November 28, 2023 • 46 mins
Continuing where we left off last week … Are there some people in your life that you are not looking forward to seeing during the holidays? Find out how to manage your relationship stress and live an inspired and empowered life!
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(00:00):
Any health related information on the followingshow provides general information only. Content presented
on any show by any host orguests should not be substituted for a doctor's
advice. Always consult your physician beforebeginning any new diet, exercise, or
treatment program. Hello everyone, andwelcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living TV
(00:58):
show and podcast. We are liveTuesday mornings at eleven am Eastern on TOPFO
TV dot com, W four WNdot com and my YouTube channel. Today
we will be talking about reducing HolidaysStress, Part two and will continue where
(01:23):
we left off last week. Arethere some people that you are just not
looking forward to seeing and that theycause more stress for you during the holidays?
And I see we have Ali inthe house. Good morning. Find
out how to manage your relationship stressand live to live and inspired and empowered
(01:49):
life. And you're going to learnthree principles of how to boost your self
care during the holiday season, howto deal more effectively with difficult people,
and discover the number one mistake thatwould keep you from having healthier relationships.
(02:10):
Together, let's create a life youlove and I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch,
Certified hypno Therapist, licensed Clinical Socialworker and intuitive coach, and I
combine my counseling, coaching and intuitiveskills to transform your life. This show
(02:37):
is not a replacement for therapy orcounseling. It is for educational purposes only.
So I want to invite any ofthose, any of you who are
in the in the chat this MorningLive, if you want to share with
(02:59):
me, because I would really loveto hear how your Thanksgiving when and if
you were able to use any ofthe things that we talked about on last
week's show. Now, last week, what we were talking about is really
being conscious and being aware of whathappens when you get triggered. And you
(03:23):
get triggered once you have like anemotional reaction. So if you're having an
emotional reaction to someone or the holidaysas a whole or something, then what
it's really important first to become awareof it and then to remind yourself to
(03:46):
take some actions so that you canthen help yourself not go into that state
or do or say something you wouldlike regret. So I hear, okay,
so Country Corners Gazette High, whatif the oh oh, what if
(04:10):
the difficult people live with you?All right? We will definitely go more
into that shortly. Okay, soCountry Corners Gazette to keep stay tuned.
And then Misty says, you shoulddo a show on why people lie in
a relationship. Okay, that's definitelyan interesting idea. You know, I
(04:42):
am going to tell you we actuallydid, but we can revisit it if
it's something that you want. Whenbecause to me, lying very often is
it's a self sabotaging behavior. Andit may not team like a self sabotaging
behavior, but it really hurts youin the end because on some level you
(05:12):
know that you're not being honest andyou can get caught in a lie and
then you have to do clean upand it may be messier. So definitely
the show that we did before wasthe self sabotaging behaviors, so like lying
or cheating or other behaviors like that, maybe we can do something along those
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lines. I don't know how thatwould be to do those kinds of behaviors
why people do those kinds of thingsin relationships And let me know if that
would appeal to you. And so, so last week we were talking about
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being more conscious and really focusing onbeing more conscious so that when you get
triggered in a reaction, you cantake a few deep breaths or do the
things that you need to do tostart calming yourself down so that you can
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choose a response. Now, letme do my quick psych one on one,
so just in case somebody's just tuningin, either live or at a
later time, just the psych oneon one is your conscious mind is the
part of you that's tuning in orthose of you who are alive and in
(06:47):
the chat asking questions. And Ireally want to thank that conscious mind of
your yours for making a choice totune in. So thank you, And
I see the the question, justcome in and I will get to it
shortly. So I want to thankyou for tuning in and using that amazing
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conscious mind of yours that empowers youto make changes in your life, that
empowers you to make healthy, consciousdecisions. So, and the reason why
I say that healthy conscious decisions isbecause you make choices to respond rather than
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react. Now, when you're inreaction, you're actually coming from your subconscious
mind, and that that part ofyou is from the moment you will conceived
to present time. It has recordedevery moment you have been alive, including
(07:55):
in utero and everything recorded in thesubconscious mind, including ancestral trauma and resources
and past life resources and trauma,and so all of that is in your
subconscious mind. And when you comefrom a place of reaction and know that
(08:18):
you make decisions, you can makea lot of decisions from your subconscious mind
when you're in reaction mode, andyou may not even be aware of it.
That's why I was talking so muchlast week about conscious awareness. And
if you want to catch last week'sshow, definitely go back to You can
(08:41):
go to YouTube, or if youwant to listen to the podcast, you
can go on iHeart or Spotify,Pandora Apple, any of those for the
podcast last week. So the thingis, you want to make sure that
you are are working on coming fromyour conscious mind rather than your subconscious Your
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subconscious mind is the part that reacts, that gets triggered, that goes into
that emotional reaction like anger, fear, in shame, guilt, any of
those emotions, even grief when youhave a reaction to something that has happened
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or a person that you are reactingto, and all of that is coming
from the subconscious mind. Your superconscious mind is that part of you what
I call it your higher self.These that hot, wise, unconditionally loving
part of your soul, the universe, God, all of that energy or
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angels, your guides, all ofthat is part of your super conscious mind.
And you want to be able tocome into alignment of the three minds
conscious, subconscious and super conscious forthe most powerful, inspired and empowered living.
So that's really what you want towork on moving towards. And it
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is a journey and a process.It's not something that boom, yes,
snap your fingers and all of asudden it's done. Sometimes I wish that
was so, But there's a reasonwhy there is process and journey so that
we can learn. Earth is ourschoolroom, so we can learn all kinds
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of important lessons. So somebody fromCountry Corners Gazette asks, what about parents
keep trying to push their views ongrown kids. Okay, so I understand
that, really, Well, Godbless my parents, and they are in
heaven watching over me right now,and I adore them and love them.
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But I do understand that Misty saysa lifelong journey. That is true.
It is a life long journey.So true, So true, Misty,
so true. So what happens Okay, so here's here's the piece. Right,
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you are parents, God bless themalive, passed on. They're just
doing what they feel they need todo to take care of you, protect
you, help you, support you. And very often that feels like they're
trying to rule you, your puttheir views on you, trying to or
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they judge you, or trying tocontrol and manipulate you. And what I'm
going to say is it's the same. In fact, when you are reacting
to them, you are reacting fromthat earlier place, that place of that
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child's self. Usually. Now,if you're an adult and your parents are
trying to push their judgments or viewsor opinions on you, I would support
you in a healthy appropriate way tosay, you know what, thanks for
sharing and I am choosing to dothis, or you can do other things
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that you need to do to takecare of you in a healthy way.
What I will say is if youtry to confront them or fight them,
they may not hear you. Now, if you have a parent that's trying
to put their views, now,you know your parents, Okay, some
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parents can hear you, and someparents will never hear you no matter what
you say, because they have theirview, they're like, Okay, this
is what I believe, this isfor your best good, this is for
what you need to take care ofyourself, and they can't see another way,
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and so trying to fight them onit, it isn't going to help
because you're not going to change theirmind or opinion. Now, if you
have a parent who is open andwilling and more able to hear you,
then you may want to talk tothem in a healthy appropriate way and healthy
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appropriate way. When I talk aboutthat is healthy communication is when I when
you say dot dot dot dot,I feel like So, for example,
let's say they're judging you on howyou deal with your finances. When you
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keep talking to me about my finances, I get upset, I get angry,
I get hurt and I need toor I am working on my finances
and I'm doing it my way away that I need to do it.
(14:35):
Look, I know this may bewhat you feel like you're trying to help
me, But what happens is I'mgetting more upset. So hopefully that kind
of or you know, if they'retrying to tell you you should eat certain
things, or get into a healthierrelationship or leave somebody or whatever your life,
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and you need to do what youneed to do to take care of
you. Now, if there's somethings that aren't healthy, then you want
to find healthier ways. And ifyou're working on yourself, you're working on
yourself. So Country Corners Gazette.The parents. The parents always seem to
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express their opinions and views at familygatherings. Okay, yes, parents tend
to do that. Now, Idon't know if it's directed at you or
is it directed at all the kidsat the table. But here's the thing.
You can ignore. You can sayokay, you know, and you
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continue to do what you feel likeyou need to do. Now I'm making
suggestions again. You know, ifyou need to go deeper in to getting
help and support around people or help, then I think they like to put
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on a power show at family gatherings. And that's possible, that's very possible.
Is that they want to continue toshow that they are the either the
matriarchs or the patriarchs, and theymay put on a show, a power
show, and that's very very possible. And they're coming from their ego.
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And now remember remember I said toyou in the past, show as I've
said, you cannot control someone else. You can't. They're going to do
what they're going to do. Themost important thing that you can do is
to look at what's triggering you.Did they do that your whole life and
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now it's just annoying you or angeringyou, And to look at what exactly
is triggering you about it to godeeper into it for healing. And so
what happens is then they they're goingto do what they're going to do.
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However, you are going to becomeconsciously aware. And now the second,
the second step, the second waythat you can do your self care is
to work on clearing those triggers.So the way that you clear the triggers
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is when your parents are putting ontheir they're power places, or they're in
that place where they're doing that kindof behavior. You're not going to change
them. And that's why I wassaying sometimes it's not to your benefit to
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confront them. Now. I alsowant to say that I would support definitely
not to confront at a family gathering. That you want to create time and
space at a later time to havediscussions if you have the kind of parent
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that's willing and open to hearing you, if you don't, then it's not
going to be for you in yourbest interest to do or say anything because
you know that they're not going tochange now. Sometimes intuitively there may be
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something that they've never changed before,but intuitively you're getting guided Ooh, all
of a sudden, I think thatthere's a time for me to talk to
my father or my mother about this. That's why the intuition is so important,
because the intuition is coming from thehigher aspects of yourself, and they
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know things that you don't know.Maybe your parent all of a sudden is
starting to work on themselves and youdidn't even know that, and you having
a discussion with them later on.And whether it's your parent or a sibling
or another family member, you wantto save discussions for a later time when
you can really have a conversation withthe person. Confronting somebody at the family
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table will usually escalate in something thatwill not be pleasant, and you don't
really want to do that. SoCountry Corners is that I tend to excuse
myself when they start with it.You know what, that's actually what you
need to do to take care ofyou. And I really support you for
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taking care of yourself, because that'sactually healthy behavior. If you don't want
to hear it and you excuse yourself, good for you because you're doing what
you need to take care of yourselfand you don't need to be listening to
them going off, and so Iacknowledge you for that good work. So
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so you want to really connect withwhat you are to what you want to
do to help you to clear yourenergy. Now, there are two types
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of clearing. That's clearing in themoment or during the day to start the
beginning of the day. I usuallysupport people to start clearing in the beginning
of the day and to clear theirenergy through could be meditating and writing or
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like journaling, or it could beyoga or exercise, really doing anything that
will help you move the energy throughyour body to help you feel better.
So definitely want to support you whoMisty says, people tend to take sides
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if you do it at the familytable. Exactly, if you do it
at the family table, it willit ends up not being a good thing
at all. And that's why I'msaying, if you feel like you can
talk to your parents, or ifyou're getting an intuitive hit to talk to
your parents, you do it ora family member or a friend. Like
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what I'm talking about now are reallygood guidelines for any healthy relationship. So
you want to do it at alater time, set up a time and
that would be convenient for both ofyou. So now I know somebody asked,
what if the difficult people live withyou? Now, if you have
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difficult people that are living with you, a few things. One again,
you're not going to be able tocontrol them. You're not going to be
able to change them. The onlything that you can do is to keep
taking care of you, like beingable to get up if you need to.
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I don't know if that's the sameperson or if it's a different person,
but getting up and excusing yourself.If it's like a family experience,
If the people are living with you, then you need to set certain boundaries.
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And this is really for everything islearning how to This is really crucial
self care, okay, is learningto set the boundaries so that you are
doing your self care and really takinggood care of yourself with difficult people,
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whether they live with you or not. And if they live with you,
then what's going to be really importantfor you to do is to again healthy
and appropriate setting boundaries. If youreact to those difficult people in anger,
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it can escalate and it doesn't work. It's healthier to process, and this
is where the clearing comes in.We want to learn how to clear your
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information, what's coming up for you, your triggers on deeper levels, to
understand what is being triggered. Now, one of the one of like a
really big trigger for many many,many of us is not being not feeling
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heard, not feeling seen, notfeeling understood. And very often those triggers
are getting triggered, and they're noteven though they seem like their present time,
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they're really coming from the little you, the little you who is hurting
because of something or something that yourparents or loved ones or caretakers or in
school or friends or siblings. Somethinghappened and you didn't feel seen, you
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didn't feel heard, you didn't feelunderstood. And so when you don't feel
that in present time as the adult, it triggers the little you. And
so the clearing, the clearing ishelping yourself connect with that little you and
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learning to help that little you feelheard, feel loved, feel taken care
of, and especially letting that littleyou feel heard, feel seen and feel
understood. And I've worked with many, many clients and through the years.
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I'm going to give you an examplewhat happens when you work with the little
you. So I have a clientthat came to me and Tara. When
she first came to me, Tarawas feeling really angry. She was on
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the verge of a divorce. Shecouldn't stand her husband. She was so
so angry at him, and itwas like there was like nothing you could
say or do, and they wouldalways get into fights and arguments. She
just couldn't stand them. And thenwhat started happening, And this is what
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happens, what can happen when youstart clearing and healing the issues around the
difficult people in your life. Sowe started working together and Tara and I
did a lot of work working withthat little her little girl inside of her,
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and we helped that little girl feelheard and loved. Tara had a
lot of trauma growing up. Alot. Nothing she could or do or
say would matter to her mother.There was always not good enough, there
was always criticism. And so Tarawe started working because that was who Tara's
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husband was triggering her mother, andwe started working on healing those triggers,
those patterns, and what started happeningis that the anger started subsiding and she
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started looking at herself rather than lookingat him John, and so so Tara
was We kept working, and thenwhat happened was Tara made a choice.
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She had healed enough, and shesaid, I am choosing to stay with
John. I am choosing to makethis work. And they're still together and
they're growing all together. And I'mnot going to say that they don't have
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their issues still because that's life.But the relationship is different because Tara changed.
And that's the power of what canhappen when you are able to change
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and clear those patterns. That isso important for your self care because what
happens is when you clear the patterns, your life starts changing. Your relationships
can shift, and you can healon deeper levels. That's what's possible.
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And I am really excited to tellyou that I'm doing a masterclass next Wednesday.
It's called Three Keys, two Calmin these Uncertain Times. It's a
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free virtual masterclass and you can learnhow to break free from a stressed out
mindset, uncover strategies to conquer theblocks that have been holding you back from
creating more peace and calm, harnessthe power of intuition for clarity. You'll
(31:29):
discover the secrets of intuitive wisdom thatguide you towards clarity, helping you navigate
uncertainty with confidence and purpose, andlearn practical tools for daily tranquility. Learn
the skills needed to maintain a calmand centered mindset amidst life's uncertainties. And
(31:56):
So, Rebel, can you putthe link in the chat? And the
link is it's the name of theshow, Inspired and Empowered Living dot Com
Forward Slash master Class. Three Keysto Calm in these uncertain times. And
(32:22):
so I really want to invite youto join me for this free virtual masterclass.
It's Wednesday, December sixth at twelvepm Eastern and so Inspired and Empowered
Living dot Com Forward Slash master Classor one word. So really want to
(32:50):
invite you to the masterclass to learnmore keys to come because that's what I'm
all about. I want to helpyou and the confidence, the clarity and
calmness that you desire for an inspiredand empowered life. That's what it's all
about. So I really want togo over what can get triggered in you're
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in an unhealthy relationship or in yourrelationship you know it may be unhealthy or
it may not be. But allrelationships are our mirrors, and all relationships
are exciting opportunities. Even though itdoesn't feel like it believed me. I
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know that some people really are annoyingand it's really hard to deal with.
And know that as you change internally, it can change. Things can change.
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I've witnessed it in my own life, and I've witnessed it time and
again in clients' lives. Now,when you change from the inside out,
your life will change. Your lifecan change, your relationships can change,
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and that's part of moving towards aninspired and empowered life. So what happens?
You want to understand what's getting triggerednow. I talked about three common
triggers. What happens is when youhave the trigger in relationship, you're getting
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triggered and it they're triggering old wounds, They're triggering those needs, those unmeant
needs like not feeling heard, notfeeling seen, not feeling not feeling understood,
and another a few others are notfeeling good enough. Those that like
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you want you want to feel goodenough, and perhaps your parent or parents
never made you feel good enough,perhaps they never feel made you feel loved
or safe. These are common basicneeds that need healing. And there it's
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the healing of the child part,that child inside of you to help the
adult you deal with present relationships.Sounds amazing, but it is true,
and that goes for anyone, anyanytime, anything. Now, again,
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you're not going to control or changethem. They need to be willing to
change themselves. And so the mostimportant thing you can do is change your
reaction so that you can then respond. So now what needs to happen is
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those unhealthy patterns need to be cleared. And as you work your energy and
clear it, you help heal yourselfand perhaps your relationships. So now clearing
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that energy, that's really important selfcare, and then you want to make
the deeper connection to you and makingit in that deeper connection to your higher
self, your soul, your angels, your guides. And if you have
(37:21):
any questions about anything I'm saying,let me know because I want to definitely
make sure. These are important thingsin terms of being able to reduce your
stress, especially your relationship stress.And really in order to heal, you
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need to feel. So I reallywant to support you to heal when you
feel you are healing, even thoughit may not see like it. Setting
the boundaries boundaries is important, crucialself care, crucial self care, and
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that's going to be really important withthe people in your life, really important.
And so I want to support youto remember what the other people do
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and say, it's not about you. Not only can you not control it
or change them, it's not aboutyou and that is what Okay, So
I'm gonna hold that question up there. Just wait one second, okay,
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So not only can you not controlor change them, but what's really important
for you is to remember it's notabout you. It's learning to this is
about them and their behavior and theirstuff. Now you may trigger them,
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and that's a whole other thing.But I want to get to the question,
what if you are tired of feeling, can't you just walk away from
things to let it go? Okay, So I am going to say it
depends, first of all, ifyou are in constant feeling of the pain
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like anger, grief, fear,resentment, frustration, shame, guilt.
If you're in that cond state,the best way to shift that state is
(40:10):
to find something that feels peaceful orloving or joyful to you some way to
nurture you if you're in that state, it's learning to find the things that
will help you move from that statea pain or irritation to a state of
(40:37):
peace or love or joy, becausethose are the higher vibrations and your emotions.
Now, sometimes you may need tofeel like you need an emotional break,
But if you're constantly doing it,or you're turning to an addiction or
(40:59):
some kind of better behavior to stopyou from feeling, that's not going to
help you. It's not going toserve you. But I understand when you
feel you're if you're a feeler andyou're feeling a lot, and you're you're
feeling like you're on feeling overload,you want to find the ways to try
(41:21):
to calm your nervous system because what'shappening is your nervous system is on overload,
and so you want to find theways to calm your nervous system down.
So things that may work for you. Breathing, you know how,
I'm always talking about breathing your breathand belly breath, the breath, taking
(41:45):
that deep breath in, put yourhands on your belly I'll get to the
question in a second. Put yourhands on your belly and breathe and breathe,
let your belly rise. And thenwhen you breathe out, let your
(42:06):
belly fall. And breathe, letyour belly rise. When you breathe out,
let your belly fall. And youwant to focus on your breath to
calm your nervous system. See,this is really asking yourself what you can
do to calm yourself. Sometimes havingan emotional release like crying or getting angry
(42:36):
in a safe way where you're nothurting yourself or someone else, like punching
a pillow or something. Or maybeyou need to use exercise and breathe it
out. Exercise and breathe to getout anger or frustration, take a walk.
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These are all tools to clearing thatenergy from the body. And if
you just need to sit in frontof the TV for a few hours or
to do something, as long asyou're Here's the thing. I'm not saying
you need to feel all the time. There, it's learning that balance,
(43:19):
because if you're not feeling any ofthe time, that's not balanced either.
And if you're turning to destructive things, that's not helpful to you. I'm
really wanting to support you in movingtowards a healthier balance where you're feeling and
you're healing, and you're starting tofeel you're calming your nervous system down and
(43:44):
you're starting to feel healthier, andyou're starting to feel more peace or love
or joy and can come in moments, and then sometimes the moments increase.
Now I know, I know that, Misty, I know you have a
(44:05):
question that came in, and Iwant to be able. I need to
start ending the show now, soI am going to start. Ah,
okay, and I see the onethat just came in from Country Cona's gazette.
So I am going to bring thesetwo up next week when we do
the show, and we'll start theshow with your questions and your comments next
(44:32):
week, okay, because I reallywant to give time to them, and
I really want to support you allin having healthier relationships to create your inspired
and empowered life. So we'll dothis part three next week and I'll get
(44:54):
to your questions next week. Ireally want to thank you all are joining
me and asking your questions. Youcan come to my masterclass. It's a
free virtual masterclass Inspired and Empowered Livingdot com Forward Slash Masterclass and go to
(45:23):
Inspired and Empowered Living dot com ForwardSlash Masterclass and tune in next Tuesday at
eleven am Eastern on Talk for TVdot com, w fo WN dot my
(45:45):
YouTube channel and for the podcast.iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple and
Amazon and many more. And Iwish you all an inspired and empowered week
and an inspired and empowered day.Have a great one. Everybody buy for now
Any health related information on the followingshow provides general information only. Content presented
on any show by any host orguests should not be substituted for a doctor's
advice. Always consult your physician beforebeginning any new diet, exercise, or
treatment program. Hello everyone, andwelcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living TV
(00:58):
show and podcast. We are liveTuesday mornings at eleven am Eastern on TOPFO
TV dot com, W four WNdot com and my YouTube channel. Today
we will be talking about reducing HolidaysStress, Part two and will continue where
(01:23):
we left off last week. Arethere some people that you are just not
looking forward to seeing and that theycause more stress for you during the holidays?
And I see we have Ali inthe house. Good morning. Find
out how to manage your relationship stressand live to live and inspired and empowered
(01:49):
life. And you're going to learnthree principles of how to boost your self
care during the holiday season, howto deal more effectively with difficult people,
and discover the number one mistake thatwould keep you from having healthier relationships.
(02:10):
Together, let's create a life youlove and I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch,
Certified hypno Therapist, licensed Clinical Socialworker and intuitive coach, and I
combine my counseling, coaching and intuitiveskills to transform your life. This show
(02:37):
is not a replacement for therapy orcounseling. It is for educational purposes only.
So I want to invite any ofthose, any of you who are
in the in the chat this MorningLive, if you want to share with
(02:59):
me, because I would really loveto hear how your Thanksgiving when and if
you were able to use any ofthe things that we talked about on last
week's show. Now, last week, what we were talking about is really
being conscious and being aware of whathappens when you get triggered. And you
(03:23):
get triggered once you have like anemotional reaction. So if you're having an
emotional reaction to someone or the holidaysas a whole or something, then what
it's really important first to become awareof it and then to remind yourself to
(03:46):
take some actions so that you canthen help yourself not go into that state
or do or say something you wouldlike regret. So I hear, okay,
so Country Corners Gazette High, whatif the oh oh, what if
(04:10):
the difficult people live with you?All right? We will definitely go more
into that shortly. Okay, soCountry Corners Gazette to keep stay tuned.
And then Misty says, you shoulddo a show on why people lie in
a relationship. Okay, that's definitelyan interesting idea. You know, I
(04:42):
am going to tell you we actuallydid, but we can revisit it if
it's something that you want. Whenbecause to me, lying very often is
it's a self sabotaging behavior. Andit may not team like a self sabotaging
behavior, but it really hurts youin the end because on some level you
(05:12):
know that you're not being honest andyou can get caught in a lie and
then you have to do clean upand it may be messier. So definitely
the show that we did before wasthe self sabotaging behaviors, so like lying
or cheating or other behaviors like that, maybe we can do something along those
(05:38):
lines. I don't know how thatwould be to do those kinds of behaviors
why people do those kinds of thingsin relationships And let me know if that
would appeal to you. And so, so last week we were talking about
(06:00):
being more conscious and really focusing onbeing more conscious so that when you get
triggered in a reaction, you cantake a few deep breaths or do the
things that you need to do tostart calming yourself down so that you can
(06:23):
choose a response. Now, letme do my quick psych one on one,
so just in case somebody's just tuningin, either live or at a
later time, just the psych oneon one is your conscious mind is the
part of you that's tuning in orthose of you who are alive and in
(06:47):
the chat asking questions. And Ireally want to thank that conscious mind of
your yours for making a choice totune in. So thank you, And
I see the the question, justcome in and I will get to it
shortly. So I want to thankyou for tuning in and using that amazing
(07:10):
conscious mind of yours that empowers youto make changes in your life, that
empowers you to make healthy, consciousdecisions. So, and the reason why
I say that healthy conscious decisions isbecause you make choices to respond rather than
(07:31):
react. Now, when you're inreaction, you're actually coming from your subconscious
mind, and that that part ofyou is from the moment you will conceived
to present time. It has recordedevery moment you have been alive, including
(07:55):
in utero and everything recorded in thesubconscious mind, including ancestral trauma and resources
and past life resources and trauma,and so all of that is in your
subconscious mind. And when you comefrom a place of reaction and know that
(08:18):
you make decisions, you can makea lot of decisions from your subconscious mind
when you're in reaction mode, andyou may not even be aware of it.
That's why I was talking so muchlast week about conscious awareness. And
if you want to catch last week'sshow, definitely go back to You can
(08:41):
go to YouTube, or if youwant to listen to the podcast, you
can go on iHeart or Spotify,Pandora Apple, any of those for the
podcast last week. So the thingis, you want to make sure that
you are are working on coming fromyour conscious mind rather than your subconscious Your
(09:07):
subconscious mind is the part that reacts, that gets triggered, that goes into
that emotional reaction like anger, fear, in shame, guilt, any of
those emotions, even grief when youhave a reaction to something that has happened
(09:31):
or a person that you are reactingto, and all of that is coming
from the subconscious mind. Your superconscious mind is that part of you what
I call it your higher self.These that hot, wise, unconditionally loving
part of your soul, the universe, God, all of that energy or
(09:56):
angels, your guides, all ofthat is part of your super conscious mind.
And you want to be able tocome into alignment of the three minds
conscious, subconscious and super conscious forthe most powerful, inspired and empowered living.
So that's really what you want towork on moving towards. And it
(10:22):
is a journey and a process.It's not something that boom, yes,
snap your fingers and all of asudden it's done. Sometimes I wish that
was so, But there's a reasonwhy there is process and journey so that
we can learn. Earth is ourschoolroom, so we can learn all kinds
(10:43):
of important lessons. So somebody fromCountry Corners Gazette asks, what about parents
keep trying to push their views ongrown kids. Okay, so I understand
that, really, Well, Godbless my parents, and they are in
heaven watching over me right now,and I adore them and love them.
(11:07):
But I do understand that Misty saysa lifelong journey. That is true.
It is a life long journey.So true, So true, Misty,
so true. So what happens Okay, so here's here's the piece. Right,
(11:28):
you are parents, God bless themalive, passed on. They're just
doing what they feel they need todo to take care of you, protect
you, help you, support you. And very often that feels like they're
trying to rule you, your puttheir views on you, trying to or
(11:54):
they judge you, or trying tocontrol and manipulate you. And what I'm
going to say is it's the same. In fact, when you are reacting
to them, you are reacting fromthat earlier place, that place of that
(12:18):
child's self. Usually. Now,if you're an adult and your parents are
trying to push their judgments or viewsor opinions on you, I would support
you in a healthy appropriate way tosay, you know what, thanks for
sharing and I am choosing to dothis, or you can do other things
(12:46):
that you need to do to takecare of you in a healthy way.
What I will say is if youtry to confront them or fight them,
they may not hear you. Now, if you have a parent that's trying
to put their views, now,you know your parents, Okay, some
(13:07):
parents can hear you, and someparents will never hear you no matter what
you say, because they have theirview, they're like, Okay, this
is what I believe, this isfor your best good, this is for
what you need to take care ofyourself, and they can't see another way,
(13:28):
and so trying to fight them onit, it isn't going to help
because you're not going to change theirmind or opinion. Now, if you
have a parent who is open andwilling and more able to hear you,
then you may want to talk tothem in a healthy appropriate way and healthy
(13:54):
appropriate way. When I talk aboutthat is healthy communication is when I when
you say dot dot dot dot,I feel like So, for example,
let's say they're judging you on howyou deal with your finances. When you
(14:15):
keep talking to me about my finances, I get upset, I get angry,
I get hurt and I need toor I am working on my finances
and I'm doing it my way away that I need to do it.
(14:35):
Look, I know this may bewhat you feel like you're trying to help
me, But what happens is I'mgetting more upset. So hopefully that kind
of or you know, if they'retrying to tell you you should eat certain
things, or get into a healthierrelationship or leave somebody or whatever your life,
(14:58):
and you need to do what youneed to do to take care of
you. Now, if there's somethings that aren't healthy, then you want
to find healthier ways. And ifyou're working on yourself, you're working on
yourself. So Country Corners Gazette.The parents. The parents always seem to
(15:22):
express their opinions and views at familygatherings. Okay, yes, parents tend
to do that. Now, Idon't know if it's directed at you or
is it directed at all the kidsat the table. But here's the thing.
You can ignore. You can sayokay, you know, and you
(15:46):
continue to do what you feel likeyou need to do. Now I'm making
suggestions again. You know, ifyou need to go deeper in to getting
help and support around people or help, then I think they like to put
(16:07):
on a power show at family gatherings. And that's possible, that's very possible.
Is that they want to continue toshow that they are the either the
matriarchs or the patriarchs, and theymay put on a show, a power
show, and that's very very possible. And they're coming from their ego.
(16:33):
And now remember remember I said toyou in the past, show as I've
said, you cannot control someone else. You can't. They're going to do
what they're going to do. Themost important thing that you can do is
to look at what's triggering you.Did they do that your whole life and
(17:00):
now it's just annoying you or angeringyou, And to look at what exactly
is triggering you about it to godeeper into it for healing. And so
what happens is then they they're goingto do what they're going to do.
(17:26):
However, you are going to becomeconsciously aware. And now the second,
the second step, the second waythat you can do your self care is
to work on clearing those triggers.So the way that you clear the triggers
(17:52):
is when your parents are putting ontheir they're power places, or they're in
that place where they're doing that kindof behavior. You're not going to change
them. And that's why I wassaying sometimes it's not to your benefit to
(18:14):
confront them. Now. I alsowant to say that I would support definitely
not to confront at a family gathering. That you want to create time and
space at a later time to havediscussions if you have the kind of parent
(18:37):
that's willing and open to hearing you, if you don't, then it's not
going to be for you in yourbest interest to do or say anything because
you know that they're not going tochange now. Sometimes intuitively there may be
(19:00):
something that they've never changed before,but intuitively you're getting guided Ooh, all
of a sudden, I think thatthere's a time for me to talk to
my father or my mother about this. That's why the intuition is so important,
because the intuition is coming from thehigher aspects of yourself, and they
(19:22):
know things that you don't know.Maybe your parent all of a sudden is
starting to work on themselves and youdidn't even know that, and you having
a discussion with them later on.And whether it's your parent or a sibling
or another family member, you wantto save discussions for a later time when
you can really have a conversation withthe person. Confronting somebody at the family
(19:48):
table will usually escalate in something thatwill not be pleasant, and you don't
really want to do that. SoCountry Corners is that I tend to excuse
myself when they start with it.You know what, that's actually what you
need to do to take care ofyou. And I really support you for
(20:10):
taking care of yourself, because that'sactually healthy behavior. If you don't want
to hear it and you excuse yourself, good for you because you're doing what
you need to take care of yourselfand you don't need to be listening to
them going off, and so Iacknowledge you for that good work. So
(20:33):
so you want to really connect withwhat you are to what you want to
do to help you to clear yourenergy. Now, there are two types
(20:55):
of clearing. That's clearing in themoment or during the day to start the
beginning of the day. I usuallysupport people to start clearing in the beginning
of the day and to clear theirenergy through could be meditating and writing or
(21:18):
like journaling, or it could beyoga or exercise, really doing anything that
will help you move the energy throughyour body to help you feel better.
So definitely want to support you whoMisty says, people tend to take sides
(21:48):
if you do it at the familytable. Exactly, if you do it
at the family table, it willit ends up not being a good thing
at all. And that's why I'msaying, if you feel like you can
talk to your parents, or ifyou're getting an intuitive hit to talk to
your parents, you do it ora family member or a friend. Like
(22:11):
what I'm talking about now are reallygood guidelines for any healthy relationship. So
you want to do it at alater time, set up a time and
that would be convenient for both ofyou. So now I know somebody asked,
what if the difficult people live withyou? Now, if you have
(22:36):
difficult people that are living with you, a few things. One again,
you're not going to be able tocontrol them. You're not going to be
able to change them. The onlything that you can do is to keep
taking care of you, like beingable to get up if you need to.
(23:03):
I don't know if that's the sameperson or if it's a different person,
but getting up and excusing yourself.If it's like a family experience,
If the people are living with you, then you need to set certain boundaries.
(23:25):
And this is really for everything islearning how to This is really crucial
self care, okay, is learningto set the boundaries so that you are
doing your self care and really takinggood care of yourself with difficult people,
(23:48):
whether they live with you or not. And if they live with you,
then what's going to be really importantfor you to do is to again healthy
and appropriate setting boundaries. If youreact to those difficult people in anger,
(24:11):
it can escalate and it doesn't work. It's healthier to process, and this
is where the clearing comes in.We want to learn how to clear your
(24:32):
information, what's coming up for you, your triggers on deeper levels, to
understand what is being triggered. Now, one of the one of like a
really big trigger for many many,many of us is not being not feeling
(24:56):
heard, not feeling seen, notfeeling understood. And very often those triggers
are getting triggered, and they're noteven though they seem like their present time,
(25:18):
they're really coming from the little you, the little you who is hurting
because of something or something that yourparents or loved ones or caretakers or in
school or friends or siblings. Somethinghappened and you didn't feel seen, you
(25:47):
didn't feel heard, you didn't feelunderstood. And so when you don't feel
that in present time as the adult, it triggers the little you. And
so the clearing, the clearing ishelping yourself connect with that little you and
(26:15):
learning to help that little you feelheard, feel loved, feel taken care
of, and especially letting that littleyou feel heard, feel seen and feel
understood. And I've worked with many, many clients and through the years.
(26:44):
I'm going to give you an examplewhat happens when you work with the little
you. So I have a clientthat came to me and Tara. When
she first came to me, Tarawas feeling really angry. She was on
(27:15):
the verge of a divorce. Shecouldn't stand her husband. She was so
so angry at him, and itwas like there was like nothing you could
say or do, and they wouldalways get into fights and arguments. She
just couldn't stand them. And thenwhat started happening, And this is what
(27:41):
happens, what can happen when youstart clearing and healing the issues around the
difficult people in your life. Sowe started working together and Tara and I
did a lot of work working withthat little her little girl inside of her,
(28:04):
and we helped that little girl feelheard and loved. Tara had a
lot of trauma growing up. Alot. Nothing she could or do or
say would matter to her mother.There was always not good enough, there
was always criticism. And so Tarawe started working because that was who Tara's
(28:33):
husband was triggering her mother, andwe started working on healing those triggers,
those patterns, and what started happeningis that the anger started subsiding and she
(28:56):
started looking at herself rather than lookingat him John, and so so Tara
was We kept working, and thenwhat happened was Tara made a choice.
(29:22):
She had healed enough, and shesaid, I am choosing to stay with
John. I am choosing to makethis work. And they're still together and
they're growing all together. And I'mnot going to say that they don't have
(29:44):
their issues still because that's life.But the relationship is different because Tara changed.
And that's the power of what canhappen when you are able to change
(30:07):
and clear those patterns. That isso important for your self care because what
happens is when you clear the patterns, your life starts changing. Your relationships
can shift, and you can healon deeper levels. That's what's possible.
(30:38):
And I am really excited to tellyou that I'm doing a masterclass next Wednesday.
It's called Three Keys, two Calmin these Uncertain Times. It's a
(31:03):
free virtual masterclass and you can learnhow to break free from a stressed out
mindset, uncover strategies to conquer theblocks that have been holding you back from
creating more peace and calm, harnessthe power of intuition for clarity. You'll
(31:29):
discover the secrets of intuitive wisdom thatguide you towards clarity, helping you navigate
uncertainty with confidence and purpose, andlearn practical tools for daily tranquility. Learn
the skills needed to maintain a calmand centered mindset amidst life's uncertainties. And
(31:56):
So, Rebel, can you putthe link in the chat? And the
link is it's the name of theshow, Inspired and Empowered Living dot Com
Forward Slash master Class. Three Keysto Calm in these uncertain times. And
(32:22):
so I really want to invite youto join me for this free virtual masterclass.
It's Wednesday, December sixth at twelvepm Eastern and so Inspired and Empowered
Living dot Com Forward Slash master Classor one word. So really want to
(32:50):
invite you to the masterclass to learnmore keys to come because that's what I'm
all about. I want to helpyou and the confidence, the clarity and
calmness that you desire for an inspiredand empowered life. That's what it's all
about. So I really want togo over what can get triggered in you're
(33:22):
in an unhealthy relationship or in yourrelationship you know it may be unhealthy or
it may not be. But allrelationships are our mirrors, and all relationships
are exciting opportunities. Even though itdoesn't feel like it believed me. I
(33:45):
know that some people really are annoyingand it's really hard to deal with.
And know that as you change internally, it can change. Things can change.
(34:07):
I've witnessed it in my own life, and I've witnessed it time and
again in clients' lives. Now,when you change from the inside out,
your life will change. Your lifecan change, your relationships can change,
(34:30):
and that's part of moving towards aninspired and empowered life. So what happens?
You want to understand what's getting triggerednow. I talked about three common
triggers. What happens is when youhave the trigger in relationship, you're getting
(34:57):
triggered and it they're triggering old wounds, They're triggering those needs, those unmeant
needs like not feeling heard, notfeeling seen, not feeling not feeling understood,
and another a few others are notfeeling good enough. Those that like
(35:22):
you want you want to feel goodenough, and perhaps your parent or parents
never made you feel good enough,perhaps they never feel made you feel loved
or safe. These are common basicneeds that need healing. And there it's
(35:47):
the healing of the child part,that child inside of you to help the
adult you deal with present relationships.Sounds amazing, but it is true,
and that goes for anyone, anyanytime, anything. Now, again,
(36:14):
you're not going to control or changethem. They need to be willing to
change themselves. And so the mostimportant thing you can do is change your
reaction so that you can then respond. So now what needs to happen is
(36:37):
those unhealthy patterns need to be cleared. And as you work your energy and
clear it, you help heal yourselfand perhaps your relationships. So now clearing
(36:59):
that energy, that's really important selfcare, and then you want to make
the deeper connection to you and makingit in that deeper connection to your higher
self, your soul, your angels, your guides. And if you have
(37:21):
any questions about anything I'm saying,let me know because I want to definitely
make sure. These are important thingsin terms of being able to reduce your
stress, especially your relationship stress.And really in order to heal, you
(37:45):
need to feel. So I reallywant to support you to heal when you
feel you are healing, even thoughit may not see like it. Setting
the boundaries boundaries is important, crucialself care, crucial self care, and
(38:13):
that's going to be really important withthe people in your life, really important.
And so I want to support youto remember what the other people do
(38:35):
and say, it's not about you. Not only can you not control it
or change them, it's not aboutyou and that is what Okay, So
I'm gonna hold that question up there. Just wait one second, okay,
(38:55):
So not only can you not controlor change them, but what's really important
for you is to remember it's notabout you. It's learning to this is
about them and their behavior and theirstuff. Now you may trigger them,
(39:16):
and that's a whole other thing.But I want to get to the question,
what if you are tired of feeling, can't you just walk away from
things to let it go? Okay, So I am going to say it
depends, first of all, ifyou are in constant feeling of the pain
(39:44):
like anger, grief, fear,resentment, frustration, shame, guilt.
If you're in that cond state,the best way to shift that state is
(40:10):
to find something that feels peaceful orloving or joyful to you some way to
nurture you if you're in that state, it's learning to find the things that
will help you move from that statea pain or irritation to a state of
(40:37):
peace or love or joy, becausethose are the higher vibrations and your emotions.
Now, sometimes you may need tofeel like you need an emotional break,
But if you're constantly doing it,or you're turning to an addiction or
(40:59):
some kind of better behavior to stopyou from feeling, that's not going to
help you. It's not going toserve you. But I understand when you
feel you're if you're a feeler andyou're feeling a lot, and you're you're
feeling like you're on feeling overload,you want to find the ways to try
(41:21):
to calm your nervous system because what'shappening is your nervous system is on overload,
and so you want to find theways to calm your nervous system down.
So things that may work for you. Breathing, you know how,
I'm always talking about breathing your breathand belly breath, the breath, taking
(41:45):
that deep breath in, put yourhands on your belly I'll get to the
question in a second. Put yourhands on your belly and breathe and breathe,
let your belly rise. And thenwhen you breathe out, let your
(42:06):
belly fall. And breathe, letyour belly rise. When you breathe out,
let your belly fall. And youwant to focus on your breath to
calm your nervous system. See,this is really asking yourself what you can
do to calm yourself. Sometimes havingan emotional release like crying or getting angry
(42:36):
in a safe way where you're nothurting yourself or someone else, like punching
a pillow or something. Or maybeyou need to use exercise and breathe it
out. Exercise and breathe to getout anger or frustration, take a walk.
(42:57):
These are all tools to clearing thatenergy from the body. And if
you just need to sit in frontof the TV for a few hours or
to do something, as long asyou're Here's the thing. I'm not saying
you need to feel all the time. There, it's learning that balance,
(43:19):
because if you're not feeling any ofthe time, that's not balanced either.
And if you're turning to destructive things, that's not helpful to you. I'm
really wanting to support you in movingtowards a healthier balance where you're feeling and
you're healing, and you're starting tofeel you're calming your nervous system down and
(43:44):
you're starting to feel healthier, andyou're starting to feel more peace or love
or joy and can come in moments, and then sometimes the moments increase.
Now I know, I know that, Misty, I know you have a
(44:05):
question that came in, and Iwant to be able. I need to
start ending the show now, soI am going to start. Ah,
okay, and I see the onethat just came in from Country Cona's gazette.
So I am going to bring thesetwo up next week when we do
the show, and we'll start theshow with your questions and your comments next
(44:32):
week, okay, because I reallywant to give time to them, and
I really want to support you allin having healthier relationships to create your inspired
and empowered life. So we'll dothis part three next week and I'll get
(44:54):
to your questions next week. Ireally want to thank you all are joining
me and asking your questions. Youcan come to my masterclass. It's a
free virtual masterclass Inspired and Empowered Livingdot com Forward Slash Masterclass and go to
(45:23):
Inspired and Empowered Living dot com ForwardSlash Masterclass and tune in next Tuesday at
eleven am Eastern on Talk for TVdot com, w fo WN dot my
(45:45):
YouTube channel and for the podcast.iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple and
Amazon and many more. And Iwish you all an inspired and empowered week
and an inspired and empowered day.Have a great one. Everybody buy for now
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