September 4, 2025 • 42 mins
Jenna discusses her personal stories of heartbreak, loss and disappointment and how she navigated getting back to loving and flirting with life! This episode is full of relationship insight!
Love Your Body, Love Your Life is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Love Your Body, Love Your Life TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Love Your Body, Love Your Life Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Love Your Body, Love Your Life is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Love Your Body, Love Your Life TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Love Your Body, Love Your Life Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guests should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, welcome to Love Your Body, Love Your Life. My
name is Jenna. I am the host of today's show.
I'm also the author of the book titled Love Your Body,
Love Your Life, Fifty two Tips that will Radically change
your health. And you can find my book on Amazon
and on Barnesandnoble dot com, and there's also a kindle
version on Amazon, so if you want to check that out.
(00:48):
I write a lot about my personal stories in the
book along with fifty two tips health and beauty type
of thing. And so today I'm going to be sharing
some more personal stories based on today's topic. But I
(01:09):
just wanted to say hello, Happy September. First off, how
is your summer? How is your year? I feel like
we're at that point of the year where we need
to be asking ourselves if we're happy with our year,
what's been going on. I know that people in my
(01:29):
life have experienced a lot of change. This year, and
the same for me. I feel like I've experienced change,
all good, all good change. So I don't know about you,
but it feels like a very speedy year as well.
It's gone by really fast. I can't believe it's September.
(01:50):
We're entering the fall season already, and the end of
the year it will approach soon. So I hope you
guys can take inventory on your year, what you want
to do, what's worked for you, and what hasn't worked
for you, and what you want to change moving forward.
So I'm sure we'll touch on that too. And of
(02:12):
course I welcome because I already see a question coming
in or a comment. I always welcome comments and questions
you guys. I absolutely love that you're listening and tuning in.
I really really appreciate it, and I really hope to
be of service to you guys. I really hope that
I bring something to a value. So I encourage questions
(02:36):
and comments, and if I don't get to them right away,
just know that I see them and I will get
to them. So so yeah, so so far. Like I said,
I'm really happy with my year. I have, you know,
been growing my Jena Lobos brand, which is wellness and
(02:57):
beauty and health, and I launched a new website back
in February, and basically I offer coaching for women, one
on one coaching, and the best way I can describe
that work to you is it's therapy plus energy work.
So that's kind of the best way to describe it
in Layman's terms. Everybody's different and we go deep in
(03:22):
whatever is not working for you and what's interfering in
your life. And so that's up if any of you
are interested in a Globus dot com, I've been really
just trying to focus on growing that and like I said,
tweaking it and I have big dreams. I have big
dreams and big visions for the brand. Also, I'm super
(03:45):
excited to announce that I do have a new song
on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, and iHeartRadio. It's called Together.
It is a cover song. I talked all about this
last time I was live, and if you guys are
interested in knowing the history on why I chose that song,
(04:06):
you can listen back to my episode about three weeks
ago where I just kind of talked about getting in
the studio and recording. And it's basically a song that's
really close to my heart because it the lead singer
of this band went to school with my mom and dad.
(04:26):
So that's all I will say today about it. But
it is up if you guys want to check it out.
It's called Together. It's on all of the music outlets, YouTube, Spotify, iHeartRadio,
Apple Music, so I'm excited. Thank you, Larry. There's the
(04:47):
link right there to the YouTube to the song on YouTube,
So if you guys want to check it out, Rebel,
just put the link up. So thank you for that.
So let me just get to your comments and then
I'll dive into today's subject, Betty, things are going okay good.
I'm so happy to hear that, Betty. Good for you, Kevin.
(05:10):
I don't know where the year has gone so far.
This time is flying by. I know, I agree, totally agree.
It's I can't believe it's September. Beth. I like how
you get personal and real. H We're gonna get personal today, Beth.
You just wait, so thank you for that. Larry. It's
a good. It's good to follow your dreams, Yes it is, Larry,
(05:32):
and I really encourage everyone to follow their dreams. Don't
be afraid to dream. Big. You know, I with the
music thing. If I wouldn't have had a mentor encourage me,
I would have gotten in my head about it, and
I wouldn't have followed my heart. I would have talked
myself out of taking my little poetry and my songwriting
(05:57):
to an actual studio and seeing if I had anything there.
I would have just not done that if somebody, if
my mentor wouldn't have told me, do it? Like, what
are you waiting for? You know? Life is short kind
of thing, and so for sure, follow your dreams and
don't be afraid to start over no matter where you're
(06:17):
at in life, truly, like, no matter your chronological age,
no matter your circumstance, always know that you can start
over today today, Literally, you can start over today. You
can make the call, you can get out and do
something new, you can follow whatever's in your heart of hearts,
and honestly, guys, I truly believe that now more than ever.
(06:41):
So I think with that said, I will get into
today's subjects because I have had to start over so
many times, like truly, and I feel like heartbreak has
always been the catalyst for me to start over. And
so with that said, the title of today's show again
(07:03):
is Flirting with life after heartbreak, loss or disappointment. And
I looked up the title, I'm sorry the definition of flirting,
and basically it's playfulness and lightheartedness, right, and so they
get more into the definition of course, but those two
words I feel popped out of me. Playfulness and lightheartedness.
(07:27):
And after heartbreak, especially devastation, heartbreak, like true devastation, it's
hard to get back into that state of mind, you know,
just to be playful with life and flirt with life
and be open hearted and allow yourself to love again.
And so yeah, so I decided that I'm going to
(07:49):
take you guys back to my first heartbreak. I was
eighteen when I moved out of the house. I didn't
have true stability, I guess I can say growing up.
I know I've probably mentioned that on previous shows. So
at eighteen, I decided that I needed to move out,
(08:13):
and something happened in my home that it was kind
of like okay, that was it, like kind of last
straw thing, and I knew I just I needed to
get out. And my dad wasn't really in my life
growing up. And now we're great, we're tight, We have
(08:35):
a great relationship. But back when I was a kid,
I'd see him, but then I wouldn't see him, you know.
It was kind of like an off and on relationship.
And I remember having to call my dad at eighteen
going on nineteen and asking him for help to move
out of where my mom and I had lived were living.
(08:57):
And I was so afraid of you guys, Like I
was so scared to call him and ask for help.
But I was a kid, you know. I was a
senior in high school. I had just graduated, and I
had like a little like our tender like I was.
I was a appetizer waitress in a bar Okay, and
(09:19):
one of my cousins, my older cousin, worked there as
a cocktail waitress, and so she got me in as
an appetizer waitress. And that was good for me because
I could work with her at night and make tips
for extra money, and then I could go to school.
Like my plan was to go to college right during
the day and then work there at night. And it
(09:41):
was good for me at that time because, like I said,
you can make tips. So at that time I knew
I needed to move. And I will say that bless
my dad's heart because he always came through at like
the times where I needed him the most. It was
almost like he knew and too, like I needed him.
(10:02):
And so if I look back in my history, like
he was always there like when I, like I said,
when I needed him, like I was in dire straits,
because other than that, I would never call to ask
for help. I would figure it out on my own.
So I'm nineteen, I have to move out and pay
rent and do the whole adult thing, and I need
(10:24):
a roommate, okay, And none of my girlfriends had this
kind of situation where they needed to move out of
their family's house. So I asked my high school boyfriend
to move in with me. Not proud, okay, not proud
of that, but at the time I had no choice.
(10:45):
In my mind, I really had no choice. I had
to have help with the rent, and he was the
only one that I knew that didn't really like where
he lived per se, he had easier than I did.
I will say that. But we connected on the basis
of like like kind of like our childhood traumas right,
(11:09):
like we were like us against the world kind of thing,
you know, Like looking back, that was kind of the
energy around our relationship. And but we were like in love, right.
We were high school sweethearts. We were we were young,
we didn't know any better, and so he agreed, he
agreed to move in with me. And it was a
(11:30):
sad situation, you guys. You know, we had like a
mattress on the floor, you know, like didn't even have
a bed, like I think we I don't know how
we got a couch and a TV. Somebody probably gave
it to us. But like I said, I was working
full time and I was trying to go to college
full time and here I was playing house with this
(11:52):
high school sweetheart boyfriend at nineteen and you know, I'm
a girl, right, and so so in my mind, I
thought this was it, you know, this, this was it
for me. I was going to marry this guy. We
were going to have kids. It was going to be
like the whole that was it. That was going to
be my life, you know. And yeah, so so we're together,
(12:18):
we're living together, and he gets a job at a
music store, which was a pretty good drive away from
our apartment where we lived. And it was a good
job though he had. He was making better money and
he was going to paramedic school at that time. He
wanted to be a paramedic, and I got an assistant
(12:41):
job to a realtor and I was going to school
full time. So we were doing pretty well, I feel like,
as far as money was concerned. And so one day
we were this was about let's say, probably two years
in right, two years in of let's see, I was
nineteen twenty, so it was a yeah, it was a
(13:03):
good year, i'd say, of living together. It was a
good year. It was before my twenty first birthday, I
know that for sure, So it was a probably a
good year and a half. We had been living together,
and we were at his grandmother's house, and his grandma
had this like back room where the TV was and
(13:23):
the couch was, and like it was kind of like
a den where you could just hang out and watch TV.
And then the rest of the house was like in
the front, right, So we were in the way back
of the house and I won't say his name, but
his grandma said, you know, so and so, like you
have somebody here for you at the door, and he
(13:46):
immediately looks at me and he's like stay here, And
I was like why, He's like, just stay here, and
I was like, that was weird. He had never talked
to me like that, you know, And so of course
I didn't stay in that room. You know, I'm twenty
years old, you know, and I'm like, I'm not going
to stay here in this room, like especially now that
(14:07):
you're telling me to stay here, because you don't want
me to see who's at the door. So from the
back room you can go like the back way, you
can sneak into like the rooms from like like so
in other words, he wasn't gonna be able to see
that I was like coming out to look. So I
of course went this other way and went into his
room where I could see outside like peek, and you guys,
(14:32):
literally I peeked out the window and he was kissing
another girl, like really, like what, oh my god, daggers right,
daggers in my heart. She was in a car. She
I guess had gotten in her car and he was
kissing her from the window, like his whole head was
(14:53):
in her car, kissing her. And I was like devastated, devastated,
like yes, like right there, Danny says, like right there, yeah,
right there in front of my face. And I was
twenty years old, At this point, I my whole world
flashed through my face, like right in front of my eyes,
(15:13):
right because I thought, oh my, oh my god, I'm
literally living with the guy, and now where am I
going to go? Or who's going to help me? For rent? Like, oh,
is this it? We're breaking up? Like just all of
the things. Right, if you know the heartbreak and you've
been through it, you guys know what it's like, especially
(15:34):
as women. I don't know about men, but I'll get
to your questions. So that was my first heartbreak I
had to I don't even know how I did it,
but I do remember that I was borrowing actually my
dad's car at that point. At that time, I had
gotten into a car accident in my VW Bug, my Bolkswagen,
(15:57):
and my dad had lent me. My hit his car,
and I remember, I don't even know where I went
to be honest, I'm trying to remember, because I left
that house crying, falling, and I didn't even know where
I was going to go, right, I just knew I
needed to get to a phone. I probably went back
to my apartment and I was trying to get a
hold of my mom and she was in Hawaii. My
(16:20):
mom was in Hawaii at that time with her friend vacation,
and I got hold of her friend in Hawaii and
my mom actually flew home. My mom was living in
a studio apartment, and long story short, I had to
move back to my mom's house in the studio apartment. Okay, devastation,
(16:41):
you guys. My whole world was turned upside down. And
so that was my first heartbreak. And let's see. I
guess I'll stop and ask answer some questions before we
get into what I did from there. So let's see, Jean,
do you feel most of us get in our own heads?
And how can we realize we are doing it? For sure? Yeah,
(17:04):
we all do that, Gene. You can realize that you're
doing it if you're having fear based thoughts and you're
like telling if basically it's anything about like let's say
you want to do something and you continue to have
these racing thoughts of no, I can't do this because
(17:24):
of this, I can't do this because of that or whatever.
That's your mind. That's truly being in your head and
not in your heart, not your body. It's more your mind,
your soulful self, right, your bigger, true soulful self has
really no fear. It already knows why you're here and
you have a bigger purpose and all of that. But
that's a complete different conversation for today's show. But I
(17:47):
just wanted to address that that question. And let's see, Cam,
what nerve did you want to rip this? Oh? My god,
his lips off? No, I know, right, Cam, I know.
I was so you guys, it was a big deal.
It really was. I both in my mom and my
(18:10):
dad had to go talk to his grandma at one
point because I had to get my stuff back. I
did not want to see the guy. I was just
so heartbreaking, heartbroken, Lacy, how long was it going on? Okay?
So I found out that this woman was an older
woman that he had met at the music store that
(18:31):
he was working at. I mentioned, Yeah, like I said,
we were twenty, and I just all I knew was
that she was older and he had been foolen around
with her. So I don't really know to this day
how old she was or anything else, like if she
(18:51):
was married or I really have no idea to this
day anything about that. And by the way, I'm totally
okay with this guy now, Like he literally like facebooked
me two years ago and said happy birthday. I always
think of you. And what's interesting is that he's married
with like I think four kids now and I think,
(19:17):
so okay, let me just finish up here, Ausuer, Sorry
you had to go through all that. Are you better now? Absolutely? Yeah,
I'm so good, so good now, Thank you, Asher Francis.
Did they get together after you left him? I feel
like they probably fooled around. I feel like I don't
know why, but my gut says that she was probably
(19:39):
married or had somebody else. And I feel like it
was just kind of like I mean, granted, I mean
to his defense, you guys, he was twenty years old.
How I can't be mad at that now, right, Like
he had to go and explore and do his thing,
and thank god he did. Like I don't want kids now,
(20:01):
like I don't want that life at all. So getting
to our subject like flirting with life after heartbreaking disappointment,
I just want to say that looking back everything, Like
what am I trying to say here? I just know
now that it all happened the way it was supposed to,
(20:24):
just like I taught told Jean, like I always talk
about this, you guys and I'll say it again. You
have to really trust life. You have to trust your
own being, your own flow, and even these big, heartbreaking,
devastating moments have a purpose. You know, his sister, my
high school sweetheart's sister, and I actually became really amazing
(20:50):
close friends. So listen to this. So after I ended
up going back and living with my mom in this
studio apartment, was happy about this. Okay, literally two women
living in a studio apartment. I was twenty years old.
I don't want to be with my parents. First of all,
I wanted freedom. I had a car, you know, all
(21:12):
of that, and here we are in a studio apartment,
like on top of each other. Like I didn't like that,
but there served a purpose there. You know, I had
gained a lot of weight when I was living I
was playing house with this guy. And my mom has
always been into fitness and healthy eating and stuff like that.
(21:33):
So now I'm living with her, and she, you know,
we started going to the gym together. I started eating
healthy again, and just like you know, the weight fell off.
I was starting to feel better about myself till that
served a purpose that was good for me and my
health and my well being and everything now that I
(21:53):
talk about, because that got me on this health journey.
Since my early twenties. I've been on this health kick.
I dropped off a little bit at twenty five to thirty,
which that's a whole other story about a heartbreak and
a situation. But I dropped off a little bit of
(22:14):
my health kick from twenty five to thirty. But other
than that, I've been pretty clean since my twenties. But so, okay,
so I get on this health journey. I get on
this kick. I go to the start going to the gym.
I'm feeling better about myself. And my high school sweetheart's
sister knew the whole situation right, And I was out
(22:38):
of work at this time. I was living studio apartment,
I was going to college. I was trying to you know,
get my my my college in. I didn't know what
the heck I was going to do with my life.
And his sister calls me. We had we didn't have
cell phones at that time. We had just regular phones.
(22:59):
And she called me and she offers me a job. Okay,
she offers me a receptionist job at a mortgage company.
And she talked to me, you guys, she was like,
I'm so sorry for his behavior. I love you as
a sister. You know, I want my company is hiring,
(23:19):
and I knew you're you needed the money, so I
wanted to offer you this opportunity. And I was like, yes,
one hundred percent, yes, I needed to work. And she
got me this. She basically got me into, you know,
the interview for the receptionist at a mortgage company. And
from there I worked. I worked as a receptionist for
(23:43):
I think two to two and a half years. I
got my real estate license, I learned the ropes in
mortgage and real estate. I ended up living with her
for a little while, like a good while, having my
own room there, and she was teaching me the ropes
with mortgage and real estate, and basically, you guys, that
(24:05):
was my career from for like good fifteen years and
I did well. I've done well, so again, trusting right,
that heartbreak and that devastation turned into what was meant
for me without knowing him and without living with him,
(24:29):
and without getting to know his sister on a personal
level and her getting to know me, and then she
just happened to be a realtor and in mortgage. I mean,
you know, what I mean, just looking back at just
the timeline and the time frame of how that all
went down and how I was supposed to just be
(24:50):
at the right at that place, at the right time,
just being the right the right company, and it just
rolled out that way. So I really appreciate me being
able to talk about it with you guys, because I
went on to you know, get married my ex husband,
(25:11):
and I feel like, you know, your first heartbreak is
is devastating, right, Like it's just there's I will never
forget it. I'm happy it happened because, like I said,
it propelled me into my career. But my ex husband,
(25:34):
the one that heartbreak that i've is more recent. I
can tell you that that was has been the worst,
just the worst ever in my life. Like I feel
like it's been the worst because I really felt that
I had met my person. I really trusted this guy,
(25:58):
and just just so to be open with you guys,
I've been really lucky with career and financially and other
things in my life, but as far as like love
and romance, big pain point for me, big pain point,
just to let you know, I know, I know why now.
(26:21):
Thank God, this has been my work, my I've gotten
onto this spiritual path of getting to know myself more.
And I know why I didn't have the picture of
two parents that showed me love and showed me the
way it was supposed to be. Like I mentioned, I
(26:42):
really my dad was in and out of my life.
It was really hard growing up with my mom. Not
a lot of stability, like I've said, and I as
a kid, your sponge, right, you pick up the messages
around you. I mean, unless you're super, super lucky and
you have two parents that are healthy, a healthy dynamic,
(27:06):
and they show you the way of the world, and
they show you healthy relationship and how that they love
each other and that you know, this solid foundation of
a home. I mean, good for you if that's what
you experienced. I did not. I absolutely did not chaos fighting,
(27:29):
just you guys. I mean, that's a whole other show.
But my point is I picked up the message that
love was love had to hurt, love was chaotic. I
wasn't good enough, you know, just your sponge as a kid,
and I picked up those messages. And my work has
(27:51):
been to undo that dialogue in my in my head.
And that's taken me years. It's taken me years to
undo that negative self talk and those beliefs, you know,
and I still, you know, I have to be honest.
I still have to watch myself because it's easy. That
(28:13):
foundation was laid as a kid, and you just pick
up these messages and you start thinking these things about
yourself that are untrue, that are completely untrue. And so again,
you know, I talk about the silver lining and everything
because again, thank God for my childhood and me finding
these mentors and me getting onto a spiritual path and
(28:35):
me understanding myself better and me being going through these
heartbreaks because now I'm able to be in service and
talk about it and coach women one on one and
get deep and I understand all these feelings that come
with hard, toxic relationships. Truly, the story that I shared
(28:58):
my nineteen year old heartbreak, I will say he wasn't toxic.
Like truly, I don't feel like that relationship was toxic.
You guys, we were just young. Like again, I don't
hate the guy. I would say hi to him, give
him a hug. Now, you know, like I feel like
I know his sister. I feel like I love his sister.
(29:21):
She's like a friend of mine. Today I could pick
up the phone and call her today. So no hard
feelings at all. I just feel like we were young.
But after that, I did get myself into toxic or sure.
My next big relationship after that was with an alcoholic
(29:44):
That was fun. I'm kidding it was. It was in
my twenties. It was after this heartbreak. I just ended
up with somebody that drank a lot. And that's when
I when I said, I fell off my healthy like
I'm the health wagon. And from twenty five to thirty
(30:04):
I partied because I was with this other guy and
it was toxic in the fact that I really you guys,
I went to ellen On. I tried to like fix
it because again I felt like I needed to The
picture that I saw growing up was that I needed
(30:26):
to overgive to receive love. I needed to fix my
environment for me to feel safe, you know. So all
these messages came through as a kid, and so of
course he fell right in line with my programming, and
so I tried to go to ellen On. You know,
I was this good girl and I tried to help
(30:48):
him and I loved him through all this suffering that
he went through, and I felt like, how could he
not love me? Because I'm with him through all this suffering,
like really, So that was my next relationship. And then
after that I met my ex husband and O MG,
(31:09):
you guys, now that I don't even probably have enough
time to go through that whole story. I'm probably just
gonna go through that in another episode because that one's
pretty deep. I will tell you that he's a master manipulator.
So if anybody has experienced that, I really fell for
(31:31):
the fact that he cared for me and he didn't.
He didn't And how did I find that out? Through
a mentor. She saw, she saw the bigger pictures. She saw,
she saw that I was being emotionally I hate to
use this word, but abused it was. He was definitely
(31:52):
emotionally unavailable and just a manipulator. And I really thought
that he cared for me and he did not, And
I thank god had a mentor at the time see it,
and she lovingly helped me get through this relationship and
finally have the courage to ask for a divorce. These
(32:15):
kind of people are really really good at manipulating because
they get to know you so well. They get to
know your what makes you tick and your insecurities, and
they act like they really love and care for you,
but they also use your insecurities against you, and to
(32:37):
the point where he tried to turn my At this
point in my life, I had a relationship with my dad,
and that to me is sacred because I didn't have
a relationship with my dad growing up, and this person
in my life try to throw me under the bus
with my dad, my own dad. It was bad, you guys,
(32:59):
It was really bad. And it's it's it's really hard
as somebody. I'm super sensitive and I'm an impact, so
it's really hard for me to be mean or hate
a person that I spend so much time with. And
it's really if they call it a cognitive dissonance is
(33:22):
the psychological term where these people they act nice and
they do nice things, like they'll buy you gifts, or
they'll they'll show you love, they'll they'll embrace you, they will,
you know, say all the right things, but they have
an agenda, and so your brain gets confused because here
(33:46):
they are treating you nice sometimes and because I didn't
get the love as a kid, I really needed this love,
you know. It's like I'm human, right, And so your
brain gets confused because you want to believe like, oh wait,
but they were nice to me today. They were you know,
they said all the right things, they cuddled me, they
(34:08):
said they had my back, you know, but they don't.
And so that was the relationship that I experienced with
this ex person, and that heartbreak really tore me down
because the year that I finally got the courage to
leave was twenty nineteen, end of twenty nineteen, and then
(34:29):
in January of twenty twenty, right before COVID, I lost
my dog, who was my little soulmate. Oh I just
love my dog, you guys. And so then lockdown came
through and I was grieving the divorce and my loss
(34:49):
of my dog, and so the nineteen year old heartbreak
was nothing compared to this zero. Like I just was devastated.
I couldn't move, like I didn't want to move off
the couch. And thankfully I had started this show. It
was I feel like I was on iHeartRadio. It was
(35:12):
just a radio show for a long time during twenty nineteen,
and then it was just coming online as a TV
show during COVID. So I really poured myself into that.
I have a lot of shows on iHeartRadio and Spotify.
If you guys want to ever look back. But so
we're running. I know we're getting to the end of
our time, and I just want to say that again.
(35:36):
I can sit here and tell you that this breakup,
this divorce is still you know, something that I grieve.
Every once in a while, I'll have a good cry,
you know, just to let it out. But I feel good,
you guys, I feel good. I'm healthy. I was really skinny.
(36:00):
I got really skinny in that relationship because my body
was trying to tell me that something was off. I
just and I knew it in my gut. You always
know it in your gut. But I didn't want to
believe that this person that I had put all of
my heart and my soul and my trust in that
he just wasn't good for me. I didn't want to
(36:21):
believe that. And so the silver lining in all this
is that he did remind me that I love to
sing because he's a musician. And I feel like the
three heartbreaks that I've talked about, I have other relationship stories,
but the three heartbreaks that I did talk about today
(36:42):
is if I'm honest with myself, each of them, what
they really wanted to show me was that I got
this right, like I can be my own best friend,
I can show myself love, I can sit with my emotions,
because that's one thing that you know. Again, I didn't
want to sit with my emotions. I wanted to just
(37:04):
have somebody there, you know, whether it was healthy or not.
But at the time, of course, I didn't see that.
And this is just now a reflection looking back after
all this self work that I've done, that I'm okay.
I'm okay by myself. I have my singing, I have
this show. I have you guys that I can now,
(37:25):
you know, be in service to. Like I said, I
do my coaching with one on one with women. I write,
you know, I seeing I speak. I have other things
happening in my life and I feel good, and of
course I would love a healthy relationship. I feel like
I'm ready for a healthy relationship more so than ever
(37:48):
in my life. I feel like I'm finally whole in
my own self and I won't be looking for somebody
else to fill any voids, and so I welcome that.
But I'm good either way. I'm good either way, And
so to anybody that is struggling with heartbreak and not
(38:11):
understanding why. I feel like it's really trying to get
you to you more, to you, to your soulful self,
to your true path, to your heart of hearts, to
what you're supposed to be here and experience in life.
And I know it's uncomfortable and hard, and I hope
if you are going through heartbreak that you have friends
(38:34):
and family to lean on. My heartbreak through COVID, I
couldn't lean on really anybody, right, everybody was in lockdown.
I lost my dog. It was just really really it
was just it felt so like slow. It was like,
oh my god, another day of this, Like what am
(38:54):
I going to get through this day? But you do.
You get through it. You do get through the hard times.
And I also will say that all of these experiences
have reminded me how strong I am emotionally and mentally.
I've had to really navigate people that have tried to
(39:19):
mess with my mind emotionally, and that's the god honest truth.
People around me have really tried to manipulate my mind.
You know, just going to say it like it is,
and we can probably talk more about that too, if
you guys ever want to. But I've had to really
stay in my own lane, figure out my own what
(39:40):
I feel like, teach myself do I feel this or
is this somebody else wanting me to feel this? If
that makes any sense. Like, I've had to really teach
myself what I like and what I don't like and
put up boundaries around people that I know in my
gut are not good for me. And so anyways, let's
(40:03):
let's see what did I miss here? Dana, You are
not in your thirties, No way, I am not. I
am not in my thirties. But thank you, Wendy. Will
that show contain triggers? I don't know what show we
were talking about, maybe something that I was going to
(40:25):
talk about, but probably maybe yeah, I apologize. Oh okay,
thank you, Rebel. Probably I will probably talk about my
ex husband one day and I'll tell you guys all
about that, and it might it might contain triggers, and
so just be be warned. Jeremy, how long was the marriage? Uh,
(40:48):
we were married for ten years and so it was
a pretty long time. But I was with him for
about thirteen and jan That sounds like a good topic. Okay,
so a good topic. I hope Rebel will remind me
to talk about the X. Do you guys want to
hear about the X, the X relationship, the ex marriage,
the ex husband. If so, you can always DM me
(41:11):
Because it's five minutes, I'm gonna end the show. Please
you guys follow me on Instagram at Jena Lobos. Dm
me any questions, comments you want to hear on this show.
My website's Jenolobos dot com, but you can easily find
me on Instagram at Jena Lobos. So, I hope you
(41:32):
enjoyed today's show you, guys. I hope I brought you
some value. If you're going through heartbreak, it will be okay.
It will be okay. The more you sit with your feelings,
the easier and the faster it will go. It will
move through your body. Find a mentor find me Gena
Lobos dot com. And until next time, love your body
(41:53):
and love your life.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Take care, bye, Take back
Speaker 2 (42:07):
To get back the bat back
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guests should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, welcome to Love Your Body, Love Your Life. My
name is Jenna. I am the host of today's show.
I'm also the author of the book titled Love Your Body,
Love Your Life, Fifty two Tips that will Radically change
your health. And you can find my book on Amazon
and on Barnesandnoble dot com, and there's also a kindle
version on Amazon, so if you want to check that out.
(00:48):
I write a lot about my personal stories in the
book along with fifty two tips health and beauty type
of thing. And so today I'm going to be sharing
some more personal stories based on today's topic. But I
(01:09):
just wanted to say hello, Happy September. First off, how
is your summer? How is your year? I feel like
we're at that point of the year where we need
to be asking ourselves if we're happy with our year,
what's been going on. I know that people in my
(01:29):
life have experienced a lot of change. This year, and
the same for me. I feel like I've experienced change,
all good, all good change. So I don't know about you,
but it feels like a very speedy year as well.
It's gone by really fast. I can't believe it's September.
(01:50):
We're entering the fall season already, and the end of
the year it will approach soon. So I hope you
guys can take inventory on your year, what you want
to do, what's worked for you, and what hasn't worked
for you, and what you want to change moving forward.
So I'm sure we'll touch on that too. And of
(02:12):
course I welcome because I already see a question coming
in or a comment. I always welcome comments and questions
you guys. I absolutely love that you're listening and tuning in.
I really really appreciate it, and I really hope to
be of service to you guys. I really hope that
I bring something to a value. So I encourage questions
(02:36):
and comments, and if I don't get to them right away,
just know that I see them and I will get
to them. So so yeah, so so far. Like I said,
I'm really happy with my year. I have, you know,
been growing my Jena Lobos brand, which is wellness and
(02:57):
beauty and health, and I launched a new website back
in February, and basically I offer coaching for women, one
on one coaching, and the best way I can describe
that work to you is it's therapy plus energy work.
So that's kind of the best way to describe it
in Layman's terms. Everybody's different and we go deep in
(03:22):
whatever is not working for you and what's interfering in
your life. And so that's up if any of you
are interested in a Globus dot com, I've been really
just trying to focus on growing that and like I said,
tweaking it and I have big dreams. I have big
dreams and big visions for the brand. Also, I'm super
(03:45):
excited to announce that I do have a new song
on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, and iHeartRadio. It's called Together.
It is a cover song. I talked all about this
last time I was live, and if you guys are
interested in knowing the history on why I chose that song,
(04:06):
you can listen back to my episode about three weeks
ago where I just kind of talked about getting in
the studio and recording. And it's basically a song that's
really close to my heart because it the lead singer
of this band went to school with my mom and dad.
(04:26):
So that's all I will say today about it. But
it is up if you guys want to check it out.
It's called Together. It's on all of the music outlets, YouTube, Spotify, iHeartRadio,
Apple Music, so I'm excited. Thank you, Larry. There's the
(04:47):
link right there to the YouTube to the song on YouTube,
So if you guys want to check it out, Rebel,
just put the link up. So thank you for that.
So let me just get to your comments and then
I'll dive into today's subject, Betty, things are going okay good.
I'm so happy to hear that, Betty. Good for you, Kevin.
(05:10):
I don't know where the year has gone so far.
This time is flying by. I know, I agree, totally agree.
It's I can't believe it's September. Beth. I like how
you get personal and real. H We're gonna get personal today, Beth.
You just wait, so thank you for that. Larry. It's
a good. It's good to follow your dreams, Yes it is, Larry,
(05:32):
and I really encourage everyone to follow their dreams. Don't
be afraid to dream. Big. You know, I with the
music thing. If I wouldn't have had a mentor encourage me,
I would have gotten in my head about it, and
I wouldn't have followed my heart. I would have talked
myself out of taking my little poetry and my songwriting
(05:57):
to an actual studio and seeing if I had anything there.
I would have just not done that if somebody, if
my mentor wouldn't have told me, do it? Like, what
are you waiting for? You know? Life is short kind
of thing, and so for sure, follow your dreams and
don't be afraid to start over no matter where you're
(06:17):
at in life, truly, like, no matter your chronological age,
no matter your circumstance, always know that you can start
over today today, Literally, you can start over today. You
can make the call, you can get out and do
something new, you can follow whatever's in your heart of hearts,
and honestly, guys, I truly believe that now more than ever.
(06:41):
So I think with that said, I will get into
today's subjects because I have had to start over so
many times, like truly, and I feel like heartbreak has
always been the catalyst for me to start over. And
so with that said, the title of today's show again
(07:03):
is Flirting with life after heartbreak, loss or disappointment. And
I looked up the title, I'm sorry the definition of flirting,
and basically it's playfulness and lightheartedness, right, and so they
get more into the definition of course, but those two
words I feel popped out of me. Playfulness and lightheartedness.
(07:27):
And after heartbreak, especially devastation, heartbreak, like true devastation, it's
hard to get back into that state of mind, you know,
just to be playful with life and flirt with life
and be open hearted and allow yourself to love again.
And so yeah, so I decided that I'm going to
(07:49):
take you guys back to my first heartbreak. I was
eighteen when I moved out of the house. I didn't
have true stability, I guess I can say growing up.
I know I've probably mentioned that on previous shows. So
at eighteen, I decided that I needed to move out,
(08:13):
and something happened in my home that it was kind
of like okay, that was it, like kind of last
straw thing, and I knew I just I needed to
get out. And my dad wasn't really in my life
growing up. And now we're great, we're tight, We have
(08:35):
a great relationship. But back when I was a kid,
I'd see him, but then I wouldn't see him, you know.
It was kind of like an off and on relationship.
And I remember having to call my dad at eighteen
going on nineteen and asking him for help to move
out of where my mom and I had lived were living.
(08:57):
And I was so afraid of you guys, Like I
was so scared to call him and ask for help.
But I was a kid, you know. I was a
senior in high school. I had just graduated, and I
had like a little like our tender like I was.
I was a appetizer waitress in a bar Okay, and
(09:19):
one of my cousins, my older cousin, worked there as
a cocktail waitress, and so she got me in as
an appetizer waitress. And that was good for me because
I could work with her at night and make tips
for extra money, and then I could go to school.
Like my plan was to go to college right during
the day and then work there at night. And it
(09:41):
was good for me at that time because, like I said,
you can make tips. So at that time I knew
I needed to move. And I will say that bless
my dad's heart because he always came through at like
the times where I needed him the most. It was
almost like he knew and too, like I needed him.
(10:02):
And so if I look back in my history, like
he was always there like when I, like I said,
when I needed him, like I was in dire straits,
because other than that, I would never call to ask
for help. I would figure it out on my own.
So I'm nineteen, I have to move out and pay
rent and do the whole adult thing, and I need
(10:24):
a roommate, okay, And none of my girlfriends had this
kind of situation where they needed to move out of
their family's house. So I asked my high school boyfriend
to move in with me. Not proud, okay, not proud
of that, but at the time I had no choice.
(10:45):
In my mind, I really had no choice. I had
to have help with the rent, and he was the
only one that I knew that didn't really like where
he lived per se, he had easier than I did.
I will say that. But we connected on the basis
of like like kind of like our childhood traumas right,
(11:09):
like we were like us against the world kind of thing,
you know, Like looking back, that was kind of the
energy around our relationship. And but we were like in love, right.
We were high school sweethearts. We were we were young,
we didn't know any better, and so he agreed, he
agreed to move in with me. And it was a
(11:30):
sad situation, you guys. You know, we had like a
mattress on the floor, you know, like didn't even have
a bed, like I think we I don't know how
we got a couch and a TV. Somebody probably gave
it to us. But like I said, I was working
full time and I was trying to go to college
full time and here I was playing house with this
(11:52):
high school sweetheart boyfriend at nineteen and you know, I'm
a girl, right, and so so in my mind, I
thought this was it, you know, this, this was it
for me. I was going to marry this guy. We
were going to have kids. It was going to be
like the whole that was it. That was going to
be my life, you know. And yeah, so so we're together,
(12:18):
we're living together, and he gets a job at a
music store, which was a pretty good drive away from
our apartment where we lived. And it was a good
job though he had. He was making better money and
he was going to paramedic school at that time. He
wanted to be a paramedic, and I got an assistant
(12:41):
job to a realtor and I was going to school
full time. So we were doing pretty well, I feel like,
as far as money was concerned. And so one day
we were this was about let's say, probably two years
in right, two years in of let's see, I was
nineteen twenty, so it was a yeah, it was a
(13:03):
good year, i'd say, of living together. It was a
good year. It was before my twenty first birthday, I
know that for sure, So it was a probably a
good year and a half. We had been living together,
and we were at his grandmother's house, and his grandma
had this like back room where the TV was and
(13:23):
the couch was, and like it was kind of like
a den where you could just hang out and watch TV.
And then the rest of the house was like in
the front, right, So we were in the way back
of the house and I won't say his name, but
his grandma said, you know, so and so, like you
have somebody here for you at the door, and he
(13:46):
immediately looks at me and he's like stay here, And
I was like why, He's like, just stay here, and
I was like, that was weird. He had never talked
to me like that, you know, And so of course
I didn't stay in that room. You know, I'm twenty
years old, you know, and I'm like, I'm not going
to stay here in this room, like especially now that
(14:07):
you're telling me to stay here, because you don't want
me to see who's at the door. So from the
back room you can go like the back way, you
can sneak into like the rooms from like like so
in other words, he wasn't gonna be able to see
that I was like coming out to look. So I
of course went this other way and went into his
room where I could see outside like peek, and you guys,
(14:32):
literally I peeked out the window and he was kissing
another girl, like really, like what, oh my god, daggers right,
daggers in my heart. She was in a car. She
I guess had gotten in her car and he was
kissing her from the window, like his whole head was
(14:53):
in her car, kissing her. And I was like devastated, devastated,
like yes, like right there, Danny says, like right there, yeah,
right there in front of my face. And I was
twenty years old, At this point, I my whole world
flashed through my face, like right in front of my eyes,
(15:13):
right because I thought, oh my, oh my god, I'm
literally living with the guy, and now where am I
going to go? Or who's going to help me? For rent? Like, oh,
is this it? We're breaking up? Like just all of
the things. Right, if you know the heartbreak and you've
been through it, you guys know what it's like, especially
(15:34):
as women. I don't know about men, but I'll get
to your questions. So that was my first heartbreak I
had to I don't even know how I did it,
but I do remember that I was borrowing actually my
dad's car at that point. At that time, I had
gotten into a car accident in my VW Bug, my Bolkswagen,
(15:57):
and my dad had lent me. My hit his car,
and I remember, I don't even know where I went
to be honest, I'm trying to remember, because I left
that house crying, falling, and I didn't even know where
I was going to go, right, I just knew I
needed to get to a phone. I probably went back
to my apartment and I was trying to get a
hold of my mom and she was in Hawaii. My
(16:20):
mom was in Hawaii at that time with her friend vacation,
and I got hold of her friend in Hawaii and
my mom actually flew home. My mom was living in
a studio apartment, and long story short, I had to
move back to my mom's house in the studio apartment. Okay, devastation,
(16:41):
you guys. My whole world was turned upside down. And
so that was my first heartbreak. And let's see. I
guess I'll stop and ask answer some questions before we
get into what I did from there. So let's see, Jean,
do you feel most of us get in our own heads?
And how can we realize we are doing it? For sure? Yeah,
(17:04):
we all do that, Gene. You can realize that you're
doing it if you're having fear based thoughts and you're
like telling if basically it's anything about like let's say
you want to do something and you continue to have
these racing thoughts of no, I can't do this because
(17:24):
of this, I can't do this because of that or whatever.
That's your mind. That's truly being in your head and
not in your heart, not your body. It's more your mind,
your soulful self, right, your bigger, true soulful self has
really no fear. It already knows why you're here and
you have a bigger purpose and all of that. But
that's a complete different conversation for today's show. But I
(17:47):
just wanted to address that that question. And let's see, Cam,
what nerve did you want to rip this? Oh? My god,
his lips off? No, I know, right, Cam, I know.
I was so you guys, it was a big deal.
It really was. I both in my mom and my
(18:10):
dad had to go talk to his grandma at one
point because I had to get my stuff back. I
did not want to see the guy. I was just
so heartbreaking, heartbroken, Lacy, how long was it going on? Okay?
So I found out that this woman was an older
woman that he had met at the music store that
(18:31):
he was working at. I mentioned, Yeah, like I said,
we were twenty, and I just all I knew was
that she was older and he had been foolen around
with her. So I don't really know to this day
how old she was or anything else, like if she
(18:51):
was married or I really have no idea to this
day anything about that. And by the way, I'm totally
okay with this guy now, Like he literally like facebooked
me two years ago and said happy birthday. I always
think of you. And what's interesting is that he's married
with like I think four kids now and I think,
(19:17):
so okay, let me just finish up here, Ausuer, Sorry
you had to go through all that. Are you better now? Absolutely? Yeah,
I'm so good, so good now, Thank you, Asher Francis.
Did they get together after you left him? I feel
like they probably fooled around. I feel like I don't
know why, but my gut says that she was probably
(19:39):
married or had somebody else. And I feel like it
was just kind of like I mean, granted, I mean
to his defense, you guys, he was twenty years old.
How I can't be mad at that now, right, Like
he had to go and explore and do his thing,
and thank god he did. Like I don't want kids now,
(20:01):
like I don't want that life at all. So getting
to our subject like flirting with life after heartbreaking disappointment,
I just want to say that looking back everything, Like
what am I trying to say here? I just know
now that it all happened the way it was supposed to,
(20:24):
just like I taught told Jean, like I always talk
about this, you guys and I'll say it again. You
have to really trust life. You have to trust your
own being, your own flow, and even these big, heartbreaking,
devastating moments have a purpose. You know, his sister, my
high school sweetheart's sister, and I actually became really amazing
(20:50):
close friends. So listen to this. So after I ended
up going back and living with my mom in this
studio apartment, was happy about this. Okay, literally two women
living in a studio apartment. I was twenty years old.
I don't want to be with my parents. First of all,
I wanted freedom. I had a car, you know, all
(21:12):
of that, and here we are in a studio apartment,
like on top of each other. Like I didn't like that,
but there served a purpose there. You know, I had
gained a lot of weight when I was living I
was playing house with this guy. And my mom has
always been into fitness and healthy eating and stuff like that.
(21:33):
So now I'm living with her, and she, you know,
we started going to the gym together. I started eating
healthy again, and just like you know, the weight fell off.
I was starting to feel better about myself till that
served a purpose that was good for me and my
health and my well being and everything now that I
(21:53):
talk about, because that got me on this health journey.
Since my early twenties. I've been on this health kick.
I dropped off a little bit at twenty five to thirty,
which that's a whole other story about a heartbreak and
a situation. But I dropped off a little bit of
(22:14):
my health kick from twenty five to thirty. But other
than that, I've been pretty clean since my twenties. But so, okay,
so I get on this health journey. I get on
this kick. I go to the start going to the gym.
I'm feeling better about myself. And my high school sweetheart's
sister knew the whole situation right, And I was out
(22:38):
of work at this time. I was living studio apartment,
I was going to college. I was trying to you know,
get my my my college in. I didn't know what
the heck I was going to do with my life.
And his sister calls me. We had we didn't have
cell phones at that time. We had just regular phones.
(22:59):
And she called me and she offers me a job. Okay,
she offers me a receptionist job at a mortgage company.
And she talked to me, you guys, she was like,
I'm so sorry for his behavior. I love you as
a sister. You know, I want my company is hiring,
(23:19):
and I knew you're you needed the money, so I
wanted to offer you this opportunity. And I was like, yes,
one hundred percent, yes, I needed to work. And she
got me this. She basically got me into, you know,
the interview for the receptionist at a mortgage company. And
from there I worked. I worked as a receptionist for
(23:43):
I think two to two and a half years. I
got my real estate license, I learned the ropes in
mortgage and real estate. I ended up living with her
for a little while, like a good while, having my
own room there, and she was teaching me the ropes
with mortgage and real estate, and basically, you guys, that
(24:05):
was my career from for like good fifteen years and
I did well. I've done well, so again, trusting right,
that heartbreak and that devastation turned into what was meant
for me without knowing him and without living with him,
(24:29):
and without getting to know his sister on a personal
level and her getting to know me, and then she
just happened to be a realtor and in mortgage. I mean,
you know, what I mean, just looking back at just
the timeline and the time frame of how that all
went down and how I was supposed to just be
(24:50):
at the right at that place, at the right time,
just being the right the right company, and it just
rolled out that way. So I really appreciate me being
able to talk about it with you guys, because I
went on to you know, get married my ex husband,
(25:11):
and I feel like, you know, your first heartbreak is
is devastating, right, Like it's just there's I will never
forget it. I'm happy it happened because, like I said,
it propelled me into my career. But my ex husband,
(25:34):
the one that heartbreak that i've is more recent. I
can tell you that that was has been the worst,
just the worst ever in my life. Like I feel
like it's been the worst because I really felt that
I had met my person. I really trusted this guy,
(25:58):
and just just so to be open with you guys,
I've been really lucky with career and financially and other
things in my life, but as far as like love
and romance, big pain point for me, big pain point,
just to let you know, I know, I know why now.
(26:21):
Thank God, this has been my work, my I've gotten
onto this spiritual path of getting to know myself more.
And I know why I didn't have the picture of
two parents that showed me love and showed me the
way it was supposed to be. Like I mentioned, I
(26:42):
really my dad was in and out of my life.
It was really hard growing up with my mom. Not
a lot of stability, like I've said, and I as
a kid, your sponge, right, you pick up the messages
around you. I mean, unless you're super, super lucky and
you have two parents that are healthy, a healthy dynamic,
(27:06):
and they show you the way of the world, and
they show you healthy relationship and how that they love
each other and that you know, this solid foundation of
a home. I mean, good for you if that's what
you experienced. I did not. I absolutely did not chaos fighting,
(27:29):
just you guys. I mean, that's a whole other show.
But my point is I picked up the message that
love was love had to hurt, love was chaotic. I
wasn't good enough, you know, just your sponge as a kid,
and I picked up those messages. And my work has
(27:51):
been to undo that dialogue in my in my head.
And that's taken me years. It's taken me years to
undo that negative self talk and those beliefs, you know,
and I still, you know, I have to be honest.
I still have to watch myself because it's easy. That
(28:13):
foundation was laid as a kid, and you just pick
up these messages and you start thinking these things about
yourself that are untrue, that are completely untrue. And so again,
you know, I talk about the silver lining and everything
because again, thank God for my childhood and me finding
these mentors and me getting onto a spiritual path and
(28:35):
me understanding myself better and me being going through these
heartbreaks because now I'm able to be in service and
talk about it and coach women one on one and
get deep and I understand all these feelings that come
with hard, toxic relationships. Truly, the story that I shared
(28:58):
my nineteen year old heartbreak, I will say he wasn't toxic.
Like truly, I don't feel like that relationship was toxic.
You guys, we were just young. Like again, I don't
hate the guy. I would say hi to him, give
him a hug. Now, you know, like I feel like
I know his sister. I feel like I love his sister.
(29:21):
She's like a friend of mine. Today I could pick
up the phone and call her today. So no hard
feelings at all. I just feel like we were young.
But after that, I did get myself into toxic or sure.
My next big relationship after that was with an alcoholic
(29:44):
That was fun. I'm kidding it was. It was in
my twenties. It was after this heartbreak. I just ended
up with somebody that drank a lot. And that's when
I when I said, I fell off my healthy like
I'm the health wagon. And from twenty five to thirty
(30:04):
I partied because I was with this other guy and
it was toxic in the fact that I really you guys,
I went to ellen On. I tried to like fix
it because again I felt like I needed to The
picture that I saw growing up was that I needed
(30:26):
to overgive to receive love. I needed to fix my
environment for me to feel safe, you know. So all
these messages came through as a kid, and so of
course he fell right in line with my programming, and
so I tried to go to ellen On. You know,
I was this good girl and I tried to help
(30:48):
him and I loved him through all this suffering that
he went through, and I felt like, how could he
not love me? Because I'm with him through all this suffering,
like really, So that was my next relationship. And then
after that I met my ex husband and O MG,
(31:09):
you guys, now that I don't even probably have enough
time to go through that whole story. I'm probably just
gonna go through that in another episode because that one's
pretty deep. I will tell you that he's a master manipulator.
So if anybody has experienced that, I really fell for
(31:31):
the fact that he cared for me and he didn't.
He didn't And how did I find that out? Through
a mentor. She saw, she saw the bigger pictures. She saw,
she saw that I was being emotionally I hate to
use this word, but abused it was. He was definitely
(31:52):
emotionally unavailable and just a manipulator. And I really thought
that he cared for me and he did not, And
I thank god had a mentor at the time see it,
and she lovingly helped me get through this relationship and
finally have the courage to ask for a divorce. These
(32:15):
kind of people are really really good at manipulating because
they get to know you so well. They get to
know your what makes you tick and your insecurities, and
they act like they really love and care for you,
but they also use your insecurities against you, and to
(32:37):
the point where he tried to turn my At this
point in my life, I had a relationship with my dad,
and that to me is sacred because I didn't have
a relationship with my dad growing up, and this person
in my life try to throw me under the bus
with my dad, my own dad. It was bad, you guys,
(32:59):
It was really bad. And it's it's it's really hard
as somebody. I'm super sensitive and I'm an impact, so
it's really hard for me to be mean or hate
a person that I spend so much time with. And
it's really if they call it a cognitive dissonance is
(33:22):
the psychological term where these people they act nice and
they do nice things, like they'll buy you gifts, or
they'll they'll show you love, they'll they'll embrace you, they will,
you know, say all the right things, but they have
an agenda, and so your brain gets confused because here
(33:46):
they are treating you nice sometimes and because I didn't
get the love as a kid, I really needed this love,
you know. It's like I'm human, right, And so your
brain gets confused because you want to believe like, oh wait,
but they were nice to me today. They were you know,
they said all the right things, they cuddled me, they
(34:08):
said they had my back, you know, but they don't.
And so that was the relationship that I experienced with
this ex person, and that heartbreak really tore me down
because the year that I finally got the courage to
leave was twenty nineteen, end of twenty nineteen, and then
(34:29):
in January of twenty twenty, right before COVID, I lost
my dog, who was my little soulmate. Oh I just
love my dog, you guys. And so then lockdown came
through and I was grieving the divorce and my loss
(34:49):
of my dog, and so the nineteen year old heartbreak
was nothing compared to this zero. Like I just was devastated.
I couldn't move, like I didn't want to move off
the couch. And thankfully I had started this show. It
was I feel like I was on iHeartRadio. It was
(35:12):
just a radio show for a long time during twenty nineteen,
and then it was just coming online as a TV
show during COVID. So I really poured myself into that.
I have a lot of shows on iHeartRadio and Spotify.
If you guys want to ever look back. But so
we're running. I know we're getting to the end of
our time, and I just want to say that again.
(35:36):
I can sit here and tell you that this breakup,
this divorce is still you know, something that I grieve.
Every once in a while, I'll have a good cry,
you know, just to let it out. But I feel good,
you guys, I feel good. I'm healthy. I was really skinny.
(36:00):
I got really skinny in that relationship because my body
was trying to tell me that something was off. I
just and I knew it in my gut. You always
know it in your gut. But I didn't want to
believe that this person that I had put all of
my heart and my soul and my trust in that
he just wasn't good for me. I didn't want to
(36:21):
believe that. And so the silver lining in all this
is that he did remind me that I love to
sing because he's a musician. And I feel like the
three heartbreaks that I've talked about, I have other relationship stories,
but the three heartbreaks that I did talk about today
(36:42):
is if I'm honest with myself, each of them, what
they really wanted to show me was that I got
this right, like I can be my own best friend,
I can show myself love, I can sit with my emotions,
because that's one thing that you know. Again, I didn't
want to sit with my emotions. I wanted to just
(37:04):
have somebody there, you know, whether it was healthy or not.
But at the time, of course, I didn't see that.
And this is just now a reflection looking back after
all this self work that I've done, that I'm okay.
I'm okay by myself. I have my singing, I have
this show. I have you guys that I can now,
(37:25):
you know, be in service to. Like I said, I
do my coaching with one on one with women. I write,
you know, I seeing I speak. I have other things
happening in my life and I feel good, and of
course I would love a healthy relationship. I feel like
I'm ready for a healthy relationship more so than ever
(37:48):
in my life. I feel like I'm finally whole in
my own self and I won't be looking for somebody
else to fill any voids, and so I welcome that.
But I'm good either way. I'm good either way, And
so to anybody that is struggling with heartbreak and not
(38:11):
understanding why. I feel like it's really trying to get
you to you more, to you, to your soulful self,
to your true path, to your heart of hearts, to
what you're supposed to be here and experience in life.
And I know it's uncomfortable and hard, and I hope
if you are going through heartbreak that you have friends
(38:34):
and family to lean on. My heartbreak through COVID, I
couldn't lean on really anybody, right, everybody was in lockdown.
I lost my dog. It was just really really it
was just it felt so like slow. It was like,
oh my god, another day of this, Like what am
(38:54):
I going to get through this day? But you do.
You get through it. You do get through the hard times.
And I also will say that all of these experiences
have reminded me how strong I am emotionally and mentally.
I've had to really navigate people that have tried to
(39:19):
mess with my mind emotionally, and that's the god honest truth.
People around me have really tried to manipulate my mind.
You know, just going to say it like it is,
and we can probably talk more about that too, if
you guys ever want to. But I've had to really
stay in my own lane, figure out my own what
(39:40):
I feel like, teach myself do I feel this or
is this somebody else wanting me to feel this? If
that makes any sense. Like, I've had to really teach
myself what I like and what I don't like and
put up boundaries around people that I know in my
gut are not good for me. And so anyways, let's
(40:03):
let's see what did I miss here? Dana, You are
not in your thirties, No way, I am not. I
am not in my thirties. But thank you, Wendy. Will
that show contain triggers? I don't know what show we
were talking about, maybe something that I was going to
(40:25):
talk about, but probably maybe yeah, I apologize. Oh okay,
thank you, Rebel. Probably I will probably talk about my
ex husband one day and I'll tell you guys all
about that, and it might it might contain triggers, and
so just be be warned. Jeremy, how long was the marriage? Uh,
(40:48):
we were married for ten years and so it was
a pretty long time. But I was with him for
about thirteen and jan That sounds like a good topic. Okay,
so a good topic. I hope Rebel will remind me
to talk about the X. Do you guys want to
hear about the X, the X relationship, the ex marriage,
the ex husband. If so, you can always DM me
(41:11):
Because it's five minutes, I'm gonna end the show. Please
you guys follow me on Instagram at Jena Lobos. Dm
me any questions, comments you want to hear on this show.
My website's Jenolobos dot com, but you can easily find
me on Instagram at Jena Lobos. So, I hope you
(41:32):
enjoyed today's show you, guys. I hope I brought you
some value. If you're going through heartbreak, it will be okay.
It will be okay. The more you sit with your feelings,
the easier and the faster it will go. It will
move through your body. Find a mentor find me Gena
Lobos dot com. And until next time, love your body
(41:53):
and love your life.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Take care, bye, Take back
Speaker 2 (42:07):
To get back the bat back
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