July 15, 2025 • 30 mins
Join Divya Parekh for an illuminating conversation with Dr. Cristina Leira, a global expert in neuroscience, symbolic psychology, cultural intelligence, and AI. From training Navy SEALs to exploring the transformative power of symbolism, Cristina has spent her life decoding how the brain rewires for resilience, purpose, and reinvention.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not
those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN
Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should
be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
(00:22):
W four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvaparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stemps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
(00:45):
are living the life they want. You will learn how
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at WWWA. You don't divpork dot
com and you can connect with div ants contact dants
divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's
(01:08):
your host div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Good morning listeners, Happy Tuesday. So wonderful to be here
with you.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
And I was in Washington, DC just recently, and what
was interesting was that in the hustle hustle of the city.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It's a beautiful.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
City, I saw an old lady just kind of waiting.
I was in the car and so an old lady waiting,
like you know, she couldn't cross like really fast. And
what was surprising was that all the drivers just stopped
and they just you know, it was just beautiful. She
(01:52):
was hesitant to cross, and even though the sign walk
was not on, they let her cross and just so.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Like we know, one driver all I needed was one driver. Yeh.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Backed up a little bit, but she was able to
cross the street. And that was a beautiful sign to watch.
So thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for getting
our books. For those who have not, please do get
our books because they will change your lives, whether it
is The Entrepreneur's Gotten Expert, to Influencer, your Mastery, or
(02:24):
any of our books. And also I'm excited to share
that I will be releasing a book this year. I'm
writing a book on artificial intelligence and if you are
interested in learning how we do the whole book launch,
please email me to contact at debapardict dot com and
(02:45):
happy to make.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
You part of it.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Lesson write our guest doctor Christina Leary. Welcome. Hi, How
like you good? How are you so? Tell us? Are awesome?
Good to have you? So?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Do you recall a moment or a person in your
life who left the pastor mark on you.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Yes, I'm living with her now. My mom.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
How did she impact you?
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Well? She was born with a disability, walking disability, and
that never stopped her. She never complained, only now because
she's not that independent as she used to be, But
she never complained. She always rose to the occasion. Interestingly enough,
(03:37):
my father was a food doctor and that's the way
they met. She could not be operated on, and he
fell in love with her male formed feet, and that's
the way they married. And they were together until my
father passed in two thousand and nine. And so now
I am in Argentina because she had a heart failure
(04:04):
just a few weeks ago and I had to fly
overnight from the United States to be here and take
care of her. And even now she doesn't complain. Even
now she is full of strength. So yeah, I'm living
the legacy of resilience, the legacy of acceptance, but not
(04:25):
but not giving up.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
That is such a powerful thing and for her to
and that's so beautiful that she doesn't let the external
circumstances deter her from the person she is and becoming
that person exactly right.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
So you have.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Been working, you know, helping people with neuroplasticity. So how
did you get into the neuroscience?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Have you ever watched a movie Forrest Gump?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Yeah, that's pretty much my life. I never planned anything,
It just fell on my lap. I just follow through.
So I started my life as a linguist in fact
here and I've seen as a translator and interpreter and teacher.
And I taught at all levels elementary, high school, university level.
(05:18):
Then life took me to the US where I did
my masters in applay linguistics. And I sitting next to
this lady when I was doing the masters, she said, oh,
would you like to teach this bunch of people? They
need to learn Spanish. I'm like, here, I just came
to do my masters and go back home. Said, oh,
you will love it. It's with Navy seals, and I
this is nineteen ninety six, so I was like, what
(05:41):
are seals like? Seals? I'm like, stop it. So I
didn't even know what they were, and so I said,
well whatever. Twenty five years later everybody was gone, but
I was the one staying. And so I started from
the very low, you know, teaching part time, then in
full time, and then academic coordinator, and then I ended
(06:03):
up on the government level as the product manager, leading
Navy Seals to learn the language and cultural awareness of
the countries where they were going to lead their missions.
And the beauty of that was that I had a
chance to see the before and nature, the before going
to their missions wars, the aftermath when they came back,
(06:29):
and I found that we were we are our department
with people from all over the world, refugees, foreign nationals,
immigrants like me. We were all like their happy place
to go because when they came with us, we sat together,
we ate the meals of the different countries. They learned
(06:50):
the language before going, but after coming back they still
wanted to hang out with us. So I started getting
intrigued about how you know, going to war and then
went back how do you adapt to that? But again
I was still a linguist.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
That's what I did.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
But in twenty twenty one the program, after twenty five years,
the program was defunded, and I didn't want to look
for another position that was a GS. I could have
definitely looked for another GS position, but I felt like
it was my time to go. But in the meantime,
(07:26):
I had started to feel a lot of intrigue about
neuroscience and the science of the brain. Now we're talking
of twenty seventeen eighteen. Believe it or not, it was
not a big deal neuroscience. Not many many people talked
about that. In fact, when I told my mom that
I wanted to go and do my PhD on on
(07:48):
this topic, my mom looks like, you got to be
kidding me to something tangible? What is that? So I'm
like great, But I still did it. So that was
the beginning, and I went back to school. When the
problem was defunded, I found myself unplugged. My identity was gone.
I was invisible, so I had to reinvent myself and
then I had to apply everything that I had learned
(08:10):
about cognition, about how the brain works, about neuroplasticity to myself.
So that is how it all started. I never planned
on it. I just felt wrong and I just followed
my my intuisue.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Yeah, so it sounds like, you know, you followed what
we're showing up for you.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
So a lot of people.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Who follow the they're like, you know, you go to
good schools, get a job, and you know, all the
societal expectations, and they may have a definitive path and
people are not very much open to.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Like okay, because as.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
They're kind of growing through their lives, you know, there
are responsibilities. But then sometimes what happens is that are
in their midlife and then they start feeling that age
like you know, leet did my life go?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
What is happening? So what could they do during those times?
Speaker 5 (09:14):
So midlife happens to all of us, and that is
a very fortunate thing because the other option is that
we are not on earth, and so the good news
is we all get old. That is a fantastic news.
Doesn't mean that we are useless, doesn't mean that we
lose purpose. It means that we have to grow with
(09:41):
the age. Where we are, we have to accompany the
evolution of our body, of our soul, of our spirit.
So in midlife, many times people are urged by society
(10:01):
to stay where they were when they were twenties or thirties,
and it's like running against the wind. You know, it's
going to be quite a painful path to do that.
So when that happens, and it happens in different ways
(10:24):
to people, right, we don't all age at the same pace,
and it's fine, it's supposed to be like that. But
when it happens and it touches us, we need to
just start slowly saying, hey, wait a second, I used
to do this maraphon. Now I cannot do it. So
instead of saying, if only start saying, at least I
(10:48):
can do a short term maraphon. And when you cannot
do that, Matophon and said, at least I can jog.
And when you cannot jog, well, at least I can walk.
And like my mom when she can a walk, and
she said, at least I can get out of bed.
There is always an at least. And I think that
midlife is about that, which is different from letting like,
(11:13):
it's different from giving up it's about letting go. Let's
just let go of the whold of what is old
and believe it or not, sometimes the younger part of
us is old. We need to let go of that
and then embrace the next level. And that is really
(11:36):
when the magic starts to happen, and that is the
invitation for those in midlife now. It's very easy to
say like that in abstract terms. We all go through
it differently, but in the end it's the same. It's
like everything, right. We are all humans. We are different,
but we are the same. So this is the same.
(11:57):
The experience of midlife is different, but it's the same. Now.
When you have a mid life crisis that comes with
a divorce, or with a bad diagnosis, or with losing
your job, now things start getting even or the advent
of AI at your job, then things start getting more
(12:18):
and more complicated, and that is the time when you
have to take a good introspection at your own. At
some point, we all have to do that. Either it's
in the morning or in the evening. At some point
we have to stop and say, wait a second, what
(12:39):
am I heading to Because it's happening. The divorce happened,
or the diagnose happened or the laid off happened. And
at some point, if we don't want to go downhill,
we need to stop. We need to just stop and say, hey,
this happened. So now I have to dream invent myself,
(13:01):
which is a word that is very very used and
soon to become a cliche, but it's really a beautiful
word green bed right, but soon to be. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
So you talk about symbolism, tell us a bit more
about that.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Well, symbolism is something that goes very much to the
heart of my life. In fact, my thesis was based
on the study of symbolism how we use religious symbols
to cope in terms of adversity, not because of the
religiosity of the symbols, but because symbols go bypass our
(13:49):
analytical mind, so it speaks directly to our deeper level
of our identity. So symbols is metaphors, archetypes, affirmations, and
if like, and and again. The symbols are in the
(14:09):
five or six senses. Right, you have the when you
have some incense, a symbolistic of you know, elevating your brain,
your mind, your thoughts to the high above. When you
play music, sacred music or any type of music that
elevates your spirit. It's another type of bypassing the analytical
(14:36):
mind and going to that part of the subconscious that
tells you all is well, you're fine. That is what
symbols are about. It's a way to tell you all
is well. You cannot understand that, but always well, So
why is it that when we are going through something
really difficult, we don't want to sometimes talk with anybody,
(14:57):
but it's just play the music, or you just go
for a walk, or you just said, I mean I
love threes. I just sit with the back on.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
My So definitely symbolism, I think.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
So it's the rituals and thinking about you know, as
doctor Christina will join us back, is that think about
even when we look at the holidays, we look forward.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
To it because.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
It could be for example, Christmas is symbolic of love,
peace and joy and season of giving and similarly, like
you know, it could be the Wali, which is symbolic
of light of festivities, which is spreading the light through darkness.
(15:52):
So having those symbolisms, having that symbolism in your life
can be very very powerful. Now when you're thinking about
all right, how can I bring symbolism in my life.
I invite you to think about not bringing it in,
but recognizing what you already have in your life that
(16:13):
you can use. And so I'm going to share a
few of the transformations that you can bring in your
life with symbolism. So, for example, I will share with
you that for me, nature is symbolic of rejuvenation, of
(16:37):
the beauty and eternal nature, of the permanency.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And yet of the change.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
So just for example, just want to share, Like, you know,
today it was so beautiful. There was this I'm sure
you've seen it a thousand times, but it's about taking
that pause and looking at it. As we are going
through the summer, what's happening is that the squirrels and birds,
(17:07):
everybody's getting ready to prepare for the winter. So I
see this beautiful squirrel, you know, holding that black walnut
and her mouth and just kind of going and acorns
and like hiding it somewhere.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
So finding that symbolism in your life can be very powerful.
So yeah, please continue.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
It's beautiful what you said. Because symbols are simple. We
don't have to go to Tokyo to the most beautiful
shrine place to feel like we are one with the symbolism.
You can live in a little apartment and you can
(17:48):
find symbolism in like you know, holding us I'm doing now.
You know a little cup that my grandmother used to
drink from that is symbolistic of as well. My grandmother
made it, my mother is making it. So symbol is
the message is everywhere and is so simple, and that
(18:10):
is the thing. Sometimes we over complicate where is the
symbol here? And we think about and then we become well,
symbols are not supposed to be, which is we cannot
go through the beauty of symbols when we analyze it,
when we go through our analogical brain to say, okay,
(18:30):
let's seek no, just shut up, be still, like the
Bible says, right, be still and the waters come. That
is what symbols are about. Be still, contemplate. Sometimes it's
you know, it's funny, I aren't in the US. I
wake up with classical music, and I go to sleep
with classical music. Well, I turn it off at night.
(18:54):
Was my husband would stangle me. But that is what
I need throughout the day. But here in Argentina, my mom,
my mom doesn't like to have anything in the background,
so I'm like, okay, because I need my music, but
I'm in Christina. Be still. Really the message here is
the symbol of silence. Be still, be silent, and I
(19:16):
am gaining another beauty of silence. So that is symbol.
It's where you are, what you have next to you.
That is the power of symbols.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
So let's say as people are going through the tough
times you mentioned about a few instances, and there can
be thousand instances which can immediately push a human being
from a place of calm to a place of chaos,
and all of them, what rituals or what symbolisms or
(19:52):
what symbols can they find to help reframes so that
they're able to transform themselves from that place of confusion
to clarity.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
So as a beautiful question or comment, I would say
it depends on the person. Like if someone is not
very much connected to their spiritual life, so if you
tell them go, you know, and do contemplation in whatever
(20:25):
demnomation of faith you have, they will look at you like, now,
thank you. That doesn't work for me, and they go
back to their darkness. So I would say for something
to be more comprehensive for everybody, the first thing when
you're going through a big unplug of comfort, right you
lost your job or back diagnose, or a divorce, that
(20:50):
happens all of a sudden, someone files for the worce. Okay,
So I would say the first thing is silence, because
that is what I did when I lost my job
of twenty five years, and eight days later my husband
lost his corporate job of twenty six years. So twenty
five and twenty six in eight days. You cannot make
(21:13):
this up. You cannot make this up. It's twenty twenty one.
We survived COVID, and we were both saying, wow, we
kept our jobs twenty twenty one, both of us in
eight days. Now. My husband also had gone through some health,
very serious health issues. So all of a sudden, you know,
health insurance, and me like, oh my god, and now
(21:35):
what because in this time and era, working for the
same place for twenty five years is no longer an
asset liability. It's like you don't have much diversity anyway.
So going back to your question, what do we do? Honestly,
I didn't go back to church or temple or whatever
(21:55):
faith you have. No, I didn't do that. I felt
like angry at the beginning. So I's silence. So that
is the first thing I would say, go to silence.
Allow yourself to turn off the volume from outside. I
didn't talk to friends, I didn't talk to anybody. I
just went to my cave. I needed to hear my voice.
So that is step one. Go to silence. Turn off
(22:17):
the volume of the outside because everybody will say, oh
my god, what are you going to do? And he
also locks his top and now what are you going
to lose your house? And come about the car and
this that it's insurance. So turn the off, turn off
the radio, turn off everything. Allow yourself to step two,
which is cry shout to whatever you have to do.
(22:39):
Allow your emotions to emerge because if you don't do that,
then your genes will show up in like some cancer
regional cell. No things will start going wrong if you
don't allow the emotions to express So without going to
hit someone or doing something stupid, it revers consequences like
(23:01):
drink and drive and then you get a dui, which
is even worse, or go into drugs and then you
cannot get out of that, which is even worse. So
stop digging. Just cry, just you know, punch your bed,
do what you have to do. I did all of that,
by the way, do all that. So that's number two.
But then once you went through that, and don't give
it too much time, because we love the victim, things
(23:26):
like oh poor me. So if you let it go
through a lot of a long time, it festers and
it becomes ingranted. You Let's keep being crying. Let's keep
being the poor me that lost the job and my
husband too, Let's keep being there. No, at some point
you have to say enough, And that is what I
did with myself enough. So I let myself probably like
(23:48):
that like two three weeks because I need It's twenty
five years, it's a long time, and then twenty six
years with him, it's a long time. So I needed
to process that. So two three weeks of that silence
and crying and ah angry. Then after that I'm like, okay,
so now I need to do an inventory of what
I still have. It can still walk, I still have?
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, and now definitely, So picking up where doctor Christina
left it is it also depends you know what works
for you. So these are what these are the steps
that work for her, and then you can pick and
choose what works for you. So when she's talking about
not staying in the area of the victimhood, because that
(24:38):
can be a slippery slope.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
It's important to.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Acknowledge your emotions. It's important to validate them, and it's
also important to walk to them, because if you don't
process those emotions and if you don't walk through it,
it's very easy because the brain loves to fester.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
In the comfort zone.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
So right, yes, So.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
So the key is that moving beyond it. So go ahead.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
So yeah, So after you have the silence and then
the punch in, not the walls, because then you still
have to you know, call someone to fix the walls.
Don't do anything that will make it worse. So punch
your bed. Put something that will not have long lasting
or worse consequences. So select where your anger will be
(25:35):
directed to. And then after that start doing an inventory
and an inventory of what you still have. You still
have legs, you still can walk, you still can breathe
and go to a slow because I do have a
dear friend of mine who had a huge accident and
lost both legs. Right, speaking of resilience, but at some
(25:59):
point when he started to recover, he said, but I
still can breathe, but I still can smile, but I
still can move my arm. So go to the at
least exercise, at least exercise at least I can. So
it sounds like very small steps. I tell you, when
you're going through the worst of the worst times, we
(26:21):
can only take tiny steps. And it's fine, that's correct.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Tiny steps, you know, as they say, and I'm sure
you've heard this quote a thousand times that the journey
of a mile begins with a single step.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So taking those tiny steps really helps.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
And then the key is that sometimes you may feel
that you need support, so it's okay to seek out
the support and you'll be surprised that. So, for example,
for business owners, there is a small business associations, there
are if you're looking for a job, there are networks
out there. So for example, like you know, in one
(27:07):
of my local communities, there is a triangle tech network.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
So as you're.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Moving through this journey, it's important to know where you
can find that support as well while you are taking
those single steps, because that social support.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Can mean a lot. Any other thoughts on that As
you were walking us through the steps.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
I could not can you repeat the question? Please?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Sure? Sure?
Speaker 4 (27:45):
The question is that you talked about taking the small steps,
any other additional steps you'd like to.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Add to it, So sounds like we may be having
a connection problem. So what.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
You are going to do is like as we talk about, yes,
we can hear you, and we are just going to
go ahead and kind of like bring it to a closure.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
So here's the thing. Remember that finding the resources.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
In your neighborhood is very important and also there are
so many and if you are looking for resources, to
reach out to me or reach out to doctor Christina
like you know you can. Her email is info at
doctor Christina Leira dot com. And we thank you so
much for joining us because I'll tell you, like you know,
(28:52):
without you, the show would not be possible. And the
few things I'll share with you is that that there.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Are sources out there.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
There are books that you can get, there are networks
that you can connect with, there are meetup groups that
you can find, and also we're here for you. You can
reach out to me anytime, happy to support you. So
thank you for joining us, and thank you doctor Christina,
(29:21):
and thank you one for making the show technically possible.
Take care and be well.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence with your host,
dv Park, we hope you have learned more about how
to start living the life you want. Each week on
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced
growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During
Beyond Confidence, Vapark shares what happened to her when she
stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly with
(29:48):
people across the globe. She not only coaches people how
to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually
beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life they want.
If you are ready to live the life you want
and leverage your strengths, learn more at www dot wpark
dot com and you can connect with wants contact at
(30:09):
dwpark dot com. We look forward to you're joining us
next week.
The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests, and not
those of W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates.
We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W four WN
Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should
be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
(00:22):
W four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvaparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stemps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
(00:45):
are living the life they want. You will learn how
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at WWWA. You don't divpork dot
com and you can connect with div ants contact dants
divpark dot com. This is beyond confidence and now here's
(01:08):
your host div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Good morning listeners, Happy Tuesday. So wonderful to be here
with you.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
And I was in Washington, DC just recently, and what
was interesting was that in the hustle hustle of the city.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It's a beautiful.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
City, I saw an old lady just kind of waiting.
I was in the car and so an old lady waiting,
like you know, she couldn't cross like really fast. And
what was surprising was that all the drivers just stopped
and they just you know, it was just beautiful. She
(01:52):
was hesitant to cross, and even though the sign walk
was not on, they let her cross and just so.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Like we know, one driver all I needed was one driver. Yeh.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Backed up a little bit, but she was able to
cross the street. And that was a beautiful sign to watch.
So thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for getting
our books. For those who have not, please do get
our books because they will change your lives, whether it
is The Entrepreneur's Gotten Expert, to Influencer, your Mastery, or
(02:24):
any of our books. And also I'm excited to share
that I will be releasing a book this year. I'm
writing a book on artificial intelligence and if you are
interested in learning how we do the whole book launch,
please email me to contact at debapardict dot com and
(02:45):
happy to make.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
You part of it.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Lesson write our guest doctor Christina Leary. Welcome. Hi, How
like you good? How are you so? Tell us? Are awesome?
Good to have you? So?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Do you recall a moment or a person in your
life who left the pastor mark on you.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Yes, I'm living with her now. My mom.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
How did she impact you?
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Well? She was born with a disability, walking disability, and
that never stopped her. She never complained, only now because
she's not that independent as she used to be, But
she never complained. She always rose to the occasion. Interestingly enough,
(03:37):
my father was a food doctor and that's the way
they met. She could not be operated on, and he
fell in love with her male formed feet, and that's
the way they married. And they were together until my
father passed in two thousand and nine. And so now
I am in Argentina because she had a heart failure
(04:04):
just a few weeks ago and I had to fly
overnight from the United States to be here and take
care of her. And even now she doesn't complain. Even
now she is full of strength. So yeah, I'm living
the legacy of resilience, the legacy of acceptance, but not
(04:25):
but not giving up.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
That is such a powerful thing and for her to
and that's so beautiful that she doesn't let the external
circumstances deter her from the person she is and becoming
that person exactly right.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
So you have.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Been working, you know, helping people with neuroplasticity. So how
did you get into the neuroscience?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Have you ever watched a movie Forrest Gump?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Yeah, that's pretty much my life. I never planned anything,
It just fell on my lap. I just follow through.
So I started my life as a linguist in fact
here and I've seen as a translator and interpreter and teacher.
And I taught at all levels elementary, high school, university level.
(05:18):
Then life took me to the US where I did
my masters in applay linguistics. And I sitting next to
this lady when I was doing the masters, she said, oh,
would you like to teach this bunch of people? They
need to learn Spanish. I'm like, here, I just came
to do my masters and go back home. Said, oh,
you will love it. It's with Navy seals, and I
this is nineteen ninety six, so I was like, what
(05:41):
are seals like? Seals? I'm like, stop it. So I
didn't even know what they were, and so I said,
well whatever. Twenty five years later everybody was gone, but
I was the one staying. And so I started from
the very low, you know, teaching part time, then in
full time, and then academic coordinator, and then I ended
(06:03):
up on the government level as the product manager, leading
Navy Seals to learn the language and cultural awareness of
the countries where they were going to lead their missions.
And the beauty of that was that I had a
chance to see the before and nature, the before going
to their missions wars, the aftermath when they came back,
(06:29):
and I found that we were we are our department
with people from all over the world, refugees, foreign nationals,
immigrants like me. We were all like their happy place
to go because when they came with us, we sat together,
we ate the meals of the different countries. They learned
(06:50):
the language before going, but after coming back they still
wanted to hang out with us. So I started getting
intrigued about how you know, going to war and then
went back how do you adapt to that? But again
I was still a linguist.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
That's what I did.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
But in twenty twenty one the program, after twenty five years,
the program was defunded, and I didn't want to look
for another position that was a GS. I could have
definitely looked for another GS position, but I felt like
it was my time to go. But in the meantime,
(07:26):
I had started to feel a lot of intrigue about
neuroscience and the science of the brain. Now we're talking
of twenty seventeen eighteen. Believe it or not, it was
not a big deal neuroscience. Not many many people talked
about that. In fact, when I told my mom that
I wanted to go and do my PhD on on
(07:48):
this topic, my mom looks like, you got to be
kidding me to something tangible? What is that? So I'm
like great, But I still did it. So that was
the beginning, and I went back to school. When the
problem was defunded, I found myself unplugged. My identity was gone.
I was invisible, so I had to reinvent myself and
then I had to apply everything that I had learned
(08:10):
about cognition, about how the brain works, about neuroplasticity to myself.
So that is how it all started. I never planned
on it. I just felt wrong and I just followed
my my intuisue.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Yeah, so it sounds like, you know, you followed what
we're showing up for you.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
So a lot of people.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Who follow the they're like, you know, you go to
good schools, get a job, and you know, all the
societal expectations, and they may have a definitive path and
people are not very much open to.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Like okay, because as.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
They're kind of growing through their lives, you know, there
are responsibilities. But then sometimes what happens is that are
in their midlife and then they start feeling that age
like you know, leet did my life go?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
What is happening? So what could they do during those times?
Speaker 5 (09:14):
So midlife happens to all of us, and that is
a very fortunate thing because the other option is that
we are not on earth, and so the good news
is we all get old. That is a fantastic news.
Doesn't mean that we are useless, doesn't mean that we
lose purpose. It means that we have to grow with
(09:41):
the age. Where we are, we have to accompany the
evolution of our body, of our soul, of our spirit.
So in midlife, many times people are urged by society
(10:01):
to stay where they were when they were twenties or thirties,
and it's like running against the wind. You know, it's
going to be quite a painful path to do that.
So when that happens, and it happens in different ways
(10:24):
to people, right, we don't all age at the same pace,
and it's fine, it's supposed to be like that. But
when it happens and it touches us, we need to
just start slowly saying, hey, wait a second, I used
to do this maraphon. Now I cannot do it. So
instead of saying, if only start saying, at least I
(10:48):
can do a short term maraphon. And when you cannot
do that, Matophon and said, at least I can jog.
And when you cannot jog, well, at least I can walk.
And like my mom when she can a walk, and
she said, at least I can get out of bed.
There is always an at least. And I think that
midlife is about that, which is different from letting like,
(11:13):
it's different from giving up it's about letting go. Let's
just let go of the whold of what is old
and believe it or not, sometimes the younger part of
us is old. We need to let go of that
and then embrace the next level. And that is really
(11:36):
when the magic starts to happen, and that is the
invitation for those in midlife now. It's very easy to
say like that in abstract terms. We all go through
it differently, but in the end it's the same. It's
like everything, right. We are all humans. We are different,
but we are the same. So this is the same.
(11:57):
The experience of midlife is different, but it's the same. Now.
When you have a mid life crisis that comes with
a divorce, or with a bad diagnosis, or with losing
your job, now things start getting even or the advent
of AI at your job, then things start getting more
(12:18):
and more complicated, and that is the time when you
have to take a good introspection at your own. At
some point, we all have to do that. Either it's
in the morning or in the evening. At some point
we have to stop and say, wait a second, what
(12:39):
am I heading to Because it's happening. The divorce happened,
or the diagnose happened or the laid off happened. And
at some point, if we don't want to go downhill,
we need to stop. We need to just stop and say, hey,
this happened. So now I have to dream invent myself,
(13:01):
which is a word that is very very used and
soon to become a cliche, but it's really a beautiful
word green bed right, but soon to be. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
So you talk about symbolism, tell us a bit more
about that.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Well, symbolism is something that goes very much to the
heart of my life. In fact, my thesis was based
on the study of symbolism how we use religious symbols
to cope in terms of adversity, not because of the
religiosity of the symbols, but because symbols go bypass our
(13:49):
analytical mind, so it speaks directly to our deeper level
of our identity. So symbols is metaphors, archetypes, affirmations, and
if like, and and again. The symbols are in the
(14:09):
five or six senses. Right, you have the when you
have some incense, a symbolistic of you know, elevating your brain,
your mind, your thoughts to the high above. When you
play music, sacred music or any type of music that
elevates your spirit. It's another type of bypassing the analytical
(14:36):
mind and going to that part of the subconscious that
tells you all is well, you're fine. That is what
symbols are about. It's a way to tell you all
is well. You cannot understand that, but always well, So
why is it that when we are going through something
really difficult, we don't want to sometimes talk with anybody,
(14:57):
but it's just play the music, or you just go
for a walk, or you just said, I mean I
love threes. I just sit with the back on.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
My So definitely symbolism, I think.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
So it's the rituals and thinking about you know, as
doctor Christina will join us back, is that think about
even when we look at the holidays, we look forward.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
To it because.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
It could be for example, Christmas is symbolic of love,
peace and joy and season of giving and similarly, like
you know, it could be the Wali, which is symbolic
of light of festivities, which is spreading the light through darkness.
(15:52):
So having those symbolisms, having that symbolism in your life
can be very very powerful. Now when you're thinking about
all right, how can I bring symbolism in my life.
I invite you to think about not bringing it in,
but recognizing what you already have in your life that
(16:13):
you can use. And so I'm going to share a
few of the transformations that you can bring in your
life with symbolism. So, for example, I will share with
you that for me, nature is symbolic of rejuvenation, of
(16:37):
the beauty and eternal nature, of the permanency.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And yet of the change.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
So just for example, just want to share, Like, you know,
today it was so beautiful. There was this I'm sure
you've seen it a thousand times, but it's about taking
that pause and looking at it. As we are going
through the summer, what's happening is that the squirrels and birds,
(17:07):
everybody's getting ready to prepare for the winter. So I
see this beautiful squirrel, you know, holding that black walnut
and her mouth and just kind of going and acorns
and like hiding it somewhere.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
So finding that symbolism in your life can be very powerful.
So yeah, please continue.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
It's beautiful what you said. Because symbols are simple. We
don't have to go to Tokyo to the most beautiful
shrine place to feel like we are one with the symbolism.
You can live in a little apartment and you can
(17:48):
find symbolism in like you know, holding us I'm doing now.
You know a little cup that my grandmother used to
drink from that is symbolistic of as well. My grandmother
made it, my mother is making it. So symbol is
the message is everywhere and is so simple, and that
(18:10):
is the thing. Sometimes we over complicate where is the
symbol here? And we think about and then we become well,
symbols are not supposed to be, which is we cannot
go through the beauty of symbols when we analyze it,
when we go through our analogical brain to say, okay,
(18:30):
let's seek no, just shut up, be still, like the
Bible says, right, be still and the waters come. That
is what symbols are about. Be still, contemplate. Sometimes it's
you know, it's funny, I aren't in the US. I
wake up with classical music, and I go to sleep
with classical music. Well, I turn it off at night.
(18:54):
Was my husband would stangle me. But that is what
I need throughout the day. But here in Argentina, my mom,
my mom doesn't like to have anything in the background,
so I'm like, okay, because I need my music, but
I'm in Christina. Be still. Really the message here is
the symbol of silence. Be still, be silent, and I
(19:16):
am gaining another beauty of silence. So that is symbol.
It's where you are, what you have next to you.
That is the power of symbols.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
So let's say as people are going through the tough
times you mentioned about a few instances, and there can
be thousand instances which can immediately push a human being
from a place of calm to a place of chaos,
and all of them, what rituals or what symbolisms or
(19:52):
what symbols can they find to help reframes so that
they're able to transform themselves from that place of confusion
to clarity.
Speaker 5 (20:04):
So as a beautiful question or comment, I would say
it depends on the person. Like if someone is not
very much connected to their spiritual life, so if you
tell them go, you know, and do contemplation in whatever
(20:25):
demnomation of faith you have, they will look at you like, now,
thank you. That doesn't work for me, and they go
back to their darkness. So I would say for something
to be more comprehensive for everybody, the first thing when
you're going through a big unplug of comfort, right you
lost your job or back diagnose, or a divorce, that
(20:50):
happens all of a sudden, someone files for the worce. Okay,
So I would say the first thing is silence, because
that is what I did when I lost my job
of twenty five years, and eight days later my husband
lost his corporate job of twenty six years. So twenty
five and twenty six in eight days. You cannot make
(21:13):
this up. You cannot make this up. It's twenty twenty one.
We survived COVID, and we were both saying, wow, we
kept our jobs twenty twenty one, both of us in
eight days. Now. My husband also had gone through some health,
very serious health issues. So all of a sudden, you know,
health insurance, and me like, oh my god, and now
(21:35):
what because in this time and era, working for the
same place for twenty five years is no longer an
asset liability. It's like you don't have much diversity anyway.
So going back to your question, what do we do? Honestly,
I didn't go back to church or temple or whatever
(21:55):
faith you have. No, I didn't do that. I felt
like angry at the beginning. So I's silence. So that
is the first thing I would say, go to silence.
Allow yourself to turn off the volume from outside. I
didn't talk to friends, I didn't talk to anybody. I
just went to my cave. I needed to hear my voice.
So that is step one. Go to silence. Turn off
(22:17):
the volume of the outside because everybody will say, oh
my god, what are you going to do? And he
also locks his top and now what are you going
to lose your house? And come about the car and
this that it's insurance. So turn the off, turn off
the radio, turn off everything. Allow yourself to step two,
which is cry shout to whatever you have to do.
(22:39):
Allow your emotions to emerge because if you don't do that,
then your genes will show up in like some cancer
regional cell. No things will start going wrong if you
don't allow the emotions to express So without going to
hit someone or doing something stupid, it revers consequences like
(23:01):
drink and drive and then you get a dui, which
is even worse, or go into drugs and then you
cannot get out of that, which is even worse. So
stop digging. Just cry, just you know, punch your bed,
do what you have to do. I did all of that,
by the way, do all that. So that's number two.
But then once you went through that, and don't give
it too much time, because we love the victim, things
(23:26):
like oh poor me. So if you let it go
through a lot of a long time, it festers and
it becomes ingranted. You Let's keep being crying. Let's keep
being the poor me that lost the job and my
husband too, Let's keep being there. No, at some point
you have to say enough, And that is what I
did with myself enough. So I let myself probably like
(23:48):
that like two three weeks because I need It's twenty
five years, it's a long time, and then twenty six
years with him, it's a long time. So I needed
to process that. So two three weeks of that silence
and crying and ah angry. Then after that I'm like, okay,
so now I need to do an inventory of what
I still have. It can still walk, I still have?
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, and now definitely, So picking up where doctor Christina
left it is it also depends you know what works
for you. So these are what these are the steps
that work for her, and then you can pick and
choose what works for you. So when she's talking about
not staying in the area of the victimhood, because that
(24:38):
can be a slippery slope.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
It's important to.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Acknowledge your emotions. It's important to validate them, and it's
also important to walk to them, because if you don't
process those emotions and if you don't walk through it,
it's very easy because the brain loves to fester.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
In the comfort zone.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
So right, yes, So.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
So the key is that moving beyond it. So go ahead.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
So yeah, So after you have the silence and then
the punch in, not the walls, because then you still
have to you know, call someone to fix the walls.
Don't do anything that will make it worse. So punch
your bed. Put something that will not have long lasting
or worse consequences. So select where your anger will be
(25:35):
directed to. And then after that start doing an inventory
and an inventory of what you still have. You still
have legs, you still can walk, you still can breathe
and go to a slow because I do have a
dear friend of mine who had a huge accident and
lost both legs. Right, speaking of resilience, but at some
(25:59):
point when he started to recover, he said, but I
still can breathe, but I still can smile, but I
still can move my arm. So go to the at
least exercise, at least exercise at least I can. So
it sounds like very small steps. I tell you, when
you're going through the worst of the worst times, we
(26:21):
can only take tiny steps. And it's fine, that's correct.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Tiny steps, you know, as they say, and I'm sure
you've heard this quote a thousand times that the journey
of a mile begins with a single step.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So taking those tiny steps really helps.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
And then the key is that sometimes you may feel
that you need support, so it's okay to seek out
the support and you'll be surprised that. So, for example,
for business owners, there is a small business associations, there
are if you're looking for a job, there are networks
out there. So for example, like you know, in one
(27:07):
of my local communities, there is a triangle tech network.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
So as you're.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Moving through this journey, it's important to know where you
can find that support as well while you are taking
those single steps, because that social support.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Can mean a lot. Any other thoughts on that As
you were walking us through the steps.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
I could not can you repeat the question? Please?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Sure? Sure?
Speaker 4 (27:45):
The question is that you talked about taking the small steps,
any other additional steps you'd like to.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Add to it, So sounds like we may be having
a connection problem. So what.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
You are going to do is like as we talk about, yes,
we can hear you, and we are just going to
go ahead and kind of like bring it to a closure.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
So here's the thing. Remember that finding the resources.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
In your neighborhood is very important and also there are
so many and if you are looking for resources, to
reach out to me or reach out to doctor Christina
like you know you can. Her email is info at
doctor Christina Leira dot com. And we thank you so
much for joining us because I'll tell you, like you know,
(28:52):
without you, the show would not be possible. And the
few things I'll share with you is that that there.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Are sources out there.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
There are books that you can get, there are networks
that you can connect with, there are meetup groups that
you can find, and also we're here for you. You can
reach out to me anytime, happy to support you. So
thank you for joining us, and thank you doctor Christina,
(29:21):
and thank you one for making the show technically possible.
Take care and be well.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence with your host,
dv Park, we hope you have learned more about how
to start living the life you want. Each week on
Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've experienced
growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships. During
Beyond Confidence, Vapark shares what happened to her when she
stepped out of her comfort zone to work directly with
(29:48):
people across the globe. She not only coaches people how
to form hard connections, but also transform relationships to mutually
beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the life they want.
If you are ready to live the life you want
and leverage your strengths, learn more at www dot wpark
dot com and you can connect with wants contact at
(30:09):
dwpark dot com. We look forward to you're joining us
next week.
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!