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December 3, 2024 45 mins
Continuing where we left off last week … Are there some people in your life that you are not looking forward to seeing during the holidays? Find out how to manage your relationship stress and live an inspired and empowered life!
You can also learn:
3 Principles of how to boost your self-care and be more centered and calmer during the holidays
How to deal more effectively with difficult people.
Discover the #1 mistake that would keep you having healthier relationships

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. We are live Tuesday mornings at
eleven am Eastern on talk for TV dot com, W
four WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today

(01:15):
we will be continuing to talk about reducing relationship stress
during the holidays, and this one is also for all
Yale long so stay tuned. Are there some people in
your life that you are not looking forward to seeing

(01:39):
during the holidays? Find out how to manage your relationship
stress and live and inspired and Empowered life. You can
also learn three principles of how to boost your self care,
discover how do more effectively deal with difficult people, and

(02:05):
the number one mistake that would keep you from having
healthier relationships. And together, let's create a life you love.
And I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch, licensed clinical social worker,
certified hypnotherapist, and intuitive breakthrough expert. I combuiny my counseling, coaching,

(02:30):
and intuition to transform your life. And this show is
not a replacement for therapy or counseling. It is for
educational purposes only. So so last Country Corner said, I

(02:54):
didn't bring anything to write on. Well, if you have
your phone, then do you bring your phone or you
can always come back to a later time because remember
the show is on YouTube after the fact, so if
you miss something, you can always go back. And also

(03:18):
know that we also had the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple, Pandora, Amazon,
so you can find us if you need to. And
I love that you want to take notes during the
show because my goal is to really help you to

(03:40):
change your life so that you are living and inspired
an avowed life. So listen intently, ask your questions, and
if you you can always come back. Okay, So thank
you for letting me know, because then I got to
say all that. Okay, So relationships, Before we go deep

(04:08):
into today's show, I want to do my psych one
on one lesson because we're going to be talking about
the different states of our mind. Now your I usually
talk about three minds. You have your conscious mind. Your
conscious mind is the part of you that decided to

(04:31):
tune in today. Thank you conscious mind of yours. Your
sub conscious mind is the part of you from the
moment you were conceived to present time that you have.
You have recorded every moment that you've been alive. And

(04:55):
so when there's limiting beliefs, when there's emotions, or when
there's trauma patterns, those live in your subconscious mind. And
when we're talking about relationships, what very often happens is
if there's unresolved stuff in issues, in limiting beliefs, emotions

(05:21):
in your subconscious mind about relationships, they will show up
in your relationships in current time, even though they are
from the past. So that's why it's really important to
have that awareness and to know and to be aware

(05:42):
of what you need in order to help heal yourself
and your relationships. So Anastasia says, oh, yeah, I have
a note thing on my phone. Good idea, All right,
thank you anaesthesia. Mickey says, if you have a head injury,

(06:06):
can that damage those memories in the subconscious So if
you have a head injury, those memories in your subconscious
are there, Okay, So the head injury wouldn't affect those
memories although okay, although even people who have amnesia. And

(06:29):
now this is I'm not a doctor or scientists or
researcher about the anesia or anything, but what I believe
is that the information will still be in the subconscious mind,
but you can't recall it in your conscious mind. There's

(06:51):
a disconnection that happens. And it also depends on the
brain injury and what happens. I mean, a lot of
what goes on has to do with the type of
brain injury that there is, so that may or may
not happen. Now, the other thing that I want to

(07:16):
support you all and knowing is the super conscious mind.
Remember I said there were three, and your super conscious
mind is your access your action, access to your unlimitedness,
your access to what I call your higher self, that
higher wise loving part of you that's there for the asking.

(07:38):
Your access to your soul and the universe, and being
able to connect with your angels and your guides and
beings of light and all these beings that are here
for the asking. And so what I want to remind
you is is that you can ask for help to

(08:02):
keep connecting to the higher aspect super conscious mind. And
it takes practice and work, but learning to connect with
that super conscious mind empowers you to change your life
and to change yourself and your relationships. And misty asks,

(08:27):
do we ever gain control of access to these three? Yes,
I can tell you that there are people that very
much are in control of their three minds. And here's

(08:49):
the thing. Your subconscious mind is a very powerful part
of you. It's not the bad guy. So I just
want to remind you that it's really the part. I mean,
without our subconscious mine, we wouldn't automatically be breathing and
our heartbeat. And I mean that's your subconscious or your
unconscious mind takes care of all of that for you,

(09:10):
so you don't have to think about it. What happens
is is that as you gain more and more access
to your super consciousness, your super conscious mind, your higher self,
the higher parts of you. What happens is is that

(09:32):
as you do that, you gain more access to all
parts of you. What happens is there's an alignment alignment
of body, mind, emotion, spirit, alignment of your conscious, your
subconscious and your super conscious minds. And so what happens
is you are able to function more effectively in your life.

(10:00):
So that's the power of being able to work with
your super conscious mind and to work on gaining control
or let's how about mastery or gaining what's another word
for control, gaining the ability? How about this gaining the

(10:23):
ability to access and choose your mind or what you
or information or the things that you need at Well,
how about that. We're going to change that word because
the word control can have a negative connotation. And the

(10:46):
power that you have when you start being in more
of your higher consciousness is infinite. It's amazing synchrony cities
and coincidences. I see, Missy says, does any of these
three have power over the others? Okay, so your super

(11:11):
conscious mind. To me, your super conscious mind is the
ultimate master control factory. Now here's the thing. Because you
have free will, and free will gives us the ability

(11:37):
to choose or not to choose. Because you have free will,
you your super conscious mind can take a back seat
until you are ready and willing to work with it

(12:01):
more frequently. And one of the ways to do that
is meditation or types of meditation or prayer, spiritual things
that help support you in gaining more connection to that mind.
Now the other mind that's really important, Now, your subconscious

(12:23):
mind basically your thoughts, your behaviors, your emotions. When you
go on automatic and you get triggered, now, this is
what I was going to talk about in this segment
on relationships. When you get triggered by a person that
is your subconscious mind. You're going on automatic. Now if

(12:51):
as you gain as you gain the ability to excuse me.
As you gain the ability and you have the awareness,
this is why your conscious mind is actually so powerful,

(13:12):
because it is your conscious mind that gives you the
power to make the conscious choices to access your subconscious
mind and your super conscious mind. It is your conscious
mind that empowers you to change your life. And it

(13:34):
makes us different than the animal kingdom because we have
a thinking mind, even though your subconscious mind is that instinctual,
emotional part of you that reacts to people and relationships,
and you being able to take your power back as

(13:57):
you saying with your conscious awareness mind saying you know
what this, I've gotten triggered by this person in my
family or one of my friends, or something has happened,
and then making a conscious choice what do I do

(14:17):
about this? And it's asking questions. It's asking questions, and
I'll get to the question Okay, I'll get to those
questions very shortly, and so know that each of these
minds is really important. Your conscious mind gives you the

(14:40):
power and the ability to make those decisions as you
gain awareness. That's why conscious awareness is so crucial and
so important, because as you gain conscious awareness, you can
make conscious decisions and decide what you choose to do

(15:03):
or not do with the situation at hand. Your subconscious
mind is the reactor, but it's a powerful reactor and
your super conscious mind when in connection with the other two,
when you have when you consciously choose to say I

(15:27):
want to heal, I want to heal the old trauma,
the old limiting beliefs, the old emotions, and you work
on healing yourself on those deeper levels. That's when you
open up even more to the super conscious mind and
the alignment starts to happen more easily. And that's why

(15:49):
healing those places in your subconscious mind is so crucial.
But before you can even heal it, you have to
know that it exists. That's why conscious awareness and starting
to observe yourself, starting to observe your thoughts, your behaviors,
the things that happen for you Okay, so that's really

(16:11):
important when we're talking about reducing relationship stress. This is
a really powerful discussion for reducing relationship stress because the
more you take your power back and the more you
understand what your triggers are and how your triggers affect you,

(16:34):
and you work on healing and clearing the energy, then
you end up becoming more conscious of how you choose
to be in any situation. That was a powerful statement
I just said, And so to sum it up, conscious

(16:58):
awareness gives you the power, empowers you to make a
choice of how you choose to be, and the more
that you do your healing work, the more you are
empowered to make those choices. Because usually when we react
and listen, every single one of us reacts. We're all human.

(17:21):
It's part of being human. What empowers you is becoming
more aware so that then you can make those conscious choices. Okay,
so I know we got lots of questions, so let's
go to those questions. The next question was from Country Corners,
Why so many bad decisions if there is a stronger

(17:45):
of them? Okay, So what happens is, I'll give you
the stat When I found out this stat, it totally
blew me away. Ninety five percent of your thoughts, your behaviors,

(18:11):
your emotions, when you react, when you get triggered as
you're living your life, most of the time, ninety five
percent of the time you are in that subconscious reaction.
And so when you make a bad decision, you're making

(18:35):
the bad decision from the subconscious mind place. Now, the
subconscious mind, to me, it's such a fascinating it's amazing.
It's an amazing storehouse. And what happens with the subconscious
mind is it just replays patterns. So when you had
a trauma pattern from when you were a kid, like

(18:58):
for example, I'll give you an suppose you grew up
in a family whether it was domestic violence, okay, and
you watched it as you were getting you know, watched
it as you were growing up. And when you grow up,

(19:21):
if you don't do heal and work on those that
trauma pattern because that is trauma. Watching violence, whether it's
done to you or you're watching it can still be traumatizing.
And so you may have watched it, you may have

(19:43):
had some kind of trauma. Maybe you were physically abused,
or there was sexual molestation, any or there was emotional,
because emotional when when you see a parent or a
caretaker degrading or beating up and I'm putting that in

(20:08):
quotes on your let's say mother or your father a
lot of times and ends up being the mother. But
there are a lot of men that have had situations
where they end up being the one. So and then
what happens is you grow up and you know, and

(20:30):
you get into a relationship and you're in the honeymoon
and it's all nice and sweet, and then all of
a sudden, that person starts hurting you. Now they may
be emotionally hurt, they may have started with emotional and
maybe that it even gets physical. What happens is that

(20:50):
is because on the subconscious level, you're replaying the pattern,
and once you start becoming kind, it's just an aware
Oh this is an old pattern. I don't want to
keep replaying this. What do I do? What you do
is you say to yourself, what do I need to
do to take care of myself? So it may be

(21:14):
to get yourself away from that person, or it may
be you may need to leave the relationship, or if
that person is willing to work on it, you go
into counseling together, or you go into counseling for yourself

(21:35):
to have the ability and the courage to be able
to say no more. And so those bad decisions are
coming from the subconscious part of you. Now that's an
example a relationship, and that's an extreme example, but there

(21:58):
may not be. So if you watched one of your
parents just being sarcastic, maybe you've become sarcastic yourself. But
that sarcasm can hurt, and you end up being sarcastic
with people that you love and then they get hurt

(22:20):
and you don't understand, or you end up being with
someone or having sarcastic people in your life and it
hurts because I will tell you, sarcasm is not oh,
I was only kidding. There is anger under sarcasm, and

(22:40):
it's acting. The sarcasm is a way of acting anger out.
And so that's why it's so important to understand and
become aware of what's going on in your environment and
how your relationships are you now and what happened to you,

(23:03):
and how what happened to you when you were a
child with a parent or parents or caretakers affects you today.
So bad decisions subconscious mind. And your subconscious mind doesn't
do it on purpose. It's like it's it's like a

(23:26):
computer program. The computer programs. Computer programs don't do things
on purpose, they just do they run. That's your subconscious mind.
But the empowering thing here that I want you to
all know is that you can reprogram your subconscious mind.

(23:46):
You can heal your subconscious mind, and when you do,
miracles ac car in your life and in your relationships.
I've watched it happen with my clients. I've watched it
happen with myself. So I really want to empower you
to know that you can reprogram your subconscious mind. Okay,

(24:12):
so let's go to the next Nicky Nicky's question, Nicky,
what part are the triggers kept in and why do
they seem to have more control over us? So? What

(24:33):
part are the triggers? What part are the triggers kept
in and why do they seem to have more control
over us? Okay, So the triggers are the reactions, are
the emotional reactions that happen immediately. It's it's your your

(24:56):
subconscious mind as goes on automatic. You're on automatic. So
let's say let's say you're going to a party or
a gathering for the holidays or anytime during the year,
because this goes throughout the whole year. What I'm teaching
you and what I'm talking about is all year long.

(25:18):
It may get escalated because there may be more parties
during the holidays or more social engagements, but it happens
or you alone. So you're going to a party and
you go to the party and there's someone you know
there and you don't want to see them because that

(25:45):
there's things they really trigger you, and they trigger you
like you have a reaction to them. Now, your job
is to understand what are they triggering? What's going on
inside of you that this person is triggering. Have you

(26:11):
watched them to be mean to certain people they Have
you had a negative interaction with them? Were they sarcastic
or obnoxious or mean to you? Or have you had

(26:35):
an experience and they may remind you of someone else,
And so they may remind you of a parent or
a caretaker just the way they hold themselves. The energy
you may have not even had. This is so amazing,
but your subconscious mind picks up energy, picks up clues,
picks up body language, and within seconds, and you make

(27:03):
assessments of people based on that. So you may not
even even met this person and you may like a
lot dislike them based on a trigger or a feeling
or an emotion that you had in the past. And

(27:24):
so so this is about understanding yourself better, understanding how
the triggers, how the triggers affect you, what what's being triggered,

(27:47):
And it's asking yourself questions, what if the situation, did
they do something that triggered you? And and did they
do something that triggered you? And what did they do

(28:12):
what feelings? Start looking at the feelings that came up
for you in interacting with them or in the interaction.
So suppose you're in talking to somebody and they say
something or do something and you get really angry, and
so know that you reacted they did something like let's

(28:38):
say they said something to you and you felt really
disrespected and so you got really angry, and so for you,
it would be healing that place where you felt disrespected,
where it began. And so hopefully Nicky, that helps you understand.

(29:09):
If you have any other questions about that, let me know.
And I know we have a question from Charles, but
let me ask is that fair to ourselves? Is what
their so Country Corners Gazette the person who asks that,
can you be more specific? What is what fair to yourself? Okay?

(29:30):
I want to understand more and right now what I
want to share with you is I am going to
have a master class next week for women coaches, healers,
therapists and healing professionals or entrepreneurs. Three steps to boost

(29:55):
your income in your holistic business. Discover your soul calling,
break free from limiting beliefs that would keep you from
earning more money, and get into action and learn how
you can make more money and turn your dreams into reality.

(30:18):
And so that this virtual masterclass is next Wednesday, December eleventh,
seven point thirty pm. So I hope you'll join us
and go to Inspired and Empoweredliving dot com Forward Slash

(30:41):
Masterclass Inspired and Empowered Living dot com Forward Slash Masterclass
and looking forward to seeing you there. Okay, So, so

(31:03):
let's get to Charles's question. Do you feel people have
a hard time accessing the ability to use these different
states of consciousness? So I wouldn't say that people have

(31:25):
a hard time. What I would say is that it
takes work. It's a journey. Remember it's a journey, and
you're in the destination of inspiring and empowering your life,
and so it's going to take time. It takes work,

(31:49):
it takes commitment, and it takes courage because it takes
courage to look at yourself to understand why or what
triggered you, what's going on for you, And it takes

(32:11):
courage to heal it because some of those memories, some
of those places, some of those times were not pleasant,
and it totally what's the word, I'm in awe of

(32:33):
my clients. I take them on the journey of healing,
and when they are willing to go to those places
that are hard to go back to to heal, then
I watch the transformation happen. Now, do you always have

(32:55):
to go back? Not always, But it's really important to
have the self discovery and the awareness that you have
to understand your triggers so that when a trigger happens,

(33:29):
I'm not going to react to this person. I am
choosing two two be in a different state. I am
choosing to breathe. I am choosing to understand what the

(33:50):
reaction and if it's someone that's close to you, then
you may want to go back, go back and understand
what God triggered. Once you understand what go trigger, then

(34:12):
you can make a choice to have a communication with
that person. If you're really close to that person, I
really want to support you. If it's getting in the
way of your relationship and you want the relationship to
continue to get better, then then you definitely want to

(34:34):
have a conversation. However, if it's someone that you don't
care about and you may not want to continue to
have a relationship, but you make a choice. You make
a choice and you say to yourself, I want to discover.

(35:02):
I want to discover what the trigger was for me,
because it's not about the person, it's about you. And
that way, when that trigger happens again, you may not
have to react the way that you did with that person.

(35:23):
So again it's not about the people at the parties
or the events. The most important and this is the
number one the number one mistake that would keep you
from having healthier relationships is not being self aware and

(35:49):
not working on healing yourself. Because the more that you
heal and the more you feel, the more you can
have those healthier, loving, joyful relationships. And that's what you want,
oh year long, not just during the holidays. Okay. So

(36:16):
so Charles, hopefully that answered your question. And and country Corners,
I didn't see is that fair to ourselves? So I
don't know if what exactly you're saying is it fair

(36:40):
or not fair to yourself. So I can't really answer
the question until I know what we were talking about
or what you were asking. Okay, So so really good
important in from nation Okay, So in relationships, all right,

(37:07):
what you want to remember, and this is what I
was just saying, but I'm making another point of it
because I'm saying it in a different way. For you
to remember what happens, what they do or not do

(37:28):
is actually not about you, all right. Now that's a
real big one. Okay. What that person does or does
not do, how they act, what they say, you may
trigger them. But the bottom line is they are a

(37:51):
product of their subconscious mind just as much as you are.
And if they're behaving badly, if they are being obnoxious
or mean, or or I see it come in, I'll
get to it in a sect. If they're doing something,

(38:11):
they're doing something and that triggers you. Remember that's who
they are. Now, maybe you've triggered them. But the bottom
line is they are who they are. It's coming from
their subconscious mind, and you are getting triggered, which is

(38:36):
coming from your subconscious mind. So the most important thing
is is for you to gain the awareness of what
the trigger is. So hopefully that was helpful. Now I
know the answer to what I was asking before Country
corners not having the ability ability to control access to

(38:57):
the things stored or what we store. Okay, so here's
the thing. Is it fair to ourselves not to have
the ability to control. Well, there is some ability to control,
because when you do, when you start gaining more and

(39:18):
more and you feel more empowered, you can start changing
how you do your life or how you access it.
But I also want to remind you that your conscious
mind could not function. That's the power of the subconscious mind.

(39:42):
That it's the storehouse, it's the memory, it's the memory
card or the programming. You could not be functionally functionally.
I can't even say it functioning, functioning effect actively. I
was combining the two words. See, you could not function

(40:05):
effectively if you had access to all the information in
your subconscious mind. Remember to me, it's actually amazing, it's
miraculous that everything that we have ever experienced in this lifetime,

(40:26):
in past lives, and in your ancestral history are all
in your subconscious mind. That's pretty amazing. So if you
had access to it and had access to all of it,
you would go on overload. You wouldn't be able to
function in your life. So it's actually divinely perfect that

(40:53):
it happens the way that it does. And what happens
is as you do the healing, and as you start
getting in touch more and more with the things that
trigger you and then you work on healing them and resolving,

(41:14):
you gain more and more access to the empowered being
that you are. What blocks you from accessing and being
that being are those old programs and patterns that can Okay,
this is really important, that can be healed, that can

(41:39):
be cleared so that you can live and inspired and
empowered life. That's the bottom line, and so I really
want you old to know that that's that's what it's

(42:01):
all about. So we are going to continue this discussion
next week as well. There's a lot more that I
want to share with you. How to reduce your stress,
how to reduce your relationship stress, any stress that you
have around the holidays. And this show is not only

(42:24):
for the holidays, because everything that I'm sharing with you
is for all year long. Okay, So next week we'll
do part three, or we may name it a little
bit different, but it's basically a continuation of what we

(42:47):
do now. You want to come to my masterclass next Wednesday,
December eleventh. Three steps to boost your income in your
holistic business and it's for you women, coaches, healers, therapists, entrepreneurs.

(43:07):
Three steps to boost your income in your holistic business.
Go to Inspired and Empowered Living dot com, forward Slash
master Class master class and Rebel put the link in
the chat. And I really want to support you in

(43:30):
remembering ultimately that you do have control, more control than
you realize. When you empower yourself, when you become more
consciously aware and you make decisions that will help you
to heal those patterns where you go on automatic. So
that's really important for you to remember and that you

(43:55):
are and you can be more empowered. And I want
to empower you to know that you can change your life,
you can have healthier relationships, you can have all that
you want. And it's a journey, it's a process, and

(44:15):
you deserve to have it, and so I wish you remember. Oh,
I want to remind you that you can find We're
live on Tuesday mornings at eleven am Eastern on Top
four TV dot com, W four WN dot com, my
YouTube channel, and you can find the podcasts on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon,

(44:46):
and many more. And I wish you an inspired and
empowered day, an inspired and empowered week. Have a great one.
Everybody buy from now at the

Speaker 1 (45:16):
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