September 30, 2025 • 33 mins
In this high-impact episode of Beyond Confidence, host Divya Parekh is joined by legendary coach, strategist, and author Louis Pelliccioni, Jr., co-author of Don’t Choke, to explore what it really takes to perform when the stakes are high.
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Beyond Confidence is broadcast live Tuesdays at 10AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Beyond Confidence TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Beyond Confidence Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
who have steps into discomfort, shattered their status quo, and
are living the life they want. You will learn how
(00:48):
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www. Don't Divpark Dot com
and you can connect with div Ants Contact Dants divpark
dot com. This is beyond confidence And now here's your host,
(01:09):
div Parnk.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Good morning listener, So excited to be here with you all.
And it's Tuesday morning. Yes, and we are going to
be talking sports today like with our guests.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
So let's bring in our guests today.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Hey, good morning dar you.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Good morning low.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
So look, share with my audience if you know of
any moment or any person who left a very positive
mark on you.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Oh wow, wow a positive Uh well, it would have
to start with my parents. I was extremely lucky to
have the parents that I had and the lessons that
they taught me. And from when I was twelve years
old working in my dad's shop and I was getting
(02:03):
paid like a dollar an hour or something. Was twelve
years old, and after about a few months, he said, son,
I'm going to give you a chance to make more money.
I said, that's great. So he said, I'm going to
pay to you by the jobs that you do. And
of course he knew what was going on. I was
playing around. I was a typical twelve year old, of course,
(02:24):
So the next time I got we were supposed to
get paid I said, Dad, there's something wrong. I didn't
make as much money. And he said, well, son, that's
because you didn't work very hard and you I'm paying
you by the job, and he said, you need to
understand that you're getting paid for the value you bring
to the hour, not for just showing up. And I've
(02:44):
never forgot it.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Oh wow, what a beautiful lesson to teach a child.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yes, very lucky, and I believe it or not, Devia.
In my finance career, everybody that's hired has told that story.
You are not here just to put in an hour.
You're here to bring value to that hour.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yes, And that's the thing, right, Like, if you don't
add value, then you could work one hundred hours and
it's worthless.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
So it's important that you bring value to it.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yep, very very much.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You've had a very multi dimensional career. So tell us
as you grew up, like you know, when you were young,
what interest did you have.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Let's see, in high school I lettered in football, basketball, baseball, golf,
in tennis, so obvisually I liked sports and after that
I went into coaching at a very young age. I
was nineteen years old sophomore in college and the principal
to school where i'd gone called me and said, hey, lou,
(03:52):
we need your help. The eighth grade coach got sick
because you coach the team, and I had just finished
playing on the West Virginia freshman basketball team, and so
I was all fired up. And that started my career
in coaching for about eighteen nineteen years at every level.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Nice, so tell us, like, you know, you know every
stage is so precious and yet different.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
How did you adapt? Tell us about your journey?
Speaker 5 (04:21):
Well, I was, like I said, I was very lucky.
You started early and I got the head coaching job
at the high school. I think I was twenty years old.
I still had six months to graduate and they got
special permission. I've had so many wonderful, wonderful things. And
after spending five years as the head coach, where we
(04:44):
were very successful. We had great kids, believe me, great players.
Even though they had never won a championship, we won
two championships in five years, state championships. And then I
decided I wanted to see what college coaching was like,
and I went into small college and then my last
seven years in coaching, I was an assistant coach at
(05:05):
West Virginia University with Gail Catlett, who was the head coach,
and just I'd go back and do it again. I'd
go back again. And it wasn't about money. I had
to do all kinds of special things to make enough
money to live, and but I'd do it again. The experiences,
the things I learned were amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
You talk about success, right, you mentioned just now it was.
You know, it was so powerful that I did other
things also to make money, and I would do it again.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
In a heartbeat.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
So what was it about that coaching that kept you
wanting to come back to it.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Well, in my last book that I just published about success,
there was a study done in two thousand and four
and there was a book written from that. The book
is called Grit, and it's studied all of the factors
that motivate people everything and why people are successful in
(06:10):
what they do. And the number one factor that came
out was grit, which is passion and perseverance. And I
would agree with that. I've had passion and everything. I
went from coaching, which was my passion, and then I
went into my hobby, which was a stock market, which
you know, if you have a hobby, you love it,
and I'm still working today, it's going to be seventy seven,
(06:32):
and still look forward to coming in and working and
dealing with people and so forth. And I'm enjoying now
giving talks at high schools about success. I've been in
about six different states, from Florida to West Virginia to
Ohio to Pennsylvania to Maryland, and I just came back
(06:53):
from Las Vegas and just given talks about success. It's
my passion.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
You said about passionate perceiverance. So what were you passionate about?
What did it give it to you?
Speaker 5 (07:08):
You know what, that's an interesting story. I think it's
just a love of sports. When I first you know,
when I first started, obviously I played a lot of
sports and all the things that it taught me. And
I look back on what sports and I just think
it's one of the best things you can do with
kids is get them into sports. And I'm not saying
(07:28):
for them to be a pro player or anything like that.
I'm just saying what you learn in sports, and it
was just so easy. I loved and I'm how do
I say this, I'm very competitive. I started that way.
I mean when I was twelve years old. I wanted
to try to find a way to win a monopoly
by how you could roll the dice. I mean, I
(07:51):
just I'd love to compete, and I'm you know, very
very unusual, not to a point of doing something wrong.
I've told people there's no honor in winning if you
don't win fairly, and it really upsets me on some
of the things that I see out there today where
(08:12):
money is well, they call it the root of all evil,
and I see it everywhere in sports today. It's all
about winning at all costs. And my last book talks
about that, where it's success is more than winning. And
I don't think winning the wrong way is right. I
would rather lose in the wrong way. And you know
(08:34):
what's funny, And I think something like golf taught me
that because if anybody that plays golf, they understand it.
You don't touch the ball when you're playing in competition,
you don't do any kind of things like that. There's
an integrity there, and unfortunately in some of the sports
it's not there. And I've been around all of them,
(08:54):
and I don't like some of the things I see,
and you know, from when it's just winning, because there's
just so much money involved, And I mean we've seen
that in college recently, cheating and everything else that doesn't matter,
you know, the universities that hire the people back because
(09:17):
they want doesn't matter if they cheat it, and I
think that's repulsive.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
M Definitely, integrity is one of the key things because
at the end of the day, regardless whether you have
won or not, whatever you have done yep, and you
look at yourself, whether it's in the mirror or you know,
you're with yourself, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
What you've done.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
It's not for anybody else to see. It's for you
to have that peace of mind. And also it's there
right when you live with integrity, just the power of it.
You stand in your own truth, You stand in that
confidence that nothing else can replace it with. So what
would you say with some of the lessons that you
(09:59):
carried from the high school coaching to college coaching.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
That's a good question, obviously, the things you learn. I
was really involved with the sports psychology angle that I
got involved with at a young age. I was probably
in my late twenties or something, and I was involved
in a book called Don't Choke, where we talked about
(10:29):
how to handle pressure in sports and I even gave
talks at the PGA for a couple of years with
it about that about handling pressure, and got to meet
my idol, Arnold Palmer, at one of my talks. He
actually showed up. You talk about adding pressure when your
idol walks into room, and believe it or not, we
(10:50):
talked for an hour afterwards and he said, he told me,
he said, Lou you're right on. He said, you know,
he said, you can do more and achieve more between
how you handle the six inches between your ears, the
mental side of the game. And I've never forgot it.
And just so I understood the psychology, and I was
(11:13):
involved in a book and dealt with psychology, and I've
continued that route and all the different things you can do.
So I brought the mental side from high school to college,
where I taught the players how to relax and because
everyone gets a little excited or nervous and which is
very normal, very normal, but it's how you mentally handle it.
(11:38):
And of course from them, I was talking about mental
imagery self talk fifty years ago to my players and
now it's like a standard. You talk, You listen to
anybody and you can see them closing their eyes and
mentally getting an image of what they're about to do,
which is so important, watching how they talk to themselves.
(12:00):
And I've even one of the things I did that's
really kind of neat that I've had a lot of
fun with. It. Took me six years to write my
new book, success is more Than Winning, and I added
something because of an editor that told me, she says,
you know, I've read every success book out there. What's
going to make yours different? I mean, she hit me
(12:22):
with that the first week, I think, which was unbelievable.
And she said, I've got an idea for you, and
she said, why don't you back up your experience with research?
So in my book, I've got about eighty different research
projects summarized after I talk about the point. And I
(12:42):
learned a lot, even at my age and my experience,
from just researching success and all the different things that
are involved in it. So that's kind of what I
brought to to college. Was more than mental because back
forty fifty years ago, people weren't dealing with that very much,
(13:05):
and it was a new science, let's say so. And
I've always enjoyed it. I can watch players, like, say
someone's at the foul line, and it's really a pressure time.
I can see if they're thinking about it, which that
you shouldn't do. You're just supposed to just do what
you normally do, but the pressure makes you try to
(13:28):
put the ball in the basket instead of just shooting
the ball. And it's all how you deal with it mentally.
You've got to have a mental routine. All the top
athletes today, if you listen to them, they all have
mental routines. A lot of them have sports psychologists that
work with them. It's kind of a norm today because
they understand how important it is. And I was just
(13:50):
lucky that I was involved in it very early in
my career.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Absolutely, So you know, let's kind of take some of
those learnings to the CEOs and professionals and leaders in
the corporate industries and our entrepreneurs. So what is happening
is there's a lot of you know, turbulence kind of
going on in the industries right now because of artificial intelligence, economy,
(14:19):
whatever we want.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
To call it.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Just recently, I saw a study where they showed was
that the college.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Degree holders.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Are finding themselves unemployed in a very long time. And
also a lot of young college graduates and I'm getting jobs.
So for whatever some of the reasons, what advice would
you give them, Like, you know, what mental game that
they can play.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
Well, you're talking about something that deals with where the
jobs are. And if you look in history, jobs they've
gone different ways and AI is changed all that. There's
no question about it. I mean they're talking about it
being a revolution, just like when computers were first first
(15:09):
came out and how it destroyed some of the jobs.
And unfortunately it is destroying jobs. One of the reasons
that a lot of jobs were shipped overseas was because
they could do it cheaper. Well, now because of AI,
we are bringing jobs back to America. I mean there's
plants going up everywhere. But it's not your typical laborer
(15:32):
type job. It's someone that has experience in AI or
somebody that knows a lot about computers and how to
do that. Because for one hundred Chinese, it might only
take with AI on our side, ten people to do
the same job that one hundred Chinese can do. So
now it's it's cheaper cheaper than what they can do
(15:53):
over there because we're because of AI. So people need
to realize that I know that I have two young
sons and one runs my finance company and the other
one is going to be coming in with us in
some part here very shortly, and told them both that
(16:16):
we need to be involved in AI. And my oldest
son is very much involved and understands it, knows how
to deal with it, talking about ways to use it
in our business and so forth. So that old adage,
if you don't adapt, you die. And so you can't
sit there with a psychology degree like you know, I
(16:38):
know a lot about psychology. I spent fifteen hours starting
out to get a sports psychology degree and that might
be something. But when AI comes, a person will be
able to get all the latest stuff and so forth
on a computer on their phone, and so you've got
(16:59):
to be able to add value. As I learned, and
as a twelve year old, whatever you've got to do
to adapt today versus complaining about it and well this
is terrible, I can't know now. You have to basically
go out and adapt to whatever it is. Coaching taught
(17:20):
me that I'm so lucky to have been a coach,
because you're constantly evaluating, constantly going over and changing things.
And if you sit there and complain and wine. You're
not going to be there very long. What are you
going to do? I heard a story about this and said,
(17:41):
for people that complain and wine, this one coach. If
someone brings anything up, he said, what are you going
to do about it? That's the key. What are you
going to do about it? Not sit there and wine.
And because jobs are different, No, you may have to
go back to school, you may have to take some
night courses. That's the reality of it. And if you
(18:03):
sit there and stay unemployed because of it, it's your
own fault. I'm a big, big responsibility person. I take
total responsibility and for everything that I do, and it's
just so important of a key for success and people
in today. Because things are changing. That's what makes it
(18:25):
more difficult for young people today. And the old thing
that you used to do, it might be changed and
you might have to learn how to adapt to it.
And I'll tell you I would have a hard time
because I've got people that help me with technology. I
don't know what I'd have to do if I didn't
have help with AI and stuff like that. But I'm
just lucky I've got younger people around who are well
(18:49):
versed in it. But you've got to adapt, You've got
to take responsibility. You know. My favorite mantra when I
was a coach was, if it's to be, it's up
to me, and I would I wouldn't let anybody anything else.
It's that simple. You're not starting, you want to start,
(19:11):
then it's up to you. You got to start working
instead of leaving practice early, you know, and everybody else
is staying late and you're basically leaving. So there's just
a lot of good things out there about success that
I've learned and I failed. You know. Part of the
things people say, lou you just nothing bothers you, And
I said, no, it's because of sports. I learned how
(19:33):
to lose and learn from it and move on. I
was a big proponent of John Wooden, who was the
coach at u c l A, in fact, the winning
one of the winning as coaches ever. Uh yeah, listen
to the statistic. He won seven NCAA championships in a row.
(19:57):
And we're lucky if we get one team to win
one in a row. You know today he won seven,
and he won ten in twelve years. I visited his
practices when I was young, twenty years old, I remember
it just like yesterday. He taught me the form mindsets
that are very very important in life, and I've used
(20:17):
them for fifty years and they've taught me just so
many things. Sports can do that, and that's the most
wonderful thing any parent out there. And I'm not saying,
you know that I expect them to be a star,
but get them involved where they fail, and you watch
them and you teach them how to fail. There's nothing
(20:39):
wrong with failure, and if you learn from.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
It, that's the key. And I like what you said.
You said that if it's to be, it's up to me.
And when you're taking that ownership and so then everything right,
whether it's failure or success, they're yours to own. Where's
so many people will blame it on other people?
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Oh yeah, those the escape people. You know, the team
was better. We lost a ballgame, and I remember it
vividly because there was a really close call to the
end of the game, and of course the players coming
down all complaining about the official. Everybody just typical, and
(21:26):
I said, excuse me. I said, yes, the call may
have cost this, I said, may have cost us, But
I said, if we would have played better, it wouldn't
have been close, and so it wouldn't have been up
to this person to make a mistake if they did.
Just remember that that's our fault. We let this team
(21:47):
too close where that somebody could separate it or make
the difference that had nothing to do with the game.
And I'm just you know, I'm just such a believer
in all those kinds of things. We need to be better.
Of course, I again, John Wooden was my idol and
everything from his definition of success, which I've used. I've
(22:08):
never talked about winning ever's and his definition basically was
you know, do your best, because he said that's all
you can do. If you've done your best, that's all
you can do. And if you don't win the ultimate
what you want, then you have to know you have
to work on things. And that's what losing teaches you.
(22:28):
It just teaches you, and it gives you an opportunity
to get better.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
So you mentioned about John Wooden's for mindsets. Can you
share that with us?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Yeah? The first one which was sound as very easy
I thought it was, and it took me years to
develop it. And that is always staying in the present.
Anybody that I'm around I do not let him go
to the past or go to the future, and we
in the present at all times, because that's the only
(23:04):
way you can get better. You don't get better by
winding about the past or worrying about the past. The
past is the past. There's something you can do about it.
In the future, it's going to be whatever. So if
you stay in the present, and I'll never forget. Obviously,
I think twenty one years old, and I visited his
practice out in LA and I'm watching him talk to
(23:27):
his team, and here's what he said. I mean, I
don't have it perfect, but basically he said, Okay, I've
got you for the next two hours. I want you
to forget about your girlfriend. I want you to forget
about a test that you have tomorrow. I want you
to forget about where you're going to go right after practice.
(23:50):
I want one hundred percent concentration on the present of
the next two hours to be basketball. After practice, he
talked to him and said, Okay, practice is over, go
out and enjoy life. Go out and if you've got studying,
to do one hundred percent on your studying. So it's
(24:11):
everything you do, you do it in the present and
going along with that is also doing it to the fullest.
Do everything to the fullest, and it kind of goes
the same. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it to the fullest.
You're trying some of the other ones that learned. I
(24:34):
was coaching high school when all coaches were screamers and
yellers except John Wooden. John Wooden was very reserved, and
he said, you've got to learn to stay even keel
or you will make mistakes. And if you ever watched him,
he just sat on the bench. He didn't get excited
at all, no matter what was going on. And I
(24:56):
learned that and I was the same. I was exactly
because I was always evaluating, you know, other things. And
so it's very important to stay even kel in your
life because more mistakes are made by emotion. And so
I try to stay even keel, and I think overall
(25:18):
I've done a pretty good job. There have been a
couple of mistakes I have to admit where I didn't
stay as even keel as I wanted to be, and
but I learned from it and moved on and I've stayed.
Like I say, I just believe in that that concept.
So let's see, you've got even keel stay in the
present and do everything to the fullest. And what's the
(25:39):
fourth one? Uh oh yeah, compete against yourself. Very very important.
That's I never learned. Oh, very difficult. I never worry
about anybody but me and I, you know, and I
(25:59):
try to pray myself. I mean, I'll tell you. When
I was coaching high school, the reason we won a
couple of state championships because of besides having good players,
which I can tell you have to have, we played
better and bigger schools than us and took the chance
of losing to learn to be ready to win. In fact,
(26:21):
one of the schools we played in a game at
the WVU Coliseum before a West Virginia game, and our
school we only had a couple hundred kids in the
school we played had twenty four to twenty five hundred,
and we beat them. But we lost a couple of
games that year against very good competition. But we won
(26:45):
the first state championship in school's history because we weren't
afraid to fail. We weren't afraid to take the risk.
What is it? I love the statement. I didn't by
the way, I didn't come up with this, but I
love it. The three enemies' success are fear, risk, and failure,
and your success will be how you handle those three fear, risk,
(27:08):
and failure because all three of them, if you don't
handle them right, they will cause you not to be
as successful. And I've never been afraid to take risks
at all. I have no fear because I don't care
if I fail. And then the last failure, I've learned
(27:28):
that it's a great opportunity to learn. So I've just
had so many great experiences. You know what I told
someone the other day, you'll laugh at this. I said,
I had wonderful parents, I had a wonderful teachers, I
had great coaches and mentors. I said, I'm not so
sure I haven't done as well as I should have
(27:49):
with all the great influences that I've had. And I've
been around a lot of success, and I'm starting to
look at that. I should have done a lot more,
I think, and I've just had so many good things happen.
That's one of the reasons I'm going back to high
schools and talking to kids. And by the way, charge zero.
Sofre's anybody out there in the education system that would
(28:11):
like to have me come and talk to the kids
about success anywhere. I will go anywhere because I'm I'm
part time now and so I can I can go anywhere.
And like I said, I just came back from Vegas
and love doing it, talking to teachers, talking to parents
and the kids about success.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Absolutely, And I'm sure you know, if any of our
listeners are interested, they'll reach out to you.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
So tell us about your books. Find you.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
I've had so much fun. This was my first book.
It's called Don't Choke, and that's where I had where
it was about handling pressure and sports. I'm just probably
in my thirties when I did that, co authored that
with Mike Scott, and went around all over the United
States given talks at camps and feature speakers about about
(29:05):
pressure and what it causes. I mean, when we look
at pressure, it's amazing and stress. Stress causes seventy percent
of our illnesses, so we need to learn how to
handle it. And I learned the greatest lesson when I
was like twenty one years old. I have my master's
in speech and communication. And the doctor that was there
(29:27):
was the one I wrote the book with, and he
was teaching people how to relax and I learned how
to relax at twenty one years old, twenty two and
it's one of the best skills I've ever learned. And
because we all deal with stress, we all have to
handle it. And I was very lucky to be involved
in that. And then this book that just came out
(29:49):
a few months ago. Success is more than winning. It's
where I use all of my experience, all the research
that I've studied to talk about success. And like I say,
I'm going around giving talks to high schools and just
having having a ball, just having so much fun. And
(30:13):
my objective is to motivate at least one person.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
I'm sure you're motivated more than one person.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Loop you know.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
And what's your website? Where can we reach you?
Speaker 5 (30:25):
Yes, Yes, you can Succeed dot Org is the and
you know, and the book you can get is on Amazon.
In fact, it's the best seller on Amazon. I've been told.
I don't know what that means other than having a
certain amount of time and but Amazon. And then I
(30:45):
also have a workbook that I just finished and it's
on one of the most important things that I believe
in success. It's on goal planning. I have had goals
for fifty years, I write them down and research proves
how important that is. I show people how to do
a vision board, and I've got in my workbook you
(31:08):
can do a vision board. And then the number one
planning tool for the last hundred years is box planning.
And that's just basically planning every hour of the day.
And I've done those three things my whole life, and
there's no question it's led to whatever I've succeeded in.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
And that's hard, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.
What if any last thoughts might you have for our audience.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Last, the thing that I would say, because of knowing
how a lot of people are, is take risks, don't
be afraid to fail, and remember if it's to be,
it's up to you.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Absolutely. Thank you so much Louke for joining us. It
was a pleasure talking to you same here.
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Thank you very much for the opportunity.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Absolutely, thank you wonderful audience for being part of the show.
Please reach out to us, let us know how we
can support you and service so that you can live
the life you deserve. And thank you one I Tech
Visits for making the show technically possible. Bell see you
(32:28):
next time.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence with your host,
d v Park, We hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Diva Park shares what happened to her
when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work
(32:51):
directly with people across the globe. She not only coaches
people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships
to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the
life they want. If you are ready to live the
life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at
www dotwpark dot com and you can connect with vats
(33:12):
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(00:20):
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is Beyond Confidence with your host d W Park.
Do you want to live a more fulfilling life? Do
you want to live your legacy and achieve your personal, professional,
and financial goals? Well? Coming up on Dvparks Beyond Confidence,
you will hear real stories of leaders, entrepreneurs, and achievers
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are living the life they want. You will learn how
(00:48):
relationships are the key to achieving your aspirations and financial goals.
Moving your career business forward does not have to happen
at the expense of your personal or family life or
vice versa. Learn more at www. Don't Divpark Dot com
and you can connect with div Ants Contact Dants divpark
dot com. This is beyond confidence And now here's your host,
(01:09):
div Parnk.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Good morning listener, So excited to be here with you all.
And it's Tuesday morning. Yes, and we are going to
be talking sports today like with our guests.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
So let's bring in our guests today.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Hey, good morning dar you.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Good morning low.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
So look, share with my audience if you know of
any moment or any person who left a very positive
mark on you.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Oh wow, wow a positive Uh well, it would have
to start with my parents. I was extremely lucky to
have the parents that I had and the lessons that
they taught me. And from when I was twelve years
old working in my dad's shop and I was getting
(02:03):
paid like a dollar an hour or something. Was twelve
years old, and after about a few months, he said, son,
I'm going to give you a chance to make more money.
I said, that's great. So he said, I'm going to
pay to you by the jobs that you do. And
of course he knew what was going on. I was
playing around. I was a typical twelve year old, of course,
(02:24):
So the next time I got we were supposed to
get paid I said, Dad, there's something wrong. I didn't
make as much money. And he said, well, son, that's
because you didn't work very hard and you I'm paying
you by the job, and he said, you need to
understand that you're getting paid for the value you bring
to the hour, not for just showing up. And I've
(02:44):
never forgot it.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Oh wow, what a beautiful lesson to teach a child.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yes, very lucky, and I believe it or not, Devia.
In my finance career, everybody that's hired has told that story.
You are not here just to put in an hour.
You're here to bring value to that hour.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yes, And that's the thing, right, Like, if you don't
add value, then you could work one hundred hours and
it's worthless.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
So it's important that you bring value to it.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yep, very very much.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You've had a very multi dimensional career. So tell us
as you grew up, like you know, when you were young,
what interest did you have.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Let's see, in high school I lettered in football, basketball, baseball, golf,
in tennis, so obvisually I liked sports and after that
I went into coaching at a very young age. I
was nineteen years old sophomore in college and the principal
to school where i'd gone called me and said, hey, lou,
(03:52):
we need your help. The eighth grade coach got sick
because you coach the team, and I had just finished
playing on the West Virginia freshman basketball team, and so
I was all fired up. And that started my career
in coaching for about eighteen nineteen years at every level.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Nice, so tell us, like, you know, you know every
stage is so precious and yet different.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
How did you adapt? Tell us about your journey?
Speaker 5 (04:21):
Well, I was, like I said, I was very lucky.
You started early and I got the head coaching job
at the high school. I think I was twenty years old.
I still had six months to graduate and they got
special permission. I've had so many wonderful, wonderful things. And
after spending five years as the head coach, where we
(04:44):
were very successful. We had great kids, believe me, great players.
Even though they had never won a championship, we won
two championships in five years, state championships. And then I
decided I wanted to see what college coaching was like,
and I went into small college and then my last
seven years in coaching, I was an assistant coach at
(05:05):
West Virginia University with Gail Catlett, who was the head coach,
and just I'd go back and do it again. I'd
go back again. And it wasn't about money. I had
to do all kinds of special things to make enough
money to live, and but I'd do it again. The experiences,
the things I learned were amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
You talk about success, right, you mentioned just now it was.
You know, it was so powerful that I did other
things also to make money, and I would do it again.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
In a heartbeat.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
So what was it about that coaching that kept you
wanting to come back to it.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Well, in my last book that I just published about success,
there was a study done in two thousand and four
and there was a book written from that. The book
is called Grit, and it's studied all of the factors
that motivate people everything and why people are successful in
(06:10):
what they do. And the number one factor that came
out was grit, which is passion and perseverance. And I
would agree with that. I've had passion and everything. I
went from coaching, which was my passion, and then I
went into my hobby, which was a stock market, which
you know, if you have a hobby, you love it,
and I'm still working today, it's going to be seventy seven,
(06:32):
and still look forward to coming in and working and
dealing with people and so forth. And I'm enjoying now
giving talks at high schools about success. I've been in
about six different states, from Florida to West Virginia to
Ohio to Pennsylvania to Maryland, and I just came back
(06:53):
from Las Vegas and just given talks about success. It's
my passion.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
You said about passionate perceiverance. So what were you passionate about?
What did it give it to you?
Speaker 5 (07:08):
You know what, that's an interesting story. I think it's
just a love of sports. When I first you know,
when I first started, obviously I played a lot of
sports and all the things that it taught me. And
I look back on what sports and I just think
it's one of the best things you can do with
kids is get them into sports. And I'm not saying
(07:28):
for them to be a pro player or anything like that.
I'm just saying what you learn in sports, and it
was just so easy. I loved and I'm how do
I say this, I'm very competitive. I started that way.
I mean when I was twelve years old. I wanted
to try to find a way to win a monopoly
by how you could roll the dice. I mean, I
(07:51):
just I'd love to compete, and I'm you know, very
very unusual, not to a point of doing something wrong.
I've told people there's no honor in winning if you
don't win fairly, and it really upsets me on some
of the things that I see out there today where
(08:12):
money is well, they call it the root of all evil,
and I see it everywhere in sports today. It's all
about winning at all costs. And my last book talks
about that, where it's success is more than winning. And
I don't think winning the wrong way is right. I
would rather lose in the wrong way. And you know
(08:34):
what's funny, And I think something like golf taught me
that because if anybody that plays golf, they understand it.
You don't touch the ball when you're playing in competition,
you don't do any kind of things like that. There's
an integrity there, and unfortunately in some of the sports
it's not there. And I've been around all of them,
(08:54):
and I don't like some of the things I see,
and you know, from when it's just winning, because there's
just so much money involved, And I mean we've seen
that in college recently, cheating and everything else that doesn't matter,
you know, the universities that hire the people back because
(09:17):
they want doesn't matter if they cheat it, and I
think that's repulsive.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
M Definitely, integrity is one of the key things because
at the end of the day, regardless whether you have
won or not, whatever you have done yep, and you
look at yourself, whether it's in the mirror or you know,
you're with yourself, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
What you've done.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
It's not for anybody else to see. It's for you
to have that peace of mind. And also it's there
right when you live with integrity, just the power of it.
You stand in your own truth, You stand in that
confidence that nothing else can replace it with. So what
would you say with some of the lessons that you
(09:59):
carried from the high school coaching to college coaching.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
That's a good question, obviously, the things you learn. I
was really involved with the sports psychology angle that I
got involved with at a young age. I was probably
in my late twenties or something, and I was involved
in a book called Don't Choke, where we talked about
(10:29):
how to handle pressure in sports and I even gave
talks at the PGA for a couple of years with
it about that about handling pressure, and got to meet
my idol, Arnold Palmer, at one of my talks. He
actually showed up. You talk about adding pressure when your
idol walks into room, and believe it or not, we
(10:50):
talked for an hour afterwards and he said, he told me,
he said, Lou you're right on. He said, you know,
he said, you can do more and achieve more between
how you handle the six inches between your ears, the
mental side of the game. And I've never forgot it.
And just so I understood the psychology, and I was
(11:13):
involved in a book and dealt with psychology, and I've
continued that route and all the different things you can do.
So I brought the mental side from high school to college,
where I taught the players how to relax and because
everyone gets a little excited or nervous and which is
very normal, very normal, but it's how you mentally handle it.
(11:38):
And of course from them, I was talking about mental
imagery self talk fifty years ago to my players and
now it's like a standard. You talk, You listen to
anybody and you can see them closing their eyes and
mentally getting an image of what they're about to do,
which is so important, watching how they talk to themselves.
(12:00):
And I've even one of the things I did that's
really kind of neat that I've had a lot of
fun with. It. Took me six years to write my
new book, success is more Than Winning, and I added
something because of an editor that told me, she says,
you know, I've read every success book out there. What's
going to make yours different? I mean, she hit me
(12:22):
with that the first week, I think, which was unbelievable.
And she said, I've got an idea for you, and
she said, why don't you back up your experience with research?
So in my book, I've got about eighty different research
projects summarized after I talk about the point. And I
(12:42):
learned a lot, even at my age and my experience,
from just researching success and all the different things that
are involved in it. So that's kind of what I
brought to to college. Was more than mental because back
forty fifty years ago, people weren't dealing with that very much,
(13:05):
and it was a new science, let's say so. And
I've always enjoyed it. I can watch players, like, say
someone's at the foul line, and it's really a pressure time.
I can see if they're thinking about it, which that
you shouldn't do. You're just supposed to just do what
you normally do, but the pressure makes you try to
(13:28):
put the ball in the basket instead of just shooting
the ball. And it's all how you deal with it mentally.
You've got to have a mental routine. All the top
athletes today, if you listen to them, they all have
mental routines. A lot of them have sports psychologists that
work with them. It's kind of a norm today because
they understand how important it is. And I was just
(13:50):
lucky that I was involved in it very early in
my career.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Absolutely, So you know, let's kind of take some of
those learnings to the CEOs and professionals and leaders in
the corporate industries and our entrepreneurs. So what is happening
is there's a lot of you know, turbulence kind of
going on in the industries right now because of artificial intelligence, economy,
(14:19):
whatever we want.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
To call it.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Just recently, I saw a study where they showed was
that the college.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Degree holders.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Are finding themselves unemployed in a very long time. And
also a lot of young college graduates and I'm getting jobs.
So for whatever some of the reasons, what advice would
you give them, Like, you know, what mental game that
they can play.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
Well, you're talking about something that deals with where the
jobs are. And if you look in history, jobs they've
gone different ways and AI is changed all that. There's
no question about it. I mean they're talking about it
being a revolution, just like when computers were first first
(15:09):
came out and how it destroyed some of the jobs.
And unfortunately it is destroying jobs. One of the reasons
that a lot of jobs were shipped overseas was because
they could do it cheaper. Well, now because of AI,
we are bringing jobs back to America. I mean there's
plants going up everywhere. But it's not your typical laborer
(15:32):
type job. It's someone that has experience in AI or
somebody that knows a lot about computers and how to
do that. Because for one hundred Chinese, it might only
take with AI on our side, ten people to do
the same job that one hundred Chinese can do. So
now it's it's cheaper cheaper than what they can do
(15:53):
over there because we're because of AI. So people need
to realize that I know that I have two young
sons and one runs my finance company and the other
one is going to be coming in with us in
some part here very shortly, and told them both that
(16:16):
we need to be involved in AI. And my oldest
son is very much involved and understands it, knows how
to deal with it, talking about ways to use it
in our business and so forth. So that old adage,
if you don't adapt, you die. And so you can't
sit there with a psychology degree like you know, I
(16:38):
know a lot about psychology. I spent fifteen hours starting
out to get a sports psychology degree and that might
be something. But when AI comes, a person will be
able to get all the latest stuff and so forth
on a computer on their phone, and so you've got
(16:59):
to be able to add value. As I learned, and
as a twelve year old, whatever you've got to do
to adapt today versus complaining about it and well this
is terrible, I can't know now. You have to basically
go out and adapt to whatever it is. Coaching taught
(17:20):
me that I'm so lucky to have been a coach,
because you're constantly evaluating, constantly going over and changing things.
And if you sit there and complain and wine. You're
not going to be there very long. What are you
going to do? I heard a story about this and said,
(17:41):
for people that complain and wine, this one coach. If
someone brings anything up, he said, what are you going
to do about it? That's the key. What are you
going to do about it? Not sit there and wine.
And because jobs are different, No, you may have to
go back to school, you may have to take some
night courses. That's the reality of it. And if you
(18:03):
sit there and stay unemployed because of it, it's your
own fault. I'm a big, big responsibility person. I take
total responsibility and for everything that I do, and it's
just so important of a key for success and people
in today. Because things are changing. That's what makes it
(18:25):
more difficult for young people today. And the old thing
that you used to do, it might be changed and
you might have to learn how to adapt to it.
And I'll tell you I would have a hard time
because I've got people that help me with technology. I
don't know what I'd have to do if I didn't
have help with AI and stuff like that. But I'm
just lucky I've got younger people around who are well
(18:49):
versed in it. But you've got to adapt, You've got
to take responsibility. You know. My favorite mantra when I
was a coach was, if it's to be, it's up
to me, and I would I wouldn't let anybody anything else.
It's that simple. You're not starting, you want to start,
(19:11):
then it's up to you. You got to start working
instead of leaving practice early, you know, and everybody else
is staying late and you're basically leaving. So there's just
a lot of good things out there about success that
I've learned and I failed. You know. Part of the
things people say, lou you just nothing bothers you, And
I said, no, it's because of sports. I learned how
(19:33):
to lose and learn from it and move on. I
was a big proponent of John Wooden, who was the
coach at u c l A, in fact, the winning
one of the winning as coaches ever. Uh yeah, listen
to the statistic. He won seven NCAA championships in a row.
(19:57):
And we're lucky if we get one team to win
one in a row. You know today he won seven,
and he won ten in twelve years. I visited his
practices when I was young, twenty years old, I remember
it just like yesterday. He taught me the form mindsets
that are very very important in life, and I've used
(20:17):
them for fifty years and they've taught me just so
many things. Sports can do that, and that's the most
wonderful thing any parent out there. And I'm not saying,
you know that I expect them to be a star,
but get them involved where they fail, and you watch
them and you teach them how to fail. There's nothing
(20:39):
wrong with failure, and if you learn from.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
It, that's the key. And I like what you said.
You said that if it's to be, it's up to me.
And when you're taking that ownership and so then everything right,
whether it's failure or success, they're yours to own. Where's
so many people will blame it on other people?
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Oh yeah, those the escape people. You know, the team
was better. We lost a ballgame, and I remember it
vividly because there was a really close call to the
end of the game, and of course the players coming
down all complaining about the official. Everybody just typical, and
(21:26):
I said, excuse me. I said, yes, the call may
have cost this, I said, may have cost us, But
I said, if we would have played better, it wouldn't
have been close, and so it wouldn't have been up
to this person to make a mistake if they did.
Just remember that that's our fault. We let this team
(21:47):
too close where that somebody could separate it or make
the difference that had nothing to do with the game.
And I'm just you know, I'm just such a believer
in all those kinds of things. We need to be better.
Of course, I again, John Wooden was my idol and
everything from his definition of success, which I've used. I've
(22:08):
never talked about winning ever's and his definition basically was
you know, do your best, because he said that's all
you can do. If you've done your best, that's all
you can do. And if you don't win the ultimate
what you want, then you have to know you have
to work on things. And that's what losing teaches you.
(22:28):
It just teaches you, and it gives you an opportunity
to get better.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
So you mentioned about John Wooden's for mindsets. Can you
share that with us?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Yeah? The first one which was sound as very easy
I thought it was, and it took me years to
develop it. And that is always staying in the present.
Anybody that I'm around I do not let him go
to the past or go to the future, and we
in the present at all times, because that's the only
(23:04):
way you can get better. You don't get better by
winding about the past or worrying about the past. The
past is the past. There's something you can do about it.
In the future, it's going to be whatever. So if
you stay in the present, and I'll never forget. Obviously,
I think twenty one years old, and I visited his
practice out in LA and I'm watching him talk to
(23:27):
his team, and here's what he said. I mean, I
don't have it perfect, but basically he said, Okay, I've
got you for the next two hours. I want you
to forget about your girlfriend. I want you to forget
about a test that you have tomorrow. I want you
to forget about where you're going to go right after practice.
(23:50):
I want one hundred percent concentration on the present of
the next two hours to be basketball. After practice, he
talked to him and said, Okay, practice is over, go
out and enjoy life. Go out and if you've got studying,
to do one hundred percent on your studying. So it's
(24:11):
everything you do, you do it in the present and
going along with that is also doing it to the fullest.
Do everything to the fullest, and it kind of goes
the same. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it to the fullest.
You're trying some of the other ones that learned. I
(24:34):
was coaching high school when all coaches were screamers and
yellers except John Wooden. John Wooden was very reserved, and
he said, you've got to learn to stay even keel
or you will make mistakes. And if you ever watched him,
he just sat on the bench. He didn't get excited
at all, no matter what was going on. And I
(24:56):
learned that and I was the same. I was exactly
because I was always evaluating, you know, other things. And
so it's very important to stay even kel in your
life because more mistakes are made by emotion. And so
I try to stay even keel, and I think overall
(25:18):
I've done a pretty good job. There have been a
couple of mistakes I have to admit where I didn't
stay as even keel as I wanted to be, and
but I learned from it and moved on and I've stayed.
Like I say, I just believe in that that concept.
So let's see, you've got even keel stay in the
present and do everything to the fullest. And what's the
(25:39):
fourth one? Uh oh yeah, compete against yourself. Very very important.
That's I never learned. Oh, very difficult. I never worry
about anybody but me and I, you know, and I
(25:59):
try to pray myself. I mean, I'll tell you. When
I was coaching high school, the reason we won a
couple of state championships because of besides having good players,
which I can tell you have to have, we played
better and bigger schools than us and took the chance
of losing to learn to be ready to win. In fact,
(26:21):
one of the schools we played in a game at
the WVU Coliseum before a West Virginia game, and our
school we only had a couple hundred kids in the
school we played had twenty four to twenty five hundred,
and we beat them. But we lost a couple of
games that year against very good competition. But we won
(26:45):
the first state championship in school's history because we weren't
afraid to fail. We weren't afraid to take the risk.
What is it? I love the statement. I didn't by
the way, I didn't come up with this, but I
love it. The three enemies' success are fear, risk, and failure,
and your success will be how you handle those three fear, risk,
(27:08):
and failure because all three of them, if you don't
handle them right, they will cause you not to be
as successful. And I've never been afraid to take risks
at all. I have no fear because I don't care
if I fail. And then the last failure, I've learned
(27:28):
that it's a great opportunity to learn. So I've just
had so many great experiences. You know what I told
someone the other day, you'll laugh at this. I said,
I had wonderful parents, I had a wonderful teachers, I
had great coaches and mentors. I said, I'm not so
sure I haven't done as well as I should have
(27:49):
with all the great influences that I've had. And I've
been around a lot of success, and I'm starting to
look at that. I should have done a lot more,
I think, and I've just had so many good things happen.
That's one of the reasons I'm going back to high
schools and talking to kids. And by the way, charge zero.
Sofre's anybody out there in the education system that would
(28:11):
like to have me come and talk to the kids
about success anywhere. I will go anywhere because I'm I'm
part time now and so I can I can go anywhere.
And like I said, I just came back from Vegas
and love doing it, talking to teachers, talking to parents
and the kids about success.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Absolutely, And I'm sure you know, if any of our
listeners are interested, they'll reach out to you.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
So tell us about your books. Find you.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
I've had so much fun. This was my first book.
It's called Don't Choke, and that's where I had where
it was about handling pressure and sports. I'm just probably
in my thirties when I did that, co authored that
with Mike Scott, and went around all over the United
States given talks at camps and feature speakers about about
(29:05):
pressure and what it causes. I mean, when we look
at pressure, it's amazing and stress. Stress causes seventy percent
of our illnesses, so we need to learn how to
handle it. And I learned the greatest lesson when I
was like twenty one years old. I have my master's
in speech and communication. And the doctor that was there
(29:27):
was the one I wrote the book with, and he
was teaching people how to relax and I learned how
to relax at twenty one years old, twenty two and
it's one of the best skills I've ever learned. And
because we all deal with stress, we all have to
handle it. And I was very lucky to be involved
in that. And then this book that just came out
(29:49):
a few months ago. Success is more than winning. It's
where I use all of my experience, all the research
that I've studied to talk about success. And like I say,
I'm going around giving talks to high schools and just
having having a ball, just having so much fun. And
(30:13):
my objective is to motivate at least one person.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
I'm sure you're motivated more than one person.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Loop you know.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
And what's your website? Where can we reach you?
Speaker 5 (30:25):
Yes, Yes, you can Succeed dot Org is the and
you know, and the book you can get is on Amazon.
In fact, it's the best seller on Amazon. I've been told.
I don't know what that means other than having a
certain amount of time and but Amazon. And then I
(30:45):
also have a workbook that I just finished and it's
on one of the most important things that I believe
in success. It's on goal planning. I have had goals
for fifty years, I write them down and research proves
how important that is. I show people how to do
a vision board, and I've got in my workbook you
(31:08):
can do a vision board. And then the number one
planning tool for the last hundred years is box planning.
And that's just basically planning every hour of the day.
And I've done those three things my whole life, and
there's no question it's led to whatever I've succeeded in.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
And that's hard, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.
What if any last thoughts might you have for our audience.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Last, the thing that I would say, because of knowing
how a lot of people are, is take risks, don't
be afraid to fail, and remember if it's to be,
it's up to you.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Absolutely. Thank you so much Louke for joining us. It
was a pleasure talking to you same here.
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Thank you very much for the opportunity.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Absolutely, thank you wonderful audience for being part of the show.
Please reach out to us, let us know how we
can support you and service so that you can live
the life you deserve. And thank you one I Tech
Visits for making the show technically possible. Bell see you
(32:28):
next time.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Thank you for being part of Beyond Confidence with your host,
d v Park, We hope you have learned more about
how to start living the life you want. Each week
on Beyond Confidence, you hear stories of real people who've
experienced growth by overcoming their fears and building meaningful relationships.
During Beyond Confidence, Diva Park shares what happened to her
when she stepped out of her comfort zone to work
(32:51):
directly with people across the globe. She not only coaches
people how to form hard connections, but also transform relationships
to mutually beneficial partnerships as they strive to live the
life they want. If you are ready to live the
life you want and leverage your strengths, learn more at
www dotwpark dot com and you can connect with vats
(33:12):
contact at dvpark dot com. We look forward to you
joining us next week.
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