August 27, 2024 • 51 mins
Leading nutritionist, award-winning author, and radio show host, Nancy Addison talks with Marilynn Larkin, a speaker, personal trainer, body builder, singer, posture expert, and (at age 75) first place winner in the Masters Women Bodybuilding at the Hercules Pro/Am World Natural Bodybuilding Federation competition. Marilyn expands on her struggles in life, how she has overcome those. She offers advice for becoming healthier, both mentally and physically. Marilynn's website: get unbent .com
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Organic Healthy Lifestyle is broadcast live Tuesdays at 3PM ET Music on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com Organic Healthy Lifestyle is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Organic Healthy Lifestyle Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guests should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Welcome beautiful people too, Orgain in Kalthy Lifestyle and I'm
Nancy Addison, your host. Now I always start off my
show with a prayer, and so if you'll please enjoy
the the way you would like, I'm going to start
by reading John four eight. Today. Whoever does not love
does not know God, because God is love, and I
(01:01):
just ask our divine creator, please allow your love for
us to extinguish any fear that we may have. Enable
us to become quiet and focused on your spirit of
divine love. May we feel the waves of peace washing
over us in the earth and clearing away any anxiety
or negative situations. We claim and declare your grace, love
(01:26):
and promises, and gratefully accept your gifts of strength, compassion, fortitude, flexibility, wisdom, insight,
and perfect health. Bring peace to our souls that surpasses
all worldly understanding, and make us a light for others
to see Your strength I ask this in the highest
(01:50):
good of all concerned, for everyone listening now and for
everyone listening in the future. Thank you, And so it
is today. You're blessed to have Marilyn Larkin on the show.
And she is a true inspiration and is just quite admirable.
She's an ACE certified trainer, motivational speaker, coach, personal trainer,
(02:16):
a singer, posture expert, and she's the founder of Get Unbent.
Maryland motivates everyone and tries to get them to move
beyond their self imposed restrictions. She was diagnosed with breast
cancer in twenty twenty three and she pushed herself mentally
(02:37):
and physically, and that's when she founded Get Unbent Training
to become a bodybuilder again. And at age seventy five,
yes you heard me right, at the age of seventy
five years young, she competed in the Hercules pro Am
World Natural Bodybuilder Federation competition in White Plains, New York
(03:01):
and she won first place in the Masters Women's bodybuilding category.
She has a true inspiration for everyone, and I welcome
you to the show today, Marylyn.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I don't know if I can live up to that
wonderful introduction Nancy, thank you well, happy to be here.
I appreciate the opportunity and I'm looking forward to chatting
with you.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Oh well, thank you so much. I was simply reading
the facts.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
It's I will jump in here and say this has
been a kind of transition for me my persona. You know,
you said I've done a lot of different things, which
is true, but this is a new level and it
takes I'm getting used to so you know, I'm still
(04:01):
putting on my I'm still owning you know who I
am and what I'm doing. So that that's what I
want to say there.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Well, I really enjoyed our conversation that we've had previously
to this and your sex just a real humble, caring,
kind person who you know has really created the life
that you wanted to have and not just you know,
(04:30):
felt victim and you know went that direction. And I
would love for you to share with our listeners kind
of your story how you got into what you were
doing and bring us up to the present time on
how you got to where you are today.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Sure, I'll give them what we call the clip notes version,
meaning it's the short version, otherwise we need much more
than the five moment that's but very quickly is really
that I've always loved to move. So I was what
we call a tomboy growing up, meaning that I was
a female who loved to play sports and stuff like that.
(05:14):
But when I was growing up, you know, we were
not looking at girls going into athletics and stuff like that.
So I went into a I became a writer, into
an intellectual pursuit, but I always did movement next to that.
So in college, I did gymnastics and fencing. I took
(05:36):
acting class, which with the Grotowski technique, which is a
very physical technique where you use your body as your
instrument and do tumbling and stuff like that. And so
I've always had these two sides of myself, mental and physical,
And you know, the physical side came up into a
(06:03):
kind of forward stay in two thousand and two when
I first did a bodybuilding competition. And I did the
competition not because oh I have to compete with people.
I do it to challenge myself. It's like Rishchakov says,
I don't compete with anyone else, I compete with myself.
(06:25):
And that's totally true. It's always been true with me.
So I just really wanted to push myself and I did,
and I was surprised and glad, but no, I didn't
want to keep repeating it because people were telling me
back then, oh, you're inspiring me, And I felt great
about that, But I said to myself, you know, I
(06:46):
can't inspire people to do bodybuilding, God, so what am
I going to do? I got my certifications and I
became a personal trainer and group fitness instructor. So that
was another way of using my knowledge and my physicality.
Fast forward, I did ballroom dancing and ballroom dancing competitions
(07:10):
and other kinds of things. Again, just because I like
to go see how far can I go? Can I
do tricks? Can I be flung up in the air
and flung down again? Yes? Yes? Can I get meniscus
repair after that because my knee got a little steared up,
But we move on from there. And so I've been
(07:34):
weight training since nineteen ninety one, just because I love
feeling strong and lifting weights does that. I know a
lot of women feel, oh, I can't lift weights because
I'm going to get muscular and I'm not going to
look good. You know that's not true. Yes, you will
get a little more muscular. But the main thing is
(07:56):
you're going to get stronger, You're going to be able
to function, You're going to look good. I remember being
told that I that somebody couldn't believe I was such
a feminine looking bodybuilder. So people have preconceived notions that
really don't bear out in reality. Feel free to interrupt me.
(08:17):
And it's coming forward to now. So I was just
doing my writing, you know, to earn a living and
a medical writer and a journalist, and doing my weight
training and dance classes. I like to do hip hop
and stuff like that, not worrying that I'm thirty or
(08:39):
forty years older than the people in the class. This
is Broadway Dance Center, it's an international school, and people
accepted me, and you know, I was just having a
lot of fun. And then the pandemic. I'm sorry, the
pandemic came, unfortunately, which I blamed for most negative things
(09:03):
that have happened and subsequent to that, and one thing
that happened to me was that I saw a lump
while I was trying to keep myself fit by doing
like fifty to eighty pushups a day, and so I
thought the lump was from that, but as it turned out,
and I let it go for a year because who
(09:24):
wanted to go into the hospital or anything like that.
During the pandemic, I was going anywhere but my you know,
very restricted movements here. And it turned out that I
had breast cancer, which was bored me because I never
had anything wrong with me and don't have known risk
(09:46):
factors except I was having a couple of beers at night,
so I had alcohol, which I immediately stopped. And then
I had to go through surgery and go and go
through it too. Surgeries actually in radiation. When you go
through that, you can't do heavy lifting afterwards. You have
(10:07):
to go back to like five pounds. You can't even
lift your arms over your head. So this was shocking
to me, but you know, I had to go through it.
I said, that's it. I'm just going to do what
I'm going to I tell people, do what you keep
on doing what you've always done, and you can keep
on doing it even if you have to make modifications,
(10:28):
which is what I did. You know, Fortunately I had
a great trainer. He went right back with me to
five pounds, which is like a tenth of what I
had been working on, and built back up you know,
and so I thought in January, so far unstable, even
(10:50):
though the cancer had metastasized it with stage four very
shortly after it was diagnosed. And as I think, I
told you, Nancy, you know, I can't tell people how
to get cancer treated, but I know for me, my
quality of life is the main thing. So I didn't
(11:11):
really want medications that were going to be toxic, and
so I refused them. I refuse chemotherapy and other stuff.
I am taking one tiny hormone blocker pill since my
cancer was hormone receptor positive. And though several times over
(11:34):
the past year, the medical collegist wanted me to go
to stronger medications and I said no, and she was
surprised to see that somehow I stabilized anyway, So that's
where I am. And I said, let me do this
bodybuilding competition as a legacy, because people keep coming and
telling me I'm inspiring them. I feel like I'm just
(11:56):
living my life, but you know, they interrupt training sessions.
Guy's call down the street and I go stuff like that. Still,
I said, let me reach a wider audience because I
want everyone to know that you don't have to stop
doing what you love to do because of a certain
chronological age, or even if you have an injury, you
(12:21):
can work around it, or you have a diagnosis. My
diagnosis means that my liver is swollen and that my
stomach area retains fluid. So you can imagine that that's
not good to show a six stack in a bodybuilding competition.
(12:43):
It's because my stomach is always extended, even though my
ebs are strong. So I had to live with myself.
I had to say, this is what your body is now,
and then you're going to do what you want to do.
And that's basically where I'm at now. You know, I'm
actually probably going to do another competition in the spring.
(13:05):
I'll tell you more about that later after I keep
quiet for a moment time.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I mean, I think, what a journey you've been on,
and I'm really fascinated by the fact that you just
pulled yourself together and went and did this competition, and
you know that that takes a lot of mental strength.
I believe to kind of push through that unknown that
(13:34):
is out there and go do something that you feel
is valuable for your life, even if it's just for
the experience alone.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead, oh no, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
No.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I think that's a critical message that I also try
to get across. It's about the journey. It's about actually
doing something. It's not about if you win or lose.
That's meaningless, especially in competitions where you have judges, because
ninety percent of the time, you know, it's not like oh,
three seconds or four ounce as fall. It's people's opinions,
(14:13):
and even when they have strict criteria, you know, other
factors enter into it. And I always said, you know,
no one is my judge. I'm my own judge of myself.
So I'm doing this for me. And you know, I
think for anyone who does anything that they haven't done
(14:35):
what they want to do, and they start on that path,
you've already you're a winner. You are already winning.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I love that message, and you're I so agree with
you in that, and I've I've really embarked on and
embraced that whenever I'm faced with something that I would
like to do or challenge with, or an adventure like
you know, going somewhere I've never gone maybe by myself
(15:06):
or something. I've really pushed myself to go do those things.
So that I think it's like doctor Jodas Benza, who's
a meditation person that I listen to sometimes. He says
that every time we have a thought, it makes a
connection in our brain, and every time we think that
(15:29):
you know things, thoughts again they make those stronger connections
in your brain. And in order to change your present
situation or your present reality to be better, then you
have to get out there and have new adventures and
(15:49):
new thoughts and create new brain waves that offset the
old patterns that may not have been working for you
in the past. I have found that to be a
little challenging at times, but yet I had a therapist
once I went to when I was getting my divorce,
and she said, you know, you're embarking on new territory
(16:15):
and it can seem really scary. And frequently people will
stay in really bad situations, like an abusive marriage or
something because it's a familiar pattern. Even if it's not pleasant,
people will stay in that because they at least know
what's going to happen. And if you break out of
(16:36):
that pattern and embark on new territory, it's like, Ooh,
I'm heading into the unknown. It comes scary. And she said, Nancy,
you've got to just go out there and push through
that fear and try new things. And so you know,
this is what you've done, and I think it's just,
(16:59):
you know, really great. And you know, I'm turning seventy
this year and so I'm right up there with you.
And I think so many people our age, you know,
they just kind of think, oh, my life is over,
or they go, you know, retire or whatever, and that
means yeah, I think people are happier and live better,
(17:23):
productive lives, joyful lives when they have some kind of
goal or some kind of purpose. And so I love
that you created this unbent getting bent and being someone
who grew up with scoliosis, has been challenged with all
(17:45):
kinds of posture problems throughout you know, I think I
think what you're doing is really fantastic.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Thank you, and I agree with everything you've said. And
you know, one other piece to add on that they
and partly relating to posture. And then I want to
get back to posture again for another moment. When I
did my posture work at workshops, you know, people would say, oh,
I feel uncomfortable. You know, when you first get into
(18:15):
good posture, they think, oh, I'm going to feel great,
but no, you're not going to feel great right away
because it's new, it's different. You have to go through that.
And I say, you feel your fear and then you
go through it, So that's a little different. It's not
saying to deny your fear. It's like, oh my god,
I'm scared, and then okay, what do I do next?
(18:39):
And I think that sometimes facilitates the process for me,
just acknowledging my feeling. And you know, with respect to posture,
the connection between posture and self esteem and how you
present yourself to the world and how other people perceive
you and how you feel. It's it's been shown over
(19:02):
and over in different kinds of research studies that this
is a strong the mind body connection is real and
with posture that the great thing is that when you
change your posture at the same time, you're changing your mood.
So as you're looking more confident, you're actually feeling more confident.
(19:26):
So it's like whistle a happy tune and no one
will know you're afraid. Sometimes you just have to put
on that posture and then let it work its magic,
so that you know if you're feeling a bit down
or you're feeling scared or you're feeling anything other than
like wanting to be here in the moment. By sitting up,
(19:48):
straightening up, whatever you're doing to make yourself feel taller,
to feel more open, to be able to breathe better,
you know that's going to change everything.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. I studied body
mind communication with the Australasian College of Health and Science,
and that whole philosophy in science is that we hold
trauma in every tissue in our body. That used to say,
(20:22):
the issues in your tissue. And when I when I
took this, you know, my my posture wasn't that great.
But I would practice standing up against like the wall
really right and push myself to do it. And I remember,
is she One of the things she taught us is
(20:44):
your feet need to be pointed forward so that you're
going forward in life. If your feet are pointed outwards
or inwards, then you're going to tump over or you're
going to you know, not have the right balance. And
I remember I'd be somewhere and I'd be standing up
straight and I'd have my feet down just pointing right
(21:04):
in the right direction, and I think, oh, my gosh,
I most lock so weird because it feels so different
because it's different from the way I had been standing. Right,
But when I'd look in the mirror sometimes if I
was I've got a department store or something, I would
be straight and my feet would be forward. Yet it
takes a while to kind of adjust your mind to
(21:27):
that feeling comfortable and normal for you. So you do
kind of have to push yourself to correct those things
until that does become your normal. Right.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yes, that's such an important point, you know. It's one
area I think changing behavior where those of us like me,
who I'm a kinesthetic person, so I'm in touch with feelings.
I'm introspective, I'm in touch with my feelings. But I
can be wrong. I can feel like, you know, uncomfortable,
(22:05):
like you just said, I can feel like I look ridiculous,
and then you look in the mirror and say, no,
You've got to do a reality check because the feeling
is not. The feeling of discomfort sometimes overwhelms the reality
of what you're doing right before you start feeling it
(22:28):
and starts becoming as you said, it becomes more I
don't want to use the word normal, but it becomes
more normal for you to feel good in a good
posture or anything that you change. And so there's always
going to you know, you read some women's magazines and
(22:50):
stuff and they you know, oh, get a friend. You
know you feel down, write a letter. Well, if you
could write a letter, get a friend, maybe you wouldn't
feel down. These are very thin polistic, so they want
to gloss over the fact that when you make changes
and do something, you're going to have this discomfort period.
(23:12):
But there's nothing wrong with it. It's part of going
through It's like going through a tunnel and coming at
the other end, because when you come at that other end,
you are changed in all the right good ways.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you know it's interesting. I'm
a member of the National Speakers Association, and so I've
spoken all over the world in different venues. And one
of the things you really realize is that when someone
walks into a room, let's say they walk in and
they're all humped over, they do not they do not
(23:53):
put off a confidence or a joy or and you
can tell that they're feeling they're feeling that. And yet
if you and I know you probably experienced this. But
when I'm going somewhere and I, you know, kind of
refine my posture as I'm getting myself ready. It changes
(24:18):
the way you feel. Yes, you know, like when you
stand up really straight and you feel that confidence, then
that confidence kind of infuses itself into your being this
and into your voice and into you know, whatever it
is you're getting ready to do. And it's kind of
(24:39):
like they, you know, the whole science behind if you smile,
it actually tricks your brain into being more joyful.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Yes, exactly, like the whistle of happy tune. It's all
connected and you find as you go along this path
your own tricks of what makes you, you know, feel
that connection that quickly and with effect for you. So
whether it's saying, oh, I'm I know, you know, my
(25:13):
idol is Peter Pan. I love that open pot. Whenever
you see a picture of Peter Pan, the arms are
stretched out, the legs are stretched out, and he's lying
and you know, that's that's such a great way to
feel when you you know, when you to take your point,
when somebody comes on the stage to speak and they're
(25:35):
looking down or they're hunched over, the message that comes
across to the audience is really, I don't really want
to be here. Somebody who wants to be there and
wants to connect with the audience comes in and exudes
an energy that says, I'm here, I'm open, you know,
(25:56):
I welcome your energy, and I'm going to give you energy.
When you're down and you're closed, none of that happens,
and it doesn't make for a successful talk. It doesn't
make for a successful interaction with the people that you're
talking to.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yes, that's just that's just so true. And I think
this really expands to every part of our lives. You know,
how you show up for your family, how you show
up for your friends when you meet them somewhere, or
you know, whatever it may be. I think, you know,
we we do hold those emotions in our body and
(26:34):
we need to create the reality that we want to
have because I do believe that we do create what
our life is like. And it's through our interactions with others.
It's how we think of ourselves. It's you know, do
we feel worthy of this? And I believe we're all worthy,
(26:57):
that we are born worthy, that the divine has created
us all unique with these all unique special gifts that
are just ours, and we have that connection with the
divine and I think we just in many ways have
to trust that and be that love of God that
(27:19):
we that we can be.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Yeah, and you know it's not as difficult or overwhelming
as it might see when you and I talk about
it and we know or we're talking about and we're
connecting along with connecting with other people who understand and
have lived through this. But for people who haven't tried
yet and who are just kind of on the fence,
are still feeling you know that inertia is what the
(27:47):
word that I came to me when you were talking
about just staying and not taking that risk. And you know,
I want to say, it's just like if you want
to walk a thousands steps, you start by walking ten
steps if you haven't been walking, and in fixing and
improving your posture and improving your energy and your breathing,
(28:10):
it's the same thing. You know that you work in
steps and you can start that way without feeling like
you're going to change. You can't change your whole self,
you know, and one fell swoop anyway, So picking what
you you know, think about a situation where you really
like to come across with a powerful posture and a
(28:34):
powerful energy and start there that one situation, can you
change that? And then it becomes also self fulfilling because
once you go through that discomfort we talked about it
come out of the other end, you feel great because
it's it's resilience and it's self efficacy. You are doing
(28:58):
something for your self, and many times doing something for yourself,
you're also doing it for those around you because people
will see you, they'll start to emulate you. They will
recognize that you may have a different energy, you may
be more open. So these are changes that affect your
(29:21):
interactions with other people as well.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Oh, I think you're so right, and I think you know,
whenever any of us, you know, do something that's challenging
for us, it does inspire others and help them to
be maybe more brave as well. And I want to
really touch on the fact that weightlifting. One of the
(29:48):
things I've realized over the years is that we've come
to sedentary. We do not get the exercise you know
people used to get, and we don't lift things like
you know, maybe people used to do in you know,
previous times. And what I've realized as I've gotten older
(30:09):
and I used to be in a dance company, in London,
and I was very athletic as well Maryland. But as
I got older and I had kids in the family.
I mean, you can lug around kids, that's like lifting
weights right there, but it's not quite the same. And
but for our overall health and well being, weight training
(30:32):
is one of the very best things that any of
us could possibly do, and especially as we get older,
because you know, like getting up from a chair, you know,
keeping your core muscles really strong. One of the ways
I kind of overcame my schooliessis diagnosis was that I
(30:54):
did ballet exercises and I did some weight training. And
it wasn't heavy weights, maybe like what you do, you know,
maybe I did five pounds or eight pounds, or maybe
even just two pounds once in a while. But I
found that I feel so much better, my joints feel better,
(31:14):
and my weight is better when I do some kind
of weight training on a regular basis.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Yes, that is so true. It's not just because I
happen to love it. But you know, resistance training is
recommended in physical activity guidelines for all ages. You can't
just do aerobics. I mean you can, but you're missing
out on a lot of benefits function. I'm big on function,
(31:44):
so I agree with you. I'm I order my food online.
I don't go into store shopping, partly because I'm lustrophobic.
I don't like to be in these big stores. But
you know, I still have to carry things. You have
to can't lift things, move furniture. Maybe whatever it is
you need to do, you're going to do it better
(32:09):
when you've already are a bit stronger from doing weight training,
and of course doing it in the right with the
right posture, and so you don't injure yourself. But that's
another important thing. Weight training really prevents injuries when you
work it up correctly, slowly. People are afraid, oh, I'm
(32:31):
going to hurt myself. Well, you know, no, not because
of weight training. I'm not saying that people can't hurt themselves,
but it's not specific to weight training. That's just knowing
how to move properly and being patient and you know,
doing what starting off at a safe pace and moving forward.
(32:55):
So again, as you said, Nancy, a couple of pounds
or five pounds whatever. I wrote a song. This is
something I didn't say when I was going through the
story of my life, but during the pandemic. Before the diagnosis,
I got on an online open mic as a medical expert,
(33:17):
and people were a long time in the musicians playing
songs with each other. What's the open mic is? And
I said, oh, I want to do that. I had
taken guitar lists when I was ten, and long story short,
I ordered a guitar online. I started to play and
then I wrote a song and I recorded it. It's
(33:39):
on Spotify and all that other stuff. I didn't go
further with the music, but the song, the point of
it is. The song is called just do It because
this is where I come from, and it's all about that.
It's about feeling uptight and just doing something. It's about
feeling like you want to rebel and not do what
they tell you to do it. Sometimes that's correct, Well,
(34:02):
sometimes you just have to do it. So I think,
you know, that is the energy that I feel like
we share, Nancy, that it's so important to do these
things and do something and not sit on the sidelines.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. I don't know
why that makes me think of I was I was
going to go to see and I was going to
have to see my ex husband at something I was
going to and I was feeling a little bit trapid,
a little trepidation there, and I went and signed up
(34:40):
for trapeze lessons, and I'm afraid of heights. I take
this two hour trapeze lesson pushed through my fear. I
have to admit it was terrifying when the guy told
me to let go and grab on to the Trappees
(35:01):
way up there in the sky. You forget you've gotta
strap around your waist.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I actually went to the Trappee school here in New York.
I ended up doing a whole day. I said, no
I can. I couldn't because I'm also afraid of mis
I get. I couldn't swing, So you got one pumping there.
But also I did the mock you know, the rock
climbing classes that they have. That was enough when you're
(35:30):
I'm small on like five two, and my limbs are short,
so most machines and setups in the gym like this
rock climbing are made for people that are like five seven,
so the real stretch to climb up and go up
and like. But you know again, I think even if
(35:52):
we both I don't know how you felt. I felt
like I didn't really want to keep doing it again
and again and again. I'm glad I did it.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Well, you know, it's it's my theory is I pushed
myself to something that I was, you know, actually terrified
of doing it, and then I did it, and then
I felt so good, Right, so I could go show
up and be confident and feel good about you know,
(36:21):
who I was.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Or Yeah, every time you do something that you're afraid
to do, you gain confidence. There's no way not to.
And that's why I say it's not about winning or
losing or where you end up on the track, or
if you do something you know ten times or one
time you do it the way you want to do it,
(36:44):
but you just do it, and that alone is so empowering.
And this is a time of life, particularly getting older,
you want to feel empowered. You know. There's a lot
of people out there within and just stereotypes. And I
felt it when I very occasionally when I went to
Broadway Dance Center and I'm standing outside the class waiting
(37:06):
to go in, I could sense and see, you know
a few people like looking at me like what she
doing here? Or or if I you know, I stand
near the front usually because I can't see, but also
because I do have to know what I'm doing and
be like, oh, you know, what's she doing there? And
then boom they see that I know what I'm doing.
(37:28):
Oh and I never see that look again. But there
are those looks, and you know I don't live by them.
I live. I'm wanting to say, just wait and see
and you will change your perceptions. That people have come
up to me and told me that as well. But
I have to admit I do get a little kick
(37:49):
out of that. You know, when people that I know
are just stereotyping have to revise their stereotypes. So the
other is the very importan. I reminded myself that there's
a study Beca Levi has done several studies in this
area showing that self stereotyping where we become older and
(38:13):
then we start giving ourselves these same horrible messages that
people you know, with all the stereotypes, you can actually
it shortens life by seven years. That people who self
stereotype did not live as long one and I'm sure
they didn't have a great quality of life. So we
(38:33):
want to reverse all of that and make a new script,
not a stereotype and say you know, yes, this is
what it's like to be seventy seventy five, have a
cancer diagnosis, you know, not have it. It's this is it.
This is where we're pioneers in that sense, and let's
(38:55):
keep doing that everyone, everyone who's listening, and everyone who.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Will I bravo, Yes, I probably agree. In fact, you know,
there are so many stereotypes about older people. And you know,
I've had so many friends say, oh, Nancy, why don't
you get a face lift, or why don't you get
this thing done? Or why don't you color your hair?
(39:23):
Or you know, your hair so long, why don't you
cut it off? And there are a lot of older
people that really conform to those kind of preconceived notions
about what you should do when you're you know, getting older.
And I love having long hair and I'm going to
keep it and I'm not going to diet, and I'm
(39:44):
not going to get a face left, and I'm going
to enjoy being who I am and my real self
and not having any kind of a I don't know,
artificially done thing to me that just doesn't go with
who I am or what I want my life to be.
(40:07):
And so it's you know, I think it's finding comfort
in who you are and where you are in your life.
And I think part of that is staying in shape.
Keeping your posture good, I think is an enormous part
of that, and keeping your muscles strong. As I watch
older people basically kind of waste away, they they just
(40:30):
kind of give up and they you know, go play
magong all the time. But you know, it's it's not
that mosang is bad. That keeps your mind active in
you're with friends. But I'm saying, you know, add a
few things to that that you know, walking Like my
friend and I we started walking before dawn in the mornings.
(40:53):
And I know Linda Gray, the actress who is in Dallas,
She's gets up and she walks like a mile every
morning at like six thirty and sometimes two miles, and
she's turning eighty four in a couple of weeks. And
you know, she's such an inspiration as well. And you know,
(41:16):
part part of it is your mindset. And I think
this is where you're so fabulous, Marylyn, is that you
are motivating and inspiring people to set their mind on
the on you know, creating their new reality for who
they are at you know, whatever age they're there being
(41:39):
their experience in at the time.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Well and full disclosure, and I'm not really sorry to
say it, but I do have to think. I do
color my hair. I've been coloring my hair since I'm
in my forties. When the boyfriend I had at the
time said why do you dye your hair black? I said,
I don't dye my hair black or anything. This isn't
(42:03):
my hair. And then people started talking about having red
highlights because you know, I have that kind of complexion
for it, and I liked it, and then you know,
I just went into it. There was no there's nothing
about the fact that I color my hair, and I
do it myself. Now through the pandemic, I found these
(42:25):
different semi mathnetic panic colors that I just mixed together.
But this is an expression of me. So this is
part of this has nothing to do with my trying
to look younger. I never even thought of it that
way until people's until I have a friend of mine,
I said, oh, I'm letting myself go gray. I said, fine,
you know, so why and like, why don't you? I said,
(42:47):
this hair is part of my definition. You know, I
don't even wear hats anymore. And I look good in
hats because this is part of who I am. So
I just I just want to put that out there,
that out my you know, going against aging was nothing
to do with it, but I do own, you know,
that part of my persona. So I just want to
(43:09):
also say that it's okay to do some things if
you know why you're doing it. I've never done anything
for an effect. Okay, I've never worked out because I
have to lose x ounce, or I do it because
it feels great to me while I'm doing it at
the moment, or I'm like the color I'm living with it,
(43:32):
and that If that's why you're doing something, then I
think it's okay. I think it's for your own self
feeling better for whatever reason about yourself. But I do
agree that you should. I wouldn't say nobody's ever told
me I should get a facelift. In fact, when I've
asked people, do you think they should get a face face?
(43:54):
Say no, you know, so you know I haven't a
few times I've said that, well you know, it depends
on the person.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Well, you are so right, and those are really great
valid points, and I have nothing against it. If people
do any of those things. It's just a personal choice
for me. And you know, it's just I've never been
that been that direction. But I came from an area
(44:25):
in Dallas that was very much all about the what
you look like, right, it was very much what clothes
you wore, you know, what jewelry you had on or whatever.
And I've just kind of, uh not been that kind
of person ever in my life, and so I tend
(44:47):
to go to the opposite direction. But I have absolutely
deahing against any of people, you know, doing any of
those things. If that is what you personally want inside
your heart art and it's not somebody pushing it onto
you as a you know, oh you're this age, you
need to.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Do all horrible word anti aging. I hate that word
anti aging. Tough everybody ages. Like I said, I don't
think any of us should do anything because somebody else
says we should do it. I mean, I'm a long
time it was like a hippie and I will rebelled
against everything, and I, you know, to whatever I wanted.
(45:31):
I grew up mainly in New York and I traveled around,
so it was a different maybe atmosphere, but I felt
comfortable rebelling my whole life. So this is just just
an extension of that. It's rebelling unfortunately now because of
the stereotypes and because of the pressure that society in
(45:54):
various ways puts on people. But we could say, no,
we don't even have to fight back. I don't even
consider it rebelling anymore. I just consider it, you know,
turning it off and saying, you know, I can't be
bothered with this, it's meaningless me.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
No, I agree. And I think we both grew up
in the era where the magazines and things started putting
out a lot of you know, touched up photographs that
nobody could look really like, and it it put a
big strain on especially like young girls, teenage girls that
(46:32):
you know, felt like, you know, maybe they weren't good
enough or something. But I think in many ways most
people have come around to realize that, you know, you
can't be you know this, this touched up photo, because
that's not real. And of course now we've got the
AI challenge, and I haven't only knows what that's going
(46:54):
to look like.
Speaker 3 (46:57):
Yes, yes, I try to.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
But Mayor and we are getting towards the end of
the show, we have about three four minutes left, and
I would love for you to just I want to
tell you, first of all, I'm so thankful for you
joining me today and I'm just honored, and I just
want to thank you so much for being here and
sharing your wonderful ideas with everyone. And I would love
(47:24):
for you to share with our listeners a few key
points that you think are important for your posture or
for your health that they could do maybe at home
without spending any money. And then maybe just a parting
thought for our listeners before we have to sign off,
if there's any events coming up for you that you
(47:47):
may want to share with everyone, please do well.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
Thank you, Nancy. I love this and if time has
rushed on and I appreciate again the opportunity, it's been great.
And I'll just say that I don't, you know, events
kind of come up out of nowhere sometimes so that
I know I'm going to be doing I believe, another
natural bodybuilding competition in the spring. But people can stay
(48:15):
you know, in touch with me and look at what
events are coming up by going to my website which
is up there www dot get on vent dot com.
And in terms of posture and get unbent by the way,
it means unbending your body, also unbending your mind and
spirit opening up on all levels. So I don't know
(48:40):
how much time flip. But for posture tips, I think
when you're sitting there's a great trip trick, which is
certainly feel like somebody's pouring on glass. If I swater
down your back, what happens you sit up straight. You
may be able to only hold it for a second.
(49:00):
But each time you do that, if you remind yourself,
you'll be getting into the habit of sitting up straighter
than you were. That's one but the other thing about posture,
and you'll see I have a posture challenge on the
website and there will be more of it. Accept where
you're starting from. Look in the mirror, accept your body,
(49:24):
and say this is me, what do I want to change?
And then we'll take a step by step approach. That's
the biggest message. Nobody has to remake themselves all at once,
or even at all. But you can improve your posture
at any point in life.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
I love that. That's a beautiful thing to think about it.
I sat right straight up straight when I had the
water go down my back.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
I feel it too.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
I do it to myself, so thank you so much
for joining me. Those are wonderful, wonderful inspirational tips for
all of us to use. And remember that when when
you do weight training, your metabolism speeds up for like
thirty six hours after you do it. So anybody wants
(50:19):
to get in shape, you know, weight training is a
great thing to do, and go to her website, get
on you in bent b E n T dot com
and look at her information. It's wonderful and I just
don't think you can go wrong.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Thanks so much, Nancy and everybody for listening.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Thank you, and for everyone out there listening. Marilyn and
I send you. We wish you great health and great
peace in your life. Yeah, and I will talk to
you all next week.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
In intimating to
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guests should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Welcome beautiful people too, Orgain in Kalthy Lifestyle and I'm
Nancy Addison, your host. Now I always start off my
show with a prayer, and so if you'll please enjoy
the the way you would like, I'm going to start
by reading John four eight. Today. Whoever does not love
does not know God, because God is love, and I
(01:01):
just ask our divine creator, please allow your love for
us to extinguish any fear that we may have. Enable
us to become quiet and focused on your spirit of
divine love. May we feel the waves of peace washing
over us in the earth and clearing away any anxiety
or negative situations. We claim and declare your grace, love
(01:26):
and promises, and gratefully accept your gifts of strength, compassion, fortitude, flexibility, wisdom, insight,
and perfect health. Bring peace to our souls that surpasses
all worldly understanding, and make us a light for others
to see Your strength I ask this in the highest
(01:50):
good of all concerned, for everyone listening now and for
everyone listening in the future. Thank you, And so it
is today. You're blessed to have Marilyn Larkin on the show.
And she is a true inspiration and is just quite admirable.
She's an ACE certified trainer, motivational speaker, coach, personal trainer,
(02:16):
a singer, posture expert, and she's the founder of Get Unbent.
Maryland motivates everyone and tries to get them to move
beyond their self imposed restrictions. She was diagnosed with breast
cancer in twenty twenty three and she pushed herself mentally
(02:37):
and physically, and that's when she founded Get Unbent Training
to become a bodybuilder again. And at age seventy five,
yes you heard me right, at the age of seventy
five years young, she competed in the Hercules pro Am
World Natural Bodybuilder Federation competition in White Plains, New York
(03:01):
and she won first place in the Masters Women's bodybuilding category.
She has a true inspiration for everyone, and I welcome
you to the show today, Marylyn.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I don't know if I can live up to that
wonderful introduction Nancy, thank you well, happy to be here.
I appreciate the opportunity and I'm looking forward to chatting
with you.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Oh well, thank you so much. I was simply reading
the facts.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
It's I will jump in here and say this has
been a kind of transition for me my persona. You know,
you said I've done a lot of different things, which
is true, but this is a new level and it
takes I'm getting used to so you know, I'm still
(04:01):
putting on my I'm still owning you know who I
am and what I'm doing. So that that's what I
want to say there.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Well, I really enjoyed our conversation that we've had previously
to this and your sex just a real humble, caring,
kind person who you know has really created the life
that you wanted to have and not just you know,
(04:30):
felt victim and you know went that direction. And I
would love for you to share with our listeners kind
of your story how you got into what you were
doing and bring us up to the present time on
how you got to where you are today.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Sure, I'll give them what we call the clip notes version,
meaning it's the short version, otherwise we need much more
than the five moment that's but very quickly is really
that I've always loved to move. So I was what
we call a tomboy growing up, meaning that I was
a female who loved to play sports and stuff like that.
(05:14):
But when I was growing up, you know, we were
not looking at girls going into athletics and stuff like that.
So I went into a I became a writer, into
an intellectual pursuit, but I always did movement next to that.
So in college, I did gymnastics and fencing. I took
(05:36):
acting class, which with the Grotowski technique, which is a
very physical technique where you use your body as your
instrument and do tumbling and stuff like that. And so
I've always had these two sides of myself, mental and physical,
And you know, the physical side came up into a
(06:03):
kind of forward stay in two thousand and two when
I first did a bodybuilding competition. And I did the
competition not because oh I have to compete with people.
I do it to challenge myself. It's like Rishchakov says,
I don't compete with anyone else, I compete with myself.
(06:25):
And that's totally true. It's always been true with me.
So I just really wanted to push myself and I did,
and I was surprised and glad, but no, I didn't
want to keep repeating it because people were telling me
back then, oh, you're inspiring me, And I felt great
about that, But I said to myself, you know, I
(06:46):
can't inspire people to do bodybuilding, God, so what am
I going to do? I got my certifications and I
became a personal trainer and group fitness instructor. So that
was another way of using my knowledge and my physicality.
Fast forward, I did ballroom dancing and ballroom dancing competitions
(07:10):
and other kinds of things. Again, just because I like
to go see how far can I go? Can I
do tricks? Can I be flung up in the air
and flung down again? Yes? Yes? Can I get meniscus
repair after that because my knee got a little steared up,
But we move on from there. And so I've been
(07:34):
weight training since nineteen ninety one, just because I love
feeling strong and lifting weights does that. I know a
lot of women feel, oh, I can't lift weights because
I'm going to get muscular and I'm not going to
look good. You know that's not true. Yes, you will
get a little more muscular. But the main thing is
(07:56):
you're going to get stronger, You're going to be able
to function, You're going to look good. I remember being
told that I that somebody couldn't believe I was such
a feminine looking bodybuilder. So people have preconceived notions that
really don't bear out in reality. Feel free to interrupt me.
(08:17):
And it's coming forward to now. So I was just
doing my writing, you know, to earn a living and
a medical writer and a journalist, and doing my weight
training and dance classes. I like to do hip hop
and stuff like that, not worrying that I'm thirty or
(08:39):
forty years older than the people in the class. This
is Broadway Dance Center, it's an international school, and people
accepted me, and you know, I was just having a
lot of fun. And then the pandemic. I'm sorry, the
pandemic came, unfortunately, which I blamed for most negative things
(09:03):
that have happened and subsequent to that, and one thing
that happened to me was that I saw a lump
while I was trying to keep myself fit by doing
like fifty to eighty pushups a day, and so I
thought the lump was from that, but as it turned out,
and I let it go for a year because who
(09:24):
wanted to go into the hospital or anything like that.
During the pandemic, I was going anywhere but my you know,
very restricted movements here. And it turned out that I
had breast cancer, which was bored me because I never
had anything wrong with me and don't have known risk
(09:46):
factors except I was having a couple of beers at night,
so I had alcohol, which I immediately stopped. And then
I had to go through surgery and go and go
through it too. Surgeries actually in radiation. When you go
through that, you can't do heavy lifting afterwards. You have
(10:07):
to go back to like five pounds. You can't even
lift your arms over your head. So this was shocking
to me, but you know, I had to go through it.
I said, that's it. I'm just going to do what
I'm going to I tell people, do what you keep
on doing what you've always done, and you can keep
on doing it even if you have to make modifications,
(10:28):
which is what I did. You know, Fortunately I had
a great trainer. He went right back with me to
five pounds, which is like a tenth of what I
had been working on, and built back up you know,
and so I thought in January, so far unstable, even
(10:50):
though the cancer had metastasized it with stage four very
shortly after it was diagnosed. And as I think, I
told you, Nancy, you know, I can't tell people how
to get cancer treated, but I know for me, my
quality of life is the main thing. So I didn't
(11:11):
really want medications that were going to be toxic, and
so I refused them. I refuse chemotherapy and other stuff.
I am taking one tiny hormone blocker pill since my
cancer was hormone receptor positive. And though several times over
(11:34):
the past year, the medical collegist wanted me to go
to stronger medications and I said no, and she was
surprised to see that somehow I stabilized anyway, So that's
where I am. And I said, let me do this
bodybuilding competition as a legacy, because people keep coming and
telling me I'm inspiring them. I feel like I'm just
(11:56):
living my life, but you know, they interrupt training sessions.
Guy's call down the street and I go stuff like that. Still,
I said, let me reach a wider audience because I
want everyone to know that you don't have to stop
doing what you love to do because of a certain
chronological age, or even if you have an injury, you
(12:21):
can work around it, or you have a diagnosis. My
diagnosis means that my liver is swollen and that my
stomach area retains fluid. So you can imagine that that's
not good to show a six stack in a bodybuilding competition.
(12:43):
It's because my stomach is always extended, even though my
ebs are strong. So I had to live with myself.
I had to say, this is what your body is now,
and then you're going to do what you want to do.
And that's basically where I'm at now. You know, I'm
actually probably going to do another competition in the spring.
(13:05):
I'll tell you more about that later after I keep
quiet for a moment time.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I mean, I think, what a journey you've been on,
and I'm really fascinated by the fact that you just
pulled yourself together and went and did this competition, and
you know that that takes a lot of mental strength.
I believe to kind of push through that unknown that
(13:34):
is out there and go do something that you feel
is valuable for your life, even if it's just for
the experience alone.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead, oh no, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
No.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I think that's a critical message that I also try
to get across. It's about the journey. It's about actually
doing something. It's not about if you win or lose.
That's meaningless, especially in competitions where you have judges, because
ninety percent of the time, you know, it's not like oh,
three seconds or four ounce as fall. It's people's opinions,
(14:13):
and even when they have strict criteria, you know, other
factors enter into it. And I always said, you know,
no one is my judge. I'm my own judge of myself.
So I'm doing this for me. And you know, I
think for anyone who does anything that they haven't done
(14:35):
what they want to do, and they start on that path,
you've already you're a winner. You are already winning.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I love that message, and you're I so agree with
you in that, and I've I've really embarked on and
embraced that whenever I'm faced with something that I would
like to do or challenge with, or an adventure like
you know, going somewhere I've never gone maybe by myself
(15:06):
or something. I've really pushed myself to go do those things.
So that I think it's like doctor Jodas Benza, who's
a meditation person that I listen to sometimes. He says
that every time we have a thought, it makes a
connection in our brain, and every time we think that
(15:29):
you know things, thoughts again they make those stronger connections
in your brain. And in order to change your present
situation or your present reality to be better, then you
have to get out there and have new adventures and
(15:49):
new thoughts and create new brain waves that offset the
old patterns that may not have been working for you
in the past. I have found that to be a
little challenging at times, but yet I had a therapist
once I went to when I was getting my divorce,
and she said, you know, you're embarking on new territory
(16:15):
and it can seem really scary. And frequently people will
stay in really bad situations, like an abusive marriage or
something because it's a familiar pattern. Even if it's not pleasant,
people will stay in that because they at least know
what's going to happen. And if you break out of
(16:36):
that pattern and embark on new territory, it's like, Ooh,
I'm heading into the unknown. It comes scary. And she said, Nancy,
you've got to just go out there and push through
that fear and try new things. And so you know,
this is what you've done, and I think it's just,
(16:59):
you know, really great. And you know, I'm turning seventy
this year and so I'm right up there with you.
And I think so many people our age, you know,
they just kind of think, oh, my life is over,
or they go, you know, retire or whatever, and that
means yeah, I think people are happier and live better,
(17:23):
productive lives, joyful lives when they have some kind of
goal or some kind of purpose. And so I love
that you created this unbent getting bent and being someone
who grew up with scoliosis, has been challenged with all
(17:45):
kinds of posture problems throughout you know, I think I
think what you're doing is really fantastic.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Thank you, and I agree with everything you've said. And
you know, one other piece to add on that they
and partly relating to posture. And then I want to
get back to posture again for another moment. When I
did my posture work at workshops, you know, people would say, oh,
I feel uncomfortable. You know, when you first get into
(18:15):
good posture, they think, oh, I'm going to feel great,
but no, you're not going to feel great right away
because it's new, it's different. You have to go through that.
And I say, you feel your fear and then you
go through it, So that's a little different. It's not
saying to deny your fear. It's like, oh my god,
I'm scared, and then okay, what do I do next?
(18:39):
And I think that sometimes facilitates the process for me,
just acknowledging my feeling. And you know, with respect to posture,
the connection between posture and self esteem and how you
present yourself to the world and how other people perceive
you and how you feel. It's it's been shown over
(19:02):
and over in different kinds of research studies that this
is a strong the mind body connection is real and
with posture that the great thing is that when you
change your posture at the same time, you're changing your mood.
So as you're looking more confident, you're actually feeling more confident.
(19:26):
So it's like whistle a happy tune and no one
will know you're afraid. Sometimes you just have to put
on that posture and then let it work its magic,
so that you know if you're feeling a bit down
or you're feeling scared or you're feeling anything other than
like wanting to be here in the moment. By sitting up,
(19:48):
straightening up, whatever you're doing to make yourself feel taller,
to feel more open, to be able to breathe better,
you know that's going to change everything.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. I studied body
mind communication with the Australasian College of Health and Science,
and that whole philosophy in science is that we hold
trauma in every tissue in our body. That used to say,
(20:22):
the issues in your tissue. And when I when I
took this, you know, my my posture wasn't that great.
But I would practice standing up against like the wall
really right and push myself to do it. And I remember,
is she One of the things she taught us is
(20:44):
your feet need to be pointed forward so that you're
going forward in life. If your feet are pointed outwards
or inwards, then you're going to tump over or you're
going to you know, not have the right balance. And
I remember I'd be somewhere and I'd be standing up
straight and I'd have my feet down just pointing right
(21:04):
in the right direction, and I think, oh, my gosh,
I most lock so weird because it feels so different
because it's different from the way I had been standing. Right,
But when I'd look in the mirror sometimes if I
was I've got a department store or something, I would
be straight and my feet would be forward. Yet it
takes a while to kind of adjust your mind to
(21:27):
that feeling comfortable and normal for you. So you do
kind of have to push yourself to correct those things
until that does become your normal. Right.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yes, that's such an important point, you know. It's one
area I think changing behavior where those of us like me,
who I'm a kinesthetic person, so I'm in touch with feelings.
I'm introspective, I'm in touch with my feelings. But I
can be wrong. I can feel like, you know, uncomfortable,
(22:05):
like you just said, I can feel like I look ridiculous,
and then you look in the mirror and say, no,
You've got to do a reality check because the feeling
is not. The feeling of discomfort sometimes overwhelms the reality
of what you're doing right before you start feeling it
(22:28):
and starts becoming as you said, it becomes more I
don't want to use the word normal, but it becomes
more normal for you to feel good in a good
posture or anything that you change. And so there's always
going to you know, you read some women's magazines and
(22:50):
stuff and they you know, oh, get a friend. You
know you feel down, write a letter. Well, if you
could write a letter, get a friend, maybe you wouldn't
feel down. These are very thin polistic, so they want
to gloss over the fact that when you make changes
and do something, you're going to have this discomfort period.
(23:12):
But there's nothing wrong with it. It's part of going
through It's like going through a tunnel and coming at
the other end, because when you come at that other end,
you are changed in all the right good ways.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you know it's interesting. I'm
a member of the National Speakers Association, and so I've
spoken all over the world in different venues. And one
of the things you really realize is that when someone
walks into a room, let's say they walk in and
they're all humped over, they do not they do not
(23:53):
put off a confidence or a joy or and you
can tell that they're feeling they're feeling that. And yet
if you and I know you probably experienced this. But
when I'm going somewhere and I, you know, kind of
refine my posture as I'm getting myself ready. It changes
(24:18):
the way you feel. Yes, you know, like when you
stand up really straight and you feel that confidence, then
that confidence kind of infuses itself into your being this
and into your voice and into you know, whatever it
is you're getting ready to do. And it's kind of
(24:39):
like they, you know, the whole science behind if you smile,
it actually tricks your brain into being more joyful.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Yes, exactly, like the whistle of happy tune. It's all
connected and you find as you go along this path
your own tricks of what makes you, you know, feel
that connection that quickly and with effect for you. So
whether it's saying, oh, I'm I know, you know, my
(25:13):
idol is Peter Pan. I love that open pot. Whenever
you see a picture of Peter Pan, the arms are
stretched out, the legs are stretched out, and he's lying
and you know, that's that's such a great way to
feel when you you know, when you to take your point,
when somebody comes on the stage to speak and they're
(25:35):
looking down or they're hunched over, the message that comes
across to the audience is really, I don't really want
to be here. Somebody who wants to be there and
wants to connect with the audience comes in and exudes
an energy that says, I'm here, I'm open, you know,
(25:56):
I welcome your energy, and I'm going to give you energy.
When you're down and you're closed, none of that happens,
and it doesn't make for a successful talk. It doesn't
make for a successful interaction with the people that you're
talking to.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yes, that's just that's just so true. And I think
this really expands to every part of our lives. You know,
how you show up for your family, how you show
up for your friends when you meet them somewhere, or
you know, whatever it may be. I think, you know,
we we do hold those emotions in our body and
(26:34):
we need to create the reality that we want to
have because I do believe that we do create what
our life is like. And it's through our interactions with others.
It's how we think of ourselves. It's you know, do
we feel worthy of this? And I believe we're all worthy,
(26:57):
that we are born worthy, that the divine has created
us all unique with these all unique special gifts that
are just ours, and we have that connection with the
divine and I think we just in many ways have
to trust that and be that love of God that
(27:19):
we that we can be.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Yeah, and you know it's not as difficult or overwhelming
as it might see when you and I talk about
it and we know or we're talking about and we're
connecting along with connecting with other people who understand and
have lived through this. But for people who haven't tried
yet and who are just kind of on the fence,
are still feeling you know that inertia is what the
(27:47):
word that I came to me when you were talking
about just staying and not taking that risk. And you know,
I want to say, it's just like if you want
to walk a thousands steps, you start by walking ten
steps if you haven't been walking, and in fixing and
improving your posture and improving your energy and your breathing,
(28:10):
it's the same thing. You know that you work in
steps and you can start that way without feeling like
you're going to change. You can't change your whole self,
you know, and one fell swoop anyway, So picking what
you you know, think about a situation where you really
like to come across with a powerful posture and a
(28:34):
powerful energy and start there that one situation, can you
change that? And then it becomes also self fulfilling because
once you go through that discomfort we talked about it
come out of the other end, you feel great because
it's it's resilience and it's self efficacy. You are doing
(28:58):
something for your self, and many times doing something for yourself,
you're also doing it for those around you because people
will see you, they'll start to emulate you. They will
recognize that you may have a different energy, you may
be more open. So these are changes that affect your
(29:21):
interactions with other people as well.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Oh, I think you're so right, and I think you know,
whenever any of us, you know, do something that's challenging
for us, it does inspire others and help them to
be maybe more brave as well. And I want to
really touch on the fact that weightlifting. One of the
(29:48):
things I've realized over the years is that we've come
to sedentary. We do not get the exercise you know
people used to get, and we don't lift things like
you know, maybe people used to do in you know,
previous times. And what I've realized as I've gotten older
(30:09):
and I used to be in a dance company, in London,
and I was very athletic as well Maryland. But as
I got older and I had kids in the family.
I mean, you can lug around kids, that's like lifting
weights right there, but it's not quite the same. And
but for our overall health and well being, weight training
(30:32):
is one of the very best things that any of
us could possibly do, and especially as we get older,
because you know, like getting up from a chair, you know,
keeping your core muscles really strong. One of the ways
I kind of overcame my schooliessis diagnosis was that I
(30:54):
did ballet exercises and I did some weight training. And
it wasn't heavy weights, maybe like what you do, you know,
maybe I did five pounds or eight pounds, or maybe
even just two pounds once in a while. But I
found that I feel so much better, my joints feel better,
(31:14):
and my weight is better when I do some kind
of weight training on a regular basis.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Yes, that is so true. It's not just because I
happen to love it. But you know, resistance training is
recommended in physical activity guidelines for all ages. You can't
just do aerobics. I mean you can, but you're missing
out on a lot of benefits function. I'm big on function,
(31:44):
so I agree with you. I'm I order my food online.
I don't go into store shopping, partly because I'm lustrophobic.
I don't like to be in these big stores. But
you know, I still have to carry things. You have
to can't lift things, move furniture. Maybe whatever it is
you need to do, you're going to do it better
(32:09):
when you've already are a bit stronger from doing weight training,
and of course doing it in the right with the
right posture, and so you don't injure yourself. But that's
another important thing. Weight training really prevents injuries when you
work it up correctly, slowly. People are afraid, oh, I'm
(32:31):
going to hurt myself. Well, you know, no, not because
of weight training. I'm not saying that people can't hurt themselves,
but it's not specific to weight training. That's just knowing
how to move properly and being patient and you know,
doing what starting off at a safe pace and moving forward.
(32:55):
So again, as you said, Nancy, a couple of pounds
or five pounds whatever. I wrote a song. This is
something I didn't say when I was going through the
story of my life, but during the pandemic. Before the diagnosis,
I got on an online open mic as a medical expert,
(33:17):
and people were a long time in the musicians playing
songs with each other. What's the open mic is? And
I said, oh, I want to do that. I had
taken guitar lists when I was ten, and long story short,
I ordered a guitar online. I started to play and
then I wrote a song and I recorded it. It's
(33:39):
on Spotify and all that other stuff. I didn't go
further with the music, but the song, the point of
it is. The song is called just do It because
this is where I come from, and it's all about that.
It's about feeling uptight and just doing something. It's about
feeling like you want to rebel and not do what
they tell you to do it. Sometimes that's correct, Well,
(34:02):
sometimes you just have to do it. So I think,
you know, that is the energy that I feel like
we share, Nancy, that it's so important to do these
things and do something and not sit on the sidelines.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. I don't know
why that makes me think of I was I was
going to go to see and I was going to
have to see my ex husband at something I was
going to and I was feeling a little bit trapid,
a little trepidation there, and I went and signed up
(34:40):
for trapeze lessons, and I'm afraid of heights. I take
this two hour trapeze lesson pushed through my fear. I
have to admit it was terrifying when the guy told
me to let go and grab on to the Trappees
(35:01):
way up there in the sky. You forget you've gotta
strap around your waist.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I actually went to the Trappee school here in New York.
I ended up doing a whole day. I said, no
I can. I couldn't because I'm also afraid of mis
I get. I couldn't swing, So you got one pumping there.
But also I did the mock you know, the rock
climbing classes that they have. That was enough when you're
(35:30):
I'm small on like five two, and my limbs are short,
so most machines and setups in the gym like this
rock climbing are made for people that are like five seven,
so the real stretch to climb up and go up
and like. But you know again, I think even if
(35:52):
we both I don't know how you felt. I felt
like I didn't really want to keep doing it again
and again and again. I'm glad I did it.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Well, you know, it's it's my theory is I pushed
myself to something that I was, you know, actually terrified
of doing it, and then I did it, and then
I felt so good, Right, so I could go show
up and be confident and feel good about you know,
(36:21):
who I was.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Or Yeah, every time you do something that you're afraid
to do, you gain confidence. There's no way not to.
And that's why I say it's not about winning or
losing or where you end up on the track, or
if you do something you know ten times or one
time you do it the way you want to do it,
(36:44):
but you just do it, and that alone is so empowering.
And this is a time of life, particularly getting older,
you want to feel empowered. You know. There's a lot
of people out there within and just stereotypes. And I
felt it when I very occasionally when I went to
Broadway Dance Center and I'm standing outside the class waiting
(37:06):
to go in, I could sense and see, you know
a few people like looking at me like what she
doing here? Or or if I you know, I stand
near the front usually because I can't see, but also
because I do have to know what I'm doing and
be like, oh, you know, what's she doing there? And
then boom they see that I know what I'm doing.
(37:28):
Oh and I never see that look again. But there
are those looks, and you know I don't live by them.
I live. I'm wanting to say, just wait and see
and you will change your perceptions. That people have come
up to me and told me that as well. But
I have to admit I do get a little kick
(37:49):
out of that. You know, when people that I know
are just stereotyping have to revise their stereotypes. So the
other is the very importan. I reminded myself that there's
a study Beca Levi has done several studies in this
area showing that self stereotyping where we become older and
(38:13):
then we start giving ourselves these same horrible messages that
people you know, with all the stereotypes, you can actually
it shortens life by seven years. That people who self
stereotype did not live as long one and I'm sure
they didn't have a great quality of life. So we
(38:33):
want to reverse all of that and make a new script,
not a stereotype and say you know, yes, this is
what it's like to be seventy seventy five, have a
cancer diagnosis, you know, not have it. It's this is it.
This is where we're pioneers in that sense, and let's
(38:55):
keep doing that everyone, everyone who's listening, and everyone who.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Will I bravo, Yes, I probably agree. In fact, you know,
there are so many stereotypes about older people. And you know,
I've had so many friends say, oh, Nancy, why don't
you get a face lift, or why don't you get
this thing done? Or why don't you color your hair?
(39:23):
Or you know, your hair so long, why don't you
cut it off? And there are a lot of older
people that really conform to those kind of preconceived notions
about what you should do when you're you know, getting older.
And I love having long hair and I'm going to
keep it and I'm not going to diet, and I'm
(39:44):
not going to get a face left, and I'm going
to enjoy being who I am and my real self
and not having any kind of a I don't know,
artificially done thing to me that just doesn't go with
who I am or what I want my life to be.
(40:07):
And so it's you know, I think it's finding comfort
in who you are and where you are in your life.
And I think part of that is staying in shape.
Keeping your posture good, I think is an enormous part
of that, and keeping your muscles strong. As I watch
older people basically kind of waste away, they they just
(40:30):
kind of give up and they you know, go play
magong all the time. But you know, it's it's not
that mosang is bad. That keeps your mind active in
you're with friends. But I'm saying, you know, add a
few things to that that you know, walking Like my
friend and I we started walking before dawn in the mornings.
(40:53):
And I know Linda Gray, the actress who is in Dallas,
She's gets up and she walks like a mile every
morning at like six thirty and sometimes two miles, and
she's turning eighty four in a couple of weeks. And
you know, she's such an inspiration as well. And you know,
(41:16):
part part of it is your mindset. And I think
this is where you're so fabulous, Marylyn, is that you
are motivating and inspiring people to set their mind on
the on you know, creating their new reality for who
they are at you know, whatever age they're there being
(41:39):
their experience in at the time.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Well and full disclosure, and I'm not really sorry to
say it, but I do have to think. I do
color my hair. I've been coloring my hair since I'm
in my forties. When the boyfriend I had at the
time said why do you dye your hair black? I said,
I don't dye my hair black or anything. This isn't
(42:03):
my hair. And then people started talking about having red
highlights because you know, I have that kind of complexion
for it, and I liked it, and then you know,
I just went into it. There was no there's nothing
about the fact that I color my hair, and I
do it myself. Now through the pandemic, I found these
(42:25):
different semi mathnetic panic colors that I just mixed together.
But this is an expression of me. So this is
part of this has nothing to do with my trying
to look younger. I never even thought of it that
way until people's until I have a friend of mine,
I said, oh, I'm letting myself go gray. I said, fine,
you know, so why and like, why don't you? I said,
(42:47):
this hair is part of my definition. You know, I
don't even wear hats anymore. And I look good in
hats because this is part of who I am. So
I just I just want to put that out there,
that out my you know, going against aging was nothing
to do with it, but I do own, you know,
that part of my persona. So I just want to
(43:09):
also say that it's okay to do some things if
you know why you're doing it. I've never done anything
for an effect. Okay, I've never worked out because I
have to lose x ounce, or I do it because
it feels great to me while I'm doing it at
the moment, or I'm like the color I'm living with it,
(43:32):
and that If that's why you're doing something, then I
think it's okay. I think it's for your own self
feeling better for whatever reason about yourself. But I do
agree that you should. I wouldn't say nobody's ever told
me I should get a facelift. In fact, when I've
asked people, do you think they should get a face face?
(43:54):
Say no, you know, so you know I haven't a
few times I've said that, well you know, it depends
on the person.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Well, you are so right, and those are really great
valid points, and I have nothing against it. If people
do any of those things. It's just a personal choice
for me. And you know, it's just I've never been
that been that direction. But I came from an area
(44:25):
in Dallas that was very much all about the what
you look like, right, it was very much what clothes
you wore, you know, what jewelry you had on or whatever.
And I've just kind of, uh not been that kind
of person ever in my life, and so I tend
(44:47):
to go to the opposite direction. But I have absolutely
deahing against any of people, you know, doing any of
those things. If that is what you personally want inside
your heart art and it's not somebody pushing it onto
you as a you know, oh you're this age, you
need to.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Do all horrible word anti aging. I hate that word
anti aging. Tough everybody ages. Like I said, I don't
think any of us should do anything because somebody else
says we should do it. I mean, I'm a long
time it was like a hippie and I will rebelled
against everything, and I, you know, to whatever I wanted.
(45:31):
I grew up mainly in New York and I traveled around,
so it was a different maybe atmosphere, but I felt
comfortable rebelling my whole life. So this is just just
an extension of that. It's rebelling unfortunately now because of
the stereotypes and because of the pressure that society in
(45:54):
various ways puts on people. But we could say, no,
we don't even have to fight back. I don't even
consider it rebelling anymore. I just consider it, you know,
turning it off and saying, you know, I can't be
bothered with this, it's meaningless me.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
No, I agree. And I think we both grew up
in the era where the magazines and things started putting
out a lot of you know, touched up photographs that
nobody could look really like, and it it put a
big strain on especially like young girls, teenage girls that
(46:32):
you know, felt like, you know, maybe they weren't good
enough or something. But I think in many ways most
people have come around to realize that, you know, you
can't be you know this, this touched up photo, because
that's not real. And of course now we've got the
AI challenge, and I haven't only knows what that's going
(46:54):
to look like.
Speaker 3 (46:57):
Yes, yes, I try to.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
But Mayor and we are getting towards the end of
the show, we have about three four minutes left, and
I would love for you to just I want to
tell you, first of all, I'm so thankful for you
joining me today and I'm just honored, and I just
want to thank you so much for being here and
sharing your wonderful ideas with everyone. And I would love
(47:24):
for you to share with our listeners a few key
points that you think are important for your posture or
for your health that they could do maybe at home
without spending any money. And then maybe just a parting
thought for our listeners before we have to sign off,
if there's any events coming up for you that you
(47:47):
may want to share with everyone, please do well.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
Thank you, Nancy. I love this and if time has
rushed on and I appreciate again the opportunity, it's been great.
And I'll just say that I don't, you know, events
kind of come up out of nowhere sometimes so that
I know I'm going to be doing I believe, another
natural bodybuilding competition in the spring. But people can stay
(48:15):
you know, in touch with me and look at what
events are coming up by going to my website which
is up there www dot get on vent dot com.
And in terms of posture and get unbent by the way,
it means unbending your body, also unbending your mind and
spirit opening up on all levels. So I don't know
(48:40):
how much time flip. But for posture tips, I think
when you're sitting there's a great trip trick, which is
certainly feel like somebody's pouring on glass. If I swater
down your back, what happens you sit up straight. You
may be able to only hold it for a second.
(49:00):
But each time you do that, if you remind yourself,
you'll be getting into the habit of sitting up straighter
than you were. That's one but the other thing about posture,
and you'll see I have a posture challenge on the
website and there will be more of it. Accept where
you're starting from. Look in the mirror, accept your body,
(49:24):
and say this is me, what do I want to change?
And then we'll take a step by step approach. That's
the biggest message. Nobody has to remake themselves all at once,
or even at all. But you can improve your posture
at any point in life.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
I love that. That's a beautiful thing to think about it.
I sat right straight up straight when I had the
water go down my back.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
I feel it too.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
I do it to myself, so thank you so much
for joining me. Those are wonderful, wonderful inspirational tips for
all of us to use. And remember that when when
you do weight training, your metabolism speeds up for like
thirty six hours after you do it. So anybody wants
(50:19):
to get in shape, you know, weight training is a
great thing to do, and go to her website, get
on you in bent b E n T dot com
and look at her information. It's wonderful and I just
don't think you can go wrong.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Thanks so much, Nancy and everybody for listening.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Thank you, and for everyone out there listening. Marilyn and
I send you. We wish you great health and great
peace in your life. Yeah, and I will talk to
you all next week.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
In intimating to
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