January 5, 2026 • 41 mins
Matina Singh shares her powerful journey of transformation from living by external expectations to embracing self-awareness, emotional healing, and the Soul-Seen Method. Together, we explore how emotions shape our lives, the courage to release old patterns, and the path to authentic relationships rooted in clarity, love, and presence.www.matinasingh.com
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Inspire Vision Podcast is broadcast on K4HD Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Inspire Vision Podcast TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Inspire Vision Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This program is designed to provide general information with regards
to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,
professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services
(00:23):
of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
At the end of the day, it's not about what
you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what
you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,
who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.
Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is
to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you
(00:51):
to do the same.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Mattina, welcome to the show.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Oh thank you for having me, Doctor Dick. It's absolutely
a pleasure of sharing this conversation is face with you.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Well, I'm excited. So where are you living now?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I am in Canada near Toronto.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Oh really, okay, cool? Cool, I'm going international.
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Well, and I'm in time. Yeah, I'm in Thailand. So
it's six point thirty in the morning or no, what
is it eight forty in the morning for you, yes,
and seven forty in the evening for me.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Completely different time zones. You've already lived today.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I know, I know I have.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
So I know you have an interesting story and a
lot of what you're doing now it appears as a
result of some of the discoveries that you made personally
with what you've gone through. So I'd love for you
to share with the audience kind of who you are
and what's what's the motivation and what's the story behind Mattina.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Singh oh wow, I love that question. Thank you for asking.
We were telling a story because we can relate to
stories as human beings. Okay, so for me, I remember
this day as it was yesterday, where you're sitting in silence,
and I was literally in the dark in my living room,
sitting on the couch, absolutely nothing on, and the silent
(02:17):
tears were rolling down my eyes. But my mind couldn't
comprehend why that was happening. I was safe, my children
are safe, we were happy, we were building a life
that you wanted. I was having the peace that I desired.
And why am I still crying? What is still that
missing piece that my heart is craving right now. And
so many times we have these silent moments, these whispers
(02:41):
in our lives that whatever reason, we don't give the
attention in time to But in that moment, I could
not ignore it anymore. I needed to lean in. I
need to understand what was inside of me that I
had not birth it yet, that I was living someone
else's agenda almost I'm trying to be the best mother
(03:01):
and the best employee, but who am I truly? So
that journey of me discovering who I am has led
me to do the amazing things that I do right now.
But it didn't come from day one to day too.
It literally took me to understand myself, invest heavily in myself,
and really get to a point where I'm like, wow,
(03:24):
all of this was living inside of me, and I
was breathing through every day. I was carrying that heavy
backpack every day without realization, without even thinking that there's
a possibility for me to put that down. So as
I put it down, and as I have been blessed
to help people understand their own emotion, understand their own
(03:46):
ability to stand up and show up for themselves. Now
the game has changed. Now I have chang. I'm not
the same person I was ten years ago when I
was sitting in that living room. I'm a completely different
woman because I'm owning myself more, embodying a part of
myself that I hadn't embodied at that time. It's about
an embodiment practice that I help my clients, mostly women,
(04:09):
but also sometimes men and children get to so that
they can really live their lives on this wholeness that
they already embody.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
What do you think is?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
I mean?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
For you, what was the cause of that?
Speaker 5 (04:25):
And for the women that you work with, what seems
to be the major cause and reason why they're going
through those type of experiences that they need your help.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
For me, it was divorced, and I'm going to say
divorce is just this little tag that we have created,
but is beyond that. It's that emotion where I personally
was living avoid I was making sure and this is
what I was taught as a little girl, right, make
sure you have a good education, get a good job,
find you a good partner, get children, get a house,
(04:57):
have the cars, have the vacations. Now, oh, your magic
box is complete. There's nothing else you could ever desire
because you have it all, but these are all external things.
So for me, filling all of these boxes trying to
be this perfect person, but having this void inside of
me was literally because I was filling it with all
(05:18):
external things without any comprehension of my internal mind map.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
So the cause wasn't the divorce, but the awareness that
came probably sounds like it was because of the divorce.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
And it's very interesting how women work.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Okay, please explain, I'd love to know.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
When I look at my own marriage, I knew really
early on it wasn't what I really wanted, but I
kept doing the things. I kept putting a smile on
my face, I kept showing up, I kept doing what
I thought was the right thing. Not until a year
and a half later, after me stepping out of that marriage,
(06:07):
did I have enough clarity to understand that I was
fulfilling external things, but I was leaving myself empty. As
a woman, we're taught literally taught to make sure the
house is in order, work is in order, children are
in order, so we are very pushed outside of our
own internal frame and making sure everyone else is taken
(06:31):
care of. Everything else is taken care of, and then
when you have the time, go attend to yourself. But
what do we do as women? Then we go for
the haircut, we go for the spoty, we go for vacation.
We numb our mind so that we can tell ourselves
that we have it all.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
So what's really happening, if I'm hearing you right, is
that that we're.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Really and we're all doing this.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
We all to some degree, are living lives that are
expected of as that have been told we have to be.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
We're kind of impostors, aren't we. Yes, we're living as
impostors in our life. It's interesting.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I do a behavioral analysis, and as I was working
to get the program that I wanted to use, one
of the main focuses that I wanted was that because
most most personality test, behavioral analyzes give you just one answer, right,
And I'm looking at that and going wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute, because I had been involved in something
previously where we looked at what's that innate personality, what's
(07:35):
the social personality what you should be, and is that
how you're acting? And then what's your conscious one? And
it's amazing to me that most people live in that
social personality, they're literally living the lives that they think.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Are expected of them, rather being than being true to themselves.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
But even that comes from this very innate need of belonging.
And I learned this from Tony Robbins. We have two
needs as human beings. One is a sense of safety
and the other one is in need for belonging. Because
we want to belong to our family, to our friends,
to our partner, to our children. We will go to
detriment of ourselves to make sure we have this false
(08:19):
sense of belonging.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
So how on earth do we come out?
Speaker 5 (08:24):
I know you you've got the phrase soul scene method,
and so I know you're going to get into the
whole con concept of the soul and that inner life.
So how does someone break away? Because quite frankly, you know,
I think most people in their thirty forties, fifties, sixties,
(08:45):
all of a sudden, you know, like you did, all
of a sudden, have that one moment of clarity and awareness,
and then it becomes a year's process of process of
transformation and so forth. But how do people overcome that
earlier so that they don't go through all of this stuff?
Speaker 4 (09:02):
What I love for what is happening right now is
when you're all being all to listen. And listening is
not in the sense of listen to the Prime Minister
or the president, or this or the the other. It
is literally listened to that silent voice inside of yourself.
We're seeing a rise in breath work, in meditation, in yoga,
(09:25):
and all of these spiritual practices that allow you to
find the stillness within. And as I've heard on your
podcast earlier as well, like stillness is doesn't mean or
meditation doesn't mean we're gonna sit still, We're gonna be
like quiet. No, finally, your thoughts gonna be like, oh, yes,
now we at the time to make her aware or
make him aware of all the things that we have
(09:48):
been thinking. And we know by research already that eighty
percent minimum eighty percent what our mind thinks is negative
is fear based. That very little twenty percent that is
positive or that could be evoking you to try something new,
do something better, show up in at an event alone.
There are very little people who would have the courage
(10:11):
to show up at an event alone. They want to belong.
You don't want to be that little person on the side,
like I don't know if I can't talk with this,
but no, so put yourself in places where you're like, think,
I like this, right, so try it out.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
So how do people you know, it's interesting, you know
a lot of people come up from different religions, some
come up with no religion in their lives.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
You know, you talk.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
About that soul within, you talk about the light within.
Some of that can be theological in nature. For others
it's becoming more and more non theological.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
But it's just this spirit or whatever, this inside of us.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
How do people start to realize that they are living
a life that isn't theirs? And how do they start?
In your opinion, and how did you find that spirit
within you, that light within you that allowed you to
truly become.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
I've never done becoming, and that is a misconception that
I find here so often, Like tend this event and
you'll become and you'll be. Like being means that being
fully present in THEMO. I tell you, doctor Duk, I've
never been able to be as present as I have
(11:29):
been in the last few years. Am I perfect? Helmo?
There are many moments where I go stop conscious in
my hold on this is what we sign up for,
stop us us feeling too, and now go from it.
The sole scene method that you lightly pushed upon is
for me, it is really allowing the person to stop
(11:50):
and reflect. When we can disconnect from our pain, from
our stories, from our perspectives that we have believed to
be the ultimate truth, and we allow ourselves to see
a slightly different perspective, only then can we change. But
this is all logical, right, The work that I do
with my clients is not logical. It is emotional.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
So so I have a question for you, and again
it's a personal one, so you can say no if
you don't want to answer this. But and hey, I've
experienced this too, so I'm the first one to say
I've experienced this. So when you got married, you mentioned
that you know almost from the beginning that really wasn't.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Right, but you did it because that's what you're supposed
to do. What is it?
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Because we have such a high divorce rate, and I
know that people experience the same thing. For me, I
realized that I was kind of marrying my mother and
guess what, that's not who I should be married to.
And we tend to put that energy out that attracts
those people, and yet that energy that we're putting out
(12:55):
is a false energy, isn't it? Because it's something that
was embedded within us by external verses.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
So what is false? I heard this beautiful story right,
and I'm gonna answer the personal question. I have no
problems hearing this. I heard this beautiful story where a
man was has his son, and his son was playing
in the field on the farm and he broke his leg,
and his neighbor came by and said, oh, I'm so
sorry your son broke his leg. It's so horrible what
(13:24):
happened to him, And the neighbors like, you know what,
it just is? This is what do you mean by that? No,
it just is. This is what it is. There's nothing wrong,
there's nothing good. It is just what it is. And
he lived by this mind frame. Nothing is good, nothing
is bad. It just is.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
So.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Then two or three weeks later, the army they were
searching men for army, and they could not take him
because he had broken black. The same neighbor comes by again, Oh,
how good that your son couldn't go. He doesn't have
to do this and all that. Again, the same answer,
It just is, we will never know the bigger picture,
just as I did not know my bigger pick. I
(14:03):
come from an Indian family, from a sick religion, and
I was really brought up in a very strict way.
Even though I grew up in Europe, I was very
brought up in a strict way, as in, meet to
marry in a sick boy. This is going to be forever.
This is it. There's no other option than this is it.
And as I got to know my then husband, I
(14:26):
was coming from a mind frame like, oh my god,
this guy likes me. This is it. I've made it
in life. This person likes me. I'm actually being seen
and I'm allowed to be seen now. But this is it.
I cannot think any other way. I should absolutely flow
with this, because there's manager interesting. So that on its
(14:47):
own is a very wrong perspective to come from and
start a marriage from now. Throughout this experience of my marriage, yes,
there was something inside of me that was telling me
and I was numby in that voice because I was
brought up with these Now, I believe that my soul
chose to come into this family, into this specific religion,
(15:09):
into the specific experience of life, to grow into the
woman that I am today. So there's nothing wrong with
him with that experience, with all of that, that hardship
that I went through because I was meant to go
through it so my soul could have this evolution is lifetime.
That's what I choose to believe.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Okay, And I love that because I believe that too.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
And you know, I think it's so interesting that as
we as we go through those experiences, you know, so
many people become victims because it's like, oh, this happened
to me, This happened to me, rather than looking at
each incident that occurs in our lives, which we could
look at from a negative perspective and realize that, you
(15:51):
know what, with a little bit of gratitude and thought,
we could realize and maybe it takes us a few
years to look back, but realize that you, you know what,
because of this experience, this is who I am today.
And for you, because of those experiences. Look at the
difference that you're making for these women that are coming
to you, and you could have never done that probably
(16:14):
if you had not had those experiences. And I think
that's the case for all of us, is that when
we get to a certain point where we're really making
a difference, and as you said, it never ends. That
personal becoming. When I said become, I didn't mean that's
an endpoint. It's something that we constantly do. I mean
I meditate practically every day and part of that meditation
(16:37):
is seeking to become more and more and it never
ends because I never quite reach it, because I realized that,
you know what, this is a journey that we go
on and ultimately, but as you say, who we are
becoming is a result of what family we were born into,
where we were born, the experiences that we have, and
(16:58):
if we can look at that from a standpoint of
gratitude and insight rather than the other way around, I
think it makes such a difference.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
It totally does. But I was not the person at
that time. When I went through the divorce, it was
all about why is this happening to me? What did
I do wrong? Why is God punishing me all of
those things I've said? And in that moment, this is
why I love. When I'm helping my clients now and
they're like, how can you not be angry at him,
(17:27):
I'm like, and drink the poison myself every day. No,
thank you. I don't agree with the father of my children,
and that is my right. I can have a certain
amount of feeling towards the experiences that I've had emotional abuse,
financial like, whatever it was, and I can label it, right,
(17:49):
but the label is not the solution. The label is
just the human mind explanation of the experience. But my
emotion was completely different. Now. Even this morning, I was
doing this beautiful meditation where I was guided to send
blessings to people, and I'm sharing this not out of ego.
(18:10):
I'm sharing this out of insight right now with you,
where it's like I'm I was literally sharing and sending
love to the father of my children based on the
part of him that feels unloved. All of us have
part of ours in ourselves that feel unloved. So the
(18:32):
sole scene means that you're, oh, you are saying yes
to seeing those parts of yourself that are feeling unloved.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
Okay, And as we feel that, and I think you
hit on this, as we feel that in love and
to some degree I think it's ego, we will make
decisions to feel loved that may not be in our
best interest. Absolutely, how do you overcome that? Okay?
Speaker 4 (18:59):
So it was a time earlier this year where I
felt fadly anxious, and that was an emotion and a
snapshot of my life. And in my anxiety, I chose
to go outside for a walk and I was searching,
I don't want to listen to a meditation. I just
want to talk and listen to something that's talking towards
(19:20):
my anxiety right now. And I call it. I was
literally searching emotional pep talk. I need an emotional pep talk,
like I need to talk to my emotion right now,
and I couldn't find it. And I looked up in
anger while the tears are rolling down my eyes, and
I looked up like, even in my misery, you giving
me ideas, This is not fair. And it was just
(19:42):
so perfect because it allowed me to see that as
human beings, we are driven by our emotion, not by
logic our emotion. So when we sit down and we
understand that our emotions are literally an emotion that's full
going through us, that wants and desires our attention right now.
(20:05):
So if you feel worried, and there is a reason
why you're feeling worried, but instead of sitting in that
story of the worry, did in that vibration of the worry,
how does the worry make me feel right? Now? Where
does my body feel heavy right? What are the thoughts
that are coming up that are making me go? Look, no,
(20:26):
I don't want to hear us, don't want to feel us,
because that awareness is the key to allowing it to
move out of you. But what do we do as
human beings? We suppress? We pretend, we put up a
bright face and show up with a bike, smile and
like I'm happy, I am good. Look at me now, okay?
(20:47):
Can I also see the part of you that is vulnerable?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
That?
Speaker 4 (20:50):
That's why I do my own podcast as well, where
I'm sharing my day to day life, where I'm sharing
my own struggles. I am even though I will will
help you move your shadows, move out and see your shadows,
move out your shadows and move out with clarity. It
is required for you to feel empowered in that exercise
(21:15):
and that you can be like, oh, I can do
this on my own. None of my clients will ever
tell you that they're dependent on me. That's not how
I work, and as I prove personally, don't believe any
coach out there should work that way.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
No, it is, yeah, isn't it interesting?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
You know?
Speaker 3 (21:31):
As we talk about emotions and as you talk about frequency.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
And you know what I tell people often is, and
I did this, particularly when I was working with businesses,
look at your outcome right now, and tell me what
it is that you really want, which is different. And
once they say that, I'll go okay, So I just
want you to take one step back and tell me
(21:56):
what would have to happen, just one step back in order.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
For that to be achieved.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
Okay, all right, what would have to happen one step
before that to have that last step happen? And so
on and so on and so on until we get
back to the point where it's the beginning, and it
goes to the emotions, and it goes to the frequency.
And what I find interesting is, and I don't know
if people really understand this, that those emotions create a
(22:23):
frequency that if we suppress them, it actually becomes stronger
and we end up attracting the very.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Things that we don't want to attract, and.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Our body will do as a service by stopping us,
by creating a disease. Now, this is very wrong to say.
A lot of people can be like, what do you mean,
I cause this listen, I'm not saying you cause it consciously,
Just saying that your body loves you enough make you
stop and assess what is really truly turning inside of
(22:58):
you right now.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
Well, as you're working with people, do you find that
most of them have had some type of moment of
clarity like you did as you were sitting there in
that room dark and look at most people have some
type of moment of clarity in order for them to
start really having the courage and the desire to do
that in our work.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
And then they stop themselves because they're afraid.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
And fear is false evidence of pairing real because what
do we know? We know what we have created in
our lives, the way we live our lives, the family
we have, the people we have around us, and we
are afraid that everything will fall away. Now, in reality,
it will because you are changing your frequency. And as
(23:46):
you change your frequency, the people who are not ready
to embrace that frequency will make their way out of it.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Well, and I love how you talk about suppressing your
emotion and you know, and there's such a.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Variety of emotions.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
I know that my children's mother passed away last week,
and as I was talking to son number two, he
says Dad.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
He says, I was just sitting.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Working out at the gym and I started crying, and
he says, you know, it's I'm so grateful that I
can not suppress my emotions but actually experience those at
the given moment. And I said, you know what, that's
a blessing that a lot of people don't have in
their lives, you know. And there's the emotion of the
(24:32):
sadness and loss and so forth. But with all of
the emotions that are there, what do you find as people?
And we'll get into meditation a little bit more, but
as people will go into that process of what we
refer to as meditation and start to experience those emotions
coming up and recognizing that these are not the emotions
that I want to experience in my life, how do
(24:56):
they ultimately allow that to come up and remove it.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
And change it into something different.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
First of all, my condolences is grief is always a
very heavy topic. It is something that goes beyond logic.
We can go fine for a week and then have
a very heavy week after. I find even though even
though I haven't experienced grief very personally close upon myself yet,
(25:25):
I know I will at one point I don't haven't yet.
From a logical perspective, I can say the soul always
lives on, always in and around our energetic field, as
a spirit that will guide us, support us beyond the
logic of our mind. Having said that, I actually became
(25:46):
an emotion called practitioner just because I want to understand
emotion more. And this is work that was created by
doctor Bradley Nelson, And in his book he actually explains
step by step how you can move those emotions out
of you. And it doesn't require you to tell yourself
the story again, it only requires you to identify what
(26:07):
emotions stuck in your body. If you want to know
what age you got stuck, you can ask that question
and you can move it out of yourself by yourself
through literally a hand palm and go with from the
top of your head all around until the bottom of
your neck if you will back. But what happens is
(26:28):
wed out. I did the same. When I did the
work for the first time, I'm like, yeah, I felt something,
but it's okay, it's ever it's second time, this ancestral one,
I felt spirits all around me, and I'm like, okay,
I believe you. I hear you, thank you going up
because I don't know what to do with this, and
(26:50):
it became my trigger, like hold on. If I am
able to do this work for my children, for my clients,
for myself, or my family, for my friends, then I
can go beyond the logical mind. See, by the time
that episode is going to live, I will have my
pep talks out there that will work with your logical mind,
(27:13):
that will give you empowered questions that will allow you
to feel the emotion. And at the end, with the
work and the gifts that I have received through my intuition,
I will be able to move them out of your energy.
So if you feel like, Okay, I'm having this specific emotion,
come up, look up. If that emotion pep talk is
(27:33):
there out there yet. If not, send me a message
in the DM on Instagram or any other platform and
I will response. I will create that for you because
I truly feel there's a power in sitting in that emotion.
We can all want to through meditation, through the logical
work that we do, move that emotion out. It's uncomfortable.
(27:56):
I don't want to feel it, I don't want to
see it.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Let it go.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Let it go. Let it go. But the gift that
emotion is coming up is has a message for you.
So let's sit with this emotion so the message can
come through and now from a deeper level of yourself
can let it go. The top to time, this is
a hard.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Part, well it is.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
And you know when you were talking about these emotions
come up and have you know, one of the one
of the sayings that I love is that was we
resist persists. And you know, if we continually fight those
emotions and keep pushing them back down because we don't
want to experience them, they continue. And and like you say,
(28:37):
and I love when you talk about pep talk. And
what I find interesting is you know, for me meditation,
I'm from time to time I come up with these
affirmations I will say or pep talk and try to
make sure that they're ones that are believable obviously, But
what I know is that literally changes your brain. It
(28:59):
changes your neural pathways, and you're able to literally, at
some point in time change those neural pathways of negative
emotions the positive ones. Because you're using as you refer
to as which I think you're referring to as pep talk.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
So for me, pep talk is not. The difference that
I find with pep talk and meditation is meditation is
about dealing the mind and allowing that emotion to go out.
But what happens often is after the meditation you're good
for a day and then you're like, oh, it's back again.
It didn't work. That's because your mind is not believing
(29:36):
what you experience. To help your mind believe what you
experience is to give your mind better questions. So the
pep talk is literally about let's identify your emotion. Let's
ask better questions to this emotion. If you feel compelled
to journal about a journal about it. If you don't
like journaling, record your voice, stay out loud all the thoughts,
(29:57):
all the things, all the answers that you are feeling.
Now you have given it voice, either through your hand
or through your own voice. And now that you have
created and gave yourself a gift of clarity, now we
can step into the latter part, which is actually the
medication parts, into the release.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Well, and as you talk about I am not a
good journal or I hate journaling, but what I have
discovered and I love what you just said there, you know,
I happen to be a Mac user. So I use
Pages and I discovered on Pages, and I think this
works for Microsoft Word too, that you have a recording
capability where it will hear your voice and it will
(30:37):
type up what you're saying. And therefore, not only are
you able to say it, because I used to say
it and then I couldn't remember what I said, But
this way saying it is a way to develop that
journaling because now you have it in written form.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Yes, and it's all today with AI. There's so many
tools out there. I go beyond Microsoft or Apple, and
you can utilize all of these tools to help you
get into that. See. Honestly, what I would do sometimes
is I will just hit record on my phone and
I will just allow all the things that want to
(31:13):
come out in a moment to come out. If I
feel inspired, I will go back again and listen to it,
or I will transcribe and read through it. But the
energy was not required for you to that, I'll go
back to read it. Is the energy it required for
you to release it.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
So here's the question that we talked about before we
actually started recording.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
As I mentioned to you, I have some people that.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
I've interviewed, and one of their main focuses on their
podcast is working with men that are really struggling with women,
and they're in their fifties and forties, fifties and sixties.
And as you're helping these women to really come to
themselves and to be free, do you find that that
(31:57):
affects that desire for a relationship with someone else or
do you find that all of a sudden they become
so independent with the women's movement and so forth, and
men have their own problems which would be interesting to
talk about, but do you find that.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
That's part of the challenger.
Speaker 5 (32:15):
How do you help your clients to truly reach a
point of independence and self love and clarity, mindfulness, all
of that, and still want to be part of a
relationship that can be wonderful, joyous, full of true love.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
I love this question. For men, what they've been taught
from generations ages ago is they're hunters, their providers. For
women they're nurturers. So if a man's need is to provide,
they need someone to provide too, And if a woman's
need is to nurture, they need someone to nursere Now,
(32:58):
what has happened with all of these moves, and of
course there are extremes always out there. They're always extremes
like no, I can do it on my own. I'm
do it on my own, am Mind you, I've been
on myself by myself for ten years now. It's not
the lack of desire of a relationship. It is the
lack of clarity that keeps the men and the women
(33:20):
away from the So a practice that I do for
myself is I you know, this is so beautiful. There's
so many things out there that will tell you the
specific what types of men are you calling in? What
does this person look like? What is what are they doing?
And all of those things. These are all external things.
The way that my mentor taught me is like, write
(33:41):
down how you want to deal with how does this
man or woman make you feel on a day to
day basis, so that you know what frequency, what energy
you are calling in. When there's a disagreement, how do
you both work through that? And when you have a
clarity in that regard, you can create a unit, a partnership,
(34:05):
a companionship that goes beyond logic. The sad part now is, though,
when we decide to go back to a relationship. We
are unclear about what we're really truly calling in because
you can have the perfect looking man or the perfect
looking woman in front of you and you can still
say no because there's not this emotion that was evoked
(34:27):
in you that you're looking for. And I'm not calling
about talking about lust or talking about infactuation. That's different, right,
There's enough of that in the world either way. I'm
talking literally about the soul to soul connection that you think.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
I know.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
I know, I know that my man is out there
and he knows that I'm out here. Whenever we will meet,
because we will meet, that unit is going to create
an experience that my children, myself himself have desired beyond logic.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
Well, and as you as you look for that man
that's going to be supportive and as he's looking for
that woman that's going.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
To be nurturing.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Do you find that as you're working with women oftentimes
they lose that nurturing or if you're working with men,
they tend to be patriarchal rather than supportive. And I
think there's a big difference between.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
That and totally totally yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
So do you find that that's that's.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
Another challenge that people have is that, you know, the
men want that nurturing and the women want that support,
but somewhere along the line, it's not existing in who
they are.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
For men to come to a relationship where they will
allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to really truly allow
a healthy, nurturing woman in, it requires for them to
feel good about themselves, to feel good with where they
are financial and chilly. Or a woman it requires such
(36:03):
a fool good about herself and to feel good about
how someone else is making them feel. The mismatch happens
when we go in extremes. I want a woman who's independent,
who's also very much like taking care of the home,
taking care of this, taking care of me, taking care
of all of the things that I want her to
(36:24):
take care of. That's patriarchy. Yes, a woman in her
extreme is like, I'm going to showcase to the world
that I'm so independent. I can have kids on my own,
I can live my life on my own, I can
create a career for myself. Deep down inside, I desire
a man, but I can't tell myself I desire a man.
So therefore I'm going to find quick fixes. Blings situationships
(36:47):
to make myself be like, oh you see, I'm still wanted,
I'm still desired, or that's not what I'm seeking. So
when we come from this energy of filling a gap
in our lives that isn't already failed by yourselves, by awareness,
by love, by understanding, you're going to come from this extreme.
(37:10):
A healthy relationship, in my books, is a man who
is in his divine feminine and divine masculine. He will
always be more masculine and feminine because his desire just
because he came and birth as a man, is to provide,
say for a woman. Our desire is to nurture. In
my past relationships, even as a child, I always came
(37:33):
to a relationship as a fixer. I will fix this,
I will help you fix this, and I can feel
good about myself. Well, what happens if Matina doesn't have
to fix there's a void? What do I do? Then?
Who do I be? Then? How can I add value
to you if I don't have to fix you? Well,
I add value by just being me. My person will
add value by just being.
Speaker 5 (37:53):
Him and having that supportive attitude and that nurturing attitude.
And it's interesting as you can get that emotional agreement
and connection going, It changes a whole relationship.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
This is so beautiful because so often women be like, oh,
I pay for my own days, right, But now you
have robbed a man, a healthy man, from the ability
to provide. Even when you are in a relationship with
a person and everything is going good, you are being nurtured,
you are nurturing, you're being supportive, you're supporting, you are
(38:26):
being seen, you are being providing. All of those things together,
there is a give and take because none of us
are going to be one hundred percent every day. And
Brenee Brown always talks about this, like when she comes
home she talks to a progner, I'm like, I'm seventy percent.
Oh it's okay, I'm one hundred percent today. I will
make up for the I'll make up. I'll be there.
(38:49):
And when they both come from an energy of okay,
I'm four fifty to fifty or I'm forty forty, that
doesn't equal the hundred. So what do we do now?
We need to come to an agreement. Let's give me
some each other's space. Let's give each other the energy
and the requirement that we have. We just want to
be held. Yeah, that's enough to calm the nervous system
(39:11):
down for a woman. When the man wants to be
providing for a specific thing for you, just allow You
don't have to showcase to him that you can do
it yourself all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Great, talk about.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
Something you want and it will be fulfilled by this.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
And I think that's such a great insight that you
have on that. You know, I think if people would
listen to that alone, it would make such a difference
in relationships.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
And this requires those self awareness from both ends.
Speaker 5 (39:39):
Yes, oh absolutely, not only self awareness, but humility and
encourage and putting that ego aside. And you know, there's
some great books out there about ego and putting that
ego aside. And when we can do that and reach
that point, all of a sudden things come together and
guess what, we're out of time. Conversation though, I love
(40:04):
so as we finished Number one, how do people find you?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
They can find me on my website matinasing dot com
or on any social Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and it's
always a thing or sigmautina.
Speaker 5 (40:16):
Okay, and you said that something's coming up that you're
working on right now.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
By the time this episode will be released, it will
be out there. I will have my pep talks for
specific emotions out there. You can get one specific emotion
meditation med I'm saying meditation. It's not meditation, it's a
pep talk. Or you can get a bundle to really
allow yourself to.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Feel okay, great. And as a final message for the audience,
what would that be.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
As emotional beings, you will always, always, always be driven
by emotion. It is about you taking time to understand
which emotion is driving you, receive the message of that emotion,
and allow the emotion to move through you because it
was never meant to be back in the first Please
understand yourself, love yourself, give yourself the freedom so that
(41:04):
tomorrow is a grand new day and with the presence
and clarity you can create a better tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (41:11):
Wonderful Medina, Thank you so much. This has been a
wonderful conversation.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
Thank you, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
You've met folks, thanks for listening. Hope you've enjoyed it.
Hope you'll join us again soon. This is doctor Doug
saying no mistay
This program is designed to provide general information with regards
to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,
professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services
(00:23):
of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
At the end of the day, it's not about what
you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what
you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,
who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.
Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is
to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you
(00:51):
to do the same.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Mattina, welcome to the show.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Oh thank you for having me, Doctor Dick. It's absolutely
a pleasure of sharing this conversation is face with you.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Well, I'm excited. So where are you living now?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I am in Canada near Toronto.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Oh really, okay, cool? Cool, I'm going international.
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Well, and I'm in time. Yeah, I'm in Thailand. So
it's six point thirty in the morning or no, what
is it eight forty in the morning for you, yes,
and seven forty in the evening for me.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Completely different time zones. You've already lived today.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I know, I know I have.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
So I know you have an interesting story and a
lot of what you're doing now it appears as a
result of some of the discoveries that you made personally
with what you've gone through. So I'd love for you
to share with the audience kind of who you are
and what's what's the motivation and what's the story behind Mattina.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Singh oh wow, I love that question. Thank you for asking.
We were telling a story because we can relate to
stories as human beings. Okay, so for me, I remember
this day as it was yesterday, where you're sitting in silence,
and I was literally in the dark in my living room,
sitting on the couch, absolutely nothing on, and the silent
(02:17):
tears were rolling down my eyes. But my mind couldn't
comprehend why that was happening. I was safe, my children
are safe, we were happy, we were building a life
that you wanted. I was having the peace that I desired.
And why am I still crying? What is still that
missing piece that my heart is craving right now. And
so many times we have these silent moments, these whispers
(02:41):
in our lives that whatever reason, we don't give the
attention in time to But in that moment, I could
not ignore it anymore. I needed to lean in. I
need to understand what was inside of me that I
had not birth it yet, that I was living someone
else's agenda almost I'm trying to be the best mother
(03:01):
and the best employee, but who am I truly? So
that journey of me discovering who I am has led
me to do the amazing things that I do right now.
But it didn't come from day one to day too.
It literally took me to understand myself, invest heavily in myself,
and really get to a point where I'm like, wow,
(03:24):
all of this was living inside of me, and I
was breathing through every day. I was carrying that heavy
backpack every day without realization, without even thinking that there's
a possibility for me to put that down. So as
I put it down, and as I have been blessed
to help people understand their own emotion, understand their own
(03:46):
ability to stand up and show up for themselves. Now
the game has changed. Now I have chang. I'm not
the same person I was ten years ago when I
was sitting in that living room. I'm a completely different
woman because I'm owning myself more, embodying a part of
myself that I hadn't embodied at that time. It's about
an embodiment practice that I help my clients, mostly women,
(04:09):
but also sometimes men and children get to so that
they can really live their lives on this wholeness that
they already embody.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
What do you think is?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
I mean?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
For you, what was the cause of that?
Speaker 5 (04:25):
And for the women that you work with, what seems
to be the major cause and reason why they're going
through those type of experiences that they need your help.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
For me, it was divorced, and I'm going to say
divorce is just this little tag that we have created,
but is beyond that. It's that emotion where I personally
was living avoid I was making sure and this is
what I was taught as a little girl, right, make
sure you have a good education, get a good job,
find you a good partner, get children, get a house,
(04:57):
have the cars, have the vacations. Now, oh, your magic
box is complete. There's nothing else you could ever desire
because you have it all, but these are all external things.
So for me, filling all of these boxes trying to
be this perfect person, but having this void inside of
me was literally because I was filling it with all
(05:18):
external things without any comprehension of my internal mind map.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
So the cause wasn't the divorce, but the awareness that
came probably sounds like it was because of the divorce.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
And it's very interesting how women work.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Okay, please explain, I'd love to know.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
When I look at my own marriage, I knew really
early on it wasn't what I really wanted, but I
kept doing the things. I kept putting a smile on
my face, I kept showing up, I kept doing what
I thought was the right thing. Not until a year
and a half later, after me stepping out of that marriage,
(06:07):
did I have enough clarity to understand that I was
fulfilling external things, but I was leaving myself empty. As
a woman, we're taught literally taught to make sure the
house is in order, work is in order, children are
in order, so we are very pushed outside of our
own internal frame and making sure everyone else is taken
(06:31):
care of. Everything else is taken care of, and then
when you have the time, go attend to yourself. But
what do we do as women? Then we go for
the haircut, we go for the spoty, we go for vacation.
We numb our mind so that we can tell ourselves
that we have it all.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
So what's really happening, if I'm hearing you right, is
that that we're.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Really and we're all doing this.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
We all to some degree, are living lives that are
expected of as that have been told we have to be.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
We're kind of impostors, aren't we. Yes, we're living as
impostors in our life. It's interesting.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I do a behavioral analysis, and as I was working
to get the program that I wanted to use, one
of the main focuses that I wanted was that because
most most personality test, behavioral analyzes give you just one answer, right,
And I'm looking at that and going wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute, because I had been involved in something
previously where we looked at what's that innate personality, what's
(07:35):
the social personality what you should be, and is that
how you're acting? And then what's your conscious one? And
it's amazing to me that most people live in that
social personality, they're literally living the lives that they think.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Are expected of them, rather being than being true to themselves.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
But even that comes from this very innate need of belonging.
And I learned this from Tony Robbins. We have two
needs as human beings. One is a sense of safety
and the other one is in need for belonging. Because
we want to belong to our family, to our friends,
to our partner, to our children. We will go to
detriment of ourselves to make sure we have this false
(08:19):
sense of belonging.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
So how on earth do we come out?
Speaker 5 (08:24):
I know you you've got the phrase soul scene method,
and so I know you're going to get into the
whole con concept of the soul and that inner life.
So how does someone break away? Because quite frankly, you know,
I think most people in their thirty forties, fifties, sixties,
(08:45):
all of a sudden, you know, like you did, all
of a sudden, have that one moment of clarity and awareness,
and then it becomes a year's process of process of
transformation and so forth. But how do people overcome that
earlier so that they don't go through all of this stuff?
Speaker 4 (09:02):
What I love for what is happening right now is
when you're all being all to listen. And listening is
not in the sense of listen to the Prime Minister
or the president, or this or the the other. It
is literally listened to that silent voice inside of yourself.
We're seeing a rise in breath work, in meditation, in yoga,
(09:25):
and all of these spiritual practices that allow you to
find the stillness within. And as I've heard on your
podcast earlier as well, like stillness is doesn't mean or
meditation doesn't mean we're gonna sit still, We're gonna be
like quiet. No, finally, your thoughts gonna be like, oh, yes,
now we at the time to make her aware or
make him aware of all the things that we have
(09:48):
been thinking. And we know by research already that eighty
percent minimum eighty percent what our mind thinks is negative
is fear based. That very little twenty percent that is
positive or that could be evoking you to try something new,
do something better, show up in at an event alone.
There are very little people who would have the courage
(10:11):
to show up at an event alone. They want to belong.
You don't want to be that little person on the side,
like I don't know if I can't talk with this,
but no, so put yourself in places where you're like, think,
I like this, right, so try it out.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
So how do people you know, it's interesting, you know
a lot of people come up from different religions, some
come up with no religion in their lives.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
You know, you talk.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
About that soul within, you talk about the light within.
Some of that can be theological in nature. For others
it's becoming more and more non theological.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
But it's just this spirit or whatever, this inside of us.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
How do people start to realize that they are living
a life that isn't theirs? And how do they start?
In your opinion, and how did you find that spirit
within you, that light within you that allowed you to
truly become.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
I've never done becoming, and that is a misconception that
I find here so often, Like tend this event and
you'll become and you'll be. Like being means that being
fully present in THEMO. I tell you, doctor Duk, I've
never been able to be as present as I have
(11:29):
been in the last few years. Am I perfect? Helmo?
There are many moments where I go stop conscious in
my hold on this is what we sign up for,
stop us us feeling too, and now go from it.
The sole scene method that you lightly pushed upon is
for me, it is really allowing the person to stop
(11:50):
and reflect. When we can disconnect from our pain, from
our stories, from our perspectives that we have believed to
be the ultimate truth, and we allow ourselves to see
a slightly different perspective, only then can we change. But
this is all logical, right, The work that I do
with my clients is not logical. It is emotional.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
So so I have a question for you, and again
it's a personal one, so you can say no if
you don't want to answer this. But and hey, I've
experienced this too, so I'm the first one to say
I've experienced this. So when you got married, you mentioned
that you know almost from the beginning that really wasn't.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Right, but you did it because that's what you're supposed
to do. What is it?
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Because we have such a high divorce rate, and I
know that people experience the same thing. For me, I
realized that I was kind of marrying my mother and
guess what, that's not who I should be married to.
And we tend to put that energy out that attracts
those people, and yet that energy that we're putting out
(12:55):
is a false energy, isn't it? Because it's something that
was embedded within us by external verses.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
So what is false? I heard this beautiful story right,
and I'm gonna answer the personal question. I have no
problems hearing this. I heard this beautiful story where a
man was has his son, and his son was playing
in the field on the farm and he broke his leg,
and his neighbor came by and said, oh, I'm so
sorry your son broke his leg. It's so horrible what
(13:24):
happened to him, And the neighbors like, you know what,
it just is? This is what do you mean by that? No,
it just is. This is what it is. There's nothing wrong,
there's nothing good. It is just what it is. And
he lived by this mind frame. Nothing is good, nothing
is bad. It just is.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
So.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Then two or three weeks later, the army they were
searching men for army, and they could not take him
because he had broken black. The same neighbor comes by again, Oh,
how good that your son couldn't go. He doesn't have
to do this and all that. Again, the same answer,
It just is, we will never know the bigger picture,
just as I did not know my bigger pick. I
(14:03):
come from an Indian family, from a sick religion, and
I was really brought up in a very strict way.
Even though I grew up in Europe, I was very
brought up in a strict way, as in, meet to
marry in a sick boy. This is going to be forever.
This is it. There's no other option than this is it.
And as I got to know my then husband, I
(14:26):
was coming from a mind frame like, oh my god,
this guy likes me. This is it. I've made it
in life. This person likes me. I'm actually being seen
and I'm allowed to be seen now. But this is it.
I cannot think any other way. I should absolutely flow
with this, because there's manager interesting. So that on its
(14:47):
own is a very wrong perspective to come from and
start a marriage from now. Throughout this experience of my marriage, yes,
there was something inside of me that was telling me
and I was numby in that voice because I was
brought up with these Now, I believe that my soul
chose to come into this family, into this specific religion,
(15:09):
into the specific experience of life, to grow into the
woman that I am today. So there's nothing wrong with
him with that experience, with all of that, that hardship
that I went through because I was meant to go
through it so my soul could have this evolution is lifetime.
That's what I choose to believe.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Okay, And I love that because I believe that too.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
And you know, I think it's so interesting that as
we as we go through those experiences, you know, so
many people become victims because it's like, oh, this happened
to me, This happened to me, rather than looking at
each incident that occurs in our lives, which we could
look at from a negative perspective and realize that, you
(15:51):
know what, with a little bit of gratitude and thought,
we could realize and maybe it takes us a few
years to look back, but realize that you, you know what,
because of this experience, this is who I am today.
And for you, because of those experiences. Look at the
difference that you're making for these women that are coming
to you, and you could have never done that probably
(16:14):
if you had not had those experiences. And I think
that's the case for all of us, is that when
we get to a certain point where we're really making
a difference, and as you said, it never ends. That
personal becoming. When I said become, I didn't mean that's
an endpoint. It's something that we constantly do. I mean
I meditate practically every day and part of that meditation
(16:37):
is seeking to become more and more and it never
ends because I never quite reach it, because I realized that,
you know what, this is a journey that we go
on and ultimately, but as you say, who we are
becoming is a result of what family we were born into,
where we were born, the experiences that we have, and
(16:58):
if we can look at that from a standpoint of
gratitude and insight rather than the other way around, I
think it makes such a difference.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
It totally does. But I was not the person at
that time. When I went through the divorce, it was
all about why is this happening to me? What did
I do wrong? Why is God punishing me all of
those things I've said? And in that moment, this is
why I love. When I'm helping my clients now and
they're like, how can you not be angry at him,
(17:27):
I'm like, and drink the poison myself every day. No,
thank you. I don't agree with the father of my children,
and that is my right. I can have a certain
amount of feeling towards the experiences that I've had emotional abuse,
financial like, whatever it was, and I can label it, right,
(17:49):
but the label is not the solution. The label is
just the human mind explanation of the experience. But my
emotion was completely different. Now. Even this morning, I was
doing this beautiful meditation where I was guided to send
blessings to people, and I'm sharing this not out of ego.
(18:10):
I'm sharing this out of insight right now with you,
where it's like I'm I was literally sharing and sending
love to the father of my children based on the
part of him that feels unloved. All of us have
part of ours in ourselves that feel unloved. So the
(18:32):
sole scene means that you're, oh, you are saying yes
to seeing those parts of yourself that are feeling unloved.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
Okay, And as we feel that, and I think you
hit on this, as we feel that in love and
to some degree I think it's ego, we will make
decisions to feel loved that may not be in our
best interest. Absolutely, how do you overcome that? Okay?
Speaker 4 (18:59):
So it was a time earlier this year where I
felt fadly anxious, and that was an emotion and a
snapshot of my life. And in my anxiety, I chose
to go outside for a walk and I was searching,
I don't want to listen to a meditation. I just
want to talk and listen to something that's talking towards
(19:20):
my anxiety right now. And I call it. I was
literally searching emotional pep talk. I need an emotional pep talk,
like I need to talk to my emotion right now,
and I couldn't find it. And I looked up in
anger while the tears are rolling down my eyes, and
I looked up like, even in my misery, you giving
me ideas, This is not fair. And it was just
(19:42):
so perfect because it allowed me to see that as
human beings, we are driven by our emotion, not by
logic our emotion. So when we sit down and we
understand that our emotions are literally an emotion that's full
going through us, that wants and desires our attention right now.
(20:05):
So if you feel worried, and there is a reason
why you're feeling worried, but instead of sitting in that
story of the worry, did in that vibration of the worry,
how does the worry make me feel right? Now? Where
does my body feel heavy right? What are the thoughts
that are coming up that are making me go? Look, no,
(20:26):
I don't want to hear us, don't want to feel us,
because that awareness is the key to allowing it to
move out of you. But what do we do as
human beings? We suppress? We pretend, we put up a
bright face and show up with a bike, smile and
like I'm happy, I am good. Look at me now, okay?
(20:47):
Can I also see the part of you that is vulnerable?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
That?
Speaker 4 (20:50):
That's why I do my own podcast as well, where
I'm sharing my day to day life, where I'm sharing
my own struggles. I am even though I will will
help you move your shadows, move out and see your shadows,
move out your shadows and move out with clarity. It
is required for you to feel empowered in that exercise
(21:15):
and that you can be like, oh, I can do
this on my own. None of my clients will ever
tell you that they're dependent on me. That's not how
I work, and as I prove personally, don't believe any
coach out there should work that way.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
No, it is, yeah, isn't it interesting?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
You know?
Speaker 3 (21:31):
As we talk about emotions and as you talk about frequency.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
And you know what I tell people often is, and
I did this, particularly when I was working with businesses,
look at your outcome right now, and tell me what
it is that you really want, which is different. And
once they say that, I'll go okay, So I just
want you to take one step back and tell me
(21:56):
what would have to happen, just one step back in order.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
For that to be achieved.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
Okay, all right, what would have to happen one step
before that to have that last step happen? And so
on and so on and so on until we get
back to the point where it's the beginning, and it
goes to the emotions, and it goes to the frequency.
And what I find interesting is, and I don't know
if people really understand this, that those emotions create a
(22:23):
frequency that if we suppress them, it actually becomes stronger
and we end up attracting the very.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Things that we don't want to attract, and.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Our body will do as a service by stopping us,
by creating a disease. Now, this is very wrong to say.
A lot of people can be like, what do you mean,
I cause this listen, I'm not saying you cause it consciously,
Just saying that your body loves you enough make you
stop and assess what is really truly turning inside of
(22:58):
you right now.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
Well, as you're working with people, do you find that
most of them have had some type of moment of
clarity like you did as you were sitting there in
that room dark and look at most people have some
type of moment of clarity in order for them to
start really having the courage and the desire to do
that in our work.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
And then they stop themselves because they're afraid.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
And fear is false evidence of pairing real because what
do we know? We know what we have created in
our lives, the way we live our lives, the family
we have, the people we have around us, and we
are afraid that everything will fall away. Now, in reality,
it will because you are changing your frequency. And as
(23:46):
you change your frequency, the people who are not ready
to embrace that frequency will make their way out of it.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Well, and I love how you talk about suppressing your
emotion and you know, and there's such a.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Variety of emotions.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
I know that my children's mother passed away last week,
and as I was talking to son number two, he
says Dad.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
He says, I was just sitting.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Working out at the gym and I started crying, and
he says, you know, it's I'm so grateful that I
can not suppress my emotions but actually experience those at
the given moment. And I said, you know what, that's
a blessing that a lot of people don't have in
their lives, you know. And there's the emotion of the
(24:32):
sadness and loss and so forth. But with all of
the emotions that are there, what do you find as people?
And we'll get into meditation a little bit more, but
as people will go into that process of what we
refer to as meditation and start to experience those emotions
coming up and recognizing that these are not the emotions
that I want to experience in my life, how do
(24:56):
they ultimately allow that to come up and remove it.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
And change it into something different.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
First of all, my condolences is grief is always a
very heavy topic. It is something that goes beyond logic.
We can go fine for a week and then have
a very heavy week after. I find even though even
though I haven't experienced grief very personally close upon myself yet,
(25:25):
I know I will at one point I don't haven't yet.
From a logical perspective, I can say the soul always
lives on, always in and around our energetic field, as
a spirit that will guide us, support us beyond the
logic of our mind. Having said that, I actually became
(25:46):
an emotion called practitioner just because I want to understand
emotion more. And this is work that was created by
doctor Bradley Nelson, And in his book he actually explains
step by step how you can move those emotions out
of you. And it doesn't require you to tell yourself
the story again, it only requires you to identify what
(26:07):
emotions stuck in your body. If you want to know
what age you got stuck, you can ask that question
and you can move it out of yourself by yourself
through literally a hand palm and go with from the
top of your head all around until the bottom of
your neck if you will back. But what happens is
(26:28):
wed out. I did the same. When I did the
work for the first time, I'm like, yeah, I felt something,
but it's okay, it's ever it's second time, this ancestral one,
I felt spirits all around me, and I'm like, okay,
I believe you. I hear you, thank you going up
because I don't know what to do with this, and
(26:50):
it became my trigger, like hold on. If I am
able to do this work for my children, for my clients,
for myself, or my family, for my friends, then I
can go beyond the logical mind. See, by the time
that episode is going to live, I will have my
pep talks out there that will work with your logical mind,
(27:13):
that will give you empowered questions that will allow you
to feel the emotion. And at the end, with the
work and the gifts that I have received through my intuition,
I will be able to move them out of your energy.
So if you feel like, Okay, I'm having this specific emotion,
come up, look up. If that emotion pep talk is
(27:33):
there out there yet. If not, send me a message
in the DM on Instagram or any other platform and
I will response. I will create that for you because
I truly feel there's a power in sitting in that emotion.
We can all want to through meditation, through the logical
work that we do, move that emotion out. It's uncomfortable.
(27:56):
I don't want to feel it, I don't want to
see it.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Let it go.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Let it go. Let it go. But the gift that
emotion is coming up is has a message for you.
So let's sit with this emotion so the message can
come through and now from a deeper level of yourself
can let it go. The top to time, this is
a hard.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Part, well it is.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
And you know when you were talking about these emotions
come up and have you know, one of the one
of the sayings that I love is that was we
resist persists. And you know, if we continually fight those
emotions and keep pushing them back down because we don't
want to experience them, they continue. And and like you say,
(28:37):
and I love when you talk about pep talk. And
what I find interesting is you know, for me meditation,
I'm from time to time I come up with these
affirmations I will say or pep talk and try to
make sure that they're ones that are believable obviously, But
what I know is that literally changes your brain. It
(28:59):
changes your neural pathways, and you're able to literally, at
some point in time change those neural pathways of negative
emotions the positive ones. Because you're using as you refer
to as which I think you're referring to as pep talk.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
So for me, pep talk is not. The difference that
I find with pep talk and meditation is meditation is
about dealing the mind and allowing that emotion to go out.
But what happens often is after the meditation you're good
for a day and then you're like, oh, it's back again.
It didn't work. That's because your mind is not believing
(29:36):
what you experience. To help your mind believe what you
experience is to give your mind better questions. So the
pep talk is literally about let's identify your emotion. Let's
ask better questions to this emotion. If you feel compelled
to journal about a journal about it. If you don't
like journaling, record your voice, stay out loud all the thoughts,
(29:57):
all the things, all the answers that you are feeling.
Now you have given it voice, either through your hand
or through your own voice. And now that you have
created and gave yourself a gift of clarity, now we
can step into the latter part, which is actually the
medication parts, into the release.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Well, and as you talk about I am not a
good journal or I hate journaling, but what I have
discovered and I love what you just said there, you know,
I happen to be a Mac user. So I use
Pages and I discovered on Pages, and I think this
works for Microsoft Word too, that you have a recording
capability where it will hear your voice and it will
(30:37):
type up what you're saying. And therefore, not only are
you able to say it, because I used to say
it and then I couldn't remember what I said, But
this way saying it is a way to develop that
journaling because now you have it in written form.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Yes, and it's all today with AI. There's so many
tools out there. I go beyond Microsoft or Apple, and
you can utilize all of these tools to help you
get into that. See. Honestly, what I would do sometimes
is I will just hit record on my phone and
I will just allow all the things that want to
(31:13):
come out in a moment to come out. If I
feel inspired, I will go back again and listen to it,
or I will transcribe and read through it. But the
energy was not required for you to that, I'll go
back to read it. Is the energy it required for
you to release it.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (31:30):
So here's the question that we talked about before we
actually started recording.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
As I mentioned to you, I have some people that.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
I've interviewed, and one of their main focuses on their
podcast is working with men that are really struggling with women,
and they're in their fifties and forties, fifties and sixties.
And as you're helping these women to really come to
themselves and to be free, do you find that that
(31:57):
affects that desire for a relationship with someone else or
do you find that all of a sudden they become
so independent with the women's movement and so forth, and
men have their own problems which would be interesting to
talk about, but do you find that.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
That's part of the challenger.
Speaker 5 (32:15):
How do you help your clients to truly reach a
point of independence and self love and clarity, mindfulness, all
of that, and still want to be part of a
relationship that can be wonderful, joyous, full of true love.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
I love this question. For men, what they've been taught
from generations ages ago is they're hunters, their providers. For
women they're nurturers. So if a man's need is to provide,
they need someone to provide too, And if a woman's
need is to nurture, they need someone to nursere Now,
(32:58):
what has happened with all of these moves, and of
course there are extremes always out there. They're always extremes
like no, I can do it on my own. I'm
do it on my own, am Mind you, I've been
on myself by myself for ten years now. It's not
the lack of desire of a relationship. It is the
lack of clarity that keeps the men and the women
(33:20):
away from the So a practice that I do for
myself is I you know, this is so beautiful. There's
so many things out there that will tell you the
specific what types of men are you calling in? What
does this person look like? What is what are they doing?
And all of those things. These are all external things.
The way that my mentor taught me is like, write
(33:41):
down how you want to deal with how does this
man or woman make you feel on a day to
day basis, so that you know what frequency, what energy
you are calling in. When there's a disagreement, how do
you both work through that? And when you have a
clarity in that regard, you can create a unit, a partnership,
(34:05):
a companionship that goes beyond logic. The sad part now is, though,
when we decide to go back to a relationship. We
are unclear about what we're really truly calling in because
you can have the perfect looking man or the perfect
looking woman in front of you and you can still
say no because there's not this emotion that was evoked
(34:27):
in you that you're looking for. And I'm not calling
about talking about lust or talking about infactuation. That's different, right,
There's enough of that in the world either way. I'm
talking literally about the soul to soul connection that you think.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
I know.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
I know, I know that my man is out there
and he knows that I'm out here. Whenever we will meet,
because we will meet, that unit is going to create
an experience that my children, myself himself have desired beyond logic.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
Well, and as you as you look for that man
that's going to be supportive and as he's looking for
that woman that's going.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
To be nurturing.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Do you find that as you're working with women oftentimes
they lose that nurturing or if you're working with men,
they tend to be patriarchal rather than supportive. And I
think there's a big difference between.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
That and totally totally yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
So do you find that that's that's.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
Another challenge that people have is that, you know, the
men want that nurturing and the women want that support,
but somewhere along the line, it's not existing in who
they are.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
For men to come to a relationship where they will
allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to really truly allow
a healthy, nurturing woman in, it requires for them to
feel good about themselves, to feel good with where they
are financial and chilly. Or a woman it requires such
(36:03):
a fool good about herself and to feel good about
how someone else is making them feel. The mismatch happens
when we go in extremes. I want a woman who's independent,
who's also very much like taking care of the home,
taking care of this, taking care of me, taking care
of all of the things that I want her to
(36:24):
take care of. That's patriarchy. Yes, a woman in her
extreme is like, I'm going to showcase to the world
that I'm so independent. I can have kids on my own,
I can live my life on my own, I can
create a career for myself. Deep down inside, I desire
a man, but I can't tell myself I desire a man.
So therefore I'm going to find quick fixes. Blings situationships
(36:47):
to make myself be like, oh you see, I'm still wanted,
I'm still desired, or that's not what I'm seeking. So
when we come from this energy of filling a gap
in our lives that isn't already failed by yourselves, by awareness,
by love, by understanding, you're going to come from this extreme.
(37:10):
A healthy relationship, in my books, is a man who
is in his divine feminine and divine masculine. He will
always be more masculine and feminine because his desire just
because he came and birth as a man, is to provide,
say for a woman. Our desire is to nurture. In
my past relationships, even as a child, I always came
(37:33):
to a relationship as a fixer. I will fix this,
I will help you fix this, and I can feel
good about myself. Well, what happens if Matina doesn't have
to fix there's a void? What do I do? Then?
Who do I be? Then? How can I add value
to you if I don't have to fix you? Well,
I add value by just being me. My person will
add value by just being.
Speaker 5 (37:53):
Him and having that supportive attitude and that nurturing attitude.
And it's interesting as you can get that emotional agreement
and connection going, It changes a whole relationship.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
This is so beautiful because so often women be like, oh,
I pay for my own days, right, But now you
have robbed a man, a healthy man, from the ability
to provide. Even when you are in a relationship with
a person and everything is going good, you are being nurtured,
you are nurturing, you're being supportive, you're supporting, you are
(38:26):
being seen, you are being providing. All of those things together,
there is a give and take because none of us
are going to be one hundred percent every day. And
Brenee Brown always talks about this, like when she comes
home she talks to a progner, I'm like, I'm seventy percent.
Oh it's okay, I'm one hundred percent today. I will
make up for the I'll make up. I'll be there.
(38:49):
And when they both come from an energy of okay,
I'm four fifty to fifty or I'm forty forty, that
doesn't equal the hundred. So what do we do now?
We need to come to an agreement. Let's give me
some each other's space. Let's give each other the energy
and the requirement that we have. We just want to
be held. Yeah, that's enough to calm the nervous system
(39:11):
down for a woman. When the man wants to be
providing for a specific thing for you, just allow You
don't have to showcase to him that you can do
it yourself all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Great, talk about.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
Something you want and it will be fulfilled by this.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
And I think that's such a great insight that you
have on that. You know, I think if people would
listen to that alone, it would make such a difference
in relationships.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
And this requires those self awareness from both ends.
Speaker 5 (39:39):
Yes, oh absolutely, not only self awareness, but humility and
encourage and putting that ego aside. And you know, there's
some great books out there about ego and putting that
ego aside. And when we can do that and reach
that point, all of a sudden things come together and
guess what, we're out of time. Conversation though, I love
(40:04):
so as we finished Number one, how do people find you?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
They can find me on my website matinasing dot com
or on any social Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and it's
always a thing or sigmautina.
Speaker 5 (40:16):
Okay, and you said that something's coming up that you're
working on right now.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
By the time this episode will be released, it will
be out there. I will have my pep talks for
specific emotions out there. You can get one specific emotion
meditation med I'm saying meditation. It's not meditation, it's a
pep talk. Or you can get a bundle to really
allow yourself to.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Feel okay, great. And as a final message for the audience,
what would that be.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
As emotional beings, you will always, always, always be driven
by emotion. It is about you taking time to understand
which emotion is driving you, receive the message of that emotion,
and allow the emotion to move through you because it
was never meant to be back in the first Please
understand yourself, love yourself, give yourself the freedom so that
(41:04):
tomorrow is a grand new day and with the presence
and clarity you can create a better tomorrow.
Speaker 5 (41:11):
Wonderful Medina, Thank you so much. This has been a
wonderful conversation.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
Thank you, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
You've met folks, thanks for listening. Hope you've enjoyed it.
Hope you'll join us again soon. This is doctor Doug
saying no mistay
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