Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast for a thriving business and life.
And we are live Thursdays at five pm Eastern on
talkfortv dot com, W four WN dot com, and my
(01:13):
YouTube channel, and you can also hear the podcasts on Iheartspotify, Pandora,
Apple and then Anymore. So today we are going to
be continuing to talk about cultivating that inner resilience. When
you have resilience, you can get through any challenges, you
(01:39):
can navigate any challenges, and it's really important to cultivate
and learn how to build emotional and spiritual resilience, how
to meet life's challenges with grace, clarity, and courage, explore
(01:59):
tools to shift from here to day, and learn how
to tap into the strength of your soul. And we're
definitely going to be diving deeper into that today. And
this show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
(02:21):
It is for educational purposes only. I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch,
licensed clinical social worker, certified hypno therapist, and intuitive business expert.
I could bind my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to
transform your life. So are you ready to live and
(02:44):
inspire an empowered life and have an inspired and empowered business? Well, definitely,
you want to be cultivating that resilience. So I just
wanted to make sure that I have some people who
usually ask questions, and I wanted to make sure that
their questions have been answered and they heard them. So
(03:08):
I'm going to do a recap, a quick recap. So
if Charles had asked about if you pretend to be
calm or numb, is it healthy or not healthy? And
is there anything wrong? And what I want to let
you know is that overall, in the long run, you
(03:32):
want to heal that because when you pretend everything, this
is about coming back into your authentic self. And we
can talk about that and have talked about that on
other shows, but it's about being authentic within yourself. And yes,
there is a time about shock where I talked about
(03:53):
that shock is a not like is a survival mechanism.
In order to navigate prices, seeds, and that energy is
meant to be temporary, because it's meant to be something
that supports you in the crisis if you need it.
(04:16):
And this is all unconscious, this has gone from your
subconscious mind. And then you want to be able to
work through the feelings and misty, and I see misty
as a question. I just want to make sure. Last
time she asked, how does shock? How long can a
person be in the shock state? Okay, I'll answer that
(04:38):
in a sec And the answer is you could be
in the shock state for years, to be in the
shock state for the rest of your life. So that's
why it's important to have that state of awareness which
I talk about often, and being able to have that
so that you can move through and come out of
(05:00):
the shock or come out of numbness, so that you
can allow yourself to feel. And when you feel, you heal.
You want to feel the feelings of the fear, the anger,
all the things that you may not want to feel,
but feeling is healing, and then you want to move
(05:21):
through it into the state of soul. And the state
of your soul is that state of love. It is
the state of resilience, true resilience, that is the state
of being able to really connect more deeply and be
(05:41):
your soul. And that's what we're going to talk more
about because that's what resilience is. That deepest place of
resilience is that connection to soul. So stay tuned. First,
I'm going to answer the questions that just came in.
Misty asked. But everyone processes things in their own way. Yes,
(06:05):
everyone does process things in their own way, and that
is true, and it's really important for you to be
okay with your process and be in the journey of
your process. But when you're in this state of awareness
or when you're ready, so sometimes what happens is that
(06:28):
things in circumstances happen where they will wake you up.
Like when I did my holistic psychotherapy practice, very often
people would end up coming to me when something happened
and they had to change their back literally was up
against a wall. Maybe they lost their job, or they
(06:49):
were having a health crisis, or even they were having
trouble dealing with their life because of anxiety or depression
what I call post traumatic stress disorder. So they would
come to me in order to heal. Now, as I
do the coaching. What I'm doing is I may release energy,
(07:09):
but it's about future. It's about how can we move
you to the future of the business that you want,
the life that you want, and it's all connected. I
talk a lot about on the show about your life
because you can't separate you and your business from your life.
It's all connected. So so yes, Misty, everybody processes in
(07:32):
their own way, and what I'm supporting is that when
you are in the process and you start noticing, let's
say you start noticing that, oh I'm shut down, or
maybe I'm in shock or i feel numb, that's something
to take notice of so that you can then work
(07:53):
to move through it and get back to the state
of feeling and ultimate that Ley, you want to go
to the state of soul, that state of peace, love,
joy and prosperity and all the soul qualities of freedom
and health and love and joy. There's so many different
(08:17):
soul energies that want to come through you, and it's
about connecting with that and connecting with your soul. So
we'll be talking about that very shortly. Charles's question is
how do you know if someone is feeling so you
(08:38):
don't necessarily know. Well, there's two ways to answer that,
if you're what I call an EmPATH, and an EmPATH
actually feels other people's feelings. And also in as you
become more emotionally intelligent, and remember we did all these
shows on emotional intelligence, part of that emotional intelliggens is
(09:01):
kind of learning about what other people are feeling. Now,
if you're not sure that someone is really feeling something
or not, you can ask them and hopefully they will
tell you the truth. They may not even realize that
they're not feeling. They may not even realize that they're
shut down. Sometimes someone doesn't even realize it if they're
(09:23):
really numb and they've shut down. They may not even
realize that they are numb or shut down. But if
you ask them the question and they're open to exploring
and saying, you know what, I'm not sure or maybe
I am, maybe I need help in feeling my feelings,
that's another way that you would go to counseling or
(09:45):
therapy or coaching and help in moving through so that
you can get to feeling. If you've been numb, and
so if you're an EmPATH, you may feel it. If
you're not sure, then you can ask the question. But
here's the thing. It's hopefully they're asking from their answering
(10:07):
the question, from their truth that you have a relationship
where they feel safe enough to either explore with you.
I'm not sure, or they feel safe enough like I
don't know, or maybe I'm not or now if they're
really shut down and they're protecting themselves because they do
not feel safe, I am going to say they may
(10:29):
lie pretend because I remember you asked about the pretending,
and if somebody is pretending and they're lying, they may
be lying to themselves too and may not even realize it.
So it's about helping. And here's the thing. It's not
your responsibility to help someone else, okay, but asking questions
(10:52):
or supporting them to get support or help that they
may need or possibility. So hopefully that answers your question
and Charles and your question, Misty, I see we have
two more questions coming in. I'll answer those questions and
then well we will continue to explore out to go
(11:12):
from here to faith. So Mickey asks, nothing wrong with
not feeling right? So how do I say this? Okay,
it's not that if you are in a state where
you have shut down and are numb and are not feeling,
(11:34):
and you're not feeling anything nothing, something is there that
needs to be explored. Let's put it that way. It's
not that it's wrong, it's there's something that's there that's
shutting you down from feeling. If you're not feeling anything,
(11:55):
then you may want to understand what's going on for
me that I'm not feeling. So it's not wrong. It's
about asking yourself those questions to explore to see if
you can move. Because He is a thing is you
as human beings, were meant to feel. It's one of
the things that God gave us for the universe or
(12:18):
whatever you want to call it. God gave us feelings
to navigate to understand, and sometimes it's not always easy
when you're going through rough patch and you're feeling maybe
things you don't want to feel. But that's why sometimes
you need support. Look, I know that I couldn't get
through those rough times when I had to deal with
(12:40):
my trauma or I had to deal with grief. I
needed that help. I had. I call it my village.
I had a team of people that I went to.
I've had I have therapists, coaches, healers, acupuncturists, chiropractors. I
mean I have a village. I really think that we
(13:03):
need a village of people to support us in our life.
And you know, I know clients that go to support groups.
So I just really want to support you and getting
the support you need to move through. If you or
someone you know is not feeling, it's there's something going on.
(13:24):
It's about asking the questions and becoming aware, well, you
know what's going on for me and how do I
get to feeling? And one of the ways is it's
about learning how to feel safe to feel. So very
often we go numb or shut down in shop because
there's so many feelings coming up, or we can't process
(13:48):
all the feelings at one time. It's possible, so you
may shut down. That's again the protective that's the shock
protective shut down. But if you're in that state and
you're moving through your life and you're numb, I really
want to support you. I really want to support you
(14:09):
to reach out for support so that you can feel again.
Sometimes it doesn't mean that you're going to go through
all the positive feelings. You may go through some hard ones.
That's why you mean That's why we need support, is
so that you know that you have you have people
or groups to support you through the journey. We need
(14:30):
support through the journey. So hopefully that helps. And Anastasia says,
not feeling is still feeling. You would think, so not
feeling is numb. The only time, okay, and I'm going
to this is because we're moving into soul. The only
(14:53):
time not feeling is healthy is when you are in
the higher aspects of self and you're in neutrality and
you're being neutral. You're like Switzerland and you're being neutral
and you're navigating, so you're in that neutral space. And
(15:21):
neutrality may be like let's say, if you're a coach
or a healer and you want to be in that
space of alignment, you may be in that not feeling
neutral space. But when you're living your life, I really
feel what you're moving towards, what you really want to
(15:42):
feel are the emotions the feelings of soul, your soul.
All everybody has a soul from my perspective, okay, and
your soul is the core energy, essence of who you are.
And but what happened and I've used this description before,
(16:03):
but I want to use it again. So if you
can imagine that your soul and all of you, you
all have the soul, and you're light the sun, and
you're this bright light wanting to shine and radiate your
light out. And I want to tell you that when
you're in resilience and you're in your soul and you're
(16:25):
radiating your light and your love, you become a lighthouse
for those who are really in the darkness. So, no,
this is important info. If you're listening to the show,
on some level, you're being guided to know that you're
a lighthouse and your light wants to come through, your
(16:47):
soul wants to shine forth, and that you make a
difference in other people's lives by being who you are.
And the more connected to your soul, the more connected
to your light, and the more you radiate that and
people feel you. So, so what how do you go
(17:12):
from fear? And it may be fear, it may be anger,
it may be frustration or or any other feeling. How
do you go from fear to faith? You do that?
So I'm going to give you a process to begin.
Now faith, okay, now again, alignment is resilience, and being
(17:38):
in alignment is being able to adapt to move through
changes easily with faith and courage and grace, which are
the qualities of your soul. And as you do that,
you are coming closer to the light that you are,
the truth that you are, the authentic think you that
(18:01):
you are, and so being able to go from that
fear and fear. Okay, when you're in the fear space,
you've shut down because when you're numb and you're not feeling,
that is actually underneath. Underneath that numbness is something other
(18:24):
emotions that are not being felt. Okay, so that may
be fear. There may be a lot of fear because
what happens is you may go into have you ever
heard of the you shut down. I've talked about this,
that state where you freeze and you're frozen, and that
(18:47):
energy of freeze is really the energy so in the
stress reaction when you're stressed, and it's part of and
I've talked about this before, when you're stressed out, you
can go into fight flight freeze and that's the shutdown,
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which also is fear and fear. What happens is you
are reacting and this is instinctive. Everybody has this. This
has been a survival mechanism from the beginning of humanity
and all the animal kingdom to survive when the tiger
(19:29):
came at you in those cave man days, you had
to make sure that you were going to survive. So
you could fight, You could fight, flee, or you could freeze. Now,
if you froze, you probably be gone. But that's why
I fight. In flight were the first first emotions or
(19:51):
the first reactions from the stress reaction. And then what
they started realizing is they've added two more. They added freeze,
and they've added of faun and faun is people pleasing
and freeze is that shut down state. But underneath this
is all the fear reaction. So and what happens with
(20:12):
the fear reaction is often fear is rooted in the
illusion of control. And you want to control yourself, your life,
your circumstances, you want to control other people. And the
truth is that we don't have control, especially in these
(20:36):
uncertain times. We don't have control. The only thing that
we have choice, because this is where it is is
you empower yourself by making a choice, a decision from
a very conscious state. How do I choose a be?
(21:00):
How do I choose to be? And when you're doing
true resilience and you're coming from place of soul. There's
a place of surrender, surrender, and when you're in faith,
faith feels spacious, faith feels, it feels it's that place
(21:21):
of hope that you go from hope to this faith
that I am trusting, this is happening. I am trusting
that higher those higher parts of me. I am trusting
that higher power or that higher energy, whether you call
it higher power or God or universe. The light and
(21:45):
faith is grounded and it's you're in that alignment and
that's where you want to come to. That's where resilience is,
and it's learning to come to this place of surrender,
a place and what is surrender, What is really surrender
and surrender is it doesn't mean giving up, doesn't mean
(22:07):
giving up. Like I know you some of you may think, surrender,
Oh the white flag, I just give up. That's not
what I'm talking about. That's not what I'm talking about.
Surrender is it's it's giving over. It's it's giving over
yourself or your life or your challenges to something greater
(22:33):
than yourself. I see I will get to Anastasia's and
it's it's giving over to something greater than yourself, and
trusting that you will receive the answer. I'm going to
give you an example of this short in a second. Okay, well,
let me give this give you the example, because I'm
(22:56):
afraid I'll forget, so I don't want to forget, and
then I'll land Anastasia's question. So over the last week
or two, I'm even getting I was in a place
where questioning. I was questioning everything. I was really like,
I don't know. I don't know how to move forward.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what's next.
(23:16):
And it's not that I don't have my business and
my clients and the structure the way that it is,
but I was in a place of questioning everything. And
I also want to want you to know that when
you're in a transition point, it's okay to question. It's
okay to search and to look and to try to
(23:38):
know or surrender to what's next. And so what happened
was I was in a place where I realized that
I could the more I tried, and I was like,
I want the answers, and the more I was this
is the control, right. I wanted the answers. I want
(24:00):
to get it. I'm an intuitive I should know this,
but I couldn't feel it. I was like really struggling
with it. And because I want you to know, I'm
human too, I go through the same stuff you do.
And so I was really trying, you know, working on
figuring out what's next, what am I supposed to do?
(24:21):
Where do I go? How do I move through this?
And I knew that I couldn't push my way through it.
I couldn't. Like the more I try to hold on
or control or try to figure it out, the more
it would be elusive to me. And I knew the
only way through it was I had to keep surrendering it,
(24:44):
handing it over, handing it over to my soul, handing
it over to God, to the universe, handing it over
and asking help me move through this. And over the
last few days, I've had support to move through it,
did processes with friends that helped me move through it.
(25:05):
And that's why sometimes you can't always do it alone.
Or if you do it alone, you can do it.
It may take longer, but if you get support, you
can move through it more quickly. Just let you know that.
So I got support that I needed, and today actually
was one of the first days that I felt like
clarity and I got those answers. But I had to
(25:28):
surrender it. I had to hand it over. I didn't
give up, but I gave it over. I gave it
over to the higher aspects of myself. So I'm hoping
that I'm making this clear for you, and if I'm not,
please ask questions, because it's an important point, because I
really believe resilience comes from your soul. It comes from
(25:49):
that deepest part of you that wants to come through
and be in that alignment so that you're expressing that
those higher aspects of health, and that includes your higher self,
which is your higher self, is that wise, unconditionally loving
part of you, so high yourself and soul are there
(26:12):
for the asking. They're there for you, as well as
the universe and your guides and angels and beings of light.
I want you to know you have a spiritual support
system that's there to help you. And it doesn't mean
you're not going to go through feelings, because listen, I
went through a lot of feelings. Why, But know that
(26:33):
when you allow yourself and allow yourself to move through it,
you can get to the other side, which is really
a clarity or a bridge to what's next, or to
just know what's the next step. Sometimes it's knowing what's
the next step. So, Anastasia, what's question. Do we choose conscious?
(26:56):
Do we choose conscious or or subconscious or is that involuntary? Okay?
So your conscious mind is the part of you that chooses.
It empowers you. It is your empowering self. And when
you're making a decision from that conscious place, you're empowering
(27:20):
yourself to make a conscious choice. Your subconscious mind, from
the moment you were born, or actually the moment you're
conceived to present time, everything is recorded, every moment recorded
in your consciousness even before but that's another story. And
(27:40):
everything is there in your subconscious mind. When you are reacting,
when you are in that place of trying to control
or you're in the reaction, you're not you're not coming
from conscious choice. You're coming from your subconscious and conscious
is reactive and involuntary. So you do not choose subconscious reactions.
(28:06):
They just happen. It's you have that reaction, you get triggered.
It can happen all the time, It can happen a
lot of the time, and getting to consciousness and super
conscious which is conscious choice, is coming into that place
where you make a decision to move through things, move
(28:28):
through feelings so that you can move and feel more
empowered to make the healthy decision. So you're choosing to
go from reaction to responding and being making a healthy decision.
So when you're reacting or subconscious is involuntary. Super conscious
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mind is the your higher self, your soul, the universe.
And when you're in the place of resilience, true resilience,
you're coming from conscious mind and super conscious mind. Your
higher self and soul and your conscious self are in alignment,
(29:14):
and your sub conscious mind too is quieted down and
is working with you. There's an alignment body, mine, emotion, spirit.
When you're in that alignment, that's when you're in that
true resilience. So hopefully that was helpful. So here's a technique,
(29:35):
and I'm going to Before I get to the technique,
I am going to share with you my meditation which
is also a PDF, so you can download it whether
you can download it as a meditation or a PDF
to help you gain to calm yourself down, to clear
(29:57):
your energy, to connect with your high yourself and make decisions.
So you want to go to inspired and empowered living
dot com forward slash meditation, Inspired and empoweredliving dot com
(30:18):
forward slash meditation. Okay, so inspired and empowered living dot
com forward slash meditation, and it's the name of the
show and forwards dot com forward slash and then meditation
the word. So definitely want to grab that to keep
(30:40):
moving you forward. That can really help you. So let's
talk about what you can do a three step process
to help you navigate from fear to faith, from fear
and all the other emotions one of the ways to
get to a place of more regulation nervous system and
(31:02):
resilient to resilience. Okay, so first of all, what you
want to do is fear lives in your body and
when you're feeling the fear, this includes when you're shut down,
something else is going on fear, this fear probably fear.
So you want to come into present time. And the
(31:26):
way that you could do that is you want to
close your eyes. Obviously, if you're driving, please do not
do this, or if you're operating machinery, I mean you
do this when you have when you're in a space
where you can be alone or give yourself the time
to quiet down. Okay. So you want to close your
(31:50):
eyes and you're going to take three deep breaths. They
could be belly breaths. They could be the box bread
four four four breathing in for four, holding for four,
letting go for four, breathing another four, and then starting
over again. So eight four four four box breathing. So
(32:12):
it's breathing in for four counter of four, holding for
the counter four, letting go, taking a deep breath out
for the counter four, and then count in a four
before you take another breath in. So it's a box
that's four four four breathing. So you do that, you
do the belly breath, put a hand on your belly,
(32:33):
guy a fram you take a breath in, your belly
goes out. On the outbreath, your belly goes in. And
you can do that three times, or you could do
the four seven eight breathing. Three different breathing techniques I'm
giving you, Hopefully I'm not confusing you, and that is
(32:54):
you want to breathe in for four, counter four, hold
for seven, and then release on it for eight an
out account of eight, So four seven eight, okay, yes, okay,
Anastasia asked the question, Anastasia, can you do the breathing
with eyes open if you're doing something you have to see? Okay,
(33:16):
So if you're doing something that you need to see again,
if you're driving or doing something like operating machinery, trusting
all of them, you will do it in appropriate time.
But if you're feeling let's say anxious, you're at work,
or you're looking at a computer, yes, you can do
(33:39):
the breathing with your eyes open and breathe with those
three breaths. Okay, start with the three breaths. So yes,
you can do it with eyes open too, all right,
And I also invite you to try it with your
eyes open and your eyes closed and see which one
feels better. Sometimes when you're able to, if you're in
(34:03):
a place where you can and you can close your eyes,
like at home, you may find that that feels really
good too. And I remember, I want you practicing all
these coping skills because the more you practice, that's when
you can use them anytime you need to. That all
builds resilience. And then you want to ask. You want
(34:23):
to reframe the moment. So if something's going on and
you're feeling anxious or fearful, or something happened maybe at
work or in your life, in your relationship, whatever, and
you're getting upset, you want to ask the question, what
is this moment teaching? Or if you want to go
(34:46):
deeper into soul, what is the sole lesson here? What
is the soul lesson? And then when you do that,
it brings you out of victim and into Okay, what
am I learning? This is a learning opportunity. Whatever's happening
is a learning opportunity for you. Nothing is ever wasted.
(35:10):
There's always life is full of learning opportunity. And you know,
I'll go back to me and this what happened? So
what was my learning opportunity from this experience? Is that
I newm into And even though I'm like, I'm so
in tune with my intuition and it keeps getting better
(35:32):
and better, that there's going to be times when I'm
in a transition space that when it's to me, I
feel like when you're shifting from one level to another,
when you're or when something new wants to come through,
or you need to change direction a little bit, you
(35:52):
may go into that space of questioning and transition and
needing to surrender and it's okay to know that it's
okay to it's learning how to be okay in the uncertainty.
Resilience is learning how to be okay in uncertainty. And
the way that I made it okay through this time
(36:14):
Parod was I surrendered. I handed it over and I surrendered, Misty.
Misty says, instead of seeing something as a failure, see
it as a learning opportunity. Exactly exactly. It is a
learning opportunity. Yes, Misty, thank you. It is a learning
opportunity and we all have them. And I want to
(36:37):
support all of you to know that every moment are
learning opportunities for you, and every learning opportunity. When you
reframe it, you move and you go into more resilience. Remember,
resilience is not never having feelings or having adversity or stress.
(36:59):
Resili is being able to move through it and come
out the other side so that you're feeling more courage
or you're feeling more grace or faith. And that's what
happened for me or claarity. So I want you to
know it's a journey, it's a process, not a destination.
(37:19):
We have this life on the planet and we're always
in a journey. But the more that we can move
through it with resilience, the better it is. And then
the third part is to be able to move and
ask yourself, what's my why? What is it that I'm
(37:41):
here to do? What? How am I supposed to make
a difference? Now, if you're not sure, what I want
you to go back to is by you listening to
the show, by you learning new things, new skills, new possibilities,
by you shine your light, whether you have your own
(38:03):
business or you want your own business, or you want
a better life, you want to inspired an empowered life.
On every level, you listening, you're viewing the show makes
a difference, and you shining your light and sharing your
love makes a difference. And so that is a why,
(38:24):
your big why if you're not sure, and if you
want to ask the questions, why am I really here?
What am I here to do? Or how am I
to serve? And how do I choose the energy? What
energy do I choose? What energy do I choose to
(38:45):
embody the leader, the healer that I am. I invite
you to ask those questions, know that all of you
have the answers within. It's about tuning into your soul
into your inner wisdom, taking time for yourself to do that.
I invite you to and know that every one of you.
(39:09):
Remember we talked about resilience, and resilience is not feeling
your feelings, it's moving through the feeling. It's being able
to get back into that aligned state. Resilience is shining
your soul's light and sharing your love and being aligned
(39:30):
with your conscious, subconscious and super conscious mind, your body, mind, emotion, spirit.
When you're in alignment resilience and you want to back
to feeling that grounded, empowered feeling so that you are
coming from conscious choice, empowering yourself and empowering others as
(39:57):
you do. And so thank you for joining and we
are going to continue more inspired and empowered living. And
next week we're going into a new topic about behaviors
and changing your behaviors and those sabotaging behaviors. So join
(40:19):
me next Thursday at five pm Eastern on TALKFORTV dot com,
W four WN dot com, my YouTube channel, and you
can hear us on iHeartRadio, Spotify, the Dora, Apple, Amazon,
and many more. And I wish you all, Thank you
(40:41):
to Anastasia, thank you, and I wish you all and
inspired and empowered day week and week or night. Okay,
have a great one. Everybody buy for nowt stetts TESTINGSTO
(41:24):
testingst