January 28, 2025 • 38 mins
Gen Z—the "COVID Generation"—faces rising anxiety, depression, and suicide, impacting workplaces, schools, and communities. Leaders must act now.
In this episode, Dr. Josh McConkey joins Divya Parekh to discuss Be the Weight Behind the Spear, sharing how mentors, teachers, and leaders can equip Gen Z with resilience and purpose.
🎧 Don’t miss this vital conversation—tune in to support the leaders of tomorrow!
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
In this episode, Dr. Josh McConkey joins Divya Parekh to discuss Be the Weight Behind the Spear, sharing how mentors, teachers, and leaders can equip Gen Z with resilience and purpose.
🎧 Don’t miss this vital conversation—tune in to support the leaders of tomorrow!
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:26):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host w Park. Do
you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you
want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvoparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
(00:46):
are living the life they want. You will learn how
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com
and you can connect with vants contact dant divpark dot com.
(01:07):
This is beyond confidence and now here's your host, w Park.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Good morning listeners. It is awesome to be here with you,
and you know why because you are the life and
blood of this show. Without you, the show would not
be possible. And today we're just going to jump straight
into our show. We have doctor Joshua Us. Welcome, josh
(01:35):
how are you.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
It is a pleasure to be here. Thank you very
much for having me on the show.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh. Absolutely, you are doing some amazing things. So usually
we start out from the you door, a childhood memory
or a person who left a post and mark on you.
Can you share with us any memories that you might
have or any people's impact that impacted your life.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You know, for me, my teachers and obviously my parents
and family just had such an integral role, you know
me growing up, I mean huge history buff, so you know,
I always looked up to military members and teachers. You
know a lot of my teachers were in that age
group had served in Vietnam or like Vietnam veterans. So
(02:24):
mister Brown, mister Hawk, mister Reno, A lot of those
teachers from high school. Had I had a lot to
do with me growing up the way I am, and
of course my parents, my dad, my mom, and stepmom.
So I've had I've had a lot of people I
have I've kind of coined that term be the weight
behind the spear, and I've had a lot of people
that have been the weight behind my spear to you know,
(02:46):
lead me to where I am as a leader right now.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Yeah, that's the saying that's not very common. So tell
us a little bit more about that.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
So when you when you talk about, you know, weight
behind the spear, I think people have heard the term
tip of the spear before and you'll you'll hear that
with some of our special operators, special forces. I worked
as a medical director for para rescue like the PJ,
some of the combat search and rescue teams and just
amazing individuals like these guys are jumping out of helicopters,
(03:17):
they're kicking down doors, they're they're you know, people that
are members of the teams that you know take down
guys like Ben Laden and I don't do that. I
don't take lives. I save lives. Yeah, I'm a physician
and I can be the but but I realized that
I can still be the weight behind that spear. Every
single hero out there. You talk about teachers and coaches
(03:40):
and athletes, you know, special Forces operators, They all have
somebody in their life that gave them the confidence to
do what they do. Teachers, coaches, volunteers, mentors and family.
Those things are critically important, and I want people to
focus on their roles as those people being the weight
behind mind the spear for our heroes in this country.
(04:02):
And the more that we focus on that, the more
we can develop leadership skills in our youth and the
next generation of Americans. We getta hand this torch over.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Right, absolutely, And I want to thank you for your
services because, as you mentioned that you didn't jump off
the helicopters and all that. But the way I see
it is that we as human beings, we are a
collective force of nature. You can do anything alone. I mean,
(04:33):
even if you know, while we're sitting over here, just
think about the technology or the sweatshirt or like the mic,
anything that is in use by us or anyone, hundreds
and hundreds of hands have touched it. Even if we
talk about a single piece of that mic in front
(04:54):
of you and what is happening over there, Like you know,
somebody created different parts in different industries I don't know
which factories, and then somebody brought it together, assembled it,
somebody shipped it, somebody delivered it, or it wasn't a store,
and so many hands touch it. So it's important to
(05:15):
realize that, yes, it's important to have that individual expression
and at the same time recognize that we are a
part of collective. So thank you for your service.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Oh absolutely, thank you. I mean you can say the
same thing for every person. Every individual is literally a
collection of all the people around them, all those family
friends we are at, teachers, coaches, you know, physicians, first responders.
You know, everyone is a collection of those things and
that's what makes you who you are. So every single
(05:46):
person matters. They discount their role. You know, those decisions
that you make every single day make a difference to
somebody where whether you realize it or not, and you know,
take pride in that and be part of your community.
I want people to engage the communities, get out there
and volunteer, coach. There's lots of opportunities out there.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
So tell us what made you decide to go in
the military. Service and be part of that because I'm
assuming that it's it was very high pressure and stressful.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yeah, I served in Iraq in two thousand and seven.
I did one air assault and it was the scariest
thing I have ever done. But you know, the reasons
that I serve it's, you know, the men and women
that served before me. So I was born in the seventies.
I was born in nineteen seventy seven, and I've lived
in the shadow of the Vietnam War my entire life.
(06:43):
So there was a whole you know, a whole group
of Americans that served in a war and such a
huge military history buff that I just always looked up
to those men and women. And when it came my
time to serve, you know, I joined before nine to eleven.
So I initially joined the Army National Guard to get
(07:04):
out there and do some medical mission work. So it
was built. The recruiter tells me, you know, hey, we
do all these medical mission trips in Honduras and Belize
and Guatemala, all this stuff in Central America. There's you know,
we really need your medical expertise. So when I when
I got to medical school, I took a direct commission
that was That was two thousand and then we all
(07:25):
would you know what happened in September of two thousand
and one, you know, nine to eleven care off and
you know, so we've been at war my entire career
now essentially, and you know, it's created a lot of opportunities,
but I've seen a lot of a lot of death
and destruction as well, and it really kind of shapes
who you are and why what you do matters. So
(07:46):
you know, I kind of wake up literally every single
morning just thinking about the metal women that didn't make
it through Iraq. I literally carried some body bags on
Metavac helicopters and just take a lot of pride in that.
But I try to live every day for the men
and women that can't.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, now, it's you're absolutely right, and it gets to
you every single time, and it's important that life.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Life is special and I have a full appreciation.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Of that, absolutely, And how did you transition out from there?
And thank you for having the heart to serve and
then tell us about your transition from there.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Into the ar so and I'm an emergency physician as well,
So I was as I was a physician in the
military as well, So I still do both. I'm still
an emergency doctor and I command right now. After my
time in Iraq, I switched to the Air Force. After that,
I was prior Army, so I commanded Andrew's Air Force
base up in Washington, d C. For a squadron. And
(08:56):
you know, that transition coming home, I think for a
lot of that trends is very difficult. So when you
get into a combat zone and things become life and
death and you see a lot of death and destruction,
it's very easy to get into a battle mindset because
you know, people have this natural, uh survival survival mode,
(09:18):
like it's like, you know, kill or be killed, and
you snap into that very very quickly. Coming back out
of that is extremely hard. So I really struggled when
I came back to the US after my time in
Iraq and jumped right back into the emergency department, probably
in less than two weeks from getting back, and I
clearly was not ready. I definitely struggled and met my
(09:41):
wife now Elsa, and we actually moved to New Zealand
for almost a year after I returned and after we
had met, I'd been home for prior year or so
and it really helped me, helped me get my head straight,
and I played soccer at Road United and worked in
a little emergency department road to Rua and then kind
of my head's face into a better place. And I
(10:02):
think my wife for that, she has everything to do
with that.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
So you mentioned about death and destruction, and there's so
many people. It's not just our veterans coming out of
that or facing it is day to day and it
could be that your hous is wiped off, like you know,
as we have seen and lived in North Carolina. We
have seen with Halleen, we have seen with Hurricane in Florida,
(10:31):
and now right.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Now, just so much destruction. It's right, it's definitely hard.
I mean everyone has something to deal with, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, So when people are going through the daily lives,
right this is something so unexpected, like they don't expect like, Okay,
I've got a beautiful house where I've put my memories
into it and next day it has gone. How can
people deal And we can come back to the will
revisit the physical importance and all of that, but the
(11:05):
mental importance, like having that mental well being is so critical.
How can people hold it together during these tough times.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
You know, focusing on that weight behind your spear, what
carries you. Who do you look up to, Like, who
did you learn from? I mean your family, your friends.
You've got some great co workers, you know, volunteer organizations,
private teachers, coaches, like everyone has something to lean on.
(11:37):
Have a good team around you. That's your team, like
the people that you grew up with, your friends, your family.
You know, I think most people hold that in pretty
high regards, you know, and lean on those people. They're
there for you because at the end of the day,
nobody really cares how much money you make, or what
kind of car you drive, or what kind of house
(11:58):
you're in. You know, nobody really cares about that stuff
when it comes down to like living and dying. And
so you know, lean on those people around you. That's
that's what they're there for. Everybody has a breaking point.
So when you talk like mental health issues and mental
health struggles. As an emergency doctor, I see that. So
I see anxiety, depression, and suicide and it rips my
(12:20):
heart out every time. So you find those people around
you that can help you through those very dark moments.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Kind of going back to what you had mentioned, earlier.
Doctor Josh, you mentioned that you went through that tough
time and you leaned on your wife. So can you
share us a few things that you did during that
time that helped you not only come out of it
as well as continue helping others.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
So, you know, the VA, the Veterans Health Administration, you know,
has some great resources for veterans, you know, the PTSD
and anxiety depression, you know, we have you'll see a
lot of suicides in military, you know, men and women
that have served, and you know, trying to get some
visibility on that as best you can and talk about it,
(13:11):
don't don't hide it. Everybody has a breaking point, even
Special Forces operators. These guys are the strongest, the fastest,
the smartest and the most mentally tough people on planet Earth.
And they still have suicides in that group. So everybody
has a breaking point. You know, realize that it's okay
to talk about mental health. It's not something to be
(13:34):
ashamed of. Like everybody, at some point in their life,
in certain situations, will will break. I mean the death
of a child or a spouse or you know, financial hardships.
I mean, just everybody's got a different breaking point. So
just talk about it and be open and honest.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Absolutely, and that's important and kind of moving towards as
you mentioned that these special guys also have their breaking point,
so not only in the army, but talking about the businesses.
And because just yesterday I was talking with one of
my clients and he is a salesweepee and he was
(14:13):
talking about his team, like, you know, how can I
motivate them? And it's important that they focus on efforts
and performance and they if they don't, if they're not
achieving it, then there's something wrong. And just the mandate
that like this is mandatory, you've got to do that.
(14:36):
That's going to discourage the employees. What would you say
to And fortunately my client is very empathetic and amazing,
so he is creating space for them that you know,
how can I help you succeed what obstacles you're facing?
But with your experience, what would you tell business leaders
(14:57):
how can they create that space for anyone? I mean
and especially today's younger generation.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
So certainly there's a lot of different things you can do,
like as a as a as a business leaders, as
a military leader. You know, having a solid team. Now
that team comes it's trust, So they need to trust
in their leadership, and the leadership needs to get to
know their people like as people. I mean, certainly there's there,
there's targets, there's there's objectives that you that you have
(15:29):
to hit to be a part of this team, and
there's standards that you have to meet to be a
part of that team. But everybody is different, So what
motivates one person is not going to motivate the next person,
and that those are really the key skills of leadership
is knowing your people what's going to motivate them. That pressure.
Pressure can be great, you know, high pressure creates diamonds,
(15:51):
and then there's some people that just don't do as
well under that pressure and kind of tend to wilt
or break down. Everybody is different, so you have to
know how to address those with each of your team members,
what motivates them and what brings them down. But it
all comes down to trust. If your team trusts you
and they know that you care, they're gonna they're going
(16:13):
to find a way to get to the objectives that
you set. You know, I set pretty lofty goals with
my team at Andrews Air Force Base, and you know,
there's been members of that have not been able to
meet some of those standards, and you know, they're no
longer part of that organization anymore. But you know, they
they knew then they trusted me, and they knew that
I cared about them. So you know, those are difficult
(16:35):
decisions you have to make as a leader, but if
they trust you, you'll get the results.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, now that's very profound. So going back to what
you shed just now that it's a very high pressure
job and for some that high pressure can create that
adrenaline stream which gives them the high and they are
all for it. So as an individual, so we've talked
more perspective of business leader, what about from an individual perspective,
(17:04):
how can they recognize, you know, what are they cut
out for and what pathways they can create for themselves.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
So and then you mentioned a little bit ago with
just you know some some of the younger generation as well.
Giving them ownership in your organization is as quickly as possible.
You know, they there's a little bit of of a
different mindset and you know, being raised on iPhones and
iPads and being constantly entertained and some some resiliency issues.
(17:37):
So the faster you can get people to buy in
to your organization and know that they have ownership, you know,
being part of that team, not just not just not
just a part, not just showing up and punching the clock,
but realizing that what they do every day matters and
having that ownership, you'll you'll get them to you'll get
much better results and they'll be much more successful.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
M H. You're absolutely right on the mark about that.
And so what you're sharing with me is that the
leader needs to build that trust. And when you're building
that trust and creating that space, you're allowing not only
in your squadron, but in the business team squadron or
(18:24):
whatever you want to call it, like in a pot
or wherever it is. You're allowing them to step up
and become the leaders because they will be the next
generation leading the next incoming force. And as I was
reading just very recently, since I work on intergenerational communication
and I'm always talking about that and doing workshops, that
(18:46):
a new generation has already begun gen Z gen Z
is booted out and then starting from twenty twenty five,
So it's important that we continue to build these.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
People and business leaders. You know, whether you realize it
or not. You know this, this generational difference, it is
your problem. And the sooner you get involved now, the
better the results are going to be down the road,
because every single one of these individuals in however many years,
(19:18):
is coming to look for a job at your business,
you know, and realizing just the differences and the just
the different makeup and expectations of that generation, you still
need them to be successful. So what worked for you
fifty years ago or twenty years ago, or even ten
years ago is not going to necessarily work that That
(19:39):
complacency kills business, It stifles ideas. So you're going to
have to find a way to be able to relate
to this generation and make sure that they're successful. It's
it is a much different world that that new generation
does not learn the same way or respond the same
way as I do, you know as a guy born
(20:01):
in the seventies. So it's but that's that's that's what
a good leader will be able to do. You adapt
and overcome.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Absolutely. Adaptability that is such a keyword. And what you
mentioned was that newer generations, I mean, every generation learns differently.
Now that said, when we talk about the newer generation,
So I have a lot of my clients as I
do the executive leadership coaching. You know, so many of
(20:28):
them tell me that I want to work for a
company that is impacting the society or something that's doing
meaningful that when I'm coming at the end of the
day that I know that I've just not done my
work for a paycheck, but I am able to impact
others as well. And you always say that you know
(20:48):
you are serving out there in the community, and you
have done so much. So tell us a little bit
more about how the companies, you know, they don't have
to be completely pro but how can they get involved
and start serving in their community.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah, so that community engagement, I mean, not only does
it give you better visibility for your business. Let me
just look at it, it's marketing, right, So get out there,
Go go sponsor a little league team, or like coaching,
go go coach some sports soccer, t ball, baseball, basketball,
find some youth leagues or your YMCA, getting involved in
(21:27):
volunteering in your church or your school. There's so many
different ways for you to get involved that not only
are you helping build like the future of your business
because you're investing in these kids now so that they
can have some of these leadership skills and resiliency skills,
and you show that positive role model you know as
a business owner or community leader, they're going to get
(21:49):
to you eventually if you wait until they show up
on your underdoorstep with an application where everything is online now,
but to try to address those things eighteen years later,
like well your way by the eight ball, so and
then if you think about that is more of a
return on investment with just your people, and then it's
it's it's marketing for your business. Put your name on
(22:10):
the back of the shirt, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
That's the perfect way because I do recall, like you
know you mentioned that put your name on the back
of the shirt. Cisco used to send out so many
volunteers during the robotics competitions because when I was there
with my kids and all that, it was amazing and
they were not only getting to know the youngsters and
(22:34):
forming that relationship. So what a perfect way to do that.
Put your name out there on the T shirt, get
the word out there. So definitely a great way to do.
And I know you mentioned that you have started a
nonprofit organization. Can you share with us about that?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Yeah, thank you. So we've started a nonprofit organization, Weight
behind the Spear Foundation and really taking some of the
fundamentals of my book book, you know, be the Weight
behind the Spear, and you know, living right here in
North Carolina. At the end of September, we had just
horrific stores with Hurricane Helene and it just destroyed some
beautiful areas of western North Carolina. And so the first
(23:14):
thing we've done is worked on raising money and trying
to get that community engagement and promote some volunteerism, but
just raising funds for western North Carolina. And we've had
some some success with doing that, and you know, just
putting putting the money where the mouth is, right, I mean,
you write the book, and I want to make sure
that I'm showing that example and live in that. So
(23:34):
it's gone very well.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Absolutely. So you mentioned about your book, Weight behind the Spear,
So tell us what got you inspired to write that
book and give us a few glimpses from it.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
So the things that I saw in the emergency department,
you know, right after COVID and then as an emergency commander,
really they still have me worried. So as an emergency doctor,
you know, the anxiety, the depression, the suicide, and the
generation of Americans where there's a two or three year span.
(24:12):
We shut these kids out of their schools, we shut
them out of their churches. They literally were not interacting
with anyone else other than over iPads during very critical
years in their development. And you're seeing the results of
that in the mental health crisis that we have, and
it's much worse in that aged population. I mean, they
missed out of their high school graduation. There was a
(24:34):
class that literally missed out on some of their college graduations.
I mean, wow, they've just been cheated out of so
much in the mental toll on that or we're seeing
that And as a physician, that's what I deal with,
and as a military commander, I have that same cohort
of individuals that the same age group that I command,
and you see lack of resiliency. The mental health issues
(24:55):
are still very present. And I never wanted to just
sit there and whine and complain about something like what
can we do about it? So number one, you have
to recognize that there's a problem, and then the book
is my prescription on how I feel we need to
fix that problem. So be the weight behind the spear,
get more people engaged in their community. Just get people
(25:18):
involved and just realize that what they do every day matters,
and just celebrate the best resource that we have in
this country. That's people. You know, said it over and over. Teachers, coaches, volunteers, mentors, family,
that's so important. That's the best thing we have in
this country. So let's celebrate it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
People definitely, I mean people make it or break it,
regardless of any organization there is. And you did say
that there is a very prevalent issue bit of mental
well being that's going on in this gen z. So
there are a lot of business leaders out there and
sometimes you know they're scratching their heads on how to
(25:59):
deal with it. So can you share with us a
few strategies and steps that they could use in dealing
and recognizing and dealing with it.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
I know as a business owner, so I owned a
business in Texas and just the individuals just not understanding
it could the repercussions of some of their decisions. So
just trying to coach them up as best you can.
You know, some of them will take take the teaching,
some won't. But I remember just one case of one
(26:30):
of our secretary staff, you know, young or nineteen years
old and just just very spontaneous. Something pops up and
she wants to go take off on this vacation across
the country and gives us less than two weeks notice
that Hey, I'm just going to take off. I'm going
to quit my job and go do this, and and
try to sit down and just teach im like, hey, listen,
(26:50):
you know, just trying to be a professional. Number one,
at least if you can give us two weeks notice, right,
because we still have to fill your position, and just
talk about the repercussions what happens when you just bail
on a job and a business like that, and the
other people that have to suffer. Other people have to
pick up your shifts now and maybe they had to
have childcare issues they have to deal with. And at
(27:11):
the end of the day she said, wow, I'm out.
Six months later she comes back, it's like, hey, you
can I have my job back? No, no, no, you can't.
You didn't give us two weeks notice. You know, you
weren't very professional like the other people that had to
pick up the slack when you left, which is zero
notice like that, you know it just it impacts other people.
(27:32):
So just trying to just teach and coach and to
think about other people, because when you've been raised in
a bubble for two or three years where it was
only about you and no interaction with other people, like literally,
your your own personal actions almost had zero impact on
anyone else on the planet because you were living in
a house on an iPad. But those things that you do,
(27:52):
they do impact other people. So trying to point out
that and just teach and get them to plug back
into society. There's just it's a challenge at times, but
very important.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Some very powerful story and messages over there. So what
I'm hearing is that if you're a business leader, it's
important to setting those expectations because so many times what
happens is that working remotely, and now a lot of
companies are mandating going back to work five days a week,
(28:27):
so that that will remain to be seen you know
how the younger generation and even the older generation respond
to that.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Yeah, you cannot build a team over over over over
Skype and Zoom and Microsoft teams, you can't. You have
to have some of that that that that physical and
personal interaction to build some chemistry because if you're if
your entire team is just built over looking at a screen,
(28:56):
you're just not going to get that that that buy
in in that team culture. It's very, very difficult to
create culture and make any changes in that in an
organization just over an iPad and a screen. You have
to have people in the office interacting, how is your day,
talk about their kids. I mean, we're all people, and
(29:16):
until you can kind of get them together and build
that culture, it's just not something you can do over
video screens. You just can't.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
No, you're absolutely right, because there's something to be said
when you're in a room with other people. That energy
is completely different. And yet there are still several companies
who are fully remote. So do you have any tips
for those people? Like, you know, how could they build
(29:46):
whatever culture they can over the zoom or scott.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
You have to have some like in person events or
just some some parties, you know, great Christmas party. I
mean at least probably once quarter having some type of
physical interaction. And you will notice the higher turnover rates
in businesses that operate mostly just over video screens and
(30:13):
remote workers. They will tend to jump from job to
job because they're going to chase if you can pay
more money. They don't. They don't have the loyalty, they
don't have that buy in to your organization and really
feel like as a real team as much when they're
not there in person. So the more you can get
them to interact with one another, having some events, workshops,
(30:37):
those types of things. You've got to find a way
to get people together. Gets this hard to build that team, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
No, absolutely, And it's important to have that one on
one connection. Whether it is like offsite or whether whatever,
it is really really important to get those people together
and build that camaraderie. And that also helps with the
mental hull. So in dealing with the mental health. So
(31:03):
many times people will turn their camera off during the
zoom meetings or the team meetings, and that connection is
it's almost like hunting behind the walls.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
So whatever exactly I mean, so you're just taking to
the next sleven, Not only are you not there with
any physical interaction, you just push a button, click your screen,
you know, just I'll just shut off. Nobody has to
see me cry, Nobody has to know that I'm you know,
concerned or upset or anxious. I mean, do you just
you live in a small little bubble. It's it's not good. Mentally,
(31:37):
it's not good.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Absolutely. So if you were to pull together the wisdom
nuggets from your book, like you know, and two to
top two to three pieces of advice, what might that be?
Speaker 4 (31:53):
You know, first one is accountability and that on several
different I mean just with with your reaction with people,
with accountability for results in your own actions. But just
like physical accountability is critically important, you know. And then
when I talked about you know, kind of nobody likes rules, right,
but if you talk about standards, it's much different. So
(32:16):
Coach k legendary basketball coach at Duke University, you know,
when I was a professor there at Duke, he had
a great lecture where he came into our residency program
and the biggest takeaway I was in awe. It was
two hours. It was the most it is literally the
most incredible like leadership lecture anything I've ever heard. The
(32:38):
big takeaway just being you know, just that the team
organization culture, it's about standards. No nobody likes the rules,
but if you talk about standards and you know your
team trusts you, and like, hey listen, you know you're
not meeting our standard as this team. And when you
talk about it just as standards instead of instead of rules,
(33:00):
people really respond to that and they can understand that m.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Hmm, absolutely, and anything else you would like to share.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Yeah, And empowering them to make decisions. So when you
talk about get ways to get them to buy in
and be part of that team and just have that
ownership over your organization. Empower them so they don't micromanage them,
you know, giving them opportunities to grow in leadership and
make decisions. Use a leader, your jobs to put them
(33:32):
in positions where they can be successful. Right, You don't
just throw them in and hope they swim. But the
more that you can empower them to make decisions. Like,
nobody likes like a micromanager as a boss. So as
as a leader, I don't know everything. I'm not a genius,
but I recognize incredibly good talent and I surround myself
(33:53):
with good people. So I empower my people to make
great decisions and I don't get in their chili. If
I'm having to get in there chili micromanage. I made
a bad decision as a leader. I have to own
that and I got to find somebody else to put
in that position. But that's my responsibility as a leader
and I own that, so, you know, don't micromanage, empower
them to make decisions that I'm learning.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yeah, that's that's really powerful because so many times what
happens is that business leaders are not focused on that.
They're like, oh, they're looking at that their people are
not doing the work. But it's that accountability, holding yourself accountable.
It is such a powerful thing to do. So share
(34:35):
with our listeners as to how can they connect with
you and where can they find you for your book?
And also like, you know, how can we share with
them the nonprofit organization that you have shed So that
would be great.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
Yeah, So website is weight behind the Spear dot com.
So w E I G H T weight by behind
the Spear dot com and the foundation. If you go
to wait behind the Spear dot com or with Slash Foundation,
that'll take you right to the foundation and then I
can be followed on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Josh McConkie MD
(35:14):
on Instagram and Twitter, it's Maconki or x It's Maconki
double seven fantastic.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Are there any of their last thoughts that you would
like to share with her audience.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Yeah, what you do every day matters. Take pride in that,
even if it's the smallest thing. If you don't want
to volunteer or coach, or you know you're not into
volunteering in schools with kids, go volunteer at your animal shelter,
right even you know, you talk about every decision that
you make matters. So if you even go into an
(35:46):
animal shelter and you're helping these animals, these animals now
become support animals, you know, support pets for other individuals
that help them out with their anxieties and their issues.
So what you do every day matters. Just realize that
and take pride in that. And you know your community
needs you.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
I really like that. Your community needs you so important.
So thank you doctor Josh for joining us and sharing
your heartfelt mission and advice and the wisdom nuggets that
you have accrued over your life journey.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Thank you, it's been a pleasure, honored.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Absolutely, Thank you listeners for joining us because you know
without you, the show would not be possible. And definitely,
as you have heard doctor Josh today, you know, definitely
visit his website, check it out and see how you
could support our western North Carolina people have gone through
(36:53):
something and as they predicted, like you know that hurricane
cause floods that for after a thousand years so lives
were destroyed and just just impact biblical, biblical level destruction.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
So you know we need you.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
So whatever support you can, we would appreciate your support
and let us know how we can support you who
can be braying in How can we serve you to
live the best life you can? And thank you on
for making the show technically possible. Be valu and take
care until next time.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host Divva Park, we hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Diva Park shares what happened to her
when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work
(37:51):
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people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships
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(38:15):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:26):
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(01:07):
This is beyond confidence and now here's your host, w Park.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Good morning listeners. It is awesome to be here with you,
and you know why because you are the life and
blood of this show. Without you, the show would not
be possible. And today we're just going to jump straight
into our show. We have doctor Joshua Us. Welcome, josh
(01:35):
how are you.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
It is a pleasure to be here. Thank you very
much for having me on the show.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh. Absolutely, you are doing some amazing things. So usually
we start out from the you door, a childhood memory
or a person who left a post and mark on you.
Can you share with us any memories that you might
have or any people's impact that impacted your life.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You know, for me, my teachers and obviously my parents
and family just had such an integral role, you know
me growing up, I mean huge history buff, so you know,
I always looked up to military members and teachers. You
know a lot of my teachers were in that age
group had served in Vietnam or like Vietnam veterans. So
(02:24):
mister Brown, mister Hawk, mister Reno, A lot of those
teachers from high school. Had I had a lot to
do with me growing up the way I am, and
of course my parents, my dad, my mom, and stepmom.
So I've had I've had a lot of people I
have I've kind of coined that term be the weight
behind the spear, and I've had a lot of people
that have been the weight behind my spear to you know,
(02:46):
lead me to where I am as a leader right now.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Yeah, that's the saying that's not very common. So tell
us a little bit more about that.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
So when you when you talk about, you know, weight
behind the spear, I think people have heard the term
tip of the spear before and you'll you'll hear that
with some of our special operators, special forces. I worked
as a medical director for para rescue like the PJ,
some of the combat search and rescue teams and just
amazing individuals like these guys are jumping out of helicopters,
(03:17):
they're kicking down doors, they're they're you know, people that
are members of the teams that you know take down
guys like Ben Laden and I don't do that. I
don't take lives. I save lives. Yeah, I'm a physician
and I can be the but but I realized that
I can still be the weight behind that spear. Every
single hero out there. You talk about teachers and coaches
(03:40):
and athletes, you know, special Forces operators, They all have
somebody in their life that gave them the confidence to
do what they do. Teachers, coaches, volunteers, mentors and family.
Those things are critically important, and I want people to
focus on their roles as those people being the weight
behind mind the spear for our heroes in this country.
(04:02):
And the more that we focus on that, the more
we can develop leadership skills in our youth and the
next generation of Americans. We getta hand this torch over.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Right, absolutely, And I want to thank you for your
services because, as you mentioned that you didn't jump off
the helicopters and all that. But the way I see
it is that we as human beings, we are a
collective force of nature. You can do anything alone. I mean,
(04:33):
even if you know, while we're sitting over here, just
think about the technology or the sweatshirt or like the mic,
anything that is in use by us or anyone, hundreds
and hundreds of hands have touched it. Even if we
talk about a single piece of that mic in front
(04:54):
of you and what is happening over there, Like you know,
somebody created different parts in different industries I don't know
which factories, and then somebody brought it together, assembled it,
somebody shipped it, somebody delivered it, or it wasn't a store,
and so many hands touch it. So it's important to
(05:15):
realize that, yes, it's important to have that individual expression
and at the same time recognize that we are a
part of collective. So thank you for your service.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Oh absolutely, thank you. I mean you can say the
same thing for every person. Every individual is literally a
collection of all the people around them, all those family
friends we are at, teachers, coaches, you know, physicians, first responders.
You know, everyone is a collection of those things and
that's what makes you who you are. So every single
(05:46):
person matters. They discount their role. You know, those decisions
that you make every single day make a difference to
somebody where whether you realize it or not, and you know,
take pride in that and be part of your community.
I want people to engage the communities, get out there
and volunteer, coach. There's lots of opportunities out there.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
So tell us what made you decide to go in
the military. Service and be part of that because I'm
assuming that it's it was very high pressure and stressful.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yeah, I served in Iraq in two thousand and seven.
I did one air assault and it was the scariest
thing I have ever done. But you know, the reasons
that I serve it's, you know, the men and women
that served before me. So I was born in the seventies.
I was born in nineteen seventy seven, and I've lived
in the shadow of the Vietnam War my entire life.
(06:43):
So there was a whole you know, a whole group
of Americans that served in a war and such a
huge military history buff that I just always looked up
to those men and women. And when it came my
time to serve, you know, I joined before nine to eleven.
So I initially joined the Army National Guard to get
(07:04):
out there and do some medical mission work. So it
was built. The recruiter tells me, you know, hey, we
do all these medical mission trips in Honduras and Belize
and Guatemala, all this stuff in Central America. There's you know,
we really need your medical expertise. So when I when
I got to medical school, I took a direct commission
that was That was two thousand and then we all
(07:25):
would you know what happened in September of two thousand
and one, you know, nine to eleven care off and
you know, so we've been at war my entire career
now essentially, and you know, it's created a lot of opportunities,
but I've seen a lot of a lot of death
and destruction as well, and it really kind of shapes
who you are and why what you do matters. So
(07:46):
you know, I kind of wake up literally every single
morning just thinking about the metal women that didn't make
it through Iraq. I literally carried some body bags on
Metavac helicopters and just take a lot of pride in that.
But I try to live every day for the men
and women that can't.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, now, it's you're absolutely right, and it gets to
you every single time, and it's important that life.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Life is special and I have a full appreciation.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Of that, absolutely, And how did you transition out from there?
And thank you for having the heart to serve and
then tell us about your transition from there.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Into the ar so and I'm an emergency physician as well,
So I was as I was a physician in the
military as well, So I still do both. I'm still
an emergency doctor and I command right now. After my
time in Iraq, I switched to the Air Force. After that,
I was prior Army, so I commanded Andrew's Air Force
base up in Washington, d C. For a squadron. And
(08:56):
you know, that transition coming home, I think for a
lot of that trends is very difficult. So when you
get into a combat zone and things become life and
death and you see a lot of death and destruction,
it's very easy to get into a battle mindset because
you know, people have this natural, uh survival survival mode,
(09:18):
like it's like, you know, kill or be killed, and
you snap into that very very quickly. Coming back out
of that is extremely hard. So I really struggled when
I came back to the US after my time in
Iraq and jumped right back into the emergency department, probably
in less than two weeks from getting back, and I
clearly was not ready. I definitely struggled and met my
(09:41):
wife now Elsa, and we actually moved to New Zealand
for almost a year after I returned and after we
had met, I'd been home for prior year or so
and it really helped me, helped me get my head straight,
and I played soccer at Road United and worked in
a little emergency department road to Rua and then kind
of my head's face into a better place. And I
(10:02):
think my wife for that, she has everything to do
with that.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
So you mentioned about death and destruction, and there's so
many people. It's not just our veterans coming out of
that or facing it is day to day and it
could be that your hous is wiped off, like you know,
as we have seen and lived in North Carolina. We
have seen with Halleen, we have seen with Hurricane in Florida,
(10:31):
and now right.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Now, just so much destruction. It's right, it's definitely hard.
I mean everyone has something to deal with, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, So when people are going through the daily lives,
right this is something so unexpected, like they don't expect like, Okay,
I've got a beautiful house where I've put my memories
into it and next day it has gone. How can
people deal And we can come back to the will
revisit the physical importance and all of that, but the
(11:05):
mental importance, like having that mental well being is so critical.
How can people hold it together during these tough times.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
You know, focusing on that weight behind your spear, what
carries you. Who do you look up to, Like, who
did you learn from? I mean your family, your friends.
You've got some great co workers, you know, volunteer organizations,
private teachers, coaches, like everyone has something to lean on.
(11:37):
Have a good team around you. That's your team, like
the people that you grew up with, your friends, your family.
You know, I think most people hold that in pretty
high regards, you know, and lean on those people. They're
there for you because at the end of the day,
nobody really cares how much money you make, or what
kind of car you drive, or what kind of house
(11:58):
you're in. You know, nobody really cares about that stuff
when it comes down to like living and dying. And
so you know, lean on those people around you. That's
that's what they're there for. Everybody has a breaking point.
So when you talk like mental health issues and mental
health struggles. As an emergency doctor, I see that. So
I see anxiety, depression, and suicide and it rips my
(12:20):
heart out every time. So you find those people around
you that can help you through those very dark moments.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Kind of going back to what you had mentioned, earlier.
Doctor Josh, you mentioned that you went through that tough
time and you leaned on your wife. So can you
share us a few things that you did during that
time that helped you not only come out of it
as well as continue helping others.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
So, you know, the VA, the Veterans Health Administration, you know,
has some great resources for veterans, you know, the PTSD
and anxiety depression, you know, we have you'll see a
lot of suicides in military, you know, men and women
that have served, and you know, trying to get some
visibility on that as best you can and talk about it,
(13:11):
don't don't hide it. Everybody has a breaking point, even
Special Forces operators. These guys are the strongest, the fastest,
the smartest and the most mentally tough people on planet Earth.
And they still have suicides in that group. So everybody
has a breaking point. You know, realize that it's okay
to talk about mental health. It's not something to be
(13:34):
ashamed of. Like everybody, at some point in their life,
in certain situations, will will break. I mean the death
of a child or a spouse or you know, financial hardships.
I mean, just everybody's got a different breaking point. So
just talk about it and be open and honest.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Absolutely, and that's important and kind of moving towards as
you mentioned that these special guys also have their breaking point,
so not only in the army, but talking about the businesses.
And because just yesterday I was talking with one of
my clients and he is a salesweepee and he was
(14:13):
talking about his team, like, you know, how can I
motivate them? And it's important that they focus on efforts
and performance and they if they don't, if they're not
achieving it, then there's something wrong. And just the mandate
that like this is mandatory, you've got to do that.
(14:36):
That's going to discourage the employees. What would you say
to And fortunately my client is very empathetic and amazing,
so he is creating space for them that you know,
how can I help you succeed what obstacles you're facing?
But with your experience, what would you tell business leaders
(14:57):
how can they create that space for anyone? I mean
and especially today's younger generation.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
So certainly there's a lot of different things you can do,
like as a as a as a business leaders, as
a military leader. You know, having a solid team. Now
that team comes it's trust, So they need to trust
in their leadership, and the leadership needs to get to
know their people like as people. I mean, certainly there's there,
there's targets, there's there's objectives that you that you have
(15:29):
to hit to be a part of this team, and
there's standards that you have to meet to be a
part of that team. But everybody is different, So what
motivates one person is not going to motivate the next person,
and that those are really the key skills of leadership
is knowing your people what's going to motivate them. That pressure.
Pressure can be great, you know, high pressure creates diamonds,
(15:51):
and then there's some people that just don't do as
well under that pressure and kind of tend to wilt
or break down. Everybody is different, so you have to
know how to address those with each of your team members,
what motivates them and what brings them down. But it
all comes down to trust. If your team trusts you
and they know that you care, they're gonna they're going
(16:13):
to find a way to get to the objectives that
you set. You know, I set pretty lofty goals with
my team at Andrews Air Force Base, and you know,
there's been members of that have not been able to
meet some of those standards, and you know, they're no
longer part of that organization anymore. But you know, they
they knew then they trusted me, and they knew that
I cared about them. So you know, those are difficult
(16:35):
decisions you have to make as a leader, but if
they trust you, you'll get the results.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, now that's very profound. So going back to what
you shed just now that it's a very high pressure
job and for some that high pressure can create that
adrenaline stream which gives them the high and they are
all for it. So as an individual, so we've talked
more perspective of business leader, what about from an individual perspective,
(17:04):
how can they recognize, you know, what are they cut
out for and what pathways they can create for themselves.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
So and then you mentioned a little bit ago with
just you know some some of the younger generation as well.
Giving them ownership in your organization is as quickly as possible.
You know, they there's a little bit of of a
different mindset and you know, being raised on iPhones and
iPads and being constantly entertained and some some resiliency issues.
(17:37):
So the faster you can get people to buy in
to your organization and know that they have ownership, you know,
being part of that team, not just not just not
just a part, not just showing up and punching the clock,
but realizing that what they do every day matters and
having that ownership, you'll you'll get them to you'll get
much better results and they'll be much more successful.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
M H. You're absolutely right on the mark about that.
And so what you're sharing with me is that the
leader needs to build that trust. And when you're building
that trust and creating that space, you're allowing not only
in your squadron, but in the business team squadron or
(18:24):
whatever you want to call it, like in a pot
or wherever it is. You're allowing them to step up
and become the leaders because they will be the next
generation leading the next incoming force. And as I was
reading just very recently, since I work on intergenerational communication
and I'm always talking about that and doing workshops, that
(18:46):
a new generation has already begun gen Z gen Z
is booted out and then starting from twenty twenty five,
So it's important that we continue to build these.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
People and business leaders. You know, whether you realize it
or not. You know this, this generational difference, it is
your problem. And the sooner you get involved now, the
better the results are going to be down the road,
because every single one of these individuals in however many years,
(19:18):
is coming to look for a job at your business,
you know, and realizing just the differences and the just
the different makeup and expectations of that generation, you still
need them to be successful. So what worked for you
fifty years ago or twenty years ago, or even ten
years ago is not going to necessarily work that That
(19:39):
complacency kills business, It stifles ideas. So you're going to
have to find a way to be able to relate
to this generation and make sure that they're successful. It's
it is a much different world that that new generation
does not learn the same way or respond the same
way as I do, you know as a guy born
(20:01):
in the seventies. So it's but that's that's that's what
a good leader will be able to do. You adapt
and overcome.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Absolutely. Adaptability that is such a keyword. And what you
mentioned was that newer generations, I mean, every generation learns differently.
Now that said, when we talk about the newer generation,
So I have a lot of my clients as I
do the executive leadership coaching. You know, so many of
(20:28):
them tell me that I want to work for a
company that is impacting the society or something that's doing
meaningful that when I'm coming at the end of the
day that I know that I've just not done my
work for a paycheck, but I am able to impact
others as well. And you always say that you know
(20:48):
you are serving out there in the community, and you
have done so much. So tell us a little bit
more about how the companies, you know, they don't have
to be completely pro but how can they get involved
and start serving in their community.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah, so that community engagement, I mean, not only does
it give you better visibility for your business. Let me
just look at it, it's marketing, right, So get out there,
Go go sponsor a little league team, or like coaching,
go go coach some sports soccer, t ball, baseball, basketball,
find some youth leagues or your YMCA, getting involved in
(21:27):
volunteering in your church or your school. There's so many
different ways for you to get involved that not only
are you helping build like the future of your business
because you're investing in these kids now so that they
can have some of these leadership skills and resiliency skills,
and you show that positive role model you know as
a business owner or community leader, they're going to get
(21:49):
to you eventually if you wait until they show up
on your underdoorstep with an application where everything is online now,
but to try to address those things eighteen years later,
like well your way by the eight ball, so and
then if you think about that is more of a
return on investment with just your people, and then it's
it's it's marketing for your business. Put your name on
(22:10):
the back of the shirt, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
That's the perfect way because I do recall, like you
know you mentioned that put your name on the back
of the shirt. Cisco used to send out so many
volunteers during the robotics competitions because when I was there
with my kids and all that, it was amazing and
they were not only getting to know the youngsters and
(22:34):
forming that relationship. So what a perfect way to do that.
Put your name out there on the T shirt, get
the word out there. So definitely a great way to do.
And I know you mentioned that you have started a
nonprofit organization. Can you share with us about that?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Yeah, thank you. So we've started a nonprofit organization, Weight
behind the Spear Foundation and really taking some of the
fundamentals of my book book, you know, be the Weight
behind the Spear, and you know, living right here in
North Carolina. At the end of September, we had just
horrific stores with Hurricane Helene and it just destroyed some
beautiful areas of western North Carolina. And so the first
(23:14):
thing we've done is worked on raising money and trying
to get that community engagement and promote some volunteerism, but
just raising funds for western North Carolina. And we've had
some some success with doing that, and you know, just
putting putting the money where the mouth is, right, I mean,
you write the book, and I want to make sure
that I'm showing that example and live in that. So
(23:34):
it's gone very well.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Absolutely. So you mentioned about your book, Weight behind the Spear,
So tell us what got you inspired to write that
book and give us a few glimpses from it.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
So the things that I saw in the emergency department,
you know, right after COVID and then as an emergency commander,
really they still have me worried. So as an emergency doctor,
you know, the anxiety, the depression, the suicide, and the
generation of Americans where there's a two or three year span.
(24:12):
We shut these kids out of their schools, we shut
them out of their churches. They literally were not interacting
with anyone else other than over iPads during very critical
years in their development. And you're seeing the results of
that in the mental health crisis that we have, and
it's much worse in that aged population. I mean, they
missed out of their high school graduation. There was a
(24:34):
class that literally missed out on some of their college graduations.
I mean, wow, they've just been cheated out of so
much in the mental toll on that or we're seeing
that And as a physician, that's what I deal with,
and as a military commander, I have that same cohort
of individuals that the same age group that I command,
and you see lack of resiliency. The mental health issues
(24:55):
are still very present. And I never wanted to just
sit there and whine and complain about something like what
can we do about it? So number one, you have
to recognize that there's a problem, and then the book
is my prescription on how I feel we need to
fix that problem. So be the weight behind the spear,
get more people engaged in their community. Just get people
(25:18):
involved and just realize that what they do every day matters,
and just celebrate the best resource that we have in
this country. That's people. You know, said it over and over. Teachers, coaches, volunteers, mentors, family,
that's so important. That's the best thing we have in
this country. So let's celebrate it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
People definitely, I mean people make it or break it,
regardless of any organization there is. And you did say
that there is a very prevalent issue bit of mental
well being that's going on in this gen z. So
there are a lot of business leaders out there and
sometimes you know they're scratching their heads on how to
(25:59):
deal with it. So can you share with us a
few strategies and steps that they could use in dealing
and recognizing and dealing with it.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
I know as a business owner, so I owned a
business in Texas and just the individuals just not understanding
it could the repercussions of some of their decisions. So
just trying to coach them up as best you can.
You know, some of them will take take the teaching,
some won't. But I remember just one case of one
(26:30):
of our secretary staff, you know, young or nineteen years
old and just just very spontaneous. Something pops up and
she wants to go take off on this vacation across
the country and gives us less than two weeks notice
that Hey, I'm just going to take off. I'm going
to quit my job and go do this, and and
try to sit down and just teach im like, hey, listen,
(26:50):
you know, just trying to be a professional. Number one,
at least if you can give us two weeks notice, right,
because we still have to fill your position, and just
talk about the repercussions what happens when you just bail
on a job and a business like that, and the
other people that have to suffer. Other people have to
pick up your shifts now and maybe they had to
have childcare issues they have to deal with. And at
(27:11):
the end of the day she said, wow, I'm out.
Six months later she comes back, it's like, hey, you
can I have my job back? No, no, no, you can't.
You didn't give us two weeks notice. You know, you
weren't very professional like the other people that had to
pick up the slack when you left, which is zero
notice like that, you know it just it impacts other people.
(27:32):
So just trying to just teach and coach and to
think about other people, because when you've been raised in
a bubble for two or three years where it was
only about you and no interaction with other people, like literally,
your your own personal actions almost had zero impact on
anyone else on the planet because you were living in
a house on an iPad. But those things that you do,
(27:52):
they do impact other people. So trying to point out
that and just teach and get them to plug back
into society. There's just it's a challenge at times, but
very important.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Some very powerful story and messages over there. So what
I'm hearing is that if you're a business leader, it's
important to setting those expectations because so many times what
happens is that working remotely, and now a lot of
companies are mandating going back to work five days a week,
(28:27):
so that that will remain to be seen you know
how the younger generation and even the older generation respond
to that.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Yeah, you cannot build a team over over over over
Skype and Zoom and Microsoft teams, you can't. You have
to have some of that that that that physical and
personal interaction to build some chemistry because if you're if
your entire team is just built over looking at a screen,
(28:56):
you're just not going to get that that that buy
in in that team culture. It's very, very difficult to
create culture and make any changes in that in an
organization just over an iPad and a screen. You have
to have people in the office interacting, how is your day,
talk about their kids. I mean, we're all people, and
(29:16):
until you can kind of get them together and build
that culture, it's just not something you can do over
video screens. You just can't.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
No, you're absolutely right, because there's something to be said
when you're in a room with other people. That energy
is completely different. And yet there are still several companies
who are fully remote. So do you have any tips
for those people? Like, you know, how could they build
(29:46):
whatever culture they can over the zoom or scott.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
You have to have some like in person events or
just some some parties, you know, great Christmas party. I
mean at least probably once quarter having some type of
physical interaction. And you will notice the higher turnover rates
in businesses that operate mostly just over video screens and
(30:13):
remote workers. They will tend to jump from job to
job because they're going to chase if you can pay
more money. They don't. They don't have the loyalty, they
don't have that buy in to your organization and really
feel like as a real team as much when they're
not there in person. So the more you can get
them to interact with one another, having some events, workshops,
(30:37):
those types of things. You've got to find a way
to get people together. Gets this hard to build that team, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
No, absolutely, And it's important to have that one on
one connection. Whether it is like offsite or whether whatever,
it is really really important to get those people together
and build that camaraderie. And that also helps with the
mental hull. So in dealing with the mental health. So
(31:03):
many times people will turn their camera off during the
zoom meetings or the team meetings, and that connection is
it's almost like hunting behind the walls.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
So whatever exactly I mean, so you're just taking to
the next sleven, Not only are you not there with
any physical interaction, you just push a button, click your screen,
you know, just I'll just shut off. Nobody has to
see me cry, Nobody has to know that I'm you know,
concerned or upset or anxious. I mean, do you just
you live in a small little bubble. It's it's not good. Mentally,
(31:37):
it's not good.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Absolutely. So if you were to pull together the wisdom
nuggets from your book, like you know, and two to
top two to three pieces of advice, what might that be?
Speaker 4 (31:53):
You know, first one is accountability and that on several
different I mean just with with your reaction with people,
with accountability for results in your own actions. But just
like physical accountability is critically important, you know. And then
when I talked about you know, kind of nobody likes rules, right,
but if you talk about standards, it's much different. So
(32:16):
Coach k legendary basketball coach at Duke University, you know,
when I was a professor there at Duke, he had
a great lecture where he came into our residency program
and the biggest takeaway I was in awe. It was
two hours. It was the most it is literally the
most incredible like leadership lecture anything I've ever heard. The
(32:38):
big takeaway just being you know, just that the team
organization culture, it's about standards. No nobody likes the rules,
but if you talk about standards and you know your
team trusts you, and like, hey listen, you know you're
not meeting our standard as this team. And when you
talk about it just as standards instead of instead of rules,
(33:00):
people really respond to that and they can understand that m.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Hmm, absolutely, and anything else you would like to share.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Yeah, And empowering them to make decisions. So when you
talk about get ways to get them to buy in
and be part of that team and just have that
ownership over your organization. Empower them so they don't micromanage them,
you know, giving them opportunities to grow in leadership and
make decisions. Use a leader, your jobs to put them
(33:32):
in positions where they can be successful. Right, You don't
just throw them in and hope they swim. But the
more that you can empower them to make decisions. Like,
nobody likes like a micromanager as a boss. So as
as a leader, I don't know everything. I'm not a genius,
but I recognize incredibly good talent and I surround myself
(33:53):
with good people. So I empower my people to make
great decisions and I don't get in their chili. If
I'm having to get in there chili micromanage. I made
a bad decision as a leader. I have to own
that and I got to find somebody else to put
in that position. But that's my responsibility as a leader
and I own that, so, you know, don't micromanage, empower
them to make decisions that I'm learning.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yeah, that's that's really powerful because so many times what
happens is that business leaders are not focused on that.
They're like, oh, they're looking at that their people are
not doing the work. But it's that accountability, holding yourself accountable.
It is such a powerful thing to do. So share
(34:35):
with our listeners as to how can they connect with
you and where can they find you for your book?
And also like, you know, how can we share with
them the nonprofit organization that you have shed So that
would be great.
Speaker 4 (34:52):
Yeah, So website is weight behind the Spear dot com.
So w E I G H T weight by behind
the Spear dot com and the foundation. If you go
to wait behind the Spear dot com or with Slash Foundation,
that'll take you right to the foundation and then I
can be followed on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Josh McConkie MD
(35:14):
on Instagram and Twitter, it's Maconki or x It's Maconki
double seven fantastic.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Are there any of their last thoughts that you would
like to share with her audience.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Yeah, what you do every day matters. Take pride in that,
even if it's the smallest thing. If you don't want
to volunteer or coach, or you know you're not into
volunteering in schools with kids, go volunteer at your animal shelter,
right even you know, you talk about every decision that
you make matters. So if you even go into an
(35:46):
animal shelter and you're helping these animals, these animals now
become support animals, you know, support pets for other individuals
that help them out with their anxieties and their issues.
So what you do every day matters. Just realize that
and take pride in that. And you know your community
needs you.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
I really like that. Your community needs you so important.
So thank you doctor Josh for joining us and sharing
your heartfelt mission and advice and the wisdom nuggets that
you have accrued over your life journey.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Thank you, it's been a pleasure, honored.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Absolutely, Thank you listeners for joining us because you know
without you, the show would not be possible. And definitely,
as you have heard doctor Josh today, you know, definitely
visit his website, check it out and see how you
could support our western North Carolina people have gone through
(36:53):
something and as they predicted, like you know that hurricane
cause floods that for after a thousand years so lives
were destroyed and just just impact biblical, biblical level destruction.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
So you know we need you.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
So whatever support you can, we would appreciate your support
and let us know how we can support you who
can be braying in How can we serve you to
live the best life you can? And thank you on
for making the show technically possible. Be valu and take
care until next time.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host Divva Park, we hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Diva Park shares what happened to her
when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work
(37:51):
directly with people across the globe. She not only coaches
people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships
to mutually beneficial partners as they strive to live the
life they want. If you are ready to live the
life you want and leverage your strengths. Learn more at
www dot dwpark dot com and you can connect with
vats contact ads dvpark dot com. We look forward to
(38:15):
you joining us next week
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