August 7, 2025 • 35 mins
When life feels unpredictable and the world feels overwhelming, how do you stay grounded, empowered, and aligned with your purpose?
In this episode we dive into “Cultivating Inner Resilience in Uncertain Times”. Discover how to build emotional and spiritual resilience so you can meet life’s challenges with grace, clarity, and courage.
We’ll explore tools to shift from fear to faith, release overwhelm, and reconnect to the strength of your soul.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
In this episode we dive into “Cultivating Inner Resilience in Uncertain Times”. Discover how to build emotional and spiritual resilience so you can meet life’s challenges with grace, clarity, and courage.
We’ll explore tools to shift from fear to faith, release overwhelm, and reconnect to the strength of your soul.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show for a thriving life and business. And we
are live on Thursdays at five pm Eastern on talk
for TV dot com, W FOURWN dot com and my
YouTube channel. And today's show, we are going to be
(01:16):
talking about cultivating your inner resilience in uncertain times are
two and this is a really important show because in
our world, life can feel very unpredictable, and you may
(01:38):
feel things are hectic or crazy in your personal life,
and then there's the world. How do you stay grounded,
how do you stay centered? How do you stay aligned
and empowered with your purpose? We're going to explore that
more today and learn how to build your emotional and
(02:01):
spiritual resilience meeting life's challenges with grace, clarity, and courage
and expose, expose, expose and explore, like we're going to
uncover and expose the things that you may not have
(02:22):
realized about how you may or may not be resilient,
and we're going to explore and expose more of that
and learn how to shift from fear to faith, release
your overwhelm, and reconnect to the strength of your soul. Together,
(02:45):
let's create a life you love. I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch,
licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and intuitive business expert,
combining my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to transform your life.
And the show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
(03:05):
It is for educational purposes only. So let's talk a
little bit about again what really is resilience and what
is in a resilience. In a resilience is your ability
to stay calm, emotionally centered, mentally clear, and spiritually connected
(03:30):
even in these uncertain times when life throws you curveballs
and you are not sure what's going to happen from
moment to moment, day to day. But learning in a
resilience can help you to navigate those challenges with ease
(03:55):
and grace and being able to feel more canted, helping
you to be able to feel connected, to feel empowered,
to feel inspired. And we're going to talk more about that.
So I have questions from last week's show that I
(04:20):
want to talk more about because we were talking about
what resilience is and what it isn't. But first I
want to talk more about what it is not, okay,
so that all of you are clear what it is
and what it isn't. So if you are in pushing
(04:40):
and you're trying to push through, push through your feelings,
push through life, that's not resilient. If you're suppressing your
emotions pretending everything's fine, not resilience. If you're trying to
hustle or bypass your feelings with positivity, not resilience. And
(05:03):
last week we had a couple of questions, and I
want to review all the questions because all of them
are really important to talk about resilience and what's not resilience.
So Charles asked, going back to those who pretend to
be calm or numb, is that not healthy? And the
(05:23):
truth is that is not resilience. If you are pretending,
then you are not in your authentic self. You're not
connected to your soul, to that deep inner strength, in
a resilience within you, and pretending is not its disconnection.
(05:48):
It's not resilience. So and then Charles also asked, what
if you are numb inside and act like nothing is
You appear to be okay on the outside to others,
but you don't feel anything. And when you are in
(06:09):
that place where you are numbed out or not feeling,
that's not resilience. That is being numb and not able
to be. It's being disconnected from your feelings, being disconnected
from what your truth is, what your heart, what your
(06:32):
soul is trying to support you in and what happens
is when you feel And this could be from overwhelmed,
when you go into overwhelm, or there's too many things
happening at once, or too many feelings, or you've had trauma.
(06:55):
I really believe that a lot of people when into
post traumatic stress disorder and had trauma reactions during COVID,
and I feel that part of the craziness of our
world has to do with people did not heal from
(07:16):
all the things that were coming up for them. And
so now there's a lot of and I've talked about
this when we were talking about anger, acting out behavior,
acting out emotions, acting out anger, acting out other emotions,
and acting in emotions. So acting out emotions like when
(07:40):
you are hitting or or you're screaming or yelling, or
feeling irritable or road rage, any of those, that's acting out,
and that's acting out anger and then excuse me, I
got something in my eye. Then acting in emotions are
(08:01):
acting in when you are doing things that are self
destructive and not supportive, like you may be doing addictive
behaviors like eating or drinking or smoking or other kinds
of things that are really not supporting you, and they're
(08:24):
coping mechanisms, but they're not healthy coping mechanisms, and you've
used them in order to deal with the perhaps the numbness.
And so one of the other questions that came in
was from Misty, and Misty asked how long can a
person be in the shock state. So what happens is
(08:49):
is that when you are numb, when you are feeling
that numbness, you have shut down, and I call it.
You may be in what I pull shock where you
can't feel because what happened was you went into overwhelmed
and all the emotions that you aren't able to feel,
(09:11):
you just shut out and shut down. And shock is
also it could be a protective mechanism I talked about
that last show. But shock, you could be in shock
for days, months, years, a lifetime. People go in and
out of shock. You may have shock around one area
(09:34):
of your life but not around others. So you can
go in and out of the shock state. So if
you ever find yourself in I don't know, or you're
totally numb, you may be in shock. And the reason
why people go into shock again is because you've gone
into overwhelmed. You've gone into overwhelmed too many stimulation, too
(09:58):
many emotions, and in order to survive and cope, you
go into shop. So this is about learning. Hopefully you're
learning new things that you didn't learn before so that
perhaps you can recognize, oh, maybe I'm in shock. So definitely,
(10:18):
if you have any other questions about anything that I've said,
definitely put it into the chat. And so again, an
you can be in shock for years or a lifetime,
or days or months. And I also want you to
know as when someone when you're grieving, grieving is one
(10:41):
of the parts of the grief process. When a loved
one dies, or when you've lost your job, or you
break up, or your relationship breaks up, or you're having
a health challenge and you need to grieve. You could
be in shock. It could be denial where you're not
(11:04):
you don't you're not sure. In fact, the next question
will talk a little bit more about that. Shortly, so,
Anastasia asked, what if a person never reacted to a
situation and just kept going like it did not phase
them and won't talk about things. So someone who has
(11:28):
done that, they may be in what we call denial.
They're denying that the situation ever happened. They're denying that
they're that it's real. They don't want to deal with it,
or they could be in shock and it's been the
thought of dealing with that situation feels so overwhelming for
(11:50):
them they just shut down and go num. So it depends.
It may be one or the other, but more than likely,
if someone is not dealing with a situationation, then they're
either in denial or shock. And all of those are
what I call the ego ego defense mechanisms, which on
a psychological level helps you to survive, but at some
(12:15):
point you in order to be healthier and to be
resilient and to have emotional intelligence, because resilience is really
about having emotional intelligence, and it's being able to work through,
work through denial, work through shock, work through your emotions
so that you're allowing yourself to feel. And one of
(12:39):
my mottos is in order to heal, you need to feel.
So that's what you want to do. So I'm hoping
that you are able to listen, those of you who
ask the questions, that you're able to listen, or you
are listening, and that I answered the questions for you.
(13:00):
Oh so let's talk. Continue to talk about resilience. So
I told you when so, resilience is not because if
you go into a fear spiral, and I talked about
this last week too, you're in a fear spiral and
you're going down the rabbit hole and you're going down
round and round and round. Not resilience if you're in
(13:24):
your head and you're in the what ifs. Not resilience
if if you try and this is a this is
a big one for many people. So if you find
yourself so busy, constantly busy that your do do do, go,
go go, you may not be wanting to feel what's
(13:47):
really going on because constant motion, constant busyness may be
the way that you're dealing with trying to continue to
keep going, so you do not have to feel that's
what happens. That's what happens with workaholics is their work, work, work, work,
(14:09):
so they don't have to feel feeled, which is not
resilience and not healthy. So that's all. If you feel
burnt out or uninspired, or you're feeling disconnected spiritually, not resilience.
If you find yourself second guessing everything, or you're having
(14:30):
decision fatigue impasta syndrome, not resilience. You're reacting rather than responding,
not resilience. And what these symptoms mean is that your
nervous system is in survival mode. Now, I talked last
week about the fight flight freeze or fawn and fight
(14:57):
or flight fight. So when you are in that place
of reaction and you're reacting to a situation and that
may be what you need to do in order to survive.
And that's what happens is our nervous system is instinctively
(15:20):
going into that situation to survive. But what has happened
is over time you end up totally like you end
up being in chronic overload. And that chronic overload definitely
shuts you down and is not resilience, and it's really
(15:44):
important learning the coping skills to help you be more
resilient so that you can cope. And inner resilience again,
and everybody listening, whether you're listening live or you're listening
to the podcast or the YouTube at a later time,
(16:05):
take a breath and breathe. And there was a skill
that I taught on one of their past shows, and
I'm going to teach it again because it's a way
to help your nervous system calm down in minutes. And
it's the four to seven eight breath. So you breathe
(16:27):
in for four and count to four, you hold for seven,
and then you let go for eight. And you breathe
in for four, hold for seven, and let go and
count to eight, and one more time, take a deep
breath in and count to four and hold for seven
(16:51):
and then count to eight on the outbreath, and that
actually calms your nervous system, and that's what you want
to calm that nerve a system. So I'm going to
give you an example of resilience in a resilience and
I'm going to give you the story of Jenny and Jenny.
(17:16):
And you've heard me talk about Jenny before is in
Jenny and Jimmy. What happened with Jenny is Jimmy would
go into the rage and Jenny would just shut down
and freeze, and we got nicky in the house. Hi, Nicky,
all right? So Jenny would shut down, go into what
we call freeze, and again freeze. So you have fight,
(17:41):
that's aggression mode. Eating light is fear or running or hiding.
Freeze is shutting down when you get paralyzed. Like, have
you ever had the experience where you want to say
something to someone, Let's say they'd been nasty or mean
or even like with Jimmy, he would be yelling and
(18:04):
she would want to say stop, shut up, leave me alone,
but she couldn't. She would totally go inward and she
would freeze and get paralyzed. That is freeze. And then
phone is when you people please. So very often people
(18:25):
who were that they were the way that they survived trauma,
especially in your family system, is you would people please,
and so you were so busy people pleasing that you
forgot about you. I also called that co dependency that
(18:48):
you're so other focused that you don't even know who
you are or what you want or what you feel.
It's learning that. And Jenny would do that too because
she was afraid of Jimmy. She was afraid. She didn't
want to hear his rages. But the thing is is,
no matter what Jenny did, it wasn't gonna stop Jimmy
(19:12):
because he was out of control with his rage. And
so sometimes she would trigger him conciously, okay, subconsciously unconsciously,
And if you know my I'm gonna do my quick
psych one on one so we're all on the same page.
Your conscious mind is the part of you that's conscious, aware, alert,
(19:34):
making the decision and choosing to be here. So thank
you conscious mind of yours. Your subconscious or unconscious mind
is the part that is reacting, triggering, having emotional reactions,
shutting down, going numb. All all of those a part fight, fight, freeze,
(19:57):
and fawn are all part of the reactions from this
subconscious unconscious mind. And originally it was a protection. I
will get by Annie, I get to you shortly. And
originally it was a protection. And now what happened was
(20:20):
that it became you started going unconscious and you are
reacting and doing things that happened that it just you
go on automatic and you're doing that a lot. It's
so important to know what's going on in your unconscious,
subconscious mind, limiting beliefs, emotions, unresolved trauma happens. Is there
(20:46):
all those limiting beliefs and emotions. Then you have your
super conscious mind, which is your soul, your higher self
that was unconditionally loving part of you. It's God universe,
and that's what you want to be caned in your resilience.
So being conscious and being in the super conscious mind
(21:06):
is resilient and coming out of subconscious mind, so hopefully,
and so what happens is you want to learn what's
going on, becoming aware so that you can come out
of that unconscious state to come into awareness and presence
(21:27):
and groundedness, learning to make decisions from a responding state
instead of a reacting state. That's resilience. Okay, let's get
to Annie's question. Annie said, did you say or you
did say they were able to work things out right? So, yes,
(21:48):
what happened with Jenny and Jimmy is they came into
counseling and they started. And here's the thing. If one
of you, if one of you decides to go into counseling,
your relationship can work. If both of you go into counseling,
either your relationship will work out and you'll both heal,
(22:14):
or you'll end up being a better you. And if
it's not meant for you to go to get stay together,
then you can be conscious in your separation. But in
this case, Jenny and Jimmy did stay together. They worked
through their stuff individually and as a couple, and they
(22:36):
were able to stay together. So I want you to
know that things can work out. Like when you do
your work, you don't know what kind of miracles and
magic and possibilities happen. And that's the land of resilience
when you work on being more resilient, and it's being
(22:58):
in that place of a line so that you can
allow the magic and miracles to thank you for that question.
And so how do you go from fear to faith?
So when you have that time, and here's the thing.
(23:19):
If you are in your head and you're in I
call it spin mode, and you're and their mind is
going going, You're not present, you're either in your past
or the future. And one of the things that's going
to be really important to help you with resilience is
(23:40):
coming out of that place and coming into alignment, coming
into the place of peace, of love, of joy, of
your soul or your higher self, the higher higher aspects
of you. Then you know when you feel. A real
key to this is feeling. When you feel peace and
(24:03):
love and joy, you're in resilience. So how do you
get there? How do you stay there? How do you
go from that place of fear to the place of faith?
So I will be talking about that shortly. First I
wanted one of the ways that you can help yourself
(24:25):
to get into the place of resilience and help yourself
calm down, clear your energy, connect more deeply to your
higher self and your soul and even connect with your
intuition is through my intuitive decision making meditation And you
can go to Inspired and Empowered Living dot com. The
(24:49):
name of the show Inspired and Empowered Living dot com
forward slash meditation me d I T A T I
O N. So rebel, can you put it on the
screen and in the chat, thank you so Inspired and
(25:13):
Empowered Living dot com forward slash meditation me D I
T A T I O N. And then it's there's
not only a meditation, but there's also a PDF. So
if you want to read it and learn how to
(25:34):
do it. You can do that as well, so I
invite you to do that. So how do you shift
from fear to faith? Well, the first thing is, okay, now,
when when we were talking, when I was talking in
the beginning about numbness and being numb, you need to
(25:56):
recognize that perhaps that maybe you're shock, that you're numb,
that you've numbed out. If you're not feeling and you're
just going through life, going through the emotions, something's going on.
And the first thing, now, you may feel fear, you
may not, because if you're numb, you may not even
(26:18):
be aware of the fear. And the first thing is
to acknowledge what you're feeling. And it's okay to acknowledge
that you feel fear. Listen, part of being human is
feeling and feeling fear. It's not about not feeling the fear.
It's about acknowledging the fear and moving through it so
(26:41):
that you can get to the energy of faith. But
if you don't acknowledge fear, if you pretend I'm fine,
nothing's bothering me, ohtally, okay me, then you're not going
to be able to move through it. So The first
step is being able to acknowledge that fear and say, Okay,
(27:06):
I'm feeling fear, and then you can ask yourself, ask
what do I need to do for my self care?
What do I need to do to take care of
myself right now, I'm feeling fear, I'm feeling maybe you're
feeling anxiety. And if you are, then finding your tools,
(27:28):
your coping skills that will empower you to help you
get back into a calmer state, to help you get
back into that place of resilience. And what happens is
that fear will marrow your energy and it pulls you
into the survival mode. And what you want is to
(27:51):
be in thrival. You want to be in that place
of faith. So what happens is when you feel the fear,
when you're aware, and this is again becoming aware that
you're feeling fear. And one of the ways is you
may feel like you're all eight or tense, if you're
(28:14):
stressed out, you're in some type of emotion. It could
be fear, could be anger, and sometimes it's a combination
of a few of them, and it's learning to breathe
through it. Or we talked about exercising it talked about
the breath, the four seven eight breath, and you can
(28:35):
use the four seven eight breath wherever you are. I mean,
if you're in a meeting, or you're at.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Work, or you're going to or on the way to
a meeting, or you're doing something, you can do the
four seven eight breath.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
You can even go to the bathroom if you need
to take a few minutes before you go to the net.
The next part of what you're going to do during
the day, and when you calm your nervous system down,
then you can say what will help me get back
into faith. Now, it's interesting because I wasn't even planning
(29:17):
on saying this, but it came. What happens is when
you calm your nervous system down and one of the
ways it's really interesting, but when you put your hand
on your heart or hands on your heart, there's also
something that happens for you. It's one of the ways
that you can start tuning in to you tuning into
(29:40):
that energy of faith, and you can ask for help.
You can ask your guides and your angels, your higher self,
your soul help me feel faith. Like you need to
get out of that place of fear. Making that decision
conscious decision. That's how how your conscious mind empowers you,
(30:02):
because when you make the conscious decision, Oh, I'm in fear,
or I'm feeling anxiety, or I'm angry, or I'm upset,
I need to do or I'm numb, I need to
do something to bring me into a calmer state of being.
And so it could be the breath work, it could
(30:22):
be journaling, it could be going to the gym, it
could be I just I just had a situation with
a client and she we were talking and she was
feeling really stressed out, and all of a sudden, I
got a vision that she needed to do the punching bag.
(30:46):
I saw the bag and I saw her punching it
with like boxing gloves. And she said to me, did
you know I used to bop? And I said, no,
I didn't know that. And so what ended up happening
is that would be so if you maybe you need
to go to the gym and let off steam somewhere.
It's about doing this. Remember I'm always talking about letting
(31:09):
go of the emotions so that you are not hurting yourself,
someone else, or the environment. So punching a punching bag.
Many of you remember Bozo's or that you know the
child one that you punch when you were a kid,
or punching a pillow safe way so that you're not
(31:31):
hurting yourself for someone else. And so really I want
to support all of you in finding the tools and
then once once you become aware, and once you and
here's the thing, learning resilience, learning to do the coping
skills to bring your nervous system into a calmer, aligned state,
(31:54):
will help you to be able to then go into
the place of faith. And that may be maybe it'll
be meditation. Maybe you couldn't meditate before, but in a
camma state, you can meditate and connect more deeply to you.
Or you can use my meditation that I talked about,
(32:16):
or maybe you want to pray. I love prayer, I
like meditation, I like prayer. I have clients who use
inspirational reading and do inspirational reading, so that's another option.
These are all possibilities to help you move through the
fear into faith. And the more you learn, the more
(32:40):
you learn to connect with yourself, the more you learn
to connect with the higher aspects, the more you learn
to connect with God, higher power. And this is a process.
It can help restore your faith. It could help you
bring you back into that place that you've been longing for.
(33:02):
And I want you to know that peace is possible,
faith is possible, all of it, and that you deserve
it and it's your time. Annie says, it sounds like
it's worth looking into. Yes, Annie, definitely calming yourself down
(33:23):
so that you can then find your tool So you
want to find your tools to calm yourself down, to
cope so that you can become more resilient and then
move into that faith process. And we are going to
continue to talk more about resilience next week because it's
(33:47):
such an important topic in these times. It's an important
topic all the time. Resilience is a skill that you
can learn, and I really want to support you all
in learning it because it's a life changing skill. Nicky says,
we are building a tool box here. I love it, Nicky. Yes,
(34:10):
that's what that's what I want for all of you.
You're building the tool box here exactly. Thank you. So
to be continued next week, so stay tuned for more
inspired and empowered living for thriving life and business. And
we are live on Thursdays at five pm Eastern on
(34:33):
talkfortv dot com, W four WN dot com, my YouTube channel,
and you can also hear the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify
and Dora, Apple, Amazon and many more. And I wish
you all an inspired and empowered day or evening and
(34:58):
inspired empowered we have a great one. Everybody's life now
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show for a thriving life and business. And we
are live on Thursdays at five pm Eastern on talk
for TV dot com, W FOURWN dot com and my
YouTube channel. And today's show, we are going to be
(01:16):
talking about cultivating your inner resilience in uncertain times are
two and this is a really important show because in
our world, life can feel very unpredictable, and you may
(01:38):
feel things are hectic or crazy in your personal life,
and then there's the world. How do you stay grounded,
how do you stay centered? How do you stay aligned
and empowered with your purpose? We're going to explore that
more today and learn how to build your emotional and
(02:01):
spiritual resilience meeting life's challenges with grace, clarity, and courage
and expose, expose, expose and explore, like we're going to
uncover and expose the things that you may not have
(02:22):
realized about how you may or may not be resilient,
and we're going to explore and expose more of that
and learn how to shift from fear to faith, release
your overwhelm, and reconnect to the strength of your soul. Together,
(02:45):
let's create a life you love. I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch,
licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and intuitive business expert,
combining my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to transform your life.
And the show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
(03:05):
It is for educational purposes only. So let's talk a
little bit about again what really is resilience and what
is in a resilience. In a resilience is your ability
to stay calm, emotionally centered, mentally clear, and spiritually connected
(03:30):
even in these uncertain times when life throws you curveballs
and you are not sure what's going to happen from
moment to moment, day to day. But learning in a
resilience can help you to navigate those challenges with ease
(03:55):
and grace and being able to feel more canted, helping
you to be able to feel connected, to feel empowered,
to feel inspired. And we're going to talk more about that.
So I have questions from last week's show that I
(04:20):
want to talk more about because we were talking about
what resilience is and what it isn't. But first I
want to talk more about what it is not, okay,
so that all of you are clear what it is
and what it isn't. So if you are in pushing
(04:40):
and you're trying to push through, push through your feelings,
push through life, that's not resilient. If you're suppressing your
emotions pretending everything's fine, not resilience. If you're trying to
hustle or bypass your feelings with positivity, not resilience. And
(05:03):
last week we had a couple of questions, and I
want to review all the questions because all of them
are really important to talk about resilience and what's not resilience.
So Charles asked, going back to those who pretend to
be calm or numb, is that not healthy? And the
(05:23):
truth is that is not resilience. If you are pretending,
then you are not in your authentic self. You're not
connected to your soul, to that deep inner strength, in
a resilience within you, and pretending is not its disconnection.
(05:48):
It's not resilience. So and then Charles also asked, what
if you are numb inside and act like nothing is
You appear to be okay on the outside to others,
but you don't feel anything. And when you are in
(06:09):
that place where you are numbed out or not feeling,
that's not resilience. That is being numb and not able
to be. It's being disconnected from your feelings, being disconnected
from what your truth is, what your heart, what your
(06:32):
soul is trying to support you in and what happens
is when you feel And this could be from overwhelmed,
when you go into overwhelm, or there's too many things
happening at once, or too many feelings, or you've had trauma.
(06:55):
I really believe that a lot of people when into
post traumatic stress disorder and had trauma reactions during COVID,
and I feel that part of the craziness of our
world has to do with people did not heal from
(07:16):
all the things that were coming up for them. And
so now there's a lot of and I've talked about
this when we were talking about anger, acting out behavior,
acting out emotions, acting out anger, acting out other emotions,
and acting in emotions. So acting out emotions like when
(07:40):
you are hitting or or you're screaming or yelling, or
feeling irritable or road rage, any of those, that's acting out,
and that's acting out anger and then excuse me, I
got something in my eye. Then acting in emotions are
(08:01):
acting in when you are doing things that are self
destructive and not supportive, like you may be doing addictive
behaviors like eating or drinking or smoking or other kinds
of things that are really not supporting you, and they're
(08:24):
coping mechanisms, but they're not healthy coping mechanisms, and you've
used them in order to deal with the perhaps the numbness.
And so one of the other questions that came in
was from Misty, and Misty asked how long can a
person be in the shock state. So what happens is
(08:49):
is that when you are numb, when you are feeling
that numbness, you have shut down, and I call it.
You may be in what I pull shock where you
can't feel because what happened was you went into overwhelmed
and all the emotions that you aren't able to feel,
(09:11):
you just shut out and shut down. And shock is
also it could be a protective mechanism I talked about
that last show. But shock, you could be in shock
for days, months, years, a lifetime. People go in and
out of shock. You may have shock around one area
(09:34):
of your life but not around others. So you can
go in and out of the shock state. So if
you ever find yourself in I don't know, or you're
totally numb, you may be in shock. And the reason
why people go into shock again is because you've gone
into overwhelmed. You've gone into overwhelmed too many stimulation, too
(09:58):
many emotions, and in order to survive and cope, you
go into shop. So this is about learning. Hopefully you're
learning new things that you didn't learn before so that
perhaps you can recognize, oh, maybe I'm in shock. So definitely,
(10:18):
if you have any other questions about anything that I've said,
definitely put it into the chat. And so again, an
you can be in shock for years or a lifetime,
or days or months. And I also want you to
know as when someone when you're grieving, grieving is one
(10:41):
of the parts of the grief process. When a loved
one dies, or when you've lost your job, or you
break up, or your relationship breaks up, or you're having
a health challenge and you need to grieve. You could
be in shock. It could be denial where you're not
(11:04):
you don't you're not sure. In fact, the next question
will talk a little bit more about that. Shortly, so,
Anastasia asked, what if a person never reacted to a
situation and just kept going like it did not phase
them and won't talk about things. So someone who has
(11:28):
done that, they may be in what we call denial.
They're denying that the situation ever happened. They're denying that
they're that it's real. They don't want to deal with it,
or they could be in shock and it's been the
thought of dealing with that situation feels so overwhelming for
(11:50):
them they just shut down and go num. So it depends.
It may be one or the other, but more than likely,
if someone is not dealing with a situationation, then they're
either in denial or shock. And all of those are
what I call the ego ego defense mechanisms, which on
a psychological level helps you to survive, but at some
(12:15):
point you in order to be healthier and to be
resilient and to have emotional intelligence, because resilience is really
about having emotional intelligence, and it's being able to work through,
work through denial, work through shock, work through your emotions
so that you're allowing yourself to feel. And one of
(12:39):
my mottos is in order to heal, you need to feel.
So that's what you want to do. So I'm hoping
that you are able to listen, those of you who
ask the questions, that you're able to listen, or you
are listening, and that I answered the questions for you.
(13:00):
Oh so let's talk. Continue to talk about resilience. So
I told you when so, resilience is not because if
you go into a fear spiral, and I talked about
this last week too, you're in a fear spiral and
you're going down the rabbit hole and you're going down
round and round and round. Not resilience if you're in
(13:24):
your head and you're in the what ifs. Not resilience
if if you try and this is a this is
a big one for many people. So if you find
yourself so busy, constantly busy that your do do do, go,
go go, you may not be wanting to feel what's
(13:47):
really going on because constant motion, constant busyness may be
the way that you're dealing with trying to continue to
keep going, so you do not have to feel that's
what happens. That's what happens with workaholics is their work, work, work, work,
(14:09):
so they don't have to feel feeled, which is not
resilience and not healthy. So that's all. If you feel
burnt out or uninspired, or you're feeling disconnected spiritually, not resilience.
If you find yourself second guessing everything, or you're having
(14:30):
decision fatigue impasta syndrome, not resilience. You're reacting rather than responding,
not resilience. And what these symptoms mean is that your
nervous system is in survival mode. Now, I talked last
week about the fight flight freeze or fawn and fight
(14:57):
or flight fight. So when you are in that place
of reaction and you're reacting to a situation and that
may be what you need to do in order to survive.
And that's what happens is our nervous system is instinctively
(15:20):
going into that situation to survive. But what has happened
is over time you end up totally like you end
up being in chronic overload. And that chronic overload definitely
shuts you down and is not resilience, and it's really
(15:44):
important learning the coping skills to help you be more
resilient so that you can cope. And inner resilience again,
and everybody listening, whether you're listening live or you're listening
to the podcast or the YouTube at a later time,
(16:05):
take a breath and breathe. And there was a skill
that I taught on one of their past shows, and
I'm going to teach it again because it's a way
to help your nervous system calm down in minutes. And
it's the four to seven eight breath. So you breathe
(16:27):
in for four and count to four, you hold for seven,
and then you let go for eight. And you breathe
in for four, hold for seven, and let go and
count to eight, and one more time, take a deep
breath in and count to four and hold for seven
(16:51):
and then count to eight on the outbreath, and that
actually calms your nervous system, and that's what you want
to calm that nerve a system. So I'm going to
give you an example of resilience in a resilience and
I'm going to give you the story of Jenny and Jenny.
(17:16):
And you've heard me talk about Jenny before is in
Jenny and Jimmy. What happened with Jenny is Jimmy would
go into the rage and Jenny would just shut down
and freeze, and we got nicky in the house. Hi, Nicky,
all right? So Jenny would shut down, go into what
we call freeze, and again freeze. So you have fight,
(17:41):
that's aggression mode. Eating light is fear or running or hiding.
Freeze is shutting down when you get paralyzed. Like, have
you ever had the experience where you want to say
something to someone, Let's say they'd been nasty or mean
or even like with Jimmy, he would be yelling and
(18:04):
she would want to say stop, shut up, leave me alone,
but she couldn't. She would totally go inward and she
would freeze and get paralyzed. That is freeze. And then
phone is when you people please. So very often people
(18:25):
who were that they were the way that they survived trauma,
especially in your family system, is you would people please,
and so you were so busy people pleasing that you
forgot about you. I also called that co dependency that
(18:48):
you're so other focused that you don't even know who
you are or what you want or what you feel.
It's learning that. And Jenny would do that too because
she was afraid of Jimmy. She was afraid. She didn't
want to hear his rages. But the thing is is,
no matter what Jenny did, it wasn't gonna stop Jimmy
(19:12):
because he was out of control with his rage. And
so sometimes she would trigger him conciously, okay, subconsciously unconsciously,
And if you know my I'm gonna do my quick
psych one on one so we're all on the same page.
Your conscious mind is the part of you that's conscious, aware, alert,
(19:34):
making the decision and choosing to be here. So thank
you conscious mind of yours. Your subconscious or unconscious mind
is the part that is reacting, triggering, having emotional reactions,
shutting down, going numb. All all of those a part fight, fight, freeze,
(19:57):
and fawn are all part of the reactions from this
subconscious unconscious mind. And originally it was a protection. I
will get by Annie, I get to you shortly. And
originally it was a protection. And now what happened was
(20:20):
that it became you started going unconscious and you are
reacting and doing things that happened that it just you
go on automatic and you're doing that a lot. It's
so important to know what's going on in your unconscious,
subconscious mind, limiting beliefs, emotions, unresolved trauma happens. Is there
(20:46):
all those limiting beliefs and emotions. Then you have your
super conscious mind, which is your soul, your higher self
that was unconditionally loving part of you. It's God universe,
and that's what you want to be caned in your resilience.
So being conscious and being in the super conscious mind
(21:06):
is resilient and coming out of subconscious mind, so hopefully,
and so what happens is you want to learn what's
going on, becoming aware so that you can come out
of that unconscious state to come into awareness and presence
(21:27):
and groundedness, learning to make decisions from a responding state
instead of a reacting state. That's resilience. Okay, let's get
to Annie's question. Annie said, did you say or you
did say they were able to work things out right? So, yes,
(21:48):
what happened with Jenny and Jimmy is they came into
counseling and they started. And here's the thing. If one
of you, if one of you decides to go into counseling,
your relationship can work. If both of you go into counseling,
either your relationship will work out and you'll both heal,
(22:14):
or you'll end up being a better you. And if
it's not meant for you to go to get stay together,
then you can be conscious in your separation. But in
this case, Jenny and Jimmy did stay together. They worked
through their stuff individually and as a couple, and they
(22:36):
were able to stay together. So I want you to
know that things can work out. Like when you do
your work, you don't know what kind of miracles and
magic and possibilities happen. And that's the land of resilience
when you work on being more resilient, and it's being
(22:58):
in that place of a line so that you can
allow the magic and miracles to thank you for that question.
And so how do you go from fear to faith?
So when you have that time, and here's the thing.
(23:19):
If you are in your head and you're in I
call it spin mode, and you're and their mind is
going going, You're not present, you're either in your past
or the future. And one of the things that's going
to be really important to help you with resilience is
(23:40):
coming out of that place and coming into alignment, coming
into the place of peace, of love, of joy, of
your soul or your higher self, the higher higher aspects
of you. Then you know when you feel. A real
key to this is feeling. When you feel peace and
(24:03):
love and joy, you're in resilience. So how do you
get there? How do you stay there? How do you
go from that place of fear to the place of faith?
So I will be talking about that shortly. First I
wanted one of the ways that you can help yourself
(24:25):
to get into the place of resilience and help yourself
calm down, clear your energy, connect more deeply to your
higher self and your soul and even connect with your
intuition is through my intuitive decision making meditation And you
can go to Inspired and Empowered Living dot com. The
(24:49):
name of the show Inspired and Empowered Living dot com
forward slash meditation me d I T A T I
O N. So rebel, can you put it on the
screen and in the chat, thank you so Inspired and
(25:13):
Empowered Living dot com forward slash meditation me D I
T A T I O N. And then it's there's
not only a meditation, but there's also a PDF. So
if you want to read it and learn how to
(25:34):
do it. You can do that as well, so I
invite you to do that. So how do you shift
from fear to faith? Well, the first thing is, okay, now,
when when we were talking, when I was talking in
the beginning about numbness and being numb, you need to
(25:56):
recognize that perhaps that maybe you're shock, that you're numb,
that you've numbed out. If you're not feeling and you're
just going through life, going through the emotions, something's going on.
And the first thing, now, you may feel fear, you
may not, because if you're numb, you may not even
(26:18):
be aware of the fear. And the first thing is
to acknowledge what you're feeling. And it's okay to acknowledge
that you feel fear. Listen, part of being human is
feeling and feeling fear. It's not about not feeling the fear.
It's about acknowledging the fear and moving through it so
(26:41):
that you can get to the energy of faith. But
if you don't acknowledge fear, if you pretend I'm fine,
nothing's bothering me, ohtally, okay me, then you're not going
to be able to move through it. So The first
step is being able to acknowledge that fear and say, Okay,
(27:06):
I'm feeling fear, and then you can ask yourself, ask
what do I need to do for my self care?
What do I need to do to take care of
myself right now, I'm feeling fear, I'm feeling maybe you're
feeling anxiety. And if you are, then finding your tools,
(27:28):
your coping skills that will empower you to help you
get back into a calmer state, to help you get
back into that place of resilience. And what happens is
that fear will marrow your energy and it pulls you
into the survival mode. And what you want is to
(27:51):
be in thrival. You want to be in that place
of faith. So what happens is when you feel the fear,
when you're aware, and this is again becoming aware that
you're feeling fear. And one of the ways is you
may feel like you're all eight or tense, if you're
(28:14):
stressed out, you're in some type of emotion. It could
be fear, could be anger, and sometimes it's a combination
of a few of them, and it's learning to breathe
through it. Or we talked about exercising it talked about
the breath, the four seven eight breath, and you can
(28:35):
use the four seven eight breath wherever you are. I mean,
if you're in a meeting, or you're at.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Work, or you're going to or on the way to
a meeting, or you're doing something, you can do the
four seven eight breath.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
You can even go to the bathroom if you need
to take a few minutes before you go to the net.
The next part of what you're going to do during
the day, and when you calm your nervous system down,
then you can say what will help me get back
into faith. Now, it's interesting because I wasn't even planning
(29:17):
on saying this, but it came. What happens is when
you calm your nervous system down and one of the
ways it's really interesting, but when you put your hand
on your heart or hands on your heart, there's also
something that happens for you. It's one of the ways
that you can start tuning in to you tuning into
(29:40):
that energy of faith, and you can ask for help.
You can ask your guides and your angels, your higher self,
your soul help me feel faith. Like you need to
get out of that place of fear. Making that decision
conscious decision. That's how how your conscious mind empowers you,
(30:02):
because when you make the conscious decision, Oh, I'm in fear,
or I'm feeling anxiety, or I'm angry, or I'm upset,
I need to do or I'm numb, I need to
do something to bring me into a calmer state of being.
And so it could be the breath work, it could
(30:22):
be journaling, it could be going to the gym, it
could be I just I just had a situation with
a client and she we were talking and she was
feeling really stressed out, and all of a sudden, I
got a vision that she needed to do the punching bag.
(30:46):
I saw the bag and I saw her punching it
with like boxing gloves. And she said to me, did
you know I used to bop? And I said, no,
I didn't know that. And so what ended up happening
is that would be so if you maybe you need
to go to the gym and let off steam somewhere.
It's about doing this. Remember I'm always talking about letting
(31:09):
go of the emotions so that you are not hurting yourself,
someone else, or the environment. So punching a punching bag.
Many of you remember Bozo's or that you know the
child one that you punch when you were a kid,
or punching a pillow safe way so that you're not
(31:31):
hurting yourself for someone else. And so really I want
to support all of you in finding the tools and
then once once you become aware, and once you and
here's the thing, learning resilience, learning to do the coping
skills to bring your nervous system into a calmer, aligned state,
(31:54):
will help you to be able to then go into
the place of faith. And that may be maybe it'll
be meditation. Maybe you couldn't meditate before, but in a
camma state, you can meditate and connect more deeply to you.
Or you can use my meditation that I talked about,
(32:16):
or maybe you want to pray. I love prayer, I
like meditation, I like prayer. I have clients who use
inspirational reading and do inspirational reading, so that's another option.
These are all possibilities to help you move through the
fear into faith. And the more you learn, the more
(32:40):
you learn to connect with yourself, the more you learn
to connect with the higher aspects, the more you learn
to connect with God, higher power. And this is a process.
It can help restore your faith. It could help you
bring you back into that place that you've been longing for.
(33:02):
And I want you to know that peace is possible,
faith is possible, all of it, and that you deserve
it and it's your time. Annie says, it sounds like
it's worth looking into. Yes, Annie, definitely calming yourself down
(33:23):
so that you can then find your tool So you
want to find your tools to calm yourself down, to
cope so that you can become more resilient and then
move into that faith process. And we are going to
continue to talk more about resilience next week because it's
(33:47):
such an important topic in these times. It's an important
topic all the time. Resilience is a skill that you
can learn, and I really want to support you all
in learning it because it's a life changing skill. Nicky says,
we are building a tool box here. I love it, Nicky. Yes,
(34:10):
that's what that's what I want for all of you.
You're building the tool box here exactly. Thank you. So
to be continued next week, so stay tuned for more
inspired and empowered living for thriving life and business. And
we are live on Thursdays at five pm Eastern on
(34:33):
talkfortv dot com, W four WN dot com, my YouTube channel,
and you can also hear the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify
and Dora, Apple, Amazon and many more. And I wish
you all an inspired and empowered day or evening and
(34:58):
inspired empowered we have a great one. Everybody's life now
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