September 9, 2025 • 36 mins
In this bold and timely episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh exposes what most leaders overlook: impostor syndrome isn’t just a personal struggle—it’s a silent business drain.
From missed promotions to underpriced services and lost innovation, the ripple effect is massive.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
From missed promotions to underpriced services and lost innovation, the ripple effect is massive.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio.
It's employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be
(00:20):
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W
four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
are living the life they want. You will learn how
(00:48):
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com
and you can connect with diva Ant contact dant divapark
dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host,
(01:09):
div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Good morning listeners, it is Tuesday morning and I get
to be with you. So for past several weeks, I
was having a working vacation and the beautiful thing about
that was the house was right on the ocean and
(01:35):
one of my cousins had invited to her place she
had rented for summer. So just being there, being part
of nature, it helps you connect with yourself and realize
that where does life begin, where does life go? Is
(02:00):
life take us? And it gets you to be a
little bit more introspective. And today we're going to be
talking about some tough things and think about the cost
that no one puts on the balance sheet. That's what
we are going to be talking about today. And yes, everyone,
(02:24):
every one of us experiences it. And if you don't,
more power to you. But I do want to share
that that having coached thousands of people, having been in
different areas, like you know, from being an associate professor
or to being an entrepreneur to working in the corporate world,
(02:45):
we all go through it at some point in time
and now you might be curious, what is this cost?
What is this hidden text that I'm talking about that
none of us even put in our budget, We don't
put it on our balance sheets. It is impostors syndrome.
And I have been working on that for quite some time,
(03:08):
including myself, so just a few probably, like you know,
a few years back, I was thinking, hmm, what's on
my bucket list? Let's think about doing the tech talk.
So I've done keynote, speaking, I have done a lot
of speaking engagements, and yet there is something about the
tech talk where there needs to be brevity, where you
(03:32):
need to take people on a roller coaster, like you know,
you have to put your point across with clarity and brevity.
So I kept on thinking, hmmm, maybe that's not my
cup of da Maybe I'm not cut out for that.
Maybe maybe maybe maybe, And that was the hidden texts
(03:57):
I was paying And why do I say that? Because
it kept me from realizing my potential, like, okay, let
me go out and do that tech talk. I did
do that, but I had to cross that barrier, and
when I did, it was so liberating because I moved
(04:20):
beyond that stretch zone. I moved beyond that comfort zone.
I stretched a little bit, I experienced discomfort. But when
I was on the other side, I didn't care how
many people liked it, how many people applauded it. What
mattered to me was that I did it. And that's
(04:43):
the question to ask yourself. I'm going to ask you.
I'm going to invite you to ask yourself, where are
those hidden texas that you're pink And you keep on
paying all those h in texas. And when you keep
on paying all those hidden texas, what happens is that
(05:06):
you keep on increasing the cost. And when I say
it's increasing the cost, what it means is what is
it costing you to not come face to face with it.
Let me share with you another story. A client of mine,
we'll call her Sarah, incredible leadership coach. Her clients just
(05:31):
loved her, and she had testimonials a mile long. Yeah,
And every time she would mention her price, she would say,
like when she sensed hesitation on a potential client's face
or some objection in the voice, and she would just
kind of go and say, oh, you know what, but
(05:54):
if that's too much, we can adjust. And guess what happened.
Every client took the discount. Who doesn't like discounts. I
like discounts. And why was she losing out? Not because
she was not talented, not because she was not creating transformations.
(06:18):
She was losing out because she was doubting her own
worth in the moment, just as I had doubted myself
my capacity, and then I could do it. And when
we calculated with all the discounts that she had given
to her clients, you want to take a guess, Take
(06:40):
a number how much money she left on the table?
Not ten thousand, not twenty, not thirty forty thousand dollars
on the table just one year. So that's the imposture text.
And it doesn't show up in your budget, it doesn't
(07:00):
show up in quick books, it doesn't show up in
different areas. But guess where it shows up. It shows
up in lost revenue, lost authority, lost moment. And I
could keep on going with stories after stories after stories.
So I'm going to invite you to kind of think about.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Where are you using.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
That you're not paying attention to that imposter syndrome. Check
it out throughout the day. Is it that goal that
you keep on putting off because guess what ninety two
percent people fail to keep the New York's resolution. And
why do I call it New York because you know
(07:51):
the ball drops everybody knows and.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Thirty feet December, right, we're all just up. You're ready,
like you know, we're welcoming new Year and we are
ready to go. You've got my long resolutions and only
ninety two percent people fail, only ninety two percent, yes,
but there are that eight percent that stay the course,
(08:18):
that stretch themselves. I would say that most people fail
almost one hundred percent. People fail sometimes in their lives
and it's okay, but failing because things did not work
out is different than failing because of imposter syndrome. So
(08:41):
think about how much is it costing you? So that's
one stat.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I gave you another stat KPMG, Like you know, they
do a lot of research, and what have they shared.
That's seventy five percent, Yes, seventy five percent of executives
admit to experiencing imposter syndrome at some point in their career.
And what happens. It may be a mispromotion. It maybe
(09:14):
you're not speaking up when you could have taken that initiative,
missed opportunities and when you have missed opportunities. It can
have long term ramifications because remember, a decision not taken
is a choice. A decision taken is a choice. An
(09:36):
action not taken as a choice, an action taken is
a choice. So what happens is that we are thinking, oh,
this is fearful, I'm not going to take that step,
and I'm staying comfortable, yes, in my cocoon. But I
(09:59):
want to tell you you that unless that butterfly really
breaks that pecoon, that helps it strengthen its wings because
if it did not push through it, if it did
not feel that discomfort, its wings wouldn't strengthen and it
(10:19):
wouldn't fly and it would drop dead. So yes, we
feel that is comfort. Yes, we have this impostor syndrome.
What would you like to call it, Let's call it
a gremlin. Gremlin impostor. It shows up and it holds
you back. So going to share another stat with you,
(10:43):
another Deloitte study. So Deloit is a consulting farm and
then they do a lot of research and a lot
of surveys and all that. So they have done a
thorough study and linked imposter syndrome with underpricing, missed opportunities
and stall promotions. These are just a few things. So
(11:07):
all right, imposter syndrome is there. So now you've taken
a moment, you've taken a stock of your life, and
you have seen where am I holding myself back? What
am I not doing? What opportunities am I missing out?
Is it because I have evaluated everything? Is it because
(11:27):
I've made informed decision? Or is it because I am
contracting and not expanding? Are you shrinking from success? So
the key is you've got to ask yourself are you
(11:49):
keeping silent? Are you hesitating? Are you overworking? Where are
all of these It's costing billions when we total it up,
and it's in thousands of dollars probably to you and
billions to the companies. So I'm going to go back
(12:10):
to one of my other clients, Jason. He worked for
a tech company, mid level manager. You know, he had
been there for at least four or five years, and
he had been doing good. He was getting kudos, and
(12:32):
yet there was something that he was not getting promoted.
He went through two cycles of promotion, but one of
his peers got promoted, and his boss kept on telling him,
you got to prove, you got to show some innovation.
You got to look around, because that's where when we
were sitting in the calibration room, and when we were
(12:54):
in the calibration meeting, we were looking let's call him Jason, Jason,
we were looking at your performance review, and let's call
the other person John. When we were looking at John.
The difference between the two of you was then John
had done something innovative. John had done something to improve
(13:14):
the processes that he was working on, and that helped
a lot of other people, and it helped cut down
on the cost. Of course, it just put him in
another category. So Jason comes to the coaching we explore
(13:37):
and he says, you know, I don't think so Devia.
I'm able to see things. I just don't have it
in me. Here's what I want to tell you. Just
like Jason had it within him, you have it too. Yes,
you do, because I sincerely believe every person, yes, every
(14:03):
person on this planet has unlimited potential. You have the
answers within you. You have that potential. It's about looking
within and finding that impostor gremlin and facing it through.
So he comes and we work through it, and I'm
(14:26):
going to share with you some tips how to work
through it. So let's just fast forward his story. One day,
he comes to me and says that as we have
been working through this, I've been looking at the process
that I'm working on and how could we cut costs
and speed up the delivery timelines. And there was this
(14:52):
innovation meeting. Even after him being prepped and all that,
he just froze and couldn't speak. He said like, oh,
I'm not just senior enough to say this. He stayed quiet. Yeah,
(15:17):
And then they had another consultant because they needed to
improve the processes. The consultant came and pitched almost exactly
the same idea. Guess what at hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Of course he wouldn't have got that, but he would
(15:39):
have got a very hefty chunkin pay, raise and title
which would have amounted to be calculated almost two hundred
thousand dollars with price stocks and all that. And then
he came back and said, that could have been me.
So what happened here? Innovation died in that silence. And
(16:02):
then they got to it. We said, and I'll come
back to Jason's story, and also I will come back
to Sarah's story. It's not done yet. But I want
to show you what can happen when you give into
that gremlin, impostor so. And let's look at it. Why
(16:28):
does this gremlin have so much power? Right? It's like
these people know they're capable, they're ambitious, they're already outperforming.
Why does it strike more and more and harder and harder.
(16:50):
Here's the thing. The higher you rise, the more you're scrutinized,
and the more visible you become, louder that grammar and
whispers you don't really belong here, Jason Sarah, you don't
belong here? What if they find out? And here's what
(17:12):
I'll share with you that neuroscience has shown that what
happens is like there is fear, there is stress. Our
lizard brain amygdalah boom boom boom boom boom. What it
does it do? It fires off on arms, Yes, alarms, alarms,
alarms that oh gosh, it's pressure. So when it's pressure,
(17:38):
you're going to make mistakes. And even if you have
made few mistakes in your life, see, there is that
proof and proof that you're not worth it. There is
that proof you're not capable. So what happens is that
when there are high stakes moments, even high powered executives,
even experienced at leaves, even people who have done it,
(18:06):
they get struck by it. So remember, as Aristotle said,
courage is the first virtue because it makes everything else possible.
So you could say, like, all right, the monster gremlin
(18:28):
impostor showed up. I'm going to let my knowledge sit idle,
I'm going to hide my talent. I'm going to shrink mythority.
So that's not going to work. And why is that?
Who are people missing out on this? Because they're going
with the wrong solutions. And here's what I'll show it
(18:51):
to you. They're waiting like, oh, and I'm confident, I'll
speak up, I'll log in more hours, I'll collect more certifications.
And I'm not saying those certifications cannot bring that to you.
They can, but they gotta be the right certification. Or
somebody may be thinking, oh, when they get even more accolades,
(19:11):
or when this happens. When this happens, which is external,
my feeling of feeling the fraud that I'm not the
right person or I don't belong here will go away.
Then it will vanish. It doesn't. That's the bad news.
But it's important to talk it through. It's important for
(19:32):
us to have this hard conversation. So what happens? All right,
I'm waiting up, So now they armor up, they hight
the doubts and project a fake confidence. But guess what happens.
There's that disconnect because you're not connecting with the people.
(19:52):
And yes, you can fake it till you make it.
It's one of the ways to do it. But it's
not coming from inside out. Because people are not connecting
with you. There is not that element of trust. And
sometimes because of the gremlin impostor a lot of entrepreneurs,
like Sarah or Jason, they either miss out on opportunities
(20:16):
or say yes to everything. And when you're saying yes
to everything, guess what bonout is waiting in the wings,
and you try to over deliver and start making mistakes
because you're so exhausted and burnt out in trying to
(20:39):
prove that you belong there. None of this works. You
cannot add more work, you cannot keep on saying yes,
you cannot not strategize. So how can you go about
dealing with this gramlin impostor. It's about reclaiming your authority
in the moment. Yes, yes, And as we talked about.
(21:05):
So the key is the first step is recognizing the trigger. Right, Okay,
when am I when this gremlin is showing up? So
when it shows up, do not confuse that's who you are.
(21:29):
It's just tim brain firing off and alarm. H says like, okay,
let's come back to Sarah. Then was she triggered. I'm
going to take Sarah's story and walk you through when
people when she presented the value, let's say a potential client,
(21:54):
you know, Sarah said that for working with me for
six months, here's what I'm going to be working with you.
Here are the areas here how we will help you
achieve your goal. And even though she had testimonials a
mile long, and she would say like, oh, this is
(22:15):
how this was done with this client, this is how
this was done with this client. Then they would say, really,
I think so you are charging a whole lot more
than the other coaches. So then what's popping in her
mind is that, oh, am I charging too much? I'm
(22:38):
not supposed to charge. So here's the thing. This dollar
store with a dollar store like you can get now,
maybe things are not a dollar some like you know,
dollar twenty nine or five dollars or something like that.
Then there is Target. It is the quality, it's the value,
and then if you go to nor Storm it's the
(23:00):
is even higher. And are there customers for each store? Yes,
customers are there. So it's about knowing your worth and
not what other people say, attaching your identity to it,
not attaching the character. So the key is the context.
Remember to focus on the context, not on the character.
(23:22):
And when I talk about the character, is that that thought?
When you identify with those thoughts, then you are like, oh,
that's me versus. The same thing with Sarah is like, Okay,
who do I want to be? So that's the first step.
We started out with him, did she wanted to be
(23:43):
dollar store, Target or Norstrom? She decided she wanted to
be Norstrong. So then the next step what we did was, okay,
I've decided, now why are some of the things in
nor Storm more expensive? Because maybe they have the designers
(24:04):
that are not present in Target. And why are those
designers more valuable than in the Target Because they may
be exclusive and it will not be valuable to everyone.
And it's okay. So that's the key. So we sat
down and we walked on who was her ideal client.
All right, my ideal clients are executives in C suite.
(24:26):
Executive That's what Sarah said. So any of those executives
who are working in C suite do make good money,
and if they are sitting there and bargaining with Sarah,
then those are not her clients. So then what we
did was the next step was to check that trigger. Hmm,
(24:52):
all right, the gremlin has shown up. Let's pull out
a fact. Challenge that fear. So that's the next step
that you go ahead and you work through it and
you challenge that gremlin. Okay, you're saying that, like you know,
Sarah said that, Like, the thought that comes to me
(25:13):
is that I'm charging a whole lot more. So then
we sat down and evaluated what was the value she
was providing. The value she was providing was a whole
lot more. Not only was she giving the courses, not
only was she giving the coaching, not only was she
(25:34):
giving them the support between sessions. So she was giving
a whole lot more than the other coaches when she
sat down and compared. So the factor it was okay
for her to charge more, and if that meant letting
go of the clients that's all right sometimes and now
(25:56):
you may ask me a question over here, Diviyah. Now
that is going to be costing money, but think about it.
Would you rather have a client where you can make
difference in their lives and who recognizes your value Because
(26:17):
when people recognize their value they're getting, they're going to
put in that much time, They're going to be more invested,
they are going to be working on their transformation. So
I asked Sarah, what's important to you, and she said,
the client's transformation is the most important to me. So
(26:37):
I said, okay, here are two different things. What do
you want to do? And she said, I'll let the
client go who is sitting and bargaining, because then they
will be bargaining in themselves like oh, you know, I'm
stuck here, so they may not take that stretch action.
And it's important to have the stretch goals and stretch action.
(27:01):
So she started that. And remember that the gremlin impostor
will ramble. Yes, it trembles. It gives oh a lot,
lot a lot, like you know, oh, this is happening,
This is happening, This is happening in your thoughts. And
as a result of what happens is you stop articulating clearly,
(27:23):
so when the gremlin pops in, separate it out, acknowledge it,
thank you you have shared it with me, and then
think about the main point you want to make in
a meeting. So that's just one example. So going back
to Sarah's story, so when somebody would just kind of
ramble on like saying, oh, this was not worth it,
(27:47):
and Sarah would just say, one thing, I understand and
I may not be the brew of coffee that you
may like, and it's okay. So here's how I provide
the value and here's what it is. So she did
(28:07):
not go and too over explanation mode, she did not
become overwhelmed, just stated a few things. She was very clear,
and as a result of what happened, people who couldn't
see the value walked away. People who could see the
value did it. And that next year when she implemented
(28:33):
are authority reset tool, and if you would like to
have that authority reset tool, reach out to me either
on LinkedIn or with the email contact at vipark dot
com and I will send it to you. So the
key was that even though she let it go, she
(28:55):
ended up making sixty thousand dollars more. And that is
that you're not apologizing for who you are. You're not
being I'm not asking you to be bligerent or I'm
not asking you to be arrogant. You're still humble. All
(29:17):
you're doing is you're sharing the value. And when you
share and don't sell, it's okay. Same thing in the
sales call. Make your point, and you make that little transformation,
little change, one step at a time. Start out with small.
(29:37):
I want to come back to Jason's story. So Jason's
boss said that, like, you know, because you didn't speak up,
we'll have to delay your promotion for the next cycle,
which was in six months down the road. And then
what I told Jason was like, listen, nobody can take
(29:59):
away your potential, the knowledge you have, the experience you have.
People may take away the titles. People may take away
your money, but that knowledge and experience, that doesn't go anywhere.
So when you invest in your shelf, there's nothing more
powerful than that because you carry that with you wherever
you go. Stocks may go out, stocks may go down, yes,
(30:20):
money may stay in the bank, money may go out.
So he invested more time in himself and he took
that stretch action. He took that stretch goal and when
he did that, he found another area because guess what,
he had the idea. So once he recognized his potential,
(30:42):
he found another process where he could improve which the
consultants had not, and we work through things and then
he was able to come up with a strong plan.
So then he talked with his boss and said that,
you know, I'd like to the top stakeholders and there
(31:04):
was no meeting. He's taking the initiative. And when he
did that, his boss said, sure, I'm all behind you
because this is the moment I've been waiting. So that
way I can go and tell my bosses like, look, Jason,
is that diamond that we have? So Jason copied his
(31:27):
boss invited the stakeholders and when he so, he and
I sat down and we worked on the narrative because
it's important to work on the narrative on that storytelling.
He presented that you know, he would like to have
the meeting. They gave him his time, and guess what,
he not only got the promotion, he got a double promotion.
(31:51):
They actually created a title a job for him because
he was so good with ideation and innovation and he
got to build his own team. So it's about taking
that next bull step, and you start out with small.
It doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be
(32:11):
a big, big step. But the bull step is that
tiny step that you take. And why does it matter
now more than ever? Here's what I'll tell you. It
matters now more than ever because we're entering in the
last quarter of the year. Pressure is high. You may
be thinking, oh, you know, I want to finish this
(32:32):
year strong. Targets are tight. Whether you're a coach, entrepreneur, professional,
visibility matters more. And when there is that, remember that
imposture syndrome will strike. And this is where it's important
for you to think about how many opportunities will you
(32:53):
miss if you continue to give in to that kremlin,
how much revenue will sleep, how many opportunities you will lose,
how much of that revenue will be gone from your
final destination if you keep discounting. And besides all of this,
(33:21):
how much energy will you burn if you keep proving
instead of leading. So, if you're ready reach out to me,
happy to share that, and also if you want to
just give me a call and set up a time
(33:42):
and be more than happy to support you in your
journey because guess what, don't just keep on nodding. I
challenge you to practice reset this week. So connect with
me and thank you for being part of my family.
You're awesome and I believe in you. You have that potential.
(34:06):
Don't let that potential go to waste. Unleash it. Even
through the times when the gremlin impost strikes, you can
do it. You can move through it. And reach out
to me and contact at divapark dot com for the
authority reset tool, happy to share it in details. And
(34:32):
believe in yourself. I believe in you. I sincerely believe
you could be the person that you want to be.
You could achieve that success that you desire, one tiny
step at a time, one tiny bold move at a time.
And I want to raise a toast to you because
(34:59):
you are here, you're listening. Kudos to you, and take
that next tiny bullstep. Reach out to me, let me
know what was that, and I'll share it with the
rest of her audience. So thank you, Thank you for
being part of this journey with me, and thank you
(35:19):
for investing that time in your shelf. So go invest
that time in your shelf and take that tiny ball move.
Thank you one for making the show possible. Take care
and I'll see you.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host,
DIVV Park, we hope you have learned more about how
to start living the life you want. Each week on
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced
growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During
Beyond Confidence, Va Park shares what happened to her when
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly
(35:54):
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people
how to form hard connections, but so transform relationships to
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to live the life
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www
dotwpark dot com and you can connect with vat contact
(36:15):
at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you joining
us next week.
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of W four WN Radio. It's employees are affiliates.
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio.
It's employees are affiliates. Any questions or common should be
(00:20):
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W
four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
are living the life they want. You will learn how
(00:48):
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com
and you can connect with diva Ant contact dant divapark
dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's your host,
(01:09):
div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Good morning listeners, it is Tuesday morning and I get
to be with you. So for past several weeks, I
was having a working vacation and the beautiful thing about
that was the house was right on the ocean and
(01:35):
one of my cousins had invited to her place she
had rented for summer. So just being there, being part
of nature, it helps you connect with yourself and realize
that where does life begin, where does life go? Is
(02:00):
life take us? And it gets you to be a
little bit more introspective. And today we're going to be
talking about some tough things and think about the cost
that no one puts on the balance sheet. That's what
we are going to be talking about today. And yes, everyone,
(02:24):
every one of us experiences it. And if you don't,
more power to you. But I do want to share
that that having coached thousands of people, having been in
different areas, like you know, from being an associate professor
or to being an entrepreneur to working in the corporate world,
(02:45):
we all go through it at some point in time
and now you might be curious, what is this cost?
What is this hidden text that I'm talking about that
none of us even put in our budget, We don't
put it on our balance sheets. It is impostors syndrome.
And I have been working on that for quite some time,
(03:08):
including myself, so just a few probably, like you know,
a few years back, I was thinking, hmm, what's on
my bucket list? Let's think about doing the tech talk.
So I've done keynote, speaking, I have done a lot
of speaking engagements, and yet there is something about the
tech talk where there needs to be brevity, where you
(03:32):
need to take people on a roller coaster, like you know,
you have to put your point across with clarity and brevity.
So I kept on thinking, hmmm, maybe that's not my
cup of da Maybe I'm not cut out for that.
Maybe maybe maybe maybe, And that was the hidden texts
(03:57):
I was paying And why do I say that? Because
it kept me from realizing my potential, like, okay, let
me go out and do that tech talk. I did
do that, but I had to cross that barrier, and
when I did, it was so liberating because I moved
(04:20):
beyond that stretch zone. I moved beyond that comfort zone.
I stretched a little bit, I experienced discomfort. But when
I was on the other side, I didn't care how
many people liked it, how many people applauded it. What
mattered to me was that I did it. And that's
(04:43):
the question to ask yourself. I'm going to ask you.
I'm going to invite you to ask yourself, where are
those hidden texas that you're pink And you keep on
paying all those h in texas. And when you keep
on paying all those hidden texas, what happens is that
(05:06):
you keep on increasing the cost. And when I say
it's increasing the cost, what it means is what is
it costing you to not come face to face with it.
Let me share with you another story. A client of mine,
we'll call her Sarah, incredible leadership coach. Her clients just
(05:31):
loved her, and she had testimonials a mile long. Yeah,
And every time she would mention her price, she would say,
like when she sensed hesitation on a potential client's face
or some objection in the voice, and she would just
kind of go and say, oh, you know what, but
(05:54):
if that's too much, we can adjust. And guess what happened.
Every client took the discount. Who doesn't like discounts. I
like discounts. And why was she losing out? Not because
she was not talented, not because she was not creating transformations.
(06:18):
She was losing out because she was doubting her own
worth in the moment, just as I had doubted myself
my capacity, and then I could do it. And when
we calculated with all the discounts that she had given
to her clients, you want to take a guess, Take
(06:40):
a number how much money she left on the table?
Not ten thousand, not twenty, not thirty forty thousand dollars
on the table just one year. So that's the imposture text.
And it doesn't show up in your budget, it doesn't
(07:00):
show up in quick books, it doesn't show up in
different areas. But guess where it shows up. It shows
up in lost revenue, lost authority, lost moment. And I
could keep on going with stories after stories after stories.
So I'm going to invite you to kind of think about.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Where are you using.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
That you're not paying attention to that imposter syndrome. Check
it out throughout the day. Is it that goal that
you keep on putting off because guess what ninety two
percent people fail to keep the New York's resolution. And
why do I call it New York because you know
(07:51):
the ball drops everybody knows and.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Thirty feet December, right, we're all just up. You're ready,
like you know, we're welcoming new Year and we are
ready to go. You've got my long resolutions and only
ninety two percent people fail, only ninety two percent, yes,
but there are that eight percent that stay the course,
(08:18):
that stretch themselves. I would say that most people fail
almost one hundred percent. People fail sometimes in their lives
and it's okay, but failing because things did not work
out is different than failing because of imposter syndrome. So
(08:41):
think about how much is it costing you? So that's
one stat.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I gave you another stat KPMG, Like you know, they
do a lot of research, and what have they shared.
That's seventy five percent, Yes, seventy five percent of executives
admit to experiencing imposter syndrome at some point in their career.
And what happens. It may be a mispromotion. It maybe
(09:14):
you're not speaking up when you could have taken that initiative,
missed opportunities and when you have missed opportunities. It can
have long term ramifications because remember, a decision not taken
is a choice. A decision taken is a choice. An
(09:36):
action not taken as a choice, an action taken is
a choice. So what happens is that we are thinking, oh,
this is fearful, I'm not going to take that step,
and I'm staying comfortable, yes, in my cocoon. But I
(09:59):
want to tell you you that unless that butterfly really
breaks that pecoon, that helps it strengthen its wings because
if it did not push through it, if it did
not feel that discomfort, its wings wouldn't strengthen and it
(10:19):
wouldn't fly and it would drop dead. So yes, we
feel that is comfort. Yes, we have this impostor syndrome.
What would you like to call it, Let's call it
a gremlin. Gremlin impostor. It shows up and it holds
you back. So going to share another stat with you,
(10:43):
another Deloitte study. So Deloit is a consulting farm and
then they do a lot of research and a lot
of surveys and all that. So they have done a
thorough study and linked imposter syndrome with underpricing, missed opportunities
and stall promotions. These are just a few things. So
(11:07):
all right, imposter syndrome is there. So now you've taken
a moment, you've taken a stock of your life, and
you have seen where am I holding myself back? What
am I not doing? What opportunities am I missing out?
Is it because I have evaluated everything? Is it because
(11:27):
I've made informed decision? Or is it because I am
contracting and not expanding? Are you shrinking from success? So
the key is you've got to ask yourself are you
(11:49):
keeping silent? Are you hesitating? Are you overworking? Where are
all of these It's costing billions when we total it up,
and it's in thousands of dollars probably to you and
billions to the companies. So I'm going to go back
(12:10):
to one of my other clients, Jason. He worked for
a tech company, mid level manager. You know, he had
been there for at least four or five years, and
he had been doing good. He was getting kudos, and
(12:32):
yet there was something that he was not getting promoted.
He went through two cycles of promotion, but one of
his peers got promoted, and his boss kept on telling him,
you got to prove, you got to show some innovation.
You got to look around, because that's where when we
were sitting in the calibration room, and when we were
(12:54):
in the calibration meeting, we were looking let's call him Jason, Jason,
we were looking at your performance review, and let's call
the other person John. When we were looking at John.
The difference between the two of you was then John
had done something innovative. John had done something to improve
(13:14):
the processes that he was working on, and that helped
a lot of other people, and it helped cut down
on the cost. Of course, it just put him in
another category. So Jason comes to the coaching we explore
(13:37):
and he says, you know, I don't think so Devia.
I'm able to see things. I just don't have it
in me. Here's what I want to tell you. Just
like Jason had it within him, you have it too. Yes,
you do, because I sincerely believe every person, yes, every
(14:03):
person on this planet has unlimited potential. You have the
answers within you. You have that potential. It's about looking
within and finding that impostor gremlin and facing it through.
So he comes and we work through it, and I'm
(14:26):
going to share with you some tips how to work
through it. So let's just fast forward his story. One day,
he comes to me and says that as we have
been working through this, I've been looking at the process
that I'm working on and how could we cut costs
and speed up the delivery timelines. And there was this
(14:52):
innovation meeting. Even after him being prepped and all that,
he just froze and couldn't speak. He said like, oh,
I'm not just senior enough to say this. He stayed quiet. Yeah,
(15:17):
And then they had another consultant because they needed to
improve the processes. The consultant came and pitched almost exactly
the same idea. Guess what at hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Of course he wouldn't have got that, but he would
(15:39):
have got a very hefty chunkin pay, raise and title
which would have amounted to be calculated almost two hundred
thousand dollars with price stocks and all that. And then
he came back and said, that could have been me.
So what happened here? Innovation died in that silence. And
(16:02):
then they got to it. We said, and I'll come
back to Jason's story, and also I will come back
to Sarah's story. It's not done yet. But I want
to show you what can happen when you give into
that gremlin, impostor so. And let's look at it. Why
(16:28):
does this gremlin have so much power? Right? It's like
these people know they're capable, they're ambitious, they're already outperforming.
Why does it strike more and more and harder and harder.
(16:50):
Here's the thing. The higher you rise, the more you're scrutinized,
and the more visible you become, louder that grammar and
whispers you don't really belong here, Jason Sarah, you don't
belong here? What if they find out? And here's what
(17:12):
I'll share with you that neuroscience has shown that what
happens is like there is fear, there is stress. Our
lizard brain amygdalah boom boom boom boom boom. What it
does it do? It fires off on arms, Yes, alarms, alarms,
alarms that oh gosh, it's pressure. So when it's pressure,
(17:38):
you're going to make mistakes. And even if you have
made few mistakes in your life, see, there is that
proof and proof that you're not worth it. There is
that proof you're not capable. So what happens is that
when there are high stakes moments, even high powered executives,
even experienced at leaves, even people who have done it,
(18:06):
they get struck by it. So remember, as Aristotle said,
courage is the first virtue because it makes everything else possible.
So you could say, like, all right, the monster gremlin
(18:28):
impostor showed up. I'm going to let my knowledge sit idle,
I'm going to hide my talent. I'm going to shrink mythority.
So that's not going to work. And why is that?
Who are people missing out on this? Because they're going
with the wrong solutions. And here's what I'll show it
(18:51):
to you. They're waiting like, oh, and I'm confident, I'll
speak up, I'll log in more hours, I'll collect more certifications.
And I'm not saying those certifications cannot bring that to you.
They can, but they gotta be the right certification. Or
somebody may be thinking, oh, when they get even more accolades,
(19:11):
or when this happens. When this happens, which is external,
my feeling of feeling the fraud that I'm not the
right person or I don't belong here will go away.
Then it will vanish. It doesn't. That's the bad news.
But it's important to talk it through. It's important for
(19:32):
us to have this hard conversation. So what happens? All right,
I'm waiting up, So now they armor up, they hight
the doubts and project a fake confidence. But guess what happens.
There's that disconnect because you're not connecting with the people.
(19:52):
And yes, you can fake it till you make it.
It's one of the ways to do it. But it's
not coming from inside out. Because people are not connecting
with you. There is not that element of trust. And
sometimes because of the gremlin impostor a lot of entrepreneurs,
like Sarah or Jason, they either miss out on opportunities
(20:16):
or say yes to everything. And when you're saying yes
to everything, guess what bonout is waiting in the wings,
and you try to over deliver and start making mistakes
because you're so exhausted and burnt out in trying to
(20:39):
prove that you belong there. None of this works. You
cannot add more work, you cannot keep on saying yes,
you cannot not strategize. So how can you go about
dealing with this gramlin impostor. It's about reclaiming your authority
in the moment. Yes, yes, And as we talked about.
(21:05):
So the key is the first step is recognizing the trigger. Right, Okay,
when am I when this gremlin is showing up? So
when it shows up, do not confuse that's who you are.
(21:29):
It's just tim brain firing off and alarm. H says like, okay,
let's come back to Sarah. Then was she triggered. I'm
going to take Sarah's story and walk you through when
people when she presented the value, let's say a potential client,
(21:54):
you know, Sarah said that for working with me for
six months, here's what I'm going to be working with you.
Here are the areas here how we will help you
achieve your goal. And even though she had testimonials a
mile long, and she would say like, oh, this is
(22:15):
how this was done with this client, this is how
this was done with this client. Then they would say, really,
I think so you are charging a whole lot more
than the other coaches. So then what's popping in her
mind is that, oh, am I charging too much? I'm
(22:38):
not supposed to charge. So here's the thing. This dollar
store with a dollar store like you can get now,
maybe things are not a dollar some like you know,
dollar twenty nine or five dollars or something like that.
Then there is Target. It is the quality, it's the value,
and then if you go to nor Storm it's the
(23:00):
is even higher. And are there customers for each store? Yes,
customers are there. So it's about knowing your worth and
not what other people say, attaching your identity to it,
not attaching the character. So the key is the context.
Remember to focus on the context, not on the character.
(23:22):
And when I talk about the character, is that that thought?
When you identify with those thoughts, then you are like, oh,
that's me versus. The same thing with Sarah is like, Okay,
who do I want to be? So that's the first step.
We started out with him, did she wanted to be
(23:43):
dollar store, Target or Norstrom? She decided she wanted to
be Norstrong. So then the next step what we did was, okay,
I've decided, now why are some of the things in
nor Storm more expensive? Because maybe they have the designers
(24:04):
that are not present in Target. And why are those
designers more valuable than in the Target Because they may
be exclusive and it will not be valuable to everyone.
And it's okay. So that's the key. So we sat
down and we walked on who was her ideal client.
All right, my ideal clients are executives in C suite.
(24:26):
Executive That's what Sarah said. So any of those executives
who are working in C suite do make good money,
and if they are sitting there and bargaining with Sarah,
then those are not her clients. So then what we
did was the next step was to check that trigger. Hmm,
(24:52):
all right, the gremlin has shown up. Let's pull out
a fact. Challenge that fear. So that's the next step
that you go ahead and you work through it and
you challenge that gremlin. Okay, you're saying that, like you know,
Sarah said that, Like, the thought that comes to me
(25:13):
is that I'm charging a whole lot more. So then
we sat down and evaluated what was the value she
was providing. The value she was providing was a whole
lot more. Not only was she giving the courses, not
only was she giving the coaching, not only was she
(25:34):
giving them the support between sessions. So she was giving
a whole lot more than the other coaches when she
sat down and compared. So the factor it was okay
for her to charge more, and if that meant letting
go of the clients that's all right sometimes and now
(25:56):
you may ask me a question over here, Diviyah. Now
that is going to be costing money, but think about it.
Would you rather have a client where you can make
difference in their lives and who recognizes your value Because
(26:17):
when people recognize their value they're getting, they're going to
put in that much time, They're going to be more invested,
they are going to be working on their transformation. So
I asked Sarah, what's important to you, and she said,
the client's transformation is the most important to me. So
(26:37):
I said, okay, here are two different things. What do
you want to do? And she said, I'll let the
client go who is sitting and bargaining, because then they
will be bargaining in themselves like oh, you know, I'm
stuck here, so they may not take that stretch action.
And it's important to have the stretch goals and stretch action.
(27:01):
So she started that. And remember that the gremlin impostor
will ramble. Yes, it trembles. It gives oh a lot,
lot a lot, like you know, oh, this is happening,
This is happening, This is happening in your thoughts. And
as a result of what happens is you stop articulating clearly,
(27:23):
so when the gremlin pops in, separate it out, acknowledge it,
thank you you have shared it with me, and then
think about the main point you want to make in
a meeting. So that's just one example. So going back
to Sarah's story, so when somebody would just kind of
ramble on like saying, oh, this was not worth it,
(27:47):
and Sarah would just say, one thing, I understand and
I may not be the brew of coffee that you
may like, and it's okay. So here's how I provide
the value and here's what it is. So she did
(28:07):
not go and too over explanation mode, she did not
become overwhelmed, just stated a few things. She was very clear,
and as a result of what happened, people who couldn't
see the value walked away. People who could see the
value did it. And that next year when she implemented
(28:33):
are authority reset tool, and if you would like to
have that authority reset tool, reach out to me either
on LinkedIn or with the email contact at vipark dot
com and I will send it to you. So the
key was that even though she let it go, she
(28:55):
ended up making sixty thousand dollars more. And that is
that you're not apologizing for who you are. You're not
being I'm not asking you to be bligerent or I'm
not asking you to be arrogant. You're still humble. All
(29:17):
you're doing is you're sharing the value. And when you
share and don't sell, it's okay. Same thing in the
sales call. Make your point, and you make that little transformation,
little change, one step at a time. Start out with small.
(29:37):
I want to come back to Jason's story. So Jason's
boss said that, like, you know, because you didn't speak up,
we'll have to delay your promotion for the next cycle,
which was in six months down the road. And then
what I told Jason was like, listen, nobody can take
(29:59):
away your potential, the knowledge you have, the experience you have.
People may take away the titles. People may take away
your money, but that knowledge and experience, that doesn't go anywhere.
So when you invest in your shelf, there's nothing more
powerful than that because you carry that with you wherever
you go. Stocks may go out, stocks may go down, yes,
(30:20):
money may stay in the bank, money may go out.
So he invested more time in himself and he took
that stretch action. He took that stretch goal and when
he did that, he found another area because guess what,
he had the idea. So once he recognized his potential,
(30:42):
he found another process where he could improve which the
consultants had not, and we work through things and then
he was able to come up with a strong plan.
So then he talked with his boss and said that,
you know, I'd like to the top stakeholders and there
(31:04):
was no meeting. He's taking the initiative. And when he
did that, his boss said, sure, I'm all behind you
because this is the moment I've been waiting. So that
way I can go and tell my bosses like, look, Jason,
is that diamond that we have? So Jason copied his
(31:27):
boss invited the stakeholders and when he so, he and
I sat down and we worked on the narrative because
it's important to work on the narrative on that storytelling.
He presented that you know, he would like to have
the meeting. They gave him his time, and guess what,
he not only got the promotion, he got a double promotion.
(31:51):
They actually created a title a job for him because
he was so good with ideation and innovation and he
got to build his own team. So it's about taking
that next bull step, and you start out with small.
It doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be
(32:11):
a big, big step. But the bull step is that
tiny step that you take. And why does it matter
now more than ever? Here's what I'll tell you. It
matters now more than ever because we're entering in the
last quarter of the year. Pressure is high. You may
be thinking, oh, you know, I want to finish this
(32:32):
year strong. Targets are tight. Whether you're a coach, entrepreneur, professional,
visibility matters more. And when there is that, remember that
imposture syndrome will strike. And this is where it's important
for you to think about how many opportunities will you
(32:53):
miss if you continue to give in to that kremlin,
how much revenue will sleep, how many opportunities you will lose,
how much of that revenue will be gone from your
final destination if you keep discounting. And besides all of this,
(33:21):
how much energy will you burn if you keep proving
instead of leading. So, if you're ready reach out to me,
happy to share that, and also if you want to
just give me a call and set up a time
(33:42):
and be more than happy to support you in your
journey because guess what, don't just keep on nodding. I
challenge you to practice reset this week. So connect with
me and thank you for being part of my family.
You're awesome and I believe in you. You have that potential.
(34:06):
Don't let that potential go to waste. Unleash it. Even
through the times when the gremlin impost strikes, you can
do it. You can move through it. And reach out
to me and contact at divapark dot com for the
authority reset tool, happy to share it in details. And
(34:32):
believe in yourself. I believe in you. I sincerely believe
you could be the person that you want to be.
You could achieve that success that you desire, one tiny
step at a time, one tiny bold move at a time.
And I want to raise a toast to you because
(34:59):
you are here, you're listening. Kudos to you, and take
that next tiny bullstep. Reach out to me, let me
know what was that, and I'll share it with the
rest of her audience. So thank you, Thank you for
being part of this journey with me, and thank you
(35:19):
for investing that time in your shelf. So go invest
that time in your shelf and take that tiny ball move.
Thank you one for making the show possible. Take care
and I'll see you.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your host,
DIVV Park, we hope you have learned more about how
to start living the life you want. Each week on
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced
growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During
Beyond Confidence, Va Park shares what happened to her when
she stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly
(35:54):
with people across the globe. She not only coaches people
how to form hard connections, but so transform relationships to
mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life
they want. If you are ready to live the life
you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at www
dotwpark dot com and you can connect with vat contact
(36:15):
at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you joining
us next week.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.