April 3, 2025 • 33 mins
How do you stay happy and in the flow when triggered? I get triggered all the time, it's the comeback that is important, Jenna talks about what tools she uses daily to stay in the flow!
Jenna Lobos
Love Your Body Love Your Life
Buy My Book: https://a.co/d/dCu5hXr
Learn More; jennalobos.com
@JennaLobos on IG
Music on YouTube
https://youtu.be/ktG3pWaPtJ8?si=nwtxNpBxCjXtzN4E
Spotify and Apple Music
Love Your Body, Love Your Life is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Love Your Body, Love Your Life TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Love Your Body, Love Your Life Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Jenna Lobos
Love Your Body Love Your Life
Buy My Book: https://a.co/d/dCu5hXr
Learn More; jennalobos.com
@JennaLobos on IG
Music on YouTube
https://youtu.be/ktG3pWaPtJ8?si=nwtxNpBxCjXtzN4E
Spotify and Apple Music
Love Your Body, Love Your Life is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM ET and Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4hc.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Love Your Body, Love Your Life TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Love Your Body, Love Your Life Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, welcome to Love Your Body, Love Your Life. My
name is Jenna. I'm the host of the show, and
I'm also the author of the book titled Love Your Body,
Love Your Life, Fifty two Tips that will Radically change
your health. You can find my book on Amazon and
on Barnesannoble dot com. And welcome you guys. I'm live
again today solo. I think this is like my sixth
(00:48):
show solo, and so I'm always like I get up
like kind of filling bubbly when I know I'm going
to come talk to you guys, and it's show day,
you know, like all week I'm thinking about something great
to deliver to you guys, and what i want to
talk about and have some really good content, you know,
(01:10):
some rich content to share. And I will say that
I'm always inspired by my own personal life, right and
what's going on with me, and you know what happens,
It just kind of inspires my topic for the show.
So today I chose the title happiness and staying in
(01:33):
our happy flow even when we're triggered. So why did
I choose that? Well, yeah, obviously I was triggered a lot,
I felt like last week, and some big some big
triggers and some little triggers. And it's interesting because I
feel like the big triggers happen primarily from the people
(01:58):
closest to us, right, It's like, yeah, it's like, for
whatever reason, those people that we choose to be in
our lives trigger us the most. And there's a reason
for that. There is a definite reason for that. It's
because we actually called them in, you know, spiritually on
the bigger on like a bigger picture type of conversation.
(02:21):
We called these people in to be able to trigger
us to look more deeply into ourselves. So I'm going
to talk a little bit more about that, but I
wanted to just share with you guys too that I
picked this topic because honestly, it's been an integral part
of my healing journey in staying like on subject, and
(02:45):
what I mean by staying on subject is staying on myself,
like really focusing on me and not externally right. So
I grew up, I'm going to just say it, I
grew up being like controlled a lot and manipulated lot,
and so I got the message that I was responsible
for other people's feelings and that my feelings and my
(03:09):
decisions and what I thought was right for me didn't matter.
And that was just the message that I picked up
as a kid. Okay, So basically I went into adulthood
not really knowing exactly what I liked, knowing exactly what
I wanted for me. I was always looking externally out
into the world to see like, who can I please,
(03:32):
who can I make feel better? I guess in a
sense in other words, for them to reciprocate that feeling
of happiness back to me and that feeling of love.
So I was always looking in external like relationships, you know,
even like external experiences to get that reciprocal happiness back
(03:56):
to me. So that's been quite a bit of my journey,
you guys, if I'm honest, is really learning how to
take that energy back and stay in my own body
and stay in my own situation and really kind of
decipher like is this my stuff or is this their stuff?
(04:19):
You know? Am I gonna let this trigger me because
it's theirs, or am I just going to keep moving
on and feeling what I feel for me? And I'm
highly empathic, you know, so it's like doubly it's like
a double whammy in a sense. And so yeah, and
I've had to learn that. I've had to learn, you know,
(04:41):
other things like self love. I never knew what that
really entailed. So anyway, so that's why I picked this topic,
because how do we stay on subject meaning ourselves internally
and calm and happy when other people trigger us or
(05:02):
something comes up. And obviously I'm not talking about like,
you know, if somebody's sad and you just kind of
want to be there for them to support them. That's
not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about if somebody
does you wrong, or if you feel like something is
said in a derogatory way or to make you feel
(05:26):
a certain way, to make you feel bad about yourself,
to make you feel you know less than you know.
You can tell the difference. There's a difference there, right
that I'm not talking about you like being supportive of
somebody else and being sad with them and holding space
for them for a heartbreak let's say I'm talking about
something that's deliberate. That's somebody that's doing something you deliberately,
(05:50):
or even like an external circumstance that you have no
control over. It's like, how do we stay happy in
those times? So let's open up the conversation. How do
we do that? I think, first of all, it's important
to obviously do the inner work. That's what I'm really
talking about here. It's do the inner work. Find out
(06:11):
who you are, find out what makes you happy, find
out and learn about yourself. More so, there are a
couple of things that I know make me happy and
can like easily bring me back to center where I'm calm,
I'm in my own body, I'm in my own feelings,
I'm in my own energy, right And so I'll share
(06:33):
a couple of things with you that make me happy
and feel good, and one of them's journaling. I talked
about that last week on the show. So if anybody's
into journaling and or you want to start that, I
have twenty one journaling prompts on my website at Jenalobos
dot com, So if you guys want to check that out.
(06:54):
But one of the things that I love about that
the journaling is that nobody's going to read it. Okay,
you can go to your journal. Like this last week
when I was like thinking in my head, like what
am I going to talk about on the show last
or next week, which is today, I got really triggered,
you know. I'll just be honest. I was. I had
big feelings come up, and I had nowhere to turn
(07:17):
in that moment, like no one to call. You know,
I don't have like a really, I don't really have
a trusted person that I can call at any moment.
I do work with a mentor, but you know, like
I have our appointment every week, right, so it's not
like I could call her and be like, oh my god,
(07:38):
this just happened, you know. And I don't have that person,
you guys, I really don't. I It's me, you know,
And so I have to figure out how to process
things on my own a lot, you know. So what
did I do. I pulled out my journal and I
(07:59):
just started writing all my feelings down. And the good
thing about that is that I can cuss, I can
tell somebody off, I can I can just let it
all out on the page and nobody's going to read it.
Okay except for me my eyes only. So I just
felt and I always feel so like ugh, like oh,
(08:21):
I took a deep breath after I got it out
of my system. So I will stop for a second,
because we did get a question. I want to honor that, Mitsi.
My mom always read my diary when I was younger.
It really sucked. I felt like I could not keep Oh.
I'm so sorry for that, Mitsi, because that is that
is hard. I don't know how old you are now,
(08:41):
if you want to call back in and let me
know if you're comfortable sharing your age, because I hope
that did not deter you from from keeping a journal
or a diary, and hopefully maybe you don't live with
your mom anymore, or maybe you can hide it somewhere
or keep it with you, like take it with you
(09:03):
in your car, or literally have it in your purse,
like I have a small one. Oh it's not here.
I would have showed it to you, but I have
a like a real small one that I can keep
like with me in my purse. So I'm sorry that
happened to you, because that's like really an invasion of privacy, right,
So that's not cool. It's like uncool. I'm sorry that happened.
(09:27):
I would I would pick it back up. I would
get something that you can keep with yourself and don't stop,
because it really is a game changer when you can
just pour your thoughts out, you know, and honestly, Midcie,
this is like a this is a prime example of
what I'm talking about. That is a big trigger. That's
(09:48):
that's like a boundary. You know, that's like something that
your mom just totally did not she doesn't have any
boundaries with you. Not cool, not good at all. So
so yeah, don't let it stop. You find a way
to keep your diary because that's something that is for you.
And this is exactly what I'm talking about. You guys.
(10:10):
You have to figure out a way to stay in
the zone. And if journaling and diary is one of them,
then figure out something that keeps you with your boundaries
and that you're not cross. You know, hide it, hide it,
hide your hyd your journal. So yeah, anyways, so where
(10:32):
was I? Okay? So that's one way that's a big,
big way that I keep in my happy zone is
I stay on myself. I really try to focus on me,
especially if you have people like this in your life
that have no boundaries. That's another big reason to focus
on you. You know, in like like a dynamic of
(10:56):
like a boundary list relationship, or even like an alcoholic
relationship where there's the alcoholic really wants all of the attention. Right,
I'm using this as an example. They want all the
attention on them. You know, an addictive personality basically wants
all the attention. So in that situation, you really have
(11:21):
to focus on you in every moment. You, guys, in
every moment, focus on your goals, focus on getting up
and taking care of yourself. I mean just the little
things like create a ritual for yourself. I'm going to
have my hot lemon and water in the morning. I'm
going to have my hot tea. I'm going to make
(11:42):
myself a toast. I mean, just these little self care
things can lead to bigger things. So you really have
to stay focused on you. Focus on you always. How
do you get into your body? Okay, we talked about journaling.
Go for a walk. These are things that keep me
happy and on subject meet I love sunshine, you know.
(12:05):
I love getting out in the weather, walks on the beach.
I love my green tea. It makes me happy. It
makes me just I don't know, it just brings me
back to me and the simple things. You know. I
love deep conversation. I love it if you can have
some a deep conversation with a trusted person or a mentor.
(12:28):
That's priceless, you guys, because the triggers are actually happening
for us and not to us. And this is a
big part of having a different perspective on what triggers you.
It's important, it's important. And if you're not going to
talk to somebody and like dissect the trigger, then talk
(12:52):
to yourself, you know, or have a trusted friend and
have these deep conversations. But it's important to know that
they're happening for you and there's a deeper meaning to
why you're getting triggered. So an example, you get angry.
What about that trigger is making you angry? Is it
something that happened over and over again? Is it a pattern?
(13:14):
Is it, you know, something that happened in your childhood
that is now coming back up to surface. It's happening
for you. It's coming back up because it's time for
you to heal, it's time for you to actually integrate
that part of yourself. That gets angry back to you
and actually use that energy for good. I'm using anger
(13:39):
as an example, but anger actually is a fire inside
of us, right, it's think about it. You get angry
and it's like, ugh, it's like you have all this energy,
and it's like you can either use that for bad
and make it worse and go and tell every like
ten people and make this drama like we're some bigger
(14:01):
and all these things and it's dramatic and it's like
this big deal and it's like just making you feel worse,
or you can turn that fire into something else, make
it go, bake something, paint something, make art, create something.
I'm a singer, so I use my emotions a lot
(14:21):
for singing. I have a lot of experiences you guys,
believe it or not, I have been through so much
and so now I have all these emotions that I
can use and turn them into my poetry, my singing,
my songwriting. And so you know, this last week when
(14:42):
I've I was triggered, I had some big emotions come up.
I immediately went to my journal and I let them out.
And then other times little triggers happen and I have
to decipher. Okay, like, what am I going to do
with this? Right? So I'll tell you guys a personal story.
So last week I went to go get a facial
(15:03):
and I get into the facial room, and by the way,
I love the facialist, right. She calls herself a badass facialist,
and she really is, I'll give her that. But so
I go into the facial room. She's tucking me in
and we've already had like a little bit of conversation.
She's tucking me in the in the bed and she's
(15:24):
like putting the blanket on me, and I do the
facial and she or no, she tells me in the room,
I'm going to do some body work on you for free?
Is that okay? Jenna? And I'm like tucked in the
bed and am I gonna say no? Like, come on,
she's offering me bodywork for free, meaning she's going to
give me extra massage on my body for free, which
(15:47):
was not included in the facial And I was like sure, yeah,
of course, Okay, So we go through the facial, we
do the thing. It's whatever, sixty seventy five minutes, whatever
it is. I lost track of time, and so we
get out of the room. She hands me a tea,
a hot tea in a water. I'm like double fisted, right,
(16:07):
I'm like going, I have to pee really bad. So
I go to the bathroom and I'm I'm peen I
have my Then I'm I'm having my two, the water
and the hot tea. I'm going up to the pay
I'm like, I'm like dreary, you know, like after you
get out of massage, you're like, oh, kind of dreaming,
you know, like you're just feeling like you just woke up.
(16:28):
And so of course they want you to buy product
along with the facial. So I go and I'm I'm
gonna pay for my facial And of course she has
product there laid out, and she's standing right there and
she's like she had written out like this whole program
for my face for what she wanted me to do,
(16:50):
like this protocol right for post facial kind of thing.
And we're standing there at the cash register, and the
woman behind the cash registers wait for the facialists to
tell me about the products and all this stuff, And
in front of the cash registered lady she tells me.
She tells me, next time, you're gonna need to book
(17:11):
fifteen minutes earlier so I can massage you. And I
was like, oh, like I immediately woke out of my
woke up out of my like droggy state, right because
I'm feeling something right because in the room she offered
me fifteen minutes of free massage. But now outside in
front of the cash register lady when she's trying to
(17:34):
like sell me product and give me this post facial
protocol telling me to come back. Basically, she's kind of
like reprimanding me in a way. I guess like that
I needed to book fifteen minutes earlier to get this
massage that she offered for free. And I'm like, oh,
all of a sudden, I'm like alert, you know, like this,
(17:55):
I'm just giving you an example of like a like
a trigger, right, Like, oh, like wait, I didn't ask
for the fifteen minute massage, did I? And I'm now
I'm recalling, like did I do something wrong? Like My
point is is that I left there and I got
in my car and I was like WTF, Like what
what just happened? Like I shared with you guys earlier
(18:18):
that I've been pretty much manipulated and controlled all of
my all of my life. I'm just gonna say it,
you know, And so I've attracted these relationships that are
controlling and manipulating. Obviously, now I have more of a
discernment because I've worked on myself. I've healed myself. But
these small little things come up now and again, and
(18:39):
I'm like, what just happened? Because that was a manipulating
type of situation. You guys did I don't know if
anybody's following all my story, but that was super like
backhanded and manipulative in my opinion, you know, like she
was really super nice. Oh and then I forgot to
(18:59):
tell you like she was covering her face and winking
at me in front of the like so the cash
registered lady didn't see that she was winking at me,
like oh, you know, like so I can give you
a fifteen minute massage, Like she was winking at me,
Like what the hell? What do I do with that?
Like I got in my car and I was like,
wait a second, do I tell on her? Like do
(19:23):
I call the owner of the salon? And I'm gonna
be a tattletale like, you know, like I wanted to be,
like I'm telling on her, like she I didn't do
anything wrong. But it's like, what do you do with that? Shit?
I'm sorry, I'm like seriously, like are we five or ten? Like?
That was not cool either, So what do we do
(19:44):
with that? You guys? Like I had to decipher, Like
I just decided, like, okay. What went through my head
later on that day was do I want to go
back to her? Do I want to keep seeing this facialist?
And the answer is yes, like leave it or not?
The answer is yes because I like her style. I
(20:05):
love the facial that I that I get, and I
have not found anybody else that gives that kind of
facial in my area, you know. Like not to say
that if I didn't find somebody else, I would go
to somebody else, because I probably would. I would give
it a try. But so I decided that for me,
the best thing to do was just let it go.
(20:26):
But also now have discernment with this woman, right, and again,
I like her. I think she's she's cool, you know
in a sense, but that just wasn't cool what she did.
So I feel like, what am I going to do? Well,
I'm going to address it, obviously. I'm definitely going to
address it when I go back to get this facial.
(20:48):
I'm going to say, hey, like what happened with that,
you know, just out of curiosity, right, because it did
it like really kind of like was like, what what
just happened? So I'm going to address it. This is
what I decided. I'm going to address that. I'm going
to ask what happened. I'm gonna let her say whatever
she's gonna say. She's probably gonna be like laughing it off, like, oh,
(21:08):
like I wasn't supposed to give you that or whatever
her deal is. And okay, you know, because in the past,
I wouldn't have said anything, you know, I would not
have said anything. My voice was mute for a lot
of years, and so that's one thing, you know, that's
one thing you were to stay in our happy flow
(21:31):
and to have self love. You guys, we have to
speak our truth, we do. We have to speak our truth.
We have to speak up, even if we're nervous, we're scared.
I used to be really nervous and scared to speak
my truth, and sometimes I do still have those feelings.
But that's a part of the self care protocol, right,
It's it's not just going and getting facial that's part
(21:54):
of it. But it's also speaking your truth, setting boundaries,
you know, staying on subjects, which I just talked about,
and all these things keep you in your happy flow.
So I'm going to stop and I'm gonna read the questions. Okay,
Mitsy called back over forty Okay, thank you, Mitzy for
giving us your age. I was really mad. I would
(22:17):
write horrible things so mess with her, to mess with her.
Then it got old and I just quit writing because
she did that. I have not picked it up since then,
but listening to you talk about it makes me want
to start another one. Thank you all. You're welcome. Mitsye
nd percent. I'm assuming you don't live with your mom anymore,
(22:39):
so I would definitely start it started up again. Yeah,
it sounds like she was super controlling and manipulating, and
I get it. That was the way that you wanted
to kind of get back at her, to write things
that would mess with her mind. And that's, you know,
(22:59):
that's a backlage and I understand that. But figure out
a way to harness that anger, like I just talked about,
do something really good with it instead of Because here's
the thing, Mitsi. The fact that let's say that you
were still doing that right, like you were still writing
(23:21):
things in your journal that you knew your mom would
find and to make her to get back at her
in a sense, which granted, okay, I can see why
you would want to do that, but the energy is
still focused on her. Okay, So that's what she wants.
That's what these kind of people, your mom, but anybody,
that's what they want. You're giving them what they want.
(23:44):
The energy is still focused on them. So the goal
and the lesson is how does Mitzi stay on her
because that's where the real gold is, That's where the
diamond in the rough is. That's where it is is
if you put all that energy into you, heel from
(24:06):
that place to the point where you're so big in
your own life and your own energy, in your own
love for yourself that you have no like, you have
no desire to focus on your mom or people like
your mom. That's the goal. And I get it, one
hundred percent, trust me, I get it. It's so difficult,
(24:29):
but it feels so good once you're there. Once you're
there and you're like, you know what, ask yourself the questions,
why does this trigger me? What is it that you
want in your life? That's going to bring you happiness?
What's your true passions? And I always say that to myself,
like if I was where I want to be in
my mind, Let's say, for example, I really want to
(24:52):
I'll just share this. I really want to be able
to experience a big stage one day, you guys, I
want to sing on a big stage, even if it's
like an opening act or something for singing or I
just think that that experience in my lifetime would be amazing.
And so when I do get triggered, I think about that,
(25:12):
like I immediately think about that like goal of mine
or that desire, like to have that one experience. And
what if that was happening in my life in that moment,
what if the date was set, what if I had
a band set up? What if that was happening in
my life already. Would I be triggered by this thing?
(25:33):
I don't think so, Or even if I was, it
would be like, Eh, that's their shit, theirs stuff. Sorry,
I've passed like twice on this podcast. That's their stuff,
and so be it. Let them have it, Like that's
not you, So Mitzi, that's what I encourage you to do.
Pick up your journal again, get back in the flow,
(25:54):
get back into you what makes you happy, write down
the things that make you happy. Know what's going to
bring you back to yourself, And if journaling and writing
is one of them, then I say hundred percent go
back to it. Okay, Kelly asked, my stepmother used to
read my diary. We would fight. What is it with you?
(26:15):
Oh my gosh, so Midsy is not alone. Kelly had
her step mom read her diary. What is it with that?
Oh my gosh. It makes me feel like I need
to hide my hide my diaries, hide my journals. Honestly,
you guys, Yeah, Kelly, so again, I'm sorry that that happened.
(26:36):
If you're like MIDSI and you don't live with your
step mom anymore, I would pick it back up again.
I have journaling prompts on my website, Jennalobus dot com,
so if you guys want to check that out. But
it sounds like, yeah, it's you're listen. I feel like
we're always going to come across people that want to
(26:57):
take us down or are triggered by us, you know,
but are triggered by whatever we're doing in the world.
And again, I feel like as long as we're focused
on our desires and what makes us happy, then it's
not gonna affect us as much, you guys, It really isn't,
you know. And especially in relationships and like love relationships,
(27:23):
it's I think it's more important to know what makes
you happy and how you can stay on your path,
because when you are having a romantic relationship with somebody,
you're super entwined and you can easily get off your path.
And especially as women, you know, we're overgivers and we
(27:44):
need to not do that seriously, like we are innate
to It's innate in us to care and to overgive.
And I know for me, that's gotten me in a
lot of trouble, like to overgive and to focus on
what makes them happy and be so concerned about their
feelings and not like paying attention to my life. And
(28:07):
you know, it's it's caused me so many things, you guys.
I lost so much weight in like another relationship, like
I was drinking like in my early twenties, in my
first like long term relationship. Like It's just I've been
through so much, you know, and I'm telling you these
things that I'm talking to you, guys, I've really lived
(28:29):
with them, and so now I can sit here and
tell you that it's not worth it. It's you need
to figure out what makes you happy, what your desires are,
what you want in life, and really focus on that.
So yeah, I hope this helps you, guys. I'm just
looking at my notes to see I think I did
(28:50):
mention you know. It's it's really important to Again, I
think I did mention this, but I want to reiterate
it's important to know that the triggers are happening for
you and not to you, and once you can get
to the place where the comeback, like for example, I'm
gonna use the relationship example. Let's say you're with a
(29:11):
partner and you're always fighting. You're always getting triggered by
this relationship. If you decide that you want to stay
in this relationship, then you definitely need to figure out
and work on yourself enough to get to the place
where the comeback from the trigger is different, that it
comes from a more loving place within yourself. Because you
(29:36):
will see that it will diminish, the intensity of that
trigger and the energy of the dynamic within that relationship
will change, and it will either I will tell you
right now, it will either fall off and they will leave,
or they will rise to your energy, the higher energy
(29:59):
of some of love. It's just law. Basically, when you
start working on yourself and you come from a different place,
that's authentic, that's true, that it's not an act. You
really have to feel like, I got this, this is
my gig, I got this, I know who I am.
I love myself now I'm on a good path. You
(30:21):
have to really feel that internally. It can't just be
a phoniness because the phoniness is felt versus the authenticity
of Nope, this is me. I know who I am. Now.
That person will feel it and again will either rise
up to the occasion or they'll leave. They'll leave the scene.
And if they do leave the scene, then it's good
(30:44):
written into you, guys, because they did you a favor.
And again, I have lived this and that's why I
can sit here and talk about it. And I, you know,
like my last relationship, my last really like big relationship
was still healing and I didn't see that, you know,
But I had a mentor that held my hand and
(31:06):
was holding my hand helping me heal, you know, through
all this, and I just didn't see it. I was
I was heartbroken. I had really fallen in love with
this person. But I was also working on myself in
the relationship, and I was rising. I was I was,
I was healing, I was stepping into new levels of
myself and my mindset, my thinking, and my internal healing
(31:29):
was changing. And this person was not rising with me.
And so what happened was is just it wasn't working.
There was no match. There was no vibrational match anymore
to that. And so that's what happens. When we do
the things. We journal, we walk, we stay on subject,
we breathe, we work with a mentor all these things
(31:50):
we vibrationally. Vibrationally, we rise to a different level and
the things that were working with our old self aren't
going to work anymore. So people, friends, relationships, jobs, all
of that will probably leave, just organically, and there's nothing
you can do. You could just have to accept it,
(32:12):
or you can just stay where you're at. And if
that's what you want to do, then that's okay, no judgment,
you know, that's okay, no judgment. But it's just up
to you. So if you guys want to grow and
rise and really stay in a happy flow and you know,
just really feel good about your life and what you're creating.
(32:34):
Then you need to do the inner work and you
need to figure out these things. And yeah, so I
think that's it, you guys, if there's no more questions.
I really appreciate what you guys shared, Kelly and Mitzi,
and yeah, I hope this helped. I'm just trying to
look at my notes and I think I think I've
(32:56):
said what I had to say. So always great to
live with you guys here today and always again. Check
out my new website, Genalobos dot com. I am offering
coaching for women now and we dive deeper into everything
that I talked about today. And yeah, until next time,
(33:19):
love your body, love your life, take care. Bye,
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, welcome to Love Your Body, Love Your Life. My
name is Jenna. I'm the host of the show, and
I'm also the author of the book titled Love Your Body,
Love Your Life, Fifty two Tips that will Radically change
your health. You can find my book on Amazon and
on Barnesannoble dot com. And welcome you guys. I'm live
again today solo. I think this is like my sixth
(00:48):
show solo, and so I'm always like I get up
like kind of filling bubbly when I know I'm going
to come talk to you guys, and it's show day,
you know, like all week I'm thinking about something great
to deliver to you guys, and what i want to
talk about and have some really good content, you know,
(01:10):
some rich content to share. And I will say that
I'm always inspired by my own personal life, right and
what's going on with me, and you know what happens,
It just kind of inspires my topic for the show.
So today I chose the title happiness and staying in
(01:33):
our happy flow even when we're triggered. So why did
I choose that? Well, yeah, obviously I was triggered a lot,
I felt like last week, and some big some big
triggers and some little triggers. And it's interesting because I
feel like the big triggers happen primarily from the people
(01:58):
closest to us, right, It's like, yeah, it's like, for
whatever reason, those people that we choose to be in
our lives trigger us the most. And there's a reason
for that. There is a definite reason for that. It's
because we actually called them in, you know, spiritually on
the bigger on like a bigger picture type of conversation.
(02:21):
We called these people in to be able to trigger
us to look more deeply into ourselves. So I'm going
to talk a little bit more about that, but I
wanted to just share with you guys too that I
picked this topic because honestly, it's been an integral part
of my healing journey in staying like on subject, and
(02:45):
what I mean by staying on subject is staying on myself,
like really focusing on me and not externally right. So
I grew up, I'm going to just say it, I
grew up being like controlled a lot and manipulated lot,
and so I got the message that I was responsible
for other people's feelings and that my feelings and my
(03:09):
decisions and what I thought was right for me didn't matter.
And that was just the message that I picked up
as a kid. Okay, So basically I went into adulthood
not really knowing exactly what I liked, knowing exactly what
I wanted for me. I was always looking externally out
into the world to see like, who can I please,
(03:32):
who can I make feel better? I guess in a
sense in other words, for them to reciprocate that feeling
of happiness back to me and that feeling of love.
So I was always looking in external like relationships, you know,
even like external experiences to get that reciprocal happiness back
(03:56):
to me. So that's been quite a bit of my journey,
you guys, if I'm honest, is really learning how to
take that energy back and stay in my own body
and stay in my own situation and really kind of
decipher like is this my stuff or is this their stuff?
(04:19):
You know? Am I gonna let this trigger me because
it's theirs, or am I just going to keep moving
on and feeling what I feel for me? And I'm
highly empathic, you know, so it's like doubly it's like
a double whammy in a sense. And so yeah, and
I've had to learn that. I've had to learn, you know,
(04:41):
other things like self love. I never knew what that
really entailed. So anyway, so that's why I picked this topic,
because how do we stay on subject meaning ourselves internally
and calm and happy when other people trigger us or
(05:02):
something comes up. And obviously I'm not talking about like,
you know, if somebody's sad and you just kind of
want to be there for them to support them. That's
not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about if somebody
does you wrong, or if you feel like something is
said in a derogatory way or to make you feel
(05:26):
a certain way, to make you feel bad about yourself,
to make you feel you know less than you know.
You can tell the difference. There's a difference there, right
that I'm not talking about you like being supportive of
somebody else and being sad with them and holding space
for them for a heartbreak let's say I'm talking about
something that's deliberate. That's somebody that's doing something you deliberately,
(05:50):
or even like an external circumstance that you have no
control over. It's like, how do we stay happy in
those times? So let's open up the conversation. How do
we do that? I think, first of all, it's important
to obviously do the inner work. That's what I'm really
talking about here. It's do the inner work. Find out
(06:11):
who you are, find out what makes you happy, find
out and learn about yourself. More so, there are a
couple of things that I know make me happy and
can like easily bring me back to center where I'm calm,
I'm in my own body, I'm in my own feelings,
I'm in my own energy, right And so I'll share
(06:33):
a couple of things with you that make me happy
and feel good, and one of them's journaling. I talked
about that last week on the show. So if anybody's
into journaling and or you want to start that, I
have twenty one journaling prompts on my website at Jenalobos
dot com, So if you guys want to check that out.
(06:54):
But one of the things that I love about that
the journaling is that nobody's going to read it. Okay,
you can go to your journal. Like this last week
when I was like thinking in my head, like what
am I going to talk about on the show last
or next week, which is today, I got really triggered,
you know. I'll just be honest. I was. I had
big feelings come up, and I had nowhere to turn
(07:17):
in that moment, like no one to call. You know,
I don't have like a really, I don't really have
a trusted person that I can call at any moment.
I do work with a mentor, but you know, like
I have our appointment every week, right, so it's not
like I could call her and be like, oh my god,
(07:38):
this just happened, you know. And I don't have that person,
you guys, I really don't. I It's me, you know,
And so I have to figure out how to process
things on my own a lot, you know. So what
did I do. I pulled out my journal and I
(07:59):
just started writing all my feelings down. And the good
thing about that is that I can cuss, I can
tell somebody off, I can I can just let it
all out on the page and nobody's going to read it.
Okay except for me my eyes only. So I just
felt and I always feel so like ugh, like oh,
(08:21):
I took a deep breath after I got it out
of my system. So I will stop for a second,
because we did get a question. I want to honor that, Mitsi.
My mom always read my diary when I was younger.
It really sucked. I felt like I could not keep Oh.
I'm so sorry for that, Mitsi, because that is that
is hard. I don't know how old you are now,
(08:41):
if you want to call back in and let me
know if you're comfortable sharing your age, because I hope
that did not deter you from from keeping a journal
or a diary, and hopefully maybe you don't live with
your mom anymore, or maybe you can hide it somewhere
or keep it with you, like take it with you
(09:03):
in your car, or literally have it in your purse,
like I have a small one. Oh it's not here.
I would have showed it to you, but I have
a like a real small one that I can keep
like with me in my purse. So I'm sorry that
happened to you, because that's like really an invasion of privacy, right,
So that's not cool. It's like uncool. I'm sorry that happened.
(09:27):
I would I would pick it back up. I would
get something that you can keep with yourself and don't stop,
because it really is a game changer when you can
just pour your thoughts out, you know, and honestly, Midcie,
this is like a this is a prime example of
what I'm talking about. That is a big trigger. That's
(09:48):
that's like a boundary. You know, that's like something that
your mom just totally did not she doesn't have any
boundaries with you. Not cool, not good at all. So
so yeah, don't let it stop. You find a way
to keep your diary because that's something that is for you.
And this is exactly what I'm talking about. You guys.
(10:10):
You have to figure out a way to stay in
the zone. And if journaling and diary is one of them,
then figure out something that keeps you with your boundaries
and that you're not cross. You know, hide it, hide it,
hide your hyd your journal. So yeah, anyways, so where
(10:32):
was I? Okay? So that's one way that's a big,
big way that I keep in my happy zone is
I stay on myself. I really try to focus on me,
especially if you have people like this in your life
that have no boundaries. That's another big reason to focus
on you. You know, in like like a dynamic of
(10:56):
like a boundary list relationship, or even like an alcoholic
relationship where there's the alcoholic really wants all of the attention. Right,
I'm using this as an example. They want all the
attention on them. You know, an addictive personality basically wants
all the attention. So in that situation, you really have
(11:21):
to focus on you in every moment. You, guys, in
every moment, focus on your goals, focus on getting up
and taking care of yourself. I mean just the little
things like create a ritual for yourself. I'm going to
have my hot lemon and water in the morning. I'm
going to have my hot tea. I'm going to make
(11:42):
myself a toast. I mean, just these little self care
things can lead to bigger things. So you really have
to stay focused on you. Focus on you always. How
do you get into your body? Okay, we talked about journaling.
Go for a walk. These are things that keep me
happy and on subject meet I love sunshine, you know.
(12:05):
I love getting out in the weather, walks on the beach.
I love my green tea. It makes me happy. It
makes me just I don't know, it just brings me
back to me and the simple things. You know. I
love deep conversation. I love it if you can have
some a deep conversation with a trusted person or a mentor.
(12:28):
That's priceless, you guys, because the triggers are actually happening
for us and not to us. And this is a
big part of having a different perspective on what triggers you.
It's important, it's important. And if you're not going to
talk to somebody and like dissect the trigger, then talk
(12:52):
to yourself, you know, or have a trusted friend and
have these deep conversations. But it's important to know that
they're happening for you and there's a deeper meaning to
why you're getting triggered. So an example, you get angry.
What about that trigger is making you angry? Is it
something that happened over and over again? Is it a pattern?
(13:14):
Is it, you know, something that happened in your childhood
that is now coming back up to surface. It's happening
for you. It's coming back up because it's time for
you to heal, it's time for you to actually integrate
that part of yourself. That gets angry back to you
and actually use that energy for good. I'm using anger
(13:39):
as an example, but anger actually is a fire inside
of us, right, it's think about it. You get angry
and it's like, ugh, it's like you have all this energy,
and it's like you can either use that for bad
and make it worse and go and tell every like
ten people and make this drama like we're some bigger
(14:01):
and all these things and it's dramatic and it's like
this big deal and it's like just making you feel worse,
or you can turn that fire into something else, make
it go, bake something, paint something, make art, create something.
I'm a singer, so I use my emotions a lot
(14:21):
for singing. I have a lot of experiences you guys,
believe it or not, I have been through so much
and so now I have all these emotions that I
can use and turn them into my poetry, my singing,
my songwriting. And so you know, this last week when
(14:42):
I've I was triggered, I had some big emotions come up.
I immediately went to my journal and I let them out.
And then other times little triggers happen and I have
to decipher. Okay, like, what am I going to do
with this? Right? So I'll tell you guys a personal story.
So last week I went to go get a facial
(15:03):
and I get into the facial room, and by the way,
I love the facialist, right. She calls herself a badass facialist,
and she really is, I'll give her that. But so
I go into the facial room. She's tucking me in
and we've already had like a little bit of conversation.
She's tucking me in the in the bed and she's
(15:24):
like putting the blanket on me, and I do the
facial and she or no, she tells me in the room,
I'm going to do some body work on you for free?
Is that okay? Jenna? And I'm like tucked in the
bed and am I gonna say no? Like, come on,
she's offering me bodywork for free, meaning she's going to
give me extra massage on my body for free, which
(15:47):
was not included in the facial And I was like sure, yeah,
of course, Okay, So we go through the facial, we
do the thing. It's whatever, sixty seventy five minutes, whatever
it is. I lost track of time, and so we
get out of the room. She hands me a tea,
a hot tea in a water. I'm like double fisted, right,
(16:07):
I'm like going, I have to pee really bad. So
I go to the bathroom and I'm I'm peen I
have my Then I'm I'm having my two, the water
and the hot tea. I'm going up to the pay
I'm like, I'm like dreary, you know, like after you
get out of massage, you're like, oh, kind of dreaming,
you know, like you're just feeling like you just woke up.
(16:28):
And so of course they want you to buy product
along with the facial. So I go and I'm I'm
gonna pay for my facial And of course she has
product there laid out, and she's standing right there and
she's like she had written out like this whole program
for my face for what she wanted me to do,
(16:50):
like this protocol right for post facial kind of thing.
And we're standing there at the cash register, and the
woman behind the cash registers wait for the facialists to
tell me about the products and all this stuff, And
in front of the cash registered lady she tells me.
She tells me, next time, you're gonna need to book
(17:11):
fifteen minutes earlier so I can massage you. And I
was like, oh, like I immediately woke out of my
woke up out of my like droggy state, right because
I'm feeling something right because in the room she offered
me fifteen minutes of free massage. But now outside in
front of the cash register lady when she's trying to
(17:34):
like sell me product and give me this post facial
protocol telling me to come back. Basically, she's kind of
like reprimanding me in a way. I guess like that
I needed to book fifteen minutes earlier to get this
massage that she offered for free. And I'm like, oh,
all of a sudden, I'm like alert, you know, like this,
(17:55):
I'm just giving you an example of like a like
a trigger, right, Like, oh, like wait, I didn't ask
for the fifteen minute massage, did I? And I'm now
I'm recalling, like did I do something wrong? Like My
point is is that I left there and I got
in my car and I was like WTF, Like what
what just happened? Like I shared with you guys earlier
(18:18):
that I've been pretty much manipulated and controlled all of
my all of my life. I'm just gonna say it,
you know, And so I've attracted these relationships that are
controlling and manipulating. Obviously, now I have more of a
discernment because I've worked on myself. I've healed myself. But
these small little things come up now and again, and
(18:39):
I'm like, what just happened? Because that was a manipulating
type of situation. You guys did I don't know if
anybody's following all my story, but that was super like
backhanded and manipulative in my opinion, you know, like she
was really super nice. Oh and then I forgot to
(18:59):
tell you like she was covering her face and winking
at me in front of the like so the cash
registered lady didn't see that she was winking at me,
like oh, you know, like so I can give you
a fifteen minute massage, Like she was winking at me,
Like what the hell? What do I do with that?
Like I got in my car and I was like,
wait a second, do I tell on her? Like do
(19:23):
I call the owner of the salon? And I'm gonna
be a tattletale like, you know, like I wanted to be,
like I'm telling on her, like she I didn't do
anything wrong. But it's like, what do you do with that? Shit?
I'm sorry, I'm like seriously, like are we five or ten? Like?
That was not cool either, So what do we do
(19:44):
with that? You guys? Like I had to decipher, Like
I just decided, like, okay. What went through my head
later on that day was do I want to go
back to her? Do I want to keep seeing this facialist?
And the answer is yes, like leave it or not?
The answer is yes because I like her style. I
(20:05):
love the facial that I that I get, and I
have not found anybody else that gives that kind of
facial in my area, you know. Like not to say
that if I didn't find somebody else, I would go
to somebody else, because I probably would. I would give
it a try. But so I decided that for me,
the best thing to do was just let it go.
(20:26):
But also now have discernment with this woman, right, and again,
I like her. I think she's she's cool, you know
in a sense, but that just wasn't cool what she did.
So I feel like, what am I going to do? Well,
I'm going to address it, obviously. I'm definitely going to
address it when I go back to get this facial.
(20:48):
I'm going to say, hey, like what happened with that,
you know, just out of curiosity, right, because it did
it like really kind of like was like, what what
just happened? So I'm going to address it. This is
what I decided. I'm going to address that. I'm going
to ask what happened. I'm gonna let her say whatever
she's gonna say. She's probably gonna be like laughing it off, like, oh,
(21:08):
like I wasn't supposed to give you that or whatever
her deal is. And okay, you know, because in the past,
I wouldn't have said anything, you know, I would not
have said anything. My voice was mute for a lot
of years, and so that's one thing, you know, that's
one thing you were to stay in our happy flow
(21:31):
and to have self love. You guys, we have to
speak our truth, we do. We have to speak our truth.
We have to speak up, even if we're nervous, we're scared.
I used to be really nervous and scared to speak
my truth, and sometimes I do still have those feelings.
But that's a part of the self care protocol, right,
It's it's not just going and getting facial that's part
(21:54):
of it. But it's also speaking your truth, setting boundaries,
you know, staying on subjects, which I just talked about,
and all these things keep you in your happy flow.
So I'm going to stop and I'm gonna read the questions. Okay,
Mitsy called back over forty Okay, thank you, Mitzy for
giving us your age. I was really mad. I would
(22:17):
write horrible things so mess with her, to mess with her.
Then it got old and I just quit writing because
she did that. I have not picked it up since then,
but listening to you talk about it makes me want
to start another one. Thank you all. You're welcome. Mitsye
nd percent. I'm assuming you don't live with your mom anymore,
(22:39):
so I would definitely start it started up again. Yeah,
it sounds like she was super controlling and manipulating, and
I get it. That was the way that you wanted
to kind of get back at her, to write things
that would mess with her mind. And that's, you know,
(22:59):
that's a backlage and I understand that. But figure out
a way to harness that anger, like I just talked about,
do something really good with it instead of Because here's
the thing, Mitsi. The fact that let's say that you
were still doing that right, like you were still writing
(23:21):
things in your journal that you knew your mom would
find and to make her to get back at her
in a sense, which granted, okay, I can see why
you would want to do that, but the energy is
still focused on her. Okay, So that's what she wants.
That's what these kind of people, your mom, but anybody,
that's what they want. You're giving them what they want.
(23:44):
The energy is still focused on them. So the goal
and the lesson is how does Mitzi stay on her
because that's where the real gold is, That's where the
diamond in the rough is. That's where it is is
if you put all that energy into you, heel from
(24:06):
that place to the point where you're so big in
your own life and your own energy, in your own
love for yourself that you have no like, you have
no desire to focus on your mom or people like
your mom. That's the goal. And I get it, one
hundred percent, trust me, I get it. It's so difficult,
(24:29):
but it feels so good once you're there. Once you're
there and you're like, you know what, ask yourself the questions,
why does this trigger me? What is it that you
want in your life? That's going to bring you happiness?
What's your true passions? And I always say that to myself,
like if I was where I want to be in
my mind, Let's say, for example, I really want to
(24:52):
I'll just share this. I really want to be able
to experience a big stage one day, you guys, I
want to sing on a big stage, even if it's
like an opening act or something for singing or I
just think that that experience in my lifetime would be amazing.
And so when I do get triggered, I think about that,
(25:12):
like I immediately think about that like goal of mine
or that desire, like to have that one experience. And
what if that was happening in my life in that moment,
what if the date was set, what if I had
a band set up? What if that was happening in
my life already. Would I be triggered by this thing?
(25:33):
I don't think so, Or even if I was, it
would be like, Eh, that's their shit, theirs stuff. Sorry,
I've passed like twice on this podcast. That's their stuff,
and so be it. Let them have it, Like that's
not you, So Mitzi, that's what I encourage you to do.
Pick up your journal again, get back in the flow,
(25:54):
get back into you what makes you happy, write down
the things that make you happy. Know what's going to
bring you back to yourself, And if journaling and writing
is one of them, then I say hundred percent go
back to it. Okay, Kelly asked, my stepmother used to
read my diary. We would fight. What is it with you?
(26:15):
Oh my gosh, so Midsy is not alone. Kelly had
her step mom read her diary. What is it with that?
Oh my gosh. It makes me feel like I need
to hide my hide my diaries, hide my journals. Honestly,
you guys, Yeah, Kelly, so again, I'm sorry that that happened.
(26:36):
If you're like MIDSI and you don't live with your
step mom anymore, I would pick it back up again.
I have journaling prompts on my website, Jennalobus dot com,
so if you guys want to check that out. But
it sounds like, yeah, it's you're listen. I feel like
we're always going to come across people that want to
(26:57):
take us down or are triggered by us, you know,
but are triggered by whatever we're doing in the world.
And again, I feel like as long as we're focused
on our desires and what makes us happy, then it's
not gonna affect us as much, you guys, It really isn't,
you know. And especially in relationships and like love relationships,
(27:23):
it's I think it's more important to know what makes
you happy and how you can stay on your path,
because when you are having a romantic relationship with somebody,
you're super entwined and you can easily get off your path.
And especially as women, you know, we're overgivers and we
(27:44):
need to not do that seriously, like we are innate
to It's innate in us to care and to overgive.
And I know for me, that's gotten me in a
lot of trouble, like to overgive and to focus on
what makes them happy and be so concerned about their
feelings and not like paying attention to my life. And
(28:07):
you know, it's it's caused me so many things, you guys.
I lost so much weight in like another relationship, like
I was drinking like in my early twenties, in my
first like long term relationship. Like It's just I've been
through so much, you know, and I'm telling you these
things that I'm talking to you, guys, I've really lived
(28:29):
with them, and so now I can sit here and
tell you that it's not worth it. It's you need
to figure out what makes you happy, what your desires are,
what you want in life, and really focus on that.
So yeah, I hope this helps you, guys. I'm just
looking at my notes to see I think I did
(28:50):
mention you know. It's it's really important to Again, I
think I did mention this, but I want to reiterate
it's important to know that the triggers are happening for
you and not to you, and once you can get
to the place where the comeback, like for example, I'm
gonna use the relationship example. Let's say you're with a
(29:11):
partner and you're always fighting. You're always getting triggered by
this relationship. If you decide that you want to stay
in this relationship, then you definitely need to figure out
and work on yourself enough to get to the place
where the comeback from the trigger is different, that it
comes from a more loving place within yourself. Because you
(29:36):
will see that it will diminish, the intensity of that
trigger and the energy of the dynamic within that relationship
will change, and it will either I will tell you
right now, it will either fall off and they will leave,
or they will rise to your energy, the higher energy
(29:59):
of some of love. It's just law. Basically, when you
start working on yourself and you come from a different place,
that's authentic, that's true, that it's not an act. You
really have to feel like, I got this, this is
my gig, I got this, I know who I am.
I love myself now I'm on a good path. You
(30:21):
have to really feel that internally. It can't just be
a phoniness because the phoniness is felt versus the authenticity
of Nope, this is me. I know who I am. Now.
That person will feel it and again will either rise
up to the occasion or they'll leave. They'll leave the scene.
And if they do leave the scene, then it's good
(30:44):
written into you, guys, because they did you a favor.
And again, I have lived this and that's why I
can sit here and talk about it. And I, you know,
like my last relationship, my last really like big relationship
was still healing and I didn't see that, you know,
But I had a mentor that held my hand and
(31:06):
was holding my hand helping me heal, you know, through
all this, and I just didn't see it. I was
I was heartbroken. I had really fallen in love with
this person. But I was also working on myself in
the relationship, and I was rising. I was I was,
I was healing, I was stepping into new levels of
myself and my mindset, my thinking, and my internal healing
(31:29):
was changing. And this person was not rising with me.
And so what happened was is just it wasn't working.
There was no match. There was no vibrational match anymore
to that. And so that's what happens. When we do
the things. We journal, we walk, we stay on subject,
we breathe, we work with a mentor all these things
(31:50):
we vibrationally. Vibrationally, we rise to a different level and
the things that were working with our old self aren't
going to work anymore. So people, friends, relationships, jobs, all
of that will probably leave, just organically, and there's nothing
you can do. You could just have to accept it,
(32:12):
or you can just stay where you're at. And if
that's what you want to do, then that's okay, no judgment,
you know, that's okay, no judgment. But it's just up
to you. So if you guys want to grow and
rise and really stay in a happy flow and you know,
just really feel good about your life and what you're creating.
(32:34):
Then you need to do the inner work and you
need to figure out these things. And yeah, so I
think that's it, you guys, if there's no more questions.
I really appreciate what you guys shared, Kelly and Mitzi,
and yeah, I hope this helped. I'm just trying to
look at my notes and I think I think I've
(32:56):
said what I had to say. So always great to
live with you guys here today and always again. Check
out my new website, Genalobos dot com. I am offering
coaching for women now and we dive deeper into everything
that I talked about today. And yeah, until next time,
(33:19):
love your body, love your life, take care. Bye,
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