April 1, 2025 • 40 mins
A layoff isn’t an end—it’s a new beginning. In this episode of Beyond Confidence, Divya Parekh explores how to navigate career shifts with confidence. Learn how trusting your gut, shifting your mindset, and embracing AI can help you turn setbacks into opportunities and build a career that truly fits you.
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Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Coming up on dvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,
shattered their satus quo, and are living the life they want.
You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving
your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward
does not have to happen at the expense of your
personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at
(00:59):
WWDS You don't divpark dot com and you can connect
with Diva at contact Dance divpark dot com. This is
beyond confidence and now here's your host div Park.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Good morning listeners. I cannot share with you like you know,
so thrilled to be here with you all and not
going to read it out, but one of my clients
sent me a handwritten note and yesterday I was having
a little difficult day, so just you know, a few
(01:32):
things happening, and then I opened up my mail, so
I want to give a shout out to Sharon. And
when I read her note, it reminded me of my
why why I do what I do. It's to make
a difference and make an impact on other people's life.
So never underestimate your presence and who you can influence.
(01:57):
So be sure to do that kind act whenever you
get a chance, because you never know who might be
needing that. Also, thank you for those who have purchased
our books, and if you have not, we invite you
to purchase a books. It helps us in three ways.
(02:18):
It helps you, it helps to get the message out,
and thirdly, it also helps us to share part of
the profits at QA dot org. So let's bring in our.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Guest welling, he good morning.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So we start out with a moment in your childhood
or youth where it was an event, a person, or
something that left a positive mark on you. Do you
recall a moment or a person like that?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Absolutely I would. I would have to say my father,
And in the moment I didn't realize what a positive
effect he had on me. He was a very strong man.
He lectured us a lot, and it wasn't until later
in my life that I realized that was his way
(03:16):
of showing us that he loved us. It was he
was always telling us what to do and sitting us
down and lecturing for hours about everything of how to
change the oil in your car, to how to cut
the grass, you name it. But he was he was
imparting his wisdom, showing us he loved us the only
way he knew how So it wasn't until I got
(03:36):
to be quite a bit older that I had that
kind of epiphany.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
And here's the thing. A lot of people think that
the parents didn't do good by them, and I'm not
saying they don't, but it's also to kind of keep
in mind that sometimes their generation they don't even know that,
like Okay, you know, we got a tell our kids,
(04:01):
express our love for them, appreciate them. So then you
kind of like, you know, when you're talking about that,
then you know that it was his way of supporting you,
making sure that you know, y'all would be successful in
your life. And it sounds like you learned a lot
of things from him.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh boy did we. And I realized when after he
passed away that all the things he taught us, he
was doing that so when he was gone, we would
know how to, you know, get a bat out of
a house, change your oil, fix a leaky faucet, and
all those practical things so we could be more self sufficient.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Mm hmm. And those are such important skills to have, and.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Especially that, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
It is And one thing I'll share with to you.
There are some things like you know, my parents have
passed away and I'll in Steve and I'll remember them
quite often, like, huh, you know what my dad would
say something like that. My mom would say something like that,
I wish I had taken advantage of that opportunity. And
(05:13):
that kind of brings us is It's time is a fessence.
Time is so important, Like it's so important to respect time,
and most of us don't do that. So I'm glad
that you know you walked away with a lot of approaches.
So as you grew up, tell me what were your interests?
But did you want your life to go?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
You know, I didn't have a much of our family
was a family that never went to college. You went
to school and then you started working right away, and
there was no grand master plan. So I just gravitated
towards things that were put in front of me that
I could turn into something. So I graduated high school
(05:57):
and went to work the very next day and never
working until I was let go for my job in
twenty three. But I think, well, it wasn't an intentional path.
What I learned was to be open to and picking
up on things that started become easy to me, and
that kind of my life and my direction just kind
(06:18):
of evolved. So it wasn't said. It kind of had
this evolution.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
And that has its own power because so many people
have this set path, but there is no one size
that fits all, and then there is no right path,
the wrong path. It is whatever works for you, So
it's very powerful. You said that I graduated and from
very next day I went to work, and a lot of.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
A lot of.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Younger generation would be hmm, there was no get time
in between there, So tell us a little bit more
about that. And it's important to have time for yourself
as well. So what was it that made you transition
that quickly and you didn't even think about taking any
time off in between.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I think it was fun. As we grew up in
so I was born in the sixties and when you know,
my formative years were in the seventies, and our family
that we were just blue collar workers, and so you
just worked hard every day and there was no thought
of taking care of yourself. There was. It really didn't
(07:28):
come into play. Your work was your life. So the
part time job I had all through high school, as
soon as I graduated high school, I just it was
a natural progression, just walking right into that. And it
was never a thought in my mind that there was
something other out there for me, whether it was rest
or whether it was the opportunity to go to college.
(07:48):
It just wasn't even a thought.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
So given like you know, now you have had formation
in the last century and this century, like you know,
for people like you and I, what would you say,
how could people bring that balance, like having that mindsetful
work along with creating that balance between work and life.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
You know, there's so many people that say you have
to have the work life balance, you have to have,
and I the way I view it as you just
have to have a life balance. And it's never going
to be fifty to fifty, it's never going to be
eighty twenty. It's one getting clear on your boundaries of
what you can and cannot accept in your life and
taking time and knowing that when you do need to
(08:38):
break away and get quiet and kind of tune out
what's going on, that's when that's when the magic happens. Honestly,
I've gone through some kind of very stressful times in
my life where I didn't give myself that that time
and space, and it can. It looks different for everybody,
and it's different phases in your life. It may look different.
(08:59):
It may be, you know, getting away from the little
kids when you're a young parent, but it may be
personal connections with your girlfriends a little bit later in life.
So that connection and that re energizing looks different based
on where you are.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
M M. Yeah, And that's very powerful. What I like
is when you mentioned about life balance, and it's very
mature along the lines that I think, like you know,
there is work life harmony because there may be a time.
So for example, if you're an accountant and these three months,
like when you're talking about January, February, March and April,
(09:37):
you got to work it off because these are the
high seasons. And as you mentioned that, it's just kind
of finding that time. What you can what you cannot do.
So actually, one of my clients is accountant and he
decided to be in corporate and not have his own
(09:57):
private practice and not go through that seasonal cycles. So
that is really really critical, like knowing where are your boundaries,
what are your priorities, and that really helps. So coming
back to your journey, you mentioned that you know you
stepped into that role, So tell us a little bit
(10:18):
about your career journey.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Tell you Alida, right, So you know, I coming out
of taking that first job and growing and the first
couple jobs in my life weren't They weren't super stressful.
It was just learning who I was, what I was
good at I worked for. I always had to have
some kind of a purpose. The companies I had to
work for I knew they had to do good and
that kind of gave me this good sense of I
(10:43):
was giving back, or you know, I was doing something
that honored other people. But then as I got to
a certain level, and at that point, I was going
through a divorce, I had a six month old and
a two year old, and then it kind of morphed
in to Okay, this isn't just a job. This is
I have to support my family as a single parent.
(11:06):
And that that was a switch to say, Okay, I
need to get more serious about dedicating myself to work
so I can climb that ladder, so I can make
more money. So I so and again at the time
didn't realize it, but there was this since I was
the one who initiated the separation, I kind of felt
(11:27):
this guilt on myself that I didn't want my kids
to want for anything because of my decision. So that's
where I just started working more hours, climbing the ladder
and just putting more and more pressure on myself. And
at the time didn't realize it because I was so
focused on earn, earn, earn, clime, climb, climb, and support
(11:48):
the family. So that's kind of where that that whole
the switch happened, and then I found myself in a
company there was having some legal challenges that I needed
to separate myself from because again I needed to be
(12:09):
in a good environment during the day. And I took
a job with a security company and I absolutely loved
it because the purpose was there and that's the job
I was at for twenty years, and that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
So you mentioned about and there are a lot of parents
or single parents, you know, whether there are men or women,
you know, and single parenting is not that easy. So
what were some of the lessons you learned from that
time that you might tell some of our listeners who
may be single parents right now. I'm raising young babies.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
You don't have to do it all yourself. Set the
bar a little bit lower. I got super creative. That
was a time in my life where I had to
be super resourceful. I would go grocery shopping at lunchtime.
Nowadays you can just order online and it's delive. But
you had to get really resourceful and know that you
didn't have to do it all. And at the time,
(13:08):
I think one of the lessons in hindsight is I
thought I was always kind of short changing my kids.
Just keep in my head above water. But I focused
on things that made me more resilient, and it actually
taught them. I taught my kids how to be more
resilient themselves. I didn't even realize it. I wasn't trying
to do that. But later in life my kids have
(13:30):
both said, you know, we could just kind of followed
your lead, and we knew how to get ourselves up.
We knew how to get ourselves breakfast, get ourselves off
to school. I never had any of those issues because
it was just the way of our family. And to
not beat yourself up because and you can't compare yourself
to the person next door because they have different resources
(13:50):
and different priorities. So you just have to focus on all, right,
is what's right in front of me that I need
to get done, and it doesn't have to be perfect,
never has to be perfect.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
I really like a couple of things that you pointed out.
One was not to compare yourself with others, because you're
not walking in anybody else's shoes. You're not there, you
don't know, so now can you compare yourself with yourself? Sure?
Like you mentioned about being resourceful and not being perfect.
(14:22):
It's and also understanding that kids are resilient and sounds
like you gave them love, you were there for them,
and they grew up really well.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And you know what's funny is when I grew up,
my dad would lecture us and tell us, and we
became resourceful because he told us and taught us. But
I look back and I look at my kids. While
I didn't sit and lecture them, they learned based off example.
So I kind of started thinking, oh my gosh, it's
kind of history repeating itself, but in a different way.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
You mentioned that you know, you enjoyed working with the
security company, So tell us about your career over there
and what was about it.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
So what I loved about that was and I started
out kind of in a marketing creative realm, and it
blossomed into the company that I worked for. I'll be
a little careful here because I don't want to divulge
too much about the company because there are things that
they do that need to be kept under wraps. But
(15:32):
we basically worked with law enforcement in high pressure situations,
and I came in on the front end of that
chapter in the company and I grew with it. So
it went from this very narrow focus. Over the years,
it took on more and more and more and more.
(15:53):
So you kind of grew up with this product, with
this service, and you got fully ingrained in it and
had a stake in what was happening, and it was exciting.
You were doing good. It was like you could go
home and know that I had this impact and it
felt great. And the more the bigger that got, the
more you took on, the better you felt. Now, in hindsight,
(16:16):
I realized I was starting to identify myself as the
job and I kind of lost sense of me as
a person. But it felt good.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Because you were making an impact exactly. Yeah, so you
were working in a very high pressure job and you
know you have shed that there was something like, you know,
a couple of your colleagues died in three weeks of
each other. Tell us about that time.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Right, Yeah, So my job was I oversaw a twenty
four seven department, so you can never really shut off.
You woke in the morning and it was stressful. You
came in on a Monday and it was like you've
been on vacation every single week. So it was a
lot of a lot of volume, very high paced, and
(17:06):
I had two of my peer colleagues. One was headed
towards retirement within a few weeks and one was headed
to retirement a few years and both of them passed
passed away unexpectedly. We got the phone call about my
first colleague and it was a punch to the gut,
you know. It was like she was so close to
retirement and you know, unexpectedly passed. And three weeks later,
(17:30):
get another call and my other colleague all of a
sudden passed away, you know, without any warning. And here
I was. I felt like I was last man standing.
And when you kind of turned out, yeah, you looked left,
you looked right, and you're like, oh my gosh. They're
the hours and the pressure that I was working under
as well, and the realization of okay, something's got to
(17:54):
give something, And that's you never want to have that
intense of a wake up call, but sometimes it just
happens that way and you need to listen.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And as a result of that bakeup call, what changes
did you make in your life?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
So I thought I had almost eighteen years in with
this company at that time. I loved what we did
as a company, absolutely loved it. Thought I would I
would retire from that company, but I knew that the
environment I was in the department I was in was
just a pace and a stress that I couldn't get
away from. So I jumped departments, thinking that I was
(18:34):
going to something that would give me more balance. But
I realized in hindsight, I was equated to the movie
The Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts, when she says, I
realized I wasn't running towards something, I was running away
from something. And what I realized was I wasn't super
excited about the next job I was taking within the company.
(18:57):
I was more excited about getting away from the page
and the pressure that I had been in for so long.
And it just wasn't the right, the right situation. So
I stuck it out for two years, and then it
just wasn't the right, the right situation, so we we
ended up departing.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Mm hmm. And so when you ended up departing the company,
that's a huge change because as you mentioned that, you know,
out of high school and right there, like, you know,
being in the workforce for so long.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
How did that send it to you? Oh? It was
it was a gut punch. It was horrible because I
wasn't expecting the departure it happened. I think it needed
to happen. I had been toying in my mind with
you know, I I probably should make a change, but
I was scared to make a change, not having that
college degree and being you know, so far into my career,
(19:54):
knowing that, okay, I'm out of work. If I go
back to the same type of work, I would be
positioning myself against people much younger that have so much
more college experience. They have college when I didn't, And
it was really scary. It was very scary.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, And here's the thing. A lot of people don't
realize that experience is very important because so many times,
even if you have had a good college degree, and
when you go and look at the jobs, you know,
there's sometimes any good jobs. I mean a lot of
kids get hired directly from the colleges itself. Like now
they're butt alumni programs and all that, But back then,
(20:38):
so many jobs you would take a look at it,
they're requesting three years of experience, five years of experience,
Like how do you get that? And one of the
things I'll share is that I used to work for
biopharmas you know, quite some time back in my previous life,
and we had so many smart leaders who had not
(21:04):
gone to college, but who grew up in the company
and then new and back and forth and had learned
the nuances. And so the way I look at it
is that, like you have gone through school of life, absolutely,
what did you do with your fear?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I sat in it first. I think there's a My
initial reaction was to try and hide it and laugh
through it, and it's done, like it didn't exist. But
something I always tell myself is, you know a feeling
fully felt, it fades, so I had to kind of
let it out. You can let it out, and in
(21:45):
many different ways. Some people, you know, they go to
a councilor or they talk to their spouse. I would
go to my friend's house and brush horses for two
hours and just kind of talk it through and hear
myself talking, and that was my kind of It's very cathartic,
and just talking about it over and over and playing
the worst case scenario game with myself and letting myself
(22:07):
go to that place of Okay, what's the absolute worst
thing that could happen? And I would go to the
place of I can never find a job again and
no one will want to hire me, and I lose
the house, I lose this, and I'm homeless. So I
would let myself go there, and then i'd sit back
and say, is that really going to happen? Yeah? Probably not,
But allowing myself to kind of go there and feel
(22:28):
that was like, okay, and now I can I've dealt
with that, I've talked it through. Let's set that aside
and get honest with myself about what could be next.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
And it was fantastic that you had that support. And
it's important to have that support in your life, whether
it's a friend or a counselor or whoever it is,
because when you're going through these tough times, as you mentioned,
it's important to embrace those feelings, embrace those fears, and
they're I'm just going to walk away any day, disappearance,
(23:00):
but you gotta sit through it, you gotta face it,
You've got to walk through the fire. So as you
were facing your fears, how did you reinvent yourself and
what direction did you take?
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Yeah, so I started once I dealt with all that fear,
I started thinking Okay, I've done a lot of good
things over my career. And I started taking an inventory
of what are the things that I was super super
good at, you know, and were where were the projects
that I would lose track of time. I'd look up
at the eight o'clock at night and I'm still at work,
(23:34):
and someone picked up my kids for me. So I
started getting serious on what were those things that I
did really well that made me special that people would
come to me for for help. So I kind of
wrote that down as one column, and then I was like, Okay, well,
what are the things I love to do? And I
started seeing these common themes through my life, and you know,
(23:55):
I picked apart my different jobs about what did I
love about that job? What I love about that job?
And this theme of personal connection and learning from each other.
Those were kind of the common themes I loved. I'm
super curious, always asking people about what their problems were
or how did they think or how did they end
(24:16):
up where they ended up and kind of getting clear
on those. And then I had to figure out, Okay,
what do I do with all of that? And I
used some technology I used AI to help me get
clear on that and offer up some different career suggestions
and ideas, and that's how I found my way into
career transition coaching. So I actually am doing what someone
(24:40):
helped me with when I got let go from my job.
I'm now doing that for others and it honors the
themes that have been all through my life about learning
from each other and then paying it forward.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Yeah, that's very powerful. So, Jen, something you mentioned was
taking inventory and seeing the patents, because always what happens
is not always. It's most of the times that I've
seen with my clients, especially if they're laid off or
if they're looking to transition into another career, they feel
that they don't have experience, and it is about knowing
(25:17):
and having that inventory of transferable skills. So if somebody
is looking to transition, what are the first few steps
you would recommend that they take.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Well, I think that that inventory is important, but it
has to come once you've settled and let the dust settle.
I think the folks that get laid off and then
they immediately jump into what's my first action, they miss
the magic. I always it's the magic that happens when
you unplug, even if it's for two weeks to get
(25:51):
let all that. There's so much that happens once you
get laid off, and trying to do both at one
time does it doesn't help you at all. So do
all your process stuff, but then get clear with yourself
and get I like to kind of get away from
my environment, kind of get away from the house, away
from everything that's normal, get a new environment, and just
sit down and walk, do a lot of walking, to
(26:15):
talk to yourself about what went well, what didn't go well.
And a lot of people say that, you know, well,
my job is toxic, my boss is toxic. It was horrible,
It was horrible, But there's a lot of there's a
lot of wisdom in how did I contribute to that environment?
(26:37):
And I think that that was in my case. I
had to get very clear with those last two years
when I changed departments. Was it great? No, absolutely not.
But I realized that the piece that I contributed to
that and every situation that you're in it was okay.
Had I put up different boundaries around the work I did,
(26:59):
I probably would have been in a different position. So
taking stock of how you contributed to that situation as well,
and then what do you want it to look like
going forward, because too many people jump into that job
search trying to shoehorn themselves into the next opportunity versus
getting clear with what they're good at and what they
(27:20):
love and having the job fit into that. And it's
kind of a reverse way of thinking about it. But
I find the people I work with that take that
approach end up a bit happier. In the end.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
It makes sense because think about it, if you're jumping
straight into it your emotions and that's very even talking
about having that resilient mindset. Then if you start out
with the right mindset, then you're looking at things objectively
and one of the key things that pops out is
directing it back towards yourself. Yes, situation outside is going
(27:57):
to be horrific, like you said, sometimes it can be
a very toxic boss, but it's what could I like
you mentioned, you know, what did I contribute or what
could I learn from that? So taking those lessons else,
you bring that perspective like Okay, what is it that
I want to do next? So that's bringing that self
(28:20):
accountability is a very very key piece because then it
allows you to even trust yourself. And you talk about
trusting your gut tell us a bit more about that.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Yeah, so where I ended up now, So I did
pretty much one hundred and eighty degree change from what
I had been doing to what I'm doing now, And
those some folks that were in a very kind and
loving way asking if that was the right step, because
it was so different. And every time I had I
had to realize that when folks would question my next choice,
(28:56):
my next career for one reason or another, I had
to realize that they were most of them were coming
from a place of concern and love, and that I
had to thank them and push it to the side.
And I just had. I kept coming back to that list,
the inventory list, and the priorities, and I even went
(29:17):
so far as to you know, there's an exercise about
what are your big rocks? What are the most important
thing to you? And I'm a rock collector. Wherever I
go walking or the beach or vacation, I bring rocks back.
And I put myself together a jar that has big rocks,
little rocks, and I have written on them what's most
important to me, and I would keep it on my
desk and just refer back to it. You know, when
(29:39):
I was making decisions or considering different paths. I always
would look back and say, does that align with what
I've already declared as the most important things? And if
it doesn't, that I gave myself permission to set it
aside and refocus on what was important to me, not
someone else.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Yeah. Visual reminders definitely get you going. And it's sometimes
what happens is we're working so much on automation, and
brain does work on automation because brain is designed to
just suffice, not optimize. So when you're doing that, I
think that reminder can be so meaningful because you mentioned
(30:18):
that that walk walk, walk, so as you're walking and
as you're picking up rocks and now there is a reminder,
So there's it's almost a reinforcement of the decision or
the conversation you had with yourself.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
Absolutely yeah, and a reminder of like, okay, trust yourself,
and yes, other people will come from a place of
concern and love, and yet you're the one who's.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Living your life. And you also mentioned that you took
help of some AI, so let's talk about that, because
I can definitely say that there are a lot of
assessments that can help you with the career choices and
all that. So what of tools did you use and
if there a need that you would recommend.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Yeah, So primarily what I love to start out with
and what I did to myself. And I use this
exercise with some other folks in transition that I work with.
Is I use that exercise that I did about priorities.
I said, what am I super good at? That's bucket
number one. I put down three or four bullet points
super specific about what I really enjoy doing. In the
(31:26):
second bucket, I put down what are the things that
so I'm super good? What do I really enjoy doing?
But then the third bucket has to do with priorities
and values what's important to you from like for career transition.
There are some folks that say I want to stay
in the pharma industry, or someone else may say I
need I must work remotely because of whatever. But whatever's
(31:49):
for me, I had to work for an ethical company,
something I felt good about giving back. So when I
took all those buckets and I would leverage AI even
like a chat g can tee and there is when
you're working with it, you have to tell it who
to be, you have to give it a persona first.
If not, it's going to answer you as a generalist.
So I always tell my folks to start off with
(32:11):
a good persona. Is you're a career transition consultant or
you're a career coach, you've got twenty years experience, give
me ten jobs or titles that leverage the following, and
you can copy in your three buckets. And then I
always also tell folks to type in, you know, ask
me any questions for clarity before you begin, because then
you're asking the AI bot to refine your request before
(32:35):
it answers. And if the more specific you are about
your three buckets, the better response you're going to get.
And it could be something that's totally out of left
field that you never even thought about. And the beauty
about using AI is it's very simple to grab the
second result from the list and say, dig in, tell
(32:57):
me more about that career, and then dig into what
companies hire that type of career, what skills are needed.
So it's a great kind of intentional bunny trail, if
you will, where you start with one idea and you
could just keep digging deeper and deeper. It's been super,
super helpful for a lot of folks that I've worked in.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Oh. Absolutely, And rather than considering a as your enemy,
you know, you can use it as your executive assistant.
I mean, it can be your team, make it work
for you. So, in your experience as a career transition coach,
what are some of the teams that people like you
(33:39):
know who have been successful in lending their jobs versus
people who have struggled in lending their jobs.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Yeah. So the folks that I find that are successful quicker,
I call them landing when they land in their next opportunity.
Quicker is one They're open minded, They're open to talking
to people, and I think networking gets a really bad
wrap these days because folks are very narrow minded on
what that means. And it's honestly, it's just a connection.
(34:08):
I call it connect working. You're connecting with people on
It can even be just a random conversation. But that's
so important is being open minded on declaring what you
want and why you want it, but being open to
how that happens. And then it's through conversations a lot
of times that opportunities will surface that you aren't expecting
(34:31):
and giving running down that road at least far enough
to rule it in or rule it out. So many
folks that I find don't land quickly or they end
up somewhere that they're not happy. Is they have their
specific endpoint in mind and they're not open to any
other opportunities, so you know again, and they're not willing
(34:53):
to talk to people and have those curious conversations. So
it's super important these days. You're not asking for a job,
you just asking for connection and letting the jobs will come.
The jobs will come. But is that connection that you
need to have.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Absolutely, And that's such a powerful thing because at the
end of the day, it is still people hiring people.
And in my experience, what I've seen is that when
you have warm connections, you can reach out to them.
They're happy to introduce you to other people, they're happy
to recommend you or even learning, like you know what
the company's like, or even learning as to what their
(35:32):
experience is if that's the job that you want to pursue.
Networking can bring so many valuable assets and relationships. I mean,
for me, relationships are iceless.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, And I like to I like to tell when
I'm talking to FoST especially introverts who are really afraid
of making connections. I always tell I call it the
Safari strategy. You never want to go with them directly
right right. I met people from the side, and that
means don't always make it just about a job, and
I have to network with three people. If there's someone
(36:07):
in your sphere, find something that you can feed them,
because it's all about give and take. So find a podcast,
find a ted talk, find an article that you can
send over to him and say, hey, I just tripped
across this ted talk. You were the first person I
thought of, wonder how you're doing. Can we catch up
sometime in the next two weeks, because then you're making
about a thing, you're not making it about you, and
(36:30):
you're not asking for something you're giving, and then it'll
come back around.
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Absolutely some great pointers there, So Jen share with us.
You know where people can connect with you. What do
you offer if you have any books? Everything about yourself?
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Sure? Absolutely well. My website is Jendashford dot com and
I have started since I did get let go from
that position. I also started a book series. It's called
the Wisdom and Warnings book Series, and in the past
nine months I've published four books. Right off the bat
and It is from a collection of over my life,
those curious conversations talking to people, gathering all this wisdom,
(37:15):
and then I've kind of curated all that into different
life milestone categories. So I've put together a book on
from Divorce, Mess to Happiness all the lessons learned about
that season. And also I just put out a book
Tips from the Quad, all the wisdom about that. You
didn't did you want to give your kids about going
to college? But they're going to roll the rize. So yes,
(37:37):
I've started this Wisdom and Warning book series and then
some career coaching and you can find all that at
gendashboard dot com.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
And where can people find your books.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
You can find them on Amazon and you can just
search Wisdom and Warnings or off my website. They're all linked.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Okay, fantastic. Any last words, any last words.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
You'd like to thoughts is be kind to yourself, give
yourself some grace, trust your gut, declare your why. I
think you were talking about your why in the in
the very beginning of this episode. Getting clear on your
why and then your next step. They're going to unfold
as you as you walk. It's just be kind to yourself.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
Yes, that's a beautiful way to circle it back. Be
kind to yourself and thank you Jen for being with
us and sharing your wisdom so openly, and.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Thanks for having me. I greatly appreciated it.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Keep making the difference that you're making and I'm sure
a lot of people are going to benefit from you.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Fantastic you too.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
Thank you, Thank you well, Thank you wonderful audience for
being with us, because without you, this show would not
be possible to reach out to us. Let us know
how we can serve you and support you in your life, Johnny,
so that you can live the life you deserve. And
thank you one for making the show technically impossible.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host Via Park, we hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Divapark shares what happened to her when
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly
(39:27):
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to live the life
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www
dot dvpark dot com and you can connect with dvat
(39:47):
contact at dvapark dot com. We look forward to you
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
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Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Coming up on dvoparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
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(00:59):
WWDS You don't divpark dot com and you can connect
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beyond confidence and now here's your host div Park.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Good morning listeners. I cannot share with you like you know,
so thrilled to be here with you all and not
going to read it out, but one of my clients
sent me a handwritten note and yesterday I was having
a little difficult day, so just you know, a few
(01:32):
things happening, and then I opened up my mail, so
I want to give a shout out to Sharon. And
when I read her note, it reminded me of my
why why I do what I do. It's to make
a difference and make an impact on other people's life.
So never underestimate your presence and who you can influence.
(01:57):
So be sure to do that kind act whenever you
get a chance, because you never know who might be
needing that. Also, thank you for those who have purchased
our books, and if you have not, we invite you
to purchase a books. It helps us in three ways.
(02:18):
It helps you, it helps to get the message out,
and thirdly, it also helps us to share part of
the profits at QA dot org. So let's bring in our.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Guest welling, he good morning.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So we start out with a moment in your childhood
or youth where it was an event, a person, or
something that left a positive mark on you. Do you
recall a moment or a person like that?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Absolutely I would. I would have to say my father,
And in the moment I didn't realize what a positive
effect he had on me. He was a very strong man.
He lectured us a lot, and it wasn't until later
in my life that I realized that was his way
(03:16):
of showing us that he loved us. It was he
was always telling us what to do and sitting us
down and lecturing for hours about everything of how to
change the oil in your car, to how to cut
the grass, you name it. But he was he was
imparting his wisdom, showing us he loved us the only
way he knew how So it wasn't until I got
(03:36):
to be quite a bit older that I had that
kind of epiphany.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
And here's the thing. A lot of people think that
the parents didn't do good by them, and I'm not
saying they don't, but it's also to kind of keep
in mind that sometimes their generation they don't even know that,
like Okay, you know, we got a tell our kids,
(04:01):
express our love for them, appreciate them. So then you
kind of like, you know, when you're talking about that,
then you know that it was his way of supporting you,
making sure that you know, y'all would be successful in
your life. And it sounds like you learned a lot
of things from him.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh boy did we. And I realized when after he
passed away that all the things he taught us, he
was doing that so when he was gone, we would
know how to, you know, get a bat out of
a house, change your oil, fix a leaky faucet, and
all those practical things so we could be more self sufficient.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Mm hmm. And those are such important skills to have, and.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Especially that, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
It is And one thing I'll share with to you.
There are some things like you know, my parents have
passed away and I'll in Steve and I'll remember them
quite often, like, huh, you know what my dad would
say something like that. My mom would say something like that,
I wish I had taken advantage of that opportunity. And
(05:13):
that kind of brings us is It's time is a fessence.
Time is so important, Like it's so important to respect time,
and most of us don't do that. So I'm glad
that you know you walked away with a lot of approaches.
So as you grew up, tell me what were your interests?
But did you want your life to go?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
You know, I didn't have a much of our family
was a family that never went to college. You went
to school and then you started working right away, and
there was no grand master plan. So I just gravitated
towards things that were put in front of me that
I could turn into something. So I graduated high school
(05:57):
and went to work the very next day and never
working until I was let go for my job in
twenty three. But I think, well, it wasn't an intentional path.
What I learned was to be open to and picking
up on things that started become easy to me, and
that kind of my life and my direction just kind
(06:18):
of evolved. So it wasn't said. It kind of had
this evolution.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
And that has its own power because so many people
have this set path, but there is no one size
that fits all, and then there is no right path,
the wrong path. It is whatever works for you, So
it's very powerful. You said that I graduated and from
very next day I went to work, and a lot of.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
A lot of.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Younger generation would be hmm, there was no get time
in between there, So tell us a little bit more
about that. And it's important to have time for yourself
as well. So what was it that made you transition
that quickly and you didn't even think about taking any
time off in between.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I think it was fun. As we grew up in
so I was born in the sixties and when you know,
my formative years were in the seventies, and our family
that we were just blue collar workers, and so you
just worked hard every day and there was no thought
of taking care of yourself. There was. It really didn't
(07:28):
come into play. Your work was your life. So the
part time job I had all through high school, as
soon as I graduated high school, I just it was
a natural progression, just walking right into that. And it
was never a thought in my mind that there was
something other out there for me, whether it was rest
or whether it was the opportunity to go to college.
(07:48):
It just wasn't even a thought.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
So given like you know, now you have had formation
in the last century and this century, like you know,
for people like you and I, what would you say,
how could people bring that balance, like having that mindsetful
work along with creating that balance between work and life.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
You know, there's so many people that say you have
to have the work life balance, you have to have,
and I the way I view it as you just
have to have a life balance. And it's never going
to be fifty to fifty, it's never going to be
eighty twenty. It's one getting clear on your boundaries of
what you can and cannot accept in your life and
taking time and knowing that when you do need to
(08:38):
break away and get quiet and kind of tune out
what's going on, that's when that's when the magic happens. Honestly,
I've gone through some kind of very stressful times in
my life where I didn't give myself that that time
and space, and it can. It looks different for everybody,
and it's different phases in your life. It may look different.
(08:59):
It may be, you know, getting away from the little
kids when you're a young parent, but it may be
personal connections with your girlfriends a little bit later in life.
So that connection and that re energizing looks different based
on where you are.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
M M. Yeah, And that's very powerful. What I like
is when you mentioned about life balance, and it's very
mature along the lines that I think, like you know,
there is work life harmony because there may be a time.
So for example, if you're an accountant and these three months,
like when you're talking about January, February, March and April,
(09:37):
you got to work it off because these are the
high seasons. And as you mentioned that, it's just kind
of finding that time. What you can what you cannot do.
So actually, one of my clients is accountant and he
decided to be in corporate and not have his own
(09:57):
private practice and not go through that seasonal cycles. So
that is really really critical, like knowing where are your boundaries,
what are your priorities, and that really helps. So coming
back to your journey, you mentioned that you know you
stepped into that role, So tell us a little bit
(10:18):
about your career journey.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Tell you Alida, right, So you know, I coming out
of taking that first job and growing and the first
couple jobs in my life weren't They weren't super stressful.
It was just learning who I was, what I was
good at I worked for. I always had to have
some kind of a purpose. The companies I had to
work for I knew they had to do good and
that kind of gave me this good sense of I
(10:43):
was giving back, or you know, I was doing something
that honored other people. But then as I got to
a certain level, and at that point, I was going
through a divorce, I had a six month old and
a two year old, and then it kind of morphed
in to Okay, this isn't just a job. This is
I have to support my family as a single parent.
(11:06):
And that that was a switch to say, Okay, I
need to get more serious about dedicating myself to work
so I can climb that ladder, so I can make
more money. So I so and again at the time
didn't realize it, but there was this since I was
the one who initiated the separation, I kind of felt
(11:27):
this guilt on myself that I didn't want my kids
to want for anything because of my decision. So that's
where I just started working more hours, climbing the ladder
and just putting more and more pressure on myself. And
at the time didn't realize it because I was so
focused on earn, earn, earn, clime, climb, climb, and support
(11:48):
the family. So that's kind of where that that whole
the switch happened, and then I found myself in a
company there was having some legal challenges that I needed
to separate myself from because again I needed to be
(12:09):
in a good environment during the day. And I took
a job with a security company and I absolutely loved
it because the purpose was there and that's the job
I was at for twenty years, and that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
So you mentioned about and there are a lot of parents
or single parents, you know, whether there are men or women,
you know, and single parenting is not that easy. So
what were some of the lessons you learned from that
time that you might tell some of our listeners who
may be single parents right now. I'm raising young babies.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
You don't have to do it all yourself. Set the
bar a little bit lower. I got super creative. That
was a time in my life where I had to
be super resourceful. I would go grocery shopping at lunchtime.
Nowadays you can just order online and it's delive. But
you had to get really resourceful and know that you
didn't have to do it all. And at the time,
(13:08):
I think one of the lessons in hindsight is I
thought I was always kind of short changing my kids.
Just keep in my head above water. But I focused
on things that made me more resilient, and it actually
taught them. I taught my kids how to be more
resilient themselves. I didn't even realize it. I wasn't trying
to do that. But later in life my kids have
(13:30):
both said, you know, we could just kind of followed
your lead, and we knew how to get ourselves up.
We knew how to get ourselves breakfast, get ourselves off
to school. I never had any of those issues because
it was just the way of our family. And to
not beat yourself up because and you can't compare yourself
to the person next door because they have different resources
(13:50):
and different priorities. So you just have to focus on all, right,
is what's right in front of me that I need
to get done, and it doesn't have to be perfect,
never has to be perfect.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
I really like a couple of things that you pointed out.
One was not to compare yourself with others, because you're
not walking in anybody else's shoes. You're not there, you
don't know, so now can you compare yourself with yourself? Sure?
Like you mentioned about being resourceful and not being perfect.
(14:22):
It's and also understanding that kids are resilient and sounds
like you gave them love, you were there for them,
and they grew up really well.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And you know what's funny is when I grew up,
my dad would lecture us and tell us, and we
became resourceful because he told us and taught us. But
I look back and I look at my kids. While
I didn't sit and lecture them, they learned based off example.
So I kind of started thinking, oh my gosh, it's
kind of history repeating itself, but in a different way.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
You mentioned that you know, you enjoyed working with the
security company, So tell us about your career over there
and what was about it.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
So what I loved about that was and I started
out kind of in a marketing creative realm, and it
blossomed into the company that I worked for. I'll be
a little careful here because I don't want to divulge
too much about the company because there are things that
they do that need to be kept under wraps. But
(15:32):
we basically worked with law enforcement in high pressure situations,
and I came in on the front end of that
chapter in the company and I grew with it. So
it went from this very narrow focus. Over the years,
it took on more and more and more and more.
(15:53):
So you kind of grew up with this product, with
this service, and you got fully ingrained in it and
had a stake in what was happening, and it was exciting.
You were doing good. It was like you could go
home and know that I had this impact and it
felt great. And the more the bigger that got, the
more you took on, the better you felt. Now, in hindsight,
(16:16):
I realized I was starting to identify myself as the
job and I kind of lost sense of me as
a person. But it felt good.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Because you were making an impact exactly. Yeah, so you
were working in a very high pressure job and you
know you have shed that there was something like, you know,
a couple of your colleagues died in three weeks of
each other. Tell us about that time.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Right, Yeah, So my job was I oversaw a twenty
four seven department, so you can never really shut off.
You woke in the morning and it was stressful. You
came in on a Monday and it was like you've
been on vacation every single week. So it was a
lot of a lot of volume, very high paced, and
(17:06):
I had two of my peer colleagues. One was headed
towards retirement within a few weeks and one was headed
to retirement a few years and both of them passed
passed away unexpectedly. We got the phone call about my
first colleague and it was a punch to the gut,
you know. It was like she was so close to
retirement and you know, unexpectedly passed. And three weeks later,
(17:30):
get another call and my other colleague all of a
sudden passed away, you know, without any warning. And here
I was. I felt like I was last man standing.
And when you kind of turned out, yeah, you looked left,
you looked right, and you're like, oh my gosh. They're
the hours and the pressure that I was working under
as well, and the realization of okay, something's got to
(17:54):
give something, And that's you never want to have that
intense of a wake up call, but sometimes it just
happens that way and you need to listen.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And as a result of that bakeup call, what changes
did you make in your life?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
So I thought I had almost eighteen years in with
this company at that time. I loved what we did
as a company, absolutely loved it. Thought I would I
would retire from that company, but I knew that the
environment I was in the department I was in was
just a pace and a stress that I couldn't get
away from. So I jumped departments, thinking that I was
(18:34):
going to something that would give me more balance. But
I realized in hindsight, I was equated to the movie
The Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts, when she says, I
realized I wasn't running towards something, I was running away
from something. And what I realized was I wasn't super
excited about the next job I was taking within the company.
(18:57):
I was more excited about getting away from the page
and the pressure that I had been in for so long.
And it just wasn't the right, the right situation. So
I stuck it out for two years, and then it
just wasn't the right, the right situation, so we we
ended up departing.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Mm hmm. And so when you ended up departing the company,
that's a huge change because as you mentioned that, you know,
out of high school and right there, like, you know,
being in the workforce for so long.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
How did that send it to you? Oh? It was
it was a gut punch. It was horrible because I
wasn't expecting the departure it happened. I think it needed
to happen. I had been toying in my mind with
you know, I I probably should make a change, but
I was scared to make a change, not having that
college degree and being you know, so far into my career,
(19:54):
knowing that, okay, I'm out of work. If I go
back to the same type of work, I would be
positioning myself against people much younger that have so much
more college experience. They have college when I didn't, And
it was really scary. It was very scary.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Yeah, And here's the thing. A lot of people don't
realize that experience is very important because so many times,
even if you have had a good college degree, and
when you go and look at the jobs, you know,
there's sometimes any good jobs. I mean a lot of
kids get hired directly from the colleges itself. Like now
they're butt alumni programs and all that, But back then,
(20:38):
so many jobs you would take a look at it,
they're requesting three years of experience, five years of experience,
Like how do you get that? And one of the
things I'll share is that I used to work for
biopharmas you know, quite some time back in my previous life,
and we had so many smart leaders who had not
(21:04):
gone to college, but who grew up in the company
and then new and back and forth and had learned
the nuances. And so the way I look at it
is that, like you have gone through school of life, absolutely,
what did you do with your fear?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I sat in it first. I think there's a My
initial reaction was to try and hide it and laugh
through it, and it's done, like it didn't exist. But
something I always tell myself is, you know a feeling
fully felt, it fades, so I had to kind of
let it out. You can let it out, and in
(21:45):
many different ways. Some people, you know, they go to
a councilor or they talk to their spouse. I would
go to my friend's house and brush horses for two
hours and just kind of talk it through and hear
myself talking, and that was my kind of It's very cathartic,
and just talking about it over and over and playing
the worst case scenario game with myself and letting myself
(22:07):
go to that place of Okay, what's the absolute worst
thing that could happen? And I would go to the
place of I can never find a job again and
no one will want to hire me, and I lose
the house, I lose this, and I'm homeless. So I
would let myself go there, and then i'd sit back
and say, is that really going to happen? Yeah? Probably not,
But allowing myself to kind of go there and feel
(22:28):
that was like, okay, and now I can I've dealt
with that, I've talked it through. Let's set that aside
and get honest with myself about what could be next.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
And it was fantastic that you had that support. And
it's important to have that support in your life, whether
it's a friend or a counselor or whoever it is,
because when you're going through these tough times, as you mentioned,
it's important to embrace those feelings, embrace those fears, and
they're I'm just going to walk away any day, disappearance,
(23:00):
but you gotta sit through it, you gotta face it,
You've got to walk through the fire. So as you
were facing your fears, how did you reinvent yourself and
what direction did you take?
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Yeah, so I started once I dealt with all that fear,
I started thinking Okay, I've done a lot of good
things over my career. And I started taking an inventory
of what are the things that I was super super
good at, you know, and were where were the projects
that I would lose track of time. I'd look up
at the eight o'clock at night and I'm still at work,
(23:34):
and someone picked up my kids for me. So I
started getting serious on what were those things that I
did really well that made me special that people would
come to me for for help. So I kind of
wrote that down as one column, and then I was like, Okay, well,
what are the things I love to do? And I
started seeing these common themes through my life, and you know,
(23:55):
I picked apart my different jobs about what did I
love about that job? What I love about that job?
And this theme of personal connection and learning from each other.
Those were kind of the common themes I loved. I'm
super curious, always asking people about what their problems were
or how did they think or how did they end
(24:16):
up where they ended up and kind of getting clear
on those. And then I had to figure out, Okay,
what do I do with all of that? And I
used some technology I used AI to help me get
clear on that and offer up some different career suggestions
and ideas, and that's how I found my way into
career transition coaching. So I actually am doing what someone
(24:40):
helped me with when I got let go from my job.
I'm now doing that for others and it honors the
themes that have been all through my life about learning
from each other and then paying it forward.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Yeah, that's very powerful. So, Jen, something you mentioned was
taking inventory and seeing the patents, because always what happens
is not always. It's most of the times that I've
seen with my clients, especially if they're laid off or
if they're looking to transition into another career, they feel
that they don't have experience, and it is about knowing
(25:17):
and having that inventory of transferable skills. So if somebody
is looking to transition, what are the first few steps
you would recommend that they take.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Well, I think that that inventory is important, but it
has to come once you've settled and let the dust settle.
I think the folks that get laid off and then
they immediately jump into what's my first action, they miss
the magic. I always it's the magic that happens when
you unplug, even if it's for two weeks to get
(25:51):
let all that. There's so much that happens once you
get laid off, and trying to do both at one
time does it doesn't help you at all. So do
all your process stuff, but then get clear with yourself
and get I like to kind of get away from
my environment, kind of get away from the house, away
from everything that's normal, get a new environment, and just
sit down and walk, do a lot of walking, to
(26:15):
talk to yourself about what went well, what didn't go well.
And a lot of people say that, you know, well,
my job is toxic, my boss is toxic. It was horrible,
It was horrible, But there's a lot of there's a
lot of wisdom in how did I contribute to that environment?
(26:37):
And I think that that was in my case. I
had to get very clear with those last two years
when I changed departments. Was it great? No, absolutely not.
But I realized that the piece that I contributed to
that and every situation that you're in it was okay.
Had I put up different boundaries around the work I did,
(26:59):
I probably would have been in a different position. So
taking stock of how you contributed to that situation as well,
and then what do you want it to look like
going forward, because too many people jump into that job
search trying to shoehorn themselves into the next opportunity versus
getting clear with what they're good at and what they
(27:20):
love and having the job fit into that. And it's
kind of a reverse way of thinking about it. But
I find the people I work with that take that
approach end up a bit happier. In the end.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
It makes sense because think about it, if you're jumping
straight into it your emotions and that's very even talking
about having that resilient mindset. Then if you start out
with the right mindset, then you're looking at things objectively
and one of the key things that pops out is
directing it back towards yourself. Yes, situation outside is going
(27:57):
to be horrific, like you said, sometimes it can be
a very toxic boss, but it's what could I like
you mentioned, you know, what did I contribute or what
could I learn from that? So taking those lessons else,
you bring that perspective like Okay, what is it that
I want to do next? So that's bringing that self
(28:20):
accountability is a very very key piece because then it
allows you to even trust yourself. And you talk about
trusting your gut tell us a bit more about that.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Yeah, so where I ended up now, So I did
pretty much one hundred and eighty degree change from what
I had been doing to what I'm doing now, And
those some folks that were in a very kind and
loving way asking if that was the right step, because
it was so different. And every time I had I
had to realize that when folks would question my next choice,
(28:56):
my next career for one reason or another, I had
to realize that they were most of them were coming
from a place of concern and love, and that I
had to thank them and push it to the side.
And I just had. I kept coming back to that list,
the inventory list, and the priorities, and I even went
(29:17):
so far as to you know, there's an exercise about
what are your big rocks? What are the most important
thing to you? And I'm a rock collector. Wherever I
go walking or the beach or vacation, I bring rocks back.
And I put myself together a jar that has big rocks,
little rocks, and I have written on them what's most
important to me, and I would keep it on my
desk and just refer back to it. You know, when
(29:39):
I was making decisions or considering different paths. I always
would look back and say, does that align with what
I've already declared as the most important things? And if
it doesn't, that I gave myself permission to set it
aside and refocus on what was important to me, not
someone else.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Yeah. Visual reminders definitely get you going. And it's sometimes
what happens is we're working so much on automation, and
brain does work on automation because brain is designed to
just suffice, not optimize. So when you're doing that, I
think that reminder can be so meaningful because you mentioned
(30:18):
that that walk walk, walk, so as you're walking and
as you're picking up rocks and now there is a reminder,
So there's it's almost a reinforcement of the decision or
the conversation you had with yourself.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
Absolutely yeah, and a reminder of like, okay, trust yourself,
and yes, other people will come from a place of
concern and love, and yet you're the one who's.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Living your life. And you also mentioned that you took
help of some AI, so let's talk about that, because
I can definitely say that there are a lot of
assessments that can help you with the career choices and
all that. So what of tools did you use and
if there a need that you would recommend.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Yeah, So primarily what I love to start out with
and what I did to myself. And I use this
exercise with some other folks in transition that I work with.
Is I use that exercise that I did about priorities.
I said, what am I super good at? That's bucket
number one. I put down three or four bullet points
super specific about what I really enjoy doing. In the
(31:26):
second bucket, I put down what are the things that
so I'm super good? What do I really enjoy doing?
But then the third bucket has to do with priorities
and values what's important to you from like for career transition.
There are some folks that say I want to stay
in the pharma industry, or someone else may say I
need I must work remotely because of whatever. But whatever's
(31:49):
for me, I had to work for an ethical company,
something I felt good about giving back. So when I
took all those buckets and I would leverage AI even
like a chat g can tee and there is when
you're working with it, you have to tell it who
to be, you have to give it a persona first.
If not, it's going to answer you as a generalist.
So I always tell my folks to start off with
(32:11):
a good persona. Is you're a career transition consultant or
you're a career coach, you've got twenty years experience, give
me ten jobs or titles that leverage the following, and
you can copy in your three buckets. And then I
always also tell folks to type in, you know, ask
me any questions for clarity before you begin, because then
you're asking the AI bot to refine your request before
(32:35):
it answers. And if the more specific you are about
your three buckets, the better response you're going to get.
And it could be something that's totally out of left
field that you never even thought about. And the beauty
about using AI is it's very simple to grab the
second result from the list and say, dig in, tell
(32:57):
me more about that career, and then dig into what
companies hire that type of career, what skills are needed.
So it's a great kind of intentional bunny trail, if
you will, where you start with one idea and you
could just keep digging deeper and deeper. It's been super,
super helpful for a lot of folks that I've worked in.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Oh. Absolutely, And rather than considering a as your enemy,
you know, you can use it as your executive assistant.
I mean, it can be your team, make it work
for you. So, in your experience as a career transition coach,
what are some of the teams that people like you
(33:39):
know who have been successful in lending their jobs versus
people who have struggled in lending their jobs.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Yeah. So the folks that I find that are successful quicker,
I call them landing when they land in their next opportunity.
Quicker is one They're open minded, They're open to talking
to people, and I think networking gets a really bad
wrap these days because folks are very narrow minded on
what that means. And it's honestly, it's just a connection.
(34:08):
I call it connect working. You're connecting with people on
It can even be just a random conversation. But that's
so important is being open minded on declaring what you
want and why you want it, but being open to
how that happens. And then it's through conversations a lot
of times that opportunities will surface that you aren't expecting
(34:31):
and giving running down that road at least far enough
to rule it in or rule it out. So many
folks that I find don't land quickly or they end
up somewhere that they're not happy. Is they have their
specific endpoint in mind and they're not open to any
other opportunities, so you know again, and they're not willing
(34:53):
to talk to people and have those curious conversations. So
it's super important these days. You're not asking for a job,
you just asking for connection and letting the jobs will come.
The jobs will come. But is that connection that you
need to have.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Absolutely, And that's such a powerful thing because at the
end of the day, it is still people hiring people.
And in my experience, what I've seen is that when
you have warm connections, you can reach out to them.
They're happy to introduce you to other people, they're happy
to recommend you or even learning, like you know what
the company's like, or even learning as to what their
(35:32):
experience is if that's the job that you want to pursue.
Networking can bring so many valuable assets and relationships. I mean,
for me, relationships are iceless.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, And I like to I like to tell when
I'm talking to FoST especially introverts who are really afraid
of making connections. I always tell I call it the
Safari strategy. You never want to go with them directly
right right. I met people from the side, and that
means don't always make it just about a job, and
I have to network with three people. If there's someone
(36:07):
in your sphere, find something that you can feed them,
because it's all about give and take. So find a podcast,
find a ted talk, find an article that you can
send over to him and say, hey, I just tripped
across this ted talk. You were the first person I
thought of, wonder how you're doing. Can we catch up
sometime in the next two weeks, because then you're making
about a thing, you're not making it about you, and
(36:30):
you're not asking for something you're giving, and then it'll
come back around.
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Absolutely some great pointers there, So Jen share with us.
You know where people can connect with you. What do
you offer if you have any books? Everything about yourself?
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Sure? Absolutely well. My website is Jendashford dot com and
I have started since I did get let go from
that position. I also started a book series. It's called
the Wisdom and Warnings book Series, and in the past
nine months I've published four books. Right off the bat
and It is from a collection of over my life,
those curious conversations talking to people, gathering all this wisdom,
(37:15):
and then I've kind of curated all that into different
life milestone categories. So I've put together a book on
from Divorce, Mess to Happiness all the lessons learned about
that season. And also I just put out a book
Tips from the Quad, all the wisdom about that. You
didn't did you want to give your kids about going
to college? But they're going to roll the rize. So yes,
(37:37):
I've started this Wisdom and Warning book series and then
some career coaching and you can find all that at
gendashboard dot com.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
And where can people find your books.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
You can find them on Amazon and you can just
search Wisdom and Warnings or off my website. They're all linked.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Okay, fantastic. Any last words, any last words.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
You'd like to thoughts is be kind to yourself, give
yourself some grace, trust your gut, declare your why. I
think you were talking about your why in the in
the very beginning of this episode. Getting clear on your
why and then your next step. They're going to unfold
as you as you walk. It's just be kind to yourself.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
Yes, that's a beautiful way to circle it back. Be
kind to yourself and thank you Jen for being with
us and sharing your wisdom so openly, and.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Thanks for having me. I greatly appreciated it.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Keep making the difference that you're making and I'm sure
a lot of people are going to benefit from you.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Fantastic you too.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
Thank you, Thank you well, Thank you wonderful audience for
being with us, because without you, this show would not
be possible to reach out to us. Let us know
how we can serve you and support you in your life, Johnny,
so that you can live the life you deserve. And
thank you one for making the show technically impossible.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host Via Park, we hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Divapark shares what happened to her when
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly
(39:27):
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to live the life
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www
dot dvpark dot com and you can connect with dvat
(39:47):
contact at dvapark dot com. We look forward to you
joining us next week
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