May 1, 2025 • 42 mins
Your voice is more than just words — it's how you lead, inspire, and magnetize your dream clients.
In this episode of Inspired & Empowered Living, I’m sharing soulful strategies and intuitive tools to help you:
Speak with confidence
Communicate with compassion
Share your truth with clarity and purpose
If you've ever felt afraid to speak up, struggled to articulate your value, or held back your message—this one's for you. Your voice is your power. Let’s activate it.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
In this episode of Inspired & Empowered Living, I’m sharing soulful strategies and intuitive tools to help you:
Speak with confidence
Communicate with compassion
Share your truth with clarity and purpose
If you've ever felt afraid to speak up, struggled to articulate your value, or held back your message—this one's for you. Your voice is your power. Let’s activate it.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. And we are Thursdays at five
pm Eastern on talk for TV dot com, W FOURWN
dot com and my YouTube channel. And today we are
(01:12):
talking about the power of your voice communicate with confidence,
clarity and compassion. And so today's episode is part two
and we're going to continue where we left off last week,
(01:33):
which was a question and I'll get specific around the
question around judgment. So we're going to be talking today
about the blocks to communicating with confidence, clarity and compassion.
So stay tuned and learn about the blocks and how
to clear them. And I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch, licensed
(01:57):
clinical social worker, certified HITNO Therapist, an intuitive business expert.
I can buy my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to
transform your life and help women take their business to
the next level or create a successful holistic business. And
(02:22):
this show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
It is for educational purposes only. So we are going
to get to last week. Anestasia asked the question, and
of course, you know, I love your question, so definitely
(02:45):
keep bringing them in, asking your questions about anything that
I'm talking about or comments anything that occurs to you.
So Anastasia said, why do we care so much of
out what others think of us? Now? This question came
after I started talking about judgment and how judgment. What
(03:13):
happens is when we had the fear of judgment, and
the fear of judgment is old, it is something that
we have had. It's actually the energy of fear is
actually in our DNA. It is instinctual, and it is
(03:36):
instinctual because of the stress response that fight light or
freeze reaction. And what happens is that fear of judgment
plays right into that fear reaction. So let me talk
(03:58):
a little bit. I'm gonna talk about out my psych
one oh one life and so that we're all on
the same page. So you have your conscious mind, which
is the part of you that tuned in or is
tuning in now or will be tuning in for those
of you coming later, and thank you conscious mind of yours.
And your conscious mind empowers you to make decision and
(04:23):
when you make decisions from that empowered place, it really
helps you to feel inspired and empowered. So that's your
conscious mind. Your subconscious mind, or your own conscious mind,
is the part of you from the moment you were
conceived to present. Time has recorded every moment that you
(04:48):
had been alive. And so those programs, those limiting beliefs,
those emotion that are programmed into your subconscious mind is
what would keep you from being able to use your
voice effectively, to be able to communicate with clarity, confidence,
(05:13):
and compassion. And so we're going to be talking more
about overcoming those blocks today. As I said before, the
first one being the fear of judgment. And then you
have your super conscious mind, which is the part of
you that is connected to your higher aspects of self,
your higher self, your soul, and your intuition comes from
(05:38):
connecting with your higher self, and your soul and your
angels and guides and beings of light are all part
of that super conscious mind of yours. And so you
want to be learning to really when you're in alignment,
that's when you're communicating with confidence, clarity, and compassion, and
(06:04):
that's what we're going to continue to talk about. Do that.
So the question that Anesthesia asked specifically is why do
we care so much about what others think of us?
And we care because of that fear reaction. Like I
(06:27):
talked before about that stress reaction, that energy of fear
is so instinctual and so deeply ingrained in us that
we are reacting from it all the time, even when
you don't even realize that you're reacting. So let's talk
(06:47):
a little bit about more about what else, what else happens,
and why you would have that fear of judgment. So
and I talked a little bit about this at the
end of the show, but I wanted to bring it
up again because it's such a crucial and important piece
And that sub conscious mind of yours, as I said,
(07:12):
is recorded everything that has gone on for you. And
what happens is that when you were growing up from
past conditioning, so it could be growing up from your childhood,
your teenage years. Teenagers are really scared of that judgment.
(07:33):
They want that peer pressure. I mean kids, we all do,
I mean, we still want that approval. It's part of
being human. But what happens is as you heal yourself
and becoming more inspired and empowered lead you to be
able to tap in to that place of authenticity and
(07:54):
alignment so that you can speak your truth and try
us that your approval is coming from inside of you
rather than from outside of you. However, most of us,
including me, I admit it, there's still this fear of judgment.
(08:14):
Now does it get less and less and less. Yes,
because as you heal those issues where that fear of
judgment began, that's how you can let go. Now that
fear of judgment will affect you. It will affect you
in your relationships on a personal level, on a business level,
(08:37):
what happens when you have that fear of judgment, you
are afraid to speak your truth and it will affect
you in your business by not being able to speak
directly to perhaps coworkers or your team or clients or
anything like that. And then you have your personal life
(09:05):
and when you have that fear of judgment. And here's
the thing, and I also want you to know that
there's a lot of times it's not even conscious that
you go into that reactive space, and it's so reactive
it's just it happens so easily, and so it's learning
(09:25):
how to come out of that reaction space so that
you can then start taking action that feel authentic and
congruent with you and start speaking your truth and not
fearing judgment and judging and others judgment. And so what
(09:47):
happens also when you have the fear of judgment, So
you may stay quiet when you really want to speak up,
or you warded down your truth because you are afraid
of what others really think of you or feel about you,
because you want to be like so much, and you
may not be sharing who you really are, or if
(10:12):
you're as a business owner, you may not be sharing
who you are or promoting yourself in a confident way.
And so what this is all about is and here's
the other thing. The other thing about the fear of
judgment is very often it can come from feeling like
(10:35):
you have to be perfect, you have to be perfect,
and if you're not perfect, and you shouldn't be speaking
your truth, and you start comparing yourself to other people.
Now we have a comment Arnie says exactly what I post,
(10:56):
and I am doing exactly what I post and am
doing being my authentic self. So, hey, Arnie, welcome. I
want to give a shout out to you. Glad that
you're here, and I'm really excited to see you, and
I really want to acknowledge you for that you are
(11:17):
posting and being your authentic self and that is so
important and so crucial because when you are allowing yourself
to be that authentic self, you are attracting the people.
If you're in business, you're attracting the people you're meant
(11:38):
to serve. And in your personal relationships, you'll attract the
people that want to connect with you, that want to
relate to you, friends and relatives that if they don't
like what you say. Now, here's the thing when it
comes to friends and relatives, Okay, you can it can
(11:59):
be taught because you may get most of the judgment
from them. But really, I love what Arnie just said,
to thy own self be true. So Arnie just said,
to thy own self, be true, And that is what
it's about. And here's the thing. You're not going to
be able to please everyone. It's just not going to happen.
(12:24):
So if you are comparing yourself to other people or
you're trying to be perfect before you speak out and
speak up and speak your truth. Then you may never
speak your truth. And so I really want to support
all of you in being able to do that. Now.
(12:45):
Other what also happens is that when you are doing
your work and you have a certain attachment to a
certain identity. Now, okay, now here's the thing. It's learning
to be your authentic self rather than trying to be
(13:08):
that facad what you think your people or people will
will want you to say, or that or would like
you to say. When it's learning to be that authentic
self to be true, like Arnie said it, to thine
own self be true. And that is the truth. And
(13:31):
it's really important to be in that truth and come
from that truth. And when you come from that truth,
that's when you are able to connect with that authentic self,
which is really your higher self, that wise, unconditionally loving
(13:53):
part of you, or your soul, that core energy essence
of who you are are. And when you connect with
that truth of who you are and you're in alignment,
you become powerful. Your presence becomes wanting to be heard.
(14:15):
And Arnie said it. He brought in another point, you
stand in your own power. And that's what happened standing
in your own power. That's what you want. You want
to stand in your power. When you are in connection
(14:37):
with your authentic self, you're able to stand in your
power and you allow. And here's the thing, letting go
of the judgment. I see your commoner question, Missy. I'll
get to it in a sec When you allow yourself
to stand in your power, to be in alignment to
(14:57):
speak your truth, you allow your light to shine. You
allow your soul's light, the light and the love that
is who you really are at the core, your core
energy essence. You allow yourself to shine, and you stop
playing small. Whether it's in your personal life or your
(15:19):
professional life, you stop playing small, and that is how
you become empowered. Now, Missy, Misty says, you need to
know the true you in order to do this. Yes, Misty,
I agree with you. But and here's the thing. Yes
and no, And what I mean by that is, yes,
(15:42):
you want to know who the true you is. But
I also want to remind you, and all all of
you is to remind you that we're on this journey
to get to know the true us more and more
so learning how to let go of that facade or
(16:03):
the ego representation of what you think you should or
shouldn't do, and learning to tap into who you really are.
The true you is a journey and is a process
unto yourself. And it's I see Nikki your question, and
it's it's something that happens over time. It's not like
(16:26):
all of a sudden like I'm the true me. It's
this uncovering and discovering, learning to discover who you really are,
letting go of that approval, that fear of judgment is like,
it's the most amazing thing that happens. And I'm going
(16:48):
to tell you I'm still in the journey. I've been
working on this for a very long time. I haven't
gotten it all covered. I am still wanting to you know,
here's the thing and what happens is there still that
wanting of approval. And here's the thing. When you're in
(17:08):
business and you're on social media. Social media can be
a real mind like it can mess with your mind
because you want all the likes and you want the comments,
and you want the engagement. And it's about being in
the journey of trusting that the universe is bringing you
(17:33):
the alignment of who you're really meant to serve, not
one hundred thousand views, but who you're meant to serve,
and where you are right now. And when I say
where you are right now, what I mean by that
is is that. And I'll give you an example from
my own life. So I started this TV show, well
(17:54):
actually I started it a few years ago, the TV show,
but I've been doing the podcast for then many years.
And I will tell you I was being called to
do the podcast, but I didn't want you to hide.
And so I was doing the podcast, but I wasn't
doing the social media or I wasn't I wasn't doing
(18:17):
the things that I needed to do. And then as
I kept growing and healing, and as I kept feeling
more comfortable with what I was doing, I remember being guided.
I remember that still small voice inside of me saying
in the beginning, this is practice, this is your practice,
So keep going, keep going. It was like very encouraging
(18:40):
from spirit. So I was very encouraged, and so I
kept going. And what happened was I started having more
and more confidence in myself. Because what happens is as
you do, you get more confident no matter what you're
talking about, whether it's personal or professional. The more you process,
the more you want cover about yourself, The more you
(19:02):
discover about yourself, and the more actions inspired actions that
you take, the more confident you've become. And so that's
what I want to support all of you in remembering
that it is a journey and a process and not
a poof magic. You're done, and know that little by
(19:23):
little you're going to keep growing into more and more
the authentic you, the true you is, Missy said, and
learning to be able to connect more to that true you,
so you don't have to know who you're true you is.
It's about learning and discovering who you're true you is.
What are your feelings, what are your thoughts? What are
(19:47):
those intuitive impulses wanting to say to you? Because those
intuitive feelings or knowings or sensings are giving you clues
from your higher self and your all those higher aspects
of self to what your soul or what you're being
guided or what you are needing to hear in the moment.
(20:11):
And I want to get to Mickey's question, So let
me get to Mickey's question him. Mickey, so is this
living like living in the moment with what you have?
So when you are connected, when you are connected, you
are living in the moment. You when you're in that
(20:33):
place of living in the moment and you're in that
alignment and you're uncovering your authentic self, you're true you,
as Missy said, and really discovering more and more of
who you are. It's it's unfolding. You are unfolding, and
the more present that you are when you get those
(20:56):
intuitive hits, it's when you are present in the moment
that you may feel or sense or see or know
that you are in the moment because that's where your
intuition comes in the moment, and you're in that place
where you can receive the guidance from your higher self
(21:18):
and from your soul. And so living in that moment
is really important and really powerful to move you on
your journey of discovering more of who you really are.
So and also another thing about the fear of judgment
is it's the old programming. So what happens is when
(21:42):
we grow up with trauma, our nervous system gets programmed
to fear rather than love. To fear like, oh my god,
am I doing the right thing? Like I have clients
like Kathy. Kathy would be her first reaction is, oh
(22:09):
my god, I did something wrong. I did it wrong.
I'm wrong, and her nervous system goes and she what
happened for Kathy? She grew up and her mother always
criticized it, criticized her, made her wrong and made her
(22:30):
so wrong and so critical. She was so critical of
her that when she tries to do something or when
she says something or something happens, her first reaction is like,
I did it wrong. Oh my god. So Kathy and
(22:52):
I have worked together for time. As we work together,
she's been able to know that that first reaction is
coming from her old trauma, her mother. And now she
does the self talk and the self talk of saying, no,
(23:14):
we haven't done this wrong, this is okay, I can
do this, or it was really fine. And one of
the ways to talk to help yourself get out of
the fear of judgment is the powerful self talk and
what are you saying to yourself to support you in
(23:34):
being able to know you're that you got this. And
sometimes that can be really hard because if you grew
up with a little with a critical mother or father
or critical caretaker like Kathy, it can take time or
even awareness. Like we were talking about like Nicky was
(23:56):
talking about living in the moment, to be in the
moment and be aware in the moment, to notice that
you've been triggered by the fear of judgment, by that
old trauma pattern, so that you can self correct. And
so that's one of the things that you can do
(24:17):
to self correct that fear of judgment. And when you're
running your own business, that fear of judgment definitely, like
I said, the approval or the comparison, the perfection, I mean,
it can come up in so many ways. And again
it can come up in so many ways around your
personal life, like when you have that trauma reaction your
(24:42):
nervous system, that's a default and it's going to be
a process, a process to retrain your nervous system to
think differently. And that's what they now call is neuroplasticity.
Neuroplasticity is when you are creating new brain waves, new
(25:06):
neural pathways, so that you can then start reacting differently,
or I call it responding, not reacting to me. When
you're reacting, you're reacting from that subconscious mind. When you're responding,
you're responding from a very conscious, clear space. And that
(25:30):
is who you want to be, to communicate with confidence,
quarity and compactionion. So and then here's the other thing,
is this cultural conditioning and your cultural conditioning, like, for example,
for women, many of us women grew up in the era,
(25:50):
Oh no, you can't get angry. Being angry not for
women or you got it. People please. And here's the
thing I want you to know. Men have people pleasing too.
But in our culture, especially years ago, women were taught
(26:11):
to take care of others, take care of the family,
take care of everybody else but themselves, and not do
the self care to people please. And it's learning to
again correct again, noticing that you're being triggered or you're
(26:31):
reacting to old cultural conditioning. Because I want you to
all know that women and men, we have all the
same rights. You have a right to all your feelings,
all your feelings, and anger is one of those feelings
(26:52):
that it's really important to be able to learn that
you have a right to and to be able to
know that you can feel the anger and you don't
have to act on it and one of the ways
to move it through. And again I always say, feel
your feelings really important. But you want to make sure
(27:13):
that you're not hurting yourself, someone else, of the environment,
like destroying property. So that's important. And I really want
all of you to know that feeling your feelings is
really important. And I was talking about this. I don't
remember who was Lasher or the show before or whatever.
It was fairly recently where my mother I think it
(27:36):
was last week. My mother was a rager. And what
a rager is is they react to every little thing.
She would be overwhelmed. There were three of us. I
was the oldest, and she would react. She would react
to everything. I felt like I had a walk on
eggshell to try to please her. It is with people
(27:58):
pleasing and come in. And I was terrified of anger
because when she would go into the rages, I didn't
know if she would hurt me or hit me or whatever.
I and so there was this major fear fact and
so so no, those trauma reaction can still rule you today.
(28:25):
And I had to work a long time to be
able to feel my anger, to know it was safe
to feel my anger and to connect with it in
a healthy way. And I want you to know, like
when you're feeling a feeling, when whatever that feeling is
(28:45):
is that you can breathe through it, and you can
ask you can ask your higher self and your soul
and the universe, your angels, your guides to help you
release it. But it's important to acknowledge it and not
try to deny it or suppress it, because what happens
if you're doing that, that can lead to symptoms and
(29:06):
that fear of judgment, and that fear is all part
of what happened. And so I really want to support
all of you in remembering and knowing that it's okay
to breathe, to ground yourself, to move through and allow
that anger. A lot of times what I'll tell a
(29:29):
client to do is to go to the gym and
move it through your body. Or I used to have
a client that would run it out. So find your way,
your tool to move the emotions through your body, because
it's when you move the emotions through your body that
you can get back into the alignment. You get back
(29:51):
into that place of centeredness and peace, which is where
that power of your voice and come through in a confident,
clear and compassionate way. And I want to share with
you that I have a meditation and that meditation is
(30:16):
it those takes you through the process of clearing, connecting
with your higher self and asking a question so that
you can receive an intuitive answer that you can make
your best decisions using this meditation. And I have it
in a MP three format so you can listen to it,
(30:39):
or I have a PDF if you want to read
it breathe through it, because you want to be able
to allow yourself to connect, to clear connect and allow
that information to come through. So the name of the
go to the name of the show, Inspired and Empowered
Living dot Forward slash Meditation Meditation n E d I
(31:07):
t A t io n so Inspired and Empowered Living
dot com Forward slash Meditation N E d I t
A t i o n okay. So. I wanted to
(31:27):
make sure that I share that with you because I
want you to I wanted to make sure that you
have a tool another duel that can help you get
into a clearer comma space so that you can then
come into that alignment and be in the alignment in
order to take action or to speak your truth to
(31:50):
whether it's a personal or a business experience. You want
to be in alignment before you speak. And you definitely
if you have a reaction and you've been triggered and
you have a reaction like the fear of judgment. You
want to make sure that you clear your that fear
(32:13):
before you speak your truth to someone, because when you
want to speak from that clear space, the palm space,
that's really important for you to be able to speak
your truth. So no, that's all important in terms of
(32:36):
being able to really move through that fear. And then
the next block that I want to talk about is
the lack of clarity. So what happens is when you
are in you are wanting to speak your truth, but
(32:57):
there may be conflicting the feelings or intention that would
cloud you or confuse you. And if you're in that
place of cloudiness or confusion, then you do not want
to be speaking your truth until you work through and
(33:18):
do what you need to do to process through so
that you can then speak your truth with clarity and
conviction and confection. And so what happens Why do you
have a lack of clarity? What happens? Why does that happen? Well,
you have again those fears, the fear of judgment, the
(33:42):
fear of rejection, the fears of conflict. This is a biggie.
I have a lot of clients that are really really
fearful of conflict and learning to know that you can find.
What I believe in is when you and the other
(34:05):
person are willing to have really good conversation, you can
work through the conflict and have conflict resolution. Know that
I've done shows on that before, and that's really important.
So when you are working on being able to have
(34:29):
more clarity, you want to be able to make sure
you're letting go of those fears and again you know,
being able to understand where those fears came from, what
triggered the fears. Like for example, when I was talking
about when I think last week, I was talking about
(34:50):
my friend's tone of voice and once she would go
into the tone of voice, I got trigger. That trigger
was my mother. I was like, tone of voice sounded angry.
I went ooh, and I would have to work through
before I would be able to have a great conversation
with her. And this friend and I have been friends
(35:12):
for a very long time, and what's amazing about our
relationship is we're able to communicate and we're able to
process through our challenges or conflicts together so that we
end up end up getting closer and more connected rather
(35:32):
than being split apart, because what happens if you're not
dealing with the conflict in the relationship, you can end up.
The relationship may end because anger can keep on growing
and growing if it's not if the conflict is not resolved,
and it may be anger, or it may be fear
(35:53):
right and maybe intimidation or maybe whatever your issue is
and whatever that other persons is. And when you're clashing,
it's about learning what's your piece and what's theirs, working
on yourself and then healthy in a healthy way, be
able to communicate with clarity and compassion. Now I know
(36:16):
sometimes you're not always able to do that, but I
also coach, when I would coach couples or when I
coach clients, don't communicate until you are in that calm,
a clearer state, so that you can communicate with that
confidence or clarity, conviction and compassion. And I will tell
(36:41):
you what happens. When that happens, you are able to
the other person is more likely to hear you, because
if you start viewing the other person or spewing things
out because you're in reaction, it can escalate into things
that you do not want. So really important, if you
(37:04):
notice that you are getting triggered with fear or anger.
Take your time, do not do not speak until you
process more things through and then and then be able
to go back and find a time whether two of
you can talk to make to have a win win
(37:29):
conversation or a healthy conversation. And another thing that creates
lack of clarity is you're if you're in emotions, and
this is what I was saying, if your emotions and
you're really angry, you're really fearful, or maybe you've been
shamed or guilted. I know that sometimes people guilt to
(37:51):
try to get what they want. And if you feel
like you've been guilted or maybe and then very often
we are shamed and you may not even realize it
because it may be so part of how you grew up.
But I also want to support you. No one has
the right to shame you, No one has the right
(38:12):
to guilt you. And it's learning to recognize that that's
been happening, that you've been triggered and again not reacting,
but being able to process through. And you may need
support to be able to work that through and to
be able to process through with a coach or a
(38:34):
counselor to be able to move through what was triggered
and what your truth is so that you can then
communicate clearly. And I am going to continue this conversation
because it's a really important conversation. Communication is crucial. Being
(38:56):
able to communicate clearly with confidence, with clarity, and with compassion,
and we're going to talk more about that is really
essential in every area of your life, in your relationships.
And here's the thing. Every era of your life includes relationships,
(39:19):
and I'm including the relationship with yourself. So and that
fear of judgment, you need to look at the fear
that is just popping as I'm talking, and I know
we're coming to an end, coming into an end for
the show, but that fear of judgment, you may also
be judging yourself, and sometimes you may be judging yourself
(39:39):
most harshly. And so it's learning not only to reframe
and talk, start talking to yourself in nicer ways, but
to stop that self judgment because that's not helping you. So,
so we talked about that fear of judgment. We talked
(40:00):
about how to overcome it, which is the self talk.
It's being able to move through your feelings. So that
you can come back to that calm, clear state so
that you can connect with the true you and being
in the present moment, because when you communicate clearly, you
(40:23):
are in the present moment. That's important. And we started
talking about having more clarity in your communication and will
continue this discussion in a couple of weeks. So next
week there'll be a replay and it's going to be
and it's so interesting that it came up this week
(40:45):
was stepping into your authentic self. So definitely you want
to catch the replay of stepping into your authentic self
next week. And I will see you in two weeks.
And I want to thank you all for being here,
for joining us, whether you're joining live or whether you're
(41:06):
joining at a later time. Thank you for coming, and
thank you all of you who has questions and commented.
Appreciate all of you, and thank you. Auntie says, thank you,
appreciate that. And I really want to support all of
(41:27):
you to know that you can do this. You can
learn have to communicate the power of your voice and
communicate with confidence, clarity and compassion, and so to be continued,
and I wish you all and inspired and empowered day
(41:51):
and evening and inspired and empowered me calibrate when everybody
bye for now most numberststststistics testist Pesti
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. And we are Thursdays at five
pm Eastern on talk for TV dot com, W FOURWN
dot com and my YouTube channel. And today we are
(01:12):
talking about the power of your voice communicate with confidence,
clarity and compassion. And so today's episode is part two
and we're going to continue where we left off last week,
(01:33):
which was a question and I'll get specific around the
question around judgment. So we're going to be talking today
about the blocks to communicating with confidence, clarity and compassion.
So stay tuned and learn about the blocks and how
to clear them. And I'm your host, Nancy Deutsch, licensed
(01:57):
clinical social worker, certified HITNO Therapist, an intuitive business expert.
I can buy my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to
transform your life and help women take their business to
the next level or create a successful holistic business. And
(02:22):
this show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
It is for educational purposes only. So we are going
to get to last week. Anestasia asked the question, and
of course, you know, I love your question, so definitely
(02:45):
keep bringing them in, asking your questions about anything that
I'm talking about or comments anything that occurs to you.
So Anastasia said, why do we care so much of
out what others think of us? Now? This question came
after I started talking about judgment and how judgment. What
(03:13):
happens is when we had the fear of judgment, and
the fear of judgment is old, it is something that
we have had. It's actually the energy of fear is
actually in our DNA. It is instinctual, and it is
(03:36):
instinctual because of the stress response that fight light or
freeze reaction. And what happens is that fear of judgment
plays right into that fear reaction. So let me talk
(03:58):
a little bit. I'm gonna talk about out my psych
one oh one life and so that we're all on
the same page. So you have your conscious mind, which
is the part of you that tuned in or is
tuning in now or will be tuning in for those
of you coming later, and thank you conscious mind of yours.
And your conscious mind empowers you to make decision and
(04:23):
when you make decisions from that empowered place, it really
helps you to feel inspired and empowered. So that's your
conscious mind. Your subconscious mind, or your own conscious mind,
is the part of you from the moment you were
conceived to present. Time has recorded every moment that you
(04:48):
had been alive. And so those programs, those limiting beliefs,
those emotion that are programmed into your subconscious mind is
what would keep you from being able to use your
voice effectively, to be able to communicate with clarity, confidence,
(05:13):
and compassion. And so we're going to be talking more
about overcoming those blocks today. As I said before, the
first one being the fear of judgment. And then you
have your super conscious mind, which is the part of
you that is connected to your higher aspects of self,
your higher self, your soul, and your intuition comes from
(05:38):
connecting with your higher self, and your soul and your
angels and guides and beings of light are all part
of that super conscious mind of yours. And so you
want to be learning to really when you're in alignment,
that's when you're communicating with confidence, clarity, and compassion, and
(06:04):
that's what we're going to continue to talk about. Do that.
So the question that Anesthesia asked specifically is why do
we care so much about what others think of us?
And we care because of that fear reaction. Like I
(06:27):
talked before about that stress reaction, that energy of fear
is so instinctual and so deeply ingrained in us that
we are reacting from it all the time, even when
you don't even realize that you're reacting. So let's talk
(06:47):
a little bit about more about what else, what else happens,
and why you would have that fear of judgment. So
and I talked a little bit about this at the
end of the show, but I wanted to bring it
up again because it's such a crucial and important piece
And that sub conscious mind of yours, as I said,
(07:12):
is recorded everything that has gone on for you. And
what happens is that when you were growing up from
past conditioning, so it could be growing up from your childhood,
your teenage years. Teenagers are really scared of that judgment.
(07:33):
They want that peer pressure. I mean kids, we all do,
I mean, we still want that approval. It's part of
being human. But what happens is as you heal yourself
and becoming more inspired and empowered lead you to be
able to tap in to that place of authenticity and
(07:54):
alignment so that you can speak your truth and try
us that your approval is coming from inside of you
rather than from outside of you. However, most of us,
including me, I admit it, there's still this fear of judgment.
(08:14):
Now does it get less and less and less. Yes,
because as you heal those issues where that fear of
judgment began, that's how you can let go. Now that
fear of judgment will affect you. It will affect you
in your relationships on a personal level, on a business level,
(08:37):
what happens when you have that fear of judgment, you
are afraid to speak your truth and it will affect
you in your business by not being able to speak
directly to perhaps coworkers or your team or clients or
anything like that. And then you have your personal life
(09:05):
and when you have that fear of judgment. And here's
the thing, and I also want you to know that
there's a lot of times it's not even conscious that
you go into that reactive space, and it's so reactive
it's just it happens so easily, and so it's learning
(09:25):
how to come out of that reaction space so that
you can then start taking action that feel authentic and
congruent with you and start speaking your truth and not
fearing judgment and judging and others judgment. And so what
(09:47):
happens also when you have the fear of judgment, So
you may stay quiet when you really want to speak up,
or you warded down your truth because you are afraid
of what others really think of you or feel about you,
because you want to be like so much, and you
may not be sharing who you really are, or if
(10:12):
you're as a business owner, you may not be sharing
who you are or promoting yourself in a confident way.
And so what this is all about is and here's
the other thing. The other thing about the fear of
judgment is very often it can come from feeling like
(10:35):
you have to be perfect, you have to be perfect,
and if you're not perfect, and you shouldn't be speaking
your truth, and you start comparing yourself to other people.
Now we have a comment Arnie says exactly what I post,
(10:56):
and I am doing exactly what I post and am
doing being my authentic self. So, hey, Arnie, welcome. I
want to give a shout out to you. Glad that
you're here, and I'm really excited to see you, and
I really want to acknowledge you for that you are
(11:17):
posting and being your authentic self and that is so
important and so crucial because when you are allowing yourself
to be that authentic self, you are attracting the people.
If you're in business, you're attracting the people you're meant
(11:38):
to serve. And in your personal relationships, you'll attract the
people that want to connect with you, that want to
relate to you, friends and relatives that if they don't
like what you say. Now, here's the thing when it
comes to friends and relatives, Okay, you can it can
(11:59):
be taught because you may get most of the judgment
from them. But really, I love what Arnie just said,
to thy own self be true. So Arnie just said,
to thy own self, be true, And that is what
it's about. And here's the thing. You're not going to
be able to please everyone. It's just not going to happen.
(12:24):
So if you are comparing yourself to other people or
you're trying to be perfect before you speak out and
speak up and speak your truth. Then you may never
speak your truth. And so I really want to support
all of you in being able to do that. Now.
(12:45):
Other what also happens is that when you are doing
your work and you have a certain attachment to a
certain identity. Now, okay, now here's the thing. It's learning
to be your authentic self rather than trying to be
(13:08):
that facad what you think your people or people will
will want you to say, or that or would like
you to say. When it's learning to be that authentic
self to be true, like Arnie said it, to thine
own self be true. And that is the truth. And
(13:31):
it's really important to be in that truth and come
from that truth. And when you come from that truth,
that's when you are able to connect with that authentic self,
which is really your higher self, that wise, unconditionally loving
(13:53):
part of you, or your soul, that core energy essence
of who you are are. And when you connect with
that truth of who you are and you're in alignment,
you become powerful. Your presence becomes wanting to be heard.
(14:15):
And Arnie said it. He brought in another point, you
stand in your own power. And that's what happened standing
in your own power. That's what you want. You want
to stand in your power. When you are in connection
(14:37):
with your authentic self, you're able to stand in your
power and you allow. And here's the thing, letting go
of the judgment. I see your commoner question, Missy. I'll
get to it in a sec When you allow yourself
to stand in your power, to be in alignment to
(14:57):
speak your truth, you allow your light to shine. You
allow your soul's light, the light and the love that
is who you really are at the core, your core
energy essence. You allow yourself to shine, and you stop
playing small. Whether it's in your personal life or your
(15:19):
professional life, you stop playing small, and that is how
you become empowered. Now, Missy, Misty says, you need to
know the true you in order to do this. Yes, Misty,
I agree with you. But and here's the thing. Yes
and no, And what I mean by that is, yes,
(15:42):
you want to know who the true you is. But
I also want to remind you, and all all of
you is to remind you that we're on this journey
to get to know the true us more and more
so learning how to let go of that facade or
(16:03):
the ego representation of what you think you should or
shouldn't do, and learning to tap into who you really are.
The true you is a journey and is a process
unto yourself. And it's I see Nikki your question, and
it's it's something that happens over time. It's not like
(16:26):
all of a sudden like I'm the true me. It's
this uncovering and discovering, learning to discover who you really are,
letting go of that approval, that fear of judgment is like,
it's the most amazing thing that happens. And I'm going
(16:48):
to tell you I'm still in the journey. I've been
working on this for a very long time. I haven't
gotten it all covered. I am still wanting to you know,
here's the thing and what happens is there still that
wanting of approval. And here's the thing. When you're in
(17:08):
business and you're on social media. Social media can be
a real mind like it can mess with your mind
because you want all the likes and you want the comments,
and you want the engagement. And it's about being in
the journey of trusting that the universe is bringing you
(17:33):
the alignment of who you're really meant to serve, not
one hundred thousand views, but who you're meant to serve,
and where you are right now. And when I say
where you are right now, what I mean by that
is is that. And I'll give you an example from
my own life. So I started this TV show, well
(17:54):
actually I started it a few years ago, the TV show,
but I've been doing the podcast for then many years.
And I will tell you I was being called to
do the podcast, but I didn't want you to hide.
And so I was doing the podcast, but I wasn't
doing the social media or I wasn't I wasn't doing
(18:17):
the things that I needed to do. And then as
I kept growing and healing, and as I kept feeling
more comfortable with what I was doing, I remember being guided.
I remember that still small voice inside of me saying
in the beginning, this is practice, this is your practice,
So keep going, keep going. It was like very encouraging
(18:40):
from spirit. So I was very encouraged, and so I
kept going. And what happened was I started having more
and more confidence in myself. Because what happens is as
you do, you get more confident no matter what you're
talking about, whether it's personal or professional. The more you process,
the more you want cover about yourself, The more you
(19:02):
discover about yourself, and the more actions inspired actions that
you take, the more confident you've become. And so that's
what I want to support all of you in remembering
that it is a journey and a process and not
a poof magic. You're done, and know that little by
(19:23):
little you're going to keep growing into more and more
the authentic you, the true you is, Missy said, and
learning to be able to connect more to that true you,
so you don't have to know who you're true you is.
It's about learning and discovering who you're true you is.
What are your feelings, what are your thoughts? What are
(19:47):
those intuitive impulses wanting to say to you? Because those
intuitive feelings or knowings or sensings are giving you clues
from your higher self and your all those higher aspects
of self to what your soul or what you're being
guided or what you are needing to hear in the moment.
(20:11):
And I want to get to Mickey's question, So let
me get to Mickey's question him. Mickey, so is this
living like living in the moment with what you have?
So when you are connected, when you are connected, you
are living in the moment. You when you're in that
(20:33):
place of living in the moment and you're in that
alignment and you're uncovering your authentic self, you're true you,
as Missy said, and really discovering more and more of
who you are. It's it's unfolding. You are unfolding, and
the more present that you are when you get those
(20:56):
intuitive hits, it's when you are present in the moment
that you may feel or sense or see or know
that you are in the moment because that's where your
intuition comes in the moment, and you're in that place
where you can receive the guidance from your higher self
(21:18):
and from your soul. And so living in that moment
is really important and really powerful to move you on
your journey of discovering more of who you really are.
So and also another thing about the fear of judgment
is it's the old programming. So what happens is when
(21:42):
we grow up with trauma, our nervous system gets programmed
to fear rather than love. To fear like, oh my god,
am I doing the right thing? Like I have clients
like Kathy. Kathy would be her first reaction is, oh
(22:09):
my god, I did something wrong. I did it wrong.
I'm wrong, and her nervous system goes and she what
happened for Kathy? She grew up and her mother always
criticized it, criticized her, made her wrong and made her
(22:30):
so wrong and so critical. She was so critical of
her that when she tries to do something or when
she says something or something happens, her first reaction is like,
I did it wrong. Oh my god. So Kathy and
(22:52):
I have worked together for time. As we work together,
she's been able to know that that first reaction is
coming from her old trauma, her mother. And now she
does the self talk and the self talk of saying, no,
(23:14):
we haven't done this wrong, this is okay, I can
do this, or it was really fine. And one of
the ways to talk to help yourself get out of
the fear of judgment is the powerful self talk and
what are you saying to yourself to support you in
(23:34):
being able to know you're that you got this. And
sometimes that can be really hard because if you grew
up with a little with a critical mother or father
or critical caretaker like Kathy, it can take time or
even awareness. Like we were talking about like Nicky was
(23:56):
talking about living in the moment, to be in the
moment and be aware in the moment, to notice that
you've been triggered by the fear of judgment, by that
old trauma pattern, so that you can self correct. And
so that's one of the things that you can do
(24:17):
to self correct that fear of judgment. And when you're
running your own business, that fear of judgment definitely, like
I said, the approval or the comparison, the perfection, I mean,
it can come up in so many ways. And again
it can come up in so many ways around your
personal life, like when you have that trauma reaction your
(24:42):
nervous system, that's a default and it's going to be
a process, a process to retrain your nervous system to
think differently. And that's what they now call is neuroplasticity.
Neuroplasticity is when you are creating new brain waves, new
(25:06):
neural pathways, so that you can then start reacting differently,
or I call it responding, not reacting to me. When
you're reacting, you're reacting from that subconscious mind. When you're responding,
you're responding from a very conscious, clear space. And that
(25:30):
is who you want to be, to communicate with confidence,
quarity and compactionion. So and then here's the other thing,
is this cultural conditioning and your cultural conditioning, like, for example,
for women, many of us women grew up in the era,
(25:50):
Oh no, you can't get angry. Being angry not for
women or you got it. People please. And here's the
thing I want you to know. Men have people pleasing too.
But in our culture, especially years ago, women were taught
(26:11):
to take care of others, take care of the family,
take care of everybody else but themselves, and not do
the self care to people please. And it's learning to
again correct again, noticing that you're being triggered or you're
(26:31):
reacting to old cultural conditioning. Because I want you to
all know that women and men, we have all the
same rights. You have a right to all your feelings,
all your feelings, and anger is one of those feelings
(26:52):
that it's really important to be able to learn that
you have a right to and to be able to
know that you can feel the anger and you don't
have to act on it and one of the ways
to move it through. And again I always say, feel
your feelings really important. But you want to make sure
(27:13):
that you're not hurting yourself, someone else, of the environment,
like destroying property. So that's important. And I really want
all of you to know that feeling your feelings is
really important. And I was talking about this. I don't
remember who was Lasher or the show before or whatever.
It was fairly recently where my mother I think it
(27:36):
was last week. My mother was a rager. And what
a rager is is they react to every little thing.
She would be overwhelmed. There were three of us. I
was the oldest, and she would react. She would react
to everything. I felt like I had a walk on
eggshell to try to please her. It is with people
(27:58):
pleasing and come in. And I was terrified of anger
because when she would go into the rages, I didn't
know if she would hurt me or hit me or whatever.
I and so there was this major fear fact and
so so no, those trauma reaction can still rule you today.
(28:25):
And I had to work a long time to be
able to feel my anger, to know it was safe
to feel my anger and to connect with it in
a healthy way. And I want you to know, like
when you're feeling a feeling, when whatever that feeling is
(28:45):
is that you can breathe through it, and you can
ask you can ask your higher self and your soul
and the universe, your angels, your guides to help you
release it. But it's important to acknowledge it and not
try to deny it or suppress it, because what happens
if you're doing that, that can lead to symptoms and
(29:06):
that fear of judgment, and that fear is all part
of what happened. And so I really want to support
all of you in remembering and knowing that it's okay
to breathe, to ground yourself, to move through and allow
that anger. A lot of times what I'll tell a
(29:29):
client to do is to go to the gym and
move it through your body. Or I used to have
a client that would run it out. So find your way,
your tool to move the emotions through your body, because
it's when you move the emotions through your body that
you can get back into the alignment. You get back
(29:51):
into that place of centeredness and peace, which is where
that power of your voice and come through in a confident,
clear and compassionate way. And I want to share with
you that I have a meditation and that meditation is
(30:16):
it those takes you through the process of clearing, connecting
with your higher self and asking a question so that
you can receive an intuitive answer that you can make
your best decisions using this meditation. And I have it
in a MP three format so you can listen to it,
(30:39):
or I have a PDF if you want to read
it breathe through it, because you want to be able
to allow yourself to connect, to clear connect and allow
that information to come through. So the name of the
go to the name of the show, Inspired and Empowered
Living dot Forward slash Meditation Meditation n E d I
(31:07):
t A t io n so Inspired and Empowered Living
dot com Forward slash Meditation N E d I t
A t i o n okay. So. I wanted to
(31:27):
make sure that I share that with you because I
want you to I wanted to make sure that you
have a tool another duel that can help you get
into a clearer comma space so that you can then
come into that alignment and be in the alignment in
order to take action or to speak your truth to
(31:50):
whether it's a personal or a business experience. You want
to be in alignment before you speak. And you definitely
if you have a reaction and you've been triggered and
you have a reaction like the fear of judgment. You
want to make sure that you clear your that fear
(32:13):
before you speak your truth to someone, because when you
want to speak from that clear space, the palm space,
that's really important for you to be able to speak
your truth. So no, that's all important in terms of
(32:36):
being able to really move through that fear. And then
the next block that I want to talk about is
the lack of clarity. So what happens is when you
are in you are wanting to speak your truth, but
(32:57):
there may be conflicting the feelings or intention that would
cloud you or confuse you. And if you're in that
place of cloudiness or confusion, then you do not want
to be speaking your truth until you work through and
(33:18):
do what you need to do to process through so
that you can then speak your truth with clarity and
conviction and confection. And so what happens Why do you
have a lack of clarity? What happens? Why does that happen? Well,
you have again those fears, the fear of judgment, the
(33:42):
fear of rejection, the fears of conflict. This is a biggie.
I have a lot of clients that are really really
fearful of conflict and learning to know that you can find.
What I believe in is when you and the other
(34:05):
person are willing to have really good conversation, you can
work through the conflict and have conflict resolution. Know that
I've done shows on that before, and that's really important.
So when you are working on being able to have
(34:29):
more clarity, you want to be able to make sure
you're letting go of those fears and again you know,
being able to understand where those fears came from, what
triggered the fears. Like for example, when I was talking
about when I think last week, I was talking about
(34:50):
my friend's tone of voice and once she would go
into the tone of voice, I got trigger. That trigger
was my mother. I was like, tone of voice sounded angry.
I went ooh, and I would have to work through
before I would be able to have a great conversation
with her. And this friend and I have been friends
(35:12):
for a very long time, and what's amazing about our
relationship is we're able to communicate and we're able to
process through our challenges or conflicts together so that we
end up end up getting closer and more connected rather
(35:32):
than being split apart, because what happens if you're not
dealing with the conflict in the relationship, you can end up.
The relationship may end because anger can keep on growing
and growing if it's not if the conflict is not resolved,
and it may be anger, or it may be fear
(35:53):
right and maybe intimidation or maybe whatever your issue is
and whatever that other persons is. And when you're clashing,
it's about learning what's your piece and what's theirs, working
on yourself and then healthy in a healthy way, be
able to communicate with clarity and compassion. Now I know
(36:16):
sometimes you're not always able to do that, but I
also coach, when I would coach couples or when I
coach clients, don't communicate until you are in that calm,
a clearer state, so that you can communicate with that
confidence or clarity, conviction and compassion. And I will tell
(36:41):
you what happens. When that happens, you are able to
the other person is more likely to hear you, because
if you start viewing the other person or spewing things
out because you're in reaction, it can escalate into things
that you do not want. So really important, if you
(37:04):
notice that you are getting triggered with fear or anger.
Take your time, do not do not speak until you
process more things through and then and then be able
to go back and find a time whether two of
you can talk to make to have a win win
(37:29):
conversation or a healthy conversation. And another thing that creates
lack of clarity is you're if you're in emotions, and
this is what I was saying, if your emotions and
you're really angry, you're really fearful, or maybe you've been
shamed or guilted. I know that sometimes people guilt to
(37:51):
try to get what they want. And if you feel
like you've been guilted or maybe and then very often
we are shamed and you may not even realize it
because it may be so part of how you grew up.
But I also want to support you. No one has
the right to shame you, No one has the right
(38:12):
to guilt you. And it's learning to recognize that that's
been happening, that you've been triggered and again not reacting,
but being able to process through. And you may need
support to be able to work that through and to
be able to process through with a coach or a
(38:34):
counselor to be able to move through what was triggered
and what your truth is so that you can then
communicate clearly. And I am going to continue this conversation
because it's a really important conversation. Communication is crucial. Being
(38:56):
able to communicate clearly with confidence, with clarity, and with compassion,
and we're going to talk more about that is really
essential in every area of your life, in your relationships.
And here's the thing. Every era of your life includes relationships,
(39:19):
and I'm including the relationship with yourself. So and that
fear of judgment, you need to look at the fear
that is just popping as I'm talking, and I know
we're coming to an end, coming into an end for
the show, but that fear of judgment, you may also
be judging yourself, and sometimes you may be judging yourself
(39:39):
most harshly. And so it's learning not only to reframe
and talk, start talking to yourself in nicer ways, but
to stop that self judgment because that's not helping you. So,
so we talked about that fear of judgment. We talked
(40:00):
about how to overcome it, which is the self talk.
It's being able to move through your feelings. So that
you can come back to that calm, clear state so
that you can connect with the true you and being
in the present moment, because when you communicate clearly, you
(40:23):
are in the present moment. That's important. And we started
talking about having more clarity in your communication and will
continue this discussion in a couple of weeks. So next
week there'll be a replay and it's going to be
and it's so interesting that it came up this week
(40:45):
was stepping into your authentic self. So definitely you want
to catch the replay of stepping into your authentic self
next week. And I will see you in two weeks.
And I want to thank you all for being here,
for joining us, whether you're joining live or whether you're
(41:06):
joining at a later time. Thank you for coming, and
thank you all of you who has questions and commented.
Appreciate all of you, and thank you. Auntie says, thank you,
appreciate that. And I really want to support all of
(41:27):
you to know that you can do this. You can
learn have to communicate the power of your voice and
communicate with confidence, clarity and compassion, and so to be continued,
and I wish you all and inspired and empowered day
(41:51):
and evening and inspired and empowered me calibrate when everybody
bye for now most numberststststistics testist Pesti
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