goes
back to I think so one of those Zen stories
that when your cup is full, then you can pour
for somebody else, but if your cup is empty, you
can pour from it. So invessing on oneself is such
a powerful thing, and that goes back again to finding
(37:34):
your values and finding even that twenty twenty five minutes
of time or even fifteen minutes of your time, and
then once you get started, you have the momentum. So
do how can people connect with you? Where can they
reach you?
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah? So my website is bearbones Yoga dot com, just
like it sounds, barebones yoga dot com. I'm on both
TikTok and Instagram same thing and bare bones Yoga, and
I do have a podcast, and of course most of
my content is directed towards yoga teachers. So if someone
is watching listening that is a yoga teacher, you're going
(38:12):
to find a lot there for you and At the
same time, a lot of what I share is about
mindset and confidence and personal development, so there's always content
there as well for people who are not yoga teachers.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Would you like to share any last tasks with her audience?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
I guess the final thing I would say is to
believe in yourself really starts on the inside and has
nothing to do with anything you're seeing or comparing yourself
to anybody else, And that we all have such amazing
potential and tapping into it really is our birthright is
(38:58):
to be out there in the world in as bold
and as confident a way as we can be. That is,
you don't need anybody's permission to do that. That is
one hundred percent absolutely what you were born to do.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Thank you so much, Karen, Thank you everyone for joining,
and thank you on for the making the show technically
possible be veiled.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Thank you the lost time, Thank you, thank you for
being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host d V Park,
we hope you have learned more about how to start
living the life you want. Each week on Beyond Confidence,
you hear stories of real people who've experienced growth by
overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence,
(39:43):
Dvpark shares what happened to her when she stepped out
of her comfort zone to work directly with people across
the globe. She not only coaches people how to form
hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships
as they strive to live the life they want. If
you are ready to live the life you want and
leverage your strengths, learn more at www dotwpark dot com
(40:06):
and you can connect with w at contact at dwpark
dot com. We look forward to you're joining us next week.
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