October 7, 2025 • 41 mins
In this empowering episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh is joined by executive leader and wellness entrepreneur Abha Bowers to share the real story behind rising to the top as a woman—and doing it without losing yourself along the way.
Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-confidence--1885197/support.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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W four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host w Park. Do
you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you
want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
(00:45):
are living the life they want. You will learn how
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com
and you can connect with divats contact dants divpark dot com.
(01:06):
This is beyond confidence and now here's your host, div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and of course I'm thrilled
to be here with you all, and today we have
a very special surprise in store with so one thing
I do want to share quickly that life has its
own way of happening. And just one very quick story
that I want to share with you. Just past this weekend,
(01:35):
everything that could go wrong went wrong and everything that
could go right went right. So I was running with
my partner, the Confident Leaders co hot. We were connecting
with the team members, with the ladies like ed Heart.
I mean, it was a deep connection. So first day's over,
(01:58):
I'm just Hi Hi, without drinking anything or without taking anything.
Come the second day, not only my courage showing signs.
So I take it to the dealer. When I come back,
you know, then what happens is that I'm opening the
garage door. It stuttered and falls on my head like
(02:21):
you know, drop my coffee. And then of course I
got to show up for my co hod So I
do show up. I'm like, huh, Universe is definitely testing me,
I talk about presence and there you go.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Then I fractured my toe.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
So all in all, what I want to share is
that when life is fun, yes, we can be present,
we can be mindful, but the key is how do
you maintain that presence while you're feeling the discomfort? How
can you be on that edge of comfort? And that's
what we are going to be talking about today as
(02:55):
we speak to our very specially guest Abbah.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Thank you so much for having me. Good morning, good morning,
So sorry about your toe.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Part of life, it's like, you know, we took things
for granted and then you find out that little toe
can make a huge difference. Absolutely, But here's I always
say that without contrast, there's no clarity. So unless you
know the contrast, you don't appreciate it as much. You
appreciate but then it kind of brings you back into focus.
So I'll about share with us. When you are young,
(03:32):
do you recall a moment or a person who left
a positive.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Mark on you? Oh? Absolutely, I'm very lucky to say
there's several, but I have to shout out my mother.
She is the core reason why I am so creative
and why I know there's always a solution to any
problem or any obstacle, and that also you can find
ways to make things better. She by far is the
(03:58):
most just engine like ingenious person I know, and as
a woman who you know, came from an arranged marriage,
didn't have the opportunity to finish college. Uh, you know,
there are these certain stereotypes or standards of you know,
what you know can provide creativity or intelligence and things
of that nature. But she is born with just natural
(04:19):
grit and creativity and literally anything is possible that way.
So I have to absolutely shout out my mother there.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, that's phenomenal because it's important that we give that
shout out to those influencers in our life. So, Athew,
weren't growing up? What interest did you have? And you
know usually all kids have this different dream So I'm
going to be this when I grew up, did you
have any of those I did?
Speaker 5 (04:47):
I have to agree. I wanted to be a teacher,
I wanted to be a vet, and I wanted to
be an animal police officer. So advocacy for are those
who cannot defend themselves or speak for themselves, and teaching
and being with people and others were clearly things that
(05:10):
stood out to my folks of what that's what she's
going to do when she grows up something in this world.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I love that, And you know, it's just kind of
fascinating how much we can learn from our pets or
even nature or like un as you're talking about animals,
like just sitting and watching there that little board or.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Yeah, I'm not sure if you've had the chance yet
to see Jane Goodall's documentary on Netflix that just came
out as she recently passed on, and it is fascinating.
But what I love is she said she never understand
she can never grasp how people would say they could
be bored, and she'd say, in nature, there's always something
to watch, observe, and learn. And I find that fascinating
(05:53):
to when you're saying, when you are going through the
difficult moments, it's very easy to fixate on exactly what's
happening to you and feel certain emotions. But if you
were to just look up and look around, step outside,
or even just listen, you see that so much is
going around you to be grateful for, and it really
helps with that perspective. So she's someone I certainly look
up to as.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Well, oh, absolutely, I'll definitely have to. She's one of
my cheers, and yes, yes, talk about nature for the
rest of it, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
Yes, yes, that's her advocacy for animals too, right. It
ties in very well. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
I do want to bring back to you, like you know,
that's that's such a beautiful dream that you had. And
then as you kind of went through your high school
and college, what did you interest take you?
Speaker 5 (06:40):
Well, it took me to I love doing musicals and performing,
so I joined choirs and then my team would go
and compete, and I love being on stage and doing shows.
So I think you know the takeaway there looking back
and reflecting, was I enjoyed public speaking, I enjoyed performing,
and enjoyed teamwork and all those things. When you're an acchoir,
(07:03):
you have to work well. I was a soprano, but
you have to work well with all different levels of
the alto, tenor and base to make sure that you're harmonizing. So,
you know, while lots of folks grow up learning teamwork
via sports, I learned the same tools and mechanisms through
singing and music, and that that part of harmony, whether
you're on the field or you're on the stage, and.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
That is so powerful because whether it is sports.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Or arts, or science or music, that's something that binds
the whole humanity. Doesn't matter where you're from. Good music,
you will be nodding your head to the rhythm, doesn't
matter whether you understand the words or you don't. And
that is such a powerful thing that you said that
you learned the lessons from there. What was like, you know,
(07:52):
a couple of lessons that you've carried with you.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
In today from those experiences. You are better together, stronger together.
You can be powerful and you can perform well, sound
well on your own, but you are always that much
stronger and better when you have others alongside with you
and making sure that you're also aware of others. I'm
(08:15):
an incredibly empathetic human being, and so you know, being
cognizant of those around you and how you are incorporating
them and finding the best superpowers in people, I think
is one of my strengths. And that's something I learned
too by observing and listening. So music you have is
a lot you sing, but you have to listen. I
(08:36):
think a lot of times in our world we like
to share our opinions quickly chime in, but a lot
of times folks need you to pause and listen and
take in what it is that they're trying to tell you.
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
None is such a powerful superpower to have because many
understand people. Whether it's through listening or through observing. You
don't have to think how you can support them. It
comes naturally and that is such a beautiful way to
be a leader. And so tell us your journey from
(09:11):
being a soprano to getting into the corporate world.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Okay, so once my father figured out, all right, medicine
is not going to be her thing. Business is her thing.
My dad's an aprologist, and so he had said, you know,
you take a shine to people. That's your superpower. What
do you think about business? And business is so broad
you could do anything. And I am a big data nerd.
I love numbers, and so really we were debating should
(09:39):
I go into finance. And I had a mentor in
college that said you'd be great for marketing, and I
was like, what's marketing?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Like?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I see TV ads, radio ads. And I was led
to an internship at Merrill Lynch and I'm going to
call out my very first mentor Angela Ponticello, who absolutely
changed my life. The internship was at Merrill Lynch and
it was half marketing, half finance, and I remember him
sitting me down in his office and saying, you know,
you really got the numbers thing down. You're taking a
(10:06):
shine to marketing. I want you to meet someone I
know and his wife's very best friend, Lisa Feckenhoward, who's
still a dear front to this day, was working at
a local ad agency and he had said, why do
you go meet her for the day? And I think
they had day internships back then, and I said, all right,
let's go do this. And I remember walking off onto
this agency and you have to go through an elevator
(10:29):
and the elevator door is ding open, and I knew
I was in love. And it was like he had said,
you kidnapped your head to music, but also you're feeling
something and you have to listen to your body and
the feelings in which it emits. It'll tell you things
sometimes quicker than even your brain. And I felt like
this was my home. I belonged here. There was so
much energy, camaraderie, passion. There was just so much buzz
(10:53):
and I said, what is marketing? I have to figure
out what they do here? And so I had this
day internship. It turned into a week, and then I
was so fortunate turned into a job offer before I
graduated college, and that's how I started my marketing role
in Rochester, New York. So upstate New York. Big shocker,
I'm from there. You know, Wow, another person from New
York living in North Carolina, right, But you know, I
(11:13):
followed my passions through and if you're from Rochester, you
go to New York City to advance your knowledge and
career in marketing. It's the biggest hub there. It's a
big apple. It's exciting. And within my ten years in
New York, I bopped around from going to my first
client in house position at Tiffany and Company, and that
gave me exposure to building and launching new products and services,
(11:35):
doing marketing on a global level, which was really exciting,
and it led me all the way to also working
within startups. I have too dear friends in college that
were brave and bold enough to start their own startup
called Brand Networks. I was their third hire in New
York City and they're still doing fantastic. So shout out
to them too, and you know, so from there that
(11:56):
was Corporate America and I ended up boomeranging back to Rochester,
thinking this is it. I have my house, the kids,
the dogs, the dream. But after my youngest, my daughter
turned to this wonderful thing called sleep, came back to me.
She started sleeping through the night. And yes, I'm one
of those parents with kids who didn't sleep. And you
take that for granted, let me tell you, but I
(12:17):
wanted more than my family here in North Carolina that said,
this is a really great place to raise your children,
and the market's booming for marketing, and so we moved
down and I found walk West and I met Donald Thompson,
who is a game changer, life changer for me, very
well known gentleman in the area. And he, you know,
(12:38):
it came down to him saying, when I was given
the opportunity to become CMO at a very great bank
in Rochester to working at walk West back in the
agency world, he kind of scoffed and said, you think
you're made for corporate America. You know you want to
come back in the ring for the agency world. And
so I did, and it was through Donald's mentorship. That
(12:59):
becoming a CEH fell into my lap, which is kind
of a weird thing to say, Like generally speaking, it's
a goal you obtain and go towards. But my mantra
is right behind me is work hard and be nice
to people. And I truly think things fall into place
with that mindset. And so when Donald you know, went
off to be CEO at the Diversity Movement, he had said,
(13:21):
you know, I want you to put your hat in
the ring to be CEO of walk West. I always
thought I'd be a CMO being in marketing, but I said,
you know what you don't know, you don't know, try
and I was very fortunate. And that's how I fell
into into that corporate world and my first real exposure
into the C suite. And it was an experience I
am so grateful for. I learned so so so much
(13:43):
and it shaped my life.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
You talk about a lot of transitions, you talk about okay,
like you know here I am. I love the animals
from there into music, music to finance, finance to sam
All and becoming in the CEO and the marketing and
then the startup. Because a lot of people are very
very hesitant, so I want us to like, you know,
(14:10):
talk about like, you know, younger generations, younger generations especially nowadays.
You know, unfortunately a lot of young college graduates are
not able to find jobs. Not sure if it is
AI generated or what it is. Like you know, a
lot of coding and all of that is happening, but somehow,
like you know, I was just reading that, what message
(14:33):
would you have to those youngsters like you have been
through so many transitions. What are a few things that
they could do to set themselves up for the next
few years.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
The world is so beautifully different now, you can't give
up hope. There there is more flexibility than ever in
the world. You know, back in my day, you go in,
it's very strict and what the rules are it is
you know this time to this time, it is in
person only. There weren't a lot of entrepreneurs then. There
were not a lot of contract workers hybrid workers at
(15:06):
that time. And now I really want to tell the
younger folks, do not give up, do not give up hope.
For me. Similarly, I graduated college in two thousand and
seven and we hit the recession and there were no jobs.
It was so hard to obtain a job but you
have to hustle, and you have to believe in yourself,
and you have to gain that confidence of who you are.
(15:30):
I would strongly suggest building out your network. You will
never know where meeting one person for coffee can lead
you and who they may know. And you have to
truly believe in yourself and practice gratitude. I can't express
how much practicing gratitude has changed my life. There is
so much out there to be grateful for and to manifest,
(15:50):
you know, the things that you desire and want building
out a plan. A lot of folks give up hope.
But if you can start mapping out again with a
mentor a friend, your parents, whomever, take it one step
at a time. One step is adjustable, one step is approachable,
and build your confidence that way. Like you say, beyond confidence,
don't lose that confidence and forget who you are and
(16:12):
keep chasing your dreams. Absolutely, and I am going to
your point. I'm going to add to that, it's not
just about confidence. You're just starting out in your life.
Go beyond confidence because you're made for more. And as
you mentioned that, you know, especially in today's world. I
personally have lived multiple lives in this life so much. Yes,
(16:37):
I completely understand.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
More flexible in the sense that there are a whole
lot more options versus you know, if you were to
go back, even like two or three decades back, it
wasn't there. So yes, Internet and the web and social
media it has its down place, but it also has
it's a lot of like openings and opportunities and possibility.
(17:00):
It's okay, we've talked about the younger ones now a
lot of times. You know, women, we still hear that
women are still being paid. Not sure, like what was
the current like eighty five cents or whatever to the
dollar that a man is getting paid.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
What do you say to that.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
You have to advocate for yourself or no one's gonna
do it personally for myself, I think the number one
tip also I give people, no matter what your age is,
is you go into a role and you make yourself
invaluable where a company. It would hurt a company to
lose you, right, and so you have to find ways
(17:40):
to add your own special thumbprint, your own special sauce
to wherever it is that you go. But you must
always advocate for yourself. You do not settle, and you
fight for what you are worth, But also what are
you bringing to the table, right, so making sure that
you are tracking, documenting, and really showcasing it. What is
it that you are contributing to the organization. But we
(18:01):
don't just say oh, this is the gap and it's
going to take another twenty years to close it. Every
single person listening can make a difference for us to
get there faster and in a much more efficient way.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
M hm. So you brought up with some very valuable points.
You said, make yourself invaluable. What are some of the
ways where people can find especially sometimes what happens is
that they may be in a repetitive job and don't
have different opportunities to shine.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
Yep. So a job is never just a job. You
could be in accounting and think that your job is
just numbers and things of that nature. But when you
look at an organization or organization is way more than
what it represents. So are you going to be adding
And I'll give you a very random example. I had
a director of media. We were in hybrid times. I
never thought i'd lead an organization during COVID where we
(18:52):
couldn't even see each other, being an extroverse and our
culture was hurting. Our connection was hurting. And if you
don't have people connecting to something, you will see that
your business will decrease in effort and energy and what
your output is. Right, and so he had said, you know,
I know I'm out of media and whatnot, but I
do believe it's really good for us to bring folks together.
(19:12):
I would like to start a committee for whether it's meditation, mondays,
or doing cultural events for us together, or to getting
happy hours together, whatever it is to bring people and
productivity together. He then idated with somebody else who had said, Hey,
I want to do little webinars and get folks up
to speed on how to learn ABC and D. So
once we then saw more engagement, more people joining the calls,
(19:34):
more people participating, you would then see our creativity, our spark,
our camaraderie increased. That's adding value to a company. So
truly get creative on what it is that you think
your company is lacking. It can be in the cultural realm,
it could be a product or service that you could
add that would help your revenue goals. Getting creative and
(19:55):
then contributing is absolutely something anybody can do right now
in this moment, very powerful.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
So what I'm hearing is find the gaps that will
translate into.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
ROI and the way find the gaps, Yes, and to
whatever it is that you want to shine in.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Absolutely and ah, that's a really good point that it's
not only finding the gaps and going after it, but
where you want to shine and you want to bring lights,
so then that makes you invaluable. Now, so many times
what happens is that people are very hesitant, whether it's
men or women, to advocate for themselves. I'm sure you
(20:33):
have heard in your career, and I hear that from
my clients all the time. You know, what if my
message doesn't land and when they find like, you know,
somebody's not nodding their heads, especially if it's not like
you know, people have.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
The cameras turned off.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I don't want to ask the question what if people
think that I'm stupid or what is the perception?
Speaker 4 (20:54):
What would you tell them?
Speaker 5 (20:56):
There comes a point in your life And I don't
want to say you don't care about what other people think,
because you always will care. We're humans. But if you
truly were to factor in and consider everyone else's one
million different ways they can respond, how will you ever grow?
How will you ever learn? How are you ever taking
(21:18):
a risk and getting the reward You're not? So if
you decide to stay quiet and in your bubble and
in your box, frankly, that's on you. But what's the
worst that could happen? If someone doesn't agree with it.
Maybe they won't agree, but they could say, hey, this
person's an idea maker, I want to add them to
this conversation and brainstorm with me. Or it could be
(21:40):
the best idea in the world. But the last thing
you want to do is ever have regret for not
speaking up. Or what could also happen is you have
the idea, you stay quiet, someone else says and you're like,
I have the same idea. Whoever wants to be that guy?
Or hear that person say that? Right, there's no harm
in speaking up for yourself. Again, If you don't, you're
(22:02):
going to be that quiet person in the meeting who's
not bringing or adding any value. And we all have
so much more we can add if we can work
on having the courage to do so.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
And that's important to know that before you go and
advocate for yourself, it's important to start contributing. It's important
to create that impact that's meaningful to people as well
as to the overall revenue. Now, so many times, a
lot of women and men will you know, a lot
of professionals will say that there are layers between the
(22:35):
C suite leadership and them, so how can they garner
the visibility?
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I what I love to do is ask them out
for coffee, ask them out for lunch, because what I
find fascinating is you can learn from anyone, and I
mean anybody, all the way from the CEO to you know,
the janitor to the assistant. Everyone has a compelling story.
You don't know where their paths have led them. You
can learn something from everyone. But if if your goal
is to connect with the c suite, I would advise
(23:03):
you find someone that you look up to and want
to learn from and say I'd love to get coffee
and I'd love to listen to your journey. That is
an incredibly easy way to bring down the wall. And
it's not that you're asking them for a promotion, for
funding or things of that nature. You want to learn
from them. And who doesn't like sharing their story? And
I think that could go a very far away of
saying this is someone who's trying to make a simple
(23:25):
connection with me. How do you say, no, how many
people do you randomly meet at conferences that you get
coffees with rights. It's very disarming, and it's a way
to build a connection, and it gives you a direct line.
But also it allows the person you're meeting with to
get to know you as well. So it's no longer
this terrifying. Oh my god, the CEO's walking in or
the cfo's here, you know, whenever. It's like, at the
(23:47):
end of the day, if people are listening, everybody is
a human. When I used to live in New York City,
there were celebrity sightings everywhere, and at first I'd be like,
oh my god, it's so and so and so and
so I was in the elevator wants to Tier Banks,
and I was like losing my mind. But then I
was like, you know what, she's a person. Everyone's a person.
We're all humans. And when you really put that perspective on,
I'm a human, you're a human, he's a human, it's
(24:07):
not it's not as intimidating I would think is putting
that in that that perspective. So I say, make that contact,
ask for that coffee as for a even a walk
around the building when you're in the office that day.
It can be very simple to make that connection.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Mm hmmm, very powerful. As they say, proximity is power,
m m. You can create proximity with just as simple
as for coffee.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
Yes, and I can guarantee you you have three things
in common with anybody in this world. You could like dogs,
you could like traveling, you could like coffee, the same
sports team, sports in general. And when you find those
ways to connect, it really makes.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
It powerful and does coming back to your journey as
a CEO, tell us you know what lessons did you
learn during that time? Was the journey solitary because a
lot of people say that it's you know, it becomes
very isolated and what for some learnings and if you
have any stories off, any ups and downs, that would
(25:05):
be great.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
Absolutely, it is incredibly isolating. And I was not aware
of that, but my mentor had said, you won't know
until it happens, until you signed that paperwork. Because I
was at the company for several years before I said,
no way, I know that's probably gonna happen everybody else
there's noway's going to happen to me? I've known these
folks for years and years. But she's right because there's
a level of confidentiality decisions you have to make that
(25:29):
can be difficult, and it is incredibly isolating. So my
suggestion there for fellow leaders in those positions is find
others in that role a realm with you to connect with.
And I think what's beautiful is there are a lot
of groups and organizations and folks you can meet to
connect with so you don't feel so alone. So to
answer that question, one, yes, it is absolutely isolating. And
(25:54):
what I learned, you know, is you know, taking the
time to listen to your employees. So an example here
is you may think you know the best way to
do something from your own personal experience, from your own personality,
but you know, I had my mentor come in and
she led a group, and I found out my organization
(26:15):
at the time, let's say, was ninety five percent introverts
and five percent extroverts. You can guess which bucket I
fell into. But if you have an extrovert leader and
most of your employees are introverted, and this is when
we were debating the hybrid scheduling, if their productivity can
excel being introverted within their homes. Why would I demand
(26:35):
they come in five times a week. That's not productive
for anybody. That doesn't work for anyone. And I took
the time to listen to the whys, but you know,
for the folks to make sure I were in X
number of times a week because this is good for
culture and community and brainstorming. But these are the times
in which y'all can be home work on the things
you want to work on in the way in which
(26:56):
you've expressed to me is most productive for you. But
here are the expectations and the ard roles that you have.
So I think setting expectations and being very clear what
you expect of your people is paramount for success. And
listening to the ways in which they want to work
and doing your best to incorporate that as well. When
you lead with an iron fist and you say this
(27:18):
is the way we're going to do it and that's it. Personally,
speaking from my experiences, that's not the most productive way
to run an organization. So really listening to your folks
and learning about them is Keith.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
What would you say, like you know, there was one thing,
like you know, if you were to go back like, Oh,
if I known that, I would have done differently.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
If I had known COVID was coming, I certainly would
have set us up a little bit differently, uh for sure,
in getting us you know, ready for the hybrid world.
That's like the biggest thing I can certainly when people ask, like,
what's the one thing if you could have a magic
eight ball, I wish I could have, so I would
(28:04):
have known more. I think I would have done more
things outside and gotten the team you know, more together
regularly and have some more ways to connect. I wish
we had more resources too that we could share, you
know at already. You know, again it was new to
all organizations, but maybe a buddy system would be nice
to have set up things of that. But I certainly
(28:25):
would have would have loved to have changed some things
around in that hybrid work style before COVID hit us. All.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
And what are a couple of things that you did
and you take pride in it, like, oh, yeah, you
know I did that.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
That has put a big impact.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
When I my biggest pride in my career, I will
say is that we didn't have to let go of
anyone during COVID, And it's because thank you it's not.
I applaud my team too, because what we did was
we banded together and we got creative. So being a
marketing firm, you know, we were building websites and things
of that nature, but we quickly pivoted and said, all right,
(29:03):
for our clients to succeed, you know, one of them
is in the beverage space, we had to quickly incorporate
e commerce into their platforms and their sites and their
system because you couldn't go out and purchase any more
in person. And so when we found ways in which
we could bring our especially brick and mortar organizations to
e commerce, everybody you know, won And so I really
(29:26):
credit my team the hard work, the learning that they
put in to help our clients succeed and our organizations succeed.
But it's it is my most my most problem in
my career because my team, we were twenty five, so
they were family to me. You know, they weren't just
numbers by any means. I knew their family members, their children,
they have mortgages, benefits. It's a lot of weight on
(29:48):
your shoulders in this role. But I was really glad
that we could see that through.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
No, and it's such a beautiful way to look at it,
and for me, that would be the utop. Yeah, in
the corporate world, because whenever I hear people being laid off,
I just cringe because being a people person, there's always
a story. There's somebody it could be, like you said,
you know, mortgages and all of that, and if you
could find ways to work around it, and even if
(30:17):
people so so many times what happens is that you
hire people but they're not right for the job. It's
not that they're not good, they're just not the right fit.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
What would you encourage the leaders to do in those situations.
Speaker 5 (30:35):
Find the strengths of that person and see where they
can apply. Right, So you know, someone can come in
as one realm and you say, all right, this is
the experience they had, this is why we hire them.
But how much of a person can you know within
two interviews, two or three interviews, right, Like, you don't
truly know everything about them. But everyone does have strengths,
(30:56):
So can you find strengths that would apply and help
them business? But if not, you know, you do have
to make sure you're not trying to you know what
they say, ram a square peg into a round hole
or vice versa. So, but I do believe that everyone
has strengths they can contribute. So getting to know that
person and what is their passion people perform what are better,
(31:18):
much better when they do things that align with their values,
their goals and their passion points. So in listening to
someone and say what makes you tick, what do you
like about the job, what do you do in your
spare time, you can learn a lot about people to say, oh,
you didn't mention you did this in the past, or
you have this skill set. This could help the organization
in this way. What do you want to talk about
with a B and c AD. I know you were
(31:40):
in this role, but have you considered potentially going into
project management? If you say you are very organized and
love to keep people you know up to date on
schedules and things of that nature. But I think you
really have to take a full chance on getting to
know someone and their skill sets to see where you
can apply them.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
You have mentioned that you know you and startups so
so many times what happens is that people are in
startup mode and then the cultures can be really, really
good because you can accommodate it's small team and then
fast forward it becomes a mid size company. Fast forward
a little bit. They go for IPO and so many
(32:19):
millennials and gen zs. It's about growth and financial compensation
and the culture. So what happens is that, you know,
now they're vested in the stocks, they see the company
is doing good, very happy, very excited, low and behold.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Fast forward maybe six months down the road.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Now the shareholders and the board members eyes, the eyes
around the company. Let's say, you know, some something tanks,
the share falls, and the leadership who's brand new in
that role, like having all those eyes on them. Then
they start creating all these retrics and during this what
(32:59):
happens is, and I've seen this time and time again
as of coach, is that the same professionals and leaders
who had put them in their sweat like yeah, you know,
this is going to be my equity and of course,
like you know, they're not going to be vested for
another two to three years, but they're not feeling recognized.
You know, how can they understand? Right, the leadership is
(33:22):
new to it and the mid tier is also new
to it. So now they're going from a culture of
that wellness and like you know, care caring for each
other into this fast paced What could they do to
tie through these tough times?
Speaker 5 (33:41):
You have to really you, I mean you know you
have to really It's like time and time again. There
are these videos and quote inspirations you see of we
all have fire in us, but is someone lighting that fire?
Are you lighting that fire? Who? You know? You can
be at the bottom of the total and recognize the
culture's tanking, the company's tanking. Who is going to go
(34:04):
and inspire and light the fire and the flame and
motivate people. I mean that is on leadership one hundred
percent to be sure that that's happening. But if you
do see a void and you're not in leadership, step
up and you have to get the team together to
go behind the same cause. So what I mean by
that is it I was in a lot of m
and A so a lot of acquisition in the banking world,
(34:27):
and we were very fortunate to acquire a lot of banks.
But you had to be so careful when you acquired.
You're not just taking someone taking off the name, slapping
and you one on and saying this is your new name,
role and whatnot. You are bringing them into a family,
into the fold into the culture, making them feel like
they're a part of something, because if you don't feel
(34:48):
or you don't make someone feel like they're a part
of something, why would they care. Of course, they're going
to burn out, they're going to feel resentful, they're going
to feel underappreciated. You have to make sure that you're
consistently setting the tone to what is the north star?
And by leadership, you need to be transparent and saying
this is why we're all working so hard. We are
going towards this cold together and every single person here
(35:11):
plays a part in hitting this goal for the company
to succeed and do well. Then everyone is united. They
understand the what and the why, and you have that
motivation and focus to work together to get there. But
a lot of times I see leadership very behind the scenes,
not sharing where the progress of the company is, why
(35:32):
we're doing this the way that we're doing it, And
then you're going to hear the people and nevily say, well,
I don't know why we're doing this. We should be
doing it this way because this way is better, right,
But if you explain the why, then people will understand why.
It's literally almost like having children, you know each other.
Don't touch the stove why because you're going to burn
your hands. There's a repercussion to that. Hey, we need
(35:53):
to do homework why so we can make sure we're
learning to read, you know what I mean? So you know,
with children, if you just say don't do that, the
first thing they're going to say is why, and they're
going to want to do it. So we deserve explaining
things to people so they know why and keeping them motivated,
and also making sure you're retaining the people who are
behind the why, because if they aren't behind the why,
(36:13):
they're going to add toxicity and that's not good for
any company either.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah. Yeah, now, and you captured it very powerfully that
if you've bought into the why, then what and how
don't matter.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
M M.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
So it's be a coming close to wrapping up our show.
Share a little bit about what might be next for you.
How can people connect with you?
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Well, I've been very lucky. So when I was going
through profession training at walk West to be CEO, I
had a passion with walness and I had said, you
know what, I may not get this job, so what
do I want to do? And I said, this is
the time for me to jump and leap. Leap is
my one of my favorite words, and my mentors said,
leap in the net will appear. And so I got
(37:00):
my nutrition coaching certification and a client at walk West
and said, okay, well I'm going to be your first
client in nutrition. Figure it out. Even though I did
it for my own education. So I ended up opening
my own LLC. So to all my folks listening, to
fill your cup and have passion because we have to
work to survive at times. Right, you can't always have
(37:21):
your dream job, but you can find ways to find
passion and make your heart happy. So for me, opening
an LLC was very scary how easy it was and quick.
It took me twenty seconds online, but there you go.
I'm a small business owner and now I have nutrition clients.
And then I got my personal training degree as well,
so I can also incorporate in that way. I learned
that I could coach part time in gym, so there
(37:43):
are manageable ways you can do this, my friends, to
make sure that you are following a passion in learning
and growing. Because just because you decided to have one job,
to my young folks, just because you decided to go
into finance doesn't mean you're married to finance for the
rest of your life, like you're saying, Divia. We have
so many different lives and people that we were and
able to be, but we decided that right. We took
(38:04):
that leap of faith. So I am excited. In the
next week, there's going to be a fun announcement coming out,
so stay tuned for that on where my next journey goes.
But if I can advise anything to anyone, it's be
open minded, listen to your heart, listen to the voice
in your head. You are so much stronger or more
capable than you are aware of, but you have to
go get it. So you've got to put in that
(38:25):
work and those steps and make those connections, and beautiful
things will come when you manifest, when you have hope,
and when you stay routine. I love this quote I
shared today and it was along the lines of willpower
is a muscle you can strengthen. So I'm talking even
outside of the gym, my friends, your brain, your willpower,
(38:46):
your energies, it's something you control and you can strengthen
and use in a powerful way.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
That's beautiful. And any last thoughts or anything else you'd
like to share.
Speaker 5 (38:59):
Do you know anyone here is feeling hopeless or that
they're stuck in a rut? You got this, Take it
day by day and set little goals for yourself to
help you get to where you want to be. Just
don't give up. You can absolutely do this, all right, y'all,
So hang in there, you got this, find your dream,
go beyond the confidence like we always say here, and
(39:20):
you can make any goal attainable. And I just I
hope everyone for the best there and connect keep connecting absolutely.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Thank you so much Abba for being so open and sharing.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Your thoughts and wisdom.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So I'm sure listeners that you know you're looking forward
to connecting with Abba. She is on LinkedIn and our
LinkedIn profile. If you want to just kind of read
it out and also like share your email, that'll be great.
Speaker 5 (39:49):
Oh yes, you'll find me Abba b ours Abh last
name Bowers. I'm the only one you'll find on LinkedIn
and my email is Abba Abh Reach and metal dot com.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Well, lovely, you know, it was such a pleasure to
have this conversation with you. You bring so much joy
and hope to people. Thank you and we wish you
the best in your journey and I'm sure and positive
that really continue to light the way for others.
Speaker 5 (40:17):
Thank you, Thank you so so much. I've been fortunate
have before, so we have to remember to reach back.
Thank you, Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure,
my pleasure and joy.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
And thank you wonderful audience because without you the show
would not be possible. So reach out, let us know
who can we bring with stories? Do you want to hear?
What do you want to learn so we can make
your life the best you can because you deserve to
live the life you want to. And thank you one
(40:49):
for being our visitech and make it much as possible.
Speaker 4 (40:53):
Yeah, BiVO until life's time.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host d W. Park, we helpe you have learned more
about how to start living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people
who have experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building
meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Vapark shares what happened to
her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to
(41:16):
work directly with people across the globe. She not only
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform
relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live
the life they want. If you are ready to live
the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more
at www dot dvpark dot com and you can connect
with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward
(41:41):
to you joining us next week.
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We make no recommendations or endorsement for radio show programs, services,
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Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any questions or common should
(00:20):
be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
W four WN Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host w Park. Do
you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do you
want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have stepped into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
(00:45):
are living the life they want. You will learn how
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www dot Divpork dot com
and you can connect with divats contact dants divpark dot com.
(01:06):
This is beyond confidence and now here's your host, div Park.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Good morning listeners, It's Tuesday, and of course I'm thrilled
to be here with you all, and today we have
a very special surprise in store with so one thing
I do want to share quickly that life has its
own way of happening. And just one very quick story
that I want to share with you. Just past this weekend,
(01:35):
everything that could go wrong went wrong and everything that
could go right went right. So I was running with
my partner, the Confident Leaders co hot. We were connecting
with the team members, with the ladies like ed Heart.
I mean, it was a deep connection. So first day's over,
(01:58):
I'm just Hi Hi, without drinking anything or without taking anything.
Come the second day, not only my courage showing signs.
So I take it to the dealer. When I come back,
you know, then what happens is that I'm opening the
garage door. It stuttered and falls on my head like
(02:21):
you know, drop my coffee. And then of course I
got to show up for my co hod So I
do show up. I'm like, huh, Universe is definitely testing me,
I talk about presence and there you go.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Then I fractured my toe.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
So all in all, what I want to share is
that when life is fun, yes, we can be present,
we can be mindful, but the key is how do
you maintain that presence while you're feeling the discomfort? How
can you be on that edge of comfort? And that's
what we are going to be talking about today as
(02:55):
we speak to our very specially guest Abbah.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Thank you so much for having me. Good morning, good morning,
So sorry about your toe.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Part of life, it's like, you know, we took things
for granted and then you find out that little toe
can make a huge difference. Absolutely, But here's I always
say that without contrast, there's no clarity. So unless you
know the contrast, you don't appreciate it as much. You
appreciate but then it kind of brings you back into focus.
So I'll about share with us. When you are young,
(03:32):
do you recall a moment or a person who left
a positive.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Mark on you? Oh? Absolutely, I'm very lucky to say
there's several, but I have to shout out my mother.
She is the core reason why I am so creative
and why I know there's always a solution to any
problem or any obstacle, and that also you can find
ways to make things better. She by far is the
(03:58):
most just engine like ingenious person I know, and as
a woman who you know, came from an arranged marriage,
didn't have the opportunity to finish college. Uh, you know,
there are these certain stereotypes or standards of you know,
what you know can provide creativity or intelligence and things
of that nature. But she is born with just natural
(04:19):
grit and creativity and literally anything is possible that way.
So I have to absolutely shout out my mother there.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, that's phenomenal because it's important that we give that
shout out to those influencers in our life. So, Athew,
weren't growing up? What interest did you have? And you
know usually all kids have this different dream So I'm
going to be this when I grew up, did you
have any of those I did?
Speaker 5 (04:47):
I have to agree. I wanted to be a teacher,
I wanted to be a vet, and I wanted to
be an animal police officer. So advocacy for are those
who cannot defend themselves or speak for themselves, and teaching
and being with people and others were clearly things that
(05:10):
stood out to my folks of what that's what she's
going to do when she grows up something in this world.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I love that, And you know, it's just kind of
fascinating how much we can learn from our pets or
even nature or like un as you're talking about animals,
like just sitting and watching there that little board or.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Yeah, I'm not sure if you've had the chance yet
to see Jane Goodall's documentary on Netflix that just came
out as she recently passed on, and it is fascinating.
But what I love is she said she never understand
she can never grasp how people would say they could
be bored, and she'd say, in nature, there's always something
to watch, observe, and learn. And I find that fascinating
(05:53):
to when you're saying, when you are going through the
difficult moments, it's very easy to fixate on exactly what's
happening to you and feel certain emotions. But if you
were to just look up and look around, step outside,
or even just listen, you see that so much is
going around you to be grateful for, and it really
helps with that perspective. So she's someone I certainly look
up to as.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Well, oh, absolutely, I'll definitely have to. She's one of
my cheers, and yes, yes, talk about nature for the
rest of it, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
Yes, yes, that's her advocacy for animals too, right. It
ties in very well. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
I do want to bring back to you, like you know,
that's that's such a beautiful dream that you had. And
then as you kind of went through your high school
and college, what did you interest take you?
Speaker 5 (06:40):
Well, it took me to I love doing musicals and performing,
so I joined choirs and then my team would go
and compete, and I love being on stage and doing shows.
So I think you know the takeaway there looking back
and reflecting, was I enjoyed public speaking, I enjoyed performing,
and enjoyed teamwork and all those things. When you're an acchoir,
(07:03):
you have to work well. I was a soprano, but
you have to work well with all different levels of
the alto, tenor and base to make sure that you're harmonizing. So,
you know, while lots of folks grow up learning teamwork
via sports, I learned the same tools and mechanisms through
singing and music, and that that part of harmony, whether
you're on the field or you're on the stage, and.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
That is so powerful because whether it is sports.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Or arts, or science or music, that's something that binds
the whole humanity. Doesn't matter where you're from. Good music,
you will be nodding your head to the rhythm, doesn't
matter whether you understand the words or you don't. And
that is such a powerful thing that you said that
you learned the lessons from there. What was like, you know,
(07:52):
a couple of lessons that you've carried with you.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
In today from those experiences. You are better together, stronger together.
You can be powerful and you can perform well, sound
well on your own, but you are always that much
stronger and better when you have others alongside with you
and making sure that you're also aware of others. I'm
(08:15):
an incredibly empathetic human being, and so you know, being
cognizant of those around you and how you are incorporating
them and finding the best superpowers in people, I think
is one of my strengths. And that's something I learned
too by observing and listening. So music you have is
a lot you sing, but you have to listen. I
(08:36):
think a lot of times in our world we like
to share our opinions quickly chime in, but a lot
of times folks need you to pause and listen and
take in what it is that they're trying to tell you.
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
None is such a powerful superpower to have because many
understand people. Whether it's through listening or through observing. You
don't have to think how you can support them. It
comes naturally and that is such a beautiful way to
be a leader. And so tell us your journey from
(09:11):
being a soprano to getting into the corporate world.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Okay, so once my father figured out, all right, medicine
is not going to be her thing. Business is her thing.
My dad's an aprologist, and so he had said, you know,
you take a shine to people. That's your superpower. What
do you think about business? And business is so broad
you could do anything. And I am a big data nerd.
I love numbers, and so really we were debating should
(09:39):
I go into finance. And I had a mentor in
college that said you'd be great for marketing, and I
was like, what's marketing?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Like?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I see TV ads, radio ads. And I was led
to an internship at Merrill Lynch and I'm going to
call out my very first mentor Angela Ponticello, who absolutely
changed my life. The internship was at Merrill Lynch and
it was half marketing, half finance, and I remember him
sitting me down in his office and saying, you know,
you really got the numbers thing down. You're taking a
(10:06):
shine to marketing. I want you to meet someone I
know and his wife's very best friend, Lisa Feckenhoward, who's
still a dear front to this day, was working at
a local ad agency and he had said, why do
you go meet her for the day? And I think
they had day internships back then, and I said, all right,
let's go do this. And I remember walking off onto
this agency and you have to go through an elevator
(10:29):
and the elevator door is ding open, and I knew
I was in love. And it was like he had said,
you kidnapped your head to music, but also you're feeling
something and you have to listen to your body and
the feelings in which it emits. It'll tell you things
sometimes quicker than even your brain. And I felt like
this was my home. I belonged here. There was so
much energy, camaraderie, passion. There was just so much buzz
(10:53):
and I said, what is marketing? I have to figure
out what they do here? And so I had this
day internship. It turned into a week, and then I
was so fortunate turned into a job offer before I
graduated college, and that's how I started my marketing role
in Rochester, New York. So upstate New York. Big shocker,
I'm from there. You know, Wow, another person from New
York living in North Carolina, right, But you know, I
(11:13):
followed my passions through and if you're from Rochester, you
go to New York City to advance your knowledge and
career in marketing. It's the biggest hub there. It's a
big apple. It's exciting. And within my ten years in
New York, I bopped around from going to my first
client in house position at Tiffany and Company, and that
gave me exposure to building and launching new products and services,
(11:35):
doing marketing on a global level, which was really exciting,
and it led me all the way to also working
within startups. I have too dear friends in college that
were brave and bold enough to start their own startup
called Brand Networks. I was their third hire in New
York City and they're still doing fantastic. So shout out
to them too, and you know, so from there that
(11:56):
was Corporate America and I ended up boomeranging back to Rochester,
thinking this is it. I have my house, the kids,
the dogs, the dream. But after my youngest, my daughter
turned to this wonderful thing called sleep, came back to me.
She started sleeping through the night. And yes, I'm one
of those parents with kids who didn't sleep. And you
take that for granted, let me tell you, but I
(12:17):
wanted more than my family here in North Carolina that said,
this is a really great place to raise your children,
and the market's booming for marketing, and so we moved
down and I found walk West and I met Donald Thompson,
who is a game changer, life changer for me, very
well known gentleman in the area. And he, you know,
(12:38):
it came down to him saying, when I was given
the opportunity to become CMO at a very great bank
in Rochester to working at walk West back in the
agency world, he kind of scoffed and said, you think
you're made for corporate America. You know you want to
come back in the ring for the agency world. And
so I did, and it was through Donald's mentorship. That
(12:59):
becoming a CEH fell into my lap, which is kind
of a weird thing to say, Like generally speaking, it's
a goal you obtain and go towards. But my mantra
is right behind me is work hard and be nice
to people. And I truly think things fall into place
with that mindset. And so when Donald you know, went
off to be CEO at the Diversity Movement, he had said,
(13:21):
you know, I want you to put your hat in
the ring to be CEO of walk West. I always
thought I'd be a CMO being in marketing, but I said,
you know what you don't know, you don't know, try
and I was very fortunate. And that's how I fell
into into that corporate world and my first real exposure
into the C suite. And it was an experience I
am so grateful for. I learned so so so much
(13:43):
and it shaped my life.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
You talk about a lot of transitions, you talk about okay,
like you know here I am. I love the animals
from there into music, music to finance, finance to sam
All and becoming in the CEO and the marketing and
then the startup. Because a lot of people are very
very hesitant, so I want us to like, you know,
(14:10):
talk about like, you know, younger generations, younger generations especially nowadays.
You know, unfortunately a lot of young college graduates are
not able to find jobs. Not sure if it is
AI generated or what it is. Like you know, a
lot of coding and all of that is happening, but somehow,
like you know, I was just reading that, what message
(14:33):
would you have to those youngsters like you have been
through so many transitions. What are a few things that
they could do to set themselves up for the next
few years.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
The world is so beautifully different now, you can't give
up hope. There there is more flexibility than ever in
the world. You know, back in my day, you go in,
it's very strict and what the rules are it is
you know this time to this time, it is in
person only. There weren't a lot of entrepreneurs then. There
were not a lot of contract workers hybrid workers at
(15:06):
that time. And now I really want to tell the
younger folks, do not give up, do not give up hope.
For me. Similarly, I graduated college in two thousand and
seven and we hit the recession and there were no jobs.
It was so hard to obtain a job but you
have to hustle, and you have to believe in yourself,
and you have to gain that confidence of who you are.
(15:30):
I would strongly suggest building out your network. You will
never know where meeting one person for coffee can lead
you and who they may know. And you have to
truly believe in yourself and practice gratitude. I can't express
how much practicing gratitude has changed my life. There is
so much out there to be grateful for and to manifest,
(15:50):
you know, the things that you desire and want building
out a plan. A lot of folks give up hope.
But if you can start mapping out again with a
mentor a friend, your parents, whomever, take it one step
at a time. One step is adjustable, one step is approachable,
and build your confidence that way. Like you say, beyond confidence,
don't lose that confidence and forget who you are and
(16:12):
keep chasing your dreams. Absolutely, and I am going to
your point. I'm going to add to that, it's not
just about confidence. You're just starting out in your life.
Go beyond confidence because you're made for more. And as
you mentioned that, you know, especially in today's world. I
personally have lived multiple lives in this life so much. Yes,
(16:37):
I completely understand.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
More flexible in the sense that there are a whole
lot more options versus you know, if you were to
go back, even like two or three decades back, it
wasn't there. So yes, Internet and the web and social
media it has its down place, but it also has
it's a lot of like openings and opportunities and possibility.
(17:00):
It's okay, we've talked about the younger ones now a
lot of times. You know, women, we still hear that
women are still being paid. Not sure, like what was
the current like eighty five cents or whatever to the
dollar that a man is getting paid.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
What do you say to that.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
You have to advocate for yourself or no one's gonna
do it personally for myself, I think the number one
tip also I give people, no matter what your age is,
is you go into a role and you make yourself
invaluable where a company. It would hurt a company to
lose you, right, and so you have to find ways
(17:40):
to add your own special thumbprint, your own special sauce
to wherever it is that you go. But you must
always advocate for yourself. You do not settle, and you
fight for what you are worth, But also what are
you bringing to the table, right, so making sure that
you are tracking, documenting, and really showcasing it. What is
it that you are contributing to the organization. But we
(18:01):
don't just say oh, this is the gap and it's
going to take another twenty years to close it. Every
single person listening can make a difference for us to
get there faster and in a much more efficient way.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
M hm. So you brought up with some very valuable points.
You said, make yourself invaluable. What are some of the
ways where people can find especially sometimes what happens is
that they may be in a repetitive job and don't
have different opportunities to shine.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
Yep. So a job is never just a job. You
could be in accounting and think that your job is
just numbers and things of that nature. But when you
look at an organization or organization is way more than
what it represents. So are you going to be adding
And I'll give you a very random example. I had
a director of media. We were in hybrid times. I
never thought i'd lead an organization during COVID where we
(18:52):
couldn't even see each other, being an extroverse and our
culture was hurting. Our connection was hurting. And if you
don't have people connecting to something, you will see that
your business will decrease in effort and energy and what
your output is. Right, and so he had said, you know,
I know I'm out of media and whatnot, but I
do believe it's really good for us to bring folks together.
(19:12):
I would like to start a committee for whether it's meditation, mondays,
or doing cultural events for us together, or to getting
happy hours together, whatever it is to bring people and
productivity together. He then idated with somebody else who had said, Hey,
I want to do little webinars and get folks up
to speed on how to learn ABC and D. So
once we then saw more engagement, more people joining the calls,
(19:34):
more people participating, you would then see our creativity, our spark,
our camaraderie increased. That's adding value to a company. So
truly get creative on what it is that you think
your company is lacking. It can be in the cultural realm,
it could be a product or service that you could
add that would help your revenue goals. Getting creative and
(19:55):
then contributing is absolutely something anybody can do right now
in this moment, very powerful.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
So what I'm hearing is find the gaps that will
translate into.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
ROI and the way find the gaps, Yes, and to
whatever it is that you want to shine in.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Absolutely and ah, that's a really good point that it's
not only finding the gaps and going after it, but
where you want to shine and you want to bring lights,
so then that makes you invaluable. Now, so many times
what happens is that people are very hesitant, whether it's
men or women, to advocate for themselves. I'm sure you
(20:33):
have heard in your career, and I hear that from
my clients all the time. You know, what if my
message doesn't land and when they find like, you know,
somebody's not nodding their heads, especially if it's not like
you know, people have.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
The cameras turned off.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I don't want to ask the question what if people
think that I'm stupid or what is the perception?
Speaker 4 (20:54):
What would you tell them?
Speaker 5 (20:56):
There comes a point in your life And I don't
want to say you don't care about what other people think,
because you always will care. We're humans. But if you
truly were to factor in and consider everyone else's one
million different ways they can respond, how will you ever grow?
How will you ever learn? How are you ever taking
(21:18):
a risk and getting the reward You're not? So if
you decide to stay quiet and in your bubble and
in your box, frankly, that's on you. But what's the
worst that could happen? If someone doesn't agree with it.
Maybe they won't agree, but they could say, hey, this
person's an idea maker, I want to add them to
this conversation and brainstorm with me. Or it could be
(21:40):
the best idea in the world. But the last thing
you want to do is ever have regret for not
speaking up. Or what could also happen is you have
the idea, you stay quiet, someone else says and you're like,
I have the same idea. Whoever wants to be that guy?
Or hear that person say that? Right, there's no harm
in speaking up for yourself. Again, If you don't, you're
(22:02):
going to be that quiet person in the meeting who's
not bringing or adding any value. And we all have
so much more we can add if we can work
on having the courage to do so.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
And that's important to know that before you go and
advocate for yourself, it's important to start contributing. It's important
to create that impact that's meaningful to people as well
as to the overall revenue. Now, so many times, a
lot of women and men will you know, a lot
of professionals will say that there are layers between the
(22:35):
C suite leadership and them, so how can they garner
the visibility?
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I what I love to do is ask them out
for coffee, ask them out for lunch, because what I
find fascinating is you can learn from anyone, and I
mean anybody, all the way from the CEO to you know,
the janitor to the assistant. Everyone has a compelling story.
You don't know where their paths have led them. You
can learn something from everyone. But if if your goal
is to connect with the c suite, I would advise
(23:03):
you find someone that you look up to and want
to learn from and say I'd love to get coffee
and I'd love to listen to your journey. That is
an incredibly easy way to bring down the wall. And
it's not that you're asking them for a promotion, for
funding or things of that nature. You want to learn
from them. And who doesn't like sharing their story? And
I think that could go a very far away of
saying this is someone who's trying to make a simple
(23:25):
connection with me. How do you say, no, how many
people do you randomly meet at conferences that you get
coffees with rights. It's very disarming, and it's a way
to build a connection, and it gives you a direct line.
But also it allows the person you're meeting with to
get to know you as well. So it's no longer
this terrifying. Oh my god, the CEO's walking in or
the cfo's here, you know, whenever. It's like, at the
(23:47):
end of the day, if people are listening, everybody is
a human. When I used to live in New York City,
there were celebrity sightings everywhere, and at first I'd be like,
oh my god, it's so and so and so and
so I was in the elevator wants to Tier Banks,
and I was like losing my mind. But then I
was like, you know what, she's a person. Everyone's a person.
We're all humans. And when you really put that perspective on,
I'm a human, you're a human, he's a human, it's
(24:07):
not it's not as intimidating I would think is putting
that in that that perspective. So I say, make that contact,
ask for that coffee as for a even a walk
around the building when you're in the office that day.
It can be very simple to make that connection.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Mm hmmm, very powerful. As they say, proximity is power,
m m. You can create proximity with just as simple
as for coffee.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
Yes, and I can guarantee you you have three things
in common with anybody in this world. You could like dogs,
you could like traveling, you could like coffee, the same
sports team, sports in general. And when you find those
ways to connect, it really makes.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
It powerful and does coming back to your journey as
a CEO, tell us you know what lessons did you
learn during that time? Was the journey solitary because a
lot of people say that it's you know, it becomes
very isolated and what for some learnings and if you
have any stories off, any ups and downs, that would
(25:05):
be great.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
Absolutely, it is incredibly isolating. And I was not aware
of that, but my mentor had said, you won't know
until it happens, until you signed that paperwork. Because I
was at the company for several years before I said,
no way, I know that's probably gonna happen everybody else
there's noway's going to happen to me? I've known these
folks for years and years. But she's right because there's
a level of confidentiality decisions you have to make that
(25:29):
can be difficult, and it is incredibly isolating. So my
suggestion there for fellow leaders in those positions is find
others in that role a realm with you to connect with.
And I think what's beautiful is there are a lot
of groups and organizations and folks you can meet to
connect with so you don't feel so alone. So to
answer that question, one, yes, it is absolutely isolating. And
(25:54):
what I learned, you know, is you know, taking the
time to listen to your employees. So an example here
is you may think you know the best way to
do something from your own personal experience, from your own personality,
but you know, I had my mentor come in and
she led a group, and I found out my organization
(26:15):
at the time, let's say, was ninety five percent introverts
and five percent extroverts. You can guess which bucket I
fell into. But if you have an extrovert leader and
most of your employees are introverted, and this is when
we were debating the hybrid scheduling, if their productivity can
excel being introverted within their homes. Why would I demand
(26:35):
they come in five times a week. That's not productive
for anybody. That doesn't work for anyone. And I took
the time to listen to the whys, but you know,
for the folks to make sure I were in X
number of times a week because this is good for
culture and community and brainstorming. But these are the times
in which y'all can be home work on the things
you want to work on in the way in which
(26:56):
you've expressed to me is most productive for you. But
here are the expectations and the ard roles that you have.
So I think setting expectations and being very clear what
you expect of your people is paramount for success. And
listening to the ways in which they want to work
and doing your best to incorporate that as well. When
you lead with an iron fist and you say this
(27:18):
is the way we're going to do it and that's it. Personally,
speaking from my experiences, that's not the most productive way
to run an organization. So really listening to your folks
and learning about them is Keith.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
What would you say, like you know, there was one thing,
like you know, if you were to go back like, Oh,
if I known that, I would have done differently.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
If I had known COVID was coming, I certainly would
have set us up a little bit differently, uh for sure,
in getting us you know, ready for the hybrid world.
That's like the biggest thing I can certainly when people ask, like,
what's the one thing if you could have a magic
eight ball, I wish I could have, so I would
(28:04):
have known more. I think I would have done more
things outside and gotten the team you know, more together
regularly and have some more ways to connect. I wish
we had more resources too that we could share, you
know at already. You know, again it was new to
all organizations, but maybe a buddy system would be nice
to have set up things of that. But I certainly
(28:25):
would have would have loved to have changed some things
around in that hybrid work style before COVID hit us. All.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
And what are a couple of things that you did
and you take pride in it, like, oh, yeah, you
know I did that.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
That has put a big impact.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
When I my biggest pride in my career, I will
say is that we didn't have to let go of
anyone during COVID, And it's because thank you it's not.
I applaud my team too, because what we did was
we banded together and we got creative. So being a
marketing firm, you know, we were building websites and things
of that nature, but we quickly pivoted and said, all right,
(29:03):
for our clients to succeed, you know, one of them
is in the beverage space, we had to quickly incorporate
e commerce into their platforms and their sites and their
system because you couldn't go out and purchase any more
in person. And so when we found ways in which
we could bring our especially brick and mortar organizations to
e commerce, everybody you know, won And so I really
(29:26):
credit my team the hard work, the learning that they
put in to help our clients succeed and our organizations succeed.
But it's it is my most my most problem in
my career because my team, we were twenty five, so
they were family to me. You know, they weren't just
numbers by any means. I knew their family members, their children,
they have mortgages, benefits. It's a lot of weight on
(29:48):
your shoulders in this role. But I was really glad
that we could see that through.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
No, and it's such a beautiful way to look at it,
and for me, that would be the utop. Yeah, in
the corporate world, because whenever I hear people being laid off,
I just cringe because being a people person, there's always
a story. There's somebody it could be, like you said,
you know, mortgages and all of that, and if you
could find ways to work around it, and even if
(30:17):
people so so many times what happens is that you
hire people but they're not right for the job. It's
not that they're not good, they're just not the right fit.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
What would you encourage the leaders to do in those situations.
Speaker 5 (30:35):
Find the strengths of that person and see where they
can apply. Right, So you know, someone can come in
as one realm and you say, all right, this is
the experience they had, this is why we hire them.
But how much of a person can you know within
two interviews, two or three interviews, right, Like, you don't
truly know everything about them. But everyone does have strengths,
(30:56):
So can you find strengths that would apply and help
them business? But if not, you know, you do have
to make sure you're not trying to you know what
they say, ram a square peg into a round hole
or vice versa. So, but I do believe that everyone
has strengths they can contribute. So getting to know that
person and what is their passion people perform what are better,
(31:18):
much better when they do things that align with their values,
their goals and their passion points. So in listening to
someone and say what makes you tick, what do you
like about the job, what do you do in your
spare time, you can learn a lot about people to say, oh,
you didn't mention you did this in the past, or
you have this skill set. This could help the organization
in this way. What do you want to talk about
with a B and c AD. I know you were
(31:40):
in this role, but have you considered potentially going into
project management? If you say you are very organized and
love to keep people you know up to date on
schedules and things of that nature. But I think you
really have to take a full chance on getting to
know someone and their skill sets to see where you
can apply them.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
You have mentioned that you know you and startups so
so many times what happens is that people are in
startup mode and then the cultures can be really, really
good because you can accommodate it's small team and then
fast forward it becomes a mid size company. Fast forward
a little bit. They go for IPO and so many
(32:19):
millennials and gen zs. It's about growth and financial compensation
and the culture. So what happens is that, you know,
now they're vested in the stocks, they see the company
is doing good, very happy, very excited, low and behold.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
Fast forward maybe six months down the road.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Now the shareholders and the board members eyes, the eyes
around the company. Let's say, you know, some something tanks,
the share falls, and the leadership who's brand new in
that role, like having all those eyes on them. Then
they start creating all these retrics and during this what
(32:59):
happens is, and I've seen this time and time again
as of coach, is that the same professionals and leaders
who had put them in their sweat like yeah, you know,
this is going to be my equity and of course,
like you know, they're not going to be vested for
another two to three years, but they're not feeling recognized.
You know, how can they understand? Right, the leadership is
(33:22):
new to it and the mid tier is also new
to it. So now they're going from a culture of
that wellness and like you know, care caring for each
other into this fast paced What could they do to
tie through these tough times?
Speaker 5 (33:41):
You have to really you, I mean you know you
have to really It's like time and time again. There
are these videos and quote inspirations you see of we
all have fire in us, but is someone lighting that fire?
Are you lighting that fire? Who? You know? You can
be at the bottom of the total and recognize the
culture's tanking, the company's tanking. Who is going to go
(34:04):
and inspire and light the fire and the flame and
motivate people. I mean that is on leadership one hundred
percent to be sure that that's happening. But if you
do see a void and you're not in leadership, step
up and you have to get the team together to
go behind the same cause. So what I mean by
that is it I was in a lot of m
and A so a lot of acquisition in the banking world,
(34:27):
and we were very fortunate to acquire a lot of banks.
But you had to be so careful when you acquired.
You're not just taking someone taking off the name, slapping
and you one on and saying this is your new name,
role and whatnot. You are bringing them into a family,
into the fold into the culture, making them feel like
they're a part of something, because if you don't feel
(34:48):
or you don't make someone feel like they're a part
of something, why would they care. Of course, they're going
to burn out, they're going to feel resentful, they're going
to feel underappreciated. You have to make sure that you're
consistently setting the tone to what is the north star?
And by leadership, you need to be transparent and saying
this is why we're all working so hard. We are
going towards this cold together and every single person here
(35:11):
plays a part in hitting this goal for the company
to succeed and do well. Then everyone is united. They
understand the what and the why, and you have that
motivation and focus to work together to get there. But
a lot of times I see leadership very behind the scenes,
not sharing where the progress of the company is, why
(35:32):
we're doing this the way that we're doing it, And
then you're going to hear the people and nevily say, well,
I don't know why we're doing this. We should be
doing it this way because this way is better, right,
But if you explain the why, then people will understand why.
It's literally almost like having children, you know each other.
Don't touch the stove why because you're going to burn
your hands. There's a repercussion to that. Hey, we need
(35:53):
to do homework why so we can make sure we're
learning to read, you know what I mean? So you know,
with children, if you just say don't do that, the
first thing they're going to say is why, and they're
going to want to do it. So we deserve explaining
things to people so they know why and keeping them motivated,
and also making sure you're retaining the people who are
behind the why, because if they aren't behind the why,
(36:13):
they're going to add toxicity and that's not good for
any company either.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah. Yeah, now, and you captured it very powerfully that
if you've bought into the why, then what and how
don't matter.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
M M.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
So it's be a coming close to wrapping up our show.
Share a little bit about what might be next for you.
How can people connect with you?
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Well, I've been very lucky. So when I was going
through profession training at walk West to be CEO, I
had a passion with walness and I had said, you
know what, I may not get this job, so what
do I want to do? And I said, this is
the time for me to jump and leap. Leap is
my one of my favorite words, and my mentors said,
leap in the net will appear. And so I got
(37:00):
my nutrition coaching certification and a client at walk West
and said, okay, well I'm going to be your first
client in nutrition. Figure it out. Even though I did
it for my own education. So I ended up opening
my own LLC. So to all my folks listening, to
fill your cup and have passion because we have to
work to survive at times. Right, you can't always have
(37:21):
your dream job, but you can find ways to find
passion and make your heart happy. So for me, opening
an LLC was very scary how easy it was and quick.
It took me twenty seconds online, but there you go.
I'm a small business owner and now I have nutrition clients.
And then I got my personal training degree as well,
so I can also incorporate in that way. I learned
that I could coach part time in gym, so there
(37:43):
are manageable ways you can do this, my friends, to
make sure that you are following a passion in learning
and growing. Because just because you decided to have one job,
to my young folks, just because you decided to go
into finance doesn't mean you're married to finance for the
rest of your life, like you're saying, Divia. We have
so many different lives and people that we were and
able to be, but we decided that right. We took
(38:04):
that leap of faith. So I am excited. In the
next week, there's going to be a fun announcement coming out,
so stay tuned for that on where my next journey goes.
But if I can advise anything to anyone, it's be
open minded, listen to your heart, listen to the voice
in your head. You are so much stronger or more
capable than you are aware of, but you have to
go get it. So you've got to put in that
(38:25):
work and those steps and make those connections, and beautiful
things will come when you manifest, when you have hope,
and when you stay routine. I love this quote I
shared today and it was along the lines of willpower
is a muscle you can strengthen. So I'm talking even
outside of the gym, my friends, your brain, your willpower,
(38:46):
your energies, it's something you control and you can strengthen
and use in a powerful way.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
That's beautiful. And any last thoughts or anything else you'd
like to share.
Speaker 5 (38:59):
Do you know anyone here is feeling hopeless or that
they're stuck in a rut? You got this, Take it
day by day and set little goals for yourself to
help you get to where you want to be. Just
don't give up. You can absolutely do this, all right, y'all,
So hang in there, you got this, find your dream,
go beyond the confidence like we always say here, and
(39:20):
you can make any goal attainable. And I just I
hope everyone for the best there and connect keep connecting absolutely.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Thank you so much Abba for being so open and sharing.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Your thoughts and wisdom.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So I'm sure listeners that you know you're looking forward
to connecting with Abba. She is on LinkedIn and our
LinkedIn profile. If you want to just kind of read
it out and also like share your email, that'll be great.
Speaker 5 (39:49):
Oh yes, you'll find me Abba b ours Abh last
name Bowers. I'm the only one you'll find on LinkedIn
and my email is Abba Abh Reach and metal dot com.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Well, lovely, you know, it was such a pleasure to
have this conversation with you. You bring so much joy
and hope to people. Thank you and we wish you
the best in your journey and I'm sure and positive
that really continue to light the way for others.
Speaker 5 (40:17):
Thank you, Thank you so so much. I've been fortunate
have before, so we have to remember to reach back.
Thank you, Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure,
my pleasure and joy.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
And thank you wonderful audience because without you the show
would not be possible. So reach out, let us know
who can we bring with stories? Do you want to hear?
What do you want to learn so we can make
your life the best you can because you deserve to
live the life you want to. And thank you one
(40:49):
for being our visitech and make it much as possible.
Speaker 4 (40:53):
Yeah, BiVO until life's time.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence. With your
host d W. Park, we helpe you have learned more
about how to start living the life you want. Each
week on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people
who have experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building
meaningful relationships. During Beyond Confidence, Vapark shares what happened to
her when she stepped out of her comfort zone to
(41:16):
work directly with people across the globe. She not only
coaches people how to form hard connections, but also transform
relationships to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live
the life they want. If you are ready to live
the life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more
at www dot dvpark dot com and you can connect
with vat contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward
(41:41):
to you joining us next week.
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