December 9, 2025 • 38 mins
In this energizing episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh is joined by PR powerhouse, brand strategist, and best-selling author KJ Blattenbauer to break down what it really takes to own your story, claim your space, and get press that actually moves your mission forward.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers who have stepped into discomfort,
shattered their status quo, and are living the life they want.
You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving
your aspirations and financial goals. Moving your career business forward
does not have to happen at the expense of your
personal or family life, or vice versa. Learn more at
(00:59):
www dot Divpork dot com and you can connect with
v at contact edts divpark dot com. This is Beyond
Confidence and now here's your host, div Park.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Good morning, listeners, It's Tuesday, and today we are going
to be talking about something special. Think about. You may
be a CEO of a company, you may be a
leader in the company, an entrepreneur, a creative agency, and
there's so much noise out there, So how do you
(01:32):
show up authentically there doesn't feel sleazy or that you're
selling yourself out.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
And that's what we'll be talking about today. So let's
welcome our guests. Hello, Welcome Kajie.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
How are you doing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm good, Thank you so much for having me. Well,
it's great to have you.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
So if you recall a moment or a person in
your early life, do you recall someone or that moment
that left a real positive mark on you.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yeah, I think, you know, I remember when he's really little,
kids were playing outside. I was at grandparents, and I
remember the boys were talking about what they wanted to
be when they grow up. They were going to be astronauts,
they were going to be cops, irean to be whatever,
And I, you know, wanted to be like my older
brother I wanted to be an astronaut. One of the
little boys said to me, girls can't do that, they
(02:23):
can't have any astronauts. And I remember I just ran
ran home to my grandpa bawling, just crying like I
can't be an astronaut, I can't whatever, you know, like
it was so crushing real I couldn't be an astronaut.
And he looked me in the face and he said,
you can be anything that you want to be. Don't
ever listen to those stupid boys. And I really think
that I took that to heart, like for the rest
(02:45):
of my life, no matter what anyone said to me,
I can do whatever I want to do. You can
do any single thing you put your mind to, no
matter if you know someone tells you no. If you
truly believe it's what you're meant to do, you don't
let anything stand in your way. And I I really
do think that talk of my grandpa changed everything for me.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
What a powerful moment, and that is the key. So
many times what happens is we are just cruising through
life not even recognizing the gifts that we get, and
we get gifts every single day and cherishing them and
carrying them forward. So as you carried that, it helped
you build your character. It helped you build you. That
(03:30):
is unique. So tell us as you grew up, which
direction did your life take? Which where was your career.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
So I'm from a very small town in North Dakota,
more cows than people. So growing up, you know, you
were kind of limited. Like most people were farmers. My
dad was a lawyer. Some people were doctors, some people
have boutiques. It's very limited what you were going to do,
what you were going to be. I took the attitude
test before I went to college, and they were like,
you'd be a great administrative assistant. And I thought, that's
(03:59):
not how the story is going to and that is
not what I want to do with my life. Went
to law school, hated my classes, hated arguing, hated every
part of it. And so I got an internship in
public relations that I loved everything about it. I love
one I love talking, I love people, I love hearing
their stories. But really I just love people who are
courageous in the underdog and they believe in something so
(04:20):
fiercely that they go make it, or they create a
service board, or they create a whole industry because of it,
and I think that that is just magical, and so
that's kind of my villain origin story.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I guess, well, that's a beautiful story, right, Like you
just didn't let that aptitude like okay, here's we are
thinking where you fall under. You didn't let that define you.
And that is so critical because yes, and I don't
get me wrong, I use assessments all the time in
my coaching practice, and yet I always tell people listen,
(04:54):
these give you an inkling, but they do not define you.
You know you the best. So sounds like you know,
you came into this industry and you fell in love
with it, So tell us more about like girls. So
from that internship to where you are today.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Sure, so I learned the ins and outs of everything,
and at the time, I thought, you know what, I
want to be in front of the camera. I want
to be the next verbal Walters. I want to interview people.
I want to pull their stories out from them. I
want to be famous. I want lights, camera, action, the
make up, the whole nine, Like, give me the Emmys,
give me the awards, give me all of the things.
And then I had a chance to be in front
of the camera once and the insecurities that come out,
(05:38):
the criticism, the people who have commentary about how you
look or what you did, or the faces you made,
all the things soul crushing, literally soul crushing, so much
so that it put me probably fifteen I spent the
next fifteen years behind the camera helping people, not wanting
to get in front of it, not doing interviews like this,
silently helping people do those things, encourage them to do
(05:59):
those things, but keeping myself behind the scenes because I
was worried about what people would think. I was worried
about what people would think of me. I was worried
about their criticisms. I didn't believe in myself enough. And
I think that that's a huge mindset shift that needs
to be changed for everyone, me then me, now founders
moving forward. You know, visibility isn't vanity, it isn't about
(06:20):
wanting to be famous. It's survival, and it's coming from
a place of service. I think most founders, and myself included,
we were waiting for permission to be seen. We were
waiting for permission to be visible, and that's a completely
losing strategy. Visibility is a leadership skill. Stepping in front
of the camera stepping out and promoting your voice, sharing
your gifts with the world, your skills with the world,
(06:40):
your service with the world. If people can't find you,
they can't hire you, they can't change their lives with
your services or your products. And I think the misconception
is that you have to compromise your values or become
a character of yourself to get attention. But the real
truth is that the most respected people in the industry
are visible because they're consistent, because they're loud, not because
(07:01):
they're performing, not because they're Kardashian sharing everything I think
it's being seen. Does it require selling out, It just
requires showing up with attention that's tied to your values.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I love that, Okaj, because that's what I believe in
as well. And that's not just saying that you cannot
share it out. You know, it can be different. Everybody
can have different thoughts and opinions. But that said, you know,
if you look at at least ninety five percent of
the people out of most of the people, people don't
(07:36):
like getting on cameras, and you mentioned that it was
hard because people are sitting there and that critique and
that imposter syndrome does get in your way, and here's
I'll share my story like I share it openly, Like
you know, you put me in front of fifteen thousand
or even fifty thousand people, I'm good. I can do it.
But when I sit in that cold camera on my
(08:00):
laptop without anybody there, I mean, if you're sitting there
with me, yes, I'm all about because you know we're interacting.
There's that human interaction.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
So I want to like kind of start.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Out with that, is that in today's day in world,
if you look at LinkedIn or Instagram or TikTok, it's
all about getting on camera. Doesn't matter whether it's that
somebody is filming you or you're filming yourself. And I
have seen so many youngsters and the millennials and Gen
(08:32):
zs like you know, come up with such innovative ways
where they're filming themselves all over. So you brought up
such a great point that getting on camera, I mean,
even to this day, I can do it because it's
important to get out of a discomfort zone. I still
don't like it. So it's you know, there could be
(08:52):
a small company or a mid size company, and like
now the founder does need to get in front of
the camera, and they have to sit down and show
up who they are because you mentioned something so powerful
that you're doing a disservice to other people.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
How can they get started? Well, I think the first
thing is a mindset shift. I think the very first
thing you need to know is who you are before
you even open your mouth.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
And that can be the.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Same for sharing on social media and not being in
front of the camera, but especially if you're in front
of the camera, whether you're in front of a group
of five thousand, five hundred and fifty five or zero.
I think most people where they break trust is that
they perform instead of presenting who they truly are. You know,
define your core narrative. What do you want to be
known for? What's your lane? Why are you even stepping
(09:37):
in front of a camera. I think people don't respect
founders who shape shift one day or this another day,
or that no one knows what you stand for. I
think people respect founders who give them clarity, consistent nor
star same message all the time. And I think your
message should be recognizable even if someone strips your name
off of it, so much so that you know when
people say let them, we all associate it with mel
(09:59):
Robbins right now. So I think it's something that line
authority isn't built by saying more. It's built by saying
the same things with death, with feeling, and coming from
a place of service. And I think that you know,
kids these days might know how to TikTok better that
I know how to TikTok. But I know me, and
I know I don't want it TikTok. But I also
know that I know public relations inside outside. There is
(10:22):
no situation you can throw me into that I won't
have a solution for that I won't have guidance for.
And I know if I step in front of the
camera and zero people show up to my Instagram live
or two thousand people show up to my Instagram Live,
I'm coming there to help even just one person, and
that's all I need to do. You know, people spend
so much time on vanity metrics about numbers and what
(10:43):
they're doing and who's going to like this and what
they're going to think. If fifteen hundred people like my
Instagram post, that would be awesome. I would be so
happy happy. If fifteen hundred people were following me on
the street, I would be scared, and I would be
hiring security, might be calling the police, and I think
we have to put that into perspect We have here
to serve all of the people. It would be great
if we could, you know, but if you want all
(11:07):
the money in the world, great, go for all the
money in the world. But at the same time, if
you can just start a ripple effect of working with
one person, focusing on one person, serving one person, and
then that person tells another person, then it spreads to
another person, that ripple effect is going to do more
for you than if you were trying to follow all
the trends just to get fifty eyeballs at once. You
want the right people to be attracted to what you're doing,
(11:28):
and I think part of that is you got to
share like a human, not a headline, right Like, you
don't need a rags to riches story or a traumatic
ted talk. You need specific experience that shape how you think.
You need clean opinions and frameworks that people can actually
take and use and apply in their daily life. You
need a point of view that's constructive and not just performative.
(11:50):
Prefer porn as sakes. You know, what never works is
manufactured vulnerability or pity marketing trend hopping. People see right
through it, like you can't follow the trends forever. It
shows no doubt and once the trend is over there
like what is the point of this person? Like where's
their substance? And I think over a polished like brand
speak that feels inauthentic or industry jargon. Your real story
(12:11):
is already interesting enough no matter what it is. You
don't need to distort it to be worthy of camera
time or people following you or winning awards or applying
for that speaking gig or that grant or anything.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Absolutely, and what you said touch my heart because we
all get caught up so initially, like you know, when
we going back to my camera story, as I was
doing it, I'm like, hmm, I can do a live
with two people, and if I want to do a live,
I'll do it. I'm not going to have all the
(12:47):
shenanigans and all that. I'm just going to show up
as who I'm and if people like it, fine, because
we are here. We're here to serve. As you mentioned,
we are not here to please everyone, because if you
kind of get into that mode, you cannot show up.
And now I'm having these wonderful conversations, bringing great information
(13:09):
for my audience, and that gives me more joy than
just kind of showing up. So as you're talking about
find your narrative, then it's important then whatever works for you.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
There's no right or own right right right right, And
I think I also think it's important to know that
you don't have to overshare right to be visible, you
know what I mean? Like again, you don't have to
be you don't have to have your own reality TV show.
I'm not asking you to audition for and gravo like,
boundaries are also a visibility strategy. I'm a huge I'm
real good at boundaries. I love a good boundary. Right,
(13:40):
So you don't have to share everything to be credible.
Decide what's public, Decide what's private, Decide what's sacred before
you go on television, on Instagram, on anything before you share.
Decide what's just for you, and decide what's for everyone else.
You can say no to platforms, you can say no
to partnerships. You can say no to conversations that are
going to dilute your expertise or make you feel less
(14:02):
than or just don't seem to fit like what your
overall goal is audiences respect clear boundaries. The media respects
them even more honestly, And I think respect is a
bright product, a byproduct of strong boundaries. It's respect is
a byproduct of not being endlessly available. You know, if
you had your show morning, noon, and night, your listeners
(14:24):
might take it for granted. But they know that they
can tune in. When they can tune in, and they
can get solid information, they can hear from great experts,
and they get to hear from you. And I think
that that is is proof that boundaries work.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Oh absolutely, And because if you're putting that boundaries, you're
being authentic in that. And you said that you know
you cannot like fake things, so the best way to
be authentic is to be your shelf. And then again,
I really like what you said about like you know,
what is sacred to you that what do you want
(14:57):
to share? So it's not like you cannot build brands
just by being totally vulnerable or anything like that. I
mean nothing wrong with that. It's again, how do you
want to show up? How do you want to be seen?
And a lot of times, you know, as we talk
about brand, we talk about managing the perception. So for
our audience. You know a lot of people come from
(15:17):
tech background and engineering background, or you know they've gotten
no clues about the pr So how would you we've
talked about the mindset shift, what would be some of
the practical aspects that you could share that would help
them position themselves.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Well, I think one of the first practical ways, especially
in the tech world, is I think you have to
lead with value, not validation. Right, if your goal is approval,
you're always going to feel pressure to sell out. And
I think you have to focus on You have to
decide what you're going to focus on, right, So you
need to make sure you're either teaching something to someone
so they can learn it, You're reframing something so they
(15:57):
can understand it. You're challenging something like the status quo
or an industry or a social norm, or you're simplifying something.
You're making their life easier. And I think your value
becomes undeniable when your ideas help people, even in small ways.
And I think that's the first step. Authority grows when
people can point to your work and say, Okay, that
helped me. That's good, that's what I need. But I
(16:19):
also think a huge practical implication is consistency, because we
are not good at this as human beings. Right, Like
we all think, if we want to have you know,
a new year, new us, come January first. If we
go to the gym on January first, by January second,
we're going to have those six pack ams. And that
is not sadly how it works. Trust me, I've tried.
But if you want to you know, if you want
(16:40):
to get in shape, if you want to be healthy,
you have to eat right every single day. Right, you
have to go to the gym, you have to work out,
you have to follow a routine, and consistency is the
ultimate flex. It carries over in the business world too,
especially in being visible and public relations. You don't need
to be everywhere, but you need to show up where
it matters repeatedly, right, Like pick your platform with intention.
Don't you be on air? Everyone? Just pick one. You
(17:01):
got to commit to a cadence that's sustainable for you,
and then you have to stop reinvented your image every
ninety days, like be consistent for ninety days. You can
do it because consistency is going to read is confidence.
You're going to get more and more consistent as you
show up more and more confident. As you show up,
the confidence is going to read his credibility. People are
going to start following you, knowing what you're about. They're
(17:22):
going to be like, oh, this person knows what they're
talking about. They've been talking about it for days, right,
and it actually makes sense, and that credibility is going
to get your respect. So if you want to be unforgettable,
if you want to be visible, you've got to be consistent,
not chaotic, and not all over the place.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
That definitely makes sense. And you also talk about strategic storytelling,
so tell us what can be the different elements and
how it can be woven into day to day social
media or like, you know, getting the attention of the audience.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Well, I think I think one caveat we should touch
on because before we even dive into that is that
it's okay to have an opinion, Like it's okay to
have an opinion. Being respective requires having clear stamps on
something in your industry. And I think people trust expertise,
they trust pattern recognition, and they trust the willingness to
say what others are only hinting at or like saying
the quiet part out loud. Right, Like, you don't to
(18:14):
be controversial, you don't have to have a hot button issue,
but I think you need to be clear because neutrality
isn't going to build authority, but point of view definitely will.
And I think if you want to do pr without
selling out, if you want to have like a simple
breakdown of what you need to do, you need to
be seen. That's the first thing, right, show up consistently
on one platform with a recognizable message for ninety days.
(18:38):
I'm not saying ninety days in a row, but I'm
saying routinely for ninety days. Set up your system, then
be heard, share stories and insight that make your audience smarter.
And it doesn't even have to just be things that
you created. It can be an article that backs up
what you just said. It can be an article that's
contrarian to what you just said, and then you can
prove why you think that article is wrong. You know,
(18:58):
it can be fast or or stats or something else
that backs up what you're said. So first, you're going
to be seen consistently, and second you're going to be
heard by sharing stories and insight that make your audience smarter.
The third thing is be respected. Hold your boundaries, stay
in your lane. Lead with value, not theatrics, right, Like,
you're here provide value. You're coming from a place of service.
(19:20):
You're not trying to get an oscar for best dramatic performance. Right.
So be seen, be heard, be respected, because visibility done well,
it's not performative. It's one hundred percent principled.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
And that definitely resonates with me because to me, at
the end of the day, when you're looking at your
shelf in the mirror, it's like, Okay, did you live biovaluage?
Did you live bioprinciples? Then that is so critical and
that will come through. So, for example, one of my
(19:56):
clients had posted something that was you know, contrary too,
so just kind of want to have your thoughts on that.
She posted something that was her opinion and it was
contrary to the mainstream beliefs, and a lot of people
gave her like a nasty comment. So this is click
(20:17):
and bait and this was this and all that. And
as we were doing coaching, like during one of the things,
and I told her, like, you know, what's your principle
if this happened in person, Like how would you deal
with it? And she said, like you know, I would
just kind of politely say, Okay, you have your opinion,
I haven't. We just just you know, we respectfully disagree
and let's move on. And that's exactly what she did.
(20:39):
So that is one of the ways of handling the
negative because it's going to happen. What are some of
the other ways that people because people get scared, right, Like,
you know, you've put out your heart, you have your opinion,
and now you're getting all these negative feedback and people
are attacking you.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Yeah. Well, I mean there's a hue vulnerability in being visible.
It truly is whether it's you're an artist and you
put your art out there, you're an author and you
put your book out there, you're a coach, you put
your opinion out there. Truly, anything, there's a vulnerability there.
And we're human beings and I don't care how tough
you are on the exterior, we're all soft and squishy
on the inside.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
It hurts. Words hurt.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
People can be very savage, especially online. I think a
part of it is to remember that hiding behind a keyboard.
No one has more courage than a person that hides
behind a keyboard. Like when you said, what would you do.
If these people set it to your face, most of
them wouldn't. They wouldn't have the courage too, they wouldn't
act that way. But hidden behind a keyboard, it creates
this person. I'm a firm believer. For my clients and
(21:41):
for myself, I do not punch down when a troll
comes for me and they have something to say. That
means I'm on the right track. It means I've hit
a nerve.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
You either want to repel the people that aren't for
you or you want to attract the people that are
for you. And one of the first rules in business
I learned from one of my lawyers is you're nobody
until someone comes for you, whether that's a lawsuit or
with negative energy. Right, So that means you're getting somewhere.
Your visibility is striking your nerves. So congratulations. Like if
you have your first roll, if you have your negative comments,
(22:11):
is that is like a baptism by fire for any
entrepreneur person. Right, But the first thing is does it
matter is what they're saying. Does it offend you because
it's true or does it offend you because it's just offensive?
Some people, if you look at their comment history, just
like to argue with strangers online. Don't punch down, don't
(22:31):
feed the troll. That's my biggest thing. I don't respond
unless it's something that's totally incorrect. Then I try and
give them one calm, fact based neutral Well, actually you
misquoted that, and it's such and such, or here's the
study that backs it up. You know, I try to
be helpful so I can educate the masses, just not
that person. If they keep coming for me, I'm just
(22:51):
going to disengage, because what do I get out of
arguing with a weirdo online? Like when you argue with
an idiot, then you have two idiots, right. Nobody wants
to wins in situation, and so I kind of just
try and move on from it. If someone keeps harassing me,
if they create different accounts, then I block them. And
at a certain point, if it's truly slander or libel,
(23:12):
then that's what lawyers are for. And lawyers are a
wonderful to world if you're in business.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Those are some really really good thoughts, and because as
you mentioned, then why engage with them? Now? Another question
that you know a lot of people may have on
their minds is that when something like this happens, and
as you said, that, don't do it so it makes
(23:42):
them hesitant to share their opinions. What would be like,
you know, some of the couple of mental things or
mindset things or encouraging things.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
You would tell them, well, my biggest thing is you've
put your heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears, maybe all
of your money into your business, your idea, your product
or art, your service, whatever it may be. You've gotten
it to the finish line. It's out there in the world.
Why would you not brag about that and share that?
Why would you not let every person you created said product,
service offering for know about it. You're just sharing this
(24:15):
cool thing you created with other people who are going
to think it's cool. And yeah, there might be a
Debbie Downer who won't think it's cool. That's not your person.
Go find where your people are. Like. They created comic
Con for a reason, because people who like comic books
want to nerd out with other people who like comic books.
Will I ever go to comic Con? No, I don't
get it. I respect what they're doing, I respect what
(24:35):
they've built. I respect the commitment of a people who
dress up and go for all those days, right, So
I think it's you just have to know your audience
and your lane and realize you're not ice cream, and
there's some people who don't like ice cream. You're not
going to please everyone. No one's going to be happy
all the time. I'm perfectly fine not being everyone's cup
of tea. I know the people that I serve, and
I know if I don't get in front of the camera,
(24:57):
I know if I don't share what I know, if
I don't come from a place of service, those small businesses,
those founders, the people whose stories need to be told,
who need eyeballs on their products or services, They're not
going to get the help that they need. And so
I'm dimming my light and not sharing my gift. I'm
hurting other people and that's just selfish, and that I
think is the first mindset shift that needs to be made.
(25:19):
You have a gift, You've created something, You created it
for a reason. You owe it to yourself and the
people that you created what you created for, to serve them,
to tell them all about it, because it's not about
me as a person. In kJ it's not about you
as a person, it's not about them as a founder.
It's about who they can serve, which is why they
did all the things that they did to get to
this spot. And I think they have to remember that
(25:41):
it's not about you. It's about helping.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Absolutely, and that definitely lands with people that you know,
don't shrink because of one person or something like that.
And these are the moments, and these are the times
when you'll have to experience that discomfort. And it's okay
because when you experience that discomfort, see that as a
(26:09):
growth opportunity and moving one step beyond and that can
become a story in itself. So coming back to the
strategic storytelling, can you tell us, like, you know, what
are some of the elements that usually resonate with people.
If you have some examples, any frameworks that would be great. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Well, I think there is a reason why you have
your show. There's a reason why I'm in pr there's
a reason why Bob down the Street started a bakery.
That origin story, no matter what it is, no matter
how small, no matter how insignificant we think it is,
it's a story that's going to inspire other people. I
think you start there. You start with your origin story,
the why behind what you created, made, or established, always, always,
(26:53):
always lead with that story. Then I think there's point
in time things like evergreen. You know, like it's the
end of the year. People are closing out things, they're
settling into routines, or they're dealing with family, or they
get to celebrate family, right, all those things. If your
business touches those, make sure that you have end of
the year stories that you can share on the flip side.
In a couple of days, it'll be the beginning of
(27:14):
a year and you can have beginning of the year
stories and why do people need your product, service or
offering at the beginning of the year. Those times you know,
mother's day, Father's Day, summer, back to school, fall, start
a sports seasons. Those are all evergreen things that are
come around time after time after time. You can be
replaying and promoting your business, your product, your service based
(27:36):
on those points in time, because truly, what the media
wants to see is a unique story. They want to
know why, why this is cool, why it's unique. Then
they want to know why now why is it timely
right this second? Well, if you know you're evergreen hooks,
you're golding right, rybe your friend or maybe something the
government did or maybe something that happened in the news
(27:57):
or Hollywood, those sorts of things. That's why now. So
it's why is this important? Why now? And then you
have to look at who your audience is. Why is
it important for this audience? If you're local, why is
this important for your local audience? Like I'm in Dallas,
would why is anything I'm doing right now important for
my local audience in Dallas?
Speaker 4 (28:15):
You know?
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Why is anything important for a local audience in Philadelphia?
Make it? Why is it important for a national audience?
And those things they tie into the evergreen theme. But
also it's not rocket science. It's why why now? Why
does it matter to this group of people? Those are
the simple things that you need to know when you're
pitching your stories.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
M that is, those are really some good tips that
our audience can take and implement straight away. So now
you know, there are always questions. There's local news where
you can get on, and then there is national news,
and there are those so called major media outlets like
(28:57):
you know, Forbes, and then a whole lot like a
brand and the local So can you share like you know,
if somebody is just kind of starting out where they
should focus and as the advance, how can they approach
those large media outlets.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Sure where they should focus is what their goal is.
That tells you everything you need to know. Right when
I meet with every single person, the first thing I
ask them is what would be a success. What would
be success for you a year from now? What media
outlets signifies success for you? Nine times out of ten
they're going to tell me Oprah, And then I have
to break their hearts and say Oprah hasn't had a
show in over a decade. So I don't know have
(29:35):
to tell you, guys, you're not even watching Oprah. But
I get I hear you. Oprah is a big name.
But I think it's your goal. Whatever your overall goal
is is going to shape the media outlets you reach
out to, whether you start with those big major broadcast
networks or whether you start locally. So I have a
book coming out right in January, and so for me,
I want to reach business owners all over the world
(29:56):
that I know need help with storytelling and public relations expertise.
That's podcasts. I'm going to skip my local news, I'm
going to skip the Forbes and the major outlets. I'm
gonna go to podcasts. I'm gonna be on every single
podcast I can that focuses on my audience and my niche.
I'm gonna get my story out there. I'm not going
to worry about having the big, splashing headlines. I'm not
(30:16):
going to worry abouting that. I'm worrying about how many
free shows I can do to give free advice, for
pr to get people to buy my book for a
dollar when it comes out. So that's where I'm going.
If you're a local company or like a restaurant, obviously,
being in Forbes it probably would be cool. It's not
going to help you fill your restaurant. Being on the
local news going to help you fill your restaurant. Talking
(30:39):
to local influencers, being featured on local blogs. That's where
you should be spending your time. If you're a business coach,
if you're a you know, if you want to speak
on more stages, yeah, you should focus on outlets in
your area of expertise, right like, whether it's the tech sector,
whether it's you know, the grease sector. But yeah, then
(31:00):
you should be in for the Forbes and those like that.
It helps build credibility, but it's baby steps for all
of us. Some people might get lucky and they might
pitch Forbes the first time and be in there. Some
people it might take ten years, it might take more,
they might never get there. But it has to be
right for your audience. Right now, Forbes is not the
right audience for me. For my audience, I'm skipping them,
you know, and I think so many people are like,
(31:21):
but you have to be in Forbes. It's a business publication.
You don't have to be anywhere that your audience isn't.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
And that goes back to what you mentioned about what's
your goal, Because if your goal is to reach those founders,
reach those people who need your services, then you're showing
up where they're already there.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
You're leveraging platforms, you're leveraging outlets that are already serving
your clients. And that makes it so much easier and
it well maybe not easier, but makes more sense because
reaching your audience directly, because I'm sure even with Forbes
and any media outlets that you see hundreds and hundreds
(32:07):
of there's so much noise and so as we talk about, like,
you know, there's so much noise that yes, you could
be on fifty different platforms how do you tone that
into a signal?
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Well, I think it's messaging. It's what you want to
be known for, right. I want to be the person
that helps small businesses and founders know how to do
public relations. I want them to step into the spotlight
and know what visibility is. That it's not vanity, it's
leadership and its strategy and they have to have it right.
So it's being very clear about where I want up here.
It's being very clear about my messaging, and it's never
(32:42):
straying from that. If you go anywhere and search my
name or if you hopefully google anything public relations related,
I come up and it's consistent across all platforms, my website,
when I'm in interviews, when I am social media presence,
down to my LinkedIn, same bio, same headshots, same messaging consistency.
(33:03):
And that's how you break through the noise. You become
the many many touch points people need to trust by
no and like you, you create those through one all
the platforms you already have that you create, but then
by appearing on shows like this, it gives you an
extra boost of credibility. It gives you extra touch points,
like people might watch the show once it's going to
(33:24):
live forever on the internet. They might be able to
tune in years from now and see the same thing.
Guess what, The messages aren't going to have changed. I'll
feel the same way in ten years about visibility as
I do now, and I'll probably give people the same advice.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
And so, okay, this is great because you're also talking
about the longuvity. So first thing, like you mentioned about
is the consistency that if you're consistent, then you know
whatever your audience is getting your information or wherever they're
becoming up there, So it kind of takes them through
that buyer's journey that okay, like okay, like oh they're
(34:02):
aware like hey, kJ is principled and she really kind
of digs into values and all that that's my kind
of person. And from there, like you know, it creates
that an interest because they're listening to the same message
that is consistent. So that's really really powerful and it
helps people to not get overwholmed. Now, what are like
(34:27):
you know some of the like you know two or
three things, you have almost so many years, like you know,
like almost thirty years of experience based on what I
know about you, What would you say at three to
five things that they should not be doing. We've talked
a lot about what they should be doing.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
What are those like?
Speaker 4 (34:47):
No, no no, you don't even touch that.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
For me, the no no nos are the first. No
no no is anything that's not going to help you
reach your goal, anything that's not going to help move
you forward where you want to be and what you
want to achieve. It's great to do all the things,
that's the quickest path to burnout. Like, you don't need
to be everywhere all the time doing all the things.
You need to pick a platform, you need to pick
(35:12):
your messages, You need to know what your goal is.
Anything else falls by the wayside state a path. The
second thing not to do do not pay for media.
Do not pay for attention, do not pay for press placement.
None of those things. I see it all the time.
People are like, oh, I can be featured in New
York's Top Doctors. It's only one thousand dollars. Blah blah
(35:32):
blah blah blah. No, don't do that. The ROI is
not there. You do not pay for reputable media outlets.
You do not pay for the placement there. That is
an advertising thing. It shows up as an advertising thing.
There are a million free publicity things out there where
you wouldn't have to pay for outside of buying my book,
outside of paying for a publicist. The great thing about
(35:54):
public relations is it's free. The media needs your story.
They need to cover things. They need to see videos.
They need to feature things that their audience and viewers
find interesting. Podcast hosts can talk all they want to
in single episodes, but they need to interview people. They
need to bring an experts. You're an expert, you might
have a product, you might have a service. Take advantage
(36:14):
of that free opportunity. Never ever ever pay for press.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Okay, well, thank you. You know this has been very valuable.
Share with us. Where can our audience reach out to you?
How can they connect with you?
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Sure, you can find me on my website hearsaypr dot com.
And if you want to work on your visibility, I
have a freebee there. It's called a Visibility Workbook and
that's heresaypr dot com backslash freebie. Or you can talk
to me anytime on Instagram at kJ Blattenbauer.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Well fantastic, Any last thoughts that you might have.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I just want to encourage all of your listeners that
visibility is not vanity, It's a leadership skill, and I
need you to do one thing today to make yourself
a little bit more visible, whether it's fixing your bio
across all platforms or finally getting up the courage to
pitch yourself to media outlet or to show up on camera.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
Fantastic. Well, thank you, kJ and we wish you all
the best for your upcoming book because I'm or it's
going to be value packed, just like our conversation was
value packed. Thank you for joining us, and thank you
wonderful audience, because without you, the show would not be possible.
We love you reach out to us like as you
(37:35):
always do and let us know how can we serve
and support you to live the best life you can.
And thank you one for being a tech genius, Take care.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host d V Park, we hope you have learned more
about how to start living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people
who've experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Dvpark shares what happened to her when
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly
(38:08):
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to live the life
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dot dwpark dot com and you can connect with DWAT
(38:28):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence, you will hear real
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You will learn how relationships are the key to achieving
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(00:59):
www dot Divpork dot com and you can connect with
v at contact edts divpark dot com. This is Beyond
Confidence and now here's your host, div Park.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Good morning, listeners, It's Tuesday, and today we are going
to be talking about something special. Think about. You may
be a CEO of a company, you may be a
leader in the company, an entrepreneur, a creative agency, and
there's so much noise out there, So how do you
(01:32):
show up authentically there doesn't feel sleazy or that you're
selling yourself out.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
And that's what we'll be talking about today. So let's
welcome our guests. Hello, Welcome Kajie.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
How are you doing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm good, Thank you so much for having me. Well,
it's great to have you.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
So if you recall a moment or a person in
your early life, do you recall someone or that moment
that left a real positive mark on you.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yeah, I think, you know, I remember when he's really little,
kids were playing outside. I was at grandparents, and I
remember the boys were talking about what they wanted to
be when they grow up. They were going to be astronauts,
they were going to be cops, irean to be whatever,
And I, you know, wanted to be like my older
brother I wanted to be an astronaut. One of the
little boys said to me, girls can't do that, they
(02:23):
can't have any astronauts. And I remember I just ran
ran home to my grandpa bawling, just crying like I
can't be an astronaut, I can't whatever, you know, like
it was so crushing real I couldn't be an astronaut.
And he looked me in the face and he said,
you can be anything that you want to be. Don't
ever listen to those stupid boys. And I really think
that I took that to heart, like for the rest
(02:45):
of my life, no matter what anyone said to me,
I can do whatever I want to do. You can
do any single thing you put your mind to, no
matter if you know someone tells you no. If you
truly believe it's what you're meant to do, you don't
let anything stand in your way. And I I really
do think that talk of my grandpa changed everything for me.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
What a powerful moment, and that is the key. So
many times what happens is we are just cruising through
life not even recognizing the gifts that we get, and
we get gifts every single day and cherishing them and
carrying them forward. So as you carried that, it helped
you build your character. It helped you build you. That
(03:30):
is unique. So tell us as you grew up, which
direction did your life take? Which where was your career.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
So I'm from a very small town in North Dakota,
more cows than people. So growing up, you know, you
were kind of limited. Like most people were farmers. My
dad was a lawyer. Some people were doctors, some people
have boutiques. It's very limited what you were going to do,
what you were going to be. I took the attitude
test before I went to college, and they were like,
you'd be a great administrative assistant. And I thought, that's
(03:59):
not how the story is going to and that is
not what I want to do with my life. Went
to law school, hated my classes, hated arguing, hated every
part of it. And so I got an internship in
public relations that I loved everything about it. I love
one I love talking, I love people, I love hearing
their stories. But really I just love people who are
courageous in the underdog and they believe in something so
(04:20):
fiercely that they go make it, or they create a
service board, or they create a whole industry because of it,
and I think that that is just magical, and so
that's kind of my villain origin story.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I guess, well, that's a beautiful story, right, Like you
just didn't let that aptitude like okay, here's we are
thinking where you fall under. You didn't let that define you.
And that is so critical because yes, and I don't
get me wrong, I use assessments all the time in
my coaching practice, and yet I always tell people listen,
(04:54):
these give you an inkling, but they do not define you.
You know you the best. So sounds like you know,
you came into this industry and you fell in love
with it, So tell us more about like girls. So
from that internship to where you are today.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Sure, so I learned the ins and outs of everything,
and at the time, I thought, you know what, I
want to be in front of the camera. I want
to be the next verbal Walters. I want to interview people.
I want to pull their stories out from them. I
want to be famous. I want lights, camera, action, the
make up, the whole nine, Like, give me the Emmys,
give me the awards, give me all of the things.
And then I had a chance to be in front
of the camera once and the insecurities that come out,
(05:38):
the criticism, the people who have commentary about how you
look or what you did, or the faces you made,
all the things soul crushing, literally soul crushing, so much
so that it put me probably fifteen I spent the
next fifteen years behind the camera helping people, not wanting
to get in front of it, not doing interviews like this,
silently helping people do those things, encourage them to do
(05:59):
those things, but keeping myself behind the scenes because I
was worried about what people would think. I was worried
about what people would think of me. I was worried
about their criticisms. I didn't believe in myself enough. And
I think that that's a huge mindset shift that needs
to be changed for everyone, me then me, now founders
moving forward. You know, visibility isn't vanity, it isn't about
(06:20):
wanting to be famous. It's survival, and it's coming from
a place of service. I think most founders, and myself included,
we were waiting for permission to be seen. We were
waiting for permission to be visible, and that's a completely
losing strategy. Visibility is a leadership skill. Stepping in front
of the camera stepping out and promoting your voice, sharing
your gifts with the world, your skills with the world,
(06:40):
your service with the world. If people can't find you,
they can't hire you, they can't change their lives with
your services or your products. And I think the misconception
is that you have to compromise your values or become
a character of yourself to get attention. But the real
truth is that the most respected people in the industry
are visible because they're consistent, because they're loud, not because
(07:01):
they're performing, not because they're Kardashian sharing everything I think
it's being seen. Does it require selling out, It just
requires showing up with attention that's tied to your values.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I love that, Okaj, because that's what I believe in
as well. And that's not just saying that you cannot
share it out. You know, it can be different. Everybody
can have different thoughts and opinions. But that said, you know,
if you look at at least ninety five percent of
the people out of most of the people, people don't
(07:36):
like getting on cameras, and you mentioned that it was
hard because people are sitting there and that critique and
that imposter syndrome does get in your way, and here's
I'll share my story like I share it openly, Like
you know, you put me in front of fifteen thousand
or even fifty thousand people, I'm good. I can do it.
But when I sit in that cold camera on my
(08:00):
laptop without anybody there, I mean, if you're sitting there
with me, yes, I'm all about because you know we're interacting.
There's that human interaction.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
So I want to like kind of start.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Out with that, is that in today's day in world,
if you look at LinkedIn or Instagram or TikTok, it's
all about getting on camera. Doesn't matter whether it's that
somebody is filming you or you're filming yourself. And I
have seen so many youngsters and the millennials and Gen
(08:32):
zs like you know, come up with such innovative ways
where they're filming themselves all over. So you brought up
such a great point that getting on camera, I mean,
even to this day, I can do it because it's
important to get out of a discomfort zone. I still
don't like it. So it's you know, there could be
(08:52):
a small company or a mid size company, and like
now the founder does need to get in front of
the camera, and they have to sit down and show
up who they are because you mentioned something so powerful
that you're doing a disservice to other people.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
How can they get started? Well, I think the first
thing is a mindset shift. I think the very first
thing you need to know is who you are before
you even open your mouth.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
And that can be the.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Same for sharing on social media and not being in
front of the camera, but especially if you're in front
of the camera, whether you're in front of a group
of five thousand, five hundred and fifty five or zero.
I think most people where they break trust is that
they perform instead of presenting who they truly are. You know,
define your core narrative. What do you want to be
known for? What's your lane? Why are you even stepping
(09:37):
in front of a camera. I think people don't respect
founders who shape shift one day or this another day,
or that no one knows what you stand for. I
think people respect founders who give them clarity, consistent nor
star same message all the time. And I think your
message should be recognizable even if someone strips your name
off of it, so much so that you know when
people say let them, we all associate it with mel
(09:59):
Robbins right now. So I think it's something that line
authority isn't built by saying more. It's built by saying
the same things with death, with feeling, and coming from
a place of service. And I think that you know,
kids these days might know how to TikTok better that
I know how to TikTok. But I know me, and
I know I don't want it TikTok. But I also
know that I know public relations inside outside. There is
(10:22):
no situation you can throw me into that I won't
have a solution for that I won't have guidance for.
And I know if I step in front of the
camera and zero people show up to my Instagram live
or two thousand people show up to my Instagram Live,
I'm coming there to help even just one person, and
that's all I need to do. You know, people spend
so much time on vanity metrics about numbers and what
(10:43):
they're doing and who's going to like this and what
they're going to think. If fifteen hundred people like my
Instagram post, that would be awesome. I would be so
happy happy. If fifteen hundred people were following me on
the street, I would be scared, and I would be
hiring security, might be calling the police, and I think
we have to put that into perspect We have here
to serve all of the people. It would be great
if we could, you know, but if you want all
(11:07):
the money in the world, great, go for all the
money in the world. But at the same time, if
you can just start a ripple effect of working with
one person, focusing on one person, serving one person, and
then that person tells another person, then it spreads to
another person, that ripple effect is going to do more
for you than if you were trying to follow all
the trends just to get fifty eyeballs at once. You
want the right people to be attracted to what you're doing,
(11:28):
and I think part of that is you got to
share like a human, not a headline, right Like, you
don't need a rags to riches story or a traumatic
ted talk. You need specific experience that shape how you think.
You need clean opinions and frameworks that people can actually
take and use and apply in their daily life. You
need a point of view that's constructive and not just performative.
(11:50):
Prefer porn as sakes. You know, what never works is
manufactured vulnerability or pity marketing trend hopping. People see right
through it, like you can't follow the trends forever. It
shows no doubt and once the trend is over there
like what is the point of this person? Like where's
their substance? And I think over a polished like brand
speak that feels inauthentic or industry jargon. Your real story
(12:11):
is already interesting enough no matter what it is. You
don't need to distort it to be worthy of camera
time or people following you or winning awards or applying
for that speaking gig or that grant or anything.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Absolutely, and what you said touch my heart because we
all get caught up so initially, like you know, when
we going back to my camera story, as I was
doing it, I'm like, hmm, I can do a live
with two people, and if I want to do a live,
I'll do it. I'm not going to have all the
(12:47):
shenanigans and all that. I'm just going to show up
as who I'm and if people like it, fine, because
we are here. We're here to serve. As you mentioned,
we are not here to please everyone, because if you
kind of get into that mode, you cannot show up.
And now I'm having these wonderful conversations, bringing great information
(13:09):
for my audience, and that gives me more joy than
just kind of showing up. So as you're talking about
find your narrative, then it's important then whatever works for you.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
There's no right or own right right right right, And
I think I also think it's important to know that
you don't have to overshare right to be visible, you
know what I mean? Like again, you don't have to
be you don't have to have your own reality TV show.
I'm not asking you to audition for and gravo like,
boundaries are also a visibility strategy. I'm a huge I'm
real good at boundaries. I love a good boundary. Right,
(13:40):
So you don't have to share everything to be credible.
Decide what's public, Decide what's private, Decide what's sacred before
you go on television, on Instagram, on anything before you share.
Decide what's just for you, and decide what's for everyone else.
You can say no to platforms, you can say no
to partnerships. You can say no to conversations that are
going to dilute your expertise or make you feel less
(14:02):
than or just don't seem to fit like what your
overall goal is audiences respect clear boundaries. The media respects
them even more honestly, And I think respect is a
bright product, a byproduct of strong boundaries. It's respect is
a byproduct of not being endlessly available. You know, if
you had your show morning, noon, and night, your listeners
(14:24):
might take it for granted. But they know that they
can tune in. When they can tune in, and they
can get solid information, they can hear from great experts,
and they get to hear from you. And I think
that that is is proof that boundaries work.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Oh absolutely, And because if you're putting that boundaries, you're
being authentic in that. And you said that you know
you cannot like fake things, so the best way to
be authentic is to be your shelf. And then again,
I really like what you said about like you know,
what is sacred to you that what do you want
(14:57):
to share? So it's not like you cannot build brands
just by being totally vulnerable or anything like that. I
mean nothing wrong with that. It's again, how do you
want to show up? How do you want to be seen?
And a lot of times, you know, as we talk
about brand, we talk about managing the perception. So for
our audience. You know a lot of people come from
(15:17):
tech background and engineering background, or you know they've gotten
no clues about the pr So how would you we've
talked about the mindset shift, what would be some of
the practical aspects that you could share that would help
them position themselves.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Well, I think one of the first practical ways, especially
in the tech world, is I think you have to
lead with value, not validation. Right, if your goal is approval,
you're always going to feel pressure to sell out. And
I think you have to focus on You have to
decide what you're going to focus on, right, So you
need to make sure you're either teaching something to someone
so they can learn it, You're reframing something so they
(15:57):
can understand it. You're challenging something like the status quo
or an industry or a social norm, or you're simplifying something.
You're making their life easier. And I think your value
becomes undeniable when your ideas help people, even in small ways.
And I think that's the first step. Authority grows when
people can point to your work and say, Okay, that
helped me. That's good, that's what I need. But I
(16:19):
also think a huge practical implication is consistency, because we
are not good at this as human beings. Right, Like
we all think, if we want to have you know,
a new year, new us, come January first. If we
go to the gym on January first, by January second,
we're going to have those six pack ams. And that
is not sadly how it works. Trust me, I've tried.
But if you want to you know, if you want
(16:40):
to get in shape, if you want to be healthy,
you have to eat right every single day. Right, you
have to go to the gym, you have to work out,
you have to follow a routine, and consistency is the
ultimate flex. It carries over in the business world too,
especially in being visible and public relations. You don't need
to be everywhere, but you need to show up where
it matters repeatedly, right, Like pick your platform with intention.
Don't you be on air? Everyone? Just pick one. You
(17:01):
got to commit to a cadence that's sustainable for you,
and then you have to stop reinvented your image every
ninety days, like be consistent for ninety days. You can
do it because consistency is going to read is confidence.
You're going to get more and more consistent as you
show up more and more confident. As you show up,
the confidence is going to read his credibility. People are
going to start following you, knowing what you're about. They're
(17:22):
going to be like, oh, this person knows what they're
talking about. They've been talking about it for days, right,
and it actually makes sense, and that credibility is going
to get your respect. So if you want to be unforgettable,
if you want to be visible, you've got to be consistent,
not chaotic, and not all over the place.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
That definitely makes sense. And you also talk about strategic storytelling,
so tell us what can be the different elements and
how it can be woven into day to day social
media or like, you know, getting the attention of the audience.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Well, I think I think one caveat we should touch
on because before we even dive into that is that
it's okay to have an opinion, Like it's okay to
have an opinion. Being respective requires having clear stamps on
something in your industry. And I think people trust expertise,
they trust pattern recognition, and they trust the willingness to
say what others are only hinting at or like saying
the quiet part out loud. Right, Like, you don't to
(18:14):
be controversial, you don't have to have a hot button issue,
but I think you need to be clear because neutrality
isn't going to build authority, but point of view definitely will.
And I think if you want to do pr without
selling out, if you want to have like a simple
breakdown of what you need to do, you need to
be seen. That's the first thing, right, show up consistently
on one platform with a recognizable message for ninety days.
(18:38):
I'm not saying ninety days in a row, but I'm
saying routinely for ninety days. Set up your system, then
be heard, share stories and insight that make your audience smarter.
And it doesn't even have to just be things that
you created. It can be an article that backs up
what you just said. It can be an article that's
contrarian to what you just said, and then you can
prove why you think that article is wrong. You know,
(18:58):
it can be fast or or stats or something else
that backs up what you're said. So first, you're going
to be seen consistently, and second you're going to be
heard by sharing stories and insight that make your audience smarter.
The third thing is be respected. Hold your boundaries, stay
in your lane. Lead with value, not theatrics, right, Like,
you're here provide value. You're coming from a place of service.
(19:20):
You're not trying to get an oscar for best dramatic performance. Right.
So be seen, be heard, be respected, because visibility done well,
it's not performative. It's one hundred percent principled.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
And that definitely resonates with me because to me, at
the end of the day, when you're looking at your
shelf in the mirror, it's like, Okay, did you live biovaluage?
Did you live bioprinciples? Then that is so critical and
that will come through. So, for example, one of my
(19:56):
clients had posted something that was you know, contrary too,
so just kind of want to have your thoughts on that.
She posted something that was her opinion and it was
contrary to the mainstream beliefs, and a lot of people
gave her like a nasty comment. So this is click
(20:17):
and bait and this was this and all that. And
as we were doing coaching, like during one of the things,
and I told her, like, you know, what's your principle
if this happened in person, Like how would you deal
with it? And she said, like you know, I would
just kind of politely say, Okay, you have your opinion,
I haven't. We just just you know, we respectfully disagree
and let's move on. And that's exactly what she did.
(20:39):
So that is one of the ways of handling the
negative because it's going to happen. What are some of
the other ways that people because people get scared, right, Like,
you know, you've put out your heart, you have your opinion,
and now you're getting all these negative feedback and people
are attacking you.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Yeah. Well, I mean there's a hue vulnerability in being visible.
It truly is whether it's you're an artist and you
put your art out there, you're an author and you
put your book out there, you're a coach, you put
your opinion out there. Truly, anything, there's a vulnerability there.
And we're human beings and I don't care how tough
you are on the exterior, we're all soft and squishy
on the inside.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
It hurts. Words hurt.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
People can be very savage, especially online. I think a
part of it is to remember that hiding behind a keyboard.
No one has more courage than a person that hides
behind a keyboard. Like when you said, what would you do.
If these people set it to your face, most of
them wouldn't. They wouldn't have the courage too, they wouldn't
act that way. But hidden behind a keyboard, it creates
this person. I'm a firm believer. For my clients and
(21:41):
for myself, I do not punch down when a troll
comes for me and they have something to say. That
means I'm on the right track. It means I've hit
a nerve.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
You either want to repel the people that aren't for
you or you want to attract the people that are
for you. And one of the first rules in business
I learned from one of my lawyers is you're nobody
until someone comes for you, whether that's a lawsuit or
with negative energy. Right, So that means you're getting somewhere.
Your visibility is striking your nerves. So congratulations. Like if
you have your first roll, if you have your negative comments,
(22:11):
is that is like a baptism by fire for any
entrepreneur person. Right, But the first thing is does it
matter is what they're saying. Does it offend you because
it's true or does it offend you because it's just offensive?
Some people, if you look at their comment history, just
like to argue with strangers online. Don't punch down, don't
(22:31):
feed the troll. That's my biggest thing. I don't respond
unless it's something that's totally incorrect. Then I try and
give them one calm, fact based neutral Well, actually you
misquoted that, and it's such and such, or here's the
study that backs it up. You know, I try to
be helpful so I can educate the masses, just not
that person. If they keep coming for me, I'm just
(22:51):
going to disengage, because what do I get out of
arguing with a weirdo online? Like when you argue with
an idiot, then you have two idiots, right. Nobody wants
to wins in situation, and so I kind of just
try and move on from it. If someone keeps harassing me,
if they create different accounts, then I block them. And
at a certain point, if it's truly slander or libel,
(23:12):
then that's what lawyers are for. And lawyers are a
wonderful to world if you're in business.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Those are some really really good thoughts, and because as
you mentioned, then why engage with them? Now? Another question
that you know a lot of people may have on
their minds is that when something like this happens, and
as you said, that, don't do it so it makes
(23:42):
them hesitant to share their opinions. What would be like,
you know, some of the couple of mental things or
mindset things or encouraging things.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
You would tell them, well, my biggest thing is you've
put your heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears, maybe all
of your money into your business, your idea, your product
or art, your service, whatever it may be. You've gotten
it to the finish line. It's out there in the world.
Why would you not brag about that and share that?
Why would you not let every person you created said product,
service offering for know about it. You're just sharing this
(24:15):
cool thing you created with other people who are going
to think it's cool. And yeah, there might be a
Debbie Downer who won't think it's cool. That's not your person.
Go find where your people are. Like. They created comic
Con for a reason, because people who like comic books
want to nerd out with other people who like comic books.
Will I ever go to comic Con? No, I don't
get it. I respect what they're doing, I respect what
(24:35):
they've built. I respect the commitment of a people who
dress up and go for all those days, right, So
I think it's you just have to know your audience
and your lane and realize you're not ice cream, and
there's some people who don't like ice cream. You're not
going to please everyone. No one's going to be happy
all the time. I'm perfectly fine not being everyone's cup
of tea. I know the people that I serve, and
I know if I don't get in front of the camera,
(24:57):
I know if I don't share what I know, if
I don't come from a place of service, those small businesses,
those founders, the people whose stories need to be told,
who need eyeballs on their products or services, They're not
going to get the help that they need. And so
I'm dimming my light and not sharing my gift. I'm
hurting other people and that's just selfish, and that I
think is the first mindset shift that needs to be made.
(25:19):
You have a gift, You've created something, You created it
for a reason. You owe it to yourself and the
people that you created what you created for, to serve them,
to tell them all about it, because it's not about
me as a person. In kJ it's not about you
as a person, it's not about them as a founder.
It's about who they can serve, which is why they
did all the things that they did to get to
this spot. And I think they have to remember that
(25:41):
it's not about you. It's about helping.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Absolutely, and that definitely lands with people that you know,
don't shrink because of one person or something like that.
And these are the moments, and these are the times
when you'll have to experience that discomfort. And it's okay
because when you experience that discomfort, see that as a
(26:09):
growth opportunity and moving one step beyond and that can
become a story in itself. So coming back to the
strategic storytelling, can you tell us, like, you know, what
are some of the elements that usually resonate with people.
If you have some examples, any frameworks that would be great. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Well, I think there is a reason why you have
your show. There's a reason why I'm in pr there's
a reason why Bob down the Street started a bakery.
That origin story, no matter what it is, no matter
how small, no matter how insignificant we think it is,
it's a story that's going to inspire other people. I
think you start there. You start with your origin story,
the why behind what you created, made, or established, always, always,
(26:53):
always lead with that story. Then I think there's point
in time things like evergreen. You know, like it's the
end of the year. People are closing out things, they're
settling into routines, or they're dealing with family, or they
get to celebrate family, right, all those things. If your
business touches those, make sure that you have end of
the year stories that you can share on the flip side.
In a couple of days, it'll be the beginning of
(27:14):
a year and you can have beginning of the year
stories and why do people need your product, service or
offering at the beginning of the year. Those times you know,
mother's day, Father's Day, summer, back to school, fall, start
a sports seasons. Those are all evergreen things that are
come around time after time after time. You can be
replaying and promoting your business, your product, your service based
(27:36):
on those points in time, because truly, what the media
wants to see is a unique story. They want to
know why, why this is cool, why it's unique. Then
they want to know why now why is it timely
right this second? Well, if you know you're evergreen hooks,
you're golding right, rybe your friend or maybe something the
government did or maybe something that happened in the news
(27:57):
or Hollywood, those sorts of things. That's why now. So
it's why is this important? Why now? And then you
have to look at who your audience is. Why is
it important for this audience? If you're local, why is
this important for your local audience? Like I'm in Dallas,
would why is anything I'm doing right now important for
my local audience in Dallas?
Speaker 4 (28:15):
You know?
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Why is anything important for a local audience in Philadelphia?
Make it? Why is it important for a national audience?
And those things they tie into the evergreen theme. But
also it's not rocket science. It's why why now? Why
does it matter to this group of people? Those are
the simple things that you need to know when you're
pitching your stories.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
M that is, those are really some good tips that
our audience can take and implement straight away. So now
you know, there are always questions. There's local news where
you can get on, and then there is national news,
and there are those so called major media outlets like
(28:57):
you know, Forbes, and then a whole lot like a
brand and the local So can you share like you know,
if somebody is just kind of starting out where they
should focus and as the advance, how can they approach
those large media outlets.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Sure where they should focus is what their goal is.
That tells you everything you need to know. Right when
I meet with every single person, the first thing I
ask them is what would be a success. What would
be success for you a year from now? What media
outlets signifies success for you? Nine times out of ten
they're going to tell me Oprah, And then I have
to break their hearts and say Oprah hasn't had a
show in over a decade. So I don't know have
(29:35):
to tell you, guys, you're not even watching Oprah. But
I get I hear you. Oprah is a big name.
But I think it's your goal. Whatever your overall goal
is is going to shape the media outlets you reach
out to, whether you start with those big major broadcast
networks or whether you start locally. So I have a
book coming out right in January, and so for me,
I want to reach business owners all over the world
(29:56):
that I know need help with storytelling and public relations expertise.
That's podcasts. I'm going to skip my local news, I'm
going to skip the Forbes and the major outlets. I'm
gonna go to podcasts. I'm gonna be on every single
podcast I can that focuses on my audience and my niche.
I'm gonna get my story out there. I'm not going
to worry about having the big, splashing headlines. I'm not
(30:16):
going to worry abouting that. I'm worrying about how many
free shows I can do to give free advice, for
pr to get people to buy my book for a
dollar when it comes out. So that's where I'm going.
If you're a local company or like a restaurant, obviously,
being in Forbes it probably would be cool. It's not
going to help you fill your restaurant. Being on the
local news going to help you fill your restaurant. Talking
(30:39):
to local influencers, being featured on local blogs. That's where
you should be spending your time. If you're a business coach,
if you're a you know, if you want to speak
on more stages, yeah, you should focus on outlets in
your area of expertise, right like, whether it's the tech sector,
whether it's you know, the grease sector. But yeah, then
(31:00):
you should be in for the Forbes and those like that.
It helps build credibility, but it's baby steps for all
of us. Some people might get lucky and they might
pitch Forbes the first time and be in there. Some
people it might take ten years, it might take more,
they might never get there. But it has to be
right for your audience. Right now, Forbes is not the
right audience for me. For my audience, I'm skipping them,
you know, and I think so many people are like,
(31:21):
but you have to be in Forbes. It's a business publication.
You don't have to be anywhere that your audience isn't.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
And that goes back to what you mentioned about what's
your goal, Because if your goal is to reach those founders,
reach those people who need your services, then you're showing
up where they're already there.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
You're leveraging platforms, you're leveraging outlets that are already serving
your clients. And that makes it so much easier and
it well maybe not easier, but makes more sense because
reaching your audience directly, because I'm sure even with Forbes
and any media outlets that you see hundreds and hundreds
(32:07):
of there's so much noise and so as we talk about, like,
you know, there's so much noise that yes, you could
be on fifty different platforms how do you tone that
into a signal?
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Well, I think it's messaging. It's what you want to
be known for, right. I want to be the person
that helps small businesses and founders know how to do
public relations. I want them to step into the spotlight
and know what visibility is. That it's not vanity, it's
leadership and its strategy and they have to have it right.
So it's being very clear about where I want up here.
It's being very clear about my messaging, and it's never
(32:42):
straying from that. If you go anywhere and search my
name or if you hopefully google anything public relations related,
I come up and it's consistent across all platforms, my website,
when I'm in interviews, when I am social media presence,
down to my LinkedIn, same bio, same headshots, same messaging consistency.
(33:03):
And that's how you break through the noise. You become
the many many touch points people need to trust by
no and like you, you create those through one all
the platforms you already have that you create, but then
by appearing on shows like this, it gives you an
extra boost of credibility. It gives you extra touch points,
like people might watch the show once it's going to
(33:24):
live forever on the internet. They might be able to
tune in years from now and see the same thing.
Guess what, The messages aren't going to have changed. I'll
feel the same way in ten years about visibility as
I do now, and I'll probably give people the same advice.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
And so, okay, this is great because you're also talking
about the longuvity. So first thing, like you mentioned about
is the consistency that if you're consistent, then you know
whatever your audience is getting your information or wherever they're
becoming up there, So it kind of takes them through
that buyer's journey that okay, like okay, like oh they're
(34:02):
aware like hey, kJ is principled and she really kind
of digs into values and all that that's my kind
of person. And from there, like you know, it creates
that an interest because they're listening to the same message
that is consistent. So that's really really powerful and it
helps people to not get overwholmed. Now, what are like
(34:27):
you know some of the like you know two or
three things, you have almost so many years, like you know,
like almost thirty years of experience based on what I
know about you, What would you say at three to
five things that they should not be doing. We've talked
a lot about what they should be doing.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
What are those like?
Speaker 4 (34:47):
No, no no, you don't even touch that.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
For me, the no no nos are the first. No
no no is anything that's not going to help you
reach your goal, anything that's not going to help move
you forward where you want to be and what you
want to achieve. It's great to do all the things,
that's the quickest path to burnout. Like, you don't need
to be everywhere all the time doing all the things.
You need to pick a platform, you need to pick
(35:12):
your messages, You need to know what your goal is.
Anything else falls by the wayside state a path. The
second thing not to do do not pay for media.
Do not pay for attention, do not pay for press placement.
None of those things. I see it all the time.
People are like, oh, I can be featured in New
York's Top Doctors. It's only one thousand dollars. Blah blah
(35:32):
blah blah blah. No, don't do that. The ROI is
not there. You do not pay for reputable media outlets.
You do not pay for the placement there. That is
an advertising thing. It shows up as an advertising thing.
There are a million free publicity things out there where
you wouldn't have to pay for outside of buying my book,
outside of paying for a publicist. The great thing about
(35:54):
public relations is it's free. The media needs your story.
They need to cover things. They need to see videos.
They need to feature things that their audience and viewers
find interesting. Podcast hosts can talk all they want to
in single episodes, but they need to interview people. They
need to bring an experts. You're an expert, you might
have a product, you might have a service. Take advantage
(36:14):
of that free opportunity. Never ever ever pay for press.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Okay, well, thank you. You know this has been very valuable.
Share with us. Where can our audience reach out to you?
How can they connect with you?
Speaker 3 (36:31):
Sure, you can find me on my website hearsaypr dot com.
And if you want to work on your visibility, I
have a freebee there. It's called a Visibility Workbook and
that's heresaypr dot com backslash freebie. Or you can talk
to me anytime on Instagram at kJ Blattenbauer.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Well fantastic, Any last thoughts that you might have.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I just want to encourage all of your listeners that
visibility is not vanity, It's a leadership skill, and I
need you to do one thing today to make yourself
a little bit more visible, whether it's fixing your bio
across all platforms or finally getting up the courage to
pitch yourself to media outlet or to show up on camera.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
Fantastic. Well, thank you, kJ and we wish you all
the best for your upcoming book because I'm or it's
going to be value packed, just like our conversation was
value packed. Thank you for joining us, and thank you
wonderful audience, because without you, the show would not be possible.
We love you reach out to us like as you
(37:35):
always do and let us know how can we serve
and support you to live the best life you can.
And thank you one for being a tech genius, Take care.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host d V Park, we hope you have learned more
about how to start living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people
who've experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Dvpark shares what happened to her when
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly
(38:08):
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people
how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to live the life
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www
dot dwpark dot com and you can connect with DWAT
(38:28):
contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you
joining us next week.
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