December 5, 2023 • 46 mins
Continuing where we left off last week … Are there some people in your life that you are not looking forward to seeing during the holidays? Find out how to manage your relationship stress and live an inspired and empowered life!
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Tuesdays at 11AM ET.
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The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Tuesdays at 11AM ET.
The Inspired and Empowered Living TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast on W4WN Radio – The Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
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(00:00):
Any health related information on the followingshow provides general information only. Content presented
on any show by any host orguests should not be substituted for a doctor's
advice. Always consult your physician beforebeginning any new diet, exercise, or
treatment program. Hello everyone, andwelcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living TV
(00:58):
show and podcast. We're live Tuesdaymornings at eleven am Eastern on talkfod TV
dot com, W FOURWN dot com, and my YouTube channel, and today
we are going to continue to talkabout reducing relationship stress. Part three.
(01:26):
Are there some people and we're goingto continue where we left off last week,
and are there some people in yourlife that you're not looking forward to
seeing during the holidays. Find outhow to manage your relationship stress to live
(01:49):
an inspired and empowered life. Andwe're going to be talking about three principles
that you need to do to boostyourself care so that you can become more
centered and calm during the holidays.Learn how to deal effectively with difficult people,
(02:16):
and discover the number one mistake thatwould keep you from healthier relationships.
So welcome everybody, and glad you'rejoining us today. And as always,
I encourage questions. If you're joiningus live, you can always go to
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the you can always go to YouTubeand posting questions after and if you're obviously
if you're live, you can postthem right in. And definitely want to
support you in being able to joinus live and want to be let you
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know that we are grateful, whetheryou're joining us live or you're listening at
a later time, thank you forbeing here. So the first thing that
I really want to do before Ijump into today's topic is last week or
so, we have been talking aboutbeing consciously aware and really tuning into you
(03:29):
and what you need when you're feelingtriggered. And I see that we have
Ali in the house, Good morningAli, and really tuning in to when
you're triggered, and then to knowthat once you realize what the trigger is,
(03:51):
then you can do something about it. But I want to talk about
the questions that I received at theend end of the show, and I
want to answer those questions. Sohopefully the people that ask the questions are
on. If not, they'll haveto join at a later time to get
(04:14):
their questions to hear the answers tothe questions. So one of the questions
is if one person in a relationshipchanges, does this cause a one sided
issue or out of sync? Soif what happens is is the one person
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in the relationship is changing, therelationship can go one of two ways.
And here's the thing I want tosay, if one person in the relationship
is changing in a positive way,Because if one person is changing, but
they're going downhill or they're having majorchallenges and they may end up taking their
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partner with them, or they thepartner may support them in getting better.
So what happens if you are changingand you're concerned, will your partner keep
up with you or the relationship willkeep up or will it go down?
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So what will happen is if youare changing in a positive way and you're
getting healthier and healthier, and you'resharing and communicating from your heart in healthy
appropriate ways, and your partner,even though they may not be doing the
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work with you, but they're hearingyou, they're open into hearing you,
and somehow you're working it through,somehow you're moving together into higher and healthier
ways, then the relationship will getbetter. And that's because what happens is
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is when you get healthier, eitherthe people in your life will like you're
setting us, you're being a rolemodel, and you're setting a standard.
And it's almost like there's a universalcall, a universal law called resonance.
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And what happens is with resonance thatwhen other people are around a certain frequency,
so as you get higher and lighterand you start changing for the better,
people will either come to your resonance. So your partner may end up
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joining you and coming to your resonance. Or if the relationship and you're getting
better and healthier and healthier, andyour partner is not willing to change,
not willing to go there with you, not willing to hear you, then
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the relationship will probably end. AndI know this from personal experience. I
was actually married and I'm divorced,and what happened was I was choosing to
keep changing and my husband at thetime, and I'm very grateful Tim in
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a lot of ways, however,he made the choice like I was,
I was on a trajectory of I'mchanging and nothing's going to stop me.
I need to get out of thepain because I was in a lot of
pain. I was in a lotof depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress
(08:20):
disorder, and what happened was,I see the question came in, Come
in and I'll answer in a secondshortly. And what happened was he made
the choice not to change and weended. We ended the relationship. And
(08:43):
so somebody asked, are me andmy ex friends? No, we're not
friends. We're not friends. Idon't you know. When I think about
him now and he's already he's remarried. I bless him, you know,
and and everything. But I chosenot to be friends. It just didn't
(09:07):
feel healthy for me. And thereare some people that can remain friends with
their exes and it works for bothof them. Listen, you have to
choose, not choose. You don'thave to choose. When you make a
conscious choice, that empowers you toeither stay friends if that's really what feels
(09:31):
good to you, or to letthe relationship go. For me, I
needed to let it go because itwasn't serving me. And I'm grateful for
all the lessons and the things thatI did learn, and it was time
to move on, and so that'swhat I did. So so that's the
(09:58):
question, and I believe it wasme. I don't know if Misty's here,
but I hope you heard the answerto your question, and if you
have any other questions, or anyof you have any other questions about what
I just said, definitely ask now. This next question I think came from
Country Corners iseed so and if not, if it was somebody else, misty
(10:24):
ah, Okay, there she is. Is it okay to remain part of
X's lives or should people move on? You know what you need to choose,
Like, if you feel good andcomfortable with your ex and you can
be friends, then definitely go forit. I definitely want to support you
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if you both can be because sometimespeople realize they can be better friends and
they can be partners and lovers.So if you can be friends with an
ex, go for it. Doit. But if that X is really
toxic or hurtful, then I wouldlimit that. Now, if you have
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children with your ex, then youneed to obviously you're going to be connected
to that person unless it's so toxicthat you had to. And I've known
situations like that too, where somebodyjust had to totally cut off from an
ex. But if you have childrenwith that partner, then you need to
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find a way to work through itor keep things to a minimum. For
the sake of the kids. Andso every partnership, every relationship, it's
about figuring out what works for youto support you, to support the children,
to support everything, so that it'sthe highest and greatest good for all.
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Okay, the next question that camein last week that I want to
talk about before we get into thisweek's show is if a person is making
a difference for self but others arenot agreeing to the changes, should the
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person making the changes worry about thefeelings of others? Okay, So here's
if you're making changes and the changesyou're making are really helping you and supporting
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you, and you are getting healthierand healthier, but other people are not
liking them, and I'll give youan example of what happens with that.
So what happens very often is ifyou start getting healthier and healthier and you
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start saying no, and you startsetting boundaries. Now, if you have
people in your life and they couldbe parents, they could be adult children,
they could be friends, and youwere the person that was always giving
and doing and going till the toptill you felt so exhausted, and then
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you started learning to say no,I'm not going to do this or you
know what, this isn't feeling rightfor me right now, and you started
setting limits and boundaries. And thepeople that you used to always say yes
to, if they're not healthy orgoing there with you and they're not honoring
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your needs, then they may getangry, they may get upset, they
may get sad, and sometimes ifthey're really dysfunctional, they may try to
guilt you. And what I wantto support you in remembering is that the
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most important thing is is your selfcare. And that's what we're coming back
to, is that self care andthe self care is really really crucial and
important. And others may not agreewith it, and they may not like
it. They may want you backto the old self where you're giving to
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the point of depletion of yourself.But that's not good for you, because
I want to support you all.When you give from the place of overflowing
abundance, and term that abundant isin energy and time, in love,
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you have more to give and thegiving comes from a different place. It's
more unconditional from the plate than froma place of depletion. And so what
I'm going to support you is tokeep doing your self care because that's what's
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most important, is that self care. And others may not always agree with
it if they're not on the pathwith you. But now that you are
doing what you need to do totake care of you, I can give
you an example from my own life. My parents, God bless them there
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in heaven, and I may haveused this example, but this is so
what happens. I was going totrainings and different programs and my parents would
say to me, you're going again. I can't believe you're going again.
And I knew from an intuitive placethis was really crucial for me to do
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this training or program in Massachusetts,Rhode Island. Sometimes I'd be flying out
to California and I knew that Ineeded to do it, and I would
do it, and I would fightthem. God bless them. Now they're
in heaven, and now they understandthat I had a vision. I was
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keeping to my vision, and Isee all the comments coming in, so
I'm definitely I'll answer them shortly.And I and we would fight about it
or disagree on it, but nothingwas going to stop me from growing and
changing and healing and transforming. Nobody'sanger, nobody's disagreements. I wasn't going
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to stop. And what I wantto support you. If you are working
on yourself and you are moving towardsmaking changes in your life for your betterment,
then keep ongoing. That self careis crucial and so boundaries are a
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huge, huge piece in every wayin relationships in your life with yourself and
with others. And that's part ofthe self care. And that comes when
you clear the energy, you connect, you consciously become aware, you clear
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the energy. And then the thirdthird piece that I want to talk about
is the connection. And when youconnect with yourself and you start realizing what
your limits are, you start settingthose boundaries. And those boundaries are crucial
for essential I call it essential selfcare. Okay, So I know we
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got a whole lot of things comingin, So let's go back. I
think misty no country corners. Iknow people who keep going back and forth
with the X and they are likea yo yo. So there are people
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that will go back and forth withan ex partner because either there's a couple
of things that might be happening.One is the relationship may not be complete.
Their partners may still be learning fromeach other in some ways, and
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or that's one piece. The otherpiece is that the subconscious patterns really and
you may or may not like hearingthis, but in relationships, you are
not only coming like within a fewseconds. You when you're talking about a
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romantic relationship and even a friendship thatyou feel really connected with, there's like
it's within a few seconds, perhapsa few minutes, that the subconscious kind
of makes the connection and you feelthat that person may may meet your needs.
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Now, what happens in relationships,because we're talking about reducing relationship stress,
is that what happens in relationships iswhen partners, friends, family do
not meet your subconscious needs unconscious needs, there is friction, there is disagreement,
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and so people may yo yo backand forth because or one partner may
be dangling a carrot and then theother person is hoping the other person will
change until they learn that either a, this person's never going to change and
I need to stop. One personhas to be the one to set the
(20:42):
boundary in the limit, or bothpeople decide to change and get help.
Remember the story some of you whohave been listening know the story of Jenny
and Jimmy. And Jenny and Jimmywere they Jenny would shut down and get
(21:04):
quiet, and what you are shewould go into freeze, and Jimmy would
be aggressive and scream and yell,and they wouldn't have lasted if they both
didn't decide to get the help thatthey needed. And so that's what happens.
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So and let me just the consciousmind is the part of you that
this is my psych one oh onelesson. This conscious mind is the part
of you that chose to be here, whether you're listening live or tuning in
at a later time. Thank you, conscious mind of yours, your subconscious
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or unconscious mind, and I'm usingthem interchangeably. Is the part of you
from the moment you will conceived topresent time that was recorded every moment,
all the beliefs and including limiting beliefsand emotions that no longer serve you or
that may be hurting you or sabotagingyou, are all in your subconscious mind.
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So when you have people that arein your life and you go back
and forth on some level, theymay be serving some kind of subconscious need.
The lessons are not over or andor you're still in the growth process
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with either yourself or them, andperhaps they may end up moving and growing
with you. So it all dependson and this is really important for you
to become aware of what's more,aware of what you need in the journey
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of relationships, and that includes notonly partnerships but friendships. I know because
I've been in unhealthy friendships. AndI will tell you I was in a
very unhealthy friendship for years and thenI was like, I couldn't end it,
talk about the yo yo. Andfinally my intuition, my guidance said
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done, no more, no more. It was like there was a completion
and an energy of completion, andI knew that the relationship was done and
I could not stay in this relationshipthat was too toxic, and I ended
it and I never spoke to theIt was a friendship, and I never
spoke to the person again. Godbless her now she's now in heaven.
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But anyway, so that's what happenswhen relationships with relationships, and you need
to make those decisions, and Ialways support you to make them from an
intuitive place. So hopefully that washelpful and made it okay. So what
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was the next one? What ifpeople are only giving their opinions based on
what they have to gain? Soif people are giving their opinions on what
they have to gain. And Iam going to tell you, if you
think about it, most people functionlike this. Most people are coming from
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their need, what they want,how it's going to serve them. Now,
some people are more toxic, moreneedy than others, and so what
happens is ultimately and that's why youneed to tune into you and what you
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need. That's why it's about thatconscious awareness and realizing are you getting triggered
maybe on an intuitive subconscious level.You know they're trying to fill their needs,
not yours. Now, if aperson is getting healthier and healthier,
then you're going to be able totalk it through, work it out.
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Because here's the thing. Everybody ina relationship once their needs met. It's
actually that's usually what happens when we'rein relationships. We all want our needs
met. And the healthier relationships arethe relationships where you can sit down and
have a conversation and talk it throughand be able to work it out.
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Now, if somebody is not willingto talk it out or work it through,
then you need to look at howmuch do you want to be in
relationship with them? Is it servingyou to be in relationship with them,
and what you need to do foryour self care to take care of yourself
(26:22):
in this relationship. So, andI want to let you know that tomorrow
I'm actually doing a master class forhelping you to gain the calm, because
it is in the calm that youcan find a way to tune into your
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intuition. It is in the calmplace that your intuition is talking to you
and that you can here feel senseand know it. So join me tomorrow
for three Keys to Calm for youand your clients. And join us for
(27:11):
this masterclass It's at twelve pm Easterntomorrow, and learn how to break free
from a stressed out mindset. Uncoverstrategies that will help you uncover the blocks
that have been holding you back fromcreating peace and calm. Learn how to
(27:33):
harness the power of your intuition forclarity. Uncover the secrets of your intuitive
wisdom that can guide you towards clarityand help you navigate uncertainty with confidence and
purpose. And then learn practical toolsfor daily tranquility. Learn the skills needed
(27:56):
to maintain a calm and centered eventhough life may have many uncertainties Rebel,
can you put the link in thechat? And Inspired and Empowered Living dot
(28:17):
Com from Forward Slash master Class again, Inspired and Empowered Living dot Com Forward
Slash master Class. Thank you.Okay, so let's go back to the
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questions. Okay, does it meanthey are dysfunctional or just greedy? So
here's the thing. What's really importantfor all of you to know is that
if you even think of your ownself, you are human, and so
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are the people in your life.And there may be times you may feel
that they're greedy. There may betimes that you feel they're dysfunctional. And
all of us have somehow acted fromplaces and spaces that maybe we didn't wish
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we hadn't. How many of youhave put your foot in the mouth and
you're like, oh, what didI say that I know I have?
And then or what about if youknow, like you did something and then
you later regretted it. We arehuman, and so know that the people
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in your life are human too.Now there are going to be times where
they may or may not. Youknow, it may come from this dysfunctional
place. Greedy is part of dysfunction. It's an ego place. And what's
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important for you to decide for youis if this person they may be dysfunctional,
but you may love them, andthey may have a lot of good
qualities, and they may be willing. Maybe they're working on themselves and they're
willing to grow, and you canhave a conversation and maybe you're growing together.
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And then you may to say,you know what, this is a
person I want to work through thingsthrough. Whether it's a partner, an
ex, a friend, family member, or then there is if they're really
toxic and really dysfunctional and they bringyou down and it's not either a you
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limit your time with them, orif you feel like you need to end
it, you end it. It'sreally important for you again to really tune
into you and ask and pray what'sgoing to serve you to take care of
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yourself. That's what I want tosupport you to do. Okay, So
what's next? All right? Iknew you were talking dysfunctional, misty,
don't worry, I got it.How do you know we are making the
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right choices and going for the correctgoal. So going for the right choices
and the correct goal any of us, and this is about being human again.
We are all on a journey andwe're all doing believe it or not,
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even when you don't feel like youare. What I want to support
you and remembering is that you aredoing the best that you know how to
do in the moment with the situations. And if you're on the path of
growth and you're learning and you're growing, you're in the journey. And what
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I want to support you in rememberingis that you are in the journey of
learning. And so you may makea choice and either a it may feel
like the right choice at the moment, and then you may later regret it,
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or you may make the right otherchoice and then you're like, yes,
I got it right. But here'sthe thing. Even if you make
a mistake with a choice, themost important question that you can ask yourself
is what are you learning from thisexperience? What opportunity? Because even if
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you make a mistake or you makea wrong choice, or you make something
and you're like, why didn't Ido that? Why didn't I change it?
And then you can say, oh, now I understand, and it's
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really interesting. I really want tosupport I really want to thank you all
because doing this show makes such adifference for me and I get insights and
downloads while I'm sharing with you,and so I want you to know that
(34:22):
I, look, I'm still onmy journey too, and I've made some
decisions, like a couple of monthsabout my health. And it was last
night I was like, why whydidn't I do that instead of this?
And in this moment, what Irealized was what was the opportunity? What
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did I learn from the experience?And what I learned is and I'll share
this with you. What I learnedis is that I wasn't ready to let
go. I wanted a let goin a conscious You know how I'm always
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talking about the conscious mind and thesubconscious mind. My conscious mind wants one
thing and my subconscious wanted another.And I'm going to tell you the subconscious
mind always wins. And that's whyit's so important to clear your energy and
to clear your stuff, because thatway you can move towards the past so
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they come into alignment, and thenyou're in alignment, and then you're on
the path together to create what youwant in your life, towards the goals
and the dreams. And I alsowant you to know that we're definitely going
to be talking more about goals anddreams in the new year, because I
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always like to start the new yearto support you. So just giving you
a heads up. So just wantedto let you know that, Okay,
friend enemy is a thing that peopledon't always know they are dealing with.
Yeah, it's true. Sometimes youdon't know. You think that the person's
(36:14):
your friend, but if they're talkingbehind your back or doing things against you,
then it's not necessarily a friend.And sometimes you don't always know.
So I just really want to supportall of you in just tuning in to
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what again, it's learning to tapinto that intuition, learning to tap in
to that place of inner knowing,because on some level you know when something
doesn't feel right. And that's whatI want to support you in doing,
(36:58):
is to listen to yourself. Andsometimes you know, you don't always want
to make us snap judgment and youmay want to keep somebody at a distance.
It's really like, really to reducethe relationship stress is really helping you
to understand what is it you needto do in this relationship for yourself that
(37:25):
will support you overall. So Ijust want to let you know that,
Okay, So all right, Mistysays, do you find that when both
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can't get what they want is thestart of a breakdown of a relationship,
especially if they think they want isin different directions. Okay, so if
both and here's the thing, we'retalking about different levels. If both of
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you don't get what you want,your needs are different. Your needs are
changing, and what happened was maybewhen you first came together, your needs
were in sync, and now eachof your needs are changing. Because that
sometimes happens, that relationships will eithergrow with you as you go and grow,
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or the relationship may need to endnow. If you're both not getting
what you want, you have choices. You can choose to go for help
and go for couple counseling to seeif you can save the relationship and find
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ways to meet each other's needs.If one or both of you are not
willing to go to counseling, thenthen you need to look at what's keeping
you in this relationship. If yourneeds are not being met and their needs
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are not being met, then askyourself what's keeping me in this relationship?
What purpose is this relationship serving?And if you find that it's not really
serving you anymore, then it maybe time to leave but there may be
(39:43):
a thing, or maybe there's somethings you're still learning in the relationship.
Maybe even though you're both not gettingyour needs met, maybe you're hanging in
there to see if one or bothof you can find a way to make
it work and get one of bothof you your needs met. And ultimately
you want both of you to haveyour needs met finding a way to make
(40:07):
your needs met. Really want tosupport you and doing that. So if
you want different, if different directions, like that was what happened with me
and my ex husband. What happenedwas I was going one way and he
(40:28):
was going another and it wasn't working. So so definitely about really tuning in
what do you need and is itgoing to work? Okay, this will
be the last question. Any otherquestions that come in will cover them next
week. Is it possible to seethe signs of relationship is going in opposite
(40:52):
directions and if caught in the time, can it be fixed. Yes,
If if you see that a relationshipis going in different directions, but one
of both of you, hopefully bothof you are willing to work on it,
it can be caught in time.Things can totally shift in relationships.
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It really makes a difference if apartner or a friend is willing to do
the work, and even friendships,if you really care about somebody, I
love somebody and that friendship means alot to you, then you're willing to
(41:37):
do the work it takes on yourself, and the other person's willing to work
on their self, the relationship canturn around. I gave you an example,
and it was and I used apseudooname. So sometimes I use different
(42:00):
names, but anyway, so Itoday I'm using Samantha. So Samantha was
in the relationship with her husband andthey were very angry and it looked like
they were heading for divorce. Andshe and I were working together and we
(42:22):
started working on her issues and shestarted communicating with him in healthy ways.
And now their relationship, they're stilltogether. They never got a divorce.
She made the choice to stay becauseit started working. Her anger went down
and it started working better. Nowis the relationship perfect, No, it's
(42:46):
not perfect, but it is goingto be something that will help them to
really move forward. Because she,Samantha, chose to make the changes,
(43:07):
the relationship changed, and that's whatcan happen. But remember that in Samantha's
relationship, her husband John was willingto listen. He was willing to listen
(43:28):
to and to grow with her,and so their relationship was able to be
saved. So it's really about youhaving conversations. Sometimes they're going to be
hard conversations. So I know morequestions came in and I'm going to answer
them next week. We'll start theshow off next week with your questions.
(43:50):
You know, I love your questions, So thank you for your questions.
So know that relationships can be savedif one or both people are willing to
work on themselves and take a lookat what's happening. So we're going to
(44:10):
tune in. We're going to continuethis next week More Inspired and Empowered Living.
What I may do is we maydo relationship stress or I have to,
or it may be dealing with justhelping you to resolve overall stress for
(44:31):
the holidays. But your questions willbe answered, and so join us next
week. Join us next week forMore Inspired and Empowered Living. We're live
Tuesdays at eleven am Eastern on talkfor TV dot com, W four WN
(44:54):
dot com, my YouTube channel,and you can listen to the podcast on
iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Appleand Amazon and more. So join us
next week for more inspired and empoweredliving, and I wish you all an
(45:17):
inspired, an empowered day and aninspired and empowered week. Have a great
one, everybody buy for now
Any health related information on the followingshow provides general information only. Content presented
on any show by any host orguests should not be substituted for a doctor's
advice. Always consult your physician beforebeginning any new diet, exercise, or
treatment program. Hello everyone, andwelcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living TV
(00:58):
show and podcast. We're live Tuesdaymornings at eleven am Eastern on talkfod TV
dot com, W FOURWN dot com, and my YouTube channel, and today
we are going to continue to talkabout reducing relationship stress. Part three.
(01:26):
Are there some people and we're goingto continue where we left off last week,
and are there some people in yourlife that you're not looking forward to
seeing during the holidays. Find outhow to manage your relationship stress to live
(01:49):
an inspired and empowered life. Andwe're going to be talking about three principles
that you need to do to boostyourself care so that you can become more
centered and calm during the holidays.Learn how to deal effectively with difficult people,
(02:16):
and discover the number one mistake thatwould keep you from healthier relationships.
So welcome everybody, and glad you'rejoining us today. And as always,
I encourage questions. If you're joiningus live, you can always go to
(02:43):
the you can always go to YouTubeand posting questions after and if you're obviously
if you're live, you can postthem right in. And definitely want to
support you in being able to joinus live and want to be let you
(03:07):
know that we are grateful, whetheryou're joining us live or you're listening at
a later time, thank you forbeing here. So the first thing that
I really want to do before Ijump into today's topic is last week or
so, we have been talking aboutbeing consciously aware and really tuning into you
(03:29):
and what you need when you're feelingtriggered. And I see that we have
Ali in the house, Good morningAli, and really tuning in to when
you're triggered, and then to knowthat once you realize what the trigger is,
(03:51):
then you can do something about it. But I want to talk about
the questions that I received at theend end of the show, and I
want to answer those questions. Sohopefully the people that ask the questions are
on. If not, they'll haveto join at a later time to get
(04:14):
their questions to hear the answers tothe questions. So one of the questions
is if one person in a relationshipchanges, does this cause a one sided
issue or out of sync? Soif what happens is is the one person
(04:45):
in the relationship is changing, therelationship can go one of two ways.
And here's the thing I want tosay, if one person in the relationship
is changing in a positive way,Because if one person is changing, but
they're going downhill or they're having majorchallenges and they may end up taking their
(05:11):
partner with them, or they thepartner may support them in getting better.
So what happens if you are changingand you're concerned, will your partner keep
up with you or the relationship willkeep up or will it go down?
(05:31):
So what will happen is if youare changing in a positive way and you're
getting healthier and healthier, and you'resharing and communicating from your heart in healthy
appropriate ways, and your partner,even though they may not be doing the
(05:56):
work with you, but they're hearingyou, they're open into hearing you,
and somehow you're working it through,somehow you're moving together into higher and healthier
ways, then the relationship will getbetter. And that's because what happens is
(06:20):
is when you get healthier, eitherthe people in your life will like you're
setting us, you're being a rolemodel, and you're setting a standard.
And it's almost like there's a universalcall, a universal law called resonance.
(06:44):
And what happens is with resonance thatwhen other people are around a certain frequency,
so as you get higher and lighterand you start changing for the better,
people will either come to your resonance. So your partner may end up
(07:05):
joining you and coming to your resonance. Or if the relationship and you're getting
better and healthier and healthier, andyour partner is not willing to change,
not willing to go there with you, not willing to hear you, then
(07:26):
the relationship will probably end. AndI know this from personal experience. I
was actually married and I'm divorced,and what happened was I was choosing to
keep changing and my husband at thetime, and I'm very grateful Tim in
(07:55):
a lot of ways, however,he made the choice like I was,
I was on a trajectory of I'mchanging and nothing's going to stop me.
I need to get out of thepain because I was in a lot of
pain. I was in a lotof depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress
(08:20):
disorder, and what happened was,I see the question came in, Come
in and I'll answer in a secondshortly. And what happened was he made
the choice not to change and weended. We ended the relationship. And
(08:43):
so somebody asked, are me andmy ex friends? No, we're not
friends. We're not friends. Idon't you know. When I think about
him now and he's already he's remarried. I bless him, you know,
and and everything. But I chosenot to be friends. It just didn't
(09:07):
feel healthy for me. And thereare some people that can remain friends with
their exes and it works for bothof them. Listen, you have to
choose, not choose. You don'thave to choose. When you make a
conscious choice, that empowers you toeither stay friends if that's really what feels
(09:31):
good to you, or to letthe relationship go. For me, I
needed to let it go because itwasn't serving me. And I'm grateful for
all the lessons and the things thatI did learn, and it was time
to move on, and so that'swhat I did. So so that's the
(09:58):
question, and I believe it wasme. I don't know if Misty's here,
but I hope you heard the answerto your question, and if you
have any other questions, or anyof you have any other questions about what
I just said, definitely ask now. This next question I think came from
Country Corners iseed so and if not, if it was somebody else, misty
(10:24):
ah, Okay, there she is. Is it okay to remain part of
X's lives or should people move on? You know what you need to choose,
Like, if you feel good andcomfortable with your ex and you can
be friends, then definitely go forit. I definitely want to support you
(10:46):
if you both can be because sometimespeople realize they can be better friends and
they can be partners and lovers.So if you can be friends with an
ex, go for it. Doit. But if that X is really
toxic or hurtful, then I wouldlimit that. Now, if you have
(11:07):
children with your ex, then youneed to obviously you're going to be connected
to that person unless it's so toxicthat you had to. And I've known
situations like that too, where somebodyjust had to totally cut off from an
ex. But if you have childrenwith that partner, then you need to
(11:31):
find a way to work through itor keep things to a minimum. For
the sake of the kids. Andso every partnership, every relationship, it's
about figuring out what works for youto support you, to support the children,
to support everything, so that it'sthe highest and greatest good for all.
(11:58):
Okay, the next question that camein last week that I want to
talk about before we get into thisweek's show is if a person is making
a difference for self but others arenot agreeing to the changes, should the
(12:20):
person making the changes worry about thefeelings of others? Okay, So here's
if you're making changes and the changesyou're making are really helping you and supporting
(12:43):
you, and you are getting healthierand healthier, but other people are not
liking them, and I'll give youan example of what happens with that.
So what happens very often is ifyou start getting healthier and healthier and you
(13:03):
start saying no, and you startsetting boundaries. Now, if you have
people in your life and they couldbe parents, they could be adult children,
they could be friends, and youwere the person that was always giving
and doing and going till the toptill you felt so exhausted, and then
(13:30):
you started learning to say no,I'm not going to do this or you
know what, this isn't feeling rightfor me right now, and you started
setting limits and boundaries. And thepeople that you used to always say yes
to, if they're not healthy orgoing there with you and they're not honoring
(13:58):
your needs, then they may getangry, they may get upset, they
may get sad, and sometimes ifthey're really dysfunctional, they may try to
guilt you. And what I wantto support you in remembering is that the
(14:22):
most important thing is is your selfcare. And that's what we're coming back
to, is that self care andthe self care is really really crucial and
important. And others may not agreewith it, and they may not like
it. They may want you backto the old self where you're giving to
(14:45):
the point of depletion of yourself.But that's not good for you, because
I want to support you all.When you give from the place of overflowing
abundance, and term that abundant isin energy and time, in love,
(15:05):
you have more to give and thegiving comes from a different place. It's
more unconditional from the plate than froma place of depletion. And so what
I'm going to support you is tokeep doing your self care because that's what's
(15:28):
most important, is that self care. And others may not always agree with
it if they're not on the pathwith you. But now that you are
doing what you need to do totake care of you, I can give
you an example from my own life. My parents, God bless them there
(15:50):
in heaven, and I may haveused this example, but this is so
what happens. I was going totrainings and different programs and my parents would
say to me, you're going again. I can't believe you're going again.
And I knew from an intuitive placethis was really crucial for me to do
(16:17):
this training or program in Massachusetts,Rhode Island. Sometimes I'd be flying out
to California and I knew that Ineeded to do it, and I would
do it, and I would fightthem. God bless them. Now they're
in heaven, and now they understandthat I had a vision. I was
(16:41):
keeping to my vision, and Isee all the comments coming in, so
I'm definitely I'll answer them shortly.And I and we would fight about it
or disagree on it, but nothingwas going to stop me from growing and
changing and healing and transforming. Nobody'sanger, nobody's disagreements. I wasn't going
(17:11):
to stop. And what I wantto support you. If you are working
on yourself and you are moving towardsmaking changes in your life for your betterment,
then keep ongoing. That self careis crucial and so boundaries are a
(17:36):
huge, huge piece in every wayin relationships in your life with yourself and
with others. And that's part ofthe self care. And that comes when
you clear the energy, you connect, you consciously become aware, you clear
(17:57):
the energy. And then the thirdthird piece that I want to talk about
is the connection. And when youconnect with yourself and you start realizing what
your limits are, you start settingthose boundaries. And those boundaries are crucial
for essential I call it essential selfcare. Okay, So I know we
(18:22):
got a whole lot of things comingin, So let's go back. I
think misty no country corners. Iknow people who keep going back and forth
with the X and they are likea yo yo. So there are people
(18:42):
that will go back and forth withan ex partner because either there's a couple
of things that might be happening.One is the relationship may not be complete.
Their partners may still be learning fromeach other in some ways, and
(19:03):
or that's one piece. The otherpiece is that the subconscious patterns really and
you may or may not like hearingthis, but in relationships, you are
not only coming like within a fewseconds. You when you're talking about a
(19:27):
romantic relationship and even a friendship thatyou feel really connected with, there's like
it's within a few seconds, perhapsa few minutes, that the subconscious kind
of makes the connection and you feelthat that person may may meet your needs.
(19:52):
Now, what happens in relationships,because we're talking about reducing relationship stress,
is that what happens in relationships iswhen partners, friends, family do
not meet your subconscious needs unconscious needs, there is friction, there is disagreement,
(20:21):
and so people may yo yo backand forth because or one partner may
be dangling a carrot and then theother person is hoping the other person will
change until they learn that either a, this person's never going to change and
I need to stop. One personhas to be the one to set the
(20:42):
boundary in the limit, or bothpeople decide to change and get help.
Remember the story some of you whohave been listening know the story of Jenny
and Jimmy. And Jenny and Jimmywere they Jenny would shut down and get
(21:04):
quiet, and what you are shewould go into freeze, and Jimmy would
be aggressive and scream and yell,and they wouldn't have lasted if they both
didn't decide to get the help thatthey needed. And so that's what happens.
(21:27):
So and let me just the consciousmind is the part of you that
this is my psych one oh onelesson. This conscious mind is the part
of you that chose to be here, whether you're listening live or tuning in
at a later time. Thank you, conscious mind of yours, your subconscious
(21:49):
or unconscious mind, and I'm usingthem interchangeably. Is the part of you
from the moment you will conceived topresent time that was recorded every moment,
all the beliefs and including limiting beliefsand emotions that no longer serve you or
that may be hurting you or sabotagingyou, are all in your subconscious mind.
(22:15):
So when you have people that arein your life and you go back
and forth on some level, theymay be serving some kind of subconscious need.
The lessons are not over or andor you're still in the growth process
(22:42):
with either yourself or them, andperhaps they may end up moving and growing
with you. So it all dependson and this is really important for you
to become aware of what's more,aware of what you need in the journey
(23:04):
of relationships, and that includes notonly partnerships but friendships. I know because
I've been in unhealthy friendships. AndI will tell you I was in a
very unhealthy friendship for years and thenI was like, I couldn't end it,
talk about the yo yo. Andfinally my intuition, my guidance said
(23:32):
done, no more, no more. It was like there was a completion
and an energy of completion, andI knew that the relationship was done and
I could not stay in this relationshipthat was too toxic, and I ended
it and I never spoke to theIt was a friendship, and I never
spoke to the person again. Godbless her now she's now in heaven.
(23:55):
But anyway, so that's what happenswhen relationships with relationships, and you need
to make those decisions, and Ialways support you to make them from an
intuitive place. So hopefully that washelpful and made it okay. So what
(24:18):
was the next one? What ifpeople are only giving their opinions based on
what they have to gain? Soif people are giving their opinions on what
they have to gain. And Iam going to tell you, if you
think about it, most people functionlike this. Most people are coming from
(24:44):
their need, what they want,how it's going to serve them. Now,
some people are more toxic, moreneedy than others, and so what
happens is ultimately and that's why youneed to tune into you and what you
(25:11):
need. That's why it's about thatconscious awareness and realizing are you getting triggered
maybe on an intuitive subconscious level.You know they're trying to fill their needs,
not yours. Now, if aperson is getting healthier and healthier,
then you're going to be able totalk it through, work it out.
(25:33):
Because here's the thing. Everybody ina relationship once their needs met. It's
actually that's usually what happens when we'rein relationships. We all want our needs
met. And the healthier relationships arethe relationships where you can sit down and
have a conversation and talk it throughand be able to work it out.
(26:00):
Now, if somebody is not willingto talk it out or work it through,
then you need to look at howmuch do you want to be in
relationship with them? Is it servingyou to be in relationship with them,
and what you need to do foryour self care to take care of yourself
(26:22):
in this relationship. So, andI want to let you know that tomorrow
I'm actually doing a master class forhelping you to gain the calm, because
it is in the calm that youcan find a way to tune into your
(26:49):
intuition. It is in the calmplace that your intuition is talking to you
and that you can here feel senseand know it. So join me tomorrow
for three Keys to Calm for youand your clients. And join us for
(27:11):
this masterclass It's at twelve pm Easterntomorrow, and learn how to break free
from a stressed out mindset. Uncoverstrategies that will help you uncover the blocks
that have been holding you back fromcreating peace and calm. Learn how to
(27:33):
harness the power of your intuition forclarity. Uncover the secrets of your intuitive
wisdom that can guide you towards clarityand help you navigate uncertainty with confidence and
purpose. And then learn practical toolsfor daily tranquility. Learn the skills needed
(27:56):
to maintain a calm and centered eventhough life may have many uncertainties Rebel,
can you put the link in thechat? And Inspired and Empowered Living dot
(28:17):
Com from Forward Slash master Class again, Inspired and Empowered Living dot Com Forward
Slash master Class. Thank you.Okay, so let's go back to the
(28:48):
questions. Okay, does it meanthey are dysfunctional or just greedy? So
here's the thing. What's really importantfor all of you to know is that
if you even think of your ownself, you are human, and so
(29:12):
are the people in your life.And there may be times you may feel
that they're greedy. There may betimes that you feel they're dysfunctional. And
all of us have somehow acted fromplaces and spaces that maybe we didn't wish
(29:38):
we hadn't. How many of youhave put your foot in the mouth and
you're like, oh, what didI say that I know I have?
And then or what about if youknow, like you did something and then
you later regretted it. We arehuman, and so know that the people
(30:02):
in your life are human too.Now there are going to be times where
they may or may not. Youknow, it may come from this dysfunctional
place. Greedy is part of dysfunction. It's an ego place. And what's
(30:22):
important for you to decide for youis if this person they may be dysfunctional,
but you may love them, andthey may have a lot of good
qualities, and they may be willing. Maybe they're working on themselves and they're
willing to grow, and you canhave a conversation and maybe you're growing together.
(30:48):
And then you may to say,you know what, this is a
person I want to work through thingsthrough. Whether it's a partner, an
ex, a friend, family member, or then there is if they're really
toxic and really dysfunctional and they bringyou down and it's not either a you
(31:15):
limit your time with them, orif you feel like you need to end
it, you end it. It'sreally important for you again to really tune
into you and ask and pray what'sgoing to serve you to take care of
(31:37):
yourself. That's what I want tosupport you to do. Okay, So
what's next? All right? Iknew you were talking dysfunctional, misty,
don't worry, I got it.How do you know we are making the
(32:01):
right choices and going for the correctgoal. So going for the right choices
and the correct goal any of us, and this is about being human again.
We are all on a journey andwe're all doing believe it or not,
(32:22):
even when you don't feel like youare. What I want to support
you and remembering is that you aredoing the best that you know how to
do in the moment with the situations. And if you're on the path of
growth and you're learning and you're growing, you're in the journey. And what
(32:45):
I want to support you in rememberingis that you are in the journey of
learning. And so you may makea choice and either a it may feel
like the right choice at the moment, and then you may later regret it,
(33:07):
or you may make the right otherchoice and then you're like, yes,
I got it right. But here'sthe thing. Even if you make
a mistake with a choice, themost important question that you can ask yourself
is what are you learning from thisexperience? What opportunity? Because even if
(33:35):
you make a mistake or you makea wrong choice, or you make something
and you're like, why didn't Ido that? Why didn't I change it?
And then you can say, oh, now I understand, and it's
(34:00):
really interesting. I really want tosupport I really want to thank you all
because doing this show makes such adifference for me and I get insights and
downloads while I'm sharing with you,and so I want you to know that
(34:22):
I, look, I'm still onmy journey too, and I've made some
decisions, like a couple of monthsabout my health. And it was last
night I was like, why whydidn't I do that instead of this?
And in this moment, what Irealized was what was the opportunity? What
(34:46):
did I learn from the experience?And what I learned is and I'll share
this with you. What I learnedis is that I wasn't ready to let
go. I wanted a let goin a conscious You know how I'm always
(35:07):
talking about the conscious mind and thesubconscious mind. My conscious mind wants one
thing and my subconscious wanted another.And I'm going to tell you the subconscious
mind always wins. And that's whyit's so important to clear your energy and
to clear your stuff, because thatway you can move towards the past so
(35:31):
they come into alignment, and thenyou're in alignment, and then you're on
the path together to create what youwant in your life, towards the goals
and the dreams. And I alsowant you to know that we're definitely going
to be talking more about goals anddreams in the new year, because I
(35:52):
always like to start the new yearto support you. So just giving you
a heads up. So just wantedto let you know that, Okay,
friend enemy is a thing that peopledon't always know they are dealing with.
Yeah, it's true. Sometimes youdon't know. You think that the person's
(36:14):
your friend, but if they're talkingbehind your back or doing things against you,
then it's not necessarily a friend.And sometimes you don't always know.
So I just really want to supportall of you in just tuning in to
(36:37):
what again, it's learning to tapinto that intuition, learning to tap in
to that place of inner knowing,because on some level you know when something
doesn't feel right. And that's whatI want to support you in doing,
(36:58):
is to listen to yourself. Andsometimes you know, you don't always want
to make us snap judgment and youmay want to keep somebody at a distance.
It's really like, really to reducethe relationship stress is really helping you
to understand what is it you needto do in this relationship for yourself that
(37:25):
will support you overall. So Ijust want to let you know that,
Okay, So all right, Mistysays, do you find that when both
(37:46):
can't get what they want is thestart of a breakdown of a relationship,
especially if they think they want isin different directions. Okay, so if
both and here's the thing, we'retalking about different levels. If both of
(38:07):
you don't get what you want,your needs are different. Your needs are
changing, and what happened was maybewhen you first came together, your needs
were in sync, and now eachof your needs are changing. Because that
sometimes happens, that relationships will eithergrow with you as you go and grow,
(38:32):
or the relationship may need to endnow. If you're both not getting
what you want, you have choices. You can choose to go for help
and go for couple counseling to seeif you can save the relationship and find
(38:57):
ways to meet each other's needs.If one or both of you are not
willing to go to counseling, thenthen you need to look at what's keeping
you in this relationship. If yourneeds are not being met and their needs
(39:19):
are not being met, then askyourself what's keeping me in this relationship?
What purpose is this relationship serving?And if you find that it's not really
serving you anymore, then it maybe time to leave but there may be
(39:43):
a thing, or maybe there's somethings you're still learning in the relationship.
Maybe even though you're both not gettingyour needs met, maybe you're hanging in
there to see if one or bothof you can find a way to make
it work and get one of bothof you your needs met. And ultimately
you want both of you to haveyour needs met finding a way to make
(40:07):
your needs met. Really want tosupport you and doing that. So if
you want different, if different directions, like that was what happened with me
and my ex husband. What happenedwas I was going one way and he
(40:28):
was going another and it wasn't working. So so definitely about really tuning in
what do you need and is itgoing to work? Okay, this will
be the last question. Any otherquestions that come in will cover them next
week. Is it possible to seethe signs of relationship is going in opposite
(40:52):
directions and if caught in the time, can it be fixed. Yes,
If if you see that a relationshipis going in different directions, but one
of both of you, hopefully bothof you are willing to work on it,
it can be caught in time.Things can totally shift in relationships.
(41:17):
It really makes a difference if apartner or a friend is willing to do
the work, and even friendships,if you really care about somebody, I
love somebody and that friendship means alot to you, then you're willing to
(41:37):
do the work it takes on yourself, and the other person's willing to work
on their self, the relationship canturn around. I gave you an example,
and it was and I used apseudooname. So sometimes I use different
(42:00):
names, but anyway, so Itoday I'm using Samantha. So Samantha was
in the relationship with her husband andthey were very angry and it looked like
they were heading for divorce. Andshe and I were working together and we
(42:22):
started working on her issues and shestarted communicating with him in healthy ways.
And now their relationship, they're stilltogether. They never got a divorce.
She made the choice to stay becauseit started working. Her anger went down
and it started working better. Nowis the relationship perfect, No, it's
(42:46):
not perfect, but it is goingto be something that will help them to
really move forward. Because she,Samantha, chose to make the changes,
(43:07):
the relationship changed, and that's whatcan happen. But remember that in Samantha's
relationship, her husband John was willingto listen. He was willing to listen
(43:28):
to and to grow with her,and so their relationship was able to be
saved. So it's really about youhaving conversations. Sometimes they're going to be
hard conversations. So I know morequestions came in and I'm going to answer
them next week. We'll start theshow off next week with your questions.
(43:50):
You know, I love your questions, So thank you for your questions.
So know that relationships can be savedif one or both people are willing to
work on themselves and take a lookat what's happening. So we're going to
(44:10):
tune in. We're going to continuethis next week More Inspired and Empowered Living.
What I may do is we maydo relationship stress or I have to,
or it may be dealing with justhelping you to resolve overall stress for
(44:31):
the holidays. But your questions willbe answered, and so join us next
week. Join us next week forMore Inspired and Empowered Living. We're live
Tuesdays at eleven am Eastern on talkfor TV dot com, W four WN
(44:54):
dot com, my YouTube channel,and you can listen to the podcast on
iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Appleand Amazon and more. So join us
next week for more inspired and empoweredliving, and I wish you all an
(45:17):
inspired, an empowered day and aninspired and empowered week. Have a great
one, everybody buy for now
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