June 10, 2025 • 43 mins
What happens when immigrant grit meets Wall Street power? Join Divya Parekh in a gripping talk with Butch Meily, who stood by Reginald F. Lewis—America’s first Black billionaire—through deals, drama, and deep dilemmas. From IPOs to burned bridges, this story of race, ambition, and legacy in 1980s America is one you won’t forget.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio.
Its employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be
(00:20):
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W
four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W. Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on voparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
are living the life they want. You will learn how
(00:48):
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at wd WW Dots Divpork dot
com and you can connect with dvants contact Dants divpark
dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your
(01:09):
host div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday morning, and I'm so thrilled
to be here with you, and you'll know that.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
So one of the things, one of the stories that
I want to share with you is that one of
my readers from Expert to Influencer had reached out to
me and she is writing a blog and she invited
me to be her guest, and she was hesitant if
I would even participate.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
I'm like, why not?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Just because I'm an author doesn't mean I'm any different.
I've you know, I brush my teeth just like any
other person. So it's just so beautiful connecting with y'all.
And what I want to share is that do reach
out to us, because quite a few or you reach
out to us, and that's what helps us shape our
(02:01):
programs like who to bring, who not to bring. And similarly,
if you have bought my book, reach out. I love
to connect with my readers and get your thoughts and
feedback because as I continue writing my books, I can
serve you. Because the whole idea is to serve and
impact your lives. So thank you if you've purchased a
(02:22):
books for those If you have not, I invite you
to buy our books because I can tell you that
they will change your lives.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
And also we help entrepreneurs from kyba dot org. So
keep the kindness going and let's bring in our guests. Welcome.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
Butch Hi Devia, how are you doing good?
Speaker 4 (02:48):
How are you so good to have you?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yeah, I'm really glad and honored to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Oh, absolutely, you have such an impressive journey. So we
usually start out the moment in your youth or childhood
that left the postive mark on you. Do you recollony?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Well, I guess my experiences with my with my parents
were really important. I think that's that's the key to
my values and my being who I am. And they
really gave me the push and the drive and the ambition.
They always encouraged me to keep going and to reach
(03:26):
for the stars, as they say, and that drove me
all through my voyage and my journey in the United
States and other countries. Mmmm.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yeah, It's it's amazing how much parents have that role
that they play, because you know, the child is looking
up to their parents and.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Just so phenomenal. So tell me, like, you know, how
did you decide to come to the US.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Well, I first came over in nineteen seventy seven, time ago,
and I first came as a student, and I literally
fell in love with the country. I really did. I
was coming from Manila, and that's part of the story
in the book. And I was coming from a very
cloistered lifestyle as a Catholic student. And I was a
(04:23):
student in Catholic school for about sixteen years. And I
say it was like, you know, jumping from a convent
to Hollywood, and it was just like a breath of
fresh air. So I was amazed by the people, by
Americans in general, and by the country.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
It is a beautiful country, definitely got to.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Say that really is. And North Carolina is great too.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Mean I'll tell you, like, you know, having lived between
you or California and North Carolina, I do.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
I am Harshalton. The other two states are not beautiful.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Right, I've been in Durham, North Carolina.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Beautiful.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So when you came here, I know your life has
been impacted by Ronald Lewis. So tell a little bit
about that. And tell us about your journey as to
when you came in as a student in how your
life progressed.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Well. I finished at the University of Florida. I got
a scholarship there and I was also a graduate assistant.
I taught public relations and I was the first honors
graduate of their master's program, So that kind of gave
me a push, and I moved from Gainesville, Florida, to
for Chicago, then San Francisco, but my target was always
(05:50):
New York because my field as public relations, and New
York is where it was at back then. So even
though sort of up on the break of bankruptcy and
it was pretty dirty and dangerous at the time, but
it was still the center for media and public relations,
and I wound up getting my big break there. When
(06:14):
I first met Reginald Lewis, I was moving from PR
firm to PR firm, and I got a phone call
one day from somebody I'd never heard of, I did
never meet, And it's this woman who spoke to me
on the phone and said, I got your name from
a Wallseat Journal reporter and my husband has a PR problem.
(06:34):
You have to talk to him and don't worry because
someday he's going to be a big account of yours.
I half believed there. I didn't, you know, I just
got this call out of the blue. But I wound
up calling him back and that was that turned out
to be Lloyda Lewis, the wife of Reginald Lewis. At
the time, he was still unknown, but today in the
(06:57):
African American community in particular, he's a folk he because
if that phone call started a journey that I still
look back on with some amazement, and I think that's
important for people to know that. I think most people
are going to get a chance, or maybe several chances,
and you just have to be ready for them. You
(07:18):
have to be ready for that break. And this is
something I tell my son works out in Hollywood, but
I mean, you have to be prepared and ready so
when your break comes, you can jump at it and
you can be ready for it.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
That's such a powerful lesson that so because so many
times what happens is people say, oh, you know, I'm
not getting the opportunity. But having that mindset that you're.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Ready mentally, and that mindset is so important.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
So tell me, that's a very important lesson that you're sharing.
How can people prepare themselves?
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Well, I think the important thing is I think education
is really important. There is no going around it. So
I think that school matters, getting a good education, working
hard matters. I've worked with five CEOs and they've taught
me different lessons. Persistence is one, working hard is another.
(08:16):
I've been with CEOs where we had meetings at two
in the morning and then have to show up for
work again at nine and the next day. But really
working hard is important, and I think I think a
faith in God. I think that one of the CEOs
taught me that that that was important, especially for the downtimes,
(08:36):
because we all have them, and you can't be negative
about life. And then you've got to be able to
reach into something in yourself that you believe in, and
so having some faith in God is going to get
you through the tough times.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
These are all great lessons and my apologies, I think
so mispronounced Reginald's name, and so tell us a little
bit about the gentleman and your journey with him.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Well, I first met him back then. His problem was
that he had just sold a company called McCall pattern company,
made a lot of money and a new York Times
story had come out, which sort of he felt demean him.
It talked about the new owners, and it disparaged a
little bit of the work he had done over the
last five years. I believe with McCall pattern, in which
(09:26):
he transformed the company. He bought it and transformed it,
made it profitable. It was a home pattern sewing company
in Kansas, and he was His phone call to me
through his wife was because he wanted I was a
pr person, and I came up with a strategy that
you know. He had called the New York Times reporter
(09:47):
who wrote the original story, at six am in the
morning and yelled at him. He found his number in
the phone phone book, which is something you could do
back then. Everybody was listed in the telephone directory, no
matter who you were, and so he found his number,
he yelled at him, and now he was trying to
figure out what to do. And I happened to know
(10:07):
the New York Times reporter, so I told him, don't worry, Rich,
I'll work it out. So we get a meeting with
him and potentially a second story, and I got to
know as much as I could about his what he
did when the call pattern, I called the reporter. I
calmed him down, and I arranged for a second meeting,
and then I arranged to meet Ridge and the lobby
(10:28):
of the New York Times. And that was the only
time I realized he was black. I had talked to
him on the phone several times, and I'd never met
him until he walked in through those revolving doors at
the New York Times. And that's the only time I
realized he was African American, which is great. I mean,
(10:49):
there weren't too many black businessmen back then in nineteen
eighty seven. And we went up and we talked to
the reporter. I managed to do a pretty good job. Fourties later,
we came out with a great story which made him
a minor celebrity on Wall Street and brought him to
the attention of somebody in Los Angeles, a guy by
the name of Michael Milken, who was the godfather of
(11:12):
all these big leveraged buyouts that people were doing back
in the eighties and nineties.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Wow, So what a journey. And what you said is
that to me, You know, I come from.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Biochemistry, and the way our molecules work, the way our
systems work, we all are more similar.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Than different.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
We have so much more in commonalities that I mean,
of course, and having a difference is what makes the
humanity so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I mean, of course there are dark side to it, but.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Think about it, you know. Actually it was a wonderful question.
One of our kids had asked, like, hmmm, why are
people different? And I took him to the garden, like
you know, took the kids to the garden and I said, like,
look at so at that time, I was into gardening
and we had a lot of different colored flowers and
(12:14):
they said, I said, does any.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Flower look different than the others?
Speaker 3 (12:19):
They said yeah, I said, but is any flower better
or more beautiful than others? They're like, oh, they're different,
but beautiful in their own way. So that's how I
see people. And to me, it's just fascinating. Our differences
bring us more closer together than that.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
So I agree, yeah, I think where our journeys are different, yes,
we may look different, but in their essence, people are
the same all over. I've traveled all over the world
and people have the same thing. They won't They're just
like us. They want their kids to succeed, they get
them a good education, they want to move into a
(13:01):
decent place to live, take care of their parents. I mean,
we have similar dreams and hopes and it's just a summer.
Are doing better or the luckier than others? And I
think people who live and work in the United States
were born there are the luckiest people in the world.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Oh. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
So you mentioned that you never worked with five CEOs,
So tell us a little bit more about that portion
of your life.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Well, the first CEO I worked with was Reginald Lewis
because soon after I met, two months after I met,
and he wound up borrowing. He made a one billion
dollar bid and that's one billion with a B for
a company called Beatrice International to sixty four companies in
thirty one countries. And what he did was the it
(13:51):
was big and he took it over. Its headquarters were
in Paris. Our other headquarters was in New York. So
within a space a few few months we were we
moved into the top building in Manhattan overlooking Central Park.
And then the I would spent most of my time
in Europe. We got our own private plane. I flew
on the Conquered a bunch of times from New York
(14:13):
to Paris. So that what he taught me was was
the value of persistence. He had this slogan that he
repeated in many of the speeches that he gave when
he became more famous, and that was to keep going
no matter what. And it was his life story was
like that that he kept getting knocked down. He bought
(14:35):
a mansion in the Hampton's after I met him, and
the wound up it was, it was burned down in
the middle of the night. And then he we tried
to take that company public beat TLC Beaters International, and
we failed. We failed, but he never let it stop
(14:55):
him because he kept going. And I think I think
he had a lot to prove to himself and around
him that I think he felt that people of color
are just as good as everybody else, and so that
was important to him to succeed. So he kept going
no matter what. So that's one lesson I learned from him.
From his widow, who took over Lloyd to Lewis after
(15:18):
he died at fifty from brain cancer, I learned the
to have faith and faith in God. That's where what
I learned from her, because she feels she's a very
different leader from her husband, very nurturing. Her husband was
sort of a screamer and very demanding, like a quarterback
on a football team. And she was more of a nurturer.
And she every time I went to her office, I
(15:41):
felt good about myself, better about my life. So she
was different faith in God. Then the current CEO I
worked with is a guy by nath manny Panginina and
he's out in Asia and he's he's he worked. He's
a workaholic. I mean he works seven days a week,
works all hours of the day and night. And so
I I guess I learned from him the value which
(16:03):
had always seen it before, at value of fart work
there were, you know. And then I worked with a
CEO of a financial startup in New York who quit
Goldman Sachs, George Butcher started his own company. So I
learned that, you know, I mean, you can, you can
leave everything behind you. He was a managing director at
Goldman Sachs, but he left all behind to follow his
(16:24):
his vision and start this company in municipal bonds. The
last CEO I worked with was was was religious brother
in law Jeene Fyoga, who took over in between Louda
and him as CEO, and he from him, I learned
the joy of being in business, being in charge, because
he brought a joy to it which had been missing
(16:47):
in our lives before.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
And that's amazing that you have worked with the different personalities,
different people, but at the same time you can have
a bus who can be a tyrants. I'm not saying
any one of these were, But have you worked with
anybody who was like that? Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Yeah, a bunch, especially in New York. I mean several
of the people there, I mean se of my boss
is there in the PR firms. I mean there's one
in particular, and I name him. Name him in the
book I Tell the Stories, Curtis Hokster, And he was
ran a small PR agency. It's one of my first
jobs in New York City. And you know he was
(17:28):
he was He was tough. I mean he was yelling
all the time. And he he wouldn't pay for our
drinking water. He told us to get water from the
from the faucet. She can drink it in New York.
And so he wasn't getting any Secretaries were complaining about it,
and every day like a battle. Every day was like
a battle with him. But he he taught me to
(17:49):
write and write quickly, right precisely because he was against
such a yeller, and every time I came in the morning,
he was yelling at somebody, and I was lucky if
it wasn't me.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
M So, a lot of.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
A lot of my clients and a lot of our
audience do face that because what happens is so many
times people leave their jobs. And I think so the
stats are like almost seventy to eighty percent of people
leave their jobs because of a toxic boss or a
tyrant boss. And sometimes the odds are not in their
(18:26):
favor that they can just leave. Sometimes the market can
be tough, like just now, the market is tough. You know,
it's not that easy to find a job. So what
advice would you give to our audience, Like, you know,
how could So they're two scenarios. One, if the odds
are not in the favor, like they're not able to
move out, what could they do?
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Let's look at that scenario first.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Sure, first of all, I listened to your podcast on
toxic bosses. By the way, I thought that was one
of my favorites. But the okay, I think if you're
stuck in that situation, and I've I have been stuck
in that situation. I mean you have to learn to
live with it and to adjust. I mean, there are
ways to deal with a toxic boss, but it's going
(19:10):
to take a lot out of you. Because if you
keep getting told every morning that you're allows you so
and so, you're getting cursed out every day, it takes
a toll on your self confidence. And I think it's
really important to hold on to that. That you your
self respect, your self confidence, you can't lose that. And
so you if you have resources, you can draw on
(19:32):
a loving wife, a family, you're co workers, I mean,
you're all fellow sufferers under this toxic boss, and so
you can really band together. And that's the way you
build friendships. It's like being in a war together. Really,
when you're with you've got that kind of a boss,
(19:53):
you build a cameradity I've found. So you have to
stick it out and keep your eyes open. But the
paycheck is important. I know for people you know you
can't afford to quit, but if you can try and
save some money and keep your eyes open and then
one day you just announce it on LinkedIn or something
(20:13):
that you're free, that you're open to possibilities, and that
you're open to change and you're open for new jobs,
and that might be the second best day of your
life is when you decide you're ready to quit, and
the best day will be when you quite another job.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Yeah, it's it's a tough situation. And one thing.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Two things that definitely stood out for me, like you
said that, you know, make building alliances because others are
going through that, and then that support can be very
very important. And then having that confidence that it's it's
the boss, it's not true because here and you know,
there can be different situations. So for example, it can
(20:57):
be like, you know, one of my clients had this like, oh,
I gotta leave, and then when we took a look
at what was going on, just kind of looking at
objective perspective, we found out that actually it.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Was not the boss, it was her. So it's important
to kind of evaluate the situation.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Also, is the boss the same with everyone or is
it just that they're with you, because sometimes we are
not able to see things when we are very close
to it, so very very important to do that as well.
And then of course if your boss is like that,
So two things, right, maintaining your confidence and building those alliances.
Now outside of building alliances, like when you have a
(21:45):
toxic boss, what can you share with people? Because to me,
relationships are so important. Tell us a little bit about
building relationships and having those alliances.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Well, give you I think the most important thing in
the world world is to have someone to talk to,
because you need to be able to pour out your
troubles at the end of the day and and and
just unload. And but that person or persons they're also
giving I mean, you're giving your burden kind of to them,
you know what I mean when you start telling them
(22:19):
about work and they're telling them about your troubles. I
got yelled that day. I want to quit. But you
need somebody to talk to. I mean, it could be
a your rabbi, your your girlfriend, your dog. I mean,
but you have you need someone to bond with and
to be with your co workers. And if you have that,
(22:41):
if you can pour out your troubles. It's access a
uh as a safety valve for your frustrations at work.
So that's really important because then you can refresh yourself.
Then the next morning you're you're a little stronger because
you've been able to talk about your problems and you've
got to find that person or group of persons. You
(23:03):
can join a club. I think that's important. Join a
religious group. I mean being part of something that's bigger
than you. I think that's that's also important. Maybe some
service oriented work after your job. So there are a
number of ways, but yeah, I mean the key thing
is being able to talk to somebody about your problems.
(23:26):
And I think that'll get you through the day, They'll
get you through the week, and eventually they'll get you
through that difficult job.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
M hm.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
And you mentioned like kind of going back to the
story that time when you kind of came over here,
so it is different culture and you, as you mentioned,
you know in those early days of going through the
public relations and initial public offerings, So what were your
desires back then, and what choices did you make that
(24:00):
if you were to look back upon, you would see it.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
You know, I would not have made that choice.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Well, the biggest I have a lot of regrets, I mean,
like anybody, but perhaps my biggest regret is maybe I
should have paid more attention to to my then wife.
I think that which I think that was important. She'd
been great for me, but now we're friends. But I
was very focused on my career, very focused on my job.
(24:28):
I was like that way since I was in high school.
I got married late because I wanted to be self sufficient,
I have a career before I I wound up with
somebody permanent and proposed, and for a while it was
a great marriage and it worked out really great. But
I do think that, you know, after all that, the
(24:52):
I probably should have spent more time with her. I
was just so focused on work and traveling all around.
But I also think that, you know, DIVI, I still
believe in I still believe in in in that, and
I think it's so important to everyone to have somebody
that you care for or that who cares for you.
And it can be a dog, it can be anybody,
(25:15):
but I think you need that keep going. And I've
felt the loss of it one big regret, but I
have others I talk.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
To, So what I'm hearing is that it's important to
kind of like not be just focused on work, like
definitely you know hard work is important, but also bringing
your personal life and family and then focus on that relationship.
So we are coming back to the relationships that looking
(25:49):
around and building that capacity because as you mentioned earlier,
be ready for that opportunity said the same token, be
ready for not to let go of the opportunity.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
That you have in hand, right. And I also think
that at the end of my book, I do say
ordinary people, after working with all these CEOs and and
and all that I feel that ordinary people who have
a regular job and make a decent living and a
decent wage and can go home at the end of
(26:20):
the day, kick their feet up, have a beer and
watch a baseball game or something, I think they're far
happier than the people sometimes that I've met in the
in the corporate world who have who might seem to
have everything, but I found that there they can be
very isolated, isolated people. And you know, so I do.
(26:44):
One ceo his happiest time of the day was when
he went home and he turned up the air conditioned
real high and they pulled the blanket over him, and
for him, that was the best part of a day.
You can have all the money in the world, but
I'm treat places with you.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Yeah, And you talked about like, you know, even having
a dog, like you know, pets are so wonderful. They
love you unconditionally.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
And as a matter fact, to one of my clients,
she said that, like, you know, after a long day,
she's in the c suite and she said, I love
my kids, but Divia, like you know, at night, like
when I'm so exhausted, I.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Just love to snug out to my dog on the couch,
zen out.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
And watch some TV.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
So yeah, it's it's yeah, life is what we kind
of make of it. And coming back to the professional site,
especially with you, like you know, being in PR, you
have clients, right and as you mentioned, you had very
high powered clients.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
How would you say you approach them?
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Like, you know, there are sometimes things that we have
to tell our clients that we don't want to tell them,
and that's there are things they don't.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Want to hear. How did you approach those situations?
Speaker 5 (28:12):
You know, that's a great point to view because I
think it's a very important thing to know. And that's
one thing that some of my PR bosses taught me
is that you at the end of the day, you
have to be able to tell your client the truth.
And as one of them said to me, don't commit suicide.
I mean, don't tell them. Don't tell them when they're
(28:32):
in a bad mood or in the worst part of
their day. Or something and just come out and blurt it.
But pick your moments, and at the end of the day,
you've got to be able to give people your best advice.
And maybe you're wrong, but I think you'll feel better
about yourself and most of the time you're going to
be right. So I think that was something I have.
That's something I've tried to keep. But it's not always
(28:54):
easy because if somebody's always yelling at you or cursing,
and you know, and they don't like being told no,
and I know a bunch of CEOs and leaders who
were like that. The tendency in the corporate office is
to be a yes man or yes woman and to
agree because it's just an easier life for you. And
(29:19):
I know people have gotten fired for doing that, so
you're sort of taking a risk. But I think it's important.
That's what I was taught and what I learned in
the PR businesses, that you've got to be able to
tell your client the truth because otherwise you're useless to them.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
That's such a powerful point. And also it's so important
for your own self validation and for your own personal
core values because it's important to maintain that respect for
yourself because you know as inn pr like as a
(29:57):
because as I'm a coach, you know, for we're out
there that we can support our clients, we can make them.
Like in my line of work, it's more about transformation,
and your line of work is like how can you
show them in the best of light.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
So it's important to tell them the truth. And you
mentioned that.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
It's very difficult and it's important to have those difficult conversations.
So in your experience, what were like, you know, a
couple of things that you implemented that made those difficult
conversations go a little bit smoother.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Well, I think having a track record of success successes
gives you the credibility where you can stand up in
a room and speak the truth. When you've proven to
the company or to your boss or to your colleagues
that you're you're good at your job, you've done it
(30:48):
well in the past. That gives you a certain amount
of space where you can be honest with them because
then they're prepared to take it. But if you come
out of the blue, you don't have a tracker, Kurt,
you start telling them all sorts of things then that
they're not going to listen. To you as much. You'll
get one one chance and then you're out. So building
(31:10):
that credibility is important first. Once you have that, then
then you can then you've earned your spot at the
table and you can speak your mind as much I
mean as much as you as much as you can,
or as much as you feel that you need to.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
You're absolutely right, and it's you have to.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
And it may be tough, like especially if you're starting out,
you may be thinking like, oh, if I'm not pleasing
my client, you know, then how can.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
I build that reputation?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
But one thing that I've learned and even in my profession,
that people will not like it in the moment when
you tell them. And there are ways like where you
can prep your client or prep anybody that you're talking
with that listen, you know, it's important that we have
a conversation. Like when you set the expectations, usually people
(32:04):
are ready, so the reaction is not that knee jerk.
But at the same time, even if they're ready, the
reaction can still be knee jerk, but they start having
respect for you that you looked out for them. So definitely,
I really love that point. Now going back to the
time when you were involved in the IPO. Tell Us
(32:25):
tell our audience a little bit more about the leveraged buyouts,
like what are they and how they kind of went
down during the time of two thousand and eight recession
and they're making their way back.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
Well, back then, you could borrow a lot of money
and take over companies, I mean huge corporations like at
the time RGR and Ebisco, TWA Airlines, you name it.
Beatri's Foods once used to be a multi billion dollar business,
but they were getting taken over by people who had
(33:03):
nobody ever heard of because they were able to borrow
a great deal of money as long as they had
a plan and they had the guts, the courage to
execute on it and had done smaller deals in the past,
and they moved up to bigger deals and then the
money became unimaginable. They were borrowing billions of dollars to
buy bigger and bigger corporations. And what they did was
(33:26):
they would take over a company, then they would use
the assets of that company to pay down the debt.
They would sell off the assets and sell off the
companies that they had bought to pay down their debt,
and they'd be left to the core of the company
that they had bought and that would give them the
income to do very well, so.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Basically getting out the company.
Speaker 5 (33:48):
Yeah, well yeah, because they were going after these big
conglomerates at the time in the eighties and nineties, companies
were just buying businesses right and left, and they were
often related to each other. Preachers Foods started off as
a food company I think in Nebraska, but by the
time it got taken over and leverage buyout, they had
(34:11):
Samsonite luggage, they had orbal red and Backer popcorn, they
had Tropicana orange juice, and then they had these sixty
four companies around the rest of the world outside of
the United States. So they were in completely unrelated businesses
and the it didn't take a genius to look at
and say, you know what, these companies might be more
(34:32):
valuable as a standalone business and putting them all together.
So that's that's really what happened. And a lot of
these companies were not doing as well as they should have,
so everybody kept talking about shareholder value. Shareholder value, so
that's what we kept hearing.
Speaker 4 (34:49):
And are they making a comeback again?
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Now? I think they are. I keep I think because
people read about it, they look back to those days,
and my book might to kindle interest in it. They
went through a period when they were not popular, but frankly,
I think you can make a lot of money. I
don't want to recommend this as of course, but they
(35:14):
are these high yield, high yield bonds. These these companies
that are not that well known, that have a risk
of default, but you can buy their bonds at a
discount and sell them later on down the line for
a large gain, and that was a whole value. I
know several of my friends from those days who really
(35:37):
invested in these so called high yield bonds because they're
they're higher risk, but the reward is potentially quite big.
And if you look at these companies, they're not bad.
I mean, they're not as well known as the companies
that you see every day or you know, they're not
Apple or Facebook or something, but they're they're doing well
(35:58):
in their core business, whether it's furniture making furniture North Carolina,
whether it's it's uh, you know, selling hamburgers, and it's
not it's not with Donald's or Wendy's. But they're doing
a good job. And you know, there's flood Rockers, which
is bought by somebody I had met. So I think
this might be making a comeback. But you know, it
(36:20):
takes a lot of courage to.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Do it absolutely.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
And so as your Johnny has moved through it, what
are you doing currently and what's next for you?
Speaker 5 (36:33):
Well, I'm going to be selling this book. I'm going
to be through out promoting it over the next six
months or so to a year. But I know I
did transform. I did make up. At the last chapter
of my book. It's called the Loss and Redemption, and
because at the end, you know, my wife left and
the so I lost that, but I stry to hear that, Yeah,
(36:57):
it was a long marriage and great wild but I'm
okay now and moved on. But the redemption part was
important because my boss, my CEO back then, threw me
a lifeline and he made me head of the company Foundation.
And what it did is at first I thought it
was a chore, you know, it was a pain in
(37:18):
the neck. But I realized I could make it about
helping people. I knew security guards, drivers, waiters, and I
instituted a micro finance program for them because I realized
that many of them are always in debt. And then
I was at the helm of this foundation when a
huge storm killed ten thousand people in a place in
(37:43):
the central Philippines, and my foundation achieved a bigger profile.
It became a national foundation.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
And that's a lot of people.
Speaker 5 (37:54):
It's a lot of people. And I saw I went,
I flew in there four days after the typhoon, and
there were dead bodies all over, covered over galvanized sheets.
I mean, it's one of the sites I'll never forget.
So I've been through several of those tragedies. But the
fulfillment I get at the end of the day by
(38:15):
helping people, that's something that you cannot buy, and that
to be paid for this kind of work. I told
a friend the other day, I pay somebody to be
able to do this kind of work where I can
help people and and and change their lives for the better.
Organization is startups. We take equity and startups we invest
(38:36):
in them. And so they're very unrelated fields, very unrelated
teams disasters on one hand and then startups on the other.
But I enjoy doing both.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yeah, no, congratulations. It's a good way to.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
Have that career where you're impacting and There's nothing more
powerful than that, the joy and the fulfillment that brings.
Because you're part of somebody's life. You're helping somebody achieve
their dreams, You're helping them through their difficult, challenging times.
So how can people connect with you? Where can they
find your book? And what's the title? If you want
(39:20):
to share your.
Speaker 5 (39:21):
Book, I'll thanks for giving me this moment. It's called
from Manila to Wall Street and it has a subtype
subtitle an Immigrants Journey with America's first Black Tycoon. So
there's two stories. One is my story, but the biggest
story is Reginald Lewis. So it was like the Great
(39:41):
gats to me, and I'm Nick Carraway telling his story.
So it's available on Amazon and hope to get the
book out there starting in May. Should be out there soon.
It's out on Kindle now and it'll be available for
pre orders very soon. So I'm I'm going to start
pushing on it. I'll be going around the country. I'll
(40:03):
be visiting North Carolina. I hope in Durham in particular,
because there's a group there called Black Wall Street hooked
up with a few years ago. They invited and paid
for me to speak there, so I hope to visit
them again and I enjoyed my time in the state.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
Yeah. No, that sounds very promising. So I'm sure the
book is going to be amazing and thank you. Yeah,
and you know their audience, like you've heard, which's journey
and it's filled with nuggets of wisdom and insights and
I'm sure you all will get a lot of value
(40:40):
from it. So definitely to go and get it.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
Thank you for that plug God Davia.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Absolutely, And if people want to connect with you, what's
the best way to connect with you?
Speaker 5 (40:58):
My email is This email is actually on my website, Okay,
Wismiley dot com. If you just google I L y.
First name is Butch B t H. Don't ask me
how I got that name, but that's a You can
just google it and the website will pop up and
I've got an email there where you can shoot you
(41:19):
an email.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
All fantastic. Any last words you'd like to share with
the listeners.
Speaker 5 (41:27):
Well, first of all, I honor you your journey because you're
an example for everyone else. You come to the United
States and your journey has been spectacular, and you've got
a great platform and to your listeners. I think the
key lesson for me is what Reginald Lewis taught me,
is that to keep going no matter what, and no
(41:49):
matter what there is in your life now and may
be terrible. You may have a tough boss and it's
a dead end job or something, but things are going
to turn around and there Oharrison, tomorrow is another day,
and I think you at the end of the day,
you've got to take stop stock, get some rest, and
(42:11):
then get up next morning. I think you feel better
about yourself and keep going no matter what.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Absolutely well, thank you for joining us, but we enjoyed
your conversation, and thank thank you for your time, and
thank you, my dear audience, because without you, the show
would not be possible. You are the life and blood
of this show. Do reach out to us, let us
know how can we serve you and how can we
(42:40):
support you in living the life that you deserve.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
And thank you one for making this show technically possible.
So be well and take care until next time.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host d V Park, we hope you have learned more
about how to start living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people
who have experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building
meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Dvpark shares what happened to
her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to
(43:13):
work directly with people across the globe. She not only
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform
relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live
the life they want. If you are ready to live
the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more
at www dot dwpark dot com and you can connect
with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward
(43:37):
to you joining us next week
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio.
Its employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be
(00:20):
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W
four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W. Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on voparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
are living the life they want. You will learn how
(00:48):
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at wd WW Dots Divpork dot
com and you can connect with dvants contact Dants divpark
dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your
(01:09):
host div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday morning, and I'm so thrilled
to be here with you, and you'll know that.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
So one of the things, one of the stories that
I want to share with you is that one of
my readers from Expert to Influencer had reached out to
me and she is writing a blog and she invited
me to be her guest, and she was hesitant if
I would even participate.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
I'm like, why not?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Just because I'm an author doesn't mean I'm any different.
I've you know, I brush my teeth just like any
other person. So it's just so beautiful connecting with y'all.
And what I want to share is that do reach
out to us, because quite a few or you reach
out to us, and that's what helps us shape our
(02:01):
programs like who to bring, who not to bring. And similarly,
if you have bought my book, reach out. I love
to connect with my readers and get your thoughts and
feedback because as I continue writing my books, I can
serve you. Because the whole idea is to serve and
impact your lives. So thank you if you've purchased a
(02:22):
books for those If you have not, I invite you
to buy our books because I can tell you that
they will change your lives.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
And also we help entrepreneurs from kyba dot org. So
keep the kindness going and let's bring in our guests. Welcome.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
Butch Hi Devia, how are you doing good?
Speaker 4 (02:48):
How are you so good to have you?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yeah, I'm really glad and honored to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Oh, absolutely, you have such an impressive journey. So we
usually start out the moment in your youth or childhood
that left the postive mark on you. Do you recollony?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Well, I guess my experiences with my with my parents
were really important. I think that's that's the key to
my values and my being who I am. And they
really gave me the push and the drive and the ambition.
They always encouraged me to keep going and to reach
(03:26):
for the stars, as they say, and that drove me
all through my voyage and my journey in the United
States and other countries. Mmmm.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yeah, It's it's amazing how much parents have that role
that they play, because you know, the child is looking
up to their parents and.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Just so phenomenal. So tell me, like, you know, how
did you decide to come to the US.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Well, I first came over in nineteen seventy seven, time ago,
and I first came as a student, and I literally
fell in love with the country. I really did. I
was coming from Manila, and that's part of the story
in the book. And I was coming from a very
cloistered lifestyle as a Catholic student. And I was a
(04:23):
student in Catholic school for about sixteen years. And I
say it was like, you know, jumping from a convent
to Hollywood, and it was just like a breath of
fresh air. So I was amazed by the people, by
Americans in general, and by the country.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
It is a beautiful country, definitely got to.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Say that really is. And North Carolina is great too.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Mean I'll tell you, like, you know, having lived between
you or California and North Carolina, I do.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
I am Harshalton. The other two states are not beautiful.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Right, I've been in Durham, North Carolina.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Beautiful.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So when you came here, I know your life has
been impacted by Ronald Lewis. So tell a little bit
about that. And tell us about your journey as to
when you came in as a student in how your
life progressed.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Well. I finished at the University of Florida. I got
a scholarship there and I was also a graduate assistant.
I taught public relations and I was the first honors
graduate of their master's program, So that kind of gave
me a push, and I moved from Gainesville, Florida, to
for Chicago, then San Francisco, but my target was always
(05:50):
New York because my field as public relations, and New
York is where it was at back then. So even
though sort of up on the break of bankruptcy and
it was pretty dirty and dangerous at the time, but
it was still the center for media and public relations,
and I wound up getting my big break there. When
(06:14):
I first met Reginald Lewis, I was moving from PR
firm to PR firm, and I got a phone call
one day from somebody I'd never heard of, I did
never meet, And it's this woman who spoke to me
on the phone and said, I got your name from
a Wallseat Journal reporter and my husband has a PR problem.
(06:34):
You have to talk to him and don't worry because
someday he's going to be a big account of yours.
I half believed there. I didn't, you know, I just
got this call out of the blue. But I wound
up calling him back and that was that turned out
to be Lloyda Lewis, the wife of Reginald Lewis. At
the time, he was still unknown, but today in the
(06:57):
African American community in particular, he's a folk he because
if that phone call started a journey that I still
look back on with some amazement, and I think that's
important for people to know that. I think most people
are going to get a chance, or maybe several chances,
and you just have to be ready for them. You
(07:18):
have to be ready for that break. And this is
something I tell my son works out in Hollywood, but
I mean, you have to be prepared and ready so
when your break comes, you can jump at it and
you can be ready for it.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
That's such a powerful lesson that so because so many
times what happens is people say, oh, you know, I'm
not getting the opportunity. But having that mindset that you're.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Ready mentally, and that mindset is so important.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
So tell me, that's a very important lesson that you're sharing.
How can people prepare themselves?
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Well, I think the important thing is I think education
is really important. There is no going around it. So
I think that school matters, getting a good education, working
hard matters. I've worked with five CEOs and they've taught
me different lessons. Persistence is one, working hard is another.
(08:16):
I've been with CEOs where we had meetings at two
in the morning and then have to show up for
work again at nine and the next day. But really
working hard is important, and I think I think a
faith in God. I think that one of the CEOs
taught me that that that was important, especially for the downtimes,
(08:36):
because we all have them, and you can't be negative
about life. And then you've got to be able to
reach into something in yourself that you believe in, and
so having some faith in God is going to get
you through the tough times.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
These are all great lessons and my apologies, I think
so mispronounced Reginald's name, and so tell us a little
bit about the gentleman and your journey with him.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Well, I first met him back then. His problem was
that he had just sold a company called McCall pattern company,
made a lot of money and a new York Times
story had come out, which sort of he felt demean him.
It talked about the new owners, and it disparaged a
little bit of the work he had done over the
last five years. I believe with McCall pattern, in which
(09:26):
he transformed the company. He bought it and transformed it,
made it profitable. It was a home pattern sewing company
in Kansas, and he was His phone call to me
through his wife was because he wanted I was a
pr person, and I came up with a strategy that
you know. He had called the New York Times reporter
(09:47):
who wrote the original story, at six am in the
morning and yelled at him. He found his number in
the phone phone book, which is something you could do
back then. Everybody was listed in the telephone directory, no
matter who you were, and so he found his number,
he yelled at him, and now he was trying to
figure out what to do. And I happened to know
(10:07):
the New York Times reporter, so I told him, don't worry, Rich,
I'll work it out. So we get a meeting with
him and potentially a second story, and I got to
know as much as I could about his what he
did when the call pattern, I called the reporter. I
calmed him down, and I arranged for a second meeting,
and then I arranged to meet Ridge and the lobby
(10:28):
of the New York Times. And that was the only
time I realized he was black. I had talked to
him on the phone several times, and I'd never met
him until he walked in through those revolving doors at
the New York Times. And that's the only time I
realized he was African American, which is great. I mean,
(10:49):
there weren't too many black businessmen back then in nineteen
eighty seven. And we went up and we talked to
the reporter. I managed to do a pretty good job. Fourties later,
we came out with a great story which made him
a minor celebrity on Wall Street and brought him to
the attention of somebody in Los Angeles, a guy by
the name of Michael Milken, who was the godfather of
(11:12):
all these big leveraged buyouts that people were doing back
in the eighties and nineties.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Wow, So what a journey. And what you said is
that to me, You know, I come from.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Biochemistry, and the way our molecules work, the way our
systems work, we all are more similar.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Than different.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
We have so much more in commonalities that I mean,
of course, and having a difference is what makes the
humanity so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I mean, of course there are dark side to it, but.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Think about it, you know. Actually it was a wonderful question.
One of our kids had asked, like, hmmm, why are
people different? And I took him to the garden, like
you know, took the kids to the garden and I said, like,
look at so at that time, I was into gardening
and we had a lot of different colored flowers and
(12:14):
they said, I said, does any.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Flower look different than the others?
Speaker 3 (12:19):
They said yeah, I said, but is any flower better
or more beautiful than others? They're like, oh, they're different,
but beautiful in their own way. So that's how I
see people. And to me, it's just fascinating. Our differences
bring us more closer together than that.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
So I agree, yeah, I think where our journeys are different, yes,
we may look different, but in their essence, people are
the same all over. I've traveled all over the world
and people have the same thing. They won't They're just
like us. They want their kids to succeed, they get
them a good education, they want to move into a
(13:01):
decent place to live, take care of their parents. I mean,
we have similar dreams and hopes and it's just a summer.
Are doing better or the luckier than others? And I
think people who live and work in the United States
were born there are the luckiest people in the world.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Oh. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
So you mentioned that you never worked with five CEOs,
So tell us a little bit more about that portion
of your life.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Well, the first CEO I worked with was Reginald Lewis
because soon after I met, two months after I met,
and he wound up borrowing. He made a one billion
dollar bid and that's one billion with a B for
a company called Beatrice International to sixty four companies in
thirty one countries. And what he did was the it
(13:51):
was big and he took it over. Its headquarters were
in Paris. Our other headquarters was in New York. So
within a space a few few months we were we
moved into the top building in Manhattan overlooking Central Park.
And then the I would spent most of my time
in Europe. We got our own private plane. I flew
on the Conquered a bunch of times from New York
(14:13):
to Paris. So that what he taught me was was
the value of persistence. He had this slogan that he
repeated in many of the speeches that he gave when
he became more famous, and that was to keep going
no matter what. And it was his life story was
like that that he kept getting knocked down. He bought
(14:35):
a mansion in the Hampton's after I met him, and
the wound up it was, it was burned down in
the middle of the night. And then he we tried
to take that company public beat TLC Beaters International, and
we failed. We failed, but he never let it stop
(14:55):
him because he kept going. And I think I think
he had a lot to prove to himself and around
him that I think he felt that people of color
are just as good as everybody else, and so that
was important to him to succeed. So he kept going
no matter what. So that's one lesson I learned from him.
From his widow, who took over Lloyd to Lewis after
(15:18):
he died at fifty from brain cancer, I learned the
to have faith and faith in God. That's where what
I learned from her, because she feels she's a very
different leader from her husband, very nurturing. Her husband was
sort of a screamer and very demanding, like a quarterback
on a football team. And she was more of a nurturer.
And she every time I went to her office, I
(15:41):
felt good about myself, better about my life. So she
was different faith in God. Then the current CEO I
worked with is a guy by nath manny Panginina and
he's out in Asia and he's he's he worked. He's
a workaholic. I mean he works seven days a week,
works all hours of the day and night. And so
I I guess I learned from him the value which
(16:03):
had always seen it before, at value of fart work
there were, you know. And then I worked with a
CEO of a financial startup in New York who quit
Goldman Sachs, George Butcher started his own company. So I
learned that, you know, I mean, you can, you can
leave everything behind you. He was a managing director at
Goldman Sachs, but he left all behind to follow his
(16:24):
his vision and start this company in municipal bonds. The
last CEO I worked with was was was religious brother
in law Jeene Fyoga, who took over in between Louda
and him as CEO, and he from him, I learned
the joy of being in business, being in charge, because
he brought a joy to it which had been missing
(16:47):
in our lives before.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
And that's amazing that you have worked with the different personalities,
different people, but at the same time you can have
a bus who can be a tyrants. I'm not saying
any one of these were, But have you worked with
anybody who was like that? Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Yeah, a bunch, especially in New York. I mean several
of the people there, I mean se of my boss
is there in the PR firms. I mean there's one
in particular, and I name him. Name him in the
book I Tell the Stories, Curtis Hokster, And he was
ran a small PR agency. It's one of my first
jobs in New York City. And you know he was
(17:28):
he was He was tough. I mean he was yelling
all the time. And he he wouldn't pay for our
drinking water. He told us to get water from the
from the faucet. She can drink it in New York.
And so he wasn't getting any Secretaries were complaining about it,
and every day like a battle. Every day was like
a battle with him. But he he taught me to
(17:49):
write and write quickly, right precisely because he was against
such a yeller, and every time I came in the morning,
he was yelling at somebody, and I was lucky if
it wasn't me.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
M So, a lot of.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
A lot of my clients and a lot of our
audience do face that because what happens is so many
times people leave their jobs. And I think so the
stats are like almost seventy to eighty percent of people
leave their jobs because of a toxic boss or a
tyrant boss. And sometimes the odds are not in their
(18:26):
favor that they can just leave. Sometimes the market can
be tough, like just now, the market is tough. You know,
it's not that easy to find a job. So what
advice would you give to our audience, Like, you know,
how could So they're two scenarios. One, if the odds
are not in the favor, like they're not able to
move out, what could they do?
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Let's look at that scenario first.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Sure, first of all, I listened to your podcast on
toxic bosses. By the way, I thought that was one
of my favorites. But the okay, I think if you're
stuck in that situation, and I've I have been stuck
in that situation. I mean you have to learn to
live with it and to adjust. I mean, there are
ways to deal with a toxic boss, but it's going
(19:10):
to take a lot out of you. Because if you
keep getting told every morning that you're allows you so
and so, you're getting cursed out every day, it takes
a toll on your self confidence. And I think it's
really important to hold on to that. That you your
self respect, your self confidence, you can't lose that. And
so you if you have resources, you can draw on
(19:32):
a loving wife, a family, you're co workers, I mean,
you're all fellow sufferers under this toxic boss, and so
you can really band together. And that's the way you
build friendships. It's like being in a war together. Really,
when you're with you've got that kind of a boss,
(19:53):
you build a cameradity I've found. So you have to
stick it out and keep your eyes open. But the
paycheck is important. I know for people you know you
can't afford to quit, but if you can try and
save some money and keep your eyes open and then
one day you just announce it on LinkedIn or something
(20:13):
that you're free, that you're open to possibilities, and that
you're open to change and you're open for new jobs,
and that might be the second best day of your
life is when you decide you're ready to quit, and
the best day will be when you quite another job.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Yeah, it's it's a tough situation. And one thing.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Two things that definitely stood out for me, like you
said that, you know, make building alliances because others are
going through that, and then that support can be very
very important. And then having that confidence that it's it's
the boss, it's not true because here and you know,
there can be different situations. So for example, it can
(20:57):
be like, you know, one of my clients had this like, oh,
I gotta leave, and then when we took a look
at what was going on, just kind of looking at
objective perspective, we found out that actually it.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Was not the boss, it was her. So it's important
to kind of evaluate the situation.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Also, is the boss the same with everyone or is
it just that they're with you, because sometimes we are
not able to see things when we are very close
to it, so very very important to do that as well.
And then of course if your boss is like that,
So two things, right, maintaining your confidence and building those alliances.
Now outside of building alliances, like when you have a
(21:45):
toxic boss, what can you share with people? Because to me,
relationships are so important. Tell us a little bit about
building relationships and having those alliances.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Well, give you I think the most important thing in
the world world is to have someone to talk to,
because you need to be able to pour out your
troubles at the end of the day and and and
just unload. And but that person or persons they're also
giving I mean, you're giving your burden kind of to them,
you know what I mean when you start telling them
(22:19):
about work and they're telling them about your troubles. I
got yelled that day. I want to quit. But you
need somebody to talk to. I mean, it could be
a your rabbi, your your girlfriend, your dog. I mean,
but you have you need someone to bond with and
to be with your co workers. And if you have that,
(22:41):
if you can pour out your troubles. It's access a
uh as a safety valve for your frustrations at work.
So that's really important because then you can refresh yourself.
Then the next morning you're you're a little stronger because
you've been able to talk about your problems and you've
got to find that person or group of persons. You
(23:03):
can join a club. I think that's important. Join a
religious group. I mean being part of something that's bigger
than you. I think that's that's also important. Maybe some
service oriented work after your job. So there are a
number of ways, but yeah, I mean the key thing
is being able to talk to somebody about your problems.
(23:26):
And I think that'll get you through the day, They'll
get you through the week, and eventually they'll get you
through that difficult job.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
M hm.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
And you mentioned like kind of going back to the
story that time when you kind of came over here,
so it is different culture and you, as you mentioned,
you know in those early days of going through the
public relations and initial public offerings, So what were your
desires back then, and what choices did you make that
(24:00):
if you were to look back upon, you would see it.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
You know, I would not have made that choice.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Well, the biggest I have a lot of regrets, I mean,
like anybody, but perhaps my biggest regret is maybe I
should have paid more attention to to my then wife.
I think that which I think that was important. She'd
been great for me, but now we're friends. But I
was very focused on my career, very focused on my job.
(24:28):
I was like that way since I was in high school.
I got married late because I wanted to be self sufficient,
I have a career before I I wound up with
somebody permanent and proposed, and for a while it was
a great marriage and it worked out really great. But
I do think that, you know, after all that, the
(24:52):
I probably should have spent more time with her. I
was just so focused on work and traveling all around.
But I also think that, you know, DIVI, I still
believe in I still believe in in in that, and
I think it's so important to everyone to have somebody
that you care for or that who cares for you.
And it can be a dog, it can be anybody,
(25:15):
but I think you need that keep going. And I've
felt the loss of it one big regret, but I
have others I talk.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
To, So what I'm hearing is that it's important to
kind of like not be just focused on work, like
definitely you know hard work is important, but also bringing
your personal life and family and then focus on that relationship.
So we are coming back to the relationships that looking
(25:49):
around and building that capacity because as you mentioned earlier,
be ready for that opportunity said the same token, be
ready for not to let go of the opportunity.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
That you have in hand, right. And I also think
that at the end of my book, I do say
ordinary people, after working with all these CEOs and and
and all that I feel that ordinary people who have
a regular job and make a decent living and a
decent wage and can go home at the end of
(26:20):
the day, kick their feet up, have a beer and
watch a baseball game or something, I think they're far
happier than the people sometimes that I've met in the
in the corporate world who have who might seem to
have everything, but I found that there they can be
very isolated, isolated people. And you know, so I do.
(26:44):
One ceo his happiest time of the day was when
he went home and he turned up the air conditioned
real high and they pulled the blanket over him, and
for him, that was the best part of a day.
You can have all the money in the world, but
I'm treat places with you.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Yeah, And you talked about like, you know, even having
a dog, like you know, pets are so wonderful. They
love you unconditionally.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
And as a matter fact, to one of my clients,
she said that, like, you know, after a long day,
she's in the c suite and she said, I love
my kids, but Divia, like you know, at night, like
when I'm so exhausted, I.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Just love to snug out to my dog on the couch,
zen out.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
And watch some TV.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
So yeah, it's it's yeah, life is what we kind
of make of it. And coming back to the professional site,
especially with you, like you know, being in PR, you
have clients, right and as you mentioned, you had very
high powered clients.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
How would you say you approach them?
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Like, you know, there are sometimes things that we have
to tell our clients that we don't want to tell them,
and that's there are things they don't.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Want to hear. How did you approach those situations?
Speaker 5 (28:12):
You know, that's a great point to view because I
think it's a very important thing to know. And that's
one thing that some of my PR bosses taught me
is that you at the end of the day, you
have to be able to tell your client the truth.
And as one of them said to me, don't commit suicide.
I mean, don't tell them. Don't tell them when they're
(28:32):
in a bad mood or in the worst part of
their day. Or something and just come out and blurt it.
But pick your moments, and at the end of the day,
you've got to be able to give people your best advice.
And maybe you're wrong, but I think you'll feel better
about yourself and most of the time you're going to
be right. So I think that was something I have.
That's something I've tried to keep. But it's not always
(28:54):
easy because if somebody's always yelling at you or cursing,
and you know, and they don't like being told no,
and I know a bunch of CEOs and leaders who
were like that. The tendency in the corporate office is
to be a yes man or yes woman and to
agree because it's just an easier life for you. And
(29:19):
I know people have gotten fired for doing that, so
you're sort of taking a risk. But I think it's important.
That's what I was taught and what I learned in
the PR businesses, that you've got to be able to
tell your client the truth because otherwise you're useless to them.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
That's such a powerful point. And also it's so important
for your own self validation and for your own personal
core values because it's important to maintain that respect for
yourself because you know as inn pr like as a
(29:57):
because as I'm a coach, you know, for we're out
there that we can support our clients, we can make them.
Like in my line of work, it's more about transformation,
and your line of work is like how can you
show them in the best of light.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
So it's important to tell them the truth. And you
mentioned that.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
It's very difficult and it's important to have those difficult conversations.
So in your experience, what were like, you know, a
couple of things that you implemented that made those difficult
conversations go a little bit smoother.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Well, I think having a track record of success successes
gives you the credibility where you can stand up in
a room and speak the truth. When you've proven to
the company or to your boss or to your colleagues
that you're you're good at your job, you've done it
(30:48):
well in the past. That gives you a certain amount
of space where you can be honest with them because
then they're prepared to take it. But if you come
out of the blue, you don't have a tracker, Kurt,
you start telling them all sorts of things then that
they're not going to listen. To you as much. You'll
get one one chance and then you're out. So building
(31:10):
that credibility is important first. Once you have that, then
then you can then you've earned your spot at the
table and you can speak your mind as much I
mean as much as you as much as you can,
or as much as you feel that you need to.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
You're absolutely right, and it's you have to.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
And it may be tough, like especially if you're starting out,
you may be thinking like, oh, if I'm not pleasing
my client, you know, then how can.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
I build that reputation?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
But one thing that I've learned and even in my profession,
that people will not like it in the moment when
you tell them. And there are ways like where you
can prep your client or prep anybody that you're talking
with that listen, you know, it's important that we have
a conversation. Like when you set the expectations, usually people
(32:04):
are ready, so the reaction is not that knee jerk.
But at the same time, even if they're ready, the
reaction can still be knee jerk, but they start having
respect for you that you looked out for them. So definitely,
I really love that point. Now going back to the
time when you were involved in the IPO. Tell Us
(32:25):
tell our audience a little bit more about the leveraged buyouts,
like what are they and how they kind of went
down during the time of two thousand and eight recession
and they're making their way back.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
Well, back then, you could borrow a lot of money
and take over companies, I mean huge corporations like at
the time RGR and Ebisco, TWA Airlines, you name it.
Beatri's Foods once used to be a multi billion dollar business,
but they were getting taken over by people who had
(33:03):
nobody ever heard of because they were able to borrow
a great deal of money as long as they had
a plan and they had the guts, the courage to
execute on it and had done smaller deals in the past,
and they moved up to bigger deals and then the
money became unimaginable. They were borrowing billions of dollars to
buy bigger and bigger corporations. And what they did was
(33:26):
they would take over a company, then they would use
the assets of that company to pay down the debt.
They would sell off the assets and sell off the
companies that they had bought to pay down their debt,
and they'd be left to the core of the company
that they had bought and that would give them the
income to do very well, so.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Basically getting out the company.
Speaker 5 (33:48):
Yeah, well yeah, because they were going after these big
conglomerates at the time in the eighties and nineties, companies
were just buying businesses right and left, and they were
often related to each other. Preachers Foods started off as
a food company I think in Nebraska, but by the
time it got taken over and leverage buyout, they had
(34:11):
Samsonite luggage, they had orbal red and Backer popcorn, they
had Tropicana orange juice, and then they had these sixty
four companies around the rest of the world outside of
the United States. So they were in completely unrelated businesses
and the it didn't take a genius to look at
and say, you know what, these companies might be more
(34:32):
valuable as a standalone business and putting them all together.
So that's that's really what happened. And a lot of
these companies were not doing as well as they should have,
so everybody kept talking about shareholder value. Shareholder value, so
that's what we kept hearing.
Speaker 4 (34:49):
And are they making a comeback again?
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Now? I think they are. I keep I think because
people read about it, they look back to those days,
and my book might to kindle interest in it. They
went through a period when they were not popular, but frankly,
I think you can make a lot of money. I
don't want to recommend this as of course, but they
(35:14):
are these high yield, high yield bonds. These these companies
that are not that well known, that have a risk
of default, but you can buy their bonds at a
discount and sell them later on down the line for
a large gain, and that was a whole value. I
know several of my friends from those days who really
(35:37):
invested in these so called high yield bonds because they're
they're higher risk, but the reward is potentially quite big.
And if you look at these companies, they're not bad.
I mean, they're not as well known as the companies
that you see every day or you know, they're not
Apple or Facebook or something, but they're they're doing well
(35:58):
in their core business, whether it's furniture making furniture North Carolina,
whether it's it's uh, you know, selling hamburgers, and it's
not it's not with Donald's or Wendy's. But they're doing
a good job. And you know, there's flood Rockers, which
is bought by somebody I had met. So I think
this might be making a comeback. But you know, it
(36:20):
takes a lot of courage to.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Do it absolutely.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
And so as your Johnny has moved through it, what
are you doing currently and what's next for you?
Speaker 5 (36:33):
Well, I'm going to be selling this book. I'm going
to be through out promoting it over the next six
months or so to a year. But I know I
did transform. I did make up. At the last chapter
of my book. It's called the Loss and Redemption, and
because at the end, you know, my wife left and
the so I lost that, but I stry to hear that, Yeah,
(36:57):
it was a long marriage and great wild but I'm
okay now and moved on. But the redemption part was
important because my boss, my CEO back then, threw me
a lifeline and he made me head of the company Foundation.
And what it did is at first I thought it
was a chore, you know, it was a pain in
(37:18):
the neck. But I realized I could make it about
helping people. I knew security guards, drivers, waiters, and I
instituted a micro finance program for them because I realized
that many of them are always in debt. And then
I was at the helm of this foundation when a
huge storm killed ten thousand people in a place in
(37:43):
the central Philippines, and my foundation achieved a bigger profile.
It became a national foundation.
Speaker 4 (37:52):
And that's a lot of people.
Speaker 5 (37:54):
It's a lot of people. And I saw I went,
I flew in there four days after the typhoon, and
there were dead bodies all over, covered over galvanized sheets.
I mean, it's one of the sites I'll never forget.
So I've been through several of those tragedies. But the
fulfillment I get at the end of the day by
(38:15):
helping people, that's something that you cannot buy, and that
to be paid for this kind of work. I told
a friend the other day, I pay somebody to be
able to do this kind of work where I can
help people and and and change their lives for the better.
Organization is startups. We take equity and startups we invest
(38:36):
in them. And so they're very unrelated fields, very unrelated
teams disasters on one hand and then startups on the other.
But I enjoy doing both.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yeah, no, congratulations. It's a good way to.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
Have that career where you're impacting and There's nothing more
powerful than that, the joy and the fulfillment that brings.
Because you're part of somebody's life. You're helping somebody achieve
their dreams, You're helping them through their difficult, challenging times.
So how can people connect with you? Where can they
find your book? And what's the title? If you want
(39:20):
to share your.
Speaker 5 (39:21):
Book, I'll thanks for giving me this moment. It's called
from Manila to Wall Street and it has a subtype
subtitle an Immigrants Journey with America's first Black Tycoon. So
there's two stories. One is my story, but the biggest
story is Reginald Lewis. So it was like the Great
(39:41):
gats to me, and I'm Nick Carraway telling his story.
So it's available on Amazon and hope to get the
book out there starting in May. Should be out there soon.
It's out on Kindle now and it'll be available for
pre orders very soon. So I'm I'm going to start
pushing on it. I'll be going around the country. I'll
(40:03):
be visiting North Carolina. I hope in Durham in particular,
because there's a group there called Black Wall Street hooked
up with a few years ago. They invited and paid
for me to speak there, so I hope to visit
them again and I enjoyed my time in the state.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
Yeah. No, that sounds very promising. So I'm sure the
book is going to be amazing and thank you. Yeah,
and you know their audience, like you've heard, which's journey
and it's filled with nuggets of wisdom and insights and
I'm sure you all will get a lot of value
(40:40):
from it. So definitely to go and get it.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
Thank you for that plug God Davia.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Absolutely, And if people want to connect with you, what's
the best way to connect with you?
Speaker 5 (40:58):
My email is This email is actually on my website, Okay,
Wismiley dot com. If you just google I L y.
First name is Butch B t H. Don't ask me
how I got that name, but that's a You can
just google it and the website will pop up and
I've got an email there where you can shoot you
(41:19):
an email.
Speaker 4 (41:21):
All fantastic. Any last words you'd like to share with
the listeners.
Speaker 5 (41:27):
Well, first of all, I honor you your journey because you're
an example for everyone else. You come to the United
States and your journey has been spectacular, and you've got
a great platform and to your listeners. I think the
key lesson for me is what Reginald Lewis taught me,
is that to keep going no matter what, and no
(41:49):
matter what there is in your life now and may
be terrible. You may have a tough boss and it's
a dead end job or something, but things are going
to turn around and there Oharrison, tomorrow is another day,
and I think you at the end of the day,
you've got to take stop stock, get some rest, and
(42:11):
then get up next morning. I think you feel better
about yourself and keep going no matter what.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Absolutely well, thank you for joining us, but we enjoyed
your conversation, and thank thank you for your time, and
thank you, my dear audience, because without you, the show
would not be possible. You are the life and blood
of this show. Do reach out to us, let us
know how can we serve you and how can we
(42:40):
support you in living the life that you deserve.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
And thank you one for making this show technically possible.
So be well and take care until next time.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host d V Park, we hope you have learned more
about how to start living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people
who have experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building
meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Dvpark shares what happened to
her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to
(43:13):
work directly with people across the globe. She not only
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform
relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live
the life they want. If you are ready to live
the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more
at www dot dwpark dot com and you can connect
with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward
(43:37):
to you joining us next week
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.