June 19, 2025 • 39 mins
Emotional Intelligence is a game-changer — personally and professionally.
It's one of the most important keys to creating the life and business you truly love.
In this episode, you'll learn how to harness the power of Emotional Intelligence to increase confidence, improve communication, and make soul-aligned decisions.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
It's one of the most important keys to creating the life and business you truly love.
In this episode, you'll learn how to harness the power of Emotional Intelligence to increase confidence, improve communication, and make soul-aligned decisions.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. We are live on Thursday, five
pm Eastern on Top four TV dot com, W four
WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today we
(01:11):
will be continuing to talk about emotional intelligence, mastering emotions,
mastering life. The power of emotional intelligence are three and
when you have emotional intelligence, it is a game changer
(01:33):
personally and professionally, and it's one of the most important
keys to creating an inspired and empowered life. And today
you'll discover the three core principles of emotional intelligence, and
how emotional intelligence transforms your relationship, your career, and your wellbeing.
(01:55):
And the number one mistake that can block you and
block your path to a life you love, and how
to avoid it. Together, let's create a life you love.
I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch, licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist,
and intuitive business expert. I can buy my counseling, coaching,
(02:19):
and intuitive abilities to transform your life and your business
and or. This show is not a replacement for therapy
or counseling. It is for educational purposes only. So let's
review for those of you who may just be tuning in,
(02:40):
let's review what is emotional intelligence? And so emotional intelligence
is it's I was talking about this emotional mastery. It's
being able to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions
(03:02):
and then to recognize, understand and positively influence the emotions
of others. And when we talk about emotional mastery, it's
learning how to be able to come back into what
we call regulation, emotional regulation where you're able to go
(03:27):
from reacting to a person, a place, a situation, or
something that's going on and being able to come back
into alignment. And so it's not about suppressing or denying
your emotion, but it's about asking what am I really
feeling and then asking yourself once you get in touch
(03:50):
with the feeling, being able to acknowledge it in a
healthy way. And I'm always talking about not acting on
your feelings where you're heard yourself, someone else, or the environment,
but acknowledging the feeling and then being able to take
action on it in a healthy way. So, and you
(04:12):
may wonder what's the difference between emotional intelligence and IQ,
intelligence intelligence quotions. So intelligence actually actually is measured by
what your intellect and what you know and your knowledge.
(04:35):
Emotional intelligence is being able to manage and to regulate.
And we're going to talk more about your emotions to
be able to help you to transform yourself and your
life by having emotional mastery and emotional intelligence. And we
(04:56):
have a common Anastagia said, could be a wonder? So, Anastasia,
what I would love to hear from you? Can you
explain more what you mean by could be a want
or wonder? So, because I definitely want to understand more
about what your question or comment is. So I look
(05:18):
forward to hearing more about what you mean by could
be a wonder. And So IQ and emotions, Okay, IQ
and emotions, So IQ and emotions, Like IQ is your intelligence,
and then emotions is your emotional EQ. It's actually called
(05:44):
the EQ, your emotional quotient as opposed to IQ. So okay, So,
and when you are in the energy, let's talk about
the energy of wondering. Wondering wondering what are you feeling,
how are you feeling, what action you can take to
(06:05):
help you to get back to emotional regulation. And I'm
going to be talking a little bit more about that
very shortly. So let's talk about what why does emotional
intelligence even matter, like how it really makes a difference.
(06:27):
First of all, how you handle your stress emotional intelligence.
When you learn to handle your stress and you learn
to regulate your emotionals, you have learned more how to
have emotional mastery emotional regulation, and it really does affect
(06:49):
how you handle stress because if you are reacting to stress,
and I know I talked about the stress reaction in
the first segment of this. When you handle stress and
you're in one fight, flight or freeze, you will definitely
be reactive. And so learning to be able to calm
(07:13):
down and get into a place of breathing and relaxing
and alignment will make a huge difference. And then the
other thing that happens with emotional intelligence is it affects
how you are at your job or in your business.
(07:34):
It helps you or it affects you how you are
as a leader, how you run your business, how you
it relate to people in your work. Whatever your work is,
whether you're working at a job or you have your
own business, it's really important. Emotional intelligence is the difference
(08:00):
between being able to be a successful business owner or
successful in your career or successful in your job as
compared to someone who doesn't have emotional intelligence and really
is not good at relationships and really has challenges with it.
(08:23):
So that's how powerful emotional intelligence is. And then when
you strengthen your relationships and you are clear in your communication,
and what happens is as you are able to keel
and relax and release the emotions once you discover and
(08:47):
acknowledge them, then you can clearly communicate your emotions so
that it can strengthen your relationships. And strengthening your relationship
is the key to an empowered and inspired, an empowered life.
We all need relationships, good relationships, healthy relationships. And the
(09:11):
healthier you are in your emotional in your emotions and
regulating your emotions and having emotional mastery, the better your
relationships and the better you're able to manage your relationships.
So all of it is really powerful tools. So I
(09:32):
talked about being able to what do you do? What
do you do to get back to emotional intelligence and
be able to be in that place where when you're reacting,
what can you do to calm yourself down. Now we
(09:56):
had talked about earlier, what as I remember the question
or their request Atastasia to ask about breathing. So let's
talk a little bit about breathing again. Because breathing is
something you could do anywhere, and it depends on how
But once you start taking deeper breadths, when you get stressed,
(10:19):
when you are in an emotional reaction, So when you
get triggered, and you get triggered, what I mean by
triggered is you are reacting. You are reacting to a person,
a situation in your life, or something that's happening in
the world. I during my work, I deal with my
(10:40):
clients that they're reacting to things that are going on
in the world. They're reacting to things that are going
on in their business, so things that are happening to
people around them. And the more that you can come
back to center and where you can use your breath
(11:01):
for all of it, you can use your breath to
help you come back to emotional regulation and alignment. So
breathing and I talk a lot about belly breathing, and
I'll give you an example. So the best way that
I like to talk about belly breathing is putting your
(11:22):
hand on your belly so that you can watch your
belly rise and fall, and you know if you're helping yourself,
because what happens is when your belly rises, your diaphragm
it's really diaphragm breathing, and your diaphragm goes up and
then your diaphragm goes down. So when you breathe in,
(11:45):
your belly should go up, and when you breathe out,
your belly goes down, and your diaphragm is like a balloon.
So you want to fill it up with all this
fresh air like quite specially like if you're outside or
that really calms and supports you. So breathe belly up,
(12:05):
breathing in and breathing out, belly down, breathing in belly
up and breathing out billy down. So that's one tool
that you can use anywhere, anytime, So definitely want to
support you in doing that. Then other tools I've talked
(12:28):
about journaling and being able to journal, allowing yourself to
journal and write, write it out, write out whatever, you're feeling.
Like if you have a situation that has come up
in your life and you are not sure what to do,
(12:48):
or you're feeling very reactive about it, I would start
journaling about it and just writing and writing and writing. Now,
I've talked about Julia Cameron book The Artist Way, And
in the Artist Way she talks about she talks about
(13:09):
the she talks about the being able to release your thoughts,
your emotions on the paper. But three pages, for three pages,
you just write, write, rite, whatever you're feeling, what's ever
(13:30):
coming up, what'sever going on, and just doing that for
at least three pages, and by the end of the
three pages, you have released hopefully you release the energy
and you can then move on. Now, very often she
(13:51):
calls it the morning pages. So when you wake up
in the morning and you need to clear and feel
because I'm always talking about starting your day in a
spiritual way, and when you start your day in a
spiritual way, I believe that helps you be able to
(14:12):
have that emotional intelligence, that emotional management to really support
you through the day. Now, if you have things and
situations come up, you may need to do some other
kinds of tools during the day, but when you start
your day in a spiritual way, and that could be meditation,
(14:35):
it could be prayer, it could be the writing, the
journaling morning pages, it could be reading inspirational reading. I
have clients that do reading and they read inspirational books,
books that fill them up so that they are then
(14:57):
just feeling so filled and it really helps. Now you're
going to be able to I am also going to
support you. And this is just something I just want
you to know. I sometimes what happens when I'm doing
the show or I'm teaching or I'm sharing, all of
(15:20):
a sudden, I get a hit, I get a like,
All of a sudden, I get like what I call
you can call it a download or you can call it,
you know, some kind of information for you to help you.
And so what I am going to all support you
in doing is to create a word. Create a word
(15:42):
that brings you into a centered state, that brings you
excuse me, that brings you into alignment. And so perhaps
the word for you would be peace, learning peace, to
saying peace. And what I support you do is in
(16:05):
the morning, when you have calmed yourself, whether you're doing
the morning Pages, or you've meditated or Another thing that
I also want to support you in doing is moving, exercising, dancing,
anything or listening to music, anything that helps you move
(16:25):
the energy through your body. Breathing like I was talking about,
can help you come back to center. And when you're
in that place of quietnessness and center and peace, think
of a word and it could be something that inspires you.
Maybe it's flowers, maybe it's the beach or a beautiful
(16:49):
still lake, maybe it's and you may visualize it in
your mind and you want to feel it in your body.
What that image bring to you or you feel it?
How does it feel? Do you feel the peace? Maybe
(17:10):
the word is stillness, Maybe the word is breathed, Maybe
the word is love or joy. So I invite you
to discover your word, the word that you can use
throughout the day to bring you back to a place
of quietness or peace or emotional mastery. So that can
(17:36):
be part of what can help you. And some of
you may like to draw or do art. Some of
you may need to move like their size. I have
had clients that need to go to the gym when
they don't go to the gym, because when they go
to the gym, they're releasing any anger or stress or frustration,
(17:58):
or or maybe I have clients that go running or walking,
moving your body. And so I invite you to think
about what it is you can do in the mornings
and even maybe set up a morning routine that will
support you in being able to start your day in
(18:19):
a spiritual way or in a way that really helps
you calm yourself down. Distresses you, you want to destress,
and the more that you are able to distress and
connect to the deeper you. And when I talk about
the deeper you, I'm talking about that higher aspects, like
(18:43):
your higher self, this wise unconditionally loving part of you
that you can call upon, or you can call upon
your soul, and so being able to make that connection
to the deeper you, you can also all upon your
spiritual support team. And even if you don't know the
(19:05):
exact names of all the beings on your spiritual support team,
they can help you and support you when you need it. So, definitely, definitely,
so all of these are pieces that can help you
to be able to keep ongoing as you move through,
(19:29):
as you change, as you are able to get back
into that place of center and calm, being able to
support you in moving forward so that you can get
to that place of emotional management. Emotional regulation really important.
(19:50):
So I want to talk to you a little bit
about other parts of emotional intelligence. And this what I'm
going to share with you is something that came from
a blog from thinkpsych dot com and it's the five
Components of Emotional Intelligence. And the author is Aria Palma
(20:17):
from April twenty twenty one. And I loved because I
talked about three or different components of emotional intelligence, but
I like when she talked about these five, and so
I'm just going to bring you all back to these
five aspects of emotional intelligence. You have the self awareness.
(20:42):
Self awareness is the first part is being able to
be aware, what is the emotion that you're feeling, what
is your your what are you noticing? What are you
noticing in your body? What do you thinking, what are
you're feeling? All of that is part of self awareness.
(21:05):
And the more you can become self aware, the more
you gain emotional intelligence emotional mastery, because in order for
you to shift out of where you are, you need
to recognize and become aware that you what you're feeling.
(21:28):
So having excuse me, having that awareness that self awareness
is really key and really crucial. And then after that
you have self regulation. Now I talked a lot about
what like using the tools. So once you have the awareness,
(21:50):
oh I'm feeling anger, or I'm feeling frustrated, or I'm
feeling sad, or I'm feeling really stressed right now, or
I'm feeling anger. Once you have the awareness, then you
can take an action and you do your self regulation.
So it's and what happens with this self regulation is
(22:12):
you're able to manage your behaviors. So, for example, let's
say you are noticing you're in a situation with someone
in your life, and whether it's a friend or a
romantic partner, or a spouse, and or it's someone at
(22:32):
work or a client or in your business. You notice, oh,
I'm feeling angry or I got really triggered and one
of the things. And it's really important, very important to
learn how to regulate those emotions so you don't act out.
(22:53):
And I'll give you an example. So Emma, one of
my clients, she had on to a doctor and she
went to this doctor and the doctor she was getting
she was being tested and she has anxiety. And she
went to the doctor has the anxiety and the doctor
(23:14):
was trying to give her a test. Now, she has
always I'll get to your comment, Misty, thank you. She
has always had the anxiety about tests and taking tests
and what ends up happening for her. She is shut
down now. Yes, she's worked on it, and sometimes depending
(23:39):
on how much her anxiety, because sometimes I mean she's
able to do tests. In this case, in this particular instance,
she wasn't able to. And she laughed a nervous laugh.
And then what happened was the doctor reacted in anger
and he said things and he did you know, he
(24:01):
upset a lot, and he behaved in a way that
was really unprofessional. And so Emma said, I'm never going
back to that doctor. And that's really an example of
what happened in behaviors where you want to be able
to use emotional regulation and emotional management to be able
(24:25):
to handle your behaviors so that you're in your back
in control. Now, Yes, it takes work, it takes time,
but it's worth it. It's worth it to have that
emotional regulation. And if you notice that you're getting triggered
and you're not sure, what I always say with my clients,
(24:49):
and I know I've talked about this on the show before.
What I always say is take a time, do not engage.
If you're upset, you're angry, you're frustra traded, you're sad,
you're scared, whatever it is, you don't want to behave
in a way that you later regret. So remove yourself
(25:09):
somehow from the situation. So let's get to Misty's question
or comment. So Misty says it works best if you
have a grip on your emotions. Yes, I'll get to
I'll get to Anastasia's in a secon. So, yes, it
does work best when you have a grip. And here's
(25:32):
the thing. What the most important thing is is learning.
Is being in the learning. You listening to the show,
you watching the show. You you're you're inspired and hopefully
empowered to be able to make the changes in your
life so that you don't have to react. That you
(25:52):
can choose, because when you're a choice, that empowers you
to respond instead of reacting. And that is emotional intelligence.
So when you respond with a behavior, and that can
include to try out for yourself if you need to,
(26:13):
so that you don't react in a way that you
later regret. We're using tools to calm yourself down so
that you can interact with the person whatever works. So yes,
it's important that you do have a grip on your
emotions and that you learn to have a grip on
your emotions. Thank you. Missing Anastasia says, asks did she
(26:39):
or was she able to take an action on the
doctor's behavior. So what happened was when that situation happened
and the doctor reacted, it didn't help her respond. She
reacted and it was an uncomfortable situation for her. She
(27:00):
did not have a good time of that doctors and
she couldn't wait to get out of there, and she's
never going back. So she well the way the way
she needed to. What happened for her was she made
a decision that she doesn't want to go back. But
that was an example of you know, when you're working
(27:22):
in your business or when you're at work, you want
to learn how to be able to You want to
be able to to tot, You want to be able
to take an action that supports you after the fact.
(27:43):
Did she report him, No, she didn't report him. She's
chosen not to. But she like she made a decision
that she's not he's not a doctor, she wants to
go back, so he dealt with it. And so another
aspect of the five ways of components of emotional intelligence
(28:07):
that Aria talks about is empathy empathy. So it's learning
to be able when you have empathy, and this is
important especially in your relationships with others. You are being
able to empathize with somebody, to be able to relate
(28:29):
to how they're feeling and what's going on for them.
Like for example, let's go back to the example I
just said, the doctor and he knows that she has anxiety.
He knew that she has this issue with anxiety, but
he wasn't empathizing with her. He was reacting from his stuff,
(28:50):
and instead of empathizing, he ended up acting out his behavior.
And so having empathy is really important whether you're working
with a client, whether you're dealing with a friend or
a spouse or a loved one, having that empathy changes
(29:11):
relationships for the better. Now, if you're what I call
an EmPATH, where you actually take and this is different
than empathy, Empathy is being able to get a sense
or to feel what another person is feeling so that
you can relate to them better. An EmPATH actually can
(29:33):
take on the feelings of other people, which actually is
not good for the EmPATH, and so learning to be
able to set your boundaries and not take on other
people's emotions. And yet, Bob, empathy is really important, so
(29:53):
hopefully I made that clear, so an EmPATH will take on.
So if you've ever been feeling fine or you're in
a good mood, and then you walk into a room
or you're relating to somebody who's really upset, really angry,
or really scared, and all of a sudden, you notice,
all of a sudden, you're feeling angry or you're feeling scared,
(30:15):
and you were feeling fine before, you probably were taking
on that feeling. And so it's going to be important
to use your tools to release that energy. So Misty says,
you need to know when to dump the empathy so
it doesn't hinder you. So it's not dumping the empathy,
(30:37):
it's being able to let go of other people's emotion
that can hinder you. I always support empathy because empathy
is a powerful duel in relationships, really important, and yet
you don't want to be taking on other people's feelings,
(30:59):
So there's boundaries there, and it's being able when you notice,
and this is the self awareness piece. When you notice
that maybe you've taken on somebody else's feelings, you can
ask to release that energy, give it that so that
you don't That is what I meant, the feelings you
absorb from others. Yes, okay, thank you for clarifying this state.
(31:23):
All right, good, because here's the thing. You don't want
to be taken on other people's feelings because it will
end to you and it's not good for you. And
it's important that you let go of that. You let
go of those other feelings, and you can ask, you
can debreathe, you can ask your guides and angels help
me release any energy I might have taken on from
(31:45):
anybody else. Read let out that emotion. Intend that you
release those other emotions so that you are clear. You
are clear. Okay, So now I want to invite you.
Another tool that you can use use is the meditation
(32:06):
that I have, the clearing and centering meditation. So it's
being able to clear your energy and then be able
to call in and connect with your higher self and
then being able to tap into your step or what's
next for you. And the meditation is inspired go to
(32:30):
this link Inspired and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash
Meditation med I A T I O N. So it's
the name of the show dot Com Inspired and Empowered
Living dot com Forward slash Meditation and Rebels put it
(32:55):
in the chat as well, and I invite you to
download the meditation and to help you with emotional regulation
and management. It can help and support you, so you
definitely want to be using that. And the other thing
that I want to support all of you in doing
is when you are in that state, and this is
(33:18):
also how the meditation can help you. It can help
you make a decision because you want healthy decision making.
That's also part of emotional re mastery. I love that
all part of emotional intelligence and finally having those social
skills and being able to relate to others so you
(33:38):
make a positive influence on other people and you really
want that that will make a difference in your life
and in others. So, and then the other thing that
I want to support you all in knowing the number
one number one thing that will keep you keep you
(34:00):
from having a wife you love, creating harmony and having
what you want in your life. Number one issue challenge
mistake is not dealing with your reactions. So if you're noticing,
and this is where that awareness comes in, all of
a sudden you notice. You could be at a party,
(34:23):
you could be at work, you could be at home,
and all of a sudden, you could be reacting. You
could be reacting to something on TV. You could be
reacting to something your partner said, or one of your kids,
whether they're young or adult, you could be reacting. And
when you react, then if you are not allowing yourself
(34:47):
to move through the steps of that emotional regulation emotional
intelligence of being able to be aware what are you feeling,
and being able to take the steps of what you
need to do, then you may end up having situations
(35:09):
in your life and in your relationships that would really
harm you or not be beneficial. And in order to
create and inspired an empowered life, a life you really love,
a business you love, you want to find that emotional
way and also the tools, the tools that work for you,
(35:31):
because I named a few so to review. You want
to have the self awareness, being able to really discover
what it is you're feeling, to be able to acknowledge it,
and then once you acknowledge it, once you realize it,
once you know it then you can take an action
(35:55):
to be able to shift your energy. So you may
do maybe you'll do the meditation, and also know there's
a PDAF along with the meditation, so you can do
a meditation, You could do a prayer, you could do
the journaling, you can do the breathing which you take
(36:15):
with you wherever you go. You're along stack. Thank you
for those lungs of yours. Know that you have the
tools that can help you get back into a state
of alignment of centeredness. And the tool that I want
(36:35):
to support you in that I came up with today
was the one when you're in a calm state. Hopefully
you start your day in a calm way and then
you let a word come to you, ask your yourself,
by yourself, what's the word? The word? Maybe it's the
word for the day, or maybe it's a word you
(36:56):
need to keep saying every day. So it could be peace,
it could be stillness, could be loved, it could be joy.
So whatever your word is, use your word to help
you get back into a comma state. And then you
want to be able to not act on those behaviors,
(37:17):
but be in a comma state, so then you can
communicate in a healthy way. And if you discover that
you've taken on other people's emotions, you want to make
sure that you release those emotions so that you can
come back to your center. And all of those are
ways for you to really help you have the emotional
(37:40):
intelligence that will change your life, your work, your business
on every level. And so join us next week for
more inspired and empowered living. And we are live Thursdays
at five pm Eastern on Talk for TVWN talkfor TV
(38:04):
dot com, W four WN dot com, my YouTube channel,
and I invite you to come live so that you
can ask your questions in the chat. Thank you all
for your participation today. I'm always grateful for that, and
I also invite you to ask your questions at a
(38:26):
later time as well on my YouTube channel tad me
and I look forward to connecting with you more so.
And also know that we had the podcast on iHeartRadio,
Spotify and Dora, Apple, Amazon and many more. And I
(38:47):
wish you an inspired and empowered evening day wherever you
are in the world, and an inspired and empowered we
have a great one everybody buy.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
For the contests. Doctors
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. We are live on Thursday, five
pm Eastern on Top four TV dot com, W four
WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today we
(01:11):
will be continuing to talk about emotional intelligence, mastering emotions,
mastering life. The power of emotional intelligence are three and
when you have emotional intelligence, it is a game changer
(01:33):
personally and professionally, and it's one of the most important
keys to creating an inspired and empowered life. And today
you'll discover the three core principles of emotional intelligence, and
how emotional intelligence transforms your relationship, your career, and your wellbeing.
(01:55):
And the number one mistake that can block you and
block your path to a life you love, and how
to avoid it. Together, let's create a life you love.
I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch, licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist,
and intuitive business expert. I can buy my counseling, coaching,
(02:19):
and intuitive abilities to transform your life and your business
and or. This show is not a replacement for therapy
or counseling. It is for educational purposes only. So let's
review for those of you who may just be tuning in,
(02:40):
let's review what is emotional intelligence? And so emotional intelligence
is it's I was talking about this emotional mastery. It's
being able to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions
(03:02):
and then to recognize, understand and positively influence the emotions
of others. And when we talk about emotional mastery, it's
learning how to be able to come back into what
we call regulation, emotional regulation where you're able to go
(03:27):
from reacting to a person, a place, a situation, or
something that's going on and being able to come back
into alignment. And so it's not about suppressing or denying
your emotion, but it's about asking what am I really
feeling and then asking yourself once you get in touch
(03:50):
with the feeling, being able to acknowledge it in a
healthy way. And I'm always talking about not acting on
your feelings where you're heard yourself, someone else, or the environment,
but acknowledging the feeling and then being able to take
action on it in a healthy way. So, and you
(04:12):
may wonder what's the difference between emotional intelligence and IQ,
intelligence intelligence quotions. So intelligence actually actually is measured by
what your intellect and what you know and your knowledge.
(04:35):
Emotional intelligence is being able to manage and to regulate.
And we're going to talk more about your emotions to
be able to help you to transform yourself and your
life by having emotional mastery and emotional intelligence. And we
(04:56):
have a common Anastagia said, could be a wonder? So, Anastasia,
what I would love to hear from you? Can you
explain more what you mean by could be a want
or wonder? So, because I definitely want to understand more
about what your question or comment is. So I look
(05:18):
forward to hearing more about what you mean by could
be a wonder. And So IQ and emotions, Okay, IQ
and emotions, So IQ and emotions, Like IQ is your intelligence,
and then emotions is your emotional EQ. It's actually called
(05:44):
the EQ, your emotional quotient as opposed to IQ. So okay, So,
and when you are in the energy, let's talk about
the energy of wondering. Wondering wondering what are you feeling,
how are you feeling, what action you can take to
(06:05):
help you to get back to emotional regulation. And I'm
going to be talking a little bit more about that
very shortly. So let's talk about what why does emotional
intelligence even matter, like how it really makes a difference.
(06:27):
First of all, how you handle your stress emotional intelligence.
When you learn to handle your stress and you learn
to regulate your emotionals, you have learned more how to
have emotional mastery emotional regulation, and it really does affect
(06:49):
how you handle stress because if you are reacting to stress,
and I know I talked about the stress reaction in
the first segment of this. When you handle stress and
you're in one fight, flight or freeze, you will definitely
be reactive. And so learning to be able to calm
(07:13):
down and get into a place of breathing and relaxing
and alignment will make a huge difference. And then the
other thing that happens with emotional intelligence is it affects
how you are at your job or in your business.
(07:34):
It helps you or it affects you how you are
as a leader, how you run your business, how you
it relate to people in your work. Whatever your work is,
whether you're working at a job or you have your
own business, it's really important. Emotional intelligence is the difference
(08:00):
between being able to be a successful business owner or
successful in your career or successful in your job as
compared to someone who doesn't have emotional intelligence and really
is not good at relationships and really has challenges with it.
(08:23):
So that's how powerful emotional intelligence is. And then when
you strengthen your relationships and you are clear in your communication,
and what happens is as you are able to keel
and relax and release the emotions once you discover and
(08:47):
acknowledge them, then you can clearly communicate your emotions so
that it can strengthen your relationships. And strengthening your relationship
is the key to an empowered and inspired, an empowered life.
We all need relationships, good relationships, healthy relationships. And the
(09:11):
healthier you are in your emotional in your emotions and
regulating your emotions and having emotional mastery, the better your
relationships and the better you're able to manage your relationships.
So all of it is really powerful tools. So I
(09:32):
talked about being able to what do you do? What
do you do to get back to emotional intelligence and
be able to be in that place where when you're reacting,
what can you do to calm yourself down. Now we
(09:56):
had talked about earlier, what as I remember the question
or their request Atastasia to ask about breathing. So let's
talk a little bit about breathing again. Because breathing is
something you could do anywhere, and it depends on how
But once you start taking deeper breadths, when you get stressed,
(10:19):
when you are in an emotional reaction, So when you
get triggered, and you get triggered, what I mean by
triggered is you are reacting. You are reacting to a person,
a situation in your life, or something that's happening in
the world. I during my work, I deal with my
(10:40):
clients that they're reacting to things that are going on
in the world. They're reacting to things that are going
on in their business, so things that are happening to
people around them. And the more that you can come
back to center and where you can use your breath
(11:01):
for all of it, you can use your breath to
help you come back to emotional regulation and alignment. So
breathing and I talk a lot about belly breathing, and
I'll give you an example. So the best way that
I like to talk about belly breathing is putting your
(11:22):
hand on your belly so that you can watch your
belly rise and fall, and you know if you're helping yourself,
because what happens is when your belly rises, your diaphragm
it's really diaphragm breathing, and your diaphragm goes up and
then your diaphragm goes down. So when you breathe in,
(11:45):
your belly should go up, and when you breathe out,
your belly goes down, and your diaphragm is like a balloon.
So you want to fill it up with all this
fresh air like quite specially like if you're outside or
that really calms and supports you. So breathe belly up,
(12:05):
breathing in and breathing out, belly down, breathing in belly
up and breathing out billy down. So that's one tool
that you can use anywhere, anytime, So definitely want to
support you in doing that. Then other tools I've talked
(12:28):
about journaling and being able to journal, allowing yourself to
journal and write, write it out, write out whatever, you're feeling.
Like if you have a situation that has come up
in your life and you are not sure what to do,
(12:48):
or you're feeling very reactive about it, I would start
journaling about it and just writing and writing and writing. Now,
I've talked about Julia Cameron book The Artist Way, And
in the Artist Way she talks about she talks about
(13:09):
the she talks about the being able to release your thoughts,
your emotions on the paper. But three pages, for three pages,
you just write, write, rite, whatever you're feeling, what's ever
(13:30):
coming up, what'sever going on, and just doing that for
at least three pages, and by the end of the
three pages, you have released hopefully you release the energy
and you can then move on. Now, very often she
(13:51):
calls it the morning pages. So when you wake up
in the morning and you need to clear and feel
because I'm always talking about starting your day in a
spiritual way, and when you start your day in a
spiritual way, I believe that helps you be able to
(14:12):
have that emotional intelligence, that emotional management to really support
you through the day. Now, if you have things and
situations come up, you may need to do some other
kinds of tools during the day, but when you start
your day in a spiritual way, and that could be meditation,
(14:35):
it could be prayer, it could be the writing, the
journaling morning pages, it could be reading inspirational reading. I
have clients that do reading and they read inspirational books,
books that fill them up so that they are then
(14:57):
just feeling so filled and it really helps. Now you're
going to be able to I am also going to
support you. And this is just something I just want
you to know. I sometimes what happens when I'm doing
the show or I'm teaching or I'm sharing, all of
(15:20):
a sudden, I get a hit, I get a like,
All of a sudden, I get like what I call
you can call it a download or you can call it,
you know, some kind of information for you to help you.
And so what I am going to all support you
in doing is to create a word. Create a word
(15:42):
that brings you into a centered state, that brings you
excuse me, that brings you into alignment. And so perhaps
the word for you would be peace, learning peace, to
saying peace. And what I support you do is in
(16:05):
the morning, when you have calmed yourself, whether you're doing
the morning Pages, or you've meditated or Another thing that
I also want to support you in doing is moving, exercising, dancing,
anything or listening to music, anything that helps you move
(16:25):
the energy through your body. Breathing like I was talking about,
can help you come back to center. And when you're
in that place of quietnessness and center and peace, think
of a word and it could be something that inspires you.
Maybe it's flowers, maybe it's the beach or a beautiful
(16:49):
still lake, maybe it's and you may visualize it in
your mind and you want to feel it in your body.
What that image bring to you or you feel it?
How does it feel? Do you feel the peace? Maybe
(17:10):
the word is stillness, Maybe the word is breathed, Maybe
the word is love or joy. So I invite you
to discover your word, the word that you can use
throughout the day to bring you back to a place
of quietness or peace or emotional mastery. So that can
(17:36):
be part of what can help you. And some of
you may like to draw or do art. Some of
you may need to move like their size. I have
had clients that need to go to the gym when
they don't go to the gym, because when they go
to the gym, they're releasing any anger or stress or frustration,
(17:58):
or or maybe I have clients that go running or walking,
moving your body. And so I invite you to think
about what it is you can do in the mornings
and even maybe set up a morning routine that will
support you in being able to start your day in
(18:19):
a spiritual way or in a way that really helps
you calm yourself down. Distresses you, you want to destress,
and the more that you are able to distress and
connect to the deeper you. And when I talk about
the deeper you, I'm talking about that higher aspects, like
(18:43):
your higher self, this wise unconditionally loving part of you
that you can call upon, or you can call upon
your soul, and so being able to make that connection
to the deeper you, you can also all upon your
spiritual support team. And even if you don't know the
(19:05):
exact names of all the beings on your spiritual support team,
they can help you and support you when you need it. So, definitely, definitely,
so all of these are pieces that can help you
to be able to keep ongoing as you move through,
(19:29):
as you change, as you are able to get back
into that place of center and calm, being able to
support you in moving forward so that you can get
to that place of emotional management. Emotional regulation really important.
(19:50):
So I want to talk to you a little bit
about other parts of emotional intelligence. And this what I'm
going to share with you is something that came from
a blog from thinkpsych dot com and it's the five
Components of Emotional Intelligence. And the author is Aria Palma
(20:17):
from April twenty twenty one. And I loved because I
talked about three or different components of emotional intelligence, but
I like when she talked about these five, and so
I'm just going to bring you all back to these
five aspects of emotional intelligence. You have the self awareness.
(20:42):
Self awareness is the first part is being able to
be aware, what is the emotion that you're feeling, what
is your your what are you noticing? What are you
noticing in your body? What do you thinking, what are
you're feeling? All of that is part of self awareness.
(21:05):
And the more you can become self aware, the more
you gain emotional intelligence emotional mastery, because in order for
you to shift out of where you are, you need
to recognize and become aware that you what you're feeling.
(21:28):
So having excuse me, having that awareness that self awareness
is really key and really crucial. And then after that
you have self regulation. Now I talked a lot about
what like using the tools. So once you have the awareness,
(21:50):
oh I'm feeling anger, or I'm feeling frustrated, or I'm
feeling sad, or I'm feeling really stressed right now, or
I'm feeling anger. Once you have the awareness, then you
can take an action and you do your self regulation.
So it's and what happens with this self regulation is
(22:12):
you're able to manage your behaviors. So, for example, let's
say you are noticing you're in a situation with someone
in your life, and whether it's a friend or a
romantic partner, or a spouse, and or it's someone at
(22:32):
work or a client or in your business. You notice, oh,
I'm feeling angry or I got really triggered and one
of the things. And it's really important, very important to
learn how to regulate those emotions so you don't act out.
(22:53):
And I'll give you an example. So Emma, one of
my clients, she had on to a doctor and she
went to this doctor and the doctor she was getting
she was being tested and she has anxiety. And she
went to the doctor has the anxiety and the doctor
(23:14):
was trying to give her a test. Now, she has
always I'll get to your comment, Misty, thank you. She
has always had the anxiety about tests and taking tests
and what ends up happening for her. She is shut
down now. Yes, she's worked on it, and sometimes depending
(23:39):
on how much her anxiety, because sometimes I mean she's
able to do tests. In this case, in this particular instance,
she wasn't able to. And she laughed a nervous laugh.
And then what happened was the doctor reacted in anger
and he said things and he did you know, he
(24:01):
upset a lot, and he behaved in a way that
was really unprofessional. And so Emma said, I'm never going
back to that doctor. And that's really an example of
what happened in behaviors where you want to be able
to use emotional regulation and emotional management to be able
(24:25):
to handle your behaviors so that you're in your back
in control. Now, Yes, it takes work, it takes time,
but it's worth it. It's worth it to have that
emotional regulation. And if you notice that you're getting triggered
and you're not sure, what I always say with my clients,
(24:49):
and I know I've talked about this on the show before.
What I always say is take a time, do not engage.
If you're upset, you're angry, you're frustra traded, you're sad,
you're scared, whatever it is, you don't want to behave
in a way that you later regret. So remove yourself
(25:09):
somehow from the situation. So let's get to Misty's question
or comment. So Misty says it works best if you
have a grip on your emotions. Yes, I'll get to
I'll get to Anastasia's in a secon. So, yes, it
does work best when you have a grip. And here's
(25:32):
the thing. What the most important thing is is learning.
Is being in the learning. You listening to the show,
you watching the show. You you're you're inspired and hopefully
empowered to be able to make the changes in your
life so that you don't have to react. That you
(25:52):
can choose, because when you're a choice, that empowers you
to respond instead of reacting. And that is emotional intelligence.
So when you respond with a behavior, and that can
include to try out for yourself if you need to,
(26:13):
so that you don't react in a way that you
later regret. We're using tools to calm yourself down so
that you can interact with the person whatever works. So yes,
it's important that you do have a grip on your
emotions and that you learn to have a grip on
your emotions. Thank you. Missing Anastasia says, asks did she
(26:39):
or was she able to take an action on the
doctor's behavior. So what happened was when that situation happened
and the doctor reacted, it didn't help her respond. She
reacted and it was an uncomfortable situation for her. She
(27:00):
did not have a good time of that doctors and
she couldn't wait to get out of there, and she's
never going back. So she well the way the way
she needed to. What happened for her was she made
a decision that she doesn't want to go back. But
that was an example of you know, when you're working
(27:22):
in your business or when you're at work, you want
to learn how to be able to You want to
be able to to tot, You want to be able
to take an action that supports you after the fact.
(27:43):
Did she report him, No, she didn't report him. She's
chosen not to. But she like she made a decision
that she's not he's not a doctor, she wants to
go back, so he dealt with it. And so another
aspect of the five ways of components of emotional intelligence
(28:07):
that Aria talks about is empathy empathy. So it's learning
to be able when you have empathy, and this is
important especially in your relationships with others. You are being
able to empathize with somebody, to be able to relate
(28:29):
to how they're feeling and what's going on for them.
Like for example, let's go back to the example I
just said, the doctor and he knows that she has anxiety.
He knew that she has this issue with anxiety, but
he wasn't empathizing with her. He was reacting from his stuff,
(28:50):
and instead of empathizing, he ended up acting out his behavior.
And so having empathy is really important whether you're working
with a client, whether you're dealing with a friend or
a spouse or a loved one, having that empathy changes
(29:11):
relationships for the better. Now, if you're what I call
an EmPATH, where you actually take and this is different
than empathy, Empathy is being able to get a sense
or to feel what another person is feeling so that
you can relate to them better. An EmPATH actually can
(29:33):
take on the feelings of other people, which actually is
not good for the EmPATH, and so learning to be
able to set your boundaries and not take on other
people's emotions. And yet, Bob, empathy is really important, so
(29:53):
hopefully I made that clear, so an EmPATH will take on.
So if you've ever been feeling fine or you're in
a good mood, and then you walk into a room
or you're relating to somebody who's really upset, really angry,
or really scared, and all of a sudden, you notice,
all of a sudden, you're feeling angry or you're feeling scared,
(30:15):
and you were feeling fine before, you probably were taking
on that feeling. And so it's going to be important
to use your tools to release that energy. So Misty says,
you need to know when to dump the empathy so
it doesn't hinder you. So it's not dumping the empathy,
(30:37):
it's being able to let go of other people's emotion
that can hinder you. I always support empathy because empathy
is a powerful duel in relationships, really important, and yet
you don't want to be taking on other people's feelings,
(30:59):
So there's boundaries there, and it's being able when you notice,
and this is the self awareness piece. When you notice
that maybe you've taken on somebody else's feelings, you can
ask to release that energy, give it that so that
you don't That is what I meant, the feelings you
absorb from others. Yes, okay, thank you for clarifying this state.
(31:23):
All right, good, because here's the thing. You don't want
to be taken on other people's feelings because it will
end to you and it's not good for you. And
it's important that you let go of that. You let
go of those other feelings, and you can ask, you
can debreathe, you can ask your guides and angels help
me release any energy I might have taken on from
(31:45):
anybody else. Read let out that emotion. Intend that you
release those other emotions so that you are clear. You
are clear. Okay, So now I want to invite you.
Another tool that you can use use is the meditation
(32:06):
that I have, the clearing and centering meditation. So it's
being able to clear your energy and then be able
to call in and connect with your higher self and
then being able to tap into your step or what's
next for you. And the meditation is inspired go to
(32:30):
this link Inspired and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash
Meditation med I A T I O N. So it's
the name of the show dot Com Inspired and Empowered
Living dot com Forward slash Meditation and Rebels put it
(32:55):
in the chat as well, and I invite you to
download the meditation and to help you with emotional regulation
and management. It can help and support you, so you
definitely want to be using that. And the other thing
that I want to support all of you in doing
is when you are in that state, and this is
(33:18):
also how the meditation can help you. It can help
you make a decision because you want healthy decision making.
That's also part of emotional re mastery. I love that
all part of emotional intelligence and finally having those social
skills and being able to relate to others so you
(33:38):
make a positive influence on other people and you really
want that that will make a difference in your life
and in others. So, and then the other thing that
I want to support you all in knowing the number
one number one thing that will keep you keep you
(34:00):
from having a wife you love, creating harmony and having
what you want in your life. Number one issue challenge
mistake is not dealing with your reactions. So if you're noticing,
and this is where that awareness comes in, all of
a sudden you notice. You could be at a party,
(34:23):
you could be at work, you could be at home,
and all of a sudden, you could be reacting. You
could be reacting to something on TV. You could be
reacting to something your partner said, or one of your kids,
whether they're young or adult, you could be reacting. And
when you react, then if you are not allowing yourself
(34:47):
to move through the steps of that emotional regulation emotional
intelligence of being able to be aware what are you feeling,
and being able to take the steps of what you
need to do, then you may end up having situations
(35:09):
in your life and in your relationships that would really
harm you or not be beneficial. And in order to
create and inspired an empowered life, a life you really love,
a business you love, you want to find that emotional
way and also the tools, the tools that work for you,
(35:31):
because I named a few so to review. You want
to have the self awareness, being able to really discover
what it is you're feeling, to be able to acknowledge it,
and then once you acknowledge it, once you realize it,
once you know it then you can take an action
(35:55):
to be able to shift your energy. So you may
do maybe you'll do the meditation, and also know there's
a PDAF along with the meditation, so you can do
a meditation, You could do a prayer, you could do
the journaling, you can do the breathing which you take
(36:15):
with you wherever you go. You're along stack. Thank you
for those lungs of yours. Know that you have the
tools that can help you get back into a state
of alignment of centeredness. And the tool that I want
(36:35):
to support you in that I came up with today
was the one when you're in a calm state. Hopefully
you start your day in a calm way and then
you let a word come to you, ask your yourself,
by yourself, what's the word? The word? Maybe it's the
word for the day, or maybe it's a word you
(36:56):
need to keep saying every day. So it could be peace,
it could be stillness, could be loved, it could be joy.
So whatever your word is, use your word to help
you get back into a comma state. And then you
want to be able to not act on those behaviors,
(37:17):
but be in a comma state, so then you can
communicate in a healthy way. And if you discover that
you've taken on other people's emotions, you want to make
sure that you release those emotions so that you can
come back to your center. And all of those are
ways for you to really help you have the emotional
(37:40):
intelligence that will change your life, your work, your business
on every level. And so join us next week for
more inspired and empowered living. And we are live Thursdays
at five pm Eastern on Talk for TVWN talkfor TV
(38:04):
dot com, W four WN dot com, my YouTube channel,
and I invite you to come live so that you
can ask your questions in the chat. Thank you all
for your participation today. I'm always grateful for that, and
I also invite you to ask your questions at a
(38:26):
later time as well on my YouTube channel tad me
and I look forward to connecting with you more so.
And also know that we had the podcast on iHeartRadio,
Spotify and Dora, Apple, Amazon and many more. And I
(38:47):
wish you an inspired and empowered evening day wherever you
are in the world, and an inspired and empowered we
have a great one everybody buy.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
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