February 6, 2025 • 39 mins
2025 & Embracing the Unknown
Jenna recaps on the start of 2025 and Embracing the Unknown
IG: JennaLobos
jennalobos.com
"Love Your Body Love Your Life" ..
Music on: Spotify & Apple Music
https://youtu.be/ktG3pWaPtJ8?si=fy_Xtfh3ldPzXZKI
Love Your Body, Love Your Life is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Love Your Body, Love Your Life TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Love Your Body, Love Your Life Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Jenna recaps on the start of 2025 and Embracing the Unknown
IG: JennaLobos
jennalobos.com
"Love Your Body Love Your Life" ..
Music on: Spotify & Apple Music
https://youtu.be/ktG3pWaPtJ8?si=fy_Xtfh3ldPzXZKI
Love Your Body, Love Your Life is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Love Your Body, Love Your Life TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Love Your Body, Love Your Life Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guests should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, welcome to Love Your Body, Love Your Life.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
My name is Jenna.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am the host of this show, and I'm also
the author of the book titled Love Your Body, Love
Your Life.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
My book is You.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Can find my book on Amazon and on Barnes Andnoble
dot com. I think we have a little bit of
a delay on the video, so anyways, I just wanted
to say that I don't know if my words are
in tune with the video. Anyways, Welcome to my show,
you guys. I have not been live since the so
(01:01):
if anybody's here with me, thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
I have not been live for a whole month month
and a half. Actually.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I did a show live in December, and then the
holidays rolled around, and then January I just really got
focused and in tune and kind of went inward a
little bit and just wanted to really focus on myself
and what I really want to achieve.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And accomplish this year.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Twenty twenty five five, last time I did the show live,
I shared a personal story around the boat raid, So
if anybody watched, it was kind of a funny story
about a guy named James and the boat ray and
now he was trying to like tell me how to
(01:53):
drink my soup. So I thought I would start the
show off and share another kind of funny personal story
that happened to me in January. Totally came out of nowhere,
and I just wanted to share that with you because
I think it will wrap around and tie into what
we're talking about today, which is embracing the unknown, which
(02:16):
we'll get into. But so holidays went, came and went,
they were, they were, they were okay. For me this year,
it was it was a little bit surreal. I didn't
have my mom around and I didn't have my dad around.
So I'm just kind of backtracking really quick before I
tell you guys my personal story. So I didn't have
(02:36):
my my parents around for for some.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Reasons that maybe I'll share down the line.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
But it was just really a surreal holiday moment for
me because I went to actually my dad's house, but
he wasn't there, and I spend it with my half
brothers and sisters and my family on that side, and
and then I was going to spend the night, but
I didn't plan to spend the night at my dad's,
(03:04):
so I ended up driving home, which was it was
about it's about an hour hour and fifteen minutes to
drive back to my house, and I ended up driving
back Christmas Day and just thinking like, wow, this is
this is surreal because is this how it's going to
be in the future when I don't have my mom
(03:25):
and dad? So I feel like this has kind of.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Been lingering around my brain for.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Since Holidays, is embracing the unknown, And that's why I
titled it titled the show Today that that topic. So
that kind of happened in December. I drove home really
thinking about, you know, that that moment where it is
real and I don't have them, and you know, just
kind of going into my deep thinking, which you guys
(03:56):
if I mean, I am a deep thinker, Okay, So.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Especially like if I'm in the.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Car and I have a long drive, my mind just.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Can go really deep.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
So anyways, so that was kind of my December. So
I decided on that drive. I just really need to
hunker down and figure out what I'm going to create
this year that is meaningful to my heart, meaningful to me,
and how I can be in service on a beer
level to the women in particular, but.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
To whoever wants to listen, I guess.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
So anyways, so January rolls around, and I'm in this
mode of permit mode, kind of just really journaling and
being present with myself and figuring it all out. And
I go to pilates class one Monday evening. Normally I
go on Mondays and after plates, I normally just come home,
(04:57):
make dinner and do my routine. This particular day, I
decided to go pick up dinner from like a local, healthy,
kind of fast food restaurant here in Orange County. And
it's dark, you know, it gets dark at like five o'clock,
and so it's dark. I go and I order my
(05:19):
phone my food via phone, and I plan to pick
it up and basically drive home and eat. So I
get there and I pick picking up my food, and
I noticed this guy kind of in line, you know,
kind of buying me. And I thought, oh, he's he's
kind of cute, you know. But I didn't think much
of it. So I pick up my food and and
(05:42):
then I thought, oh, I'm just going to sit here.
I'm so hungry. I don't want to like drive home,
and you know I have to drive and wait to eat.
So I was either going to eat in my car
or I was going to sit and eat.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
In the restaurant. Anyways, so I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Eating my food and this same guy I noticed him,
you know, busy restaurant, it's dinner time. I noticed him
on the phone across the restaurant and no mcdil you know,
you're eating alone, you kind of like people watch, right,
and lo and behold, he approaches me and says, may
(06:18):
I bother you? I think you're very beautiful? Can I
get your phone number? And first of all, this has
never happened to me, right, and I didn't expect this
at all. Here I am in hermit mode, deep thinking,
thinking about the unknown. And you know, the day that
I lose my parents, you know, that's kind of my
my where my thoughts are in this moment in time.
(06:39):
So here he approaches me, and I'm just like, really,
this has never happened to me in my life, where
some guy just approaches me and asks me for my number.
And you know, I know it's happened to several girls,
but this hasn't never happened to me.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
So I say to him.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
He has his food in his hand, and I say
to him, Oh, are you picking up food for yourself
or are you are you driving it to someone? I
wanted to know, is he like an uber driver or
like what.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Does he do for a living? Like who is this guy?
Like is he delivery boy or what?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So? Anyways, he says, no, no, no, I picked up
food for myself. I live in so and so area
and I just really like this restaurant. It's healthy, blah blah.
I said, oh, okay, interesting. I said, well, do you
have an Instagram? And he's like, oh, I just deleted
my Instagram, but I can put up pick it back
(07:34):
up if that if you're if you're more comfortable with
giving me your Instagram. And so he he puts his
Instagram page back up right in front of me in
the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And I watched.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
This all go down, and I see, I see his
Instagram page and he's legit. And I'm thinking, you know,
like he has a legit bus business to where he
has several followers right on Instagram, and I'm thinking, okay,
he's he's you know, he's a legit guy. And so
we exchange Instagram profiles and later that night or that
(08:16):
that yeah, that night he starts messaging me and you know,
no big deal, casual conversation. So the following weekend rolls
around and I don't know, he got in touch somehow whatever,
and he's he's. He says he wants to meet up,
and I'm like, okay, sure, sure we can do that.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That'd be fun.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
You know. Let me see, I had been gone on
a date. God, I can't remember, so I thought, okay, fun.
You know, it's kind of came out of nowhere. It'll
kind of give give my little routine. It was something
like different in my routine, right, So okay, sure, I'm
(08:56):
open to doing this. So Saturday morning rolls around and
he leaves me a voice note on Instagram, and in
my bend, you guys, I'm thinking, oh, he's going to cancel, right,
Like that's the message that I'm going to hear.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
He's just going to cancel.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
But no, he says very politely, like, hey, Jenna, you know,
I'm just trying to figure out the time because I
have to work from so and so timed at this time,
and I don't know what time you like to eat,
but I was thinking dinner. We can get together for
dinner and and you know, it was a very nice message.
So I also he said, otherwise, we can do tomorrow,
(09:36):
which was Sunday, and I said no. I left him
a message back and I said, I can be flexible
today Saturday, because tomorrow I had Sunday, which I had
a business meeting to go to. So I said, I
can be flexible on time today, so seven o'clock would
be fine for me, which he suggested seven. So he
(09:57):
was he's we said okay, So that was all set
and then he like left me a voice not like
a couple hours later, I don't know, around twelve o'clock Saturday,
kind of in between his clients, and he's just like,
how's your day going, you know, just kind of being sweet,
you know, just being sweet, you know, checking in. We
(10:18):
were supposed to meet that night, and and I thought, oh,
he's that sweet, you know, he's checking in. And then
five o'clock rolls around, so here I am just kind
of basically rearranging my day to meet this guy at
seven o'clock that night, and we decided to meet at
the restaurant that we had met at a week prior
(10:38):
because it was just easier. So then around five o'clock
he he messages me and he says, hey, he's like,
my last client just canceled. You want to meet earlier?
And I was like, oh, okay, well I can do
six thirty because you know, I just I had planned seven,
(10:59):
so I had been going on. And he was like,
oh no, that's okay, We'll just we'll just leave seven o'clock.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So I get ready and the restaurant's casual, but you know,
I get ready, I do my makeup and hair.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I you know, I get ready.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
As possible much as possible as I can casually, but
I still want to show up nice.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
So I get ready. I go to the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I get there at like six fifty. I sit in
my car a little bit. I get out of my
car around six fifty five and I'm standing in front.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Of the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It's cold, you know, it's January. It's it's dark, and
I have my jacket on whatever. So it's I'm standing
outside waiting seven o'clock comes around.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And you know, he's not there.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Okay, no big dill. I'm pretty patient. So seven five
rolls around, seven ten rolls around, and I end up
messaging him on Instagram saying I'm here and I'm thinking
maybe he's inside, you know, So I look inside. He's
not there. So here I am seven to twenty not there,
(12:03):
and I'm thinking to myself, okay, it's this a you
know what, doesn't show up by seven twenty five whatever,
I'm going to just go in and order dinner and start.
So sure enough, as you can probably guess.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
By now, he was a no show.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So which interesting, right, I mean, super communicative throughout the
whole day, throughout the week.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
So I end up going inside and ordering dinner and
eating by myself, which thank god. I like the restaurant,
you guys. I mean, I was like, damn, at least
they have good food, you know, I know.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
The food here.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
So I go in, I eat by myself, and you know,
I want to interject, you know, really quickly, because we
are going to.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Get into the topic.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You know, I have been doing interpersonal work on myself
for literally two decades, and I can honestly say to
you that if this that's what happened to me even
six months to a year ago, I would have been
spiraling like crazy, probably like totally in my head, bashing myself,
(13:12):
you know, making it about me, and you know, who
knows where my mind go to wind. But because I've
been working on myself, I instantly went into the mantra
of this is all happening for me, not to me.
And again I think this goes hand in hand with
our subject today of embracing the unknown, which I'll get into.
(13:36):
I want to finish my story, so I immediately go
into that mantra like.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
This is happening for me, not to me.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
There is definitely a something good that's going to come
out of this, right there always is. There has to
be something, a lesson that's good and positive, and you know,
something that I could take to learn about myself from
this situation. And you know so anyway, so I eat
my dinner. I'm in the car by I don't know,
(14:06):
eight eight o'clock. I ate pretty fast, I was starting
and eight o'clock eight ten, so a fifteen rolls around
and I get a message from this guy saying I
am so sorry, my car got toped with three sad emojis.
So I just was like, really, do you really think
(14:28):
that I'm going to believe this bus?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Like really, Like no, did you just.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Go to your car at a fifteen to get to
a date at seven?
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Like this is total bullshit? Right, So anyways, I don't
know if anybody's.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
On live chat right now, but I've told a handful
of people this story, and two girls said that I
missed a red flag when this guy first approached me.
And I just want to tell you, guys what two
girls picked up on that Clearly I didn't pick up
(15:03):
on because I saw this totally different. I had a
different perspective of this quote unquote red flag. So the
red flag was that when he approached me with for
my number in the restaurant a week prior. The red
flag was that he had deleted his Instagram. And two
girls said to me, that was your red flag, because
(15:26):
anybody that is legit it has like a legit business
that could promote their business on Instagram, why would they
delete their profile?
Speaker 3 (15:35):
So, you guys, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Pick up on that at all. Like I didn't pick
up on that red flag. I looked at it like
kind of a positive thing, to be honest, because I
would rather have a guy that's not hanging out on
Instagram all day, you know. So I thought I would
just share that with you because it's something to kind
of look at if you guys are ever out there
(16:00):
and you know dating and the dating world, and you
want to really pay attention to.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
The social media aspect.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Two girls pointed that out, like, if they are legit
and they have a legit business that can be promoted
on Instagram, they should have their Instagram page up and
their profile up and it should be like public. And
these two girls that picked that up said, the only
reason why he would have deleted it is because he
maybe had done something wrong or who knows. Well, anyways,
(16:31):
I will finish the story of telling you guys that
I did not end up blocking him because I was
just curious, you know, like what the f happened?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Really?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Like I knew in my gut it had to be
around another another girl, right, it had to have been.
So this past weekend, which is now it's it's been
over a month, probably this past weekend, I went on
my Instagram just randomly, and the same guy had posted
(17:04):
a photo of him and his girlfriend or him and
a girl which I'm assuming is his girlfriend because he
made like in his caption, he you know, he basically said.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
My baby or whatever.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You know. So anyways, that's my personal story and then
we'll get into topic.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Okay, So I do have some questions.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Are there more things that maybe red flags to look for?
Oh gosh, good question, Pam. I mean, yeah, there's a
ton a ton of red flags to look for. I mean,
in this scenario, I didn't really have a lot of
time to look for red flags because it was such
a short, you know, instant meeting where I was just
(17:45):
kind of exchanging instagrams. But if you guys want to
talk about red flags, I mean, I feel like as women,
we kind of know in our guts instantly if the
guy is.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Good or not.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know, so if they're really good liars, if they're
really good at keeping who they are at bay, then
it may take a couple months, but not I don't
think it would take six months. If you're really in
tune and you're really honest with yourself, you can tell
when guys have shifty eyes, and like if you're at
a restaurant or something and they're looking around, or they're
(18:22):
always on their phone, or or they turn their phone
off when they're with you, or they're always you know,
looking at social media. Guys are just so they're just
kind of sloppy to be honest, and they will let
you know who they are right off the bat. You
just got to be open and honest with yourself as women,
(18:43):
because I will say to you that, you know, I
will say that I have self abandoned myself so many times.
You guys in relationships just because I didn't want to
see the red flags.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I didn't want to hear them.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I saw other I saw other qualities in them that
I liked, and I wanted to believe that the other
things just weren't significant, I guess enough for me to
not to not be with that guy. So just be
honest with yourself. You know, Jeff, were you interested in him?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I mean I was, you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Know, like I thought it would have just been fun to,
like I said, kind of have a different routine. I
was so hunkered down through December and January, and I
can get pretty deep with myself.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
And get pretty serious, you know, so I thought it
would just be fun. You know.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I wasn't looking at it like, oh, this is my
you know, this is my person. You know. I was
just kind of looking at it for a good, fun
you know night kind of thing. Dave. Was he seeing
the girl and cheating on her or got with her
after he planned on meeting with you. I feel like
(20:00):
he's been seeing this girl for quite a while. That's
the feeling I get. And I feel like he was
maybe cheating on her or maybe they were taking a break.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
And you know, it's funny, Dave.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That night, I thought to myself, he like a girl
must have showed up at his house and he got distracted.
Or one of my girlfriends said that when he messaged
me at five, because you guys, remember he messaged me
at five and said that his last client rescheduled, right,
so my girl, one of my girlfriends said that when
(20:35):
his last client rescheduled and he knew he wasn't meeting
you till seven, that he went out and met with
somebody else, which is maybe it was his girlfriend, and
then he just got distracted. So but I feel like
the girl that he did post, I feel like that's
kind of his girlfriend and he's just a cheater. So
if you're listening, thank you for the content because he
(20:58):
still follows me and I haven't lockedom so you might
listen to this show. Who knows, But thank you for
the content and good luck with your girlfriend. That's what
I have to say. So, but I wanted to switch
back to Pam and let you guys know that. You know,
I do music as well. So I do have a
song on Spotify and it is about toxic relationships and
(21:21):
it's idled real Me back In. So if you guys
want to listen to that, or Pam, if you want
to listen to that.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I do talk about red flags in the show.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
So anyways, yeah, that was my January dating little scenario story.
But you know, I was open to it because, to
be honest, I let two relationships go last year like
(21:52):
August and September, and I kind of.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Cleaned house, you guys.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I literally just was like, I can't do this anymore
with two different guys I was kind of seen off
and on and an ex that kept coming back and
just really me back in, which is my song. And
I finally made a decision that they just can't be
(22:15):
my life anymore. And that was another reason why I
thought that this guy that approached me would have been
fun because I haven't allowed myself to go in and date.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Since August. Yeah, August.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
I was trying to think of that date earlier when
I was talking about my stories. So but that didn't happen.
So but yeah, so I am ready. I feel like
this year is going to be about change, significant change.
I feel it, and everywhere I go, I feel it
in the air I hear people are talking about. I've
(22:54):
had two girls in particular talk to me about change
and how they feel it in their bodies and how
they know that this year needs to be about significant change.
One girl in particular was my hygienis at the dentist,
and she was talking about how she's she's on this
health kick now and she knows that she needs to
(23:16):
let go of some bad bad I call them bad,
but they're just, you know, some habits that need to
be changed. And then another girl I was talking to
last weekend, she feels it, like in her gut that
she needs to shift gears in her career. So I
(23:37):
feel like this year twenty twenty five is about change.
And you know, I'm about about high vibration, right, Everything
is energy, Everything is vibration, even words, even letters, even numbers.
And so one of my mentors told me about the
(23:58):
number nine, which if if you total up twenty twenty
five or the date the year twenty twenty five, it
totals to nine, the number nine, and the number nine
represents a lot. But I'm going to tell you, guys
that share a little bit about the number nine. It's
about completion and fulfillment. It's about letting go. It's about realization, clarity, revelations,
(24:25):
ease of forgiveness, closure, comprehensiveness, feeling, selflessness which means being unattached, compassion,
deep feeling, soul connection which I love, patience, harmony, significant
and powerful. So this year number nine, significant and powerful,
(24:48):
transformation which I love, old soul, wisdom, and service. So
this is all what the number nine, twenty twenty five embodies.
So if any of that read with you, guys, then
this year will be will be some of that, some
of those qualities will be involved with this.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So I thought i would share because I'm into this
kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Like I said, I'm a deep thinker. I'd like to
go into words and what they mean. So but yeah,
so if anybody is anybody feeling changed this year? I'd
love to know share with me where you guys are
at so.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
We could talk about it.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I feel it coming on and I want you guys
to share, So give me a quick second. I'm going
to take a drink of water here.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
I love sparkling water.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I need to make changes, Pam said, Okay, yeah, what
area of your life.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Needs to make change?
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Pam, if you're open and willing to share, please do
I know? For me this year the area of my
life that I would love big shit and changes are
in relationship number one. Everything is relationship first of all,
but in romantic relationships, in friendships.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I need better people in my life. I need more.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Genuine people in my life. I need more truthful people
in my life. I need humor in my life, so
I need that to have change. And I also am
looking at shifting gears. As far as career, I do
real estate, so if you guys don't know that about
(26:38):
me yet, I do real estate here in Orange County.
But this year, I really would love to shift gears.
And since that I got in twenty nineteen, my book
that I wrote, Love Your Body, Love Your Life, and
my platform here and really create something that is significant
in what I'm doing is I'm creating a new website
(27:02):
and I'm going to be offering life coaching for women.
So that's something else that I've been working on all
of December and all of January is shifting gears. So
hopefully by this time next year, I will have a
coaching practice that I could talk to you guys about
and more content because I feel like if we share,
(27:25):
if more women share, then we know where everybody's at
and we can help each other and support each other.
So that's the kind of changes I am looking at
making this year.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
So, Pam, I need to stop dating the wrong guys.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I need to work smarter, not harder, and I need
to get the negative out.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So with that said, let's shift gears into talking about
our subject today, which is embracing the unknown, because I
feel like, let's start out with dating the wrong guys. Okay,
you know I sometimes I'm a writer, Okay, so sometimes
(28:03):
my thoughts come out better if I write. And I'm
going to read this.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
To you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
It's stream of consciousness from what I journaled this morning
based on the topic of embracing the unknown and it
is going to circle back to PAMs dating the wrong
guy's situation.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
I feel.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
So this is stream of consciousness, it's this morning, my journaling.
This is what I wrote, Embracing the unknown. A lot
of it is about being present, keeping the eye on
the inside, keeping one eye on the inside, meaning how
you're feeling, embracing your emotions without judgment, allowing yourself to
feel all emotions are equal. We've been taught to think
(28:44):
that anger and fear are bad, but when when dissected
and redirected, they can be powerful emotions that allow an
opening back to self love and acceptance. Yeah, so embracing
fear can lead us to our magnificence rather than acting
or making decisions from fear, example, staying in a bad
(29:07):
relationship versus embracing the feeling of fear and stepping into.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
A new direction.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Challenging, yes, but empowering for yourself the health of your
mental and psychological self body. Maybe a different perspective. That
was kind of my stream of consciousness this morning, Pam
or whoever's listening, But I wanted to share that because
I see you say you need to stop dating the
wrong guys. So my question is, what's holding you back
(29:37):
from stopping dating the wrong guys. Like my question is,
do you see they're the wrong guys and you keep
dating them because you're afraid of the unknown, or you're
afraid of being by yourself, or you're afraid that you won't.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Meet the right guy. So those are my questions.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
And I wanted to read that because it is scary,
you know, and I'm talking for from myself, my personal experience.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
It is scary to move toward.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
The unknown and not know if a person's going to
walk in your life. And I'll just share with you guys,
I'll be vulnerable. Like I consider myself an only child.
I have half siblings, but I grew up by myself.
So that's kind of like a deep fear of mine,
you know, because I've always been alone, you know. So
(30:28):
I feel like i've that's where I've made my mistakes
in the past. Is I've gravitated toward not the best
guys because I just didn't want to be about myself
and I saw something good in them that I could
hang on to, but I decided not to just like
kind of erase everything that I knew wasn't good for me,
(30:50):
just so I wouldn't be alone, you know, And I
think for lots of years, you know, giving myself grace,
I wasn't aware of that pattern, right, But once I
became aware of it, then it's kind of harder. You know.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
It's like, once you're aware.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Of your shit, you got to like really own up
to it and just make the better decision. So I mean,
just don't do it, Pam. Just get into something else,
Get into a hobby that you love, you know, start
reading books at night, read my book, Love your Body.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Love your Life.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Okay, so he's talking to me now, Pam says, no,
I don't see that they are not genuine until we
are into the relationship. I need to know what to
look for, like the little red flag, so I don't
fall for the fake.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
So there are they covert narcissists? I mean, is that
what they're doing? I mean, because they're really good.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
They're highly manipulative people, and they act like they're so genuine,
so nice, and they're really not.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Pam.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Honestly, the only thing that I could say to you
on the show at this time is you got to
go with your gut. You got to really stay embodied
in your body, so you catch those little gut feelings.
And you know, with that said, let's talk about things
(32:17):
that we can do to stay grounded, because it's easy
to not be in your body, especially if you get
overwhelmed or like caught up in in a bad relationship
or sorry, not caught up in a bad relationship, in
a good relationship where the chemicals of your brain and
(32:39):
all those good hormones are flowing and they're making you
feel so good and you're laughing and you're having a
good time. They're telling you you're beautiful. Like you just
want to be like there, you don't want to even
like catch the red flags, right if they're that charming
and manipulative and they're handsome and you like them and
there's chemistry and all this stuff. It's like you got
(33:02):
to create rituals to get back into your body and
listen to your little voice, listen to that inner voice.
So this is part of embracing the unknown. I feel
like we have to stay grounded in the present time,
and if we're in a situation where we can't, like,
let's say something happens where let's just take this example.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
You know you're in.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
A situation you're on a date, you're with this guy
that's love bombing you or just making you feel like
you're the queen of the earth, you know, and you
just feel great. Let's say you're in that situation and
you can't. You're just your brain is just there.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Really you're not grounded, right, You're not. You're not grounded
in yourself. You're just taken by this situation. I say
that you create rituals to go home and stables, get stable,
get grounded within yourself again, and dissect that situation. So
(34:04):
then you're able to really dissect to see if you
missed any red flags. So what you can do him
or anybody that wants to create a ritual around that
is go home and write. Write exactly what you felt,
what exactly happened in the date, right as soon as
(34:26):
you get home, Just start journaling, journal everything that happened
in the date. You know, how he made you feel,
what you were wearing, what you ate, what.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
He said, what you said.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
And really just stream of consciousness, no editing anything you
want to write. Nobody's going to read what you wrote.
He's never going to read it. It's only your eyes
for your eyes. So I say, write it all down.
That way, you can reread what you wrote to yourself
the following day or even a couple days after all
(34:59):
that hormone rush goes away.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
That's one thing.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Okay, So pamsying exactly, I need to lead with forward
thinking instead of my feeling. See you know, that's really good,
really really good, instead of my feeling. It's so hard
because you are you try, you listen, it's really hard.
The hormones are flying, you know, it's like we get
(35:24):
wrapped up in the moment. So just don't be hard
on yourself. Just create a ritual when you go home.
Right that way, you can reread and come with your
forward thinking later on that the following day or couples days,
and then see if there's any red flags that you
picked up on that you missed, and if you did
(35:46):
pick up on those red.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Flags, then pivot at that moment.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
You know, create a boundary or ask questions to the guy,
you know, ask him what did you mean by this?
Or this made me feel this way? Like is there
reason why you said that? Or can I revisit this?
You know, that was one thing I did say early
on after my divorce in twenty nineteen. I dated a guy.
(36:11):
This is the guy that I dated, the first guy
dated right after my divorce and talking about staying grounded.
You guys, I wasn't in a place where I'm at now,
you know, And I still got to work on it
every day. But I would literally leave my body, like
if there was something that he would say to me,
I would leave my body. It was like I had
(36:33):
no voice, I had no response. And one of my
mentors at the time told me to tell him, you know,
sometimes I might have to revisit conversations.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Okay, so I did.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I dated this guy for six months and I told
him one time at dinner, I said, you know, I'm
really raw at this. I was married for ten years.
I'm really raw dating. I might have to revisit conversation
because I might need a little time to dissect and
process things.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
That we talk about.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So if you don't mind, can I revisit some things
every every now and again. And he was, of course like, yeah,
thank you for saying that, you know, instead of me
just looking at him like you know, a deer in
headlights without anything to say, he respected that, you know that.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
I told him like.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yeah, let's let's can I revisit this. He was like,
of course, we can revisit this anytime. So that's maybe
something that you can say, you know, to your guys
that you're dating, Pam, you know, can I revisit this, you.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Know, in two days or something.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
So anyway, yeah, so I hope that helps you journal
after your dates and see if there's any red flags
that you miss. But let's talk about other rituals that
can help us stay grounded and get us back into
our body when we are faced with something that throws
(37:59):
us off our center, or if we're thinking about the
future too much and we really want to stay present.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
So some things that I wrote to keep us stable
and grounded are salt baths.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
So like I do pink salt, and salt is really
soothing and it actually takes away any kind of like
energy throughout the day. It's really good to you know,
kind of let the let the day go. And I've
probably talked about this on other shows, but it's just
it's it's worth, it's worth. Oh we're five minutes. Gosh,
(38:36):
that went by.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Fast, okay, so really quickly.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Salt bath, prayer, meditation journal, which I talked about talk
to a trusted friend, breath work, mantras and walking, and
it's really learning to stay.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
Present and care and care and just really love.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Into your life at the present time, stay present with
your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
So, yeah, you guys, that's my show on embracing the unknown.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I really appreciate you guys and all your questions today.
I have a lot coming down the pipe in February
and March, so I will be live as soon as
I can again with you guys, but stay tuned for
good things to come in twenty twenty five from me.
So until next time, love your body and love your life.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Take care,
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guests should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, welcome to Love Your Body, Love Your Life.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
My name is Jenna.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am the host of this show, and I'm also
the author of the book titled Love Your Body, Love
Your Life.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
My book is You.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Can find my book on Amazon and on Barnes Andnoble
dot com. I think we have a little bit of
a delay on the video, so anyways, I just wanted
to say that I don't know if my words are
in tune with the video. Anyways, Welcome to my show,
you guys. I have not been live since the so
(01:01):
if anybody's here with me, thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
I have not been live for a whole month month
and a half. Actually.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I did a show live in December, and then the
holidays rolled around, and then January I just really got
focused and in tune and kind of went inward a
little bit and just wanted to really focus on myself
and what I really want to achieve.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And accomplish this year.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Twenty twenty five five, last time I did the show live,
I shared a personal story around the boat raid, So
if anybody watched, it was kind of a funny story
about a guy named James and the boat ray and
now he was trying to like tell me how to
(01:53):
drink my soup. So I thought I would start the
show off and share another kind of funny personal story
that happened to me in January. Totally came out of nowhere,
and I just wanted to share that with you because
I think it will wrap around and tie into what
we're talking about today, which is embracing the unknown, which
(02:16):
we'll get into. But so holidays went, came and went,
they were, they were, they were okay. For me this year,
it was it was a little bit surreal. I didn't
have my mom around and I didn't have my dad around.
So I'm just kind of backtracking really quick before I
tell you guys my personal story. So I didn't have
(02:36):
my my parents around for for some.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Reasons that maybe I'll share down the line.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
But it was just really a surreal holiday moment for
me because I went to actually my dad's house, but
he wasn't there, and I spend it with my half
brothers and sisters and my family on that side, and
and then I was going to spend the night, but
I didn't plan to spend the night at my dad's,
(03:04):
so I ended up driving home, which was it was
about it's about an hour hour and fifteen minutes to
drive back to my house, and I ended up driving
back Christmas Day and just thinking like, wow, this is
this is surreal because is this how it's going to
be in the future when I don't have my mom
(03:25):
and dad? So I feel like this has kind of.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Been lingering around my brain for.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Since Holidays, is embracing the unknown, And that's why I
titled it titled the show Today that that topic. So
that kind of happened in December. I drove home really
thinking about, you know, that that moment where it is
real and I don't have them, and you know, just
kind of going into my deep thinking, which you guys
(03:56):
if I mean, I am a deep thinker, Okay, So.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Especially like if I'm in the.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Car and I have a long drive, my mind just.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Can go really deep.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
So anyways, so that was kind of my December. So
I decided on that drive. I just really need to
hunker down and figure out what I'm going to create
this year that is meaningful to my heart, meaningful to me,
and how I can be in service on a beer
level to the women in particular, but.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
To whoever wants to listen, I guess.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
So anyways, so January rolls around, and I'm in this
mode of permit mode, kind of just really journaling and
being present with myself and figuring it all out. And
I go to pilates class one Monday evening. Normally I
go on Mondays and after plates, I normally just come home,
(04:57):
make dinner and do my routine. This particular day, I
decided to go pick up dinner from like a local, healthy,
kind of fast food restaurant here in Orange County. And
it's dark, you know, it gets dark at like five o'clock,
and so it's dark. I go and I order my
(05:19):
phone my food via phone, and I plan to pick
it up and basically drive home and eat. So I
get there and I pick picking up my food, and
I noticed this guy kind of in line, you know,
kind of buying me. And I thought, oh, he's he's
kind of cute, you know. But I didn't think much
of it. So I pick up my food and and
(05:42):
then I thought, oh, I'm just going to sit here.
I'm so hungry. I don't want to like drive home,
and you know I have to drive and wait to eat.
So I was either going to eat in my car
or I was going to sit and eat.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
In the restaurant. Anyways, so I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Eating my food and this same guy I noticed him,
you know, busy restaurant, it's dinner time. I noticed him
on the phone across the restaurant and no mcdil you know,
you're eating alone, you kind of like people watch, right,
and lo and behold, he approaches me and says, may
(06:18):
I bother you? I think you're very beautiful? Can I
get your phone number? And first of all, this has
never happened to me, right, and I didn't expect this
at all. Here I am in hermit mode, deep thinking,
thinking about the unknown. And you know, the day that
I lose my parents, you know, that's kind of my
my where my thoughts are in this moment in time.
(06:39):
So here he approaches me, and I'm just like, really,
this has never happened to me in my life, where
some guy just approaches me and asks me for my number.
And you know, I know it's happened to several girls,
but this hasn't never happened to me.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
So I say to him.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
He has his food in his hand, and I say
to him, Oh, are you picking up food for yourself
or are you are you driving it to someone? I
wanted to know, is he like an uber driver or
like what.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Does he do for a living? Like who is this guy?
Like is he delivery boy or what?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So? Anyways, he says, no, no, no, I picked up
food for myself. I live in so and so area
and I just really like this restaurant. It's healthy, blah blah.
I said, oh, okay, interesting. I said, well, do you
have an Instagram? And he's like, oh, I just deleted
my Instagram, but I can put up pick it back
(07:34):
up if that if you're if you're more comfortable with
giving me your Instagram. And so he he puts his
Instagram page back up right in front of me in
the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And I watched.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
This all go down, and I see, I see his
Instagram page and he's legit. And I'm thinking, you know,
like he has a legit bus business to where he
has several followers right on Instagram, and I'm thinking, okay,
he's he's you know, he's a legit guy. And so
we exchange Instagram profiles and later that night or that
(08:16):
that yeah, that night he starts messaging me and you know,
no big deal, casual conversation. So the following weekend rolls
around and I don't know, he got in touch somehow whatever,
and he's he's. He says he wants to meet up,
and I'm like, okay, sure, sure we can do that.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That'd be fun.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
You know. Let me see, I had been gone on
a date. God, I can't remember, so I thought, okay, fun.
You know, it's kind of came out of nowhere. It'll
kind of give give my little routine. It was something
like different in my routine, right, So okay, sure, I'm
(08:56):
open to doing this. So Saturday morning rolls around and
he leaves me a voice note on Instagram, and in
my bend, you guys, I'm thinking, oh, he's going to cancel, right,
Like that's the message that I'm going to hear.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
He's just going to cancel.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
But no, he says very politely, like, hey, Jenna, you know,
I'm just trying to figure out the time because I
have to work from so and so timed at this time,
and I don't know what time you like to eat,
but I was thinking dinner. We can get together for
dinner and and you know, it was a very nice message.
So I also he said, otherwise, we can do tomorrow,
(09:36):
which was Sunday, and I said no. I left him
a message back and I said, I can be flexible
today Saturday, because tomorrow I had Sunday, which I had
a business meeting to go to. So I said, I
can be flexible on time today, so seven o'clock would
be fine for me, which he suggested seven. So he
(09:57):
was he's we said okay, So that was all set
and then he like left me a voice not like
a couple hours later, I don't know, around twelve o'clock Saturday,
kind of in between his clients, and he's just like,
how's your day going, you know, just kind of being sweet,
you know, just being sweet, you know, checking in. We
(10:18):
were supposed to meet that night, and and I thought, oh,
he's that sweet, you know, he's checking in. And then
five o'clock rolls around, so here I am just kind
of basically rearranging my day to meet this guy at
seven o'clock that night, and we decided to meet at
the restaurant that we had met at a week prior
(10:38):
because it was just easier. So then around five o'clock
he he messages me and he says, hey, he's like,
my last client just canceled. You want to meet earlier?
And I was like, oh, okay, well I can do
six thirty because you know, I just I had planned seven,
(10:59):
so I had been going on. And he was like,
oh no, that's okay, We'll just we'll just leave seven o'clock.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So I get ready and the restaurant's casual, but you know,
I get ready, I do my makeup and hair.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I you know, I get ready.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
As possible much as possible as I can casually, but
I still want to show up nice.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
So I get ready. I go to the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I get there at like six fifty. I sit in
my car a little bit. I get out of my
car around six fifty five and I'm standing in front.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Of the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
It's cold, you know, it's January. It's it's dark, and
I have my jacket on whatever. So it's I'm standing
outside waiting seven o'clock comes around.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And you know, he's not there.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Okay, no big dill. I'm pretty patient. So seven five
rolls around, seven ten rolls around, and I end up
messaging him on Instagram saying I'm here and I'm thinking
maybe he's inside, you know, So I look inside. He's
not there. So here I am seven to twenty not there,
(12:03):
and I'm thinking to myself, okay, it's this a you
know what, doesn't show up by seven twenty five whatever,
I'm going to just go in and order dinner and start.
So sure enough, as you can probably guess.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
By now, he was a no show.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So which interesting, right, I mean, super communicative throughout the
whole day, throughout the week.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
So I end up going inside and ordering dinner and
eating by myself, which thank god. I like the restaurant,
you guys. I mean, I was like, damn, at least
they have good food, you know, I know.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
The food here.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
So I go in, I eat by myself, and you know,
I want to interject, you know, really quickly, because we
are going to.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Get into the topic.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You know, I have been doing interpersonal work on myself
for literally two decades, and I can honestly say to
you that if this that's what happened to me even
six months to a year ago, I would have been
spiraling like crazy, probably like totally in my head, bashing myself,
(13:12):
you know, making it about me, and you know, who
knows where my mind go to wind. But because I've
been working on myself, I instantly went into the mantra
of this is all happening for me, not to me.
And again I think this goes hand in hand with
our subject today of embracing the unknown, which I'll get into.
(13:36):
I want to finish my story, so I immediately go
into that mantra like.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
This is happening for me, not to me.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
There is definitely a something good that's going to come
out of this, right there always is. There has to
be something, a lesson that's good and positive, and you know,
something that I could take to learn about myself from
this situation. And you know so anyway, so I eat
my dinner. I'm in the car by I don't know,
(14:06):
eight eight o'clock. I ate pretty fast, I was starting
and eight o'clock eight ten, so a fifteen rolls around
and I get a message from this guy saying I
am so sorry, my car got toped with three sad emojis.
So I just was like, really, do you really think
(14:28):
that I'm going to believe this bus?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Like really, Like no, did you just.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Go to your car at a fifteen to get to
a date at seven?
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Like this is total bullshit? Right, So anyways, I don't
know if anybody's.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
On live chat right now, but I've told a handful
of people this story, and two girls said that I
missed a red flag when this guy first approached me.
And I just want to tell you, guys what two
girls picked up on that Clearly I didn't pick up
(15:03):
on because I saw this totally different. I had a
different perspective of this quote unquote red flag. So the
red flag was that when he approached me with for
my number in the restaurant a week prior. The red
flag was that he had deleted his Instagram. And two
girls said to me, that was your red flag, because
(15:26):
anybody that is legit it has like a legit business
that could promote their business on Instagram, why would they
delete their profile?
Speaker 3 (15:35):
So, you guys, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Pick up on that at all. Like I didn't pick
up on that red flag. I looked at it like
kind of a positive thing, to be honest, because I
would rather have a guy that's not hanging out on
Instagram all day, you know. So I thought I would
just share that with you because it's something to kind
of look at if you guys are ever out there
(16:00):
and you know dating and the dating world, and you
want to really pay attention to.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
The social media aspect.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Two girls pointed that out, like, if they are legit
and they have a legit business that can be promoted
on Instagram, they should have their Instagram page up and
their profile up and it should be like public. And
these two girls that picked that up said, the only
reason why he would have deleted it is because he
maybe had done something wrong or who knows. Well, anyways,
(16:31):
I will finish the story of telling you guys that
I did not end up blocking him because I was
just curious, you know, like what the f happened?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Really?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Like I knew in my gut it had to be
around another another girl, right, it had to have been.
So this past weekend, which is now it's it's been
over a month, probably this past weekend, I went on
my Instagram just randomly, and the same guy had posted
(17:04):
a photo of him and his girlfriend or him and
a girl which I'm assuming is his girlfriend because he
made like in his caption, he you know, he basically said.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
My baby or whatever.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You know. So anyways, that's my personal story and then
we'll get into topic.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Okay, So I do have some questions.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Are there more things that maybe red flags to look for?
Oh gosh, good question, Pam. I mean, yeah, there's a
ton a ton of red flags to look for. I mean,
in this scenario, I didn't really have a lot of
time to look for red flags because it was such
a short, you know, instant meeting where I was just
(17:45):
kind of exchanging instagrams. But if you guys want to
talk about red flags, I mean, I feel like as women,
we kind of know in our guts instantly if the
guy is.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Good or not.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know, so if they're really good liars, if they're
really good at keeping who they are at bay, then
it may take a couple months, but not I don't
think it would take six months. If you're really in
tune and you're really honest with yourself, you can tell
when guys have shifty eyes, and like if you're at
a restaurant or something and they're looking around, or they're
(18:22):
always on their phone, or or they turn their phone
off when they're with you, or they're always you know,
looking at social media. Guys are just so they're just
kind of sloppy to be honest, and they will let
you know who they are right off the bat. You
just got to be open and honest with yourself as women,
(18:43):
because I will say to you that, you know, I
will say that I have self abandoned myself so many times.
You guys in relationships just because I didn't want to
see the red flags.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I didn't want to hear them.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I saw other I saw other qualities in them that
I liked, and I wanted to believe that the other
things just weren't significant, I guess enough for me to
not to not be with that guy. So just be
honest with yourself. You know, Jeff, were you interested in him?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I mean I was, you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Know, like I thought it would have just been fun to,
like I said, kind of have a different routine. I
was so hunkered down through December and January, and I
can get pretty deep with myself.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
And get pretty serious, you know, so I thought it
would just be fun. You know.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I wasn't looking at it like, oh, this is my
you know, this is my person. You know. I was
just kind of looking at it for a good, fun
you know night kind of thing. Dave. Was he seeing
the girl and cheating on her or got with her
after he planned on meeting with you. I feel like
(20:00):
he's been seeing this girl for quite a while. That's
the feeling I get. And I feel like he was
maybe cheating on her or maybe they were taking a break.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
And you know, it's funny, Dave.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That night, I thought to myself, he like a girl
must have showed up at his house and he got distracted.
Or one of my girlfriends said that when he messaged
me at five, because you guys, remember he messaged me
at five and said that his last client rescheduled, right,
so my girl, one of my girlfriends said that when
(20:35):
his last client rescheduled and he knew he wasn't meeting
you till seven, that he went out and met with
somebody else, which is maybe it was his girlfriend, and
then he just got distracted. So but I feel like
the girl that he did post, I feel like that's
kind of his girlfriend and he's just a cheater. So
if you're listening, thank you for the content because he
(20:58):
still follows me and I haven't lockedom so you might
listen to this show. Who knows, But thank you for
the content and good luck with your girlfriend. That's what
I have to say. So, but I wanted to switch
back to Pam and let you guys know that. You know,
I do music as well. So I do have a
song on Spotify and it is about toxic relationships and
(21:21):
it's idled real Me back In. So if you guys
want to listen to that, or Pam, if you want
to listen to that.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I do talk about red flags in the show.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
So anyways, yeah, that was my January dating little scenario story.
But you know, I was open to it because, to
be honest, I let two relationships go last year like
(21:52):
August and September, and I kind of.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Cleaned house, you guys.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I literally just was like, I can't do this anymore
with two different guys I was kind of seen off
and on and an ex that kept coming back and
just really me back in, which is my song. And
I finally made a decision that they just can't be
(22:15):
my life anymore. And that was another reason why I
thought that this guy that approached me would have been
fun because I haven't allowed myself to go in and date.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Since August. Yeah, August.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
I was trying to think of that date earlier when
I was talking about my stories. So but that didn't happen.
So but yeah, so I am ready. I feel like
this year is going to be about change, significant change.
I feel it, and everywhere I go, I feel it
in the air I hear people are talking about. I've
(22:54):
had two girls in particular talk to me about change
and how they feel it in their bodies and how
they know that this year needs to be about significant change.
One girl in particular was my hygienis at the dentist,
and she was talking about how she's she's on this
health kick now and she knows that she needs to
(23:16):
let go of some bad bad I call them bad,
but they're just, you know, some habits that need to
be changed. And then another girl I was talking to
last weekend, she feels it, like in her gut that
she needs to shift gears in her career. So I
(23:37):
feel like this year twenty twenty five is about change.
And you know, I'm about about high vibration, right, Everything
is energy, Everything is vibration, even words, even letters, even numbers.
And so one of my mentors told me about the
(23:58):
number nine, which if if you total up twenty twenty
five or the date the year twenty twenty five, it
totals to nine, the number nine, and the number nine
represents a lot. But I'm going to tell you, guys
that share a little bit about the number nine. It's
about completion and fulfillment. It's about letting go. It's about realization, clarity, revelations,
(24:25):
ease of forgiveness, closure, comprehensiveness, feeling, selflessness which means being unattached, compassion,
deep feeling, soul connection which I love, patience, harmony, significant
and powerful. So this year number nine, significant and powerful,
(24:48):
transformation which I love, old soul, wisdom, and service. So
this is all what the number nine, twenty twenty five embodies.
So if any of that read with you, guys, then
this year will be will be some of that, some
of those qualities will be involved with this.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So I thought i would share because I'm into this
kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Like I said, I'm a deep thinker. I'd like to
go into words and what they mean. So but yeah,
so if anybody is anybody feeling changed this year? I'd
love to know share with me where you guys are
at so.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
We could talk about it.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I feel it coming on and I want you guys
to share, So give me a quick second. I'm going
to take a drink of water here.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
I love sparkling water.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I need to make changes, Pam said, Okay, yeah, what
area of your life.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Needs to make change?
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Pam, if you're open and willing to share, please do
I know? For me this year the area of my
life that I would love big shit and changes are
in relationship number one. Everything is relationship first of all,
but in romantic relationships, in friendships.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I need better people in my life. I need more.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Genuine people in my life. I need more truthful people
in my life. I need humor in my life, so
I need that to have change. And I also am
looking at shifting gears. As far as career, I do
real estate, so if you guys don't know that about
(26:38):
me yet, I do real estate here in Orange County.
But this year, I really would love to shift gears.
And since that I got in twenty nineteen, my book
that I wrote, Love Your Body, Love Your Life, and
my platform here and really create something that is significant
in what I'm doing is I'm creating a new website
(27:02):
and I'm going to be offering life coaching for women.
So that's something else that I've been working on all
of December and all of January is shifting gears. So
hopefully by this time next year, I will have a
coaching practice that I could talk to you guys about
and more content because I feel like if we share,
(27:25):
if more women share, then we know where everybody's at
and we can help each other and support each other.
So that's the kind of changes I am looking at
making this year.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
So, Pam, I need to stop dating the wrong guys.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I need to work smarter, not harder, and I need
to get the negative out.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So with that said, let's shift gears into talking about
our subject today, which is embracing the unknown, because I
feel like, let's start out with dating the wrong guys. Okay,
you know I sometimes I'm a writer, Okay, so sometimes
(28:03):
my thoughts come out better if I write. And I'm
going to read this.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
To you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
It's stream of consciousness from what I journaled this morning
based on the topic of embracing the unknown and it
is going to circle back to PAMs dating the wrong
guy's situation.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
I feel.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
So this is stream of consciousness, it's this morning, my journaling.
This is what I wrote, Embracing the unknown. A lot
of it is about being present, keeping the eye on
the inside, keeping one eye on the inside, meaning how
you're feeling, embracing your emotions without judgment, allowing yourself to
feel all emotions are equal. We've been taught to think
(28:44):
that anger and fear are bad, but when when dissected
and redirected, they can be powerful emotions that allow an
opening back to self love and acceptance. Yeah, so embracing
fear can lead us to our magnificence rather than acting
or making decisions from fear, example, staying in a bad
(29:07):
relationship versus embracing the feeling of fear and stepping into.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
A new direction.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Challenging, yes, but empowering for yourself the health of your
mental and psychological self body. Maybe a different perspective. That
was kind of my stream of consciousness this morning, Pam
or whoever's listening, But I wanted to share that because
I see you say you need to stop dating the
wrong guys. So my question is, what's holding you back
(29:37):
from stopping dating the wrong guys. Like my question is,
do you see they're the wrong guys and you keep
dating them because you're afraid of the unknown, or you're
afraid of being by yourself, or you're afraid that you won't.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Meet the right guy. So those are my questions.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
And I wanted to read that because it is scary,
you know, and I'm talking for from myself, my personal experience.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
It is scary to move toward.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
The unknown and not know if a person's going to
walk in your life. And I'll just share with you guys,
I'll be vulnerable. Like I consider myself an only child.
I have half siblings, but I grew up by myself.
So that's kind of like a deep fear of mine,
you know, because I've always been alone, you know. So
(30:28):
I feel like i've that's where I've made my mistakes
in the past. Is I've gravitated toward not the best
guys because I just didn't want to be about myself
and I saw something good in them that I could
hang on to, but I decided not to just like
kind of erase everything that I knew wasn't good for me,
(30:50):
just so I wouldn't be alone, you know, And I
think for lots of years, you know, giving myself grace,
I wasn't aware of that pattern, right, But once I
became aware of it, then it's kind of harder. You know.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
It's like, once you're aware.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Of your shit, you got to like really own up
to it and just make the better decision. So I mean,
just don't do it, Pam. Just get into something else,
Get into a hobby that you love, you know, start
reading books at night, read my book, Love your Body.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Love your Life.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Okay, so he's talking to me now, Pam says, no,
I don't see that they are not genuine until we
are into the relationship. I need to know what to
look for, like the little red flag, so I don't
fall for the fake.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
So there are they covert narcissists? I mean, is that
what they're doing? I mean, because they're really good.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
They're highly manipulative people, and they act like they're so genuine,
so nice, and they're really not.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Pam.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Honestly, the only thing that I could say to you
on the show at this time is you got to
go with your gut. You got to really stay embodied
in your body, so you catch those little gut feelings.
And you know, with that said, let's talk about things
(32:17):
that we can do to stay grounded, because it's easy
to not be in your body, especially if you get
overwhelmed or like caught up in in a bad relationship
or sorry, not caught up in a bad relationship, in
a good relationship where the chemicals of your brain and
(32:39):
all those good hormones are flowing and they're making you
feel so good and you're laughing and you're having a
good time. They're telling you you're beautiful. Like you just
want to be like there, you don't want to even
like catch the red flags, right if they're that charming
and manipulative and they're handsome and you like them and
there's chemistry and all this stuff. It's like you got
(33:02):
to create rituals to get back into your body and
listen to your little voice, listen to that inner voice.
So this is part of embracing the unknown. I feel
like we have to stay grounded in the present time,
and if we're in a situation where we can't, like,
let's say something happens where let's just take this example.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
You know you're in.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
A situation you're on a date, you're with this guy
that's love bombing you or just making you feel like
you're the queen of the earth, you know, and you
just feel great. Let's say you're in that situation and
you can't. You're just your brain is just there.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Really you're not grounded, right, You're not. You're not grounded
in yourself. You're just taken by this situation. I say
that you create rituals to go home and stables, get stable,
get grounded within yourself again, and dissect that situation. So
(34:04):
then you're able to really dissect to see if you
missed any red flags. So what you can do him
or anybody that wants to create a ritual around that
is go home and write. Write exactly what you felt,
what exactly happened in the date, right as soon as
(34:26):
you get home, Just start journaling, journal everything that happened
in the date. You know, how he made you feel,
what you were wearing, what you ate, what.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
He said, what you said.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
And really just stream of consciousness, no editing anything you
want to write. Nobody's going to read what you wrote.
He's never going to read it. It's only your eyes
for your eyes. So I say, write it all down.
That way, you can reread what you wrote to yourself
the following day or even a couple days after all
(34:59):
that hormone rush goes away.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
That's one thing.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Okay, So pamsying exactly, I need to lead with forward
thinking instead of my feeling. See you know, that's really good,
really really good, instead of my feeling. It's so hard
because you are you try, you listen, it's really hard.
The hormones are flying, you know, it's like we get
(35:24):
wrapped up in the moment. So just don't be hard
on yourself. Just create a ritual when you go home.
Right that way, you can reread and come with your
forward thinking later on that the following day or couples days,
and then see if there's any red flags that you
picked up on that you missed, and if you did
(35:46):
pick up on those red.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Flags, then pivot at that moment.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
You know, create a boundary or ask questions to the guy,
you know, ask him what did you mean by this?
Or this made me feel this way? Like is there
reason why you said that? Or can I revisit this?
You know, that was one thing I did say early
on after my divorce in twenty nineteen. I dated a guy.
(36:11):
This is the guy that I dated, the first guy
dated right after my divorce and talking about staying grounded.
You guys, I wasn't in a place where I'm at now,
you know, And I still got to work on it
every day. But I would literally leave my body, like
if there was something that he would say to me,
I would leave my body. It was like I had
(36:33):
no voice, I had no response. And one of my
mentors at the time told me to tell him, you know,
sometimes I might have to revisit conversations.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Okay, so I did.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I dated this guy for six months and I told
him one time at dinner, I said, you know, I'm
really raw at this. I was married for ten years.
I'm really raw dating. I might have to revisit conversation
because I might need a little time to dissect and
process things.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
That we talk about.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So if you don't mind, can I revisit some things
every every now and again. And he was, of course like, yeah,
thank you for saying that, you know, instead of me
just looking at him like you know, a deer in
headlights without anything to say, he respected that, you know that.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
I told him like.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yeah, let's let's can I revisit this. He was like,
of course, we can revisit this anytime. So that's maybe
something that you can say, you know, to your guys
that you're dating, Pam, you know, can I revisit this, you.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Know, in two days or something.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
So anyway, yeah, so I hope that helps you journal
after your dates and see if there's any red flags
that you miss. But let's talk about other rituals that
can help us stay grounded and get us back into
our body when we are faced with something that throws
(37:59):
us off our center, or if we're thinking about the
future too much and we really want to stay present.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
So some things that I wrote to keep us stable
and grounded are salt baths.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
So like I do pink salt, and salt is really
soothing and it actually takes away any kind of like
energy throughout the day. It's really good to you know,
kind of let the let the day go. And I've
probably talked about this on other shows, but it's just
it's it's worth, it's worth. Oh we're five minutes. Gosh,
(38:36):
that went by.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Fast, okay, so really quickly.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Salt bath, prayer, meditation journal, which I talked about talk
to a trusted friend, breath work, mantras and walking, and
it's really learning to stay.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
Present and care and care and just really love.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Into your life at the present time, stay present with
your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
So, yeah, you guys, that's my show on embracing the unknown.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I really appreciate you guys and all your questions today.
I have a lot coming down the pipe in February
and March, so I will be live as soon as
I can again with you guys, but stay tuned for
good things to come in twenty twenty five from me.
So until next time, love your body and love your life.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Take care,
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